The Royals (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Doubt Truth to Be a Liar - full transcript

Previously, on The Royals...

- Maybe I find you...
- Pathetic.

Attractive.

I want you to be devoted
to my well-being full-time.

- You wanna get out of here?
- Absolutely.

You have an opportunity
to inspire us.

Maybe the answer
isn't walking away.

Maybe you should try and
change it from the inside.

Yesterday, when you
found me in an alley...

I didn't find you in an alley.
I found you in the park.

This was hanging around my neck
the night before the King was killed.



- What does it mean?
- We figure this out,

we figure out who's been
killing my family.

And then we make them pay.

I hope I didn't keep
you waiting.

I'd wait a lifetime for you.

It's nothing personal,
Captain Lacey.

You tell me what you did!

He's dead.

Are you holding?
Come on, hook a girl up.

I can't help you, okay?

Ouch! Feisty princess.

- What is this?
- An early birthday present.

Oh, my...

You and diamonds,
like gin and tonic,



are destined for each other.

So, what's your poison?

Drugs? Booze? Boys?

- Yes!
- Okay, I hear that.

- I'm Len.
- Mandy.

I was happy
when I saw you in my bed.

You fell in love with her.
You know how I know?

You had her in your pocket,
and you didn't follow through.

Don't worry because we're
stealing that diamond

and getting the hell
out of here.

Together.

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Come on, let it go

♪ Just let it be ♪

Ha ha ha! I think we broke
James on the ride back,

probably about after the
ninth repeat in a row.

Trust me,
James has seen far worse,

like, that time he was being
personally tortured

by Saddam Hussein in Kuwait,

or wherever the hell that was.

Not even close.
Night, ladies.

You are going to look so banging

for the party tomorrow night.

I mean, all this plus your
gran's earrings?

Damn, girl. Come with me.

You have to.
You're the birthday girl,

you get what you want.

Have them set it in the
necklace and voila.

But it's not even mine.
It belongs to the people.

Trust me, the people want
their princess

to wear it for her birthday.

It's just not as pretty
behind glass.

It needs to be let out
and taste freedom once in a while.

I'm sure they would rather see it
on you than your uncle.

Are you sure
it's not too much, though?

I mean, our birthdays are
always just a reason

for my mother to throw
a hoity-toity gala.

They're never even about us.

Was that supposed to be
a reason for not wearing it?

You deserve to be the center
of attention on a normal day.

Your birthday? No-brainer.

Another one in that corner.

Congratulations are in order,
Your Majesty.

Your Succession Bill quietly
passed late last night

with barely the margin
we needed.

And with Moorefield ready

to declare the princesses unfit
the moment Cyrus dies,

you are a heartbeat away

from becoming the reigning
monarch of Great Britain.

And, with Lucius and Cyrus
dominating the headlines,

people won't even notice
the succession has changed.

That is to say, no one knows.

It's nice when all your
hard work pays off.

Wouldn't you say, Your Majesty?

Your Majesty?

Clear my schedule.
And give me your car keys.

What of the gala
for the twins tonight?

They deserve their own day.

So do I.

Happy Birthday!

- I'm hit.
- Not in the face!

Please! Have mercy.

The pain! The pain!

- You guys are so weird.
- Help.

- How did you know?
- It's not a dorm room.

It's a palace.
I have security.

Is the Queen's high society
birthday party

- still in effect tonight?
- The guest list is ancient.

It's alright. Some of those
old timers can party.

Any royal cougars?

Is that...?

The Crown Jeweler will set
it in the necklace for me!

But I talked him into five
minutes with it

so that I could
"plan my outfit."

- Gimme, gimme!
- Sshh!

There are two guards out
there for this thing

who would flip if they knew
someone else had their mitts on it.

Of course. Rachel says my
mother's not even coming.

We should just cancel.

I mean, our birthdays have
always been more about her

and her old boring friends
than us, anyway.

Just some lame excuse
for a gala,

each year more boring
than the last.

Even when you guys were kids?

Not even one special birthday?

Once. It was our ninth.

The Queen was away on some
official trip to Toronto,

so my dad threw us, like,
a real kids' birthday party.

Carnival games, the whole
deal. We had dodgems, even!

I'm sorry, what-ems?

Dodgems! The little cars you
smash into each other with.

Ohhh... bumper cars.

Sure.
And he had this cake made

that we had to jump out of.

Hold this.

I gotta go.

You're a model
who blew off her gig.

Where could you possibly
have to be?

Well, it may or may not have
to do with your birthday.

Which is not being canceled,
by the way.

Just trust me.

Okay.

I told you I'd be happy to help.

And I told you I don't like pity.

But thank you. I've got it.

Ugh! Mother's milk!

Will you be well enough
for the gala tonight?

What gala?

- For the twins' birthday.
- As if.

How is it those bastards'
birthday again?

Because it's on the same day
each year.

And it's been a year since
the last one.

I don't know how many days
I have left on this earth,

but I know I won't waste them
celebrating those little shits.

What do you want to do, then?

High time I took my
girlfriend on a proper date.

Enchanting.

And where shall we go?

Have you ever been to the opera?

♪ The cloud I'm living under

♪ When I go there, will I find
my sense of wonder?

♪ Open up the gates

Helena.

We need to talk.

Hey.

Eleanor.

You still work here?

Please.
Just one question. Please.

Fine, if it means you'll be
gone quicker.

Come on.

How well do you really
know Mandy?

What is it about this girl

that's got everyone's
knickers in a twist?

Including your own.

I'm happy. Doesn't anybody
care that I'm happy?

Of course I do. But aren't
you moving a little fast?

She's stayed over almost
every night last week.

Sorry, what business is that of yours?

I'm getting really sick
of trying to find ways

to tell you that I am sick
of you and your games.

Get over it.

Stop being such a jealous
ex-bodyguard.

I just want to make sure
you're protected.

You don't get the privilege
of protecting me any longer.

Thank God.

- Lady Holloway.
- Your Majesty.

I'll get some wine.

You are truly
a petulant disgrace.

You make a mockery of
the country and the crown.

First with your pitiful tirade,

then flaunting this pitiful
bimbo around in public.

All this, not to mention
what you did to my husband.

Promising he'd be Prime
Minister, then reneging.

Maybe you should ask
Mr. Holloway the truth

about why our deal is off.

You two will have a lot
to talk about.

Where is he tonight, by the way?

Working hard after you
shafted him.

More like working
someone's hard shaft.

Enjoy the show. I hear
there's a surprise ending.

So once I've poured
enough liquor down her,

I'll get her alone and switch
the real one for that.

Not bad for 3,500 bucks, right?

I mean, convincing enough
on its own,

but five drinks,
and she'll never know.

You did that thing
with the camera?

Looped a decoy feed, yes,
or I wouldn't be standing here.

It was literally in my hands
hours ago!

Dude! Snap out of it.

This was your plan.

You fell for her, I get it,

because you have a dick
and she's hot.

But time to come back
to reality.

For what we've been talking
about for two years.

We are so close.

You remember that night we took
that guy at the Bellagio for ten grand?

I was so excited and you were
your typical Jasper self,

all "it's cool, no big deal."

Then we, uh... celebrated...

on his penthouse balcony.

I'll never forget what you
said to me after that.

You were done with those jobs.

After watching your parents
scrape by

on small score
after small score, you were done.

Then what did you say to me?

You just need one great job.

And that looks like one hell
of a great job to me.

Have you heard from them?

Your folks?

Last I heard,
they were being evicted

from Desert Oasis Trailer Park.

You're so close to proving
that you're not your dad.

That you're smarter than him.

More talented than him.

That you have better taste...

in everything.

- How...?
- Once you lied to the world,

I knew I was a dead man.
So I was prepared when they walked in.

Alistair, I need you
to know that I...

No, Helena, this is where
I speak and you listen.

I realize now that it's
always been about you,

that I was your convenience.

I'm meant to be grateful

for whatever time I had with
you, and I was.

For 30 years.

Until you dragged Henry's
name through the mud.

That really woke me up.

So, yes, I'm alive.
But not to you.

Not anymore.
To you, I'm dead forever.

That's the speech I'd
prepared to give you.

Until I remembered the kids.

Are they my kids?

Or was that just another lie?

In all truthfulness, I don't
know if the twins are yours.

In the back of my mind,
I've always wondered.

Believe me, Alistair,
this is not a lie.

I promise I will never lie
to you again.

It's the kids' birthday
party tonight.

And yet you're here.

Stuck in your own head,
like you always are.

Never considering anyone else.

That's not true, Alistair.

Not when we were here,
when we were young,

before I got caught up in a tide

bigger than any one person
could bear.

I'm not the cruel person
you're making me out to be.

You still had a choice, Helena.

Everything you've done
has been for one purpose:

getting yourself on the throne.

And with this new
Succession Bill,

it's all coming together
the way you always wanted.

None of this
is the way I wanted it.

You think I'd have chosen
for things to turn out how they did?

Maybe so.

But you've never had
to sacrifice anything

while everyone around you
continues to lose everything.

Don't you see the twins
are the only ones left?

Hold on to what little
you have left with them

because without them,
you'll be completely alone.

Everybody is looking up here.

The way you look,
you should be used

- to eyes in your direction.
- This is different.

I feel ashamed.

Like I've done something wrong.

Am I a disgrace to the crown?

Nonsense.

You're an inspiring vision
of peace and purity.

It's those Philistine bitches
who are the disgrace.

Darling, know that with you
by my side,

the crown has never
shone brighter.

I can't see a bloody thing.
This is so absurd.

Oh, my God!
And now we're turning.

Whoa, hey. Get on your side.

Sshh! Just relax.

She's so sweet. She went to
so much trouble.

Just try and smile and be happy.

Dodgems?
In the bloody palace?

How the hell
did you do all this?

Luckily, you guys roll with one of
the best party-throwers on the planet.

All I had to was distract you
and swipe your phone

- and steal Holden's number.
- You sneaky bitch.

This is insane!

But it looks like not everyone
got the memo on the change of plans.

Okay. Make sure that you're outside
at midnight for the fireworks,

when it officially
becomes your birthday.

All of this is just foreplay.

At midnight,
shit is about to go off.

Everything looks so amazing.

You look amazing.

This necklace,
even better than I imagined.

No one's ever done anything
like this for me.

Well, that is a damned shame.

♪ So we danced in a fount
of Parisian Merlot

♪ With our head
in the clouds

♪ Bodies below in desire

♪ The whole world's
on fire

This guy serious?

You have to blow past the
legal limit to drive one.

Otherwise you have to do a shot.

♪ We danced in a fount
of Parisian Merlot

♪ With our head in the clouds

♪ Bodies below in desire

♪ The whole world's on fire

♪ We danced in a fount of
Parisian Merlot

♪ With our head in the clouds

♪ Bodies below in desire

♪ The whole world's on fire

♪ We danced in a fount
of Parisian Merlot

♪ With our head
in the clouds...

- You came.
- I did.

- You rode me off my line.
- I did.

Unreal.

Okay, here's my challenge:
You have to have a drink

for every year
you've been alive.

Do you think I'm not game
for that?

Shots, though.
Too many calories otherwise.

Model, remember?

- I'll get us started.
- Okay.

Happy Birthday, Princess.

Oh, thank you so much.
Thanks for coming. Enjoy the party.

Perhaps you don't recognize me.

Last time I saw you,
I was in rehab

and you wouldn't share
your drugs.

- Imogen.
- Imogen!

Piss... off! You look...

- Different.
- Yeah.

- I'm doing way better now.
- Clearly.

I got off the junk.

Found a guy who keeps me off
it and... takes care of me.

- What happened to your tats?
- Removed.

- Paid by my man.
- Nice.

I cannot wait to meet
the man behind this 180.

He's pretty great.
He's around somewhere.

He asked me to join him at your
birthday party and I couldn't wait

to celebrate the girl
who inspired me

more than the program
ever could.

Ohh! I'm so glad you're here.

And you're clean
and you're happy?

That's great.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

Too much heat on this right
now, Samantha.

We need to back off. They added
four guards just for the diamond.

I'm not worried. We've got
an ace up our sleeve. You.

Surely there's something else

in the palace
worth a small fortune,

something you can make off
with unnoticed

that's not gonna affect
Eleanor directly?

Just grab a vase.

Count it as solid winnings
and get the hell gone.

Are you serious? The buyer doesn't
want a vase. He wants diamonds.

Don't do this.
It will crush her.

She's a goddamn princess, Jasper.

I think she'll be fine.

This is happening.

And when we take off,
bring that tie.

I can think of a million
and one uses for it.

It matters not a spotted dick

what anyone thinks of either
of us, my dear.

Hey, King!

Like your style!

It's about time we had some
balls back on the throne.

Thank you, friend.

Smoking hot piece you got,
and all.

Long live the King, I say!

Long live the King!
Long live the King!

Long live the King!

Ohh!

- I'm terribly sorry.
- No problem at all.

It's not a party until
something's broken.

- What a prince!
- Oh, stop.

On to more important matters:
Pimm's Pong.

We're up against the current
champs, three games running.

Ambassadors!
How lovely to see you.

Wilhelmina!

And the same to you...
Your Highness.

These are the Moseleys,
ambassadors to Switzerland.

I met them whilst doing
my post-grad there.

Of course. Pleasure.

My apologies about
the change of plans.

Probably not what you had
in mind when you accepted

- my mother's invite.
- You kidding?

This is way more fun
than we were expecting!

Well, thank you for coming.

Your notable reputation
greatly precedes you.

You're on, young man.

Bring it.

We're gonna destroy them, right?

Oh, no doubt.

Go on.

- Ohh!
- Drink, Dame!

Steady.

Oh, we must do that next.

Yeah, of course.

Ohh!

I totally thought it was you
I was grinding on

for, like, two minutes!

Ashok's got really girly
arms. Trust me, you gave him

the night of his life.

Imogen?

What the hell you run off for?

I was dancing
with the birthday girl.

Yep.

I don't approve of you leaving
at your own whims.

We go now.

Are you deaf now?

- We're leaving.
- Baby, not so hard, please.

I should... go.

Happy Birthday, Princess.

- Thanks.
- Do keep in touch.

Okay.

We don't have to do this.

You do realize
it's filled with champagne?

The good stuff. And are you kidding?
Of course we do.

I'm going first.
Then I'll do you

on your actual birthday day.

Yes, I realize what I just said.

- Your dress. You sure you...
- Screw it!

More important things in life
than dresses. Do your worst.

Happy Birthday, bro.

Happy Birthday, Lenny.
And please thank the girl for me.

"The girl"?
Mandy, you wanker!

Thank Mandy for me, then.
I mean, this is incredible.

- It is, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Okay, I'm gonna go find her.
And, thank her...

- ..really good.
- Gross.

Come on!
You're just being nice.

No, I'm drunk.

Dude! Stop messing around.

Hit the thingy!

See, I knew you were just being nice.

Oh, God! Thanks for that.

I'm good. I think I can
drink my way out.

Our silences used to be comforting.

Please, tell me what I can
say to convince you...

"Say?" Helena, men walked in
and tried to kill me.

Don't you get that? We're beyond
what you can "say".

Do, then. There must be
something I can do.

You can't just go away now.

I'd just got you back!
How can I save this, Alistair?

Please tell me what I can do
to protect our future together.

For you and me,
there is no future.

Alistair!

Use this to test
if they're my children.

If so, it will be up to them
if I'm around at all.

If they're not mine,

you will absolutely
never see me again.

Don't do this! Don't throw
away 30 years together.

It's not me who threw 30 years
away on someone I thought I loved.

Please. Please stay.
Don't go.

I will make everything that's
happened up to you. Promise.

Even if it takes me
another 30 years.

I can be your Helly again.

I can be your Helly forever now.

Just you and me, Alistair.
Please.

Don't go.

Anything you want from me,
just name it. Anything.

I'll leave the palace.

I'll... marry you. Anything.

All you need to do is find a way
to make amends with your children

before 30 years passes
with them, too.

Want a hug?

I admit doing the Drunk Tank

this early in the night
was a little impetuous.

- Oh, you think?
- I really wanted the robe.

Thing is, I know people
around here...

probably could have
gotten you one.

Sshh. Let's not make
my bad decisions worse

by applying logic to them.

There are plenty of dry
clothes in my room,

which you're welcome to.

- Clothes?
- Clothes.

- In your room?
- In my room.

And a shower?

There's one of those as well.

I wonder how many girls
have heard

the "there's a change of
clothes up in my room" bit.

I won't be the girl waiting
for the guy to show.

Not really my thing.

I would never be the guy
to stand you up.

Through there,
all the way to the left.

I'll give you a few minutes,

then come make sure you have
everything you need.

What's up? Everything okay?

I'm better than okay.
I'm happy.

I just wanted
to find a quiet place

to tell you how grateful
I am for all of this.

You don't have to keep
saying that.

I don't know what else to do.

It's just so nice.

What can I do in return?

Just have a great time tonight.
That's all.

How many drinks are you up to?

Ah... eleventeen? Ish?

Perfect.

And we're alone in here?

That's the idea.

You look so beautiful.

Can I be super girly
for just, like, one second?

Yes, you can.

I can't believe I'm asking this,

but, damn it, never mind.
It's stupid.

Ask me. You can't do that.

What is it?

I was gonna ask if I could
possibly wear it for...

I don't know.

I just got consumed by my
12-year-old girly self for a moment.

There's absolutely
no way you can wear it!

Sorry, I had to
say that for the guard.

Sshh.

Take a look.

Wow.

Doesn't look nearly as good on me.

Not that I'm surprised.

Oh, Shit!
I thought it was clasped.

Agh!

Oh, my God.

- Sorry.
- I'm so, so sorry.

You better do it.

Have you ever seen anything so
beautiful in your life?

Do you want the cheesy answer
or the straight one?

The cheesy one.

I'm looking at her.

What's the straight answer?

I don't even know
what I would have said.

I don't think that far ahead.

♪ I'm pulling you close
under my feet

It's on.

♪ Now your heart
is my symphony

♪ I'm building you up
to kick you down

♪ How does it feel, oh,
how does it feel, oh-oh-oh

♪ Now your heart
is my symphony

♪ Now your heart
is my symphony

You want to know the real
reason I'm here?

Come with me.
This is not a game.

I'm not going anywhere
with you. Not anymore.

Urgh!

Urgh! You locked me in
with your tie?

No! You're not doing this!

- Stop!
- No!

- What the hell is going on?
- You need to tell her.

Hang on,
you two know each other?

What are you doing down here?
What is going on?

Unlock the gate!

One of you tell me what
the hell is going on!

Mandy, why are you leaving?
Did he threaten you?

Fine. You won't tell her?

- Holy shit!
- It's fake.

Okay, we need to get away
from this maniac.

Before you had me arrested,
you asked why I was really here.

Well, this is why.

I came here...
We came here to rob you.

Mandy? Is this true?

Just let me the hell
out of here!

Jasper!

Yes.

This doesn't even belong to me.
It belongs to the people.

If this was all just about
taking things from me...

here, take these.

Let her go.

It's now or never, babe.

Samantha, stop!

Finally come to your senses?

I came for the diamonds.
I'm taking them back to her.

Don't make me take
them from you.

I promise you the last thing
she wants right now

is a keepsake of tonight.
Now, are you coming or not?

No.

Don't you realize that you'll
never come back from this?

You might as well come with me.

No. No. It's not too late
to fix this.

Come back to the palace with me. Just
tell her that you changed your mind.

Tell her that, yeah,

this may've been the original
reason you came here,

but once you got here
and you got to know her,

you fell in love with her.

And that literally
nothing else matters

because you'll give up everything
just for a second chance with her.

♪ This is gonna bring us
to our knees

You are so screwed.

♪ So come on, let it go

You really are sweet.

It always was your weakness.

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Everything that's broke...

Youth is wasted on the young.

God knows, I wasted mine.

Then make the best
of what's left.

You should tell everyone the truth
about what's going on with you.

Nonsense. I don't need pity.

Not for pity. For honesty.

So people can see the real you,

the whole you, like I see.

I think they will like you.
Like they did tonight.

I don't need anyone to like me.

That's not true. You liked it
when they liked you.

I don't know.

They liked you.

No, no.

They admired you.

And for a moment,
it felt meaningful to you.

If you truly don't have
much time left,

do something meaningful with it.

What do you really want to do?

This is it.

♪ We're becoming
something else

♪ I think it's time
to walk away

♪ Come on, let it go

I want to spend it with you.

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Everything that's broke

♪ Leave it to the breeze

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ And I'll be me...

Ugh!

Get out of my house.

♪ Trying to fit your hand
inside of mine

♪ When we know
it just don't belong

♪ There's no force on earth
Could make it alright, no

♪ Whoa

♪ Trying to push this problem
up the hill

♪ When it's just too heavy
to hold

♪ Think now's the time
to let it slide

♪ So, come on, let it go,
oh-oh-oh

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Everything that's broke

♪ Leave it to the breeze

♪ Let the ashes fall

♪ Forget about me

♪ Come on, let it go, oh-oh-oh...

Hey!

Who are you?
Why are you here?

What does that symbol
on my necklace mean?

What do you want from me?

I know it was you that night.
Please, tell me!

Not now. We're being watched.

♪ From nervous touch
and getting drunk

♪ To staying up
and waking up with you

♪ Now we're sleeping
near the edge

♪ Holding something
we don't need

♪ Oh, this delusion
in our heads

♪ Is gonna bring us
to our knees

♪ So, come on, let it go

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Everything that's broke

♪ Leave it to the breeze

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ And I'll be me

♪ From throwing clothes
across the floor

♪ To teeth and claws
and slamming doors at you

♪ If this is all
we're living for...

♪ From walking home
and talking loads

♪ To seeing shows
in evening clothes...

The Princess has had her fun

but her clock just struck
midnight, I'm afraid.

Go get my diamond
and put it back.

Now on to
more meaningful things.

♪ To staying up
and waking up with you

♪ Now we're sleeping
near the edge

♪ Holding something
we don't need

♪ Oh, this delusion
in our heads

♪ Is gonna bring us
to our knees

♪ So, come on, let it go

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ Everything that's broke

♪ Leave it to the breeze

♪ Let the ashes fall

♪ Forget about me

♪ Come on, let it go

♪ Just let it be

♪ Why don't you be you

♪ And I'll be me?

♪ And I'll be me