The Sarah Jane Adventures (2007–2011): Season 1, Episode 1 - Revenge of the Slitheen: Part 1 - full transcript
Maria and Luke start their new school where they pal up with another boy, Clyde. However, two of the teachers and the class genius turn out to be Slitheens in human form. They are shapeless smelly invaders from another planet whose aim is to destroy the Earth by turning off the Sun with the aid of a machine which Luke inadvertently helps them to start. The three teenagers are chased around the school by the Slitheen family.
My name is Maria Jackson
and this is Bannerman Road.
I've just moved in with Dad
after he and Mum got divorced.
Put some paint...
You've got some on your face.
(LAUGHING)
MARIA: Then, in this big old house
over the road,
I met Sarah Jane Smith.
She's a journalist who investigates aliens.
That's Luke, born yesterday, near enough.
Sarah Jane's adopted him
and we saved the world.
I discovered life was bigger,
stranger and better
-than I ever thought possible.
-Oi!
Thank you. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
MARIA: But when school began,
I thought things might go back to normal.
I was wrong. They just got weirder,
and weirder,
and weirder.
(SCREAMING)
-Now, you take care, okay?
-Goodbye, Mum.
Oh, I don't think so.
No, Sarah Jane, that's just fine.
Oh, hi, Maria.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
-Why were they laughing?
-Your mum's kissing you goodbye.
-Is that bad?
-Bit embarrassing.
Plus she wants you to call her ''Mum.''
-She said she didn't.
-It's not what she said.
-That's a bit flashy.
-It's a brand-new building.
-There was an article about it in the paper.
-Wonder what's inside.
BLAKEMAN: Not them. Scan along.
JEFFREY: Where is he?
BLAKEMAN: There! Him!
JEFFREY: He's not that big! How will I fit?
BLAKEMAN: He'll do. Get yourself ready.
I'll go fetch.
-What can I do for you?
-Stand right there, Tim.
-Any particular reason?
-Very particular.
(FARTS) Oops!
-Happens to us all.
-I'll need those.
-Sorry?
-Oh.
(SCREAMING)
-I'm feeling anxious.
-So am I.
-But you've been to school before.
-Not this one.
Budge up.
-You new today?
-Yep. Maria.
Clyde. New, too. Hang around with you
till I meet cooler people.
How do you do? I'm Luke Smith.
Okay, that was a joke. Now I mean it.
-Good morning, everybody.
-ALL: Good morning, Mr Blakeman.
(FARTS) Ooh!
(ALL LAUGHING)
The wife gave me cabbage and bean tartlets
last night.
Yet another reason to despise Jamie Oliver.
Assembly, ya-de-yah.
Welcome back. It's a new year.
Hope you all do well.
Don't run in the courtyard, don't wear makeup,
and study hard because
none of you are gonna be pop stars.
-What's his problem?
-So, what else?
(BOTH FARTING)
What a bright future you've all got,
children of the world! Et cetera.
We have a new technology block.
I'll be taking you in groups
to look at our new facilities,
starting with Form 1 0-B.
(KIDS MURMURING)
There are 1 6 classrooms
with broadband connections,
but anything dubious your minds
may be drawn to, I have locked out.
I've signed up. The meeting's tomorrow.
''Lunchtime Science Club?'' I'm backing away.
(FARTS) Shut up!
-Why is farting funny?
-Just is.
-It's a normal process.
-Are you for real?
(SNIFFS) Smells weird in here.
-Farts?
-I dunno, metal, electric.
Like batteries.
-Can I sit here?
-Only if I'm not gonna shame you.
-I either sit here with you or sit there with that.
-Ow!
-There's someone worse than me?
-Just.
-So, where you from?
-Hounslow.
-My parents split up. Moved here with my mum.
-Moved here with my dad.
-How's that?
-Better than them rowing.
-Yeah.
-Ah!
What's wrong with that? It's mouldy!
What kind of slop are they serving here?
Is it leftovers from last term or something?
-Sir, sir.
-What?
How am I meant to eat that?
Just pick the bad bits off.
Great. That leaves me with a pea.
Mine's off, too! That is disgusting!
What's wrong with this place?
It stinks, the food's rotten.
Something weird's going on here.
Goodbye, repellent pubescents. Until tomorrow.
-This skin. It's killing me round the legs.
-Time for a test run.
-What about the caretaker?
-I've taken care of the caretaker.
Everything's ready. Come on.
-You've cadged a lift?
-I offered.
Lady Muck, getting the neighbours
to chauffeur her around.
-Shut up, Dad.
-How was the big first day?
Okay. A bit weird. The headmaster keeps farting.
-Noisy, smelly ones, or silent-but-deadlies?
-Ew!
Place stinks like batteries.
The canteen food was off.
I'll make you a proper tea. You go get changed.
-Bye. See you, Maria.
-I want a proper tea, too.
Make it yourself. I'm not your cook.
-Whatever.
-We'll phone out for a curry.
Can't have you straining yourself
after your long voyage home.
-You think you're so funny?
-Yeah.
How do you get like that, you and Maria?
Always been like that, don't really think about it.
The school can't be bad, they've just built this.
Someone donated the money and this new block
was put up over the holidays.
I did an IT job in a school
in a new block that looked like that.
-Was it by Coldfire Construction?
-Yeah.
-Where was that?
-St Cheldon's, in Upminster.
That place smelt odd. Sort of metallic.
Better go. Stop her ordering the entire menu.
Bye.
BLAKEMAN: Systems online.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
That's it. Now synchronise the megawattage.
-Synchronizing megawattage...
-That one!
(GASPING)
-I kept making social mistakes today.
-I made one, too.
Driving you to school when it's round the corner,
kissing you goodbye.
We're both new hands at this.
I don't know anyone except Maria and Clyde.
Maria's in different classes,
and Clyde thinks I'm uncool.
Clyde's not the only kid in the school.
-What if I make more mistakes?
-You'll never make the same ones again.
Listen, anyone is nervous
starting a new school, a new job.
I've never been a mum before.
Do I have to go?
I could take you out, teach you here.
I considered it.
But you're going to live a normal life,
as normal a life as I can give you.
What if I get it wrong again?
It makes me feel stupid.
Remember, you saved the world
the day you were born.
-Not many people can say that.
-No one else can say that.
That's the problem. Nobody else is like me.
(BEEPING)
What are you doing?
Checking up on the firm who built your new block.
Coldfire Construction.
They started expanding 1 8 months ago.
Some odd things cropping up.
They're putting up school buildings
all round London.
Makes a change for me. Not aliens, is it?
Stabilising... There!
Only me, come for a gawp.
Oh, Alan, this is really kind of all right.
Thanks, Chrissie, I value your opinion.
Don't be sarky. Is Maria upstairs?
-I think it went okay for her today.
-What went okay?
-Her first day at the new school.
-That was today?
My mind's been all over the place,
stress you would not believe.
-So why did you come round?
-To see my daughter. Do I need another reason?
Oh, while I think about it,
you were gonna give me
that 1 3.5 tog double duvet,
only you don't need it, you've got the single.
Maria, love, it's your mum!
BLAKEMAN: Uh-uh.
Lights out, London!
(LAUGHING)
School can't be that bad.
I mean, it's a much better catchment area.
Ooh, I've got to go. Ivan's taking me to the pub.
It's opera night tonight,
the waiters sing while you're eating.
-ALAN: Oh, great.
-There's a torch.
-With a flat battery.
-I'm not saying anything.
I'll get the candles.
-Power cut?
-Yes, Mr Smith's not responding.
And guess who forgot to save her work?
I'll see how long it's gonna be.
I can check the power grid.
(BEEPING)
That's impossible.
It never loses power, it can't lose power.
-There we go.
-Goes as far as I can see.
Used to happen when I was a kid.
When there was something good on telly.
Once it went off in the middle of Manimal.
I was distraught.
-Weird. Why's that happening?
-Give them to me.
-No, I can...
-No, I'll do it.
-What was that?
-It's destabilising hell!
-Turn it off, turn it off!
-Turn it off!
(BEEPING)
What?
-Weird.
-It must be faulty.
Or the same thing that cut the electric off,
cut this off.
Every station is working
but the stabiliser cuts out!
I'll fix it.
You bought those plans,
you took his word it worked.
I need to sort out the storage problem,
then it'll stabilise, okay?
And until then, I'm stuck here in this.
Teaching science on the planet Thick.
Where they haven't worked out string theory!
It chafes!
Oh, shut up! Don't you get it? We're nearly there!
One more step and we'll destroy this planet!
(BOTH GIGGLING)
Science is my first class today.
Lab 2A, with Mr Jeffrey.
You'll be fine. See you, then.
-Oh, hi. Not interrupting?
-No, no, no. Just making a start.
-Had a bigger garden in the old house.
-Do you miss it?
Yeah, well, needs must and all that.
I had a lot of plans for that garden.
Just didn't plan on my wife
running off with a judo instructor.
-You ever been married?
-Never found time.
Wise move. Anyway, sorry.
I was just wondering,
that school you mentioned. St Cheldon's?
I'm sure I've still got the plans here.
Yeah, there we go.
Cost a fortune.
They had broadband installed, the works.
-Where did the money come from?
-I dunno, private funding.
-What sort of journalist are you?
-Local stories, nothing exciting.
-Maria was saying you'd travelled.
-You could say that.
-What's that bit there? It's blank.
-I never went in.
Coldfire kept that to themselves,
it was sealed up.
-There's no door.
-You reckon they're hiding something?
Something mysterious.
That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?
-Just a bit.
-Do you mind if I keep this?
No.
A transformer is a device
that changes the voltage
of an alternating current supply, the AC supply.
Such as your...
Our mains electrical supply.
Who invented the first transformer? You.
-Faraday.
-Correct.
-Didn't know what he could use it for.
-What?
Faraday didn't know what he'd invented.
You could get rid of the transformers
and induct power.
I've nothing to do with him.
(KIDS LAUGH)
Quiet! Name.
-Clyde Langer.
-Troublemaker. Noted.
Okay.
You're cool because you make trouble.
-Should I make trouble?
-I hear talking!
(SNIFFING)
-What are you doing?
-My pen's run out, I'm getting a new one.
Let me see that.
(SNIFFS)
-What is it?
-Cold chip sandwich. Made it this morning.
Not chancing my life in that canteen again.
Oi! What are you doing? You can't do that!
You can wait until lunchtime and use the canteen.
-I'll report you for that.
-Go on, try it.
(FARTS)
(KIDS LAUGHING)
(BELL RINGING)
For tomorrow, 1 ,000 words on transformers!
-ALL: Oh!
-Two thousand!
Oh, it's hopeless, Miss Smith.
Even worse this term.
You had the wiring in your new block reinstalled.
Didn't do any good. The computers keep crashing.
Look at this!
Fresh this morning. Everything goes off.
And there's that smell. Like batteries.
This all started when you got your new block?
Hasn't anyone tried to work out what's wrong?
One parent raised it at our meeting.
-And?
-Fell off his bike the next morning.
Three months in traction.
Can't you feel it, Miss Smith?
Like a thunderstorm's coming?
(LAUGHING) Hello, Miss Smith.
Incredible knowledge!
This child, Luke Smith, he must be a freak.
-You think he can help us?
-We'll use him to solve the problem!
-A 1 4-year-old human?
-There's something strange about him.
These kids stink. Acne, grease, coats and crisps.
But he smells fresh.
-When can you get to him?
-Very soon. We have a rendezvous.
Welcome to Lunchtime Science Club.
I had hoped for a slightly higher turnout,
but never mind.
There's only me.
-And me. Carl.
-Luke. Pleased to meet you.
-Hi.
-Carl's the science star of the school, supposedly.
Though I imagine he's pretty rubbish
compared to you.
Look at this. Now, over the summer,
I've been having tons of jolly fun
working on a new project.
What do you make of this?
-Um...
-It's a model for a giant capacitor system.
And purely theoretical, of course.
Nobody could build anything like this.
-You designed this?
-Yes, I'm wasted here. Do you like it?
It's amazing. Let me see.
Now, I have a problem.
My purely theoretical problem is... Anyone?
Don't tell me. With this, you could store
huge amounts of electrical energy.
But there's a loophole.
Here in the storage it wouldn't stabilise.
That's my problem. Well done, gold star. No star.
You went wrong here. You need to add
an equation into the computer control.
-Yeah?
-I'll take your word for it.
The power stabilises. Your problems are over.
Yes, all of my problems are.
I don't know about yours, though.
That school has the same problem as yours.
So I'm off to Coldfire Construction.
-Do you want me to do anything?
-Yeah, have a look around,
find where that smell's coming from.
Okay. See you later, good luck.
-Who was that, then?
-Nobody.
-Result!
-Yes! That's it!
And he just handed it over.
Hilarious! Humans,
even the clever ones are stupid.
At last! We will be avenged.
We'll finish this planet tonight!
Someone looks happy.
I had double math this afternoon.
Science club was brilliant. Mr Jeffrey is nice.
We're going to be friends.
You don't make friends with a teacher.
-Why not?
-You just don't.
Sarah Jane phoned me.
She wants us to look inside the block.
-What you doing?
-Gonna investigate the new block.
I had left something in the new block.
What is it with you and her?
I've seen weird people,
but you two, you're beyond weird.
Go find some normal people, then.
Can I help you?
-That's not right.
-I want answers.
-Where are you from?
-London.
-The layout doesn't make sense.
-Where've you been?
You don't know farting's funny,
you let your mum kiss you.
-Where was your last school?
-I've never been.
-Mum taught you at home?
-No. Sarah isn't my mum.
-There are 1 6 classrooms.
-So what's Sarah Jane to you?
-She adopted me.
-Why don't you call her ''Mum''?
She doesn't want me to.
-What about your real mum?
-I haven't got a mum or dad.
Everybody's got a mum and dad.
I have a dad, somewhere.
This block measures
about 1 ,539 metres squared,
so double that for both floors.
The area of each room doesn't add up to that.
So there's an empty space, through there!
I think you should go home.
So what are you saying about our company, then?
-Miss?
-Oh, you can call me Janine.
Janine. I've been reading up as much as I could,
and it's not just these school projects in London.
You've moved from country to country,
-hiring cheap labour, no questions asked.
-Yes?
At your building in Santiago,
workers refuse to go in. Food goes off.
Endless technical problems.
Valencia, Paris, the same story.
And another thing. The plans for each building
have a large empty area behind a wall.
Why is that?
There's another room, a secret room,
behind there.
-I'll tell you this...
-How do you get inside?
I'm not getting through here. Stop being strange.
Who's that?
Hello?
I know you're in here. I can smell you.
(SNIFFING)
Oh, a little girl. Fresh as a daisy.
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
She really shouldn't be hanging
around school after home time,
not when I've got no reason to hide
in this stupid skin any longer.
(SKIN STRETCHING)
I think that because these projects
are so far apart,
nobody connects you with the problems
so on you go.
I strongly advise you to leave right now.
-If you know what's good for you.
-Was that a threat?
-Yes.
-What?
After all, why should I hide?
Well, that was your last chance, Miss Smith.
Be fair.
I did give you fair warning.
(GRUNTING)
I am Slitheen!
Oh, I love it when they run.
(GIGGLES)
(SNIFFING)
(JEFFREY CHUCKLES)
Luke's too clever by half. He's right outside!
There's another one. I'm after her now.
Oh, it feels good, after so long.
Rejoice in your hunt, brother!
I know you're in here. I can smell you.
(SNIFFS)
Mmm! What lovely perfume
you're wearing, Miss Smith.
You're positively fragrant!
-We're out of here, come on!
-What?
-Where's Luke?
-JEFFREY: I know you're out there.
-That's Mr Jeffrey.
-JEFFREY: There's another one!
Hiding from a teacher. What's he gonna do?
-Ooh, give you detention?
-Come on!
(ROARS)
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Run! It's no fun if you don't run!
The smell of human fear, love it!
(SNIFFING)
Kiddies! Kiddiewinks?
Run as fast as you can, I'm coming to find you.
(GROWLING)
(MARIA SCREAMS)
It's a door, and every door
must have a door handle
about here.
Children, children, come to me.
-We've gotta get out of here!
-We can't. We need to fight them.
-Quick, in here!
-Come on.
So, Luke.
How do you like our little science project?
-Where's Jeffrey? I heard him.
-That's Jeffrey, that thing chasing us.
I'll believe it, why not?
Thanks. Is there a way out through here?
No. There's no way out.
(CARL FARTS)
Oh, no!
(CARL LAUGHING)
I am a child of the Slitheen, and this is my hunt!
(ROARS)
-Get it open!
-It's locked. That thing's real.
I was wrong, it is aliens.
(SQUEALING)
SARAH JANE: The Slitheen family are scavengers,
known to infiltrate planets
by hiding in the native species.
Mr Smith, I need you.
-CLYDE: Is that a computer?
-Turn out the sun.
MARIA: They've switched off the sun.
SARAH JANE: We're going to stop them.
What, the four of us? With vinegar in squeezies?
Daddy, you promised I could do it.
I think an adult better deal with them this time.
DVD Rip by DrMatt 2008
and this is Bannerman Road.
I've just moved in with Dad
after he and Mum got divorced.
Put some paint...
You've got some on your face.
(LAUGHING)
MARIA: Then, in this big old house
over the road,
I met Sarah Jane Smith.
She's a journalist who investigates aliens.
That's Luke, born yesterday, near enough.
Sarah Jane's adopted him
and we saved the world.
I discovered life was bigger,
stranger and better
-than I ever thought possible.
-Oi!
Thank you. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
MARIA: But when school began,
I thought things might go back to normal.
I was wrong. They just got weirder,
and weirder,
and weirder.
(SCREAMING)
-Now, you take care, okay?
-Goodbye, Mum.
Oh, I don't think so.
No, Sarah Jane, that's just fine.
Oh, hi, Maria.
(KIDS LAUGHING)
-Why were they laughing?
-Your mum's kissing you goodbye.
-Is that bad?
-Bit embarrassing.
Plus she wants you to call her ''Mum.''
-She said she didn't.
-It's not what she said.
-That's a bit flashy.
-It's a brand-new building.
-There was an article about it in the paper.
-Wonder what's inside.
BLAKEMAN: Not them. Scan along.
JEFFREY: Where is he?
BLAKEMAN: There! Him!
JEFFREY: He's not that big! How will I fit?
BLAKEMAN: He'll do. Get yourself ready.
I'll go fetch.
-What can I do for you?
-Stand right there, Tim.
-Any particular reason?
-Very particular.
(FARTS) Oops!
-Happens to us all.
-I'll need those.
-Sorry?
-Oh.
(SCREAMING)
-I'm feeling anxious.
-So am I.
-But you've been to school before.
-Not this one.
Budge up.
-You new today?
-Yep. Maria.
Clyde. New, too. Hang around with you
till I meet cooler people.
How do you do? I'm Luke Smith.
Okay, that was a joke. Now I mean it.
-Good morning, everybody.
-ALL: Good morning, Mr Blakeman.
(FARTS) Ooh!
(ALL LAUGHING)
The wife gave me cabbage and bean tartlets
last night.
Yet another reason to despise Jamie Oliver.
Assembly, ya-de-yah.
Welcome back. It's a new year.
Hope you all do well.
Don't run in the courtyard, don't wear makeup,
and study hard because
none of you are gonna be pop stars.
-What's his problem?
-So, what else?
(BOTH FARTING)
What a bright future you've all got,
children of the world! Et cetera.
We have a new technology block.
I'll be taking you in groups
to look at our new facilities,
starting with Form 1 0-B.
(KIDS MURMURING)
There are 1 6 classrooms
with broadband connections,
but anything dubious your minds
may be drawn to, I have locked out.
I've signed up. The meeting's tomorrow.
''Lunchtime Science Club?'' I'm backing away.
(FARTS) Shut up!
-Why is farting funny?
-Just is.
-It's a normal process.
-Are you for real?
(SNIFFS) Smells weird in here.
-Farts?
-I dunno, metal, electric.
Like batteries.
-Can I sit here?
-Only if I'm not gonna shame you.
-I either sit here with you or sit there with that.
-Ow!
-There's someone worse than me?
-Just.
-So, where you from?
-Hounslow.
-My parents split up. Moved here with my mum.
-Moved here with my dad.
-How's that?
-Better than them rowing.
-Yeah.
-Ah!
What's wrong with that? It's mouldy!
What kind of slop are they serving here?
Is it leftovers from last term or something?
-Sir, sir.
-What?
How am I meant to eat that?
Just pick the bad bits off.
Great. That leaves me with a pea.
Mine's off, too! That is disgusting!
What's wrong with this place?
It stinks, the food's rotten.
Something weird's going on here.
Goodbye, repellent pubescents. Until tomorrow.
-This skin. It's killing me round the legs.
-Time for a test run.
-What about the caretaker?
-I've taken care of the caretaker.
Everything's ready. Come on.
-You've cadged a lift?
-I offered.
Lady Muck, getting the neighbours
to chauffeur her around.
-Shut up, Dad.
-How was the big first day?
Okay. A bit weird. The headmaster keeps farting.
-Noisy, smelly ones, or silent-but-deadlies?
-Ew!
Place stinks like batteries.
The canteen food was off.
I'll make you a proper tea. You go get changed.
-Bye. See you, Maria.
-I want a proper tea, too.
Make it yourself. I'm not your cook.
-Whatever.
-We'll phone out for a curry.
Can't have you straining yourself
after your long voyage home.
-You think you're so funny?
-Yeah.
How do you get like that, you and Maria?
Always been like that, don't really think about it.
The school can't be bad, they've just built this.
Someone donated the money and this new block
was put up over the holidays.
I did an IT job in a school
in a new block that looked like that.
-Was it by Coldfire Construction?
-Yeah.
-Where was that?
-St Cheldon's, in Upminster.
That place smelt odd. Sort of metallic.
Better go. Stop her ordering the entire menu.
Bye.
BLAKEMAN: Systems online.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
That's it. Now synchronise the megawattage.
-Synchronizing megawattage...
-That one!
(GASPING)
-I kept making social mistakes today.
-I made one, too.
Driving you to school when it's round the corner,
kissing you goodbye.
We're both new hands at this.
I don't know anyone except Maria and Clyde.
Maria's in different classes,
and Clyde thinks I'm uncool.
Clyde's not the only kid in the school.
-What if I make more mistakes?
-You'll never make the same ones again.
Listen, anyone is nervous
starting a new school, a new job.
I've never been a mum before.
Do I have to go?
I could take you out, teach you here.
I considered it.
But you're going to live a normal life,
as normal a life as I can give you.
What if I get it wrong again?
It makes me feel stupid.
Remember, you saved the world
the day you were born.
-Not many people can say that.
-No one else can say that.
That's the problem. Nobody else is like me.
(BEEPING)
What are you doing?
Checking up on the firm who built your new block.
Coldfire Construction.
They started expanding 1 8 months ago.
Some odd things cropping up.
They're putting up school buildings
all round London.
Makes a change for me. Not aliens, is it?
Stabilising... There!
Only me, come for a gawp.
Oh, Alan, this is really kind of all right.
Thanks, Chrissie, I value your opinion.
Don't be sarky. Is Maria upstairs?
-I think it went okay for her today.
-What went okay?
-Her first day at the new school.
-That was today?
My mind's been all over the place,
stress you would not believe.
-So why did you come round?
-To see my daughter. Do I need another reason?
Oh, while I think about it,
you were gonna give me
that 1 3.5 tog double duvet,
only you don't need it, you've got the single.
Maria, love, it's your mum!
BLAKEMAN: Uh-uh.
Lights out, London!
(LAUGHING)
School can't be that bad.
I mean, it's a much better catchment area.
Ooh, I've got to go. Ivan's taking me to the pub.
It's opera night tonight,
the waiters sing while you're eating.
-ALAN: Oh, great.
-There's a torch.
-With a flat battery.
-I'm not saying anything.
I'll get the candles.
-Power cut?
-Yes, Mr Smith's not responding.
And guess who forgot to save her work?
I'll see how long it's gonna be.
I can check the power grid.
(BEEPING)
That's impossible.
It never loses power, it can't lose power.
-There we go.
-Goes as far as I can see.
Used to happen when I was a kid.
When there was something good on telly.
Once it went off in the middle of Manimal.
I was distraught.
-Weird. Why's that happening?
-Give them to me.
-No, I can...
-No, I'll do it.
-What was that?
-It's destabilising hell!
-Turn it off, turn it off!
-Turn it off!
(BEEPING)
What?
-Weird.
-It must be faulty.
Or the same thing that cut the electric off,
cut this off.
Every station is working
but the stabiliser cuts out!
I'll fix it.
You bought those plans,
you took his word it worked.
I need to sort out the storage problem,
then it'll stabilise, okay?
And until then, I'm stuck here in this.
Teaching science on the planet Thick.
Where they haven't worked out string theory!
It chafes!
Oh, shut up! Don't you get it? We're nearly there!
One more step and we'll destroy this planet!
(BOTH GIGGLING)
Science is my first class today.
Lab 2A, with Mr Jeffrey.
You'll be fine. See you, then.
-Oh, hi. Not interrupting?
-No, no, no. Just making a start.
-Had a bigger garden in the old house.
-Do you miss it?
Yeah, well, needs must and all that.
I had a lot of plans for that garden.
Just didn't plan on my wife
running off with a judo instructor.
-You ever been married?
-Never found time.
Wise move. Anyway, sorry.
I was just wondering,
that school you mentioned. St Cheldon's?
I'm sure I've still got the plans here.
Yeah, there we go.
Cost a fortune.
They had broadband installed, the works.
-Where did the money come from?
-I dunno, private funding.
-What sort of journalist are you?
-Local stories, nothing exciting.
-Maria was saying you'd travelled.
-You could say that.
-What's that bit there? It's blank.
-I never went in.
Coldfire kept that to themselves,
it was sealed up.
-There's no door.
-You reckon they're hiding something?
Something mysterious.
That would be ridiculous, wouldn't it?
-Just a bit.
-Do you mind if I keep this?
No.
A transformer is a device
that changes the voltage
of an alternating current supply, the AC supply.
Such as your...
Our mains electrical supply.
Who invented the first transformer? You.
-Faraday.
-Correct.
-Didn't know what he could use it for.
-What?
Faraday didn't know what he'd invented.
You could get rid of the transformers
and induct power.
I've nothing to do with him.
(KIDS LAUGH)
Quiet! Name.
-Clyde Langer.
-Troublemaker. Noted.
Okay.
You're cool because you make trouble.
-Should I make trouble?
-I hear talking!
(SNIFFING)
-What are you doing?
-My pen's run out, I'm getting a new one.
Let me see that.
(SNIFFS)
-What is it?
-Cold chip sandwich. Made it this morning.
Not chancing my life in that canteen again.
Oi! What are you doing? You can't do that!
You can wait until lunchtime and use the canteen.
-I'll report you for that.
-Go on, try it.
(FARTS)
(KIDS LAUGHING)
(BELL RINGING)
For tomorrow, 1 ,000 words on transformers!
-ALL: Oh!
-Two thousand!
Oh, it's hopeless, Miss Smith.
Even worse this term.
You had the wiring in your new block reinstalled.
Didn't do any good. The computers keep crashing.
Look at this!
Fresh this morning. Everything goes off.
And there's that smell. Like batteries.
This all started when you got your new block?
Hasn't anyone tried to work out what's wrong?
One parent raised it at our meeting.
-And?
-Fell off his bike the next morning.
Three months in traction.
Can't you feel it, Miss Smith?
Like a thunderstorm's coming?
(LAUGHING) Hello, Miss Smith.
Incredible knowledge!
This child, Luke Smith, he must be a freak.
-You think he can help us?
-We'll use him to solve the problem!
-A 1 4-year-old human?
-There's something strange about him.
These kids stink. Acne, grease, coats and crisps.
But he smells fresh.
-When can you get to him?
-Very soon. We have a rendezvous.
Welcome to Lunchtime Science Club.
I had hoped for a slightly higher turnout,
but never mind.
There's only me.
-And me. Carl.
-Luke. Pleased to meet you.
-Hi.
-Carl's the science star of the school, supposedly.
Though I imagine he's pretty rubbish
compared to you.
Look at this. Now, over the summer,
I've been having tons of jolly fun
working on a new project.
What do you make of this?
-Um...
-It's a model for a giant capacitor system.
And purely theoretical, of course.
Nobody could build anything like this.
-You designed this?
-Yes, I'm wasted here. Do you like it?
It's amazing. Let me see.
Now, I have a problem.
My purely theoretical problem is... Anyone?
Don't tell me. With this, you could store
huge amounts of electrical energy.
But there's a loophole.
Here in the storage it wouldn't stabilise.
That's my problem. Well done, gold star. No star.
You went wrong here. You need to add
an equation into the computer control.
-Yeah?
-I'll take your word for it.
The power stabilises. Your problems are over.
Yes, all of my problems are.
I don't know about yours, though.
That school has the same problem as yours.
So I'm off to Coldfire Construction.
-Do you want me to do anything?
-Yeah, have a look around,
find where that smell's coming from.
Okay. See you later, good luck.
-Who was that, then?
-Nobody.
-Result!
-Yes! That's it!
And he just handed it over.
Hilarious! Humans,
even the clever ones are stupid.
At last! We will be avenged.
We'll finish this planet tonight!
Someone looks happy.
I had double math this afternoon.
Science club was brilliant. Mr Jeffrey is nice.
We're going to be friends.
You don't make friends with a teacher.
-Why not?
-You just don't.
Sarah Jane phoned me.
She wants us to look inside the block.
-What you doing?
-Gonna investigate the new block.
I had left something in the new block.
What is it with you and her?
I've seen weird people,
but you two, you're beyond weird.
Go find some normal people, then.
Can I help you?
-That's not right.
-I want answers.
-Where are you from?
-London.
-The layout doesn't make sense.
-Where've you been?
You don't know farting's funny,
you let your mum kiss you.
-Where was your last school?
-I've never been.
-Mum taught you at home?
-No. Sarah isn't my mum.
-There are 1 6 classrooms.
-So what's Sarah Jane to you?
-She adopted me.
-Why don't you call her ''Mum''?
She doesn't want me to.
-What about your real mum?
-I haven't got a mum or dad.
Everybody's got a mum and dad.
I have a dad, somewhere.
This block measures
about 1 ,539 metres squared,
so double that for both floors.
The area of each room doesn't add up to that.
So there's an empty space, through there!
I think you should go home.
So what are you saying about our company, then?
-Miss?
-Oh, you can call me Janine.
Janine. I've been reading up as much as I could,
and it's not just these school projects in London.
You've moved from country to country,
-hiring cheap labour, no questions asked.
-Yes?
At your building in Santiago,
workers refuse to go in. Food goes off.
Endless technical problems.
Valencia, Paris, the same story.
And another thing. The plans for each building
have a large empty area behind a wall.
Why is that?
There's another room, a secret room,
behind there.
-I'll tell you this...
-How do you get inside?
I'm not getting through here. Stop being strange.
Who's that?
Hello?
I know you're in here. I can smell you.
(SNIFFING)
Oh, a little girl. Fresh as a daisy.
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
She really shouldn't be hanging
around school after home time,
not when I've got no reason to hide
in this stupid skin any longer.
(SKIN STRETCHING)
I think that because these projects
are so far apart,
nobody connects you with the problems
so on you go.
I strongly advise you to leave right now.
-If you know what's good for you.
-Was that a threat?
-Yes.
-What?
After all, why should I hide?
Well, that was your last chance, Miss Smith.
Be fair.
I did give you fair warning.
(GRUNTING)
I am Slitheen!
Oh, I love it when they run.
(GIGGLES)
(SNIFFING)
(JEFFREY CHUCKLES)
Luke's too clever by half. He's right outside!
There's another one. I'm after her now.
Oh, it feels good, after so long.
Rejoice in your hunt, brother!
I know you're in here. I can smell you.
(SNIFFS)
Mmm! What lovely perfume
you're wearing, Miss Smith.
You're positively fragrant!
-We're out of here, come on!
-What?
-Where's Luke?
-JEFFREY: I know you're out there.
-That's Mr Jeffrey.
-JEFFREY: There's another one!
Hiding from a teacher. What's he gonna do?
-Ooh, give you detention?
-Come on!
(ROARS)
Oh, no! Oh, no!
Run! It's no fun if you don't run!
The smell of human fear, love it!
(SNIFFING)
Kiddies! Kiddiewinks?
Run as fast as you can, I'm coming to find you.
(GROWLING)
(MARIA SCREAMS)
It's a door, and every door
must have a door handle
about here.
Children, children, come to me.
-We've gotta get out of here!
-We can't. We need to fight them.
-Quick, in here!
-Come on.
So, Luke.
How do you like our little science project?
-Where's Jeffrey? I heard him.
-That's Jeffrey, that thing chasing us.
I'll believe it, why not?
Thanks. Is there a way out through here?
No. There's no way out.
(CARL FARTS)
Oh, no!
(CARL LAUGHING)
I am a child of the Slitheen, and this is my hunt!
(ROARS)
-Get it open!
-It's locked. That thing's real.
I was wrong, it is aliens.
(SQUEALING)
SARAH JANE: The Slitheen family are scavengers,
known to infiltrate planets
by hiding in the native species.
Mr Smith, I need you.
-CLYDE: Is that a computer?
-Turn out the sun.
MARIA: They've switched off the sun.
SARAH JANE: We're going to stop them.
What, the four of us? With vinegar in squeezies?
Daddy, you promised I could do it.
I think an adult better deal with them this time.
DVD Rip by DrMatt 2008