The Saint (1962–1969): Season 3, Episode 13 - The Damsel in Distress - full transcript
The Saint is approached by Italian restaurateur Domenick Naccaro and his family. Domenick's daughter Maria has had a baby by a fraudster called Rolfieri, who promised to marry her but fled the country back to Italy having embezzled vast sums of money. The Saint follows him to Florence along with Maria's brother Allessandro, and, under an alias, takes a job with him. Before long, however, the Saint's cover is blown and he finds himself - not for the first time - in a very perilous position, in a car with cut brakes hurtling down a hillside. He must escape if he is to help the damsel in distress.
You might sound a bit
more enthusiastic when I command you to
cook your meal.
That's gratitude for you.
What are you thinking?
You think it's boiling if--
Next time you cook the meal.
If the coffee is anything
like the rest of the meal in which
she slaved with a can opener for five minutes,
still, she's a darling girl.
Even though cooking is not her
strong point, the night is young.
I am Domenick Naccaro.
May I come in?
You already are in, Mr. Naccaro,
The best Italian restaurant in London.
Yes, well I've already had dinner, Mr. Naccaro.
What can I do for you?
This is my daughter, Maria.
I am her father.
This is my granddaughter.
She has no father.
You are the only one who can save
the honor of the Naccaro family.
What do you mean, save the honor
of the Naccaro family?
Senorita, for an Italian family to have a baby
with no Papa is a terrible thing.
Well, it's not exactly recommended
for English families either.
The name is Simon Templar.
So, you see, Mr. Templar
about a year ago, Papa and I,
we had a big fight.
She said I was too strict.
So you are.
So, I got a job and left home.
We didn't speak for a whole year.
She's very hotblooded, my Maria.
Yes, I can see that.
So for a whole year, Maria and me,
don't speak a word, but all that time
A country man is seeing her and presto.
He did ask me to marry him.
Ask, now I am a grandfather with no son-in-law.
Yes, but who is this countryman?
His name is Guiseppe Rolfieri.
The Apex buildings designer?
One and the same skunk.
Well, why don't you go to see him?
We tried but he's gone abroad.
Doesn't his office have a forwarding address?
You mean the Rolfieri has just vanished
into thin air?
And without marrying Maria.
Mr. Naccaro, are you sure about this?
Signore, you doubt my word?
Have you been to the police?
Police, they will not look for him.
What do they care what happened to my Maria?
What do you want me to do?
Find him, Signore, find him.
I'm not so sure.
If it's money, I will pay.
Yes, but he's an Italian.
He could have gone back to Italy.
To Rome, Naples, anywhere.
I think the same.
Papa's been in touch with a cousin in Florence.
Yes, in Florence, in Milan, in Geneva.
We have family all over Italy, Signore.
In 24 hours, we will know if he's there.
Well, why don't you speak
to your cousins and then we'll
That will be tomorrow.
You will come to the Tortrina Naccaro,
I will make cannelloni and we will make plans.
Oh, good morning.
Sorry, sir, no one allowed in.
And where is everybody?
Investigation, four squads in there now.
Looks like a big one, sir.
Who's in charge?
Chief inspector, Teal, sir.
You're quite right, it will be long.
All right, let's see that one.
Apparently wealthy or he had accounts
in several banks, Inspector.
What are you doing here?
I believe congratulations are in order, Claudia says.
The fraud squad, did the yard boot you out
or is it really a promotion?
I'm in no mood to swap
funny talk with you, Simon.
What do you want?
I have an appointment.
Here, with whom?
Look here, Simon, if you came here
to see Guiseppe Rolfieri, I've a right
to know what about.
Because there'll be a warrant out
for his arrest in the next few hours.
And another one for you if you
withhold any information.
Oh, my goodness.
Mr. Rolfieri really has upset you.
What's he done?
There's nothing amusing about grand larceny.
There's nothing amusing about criminal assault
Surely you exaggerate.
What do you call a million pounds?
A lot of money.
And belonging to thousands of small investors.
So, thank Heavens not a penny of it was mine.
You mean you're not an unfortunate investor?
Sorry to disappoint you, Claude.
And you've never even met Rolfieri?
Not yet, but I will.
That's if you find him.
Ah, Cherchez la femme, a female accomplice.
Barbara Astral, she was posing
as his secretary.
She's English, she's an Italian national.
Huh, well it could make things very
tough for you if he got back to his own country.
You couldn't extradite him.
I don't need you to tell me about the law.
I'm only trying to help.
Because you have a nice face, gentleman.
Take my advice and forget about Rolfieri.
That shouldn't be difficult.
I can't promise anything about
the million pounds though.
Here we are, spaghetti a la Naccaro.
A very good choice.
Signora Williams, your lasagna, it was all right, huh?
So glad you enjoyed it.
Signore Templar, so good to see you.
Come this way, please.
I have prepared the most delicious cannelloni.
I'm sure you're going to enjoy it.
What did you find out?
Only that in a few hours
half the police in Europe will be
looking for your Mr. Rolfieri.
Say, what did I tell you, huh?
What you didn't tell me was that he
embezzled a million pounds.
A million, mama mia.
A million pounds is of no concern to us.
What he has done to Maria
is far worse.
Papa is right.
Excuse me, Signore Templar.
This is my son, Allessandro.
How do you do?
Won't you join us?
Tell him, papa.
Papa has a wonderful idea.
Yes, it is.
But first you must agree to help.
He said that we should go after him.
Do you know where he is?
Yes, in Florence.
= A cousin, doctor Guido Naccaro,
he telephoned from Florence to say
that he was living there.
So you and Allessandro will go to Florence
and bring him back here,
to marry my Maria.
You want your daughter to marry a crook?
That bambina, Signore, she must have
the father's name.
But how do we get him back here?
Ah, that's where you come in.
You must, ?
Kidnap him. Kidnap?
name how do we get him back here that's
That's pretty wild.
All right, supposing Allessandro and I,
we do go to Florence, and somehow
or other we kidnap Rolfieri and bring him
back here, then what?
He marry Maria.
Then we kill him.
Barbara, don't start pacing again, eh.
Why not, I've been stuck in this
mausoleum for 10 days.
Watching you swilling scotch all day,
I'm trying to grow a beard.
Nobody asked you to come.
What did you expect me to do?
Sit around London waiting to be arrested?
Two people are easier to trace than one.
You should have thought of that
when we planned the whole thing.
Oh shut up, Barbara.
You've never lived like this in your life.
And take away the empty bottle.
And change your jacket, it's dirty.
Do we have to employ an ape like that?
What do you want me to do, drag people
in from the street?
I've advertised for staff.
Now for gods sake, shut up.
And stop complaining, eh.
Look, Giuseppe, all I want is my share
of the money.
Darling, we are partners, huh.
But you are the silent one.
I know what I'm doing.
I'm glad somebody does.
I am responsible for the million pounds,
don't forget that.
We are responsible.
Don't you forget that.
Now what's this cousin of yours
a doctor of?
Oh, he's not really a medical doctor.
He just likes to be called Doctor.
Signora, there you are, good boy, Lorenzo.
There you are, Signora.
Oh, Lorenzo, at last.
You cone home with your mama.
Don't forget, Signora, your Lorenzo,
he's allergic to strawberries.
Grazie, buon giorno.
Oh, you've put on weight.
Ah, it's good to see you.
This is the famous, Simon Templar.
Ah, Signore Templar, .
Uncle Domenick wrote you were coming.
I welcome you to Florence
with all of my heart.
Now, Guido, what's the latest on Rolfieri?
Rolfieri, he change his name now to Roponi.
He buy a house on the other side of town
called the villa Di Miro.
You see, I told you we'd have
everything lined up.
Now, if Rolfieri had gone to Bologna, to Geneva,
to Valencia, the result would have been
exactly the same.
The Naccaro family is everywhere.
You have your own sort of private mafia.
Now, Guido, what else?
Well, he live in this house, sir,
with a girl, very nice.
And every day he make advertisement
in paper for chauffeur.
Every paper in Florence.
Well, me, I cannot go.
I cannot leave my dogs.
Of course, Rolfieri knows me
from the restaurant.
Signora Roponi? Yes?
The chauffeur's position you advertised.
Perhaps I am the man you want.
There's no doubt about it.
Grazie, Signora, I have the references
from La Contessa Di Talli.
The job, my friend, is all yours.
It's the new chauffeur.
Have everything you need?
Good, I'm sorry the room
is so small, but, I'm sure
you'll be comfortable.
Si, Signora, most comfortable.
Do you know Florence well?
Like the back of my palm.
Your English is very good.
I wish I could say the same for my Italian.
It would be my pleasure to teach you.
Certainly, I'm yours to command.
What a charming thought.
What's Italian, for may I have the pleasure
of this dance?
May I have the pleasure of this dance?
Barbara, what are you doing?
I have to go shopping tomorrow, 2:00.
Why the interest in the new chauffeur?
Possibly because he's human.
There's to be no fooling around.
You understand, I won't have you stepping
out of line?
Mind your own business.
It is my business, one million pounds worth.
We're supposed to be respectable people.
Signore and Signora Roponi.
There will be no gossip.
It won't last forever.
No, it's too late.
Half the police in Europe are looking for us.
We'll lie low for a month.
Then a quick trip to Zurich.
We collect the cash.
Another month with you.
Give me some air.
Barbara, after that, as far as I'm concerned,
you can go to Borneo.
As a constant companion,
give me a companion anytime.
Ciao, how did it go?
Well, you don't think I got this
on the side of the road, do you?
I didn't even have to take a driving test.
It was that letter of reference, from
La Contessa Di Talli that did it.
I always write the best.
You can say that again.
What is the setup at the house?
There's Rolfieri, a muscle man named Arthur.
I can handle him.
And the girl, I've got other plans for her.
Now this is what we're going to do.
Rolfieri drinks like a fish,
from sunup to sundown.
So we'll slip a little something in his whiskey,
something like Chloral hydrate.
Can you get any?
Two drops from this will put a dog to sleep
for 10 hours.
We give Rolfieri four.
Good, I also want an airplane.
Yeah, we tie him up and fly him
back to England.
Hey, we have a fifth cousin by marriage,
who is an airplane flying instructor.
Wesley at the Flying Cup on Dibona Road.
Ah, I forget.
You forget what?
We not speaking.
Well then, make up, apologize, be friends.
This airplane, when you want it?
All right, you have.
Good, and the dope.
Oh, I have to buy in the chemist shop tomorrow morning, huh.
Good, you give it to Allessandro, we'll meet
tomorrow afternoon between 2:00 and 4:00,
outside the Banco Toscano on the Via Reperti.
Papa will be so happy.
But will Maria?
Hey Precious, when you're done with that one,
Did you hear?
I said, wash my car.
Well you're going to do it, right?
Make a good job of it.
You shouldn't have done that.
Now I've got to wash it all again.
Hey, how do you...
What a ridiculous way to wash.
I'm ready, Sebastian.
That ne chauffeur of yours, Sebastian.
He's no chauffeur.
What do you mean?
What did I say?
He has the finest references from the Countess Di--
I don't care what he's got.
He's no chauffeur.
No chauffeur's ever knocked me around like this.
Eh, maybe you better keep an eye on him
and see what he's up to.
It would be a pleasure.
You ever been in Florence before, Signora?
And never again.
Oh, it's bellissimo, you get it?
Guido's uncle works in the chemist shop.
Just four drops and he's right out.
Standing by from 10:00 tonight.
I'll see you later then.
Maria and the wedding bells.
Guess, I've never held a shotgun before,
it'll be quite a change.
What is this?
I'm just a tourist.
What do you want, money?
The name first.
John, John Smith.
In my hotel room.
I said, passport.
Do you have to be so formal?
Signora, I'm only your chauffeur.
You might get sudden promotion.
Would you like that?
Grazie, Signora, I am, ,
Well, that makes two of us.
So, the name's Barbara, okay?
I'm in no particular hurry to get back
to Bleak House.
Drive me somewhere.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Sebastian, are you married?
Any emotional involvements?
Well, rather soon now I expect
to come into a great deal of money.
Tell me more about this fortune of yours.
Well, and old aunt of mine has just died
and left me the entire estate.
It's just matter of probating the will.
How much do you think you will get?
After death duties, about half a million.
Half a million?
You're not impressed?
I think you're just as greedy as I am.
You just don't want to admit it.
Half a million is a great deal of money.
You can buy an awful lot of happiness
if you know how to spend it.
And I can buy anything I want.
Don't make it sound very romantic.
The romance can come later.
I like to settle the practical details first.
So do I.
When do you expect to come into this fortune?
So you have never employed a chauffeur called Sebastian?
No, no, thank you, Count Di Talli.
I am sorry to have troubled you.
Where the hell have you been?
Look, I've had enough trouble for today,
you talk to me nice or else I'm gonna quit.
And what happened to you?
Did you follow them?
Sebastian met a friend.
A man who calls himself John Smith,
but his real name is Naccaro.
Allessandro Naccaro, Domenick's son.
So Sebastian was planted.
You mean he's a copper?
If he is, he will regret the day he enlisted.
(One whole month, it is impossible.
I had no idea you were so impatient.
You're a very beautiful girl.
And very considerate.
No passport, nothing.
He's too smart to be a copper.
I tell you, he's a plant.
He's got to be.
The Di Talli family never heard of him.
You think he's in the bed?
No, it's too early.
Let's say my room in an hour and a half.
By your description, it must be Rolfieri's men.
Once Rolfieri knows my name is Naccaro--
Yes, and finds out you know his chauffeur as well.
Yes, and perhaps the Saint is finished too.
Guido, we must do something.
Yes, let's go and eat.
No, aren't we men of courage?
Aren't you hungry?
La villa Di Miro.
The Saint might need us, he might be
in terrible danger, come on.
Oh, all right.
Turn on the lights.
Who are you, who sent you, Naccaro?
Don't you know?
That was foolish.
Whatever your game is, you know too much.
About a million pounds worth?
You just signed your death certificate.
If only we are not too late.
But that was Rolfieri's car.
And in the front seat?
I saw, the Saint.
We took the wrong fork.
Si, si, si, I turn around.
The brakes, make it look like an accident.
Just to show there's no ill feeling.
A great man.
So kind, so generous.
And so courageous.
Everything is lost.
The honor of the family, everything.
Well, Guido, the Saint is dead,
we cannot sit around here all night.
But you're dead.
I managed to get out of the car
before it hit the tree.
An act of God.
What do we do now?
Do we carry on?
Of course we do.
We head for the Villa Di Milo.
It's only half past 10 and we've got an airplane waiting.
Barbara, come down here.
That was good work tonight, Arthur,
you will be well paid.
Put the car away and go to bed.
What's all the fighting about?
Your friend, Sebastian, is a plant.
A spy working for Naccaro in London.
You're out of your mind.
I told you not to step out of line.
Where were you all afternoon?
We went for a drive.
What did you tell him?
You decide you want this man
and you nearly wreck everything.
Where is he?
What have you done to him?
And from now on, you stay put.
You don't go out and you don't meet anyone.
When the time comes, we split the money,
then you can do what you like.
Now go to your room and don't bother me.
Well, you better put sleeping beauty in the car.
Come on, up, you big dog, come on.
Get him in the car so I can collect the money.
You're a regular glutton for punishment, aren't you?
Sebastian kidnapped the governor.
They mustn't get him out of the country.
Keep going, straight ahead.
Maria, Maria, we've done it.
Our son-in-law don't look so good, eh?
He'll be all right in a couple of hours.
Here, dump him here until he comes around.
All right, easy with him.
Don't want to lose him after we've brought
him this far.
Signor Templar, how can I thank you?
I promise you that for the rest of your life
you eat free at the Tortrina Naccaro as my guest.
Thank you, Domenick.
Well, Maria, you all set for the wedding?
When is it to be?
First we clean him up, get him ready,
two o'clock this afternoon.
What about your customers?
Oh, the restaurant is closed for the day.
I'll go home, have a shower, shave, change my clothes,
and I'll be back in time for, who knows,
I may even be best man.
Signor, first you have a cup of coffee, eh?
No thanks, I'd hate to spoil my appetite
before the wedding cake.
Oh, you're such a brave friend, always ready
to help people in trouble.
I think maybe he's got a suspicion, eh?
Yes, we better not take any chances.
Get some ice water, Maria,
we'll bring Rolfieri around.
Welcome back to London.
So, How do you feel, Signore?
Domenick, I don't understand.
Ah, it's a long story.
Why am I tied, what do you want?
The money you embezzled from the building society.
Oh, we're not greedy, Signore.
We want half.
Oh no, it's simple, you pay us
and you are free, free as a pigeon
to return to Italy where no one can harm you.
Then we will have to hand you over
to the police.
They will be very interested to say hello
and maybe goodbye for 10 or 15 years.
I have no money in England.
Where then, Switzerland?
In a nice safe deposit box?
With your own personal number?
Perhaps we try a little gentle persuasion.
But you cannot--
And who would you complain to, the police?
Oh no, signore Rolfieri's like myself,
he's a business man.
I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.
If I make a deal, what then?
Ah, we brought you here from Italy,
we will find some way of getting you back there,
say, for half a million pounds.
I give you 250,000 pounds.
Half a million.
I haven't got any more!
The name of the bank.
The number of the safety deposit box.
I can't remember.
I wrote it down in Florence,
I can't remember, I tell you.
Can I be of assistance?
And how is the happy bride-groom?
He's being a little stubborn.
What a shame.
You're such a charming family.
What are you going to do with me?
Try me, see if I laugh.
But we are friends.
And you'd hate to hurt me.
Oh, with all my heart.
That wasn't very friendly, was it?
You just ruined a beautiful friendship.
I think you'd better drop that hatchet, Mr. Naccaro.
Claude, just in time.
You stand to finish you, Templar.
Kidnapping is a capital offense.
Your abduction was reported by the Italian police,
That's what the Italian police didn't report,
was it these fine public spirited citizens
have assisted me in bringing a dangerous
criminal to justice, Guiseppe Rolfieri.
What are you talking about?
Oh, of course, I forgot,
you haven't met, have you?
This is Guiseppe Rolfieri, Chief Inspector Teal of the yard.
You mean to tell me that none of you
had any ulterior in bringing him back?
Why, Claude, Mr. Naccaro here is one of the most
upstanding men in London, apart from
being one of the finest restaurateurs.
I might settle for your story if I knew
a little more about the million pounds.
Ah, well, that's deposited in a number account
in Zurich Bank.
And I can't remember the number.
Well, maybe I can help you out.
You see, you're a very methodical man,
While going through your papers in your villa
in France, I came across this.
Ah, it's rude to snatch.
Take him away.
All right, Simon, for the moment,
I'll have to buy your story.
Thank you, Claude.
Oh, there is--
Yes, I'll see you get the reward.
You, you double-crossed us.
You must be mad.
You had a million pounds in your hand
and you gave it away.
And to the police.
But how did you suspect we were
planning to squeeze Rolfieri?
It was quite a brilliant scheme
apart from a few little mistakes you made
along the way.
The kiss I saw you giving Maria a little while ago.
That was most unbrotherly.
That is right.
I am her husband.
Yes, he is the baby's papa.
But why didn't you tell the police the truth.
Well, I'd hate to tell the police the truth
unless it's absolutely necessary.
Apart from that, I haven't tasted your cannelloni yet.
Maria, Allessandro, .
For our brave, Simon Templar, a grand feast.