The Saint (1962–1969): Season 4, Episode 1 - The Chequered Flag - full transcript

The modern racing car is a thing of beauty.

Sleek, shapely, streamlined, superbly proportioned,

designed for sheer excitement rather than mere travel.

Excuse me.

Certainly.

You don't know me.

No, I'm sad to say I don't.

Catherine Marshall.

May I talk to you?

Name your subject.

Fuel injection.



Fuel injection.

Well, I think you should be talking to a motor mechanic.

It has to be you.

The unstoppable Simon Templar.

Have you heard of Oscar Newley?

No.

Look passed me to the other end of the bar.

That's him.

So, now I know Oscar Newley by sight.

What does he have to do with fuel injection?

Nothing.

It's not his, he stole it from my father.

Miss Marshall, my favorite stories have

an ominous beginning and a villainous middle only.



I like to supply the happy ending.

Exposing it on the all.

Before he died, my father invented

a new fuel injection system.

He was brilliant and practical, and trusting.

That's an ominous beginning.

He trusted Oscar Newley, who got the drawings from him.

Said he needed them to raise finance.

Oscar and Dad were supposed to be going into partnership

to manufacture.

Instead, Oscar patented the drawings

in the name of his own company.

That's a villainous middle.

You do believe me?

Somebody has to.

Thank you.

Not just now, thanks Sam.

How much do you want, Oscar?

From you?

Nothing.

But I'm prepared to buy you out.

So you said months ago.

Look, Oscar, everybody knows you're in money trouble.

What I'm trying to do is to just to help.

Yeah, help yourself to my invention.

Well, have it your own way.

Miss Marshall, one last question.

Oscar is the sort of character who is permanently

in financial difficulties, right?

Right.

Is that important?

Hmm, it could be the first step towards that happy ending.

6,000 pounds.

How can I raise 6,000 pounds in seven days?

Be fair Mr. Bateman, give me a chance.

It's not up to me, I'm afraid, Mr. Newley.

My client's instructions are that if the sum

is not paid within a week,

I begin bankruptcy proceedings.

And that way, your client acquires all of my assets,

including the patent to an idea that could net millions.

What a routine.

He buys up all my debts,

shoves all the IOUs at me for payment in one lump.

6,000 pounds.

Boy, that's the way to take a man's

life's work away from him?

Not a very pretty maneuver, Mr. Bateman.

As a solicitor, I can only comment that it's legal.

Oh, of course, of course.

And this client of yours, what's his name?

I'm not at liberty to say.

You don't have to tell me, I already know.

Who else but that spoiled, selfish, young swine.

I'm sorry, this hasn't been a pleasant meeting for me.

Goodbye, Mr Newley.

Goodbye to you.

Suppose I'd better start looking for another job.

Sounded pretty rough.

We must take the rough with the smooth, Hunter.

We've had so much rough, so many times a bit

of smooth must be on its way.

Either way, something'll turn up.

C'mon.

Simon, you like stories.

I like to understand them.

Tell me one thing.

Why are you going to let Oscar persuade you

to invest in his company?

Catherine, to trap a confidence trickster

first you have to give him confidence.

Meaning money.

No, not yet, later.

First thing I want you to do,

is have a look at the engine of Oscar's racing car,

and let me know if he's installed that system.

I know he has.

One victory in a major race and investors

will be breaking down his doors.

You said Oscar's never seen you?

No.

How can you be sure?

When he and Dad worked together,

I was at school in Switzerland.

Then, we've no problems, have we?

Something has turned up,

on four golden wheels with a spare.

Good day.

Good day to you.

I'm having a spot of trouble with my car.

I mean this firm does have something to do with automobiles,

doesn't it?

Racing cars only.

Yes, well, I'm mad about motor racing.

So, how about helping out a fellow enthusiast.

Yes, of course.

Hunter, see what you can do, will ya?

Yeah.

Thanks very much.

Now, tell the truth, uh--

Toombs, Sebastian Toombs.

Toombs?

Don't I know that name?

It's an old stockbroking family.

Oh, yes, of course.

Perhaps you'd like to wait in the office,

or would you rather look at the engine?

If you're mad about racing,

you might find it very interesting.

I'm afraid I don't know much about engines,

so I'm sure I'll find it fascinating.

Looks incredibly complicated.

It certainly does, doesn't it?

Yes.

Well, the unique thing about the engine

is my new fuel injection system.

Quicker and smoother petrol feed,

vastly improved performance,

and appreciably less fuel consumption.

A big bargain for the ordinary motorist.

You know a good thing when you see it.

When I see it work.

Well, why not do just that?

Tomorrow down at the circuit, watch it work and win.

You and the young lady be my guests, come to the pit.

How exciting.

I've had offers, Mr. Toombs, to buy me out,

but I'm hanging on.

I'll demonstrate my system tomorrow with a spectacular

win and go into production myself.

And then?

Well, with every motor fitted with my system

I'll be rich.

Of course, it's a tight squeeze, financially, just out.

One can always use an extra bit of money to carry on,

but I manage.

How much of a bit do you need to keep going?

You'd like to invest?

I'd certainly like to get in on the ground floor,

if you win tomorrow.

In that case, your repair job is on the house.

Oh, thank you.

Just a couple of loose plug leads, sir.

Nothing wrong with your car.

Or yours, I trust.

See you at the circuit tomorrow.

Yes, at the circuit.

All right?

Yeah.

Well, Oscar here we go.

A big fat win, and you don't have

to sell out to Beau Ellington.

I wouldn't sell out to Beau Ellington

if the flaming car ran backwards.

Not the flaming car, old darling, I'm superstitious.

Well, if you find yourself leading by 13 laps,

don't pull up.

That'll do nicely.

Yeah, so would 6,000 quid in the bank.

Oh, I know.

What makes you so sure that Beau Ellington's

got your IOUs?

And what makes you think he hasn't?

What makes you think Mr. Toombs will show up?

Another blow hot blow cold young city gent, I suppose.

Yet, you know, there was something about him

when he said he'd show up here today,

I thought he meant it.

Here we go.

Time to get out for the warm up.

Yeah.

Hello there, sorry we're late.

Not at all, you're just in time.

By the way, I didn't introduce you yesterday.

This is Katie Sparks.

Hello.

I'll bet she does.

Lee Leonard.

Your racing driver, Mr. Newley?

A very junior partner, too.

I'm in this venture myself, Mr. Toombs.

Every penny I could scrape together.

Good luck for all our sakes.

I'd get the champagne on ice, Oscar.

We've got to win, we can't lose.

You just watch her go.

Trust our Oscar to get money out of a driver.

I kind of like the old buzzard too.

That's not the kind of remark I'd expect to hear

from a saint about a swindler.

Good luck, Oscar.

You still like Oscar?

That was plain rude.

It might take a certain amount of character

to be rude to the richest youngster in Europe.

That was Beaumont Ellington?

Mm-hm.

The fellow who never receives a catalog,

'cause everyone knows he has it all.

One minute to go.

Why the brush to Beau Ellington?

What?

What do you have against him?

Everything.

Need I say more?

Don't see how you can.

It's a good start.

No trouble.

And straight on ahead, and into the first bend

go Beau Ellington and Lee Leonard.

This must be a great moment for Oscar Newley,

to see his car doing so well.

C'mon, c'mon.

And it looks as though Leonard's

taking the lead.

Leonard's making very fast time,

but he can't increase his lead on Ellington.

Ellington is driving superbly.

As they come up to the left-hand bank.

It's a fantastic car.

Oscar Newley must be feeling happy to see it going so well.

And it's the last lap.

About 20 seconds from a lap record here.

Oh no.

Leonard's in trouble.

He's slowed down.

Ellington's going to win.

What a disappointment after such an encouraging start.

What happened?

Don't ask me, old man, ask the engine.

Congratulations!

Thank you, Diane.

Thank you.

Oh, Mandy!

You lovely old thing.

Thank you.

Sam, glass of champagne for my favorite sister, please.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, thank you.

Thank you very much.

Cheers.

Thank you, Mr. Toombs I needed that.

I must apologize for wasting your time.

Well, not at all.

I'm more interested now than I was before.

You mean you're still interested?

Enough to test the car myself.

Well, fair enough.

Here's to you.

Better luck than me.

I'll stay up all night.

I'll check each and every nut and bolt,

so that you can test drive it in the morning.

Good.

On circuit?

Check.

Oscar!

I'm having a party tonight.

Oh, in which of your houses?

Now, don't be that way, Oscar.

If rich boy doesn't like the way I am,

he can leave right now in any one of his 19 cars.

I imagine you could use a little cheering up.

You had foul luck on the circuit just now.

Maybe I was just foul.

Oscar, for heaven's sake.

He can afford to pull every dirty trick in the book.

From slimy legal manipulation to active sabotage.

Take it easy, Oscar.

Hunter found nothing wrong with the car.

That's right.

Plain bad luck.

You can buy that kind of bad luck.

Hire somebody to...

Why don't you fight me clean for a change, here and now?!

He always has what he wants!

I thought I smelt the aroma of chips on shoulders.

He'll do anything to get his way.

You know the type, don't you?

When he was born, they didn't slap him into life, you know.

They waved a checkbook under his nose.

That's what made him breathe.

The invitation's still open to the rest of you.

Wide open.

I wonder if you'd be awfully kind and tell Lee.

Yes, of course.

Thank you very much.

You look like you'd be extremely useful

when things get stormy which they tend to at Beau's parties.

Well, hello.

Well, hello.

Do you know this man?

Yes, of course.

Now, what could be less intriguing than spending

an evening with a man you already know.

Try me.

I'll be glad to drop your name, when I know it.

Kate.

Kate.

A happy omen.

Some of my best friends are shrews.

Tamed none.

That leaves us.

Yes, alone at last.

I drop a name, mine, Amanda.

Mandy for short.

I'll drop mine, Sebastian.

I'm afraid it doesn't abbreviate conveniently.

I shall call you sir.

Why so formal?

I can think of nothing more suitable

for someone so masterful.

I'd ask you to dance, but you don't want to.

That's right, sir.

So, what is your pleasure?

Listening on to a crowded party from an uncrowded room.

Yes, I suffer from claustrophobia too.

This way, sir.

Hi.

So I am.

And madam wins tonight's star prize.

How would you like to hear about my fuel injection system?

Now, sir.

What say you, we take your mind off your work.

Oh, and just how do you manage to deduce

that I am earning an honest crust here?

Dear sir.

It's excruciatingly obvious.

Do tell.

One, Oscar, the mad inventor, has had a lousy

run of luck lately.

Two, he's not the sort to accept it as misfortune.

So, three, he hires you to investigate.

What are you, sir?

Some sort of private eye?

And both of them so beautifully blue.

Sealed lips too.

Just as lovely.

Where was I?

You were about to approach square four.

Nothing's square about me.

That, too, is excruciatingly obvious.

Your motive's no secret, sir, she said.

You're checking up on my big brother.

Oh, Beau doesn't know.

He's a trusting as a credit card is my big brother Beau,

but I know,

and I'm here to tell you amongst other things

you're wasting your gorgeous time.

If villain there be, Beau is not he.

Nice rhyme, now add some reason.

Oh, Beau's had everything he wanted

from the day he was born, sure.

We were both spoiled like a glut of plums,

but never, never has Beau played anything

but fair in motor racing.

The issue, touchingly loyal sister,

is not the winning of races,

but the acquisition of a certain auto accessory.

That played out plastic stirrup pump Oscar's

got under his bonnet.

Oh, come on.

Beau only wanted to buy it to help him.

He likes the old bore, thinks he's a character.

We are all characters.

Beau's a particularly good one.

I'd do anything to spare him hurt or worry.

Anything?

Not this time, I'm afraid.

My mind is still on work.

Well, well, you must be a saint.

And I say it's up to you, a well brought up girl

can do no more without being considered forward.

I'm afraid our acquaintanceship cannot possibly

ripen until I get to the...

Oh!

Bottom of the matter.

Besides, I promised to stop in and see Oscar

on the way home.

He is checking the car I'm testing tomorrow.

Well, the car is in tiptop condition,

better lubricated than I am myself.

Thanks for staying back late.

It's always a pleasure.

Will you have a drink?

No thanks.

I'll celebrate with you properly when you win.

Good night.

Good night.

Thanks again.

Hey you!

Simon don't!

I've done some underhanded things in my time.

I'm sure you have.

Well, I never hired somebody to set fire

to a place and leave a man to die.

But you didn't die.

Maybe it'd be just as well if I had.

I was a failure as a racing driver,

and I'm obviously going to be a failure as a manufacturer.

Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself, Oscar.

I'm still driving that car this morning.

So, you're not a failure yet.

But I am.

I am desperately in need of money, Mr. Toombs.

Somebody has bought up all my IOUs totaling 6,000 pounds.

You can bet your life they didn't pay anything

like that for them.

Oh, I bet my creditor is jumped at the chance

of getting any percentage of what I owe.

I mean who expects to be paid back by Oscar the jinx?

I don't believe in jinxes.

Okay, if you can possibly see your way of letting

me have that 6,000 pounds now,

I still have a couple of days in which to payoff

that young swine that's hounding me.

Stop him from bankrupting me, and taking over the patent.

Will you make me the loan, please?

Sure, I'll lend you the money, Oscar.

But only if that fuel system of yours

is all you say it is.

That we'll know after a successful test run today.

You'll have it.

You'll see.

I'd like somebody else to see it today too.

Who?

The man you think is behind all your troubles.

From accountancy to arson.

Beaumont Ellington.

Good morning.

We're innocent.

I fired a butler last night, but not a barn, sorry.

The investigation's over.

Anyway, it was only an excuse, wasn't it?

You really came to see me.

You'll keep.

Thanks to constant exercise.

Do you mind if I run on the spot?

Where we live, it's nice to spend

energy staying in one place.

I'm testing Oscar's car today.

Are you?

Very interesting.

A driver, are you?

Then, you've gotta be fit.

Oh, think what he could do stripped.

What's your interest in this car?

Fair play.

What's yours?

I like to see a jinx broken.

One of you has got to say,

if you'll play ball with me, I'll play ball with you.

Why don't you come and see the test today?

I will.

Is Oscar all right?

Cooled off.

My cue for a shower.

It's rather fun being a suspect, Mr. Toombs.

The suspect, Mr. Ellington.

Even more fun.

But honestly and truly, my real current interest

is not on wheels, it's Kate.

Now, I really would do anything to get to know her.

Romance, Mr. Toombs

that's my preoccupation.

What's yours?

Blimey.

Can hardly believe it.

Who'd wanna do a terrible thing like that, eh?

Beau Ellington.

But he didn't get away with it.

And we'll show him he didn't get away with it

on the circuit track today, eh Hunter?

You bet.

Okay, you take the car on the low road,

and I'll follow soon.

It's going like a bomb.

Come on.

Are you all right, Mr. Toombs?

You murderous...

You lunatic, you!

That's enough, I'm fed up with your crazy accusations.

Hold it, we'll never find out the truth this way.

The truth's the same any way you look at it.

He's as mad as a hatter, as well as being a jinx.

You nearly killed yourself.

Correction, somebody nearly killed me,

and my money's on the one who had

the chance to clobber the brakes

and the steering on the way here.

Hunter?

Yes, that fine mechanic.

That fine, well-paid mechanic.

You have no right to imply that.

Imply nothing.

And Hunter will be shouting it loud and clear

when I get my hands on him.

Lee?

Who did it?

Hunter.

I never saw so much panic on a man's face

when he saw you walk away from that spill.

I tried to stop him, but he got away.

How long have I been KO'd?

Long enough.

Well, that's that.

I guess you've lost interest in us now.

How could I lose interest in a character

as fascinating and as potentially informative as Hunter.

I'm gonna be with you when you catch him.

It's time I took active steps to protect my investment.

He just upped and left.

Packed his suitcase and left.

About 10 minutes ago.

Didn't even pay his rent.

Well, I shall be renting the room

for the next few minutes,

if that's all right with you?

Oh.

Enough here for a deposit on the whole house.

I'll let you know if I'm successful

in raising a mortgage.

What's Mr. Hunter done?

He's suspected of a motoring offense.

Thank you, goodbye.

Magazines, paperbacks, stuff like that.

It might tell us something.

Well, go ahead Lee.

It's not his taste in light reading that interests me.

Only his taste for money.

Maybe there's a secret panel.

History of the automobile volume one.

The story of a bribe, in two parts.

Look at this.

Two bank note wrappers, each contained 100 pounds,

rather impatiently torn

with the bank and branch address stamped on them.

Could've been there for ages.

That's not a very complimentary thing

to say about the charming lady who just left.

I prefer to think that she empties

the wastepaper baskets daily.

So, now we smile confidently all the way to the bank.

If Beau Ellington's got an account there--

I'm not gonna waste your time and talents

on a routine visit to the bank.

Already searched that drawer.

No, I'll look after that, meanwhile, you'll

check amongst Hunter's friends.

Mechanics, track hangers-on, anybody who

can give you a lead to his whereabouts.

Okay.

But if I was on the run, I'd avoid my usual haunts.

That's very good thinking.

Now, you follow any line you like,

as long as he is at the end of it.

Right.

Yes, sir.

Good morning.

I understand a friend of mine has several accounts here.

Mr. Beaumont Ellington?

He recommended me to come.

Oh yes, sir.

How very kind of Mr. Ellington.

Would you like to see the manager?

No, thank you.

May I open an account for you then?

No, thank you.

Well, what are you here for then?

Just to see whether Beau was right,

and he is.

It's a very pretty bank.

Good morning.

If jazz gets any cooler, they're going to have

to play it on hi-fi deep freezers that's

what I always say on such occasions.

What do you always say?

I always say what are you doing here?

Have you seen the Taj Mahal?

Why, have you mislaid it?

What do you think of it?

That classic shrine.

That glittering temple.

Your opinion's really worth having.

The expert opinion of the world's most renowned Templar.

Full marks for detection.

How go your inquiries?

As well as can be expected.

Taking the evening off?

Let's see what develops.

Sit down and see what develops.

I haven't been offered a drink yet.

Oh, what'll you have?

Whatever you're having.

How do you like it mixed?

To match my mood at the moment,

neither shaken nor stirred.

You disappoint me, Simon.

I've heard in all the gay capitals of the world

when it came to romance,

the saint ain't faint.

Oh dear.

All right.

As they say in all the best ads,

this is a free trial with no obligations.

There, you've got it made.

A little too tart for my taste.

I don't take that from any man.

Well, you're taking it, darling, so relax

and enjoy the novelty.

So, this is what it's like to be Simonized.

Okay, Mandy you know who I am,

and you know that I suspect your brother

as the cause of Oscar's spectacular bad luck.

Do you also know that I won't stop investigating

at this stage because of you.

It was worth another try.

Sorry, Mandy.

I'm not that easily swayed.

I'm sorry, too.

Time I was smacked again.

Business before pleasure.

It's time you told the truth.

No.

Why not?

It is why you're here.

I've changed my mind.

Then, pretend your mind's a dress and change it again.

Now, tell me the truth.

No.

You suspect Beau.

Beau and I are two sides of the same coin.

He could be guilty.

It is just possible,

and I'm worried sick about it.

Well, as character analysis that's fascinating.

Now, tell me what really bothers you.

Simon,

till a few months ago,

Hunter was Beau's racing mechanic.

They had a row and Beau fired him.

Everybody knew about it, including Oscar.

Who hates Beau so much, naturally, he gave Hunter a job.

And maybe that's the way Beau wanted it.

The whole thing a routine to get Hunter in with Oscar

as Beau's fifth column.

Any idea where Hunter's hiding out?

There's only one place I can think of,

he's got a small bungalow.

Where?

Surrey.

Somewhere in Surrey.

It's about time you got here.

It's a bundle of money I want,

all I got is a bundle of nerves.

There.

Looks like Mr. Hunter's at home.

Especially to me.

You stay here.

I told you to stay in the car.

I heard shots.

You're better off than Hunter.

He's dead.

He was waiting for his payoff and it came

from a bullet instead of a wallet.

What are you going to do now?

Get out of here.

Well, what are we going to do?

See if our suspect has any guts?

How?

Force him into the open on the circuit.

I repeat, how?

Buy a racing car.

We do what?

Buy a racing car, have it delivered to the yard,

and listen to Oscar give vent to history's

most perplexed outburst of apoplexy.

Why?

Why, haven't I enough trouble with one car?

Ah, but Oscar with two cars in the same race

you'll give the opposition more trouble

than they can handle.

I thought I had a pretty devious mind,

but this I don't get.

I begin to.

It's very simple.

All right then, somebody explain.

Oscar, your rival's tried everything.

Legal technicalities, sabotage, arson,

he's attempted to kill you,

he did kill Hunter.

So, there's only one place left he can have a crack at you.

That's on the circuit during the race.

He'll do his damnedest to cause a crash.

But with two cars to deal with.

Both fitted with the fuel system.

He'll have his time cut out to cut you out, Oscar.

Oh, he can knock one car out of the race,

but the other one stands more than an even chance

of crossing the winning line.

Boy, what would I give to drive one of those cars.

Boy, you're no longer a boy.

You'll drive it without any experience?

You must be mad.

Oscar, if you cast your mind back when we first

met I said I was mad about motor racing.

I'm mad enough to have a crack at it.

The cars are coming forward

onto the tape for the big race of the day.

We're all very interested to see Oscar Newley

and his fuel injection system.

At the last minute, he entered a second car driven

by a newcomer to the circuit, Sebastian Toombs.

Beau Ellington, who did so well in practice yesterday,

is expected to make a good time today.

10 seconds to go.

All eyes on Sebastian Toombs and Lee Leonard.

Good start.

Everyone's away.

And going into the low righthander, it's Sebastian Toombs

just ahead of Beau Ellington.

We're nearly halfway through,

and so far no one's dropped out.

And it's a wonderful display of driving from the leaders,

Toombs and Ellington.

Toombs only two seconds ahead of Ellington.

Some very fast times have been made today.

Lee Leonard has closed up to the leaders.

Toombs is driving brilliantly.

The others just can't catch him.

Leonard has passed Ellington,

and seems to be challenging is own teammate.

Leonard and Toombs into the straight.

I can't understand it.

Leonard is taking the most dangerous chances

to get passed his own teammate.

Leonard is parallel with Toombs.

He won't overtake him.

They're dangerously close.

Why doesn't he get out the way?

This could cause a serious accident.

Leonard just went mad.

Lee, the last person I'd suspect.

Money in my company.

You wanted a clean fight with Beau.

Look, it's going on out there.

It's between Toombs and Ellington now,

and there's nothing in it.

Oh Lord, I don't know who to cheer for,

I love them both!

Toombs just in the lead

as they go into the last lap.

Coming up to the last straight,

and it's very close.

Sebastian Toombs takes the flag less than

a second ahead of Ellington.

What a wonderful race.

Two superb drivers in the closest

race I think I've ever seen.

At this point, the girl usually says,

but what I don't understand, Perry, is how you knew

it was Lee all the time.

Well, at this point, I say I didn't.

But you seemed to be ready for him on the circuit.

Kate, I had to be ready for anything on that circuit.

What are you ready for, a dry martini?

Can we have a couple of scotch and a dry martini, please?

You know what I can't get over is Lee being the culprit.

I thought you'd been around long enough

to grow accustomed to the perfidy of human nature, Oscar.

Yes, but we were partners, you know,

he had money invested in me.

The perfect cover for someone who set out to destroy

you from the start.

And after he'd bankrupted you, and acquired the patent.

A couple of good wins would've wiped out

the previous failures.

Then, they'd put it down to me being the jinx.

Neat, but it didn't work.

No, but the system does.

However, Mr. Toombs, if you're satisfied we--

The check.

Uh-huh.

I have it here all made out,

all it requires is my signature.

Cheers.

Here we are.

Thank you very much.

But this is made payable to Cabot and Marshall.

That's right.

After all, it was Miss Marshall's father

who invented the system, wasn't it?

Signed Simon Templar, the saint.

That's me, jinxed to the end.

Well, not necessarily, I'm sure that Miss Marshall

will give you a job if you ask her nicely.

Head of sales department, perhaps.

Ideal job for a man of my talents.

Miss Marshall.

Where is she?

Otherwise engaged.

And so am I.

Hello.