The Sarah Jane Adventures (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 5 - The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith: Part 1 - full transcript

13 Bannerman Road
is where Sarah Jane Smith lives.

And it's home to things
way beyond your imagination.

There's an extraterrestrial super
computer in the wall,

a genetically engineered boy
genius in the attic,

a schoolgirl
investigator across the road,

and a whole universe of adventure
right here on the doorstep.

Ready? Always.

See you later, then.

Yeah, see you, Mum,
have a good evening.

You too! Bye, K9.

Enjoy your evening, Mistress.



Yeah.

Mr Smith, I need you
quickly and quietly.

Quickly and quietly.

She's off again!

Right, we're coming over.
What is she up to?

How can I help you, Luke?
Activate tracking device, Mr Smith.

Aerial satellite scan.

BEEPING
So, what was her story this time?

She says she's going to
a meeting at the town hall

about a motorway extension.

Mistress's exact words - "You never
know, Luke, there could be a story
in it."

Her excuses are
getting lamer and lamer.

Affirmative. Veracity level 12%.

Why is she lying to us?



She's heading into town.

Query. am I to understand
you are using my tracking system
to spy on Sarah Jane?

It's the fifth time she's
done this in a month.

We've gotta find out
what she's doing. She goes off on

her own, all mysterious,
what if she gets in trouble?

This is highly irregular behaviour.

Do not exceed
your function, Mr Smith.

Your opinion has not been asked for.

That told you! Good dog!

Affirmative, Master Clyde.
She's stopped.

Nowhere near the town hall.
There, she was lying, knew it.

ELECTRONIC SWOOSHING
Whoa! Must stop doing that.

Right.

Scan for alien
activity in that area, K9.

Negative
for alien activity, Master Clyde.

I am perfectly able to
complete that function, Clyde.

There's no need to consult the dog.

Sticks and stones.

So what now, then?
We follow her down there?

Come on.
Two minutes to the next bus.

And you two, play nicely.

"Play nicely," instruction to
human children, conduct recreation in

socially compatible mode.
Oh, be quiet.

There's the car, but where's Mum?

No sign of any aliens either.

No!

I did not just see that.

Careful!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, they're not gonna...

Oh, people are eating!

Wow. Just wow!

Nobody over 22 should be doing
that in public - actually at all!

Shut up, Clyde. Oh, that's
brilliant, she's got herself a man.

What are we gonna say?
We're not gonna say anything!

She wants it kept a secret, so we
never saw that and we don't know.

Luke?

Yeah.

And we thought
she was hunting aliens.

He looked really
posh, I bet he's called Henry or...

She's coming!
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

What are you all doing up here?

Well, the exams are coming up,
so we've gotta work.

Luke's helping us revise.

Did you have a good evening?

Yeah, how was the, er...meeting?

Nothing special.

Why is Mr Smith still out?
'Information.

'Sarah Jane's car is now parked
outside the house.' What? Mr Smith!

'Oh, hello, Sarah Jane,
I have been tracking your position

'as instructed by Luke.'
Big mouth! You did that on purpose!

K9, what have they been doing?

'I have been instructed
to withhold information.'

What was your exact instruction?

'Mistress Rani instructed me not
to relay the information that you

'were followed to your assignation.'
The gob on you!

You've been spying on me?
We were worried.

When you've kept something secret
before, it's always been a disaster.

Does that give you the right to
poke into my private business?

Oh, I was about to tell you anyway.

So who's the lucky fella, then?

His name is Peter Dalton, and

yes, he's very lucky
and rather marvellous.

Ooh! Where did you meet him?

Oh, no, that's all,
end of discussion.

You two, home. Luke,
bed, I'll be in to say good night.

Go on! Off, off!

Sweet dreams.

I should be angry.
Why am I not angry?

'Mistress,
I detect you are experiencing

'a heightened emotional state.

'Alpha waves high, heartbeat fast,
increased serotonin.'

Oh, K9, always the romantic.

Affirmative.

Honestly, I was about to tell you.
I think.

I'm not exactly an expert
in matters of the heart.

Neither am I.

I thought something was bound to
go wrong, with my track record,

and...it keeps getting better.

I didn't know you had
those sort of feelings.

Men were interested before,

but then I'd think, "How can
a relationship go anywhere
with my bizarre life?"

Where did you meet him?
In a shoe shop.

We just got talking, and
he gave me his phone number.

I didn't know people of your age
did that kind of thing. Cheek!

I wasn't going to call him,
but then...

I bumped into him again,
and it got me thinking.

I cut myself off from people
for all those years.

How could anyone like me, with
what I know, what I do, ever have
proper friends?

But then I got you, and
Maria and Clyde and Rani,

and things changed, and perhaps
they're changing on this front.

You look really happy.

But there's still the big
problem, isn't there?

I can't suddenly
spring it all on Peter.

"Oh, by the way, I used to go
travelling through space and

"time in a phone box
with a Time Lord."

"My son was created as
part of an experiment by the Bane."

"I've got a talking computer and
a robot dog." "Oh, by the way,

"my lipstick, it's deadly."

But I do want you to meet him.

Can we just keep all the
madness quiet for a bit longer?

See how things go.

And whatever happens,
we're OK, you and me?

Good night.

METALLIC THRUMMING

I hope I look OK. 'OK,
adequate but unremarkable quality.'

I don't know how I'm
supposed to react.

What am I supposed to call him?

Peter, Mr Dalton?

Dad?

What if I don't even like him?

'Regret I do not have the answer
to these questions, Master Luke.

'Suggest consult
another human being.'

Come on, Luke, he'll be
here any moment. Chop-chop!

Right.

Stay quiet, K9. He mustn't find out
about you, got it? 'Understood.'

Oi! Clyde! What are you doing here?

I think I left my phone
charger in the attic.

Oh, yeah? All right, I want
a good old look at the mystery man.

Hold on, so do I!

Thanks.

Oh, hi, Sarah Jane!

Is that your new man?
What are you doing here?

Erm...well...
YELPING FROM INSIDE BOX

Hello, there! These are for you.

Oh, thank you. Everything all right?

Oh, thanks for looking
after that for me.

Come on, Clyde.

But... Hello.

Peter, they're lovely - thank you!

Are you sure everything's all right?
Yes.

Oh, they're beautiful.

Is that Sarah's man arriving?

Mum, have you got no shame?
At least we were subtle.

And what is that? How should I know?

OK. Very good.

Now, this must be Luke.

Nice to meet you, Mr Dalton.

It's Peter, please. I've heard
all about you, you're the apple of
your mother's eye.

So this is where you live?
Amazing place.

YELPING AND GROWLING FROM INSIDE BOX

Blimey, he's quite dishy.

She's done all right for herself.

Cool car.

Mum, come back!

Clyde!

Oh! Hello! Just popping to the
shops... Do you want anything?

No, thanks. Peter, this
is Gita from over the road.

Oh, Peter and Gita, that's funny!

Gita, nice to meet you.

Pretty flowers.

I run a flower shop, my darling,
Bloomin' Lovely on the parade?

You should pop in, I'll give
you a discount. I do lovely

displays for weddings! Oh, that's
quite enough of that, thank you.

Well...I'll be off.

The shop's that way, Mrs Chandra.
Yes!

Let me just pop these in some water.

So... Yes.

OK, he looks all right.

Did that just move again?

What is it?

YELPING AND GROWLING

'Alien activity detected! Alert!

'Activating
stair-negotiation hover mode.'

It's alive.

Let's hope it's harmless!

Stop!
Stay calm! We're going to help you!

'Mistress, emergency!
Alien activity detected!'

K9, shut up!
Get back inside, he mustn't see you!

It's all meant to be normal!

'Alert, Mistress! Previous...' K9!
'..instructions overridden, danger!'

Hey, what's that?
Oh, it's mine, it's a toy.

It comes from Japan,
it's a robot dog, K9, get it?
'Alert!' But it talks.

Yeah, it's got this
programme with a few phrases.

'Do not look at me,
everything is normal.'

It's a prototype.
It always finds its way home.

You know, I would like one of those.

Let's go. The toys kids

have nowadays, computers and
everything, it's incredible!

Remember that thing with the horse...

YELPING

'Alert! Alert!'

Buckaroo!

What's it doing?
YELPING

'Alert! Oi!'

Let's go. Yeah, I'm starving.

I thought we'd try the new
Italian on the high street.
YELPING

Come back here!

I'd really like to go to university,
but I think I'd also like to work on

my own projects.
MOBILE RINGS

Better get this.

Sorry. Rani?

There you go, my son!

We've got it! But what is it? Travast
Polong. Not evil, just trouble.

I saw him on eBay, the
seller had no idea what he was.

It turns out he was
in his dormant cycle.

He would choose today to wake up!

Get Mr Smith to open up a link to
Polongus and they'll transmat him
home. Already on it.

'Polongus receiving now.

'Earth transmitting now.'

Problem solved. You have fun, right?

But Mum always has a way of
getting things out of you.

It must be being a journalist,
she has to know everything.

Yes, that is so true!

Watch this. You boys OK?

Oh, yes, yes, Luke and I were
just discussing, erm...

Oh, never mind, it's not important.

Oh, no, go on, what?

Oh, don't worry about it, Mum,
it was nothing.

No, no, go on, what were you
talking about? Tell me. Come on.

What's so funny?

What? Nothing!

What are you doing? Just being nosy.

Looking up Peter's gaffe.

120 Christchurch Walk, W4.

Nice place!

That's weird.
There's a "For sale" sign.

And newspapers in the windows,
it looks empty.

That picture could have
been taken months back.

No, no, look, it
says three weeks ago.

I'll ask Sarah Jane. But Luke told me
that she'd never been to his place.

Let's go round there.
Are you joking?

We'll just have a look.
Oh, Clyde, Peter is not an alien!

I know!

K9 scanned him, but
Sarah Jane's loaded, right?

This money from her aunt, the house,
what if he wants to get his hands
on it?

He's a partner in a law
firm, he earns thousands.

I know why you're doing this.
You don't want things to change.

Neither do I.

But Sarah Jane's happy,
isn't that important?

Yeah.

And I want her to stay happy.

Come on.

I don't quite know how to say this.

What's the matter? Well...nothing's
the matter, that's it.

Sarah Jane, I love you.

Good, because the funny
thing is...I love you too.

Come on.

What? This place is creepy.

It's freezing. We got the right
address, didn't we? Of course we did.

Look at this place.
I knew it, lair of the living dead!

There could be a million
reasons for this. I dunno,

he's got everything in storage.

Oh, yeah?

Will you marry me?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Peter, I love you!

Which means...?

Yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes!
APPLAUSE

A perfect fit.

Here they come.
Hey, I've just been telling Luke.

I've got some big news.

Wonderful news!

Peter and I, we're getting married.

What?

Well, you don't have
to look so pleased.

I know it's a bit of a shock,
but Peter's got it all planned.

I bet he has.

What do you mean? Sarah Jane,
we went round to Peter's house.

You did what?
There's nothing there. It's empty.

What? What do you mean?

Mum?

I know it's empty.
He doesn't really live there.

His firm got him a flat in London
nearer the office.

And you've been there?

Plenty of times.

Oh, I should be
angry with you breaking in there.

It's what I'd do, isn't it?

Oh, look at you, I've
made you all so suspicious.

But this is a happy thing, and I
want you all to be part of it.

It isn't the end of the world.

So thanks, but there's no need
to sneak around or worry about

anything. So when's the wedding?

End of next week!

Next week?!
Well, at my age, why wait?

You what? That's mad!

Peter had it all on standby,
a nice hotel in the country.

You're all invited and you, Luke,
you can give me away.

Do I have to do a speech?

'I will help, Master Luke.' It'll
be full of robot jokes, will it?

Don't you think it's a bit fast?

Oh, you're telling me, I've got so
much to arrange, a lot of changes.

'Sarah Jane, anomaly detected.'

That reminds me. First big change.

Mr Smith, commence
deactivation program.

'But, Sarah Jane, I have
detected an impulse registering...'

Initiate total deactivation,
Mr Smith. Protocol five!

'Complying. Goodbye, Sarah Jane.'

No, Sarah Jane!
He was trying to tell us something!

The world can look after itself.

I'm busy with something normal for
a change, and I don't want anything,

any of this getting in the way.

You haven't told Peter about...our
thing, what we do?

Why should I? Perhaps I never will,
perhaps that's the solution.

I don't like this.

I know what'll stop
you worrying, Clyde.

You can dog sit for me, you can look
after K9. What? Really?

What do I say to my mum? Oh, come
on, Clyde Langer, when have you ever

been short of excuses?

Oh, and Rani,
keep Saturday free, dress shopping!

Oh, you're going to make
a lovely bridesmaid! You're on!

And there's that wedding fair.

I know! And your mum can do
the flowers - before she asks.

Right, come on, everybody out.

Things to do!

Come on.

K9, walkies!

And goodbye...to all of that.

ECHOING EVIL LAUGHTER

What have you got there?

A message from our friend Maria.

She couldn't make it, she's got
exams and her dad's tied up at work.

My mum's at another wedding,

cos this was too short notice,
it's all been so fast.

And the Brigadier's
her oldest friend,

of course, but he's back in Peru.

Have you got any
family coming, Peter?

I'm afraid I'm the only one left,
end of the line.

Be back in a sec.

There's something
so weird about all this.

You didn't have to come, Clyde.

I wouldn't miss this.
What if something happens?

Just because your dad turned out bad
doesn't mean mine will.

He's not your dad.

He's going to be.

Don't spoil my mum's day.

Is this it?

That's Emma, does her hair.

Clarissa, used to be her editor.

Oh, that's her accountant,
I can't remember his name.

You must be slipping.
Bit of a sorry turnout.

Well, I suppose that's what
happens when you rush to get married.

It is rather peculiar. Marry in
haste, repent at leisure, they say.

Trust you to be
the voice of doom, Haresh.

Smile!

Congratulations. Thank you.

Hello, everybody. Welcome!

It's time,
so if you'd like to go in.

So...Peter,
where are you heading after

the reception, somewhere exotic?

Afterwards is a surprise.

It can't be any worse than
our honeymoon. Total disaster.

Erm...I enjoyed it.

Brussels - there's nothing there!

Mum.

Rani...you look...good.

I look "good"?

You look amazing. Both of you.

Thought you might have gone
for the Doctor to give you away.

I need somebody reliable,
and I'm so very, very glad it's you.

Besides, where would
I send the invite?

Metebelis 3?

METALLIC THRUMMING

Look at our Rani!

It only seems like
yesterday she was in pigtails.

Sarah looks so happy.

It's just like a fairy tale.
Pull yourself together.

K9, scan.

'All normal, Master Clyde.'

Yeah, so far.

You brought the dog?
Well, what did you think

was under there, the wedding cake?

There's something wrong about this.

Good afternoon, everyone,
I'm the superintendent registrar.

We are here today to witness the
marriage of Sarah Jane Smith and
Peter Anthony Dalton.

In each other's company
they have found happiness,

fulfilment and love,

and they wish to affirm their
relationship with this marriage.

Now, I have to ask this question.

If any person can show
just cause or impediment

why they may not be joined together,

let them speak now or forever
hold their peace.

METALLIC THRUMMING

Stop this wedding now! What?!

What's going on?!
Who the hell is that?

I don't believe it. Who's he?

'Master!' I said stop this wedding!

'Alert! Alert! Danger, Mistress!'
Stop! Get away from him!

No! Peter...

Don't be afraid, Sarah Jane.

It's the Angel. The Trickster!

Mum! Mum!

Sarah! Trickster, let her go!

Too late, Time Lord!

You are mine, Sarah Jane Smith.

Mine forever.

Sarah!

Doctor!

Time's stopped. Time trap.

The Trickster
doesn't want us helping Sarah,

so he's separated us,
trapped us in two different seconds.

All you have to say is "I do".

And if you don't,
you'll remain here forever.

Trickster!
Without Sarah, without you lot saving

the world from your attic in Ealing,
there'll be chaos and destruction,

meat and drink to the Trickster!

Ow! Ow! Argh!

Clyde, no!

Come on now!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd