The Saint (1962–1969): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Man Who Could Not Die - full transcript

Nicknamed 'the Man who could not die' international adventurer Miles Hallin goes into partnership with Nigel Perry, whose father has recently died. Following the death of a man suspected of blackmailing Hallin, the Saint believes that Hallin killed Nigel's father and that Nigel himself could be in danger. Hallin and Nigel set out for a pot-holing holiday in Wales with the Saint in pursuit, ultimately confronting Hallin and putting his immortality to the test.

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Astrology, the science of the stars,

believes in the divine influence

of the heavenly bodies over the affairs of man.

By consulting a map of the heavens

at the time of your birth,

an astrologer will analyze your tendencies

towards health or disease, good luck or calamity.

Despite the fact that it was once outlawed by the Romans

and that it is pretty generally scoffed at

in academic circles,

astrology today has more followers than ever before.



How'd you like your tea?

You mean you can't tell?

Milk and sugar?

Right, the first time.

You know, I'm simply dying to cast your horoscope.

So are a few policeman.

And why not, like even the heavens themselves,

will escape the amazing destiny

of the fabulous Simon Templer.

Maps, cards, crystal ball,

TV aren't you laying it on a bit thick, Madame Callio.

You're not taking me seriously.

Oh, I am, I promise you. Come on, tell me more.

Mars, Uranus and Pluto,



constitute the most elevated planets in your horoscope.

This constitutes a desperately urgent warning.

Of what?

Your life is in grave danger.

That's more than possible.

I see a very beautiful woman,

married to a cruel sadistic Scorpio.

I also see an older man, terrified.

He has a physical deformity, a limp.

The woman again she has a mind like a cobra,

they seem to be waiting for someone.

An American named George Felson?

Yes, but he doesn't come.

I know, now let me tell you something Madam C.

Your cruel Scorpio, his name is Graner.

Graner!

You know him?

Well, not actually but can hear things, strange stories.

Well they're probably true.

Oh Simon, you will be careful won't you?

Very, I promise you.

What do you want with Graner anyway?

He stole the Regency Diamond from the Louvre in Paris.

I intend to get it back.

Flava!

Yeah, Mien Herr.

What's Van Linden up to?

He's studying the Hydrangea Diamond.

He's been studying that damn stone for a week.

Yeah, Mien Herr.

I think he's afraid of it.

What else.

Tell him I'll be up in five minutes.

At which time he will cut the Hydrangea Diamond,

ready or not.

Yeah, Mien Herr.

Abdul, listen to this.

The Regency Diamond is still missing

from the Louvre in one of the most daring gem thefts

of all time.

What do you think of that Polarvo?

We've made Life Magazine.

Considered to be valued at over one million dollars.

The Regency Diamond will be instantly recognized

by any dean or a collector.

It is thought that the thieves plan to cut it

into several smaller stones in order to dispose of it.

Are you gonna keep that up all afternoon!

Ohh, you're always so damn childish!

Childish,

Childish is an adjective I do not appreciate

when applied to me, eh.

Yes, well your silly little games that make me nervous.

Ah, what a shame.

Annoyed with me are you?

No, no I'm not, honestly.

Honestly, such an interesting word, eh.

Please don't.

Perhaps you're just torn, hmm.

Torn?

Between your greed for money,

which is excessive and your hate for me which is diabolical.

Why do you say things like that?

They're true.

No, their not true.

Ohh the devoted little wife, eh.

Yes, well I am and you let me be.

You put up a good front my dear, I'll say that for you.

You'll get your reward one day.

If you're patient, when I throw you out.

And what do you expect me to say

to a filthy remark like that!

Nothing my darling,

I didn't marry you for your skill as a debater.

Yes, well sometime you must tell me the reason.

You don't know that you're even stupider

than I thought you were.

Just don't get any ideas about leaving me that's all.

Nobody leaves Abdul Graner

at least not until he's finished with them.

Van Lindon, open up.

I've told you about not closing this door.

It's, uh, force of habit.

Simple precaution when I've the Hydrangea Diamond

out of the safe.

That's quite admirable, don't you think so Flava?

Yeah, Mien Herr.

You understand, there, there is a flaw in the grain here.

How long has he been saying that Flava?

For a week.

Obviously, you cleave it across the floor.

Yes, my plan exactly.

I should cleave it into two briolettes.

Now.

Yes,

of course, now.

You're trembling Van Lindon.

Well, when you stand so close I,

Diamond cutters are like brain surgeons, Flava,

quite useless with the shakes.

Mr. Graner, please.

You're handling property of mine worth 4,000 pounds,

surely I'm entitled to be present.

Yes, of course, I apologize.

Cut the stone!

You doddering incompetent fool.

You couldn't cut a piece of cheese.

No.

And you stink of brandy.

Mr. Graner, I swear, I

You don't think I'd let within 10 miles

of the Regency Diamond, do you?

I've studied it for months, I know could do it.

You are finished, Van Lindon, period.

If you feel that way, I will leave at once.

Unfortunately, it's not that easy.

Is it, Flava.

Not easy at all.

You see, you know to much and, unfortunately,

you've become a distinct threat to me.

And when Abdul Graner is presented with a threat,

he just eliminates it.

Who will cut the Regency?

Van Lindon's replacement.

You have found such man?

Yes, the greatest diamond cutter in America.

George Felson, he's on his way to Teneriffe

at this very moment.

You can trust him?

I trust nobody, you know that Flava.

Felson is very highly recommended

by the syndicate in New York.

And we eliminate Van Lindon?

Tonight

Good day, Senor.

It is Senor Templer.

Captain Garcia, how are you?

Surprised?

No, why?

You're being in Teneriffe and me not being notified.

Well, some police forces do make these little mistakes,

you know.

Possibly, but they're very small Senor Templer,

and if there is one day that you do not report

to my office personally, it might even become smaller.

You mean the size of the cells?

Exactly, you understand?

Perfectly, excuse me.

He obviously knows the diamond is in Teneriffe.

You should arrest him at once Captain.

On the contrary, he do our work for us,

he'll flush out our prey and we move in for the kill.

Senor Felson.

Pleasant day, Senor.

George Felson?

Yeah, welcome to Teneriffe, Mr. Graner sent me.

You work for him?

That's right.

Well that makes two of us.

This way.

Where we going?

Graner's place you're staying at.

I got a hotel reservation.

I'll cancel it.

Who's the old broad?

Graner's sister.

Oh, that's enough of this game.

Mr. Felson, relax, enjoy the scenery.

A diamond cutter really should be more careful

with his hands.

My horoscope said this would be an exciting day.

Madame Callio, I don't think Mr. Felson here,

is interested in our scenery.

We'd better show him the inside of your fruit cellar.

Dear, oh dear, Mr. Felson, where'd you get this?

10th avenue rummage sale?

So who wants to know?

The name is Templer, Simon Templer.

And passport, we'll be needing that.

A fair likeness.

Have to change the picture of course.

You're crazy, you can't impersonate me.

Well the idea doesn't sit as well, but I'll manage.

Graner will spot you as a phony,

the minute you open your mouth.

I don't think so.

Madame C, you don't mind a house guest do you?

You're sure he can't loose?

Even Houdini wouldn't get out of that knot.

Nearly ready, a few minutes more.

If you try cutting that Regency diamond,

you'll smash it to bits.

I don't want to cut it.

You don't?

No, I want it.

You are absolutely nuts!

All I want to do is pass as George Felson,

an expert diamond cutter, for one day.

What do you know about cutting diamonds.

Nothing, you're going to teach me.

Just the jargon.

A fast two hour course.

Madame C. I think you'd better leave us.

The next part of the operation may be rather unpleasant.

So, should we start cutting the hair?

No, no that's, I'll try, I'll try.

Good Mr. Felson, now fill me in

on your professional biography,

what's the toughest job you ever did?

The Star of Salon, I guess, yes, 51 carats,

it had a flaw across it's table.

I had to cut it through the culet.

The what?

Culet with a C.

I cleave it on the first strike into four square cuts.

They brought $20,000 a piece.

Go on Mr. Felson, this is fascinating.

Joris, it's me.

Joris, listen. My dear Christine.

Please, please I haven't much time.

Here.

My passport.

Yes and there's a few thousand besides here,

it's all I could get.

He doesn't give me much money.

You are so very kind.

Yes, well you've been very nice to me.

Somehow you must escape.

How, with no money, with those two louts watching

over every second, with him watching me,

no passport on an island a few miles long.

No, Joris, I can't, someday perhaps but not now.

I wish so very much that I could help you.

Yes, well you just concentrate on helping yourself.

Get out of here right this second,

never mind packing, never mind anything.

But my tools, they are valuable.

More so than your life?

Christine!

You'll be lucky out of here with your own life.

Christine?

I'll be right down, darling.

Get Van Lindon, huh.

Get him some black coffee, he probably needs it.

Senora you look very beautiful tonight.

I'm glad you think so.

Aha, it's a win.

The game isn't over yet Flava

and you must try to curb this dramatic tendency

of yours to count your chickens.

Chickens?

Never mind, your turn.

Oh.

Nervous tonight, darling?

No, not at all.

Good, I'm glad, I always like you at your confident best.

Mien Herr, Senor is gone.

Don't shout Polarva, you sound like an opera singer,

now what's the matter?

Van Linden, he's gone.

Impossible.

I looked everywhere, his room,

the grounds, the whole house.

Well, he can't get far without money and no passport.

Did either of you mention the switch to Van Lindon?

No, Senor, no. Never.

Sure? On mine honor.

That word.

Get him back, he could wreck our whole organization

if he talked.

Get after him, he can't have gone far on foot.

A washed up failure with a brandy soaked brain,

no use to anyone and a distinct danger to me.

And you let him get away.

How absurd.

You saw me lock up Van Lindon's passport.

Van Lindon saw it to.

Of course, he was there too.

I'd quite forgotten that.

How very careless of me.

But you did tell about the alarm switch,

near the front door.

I did not.

Then who switched it off?

And who forgot to switch it on?

Liar.

Veneer of the English gentleman is not quite

in place tonight.

Isn't it?

Twas acquired with a great deal of effort

and expense on the part of my father

but don't let it fool you,

I'm not English and I'm certainly not a gentleman.

Hello,

ah, Felson.

Well when did you arrive?

Well suppose you read the telegram I sent you.

Well, it was addressed to me in Madrid,

it said come to Teneriffe immediately, signed Graner.

So here I am.

Well what do you want me to do?

Tonight.

Right, I'll grab a cab.

Simon, if this goes wrong.

Don't be pessimistic.

Are you really sure that Felson can't get loose?

Not in a million years.

Simon? Hmm.

I'm frightened.

Why?

My Natal Neptune is receiving a violent eclipse

for my Natal Saturn.

Oh, well maybe I'd better drive.

No, you don't understand.

It means there's danger ahead of us.

Have you seen him?

No.

He has a bad leg he cannot have gone far.

Look.

I don't see nothing.

Come it.

Slow down, your horoscope was right.

Are you alright?

Yes, yes I think so.

I can't say I care much for your friends.

It's Graner, he wants to kill me.

Graner? You know him?

I worked for him once, oh please help me, save me please.

Come on, get in the car.

This yours?

Slide in the front.

Can you stand another house guest?

Well Oh please.

It's a worthy cause.

Right, he's invited.

Graner's house just up the road.

Do be careful.

I'll check with you as soon as I can.

Charming.

Good evening.

Oh, you're Mr. Felson.

That's right.

Oh, I'm Christine Graner.

Oh, daughter?

Wife. Come on in. My husband's expecting you.

Darling, this is Mr. Felson.

Is it my love, who told you that?

Well, he did.

Your passport please.

A little weakness of yours, my darling,

you're much to trusting.

Back.

You won't be needing this during your stay here.

I'll give you five seconds to hand it back

or I'll tear your arm off.

If you feel that strongly about it.

I feel strongly about a lot of things.

Particularly money.

For cutting the Regency Diamond, I want 20,000 US dollars.

Cash. In advance.

I never pay in advance.

Goodbye Mrs. Graner, it was nice meeting you.

Oh come Felson, aren't you being a little oversensitive.

Don't touch me, ever.

Sorry, let's not get off to a bad start.

I'm sorry if I seemed a little peremptory.

Come again.

Peremptory, bossy if you like.

I don't like. So don't do it.

You'll have that 20 grand by noon tomorrow.

Otherwise I go back to New York.

Noon tomorrow.

Was you.

Felson, what is all this.

You mean, he's Felson?

He attacked us and he let Van Lindon get away.

Would you kindly explain.

It was either of these two gorillas came

from your zoo, I saw them climbing an old man

and stepped in, that's all.

What have you done with Van Lindon, where is he now.

How would I know, I just gave him my taxi.

Get after him, get the boys

to cover the airport and the harbor.

Come Mr. Felson, I'll take you to your work room.

Darling, see the bags are taken upstairs will you?

She's no bellhop, you carry it.

You have a great sense of humor, Mr. Felson.

Fabulous.

It is, isn't it.

It's a shame to cut it.

I quite agree, but in order to be sold it must be cut.

Out of all possible recommendation,

how do you intend to tackle it?

Probably the same way I cut the Star of Selon.

But this stone if flawless.

Well, cut it through the culet,

then again into four square cuts, minimum stone wastage,

maximum of the stone value.

Four square cuts.

I'll have to study it of course.

Yes, you're probably right.

That way we lose less that 20 carats

when the stone is matched do you think?

We can always hope.

You have a great sense of humor, Felson. I like you.

Just don't get carried away.

I run a big organization, I can use men I can trust.

Yeah, I understand you get hot stones from all over.

When the times come I'll tell you all you need to know.

When the time comes, if I am interested, I'll listen.

I admire your independence.

You'll find I can be quite generous.

Oh, there's just one small thing.

Which is?

Keep away from my wife.

Make sure your wife keeps away from me.

He cannot get away, the men keep watch

on the docks and the airport,

they have searched all the hotels and cafes.

I hope for your sake he doesn't get away.

I do not intend to have a multi-million dollar organization

ruined by a drunken Dutchman.

Such kindness, I can never repay.

It's part of Simon's nature to help the underdog.

Underdog? Me?

Yet for 40 years I was the most respected diamond cutter

in all Amsterdam.

What happened?

I was stupid, I became involved in the theft

of the Troshman Emeralds.

Graner blackmailed me into coming here.

One mistake and a life is ruined.

More coffee?

No thank you darling, I have to meet a shipment

on the 11 O'clock plane.

Ah, Felson, good morning.

You slept late.

Do you mind?

Oh, please, a little touchy this morning?

I'm just naturally unpleasant, I have to do go town.

Oh really, what for?

The electric motor on the scribe, it's burned out.

Oh it was alright yesterday.

It's not now.

Well if you have to go to town, go to town.

How, am I expected to walk?

Well, I could drive Mr. Felson in my car, darling,

if you have to meet that plane.

I do have some shopping to do anyway.

How helpful you are, my darling.

By all means, drive Mr. Felson to town.

You don't go to far.

You'll be in for lunch?

One O'clock if you can survive without me until then.

I'll try.

I'm sure you will.

Parlorvo, Mrs. Graner's going shopping,

Mr. Felson is going with her.

I want you to follow them.

Si, Senor.

What do you find so amusing.

Nothing, Senor.

Concentrate on Felson,

I want to know exactly where he goes.

The motor he complains is broken was new two weeks ago.

Mr. Felson.

What is it?

Nothing.

Something wrong?

Well, I was just wondering if I dare trust you.

I never saw anybody stand up to Abdul,

the way you did last night.

Aren't you the least bit afraid of him?

Should I be?

Well everybody else is.

Including you?

Most of all me.

Want to talk about it?

I know a little cantina, can we stop and have a drink?

Why not.

I was alone, not getting any younger.

Abdul was crazy about me,

kind, considerate, rich so I married him.

And everything changed.

Instead of love all the live long day,

it's been terror, hate and submission.

It's been absolute hell, I can't stand it anymore.

Mrs. Graner, I am honestly sorry

about the mess your marriage is in.

What can I do about it?

Help me steal the Regency Diamond.

Are you on the level.

Absolutely.

Where is it?

In a safe in the bedroom.

And when do we do this?

Right now, today, before Abdul gets back from the airport.

Which is at what time?

Well, he'll be back for lunch at one,

so the safe would have to be out of the house by 12:30.

Then what?

Well, there's a plane leaving for Madrid at 9 tonight.

And what do we do when we get to Madrid?

You cut the stone, we sell it.

And you're rid of Graner.

Mmhmm, and you're rich.

A 50-50 split?

Right.

Okay, you go home,

pack my bag and one for yourself, just one.

Mmhmm.

I'll get the tickets,

we have to make sure we're on that plane.

I'll meet you at the house in 45 minutes.

Alright. Oh and Mr. Felson.

Hmmm

I go with the stone.

Of course.

And if we get caught, Abdul will kill me.

He won't I can guarantee it.

Yes, yes, I believe you can.

I'll see you in 45 minutes.

Senor Templer.

Don't tell me, Captain Garcia's lone support.

You are to report everyday, this is as good a time as any.

Couldn't be more wrong, but who am I to argue.

I trust you are enjoying your stay in Teneriffe?

Enormously.

Gracias.

I understand you're a house guest of Abdul Graner.

Yes, he's an old friend of mine.

How nice.

Isn't it.

Has he got the Regency Diamond?

Captain Garcia, I haven't the faintest idea

what you're talking about.

Mr. Josh Felson, who you met at the airport,

is one of the best diamond cutters in America.

Is he really, I didn't know that.

Good morning, senor, I expect to hear from you again.

No later than tomorrow this time.

Possibly before.

Incidentally, Senor Templer,

I have not seen Mr. Felson since he arrived, why?

No idea, Captain Garcia, perhaps he's been tied up.

Cheer up George, you won't be here much longer,

you'll be out by tonight.

So help me when I get out of this,

I'm gonna break your back.

Now, now George, don't be impudent.

Just be patient.

Where have you been, I'm nearly frantic!

I was delayed.

Well it's 12:30 now he might be home here any second.

Let's not waste time talking.

Well this has got everything but a sphinx.

Where's the safe?

It's behind that head of Horus.

Horus, god of silence, induced to sleep.

I once watched Abdul work this

and he pressed something right here.

He's got the place booby trapped.

Somebody's coming.

Quick, behind the curtains.

Got plenty to explain Felson, first you go to the police,

then you go to the astrology lady.

Why?

It's a long story.

And now you've been at the safe, huh.

Boss will kill you Felson.

Not if you don't tell him.

Mrs. Graner, you can come out.

Keep an eye on sleeping beauty here,

I'll get to work on the safe.

Oh hurry, Abdul will be back here any second.

Tapping on ornament)

Excellent.

Faster Flava. Let's get home, huh.

Oh, what are you doing?

A tumbler combination trick.

We'd better call it off, Felson.

Abdul will come Shhhhhh.

Regency.

It's a million dollars.

He's back.

Put that back, we'll have to get it later.

No.

Christine.

Tell him I worked you over, took the stone,

then you'll be in the clear.

Now wait a minute, where that stone goes, I go.

Alright baby, take it, meet me

at the Hotel Oretava at seven o'clock.

I'm sorry, seven o'clock.

Christine.

Christine,

Flava! Flava!

Flava!

Flava, this way, hurry.

You fools, you incompetent fools.

How did he get into that safe?

I don't know Senor, I heard the revolver shot,

rushed in, found Felson at the safe and then he hit me.

You, my darling, I wonder

what your little contribution is to this charade!

I told you, I tried to stop him.

Oh Abdul, please!

Get presentable, you've got 10 Minutes.

Downstairs, you.

And I want only to get back to Amsterdam

and earn an honest living.

I'm deeply touched.

Simon.

Jorvis, it might interest you to know

that I have been employed by the curators of the Louvre

to return the Regency Diamond, to France, uncut.

Now, give.

Simon! Is there some sort of joke?

Not on me, the diamond in Graner's safe is a fake.

Impossible.

A beautiful done replica,

flawlessly cut glassman, only you could have done it.

Now come on.

It's beautiful!

Oh!

Going somewhere darling?

You can keep this my darling,

it's as big a fake as you are.

Flava, you too.

Fabulous, one million dollars worth.

I'll take that, Felson.

You're a fool, Van Lindon,

did you really think you could get away with this.

Keep him here, if he tries to get away, shoot him.

You come with me.

How on earth did it happen?

Van Lindon made a replica, now come on, untie me.

Look, I'd like to help you but I don't dare.

Look I must go now, I'm very sorry.

Flava untie him.

One thing you didn't know about my wife, Felson,

that she never takes no for an answer.

Alright, take her to my bedroom and keep her there.

You're supposed to be the greatest diamond cutter

in America, now's your chance to prove it.

You will cut the Regency Diamond now

or I'm going to put two bullets through your skull.

Graner, I, uh

Your brains will be spattered all over the ceiling.

Tools are all here, including the electric motor,

which incidentally wasn't burned out at all.

Alright, let's get started shall we?

No closer, Senora.

Oh, Flava, please help me.

You joke, Senora.

But you've always liked me.

Si, it's true but always,

I'm more frightened for Senor Graner,

than sexy for Senora Graner.

Flava, please help me,

I promise you it will be worth your while.

What are you waiting for?

I have to be sure.

Of what? Being a corpse?

Not quite right, needs adjusting.

C'mon you're stalling Felson.

Look I can't cut it if you don't keep your big yap shut!

Felson, you've asked for this,

I'm gonna give you five more seconds,

and then you're going to get it.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Where's Van Lindon?

Where's Van Lindon!

Come down.

Up.

Buenos Dias, Senor Templer.

Where is the Regency Diamond?

I have it.

It's incredible.

Captain Garcia's horoscope

for the day says that today is a day for promotion.

And why not, Graner is the biggest criminal

that Garcia's ever arrested.

Oh, well, oh better get started or you'll miss your boat.

I'll just run down to the corner for some petrol.

Jorvis, why don't you come with her?

And cheer up, I'll get you back to Amsterdam alright.

And give you a share in the reward.

Thank you, it's more than I deserve.

Well now, that leaves just you and I

and the Regency Diamond.

Hmm, what do you mean?

You gave Captain Garcia the fake Regency.

Well, I certainly didn't.

Oh c'mon, my dear, I've played this game to often,

hand it over.

Well now, it was a good try.

Yes, and you might have got away with it

except for one thing.

Oh, what was that.

Just wasn't written in your stars.