The Rockford Files (1974–1980): Season 2, Episode 19 - The Italian Bird Fiasco - full transcript
Jim gets hired by a diamond smuggler posing as an art dealer causing trouble for Jim with LAPD and other smugglers.
I want you to pick up
the second cormorant for me.
I think you're trouble.
I also think you're crooked.
A minimum bid has been
set at $5,000.
$10,000.
$11,000.
Sold to the gentleman.
Now, I can hit your
bonding company and that will
put you out of work.
Why did they break it?
They were
trying to steal it.
You realize, of course,
that's blackmail.
It's business.
(SCREAMING)
(PHONE RINGING)
ROCKFORD:
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name
and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS)
SALLY: Jim, Sally. Hey,
I just found out
you're an Aries.
Listen, if you have
Virgo rising, give me a call.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
ITA Flight 59 is now ready
for boarding at Gate 24
for New York and Los Angeles.
Thank you, sir.
Have a pleasant flight.
Sir?
Barrows.
Flight 129 to Los Angeles,
round trip.
Yes, Mr. Barrows. That will be
£663, please, sir.
Thank you.
I'll carry this one.
I'm sorry, sir,
I'm afraid it's too large.
You'll have to check it.
(SIGHING)
All right.
Boarding at Gate 6, sir.
Have a pleasant flight.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Your attention please...
Overseas operator?
I want to place
a person-to-person call
to a Mr. Thomas Caine
in Los Angeles, California.
That's right. The number is
555-6757.
Yes, thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yes, operator.
Yes, this is Thomas Caine.
Who's calling?
Barrows. This is Barrows.
Is it on its way?
It is.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Mr. James O'Brien...
But I'm...
Mr. O'Brien.
Hello?
Hello?
(JET ENGINE WHIRRING)
(SCREAMING)
If you want a doctor,
tell me
where you shipped the box.
Please.
Where?
Campbell Galleries,
Los Angeles.
(PHONE RINGING)
All right, I hear you.
Stop it!
Try your horn!
ROCKFORD: Hello.
Mr. Rockford, please.
What do you want?
Well, we can start
with a touch of civility.
Civility is
out of the question.
My name is Thomas Caine.
You were recommended to me
by a business associate,
Howard Coleman.
How... Howard Coleman
never paid the final invoice
I sent him.
I want to hire you,
Mr. Rockford,
if you can get here
within an hour or so.
You'll be finished by 11:00.
I have a $200-a-day minimum.
Since you were recommended
by Mr. Coleman,
I'll need half of it
in advance.
Well, that's acceptable.
I'm at the Delman Motel
on Santa Monica.
Come directly to Suite 12.
And as inconspicuously
as possible.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Wait a minute, Paolo.
Is that you, Rockford?
ROCKFORD: Yeah. Mr. Caine?
Come in.
I'm on an overseas call.
Now, give it to me again,
Paolo.
Well, did the curator
from Venice fly down
and look at it or what?
No, no, no! Wait for him.
Don't buy it
until he looks at it.
It's cheap insurance.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Kiss Gabriella and the kids.
Ciao. Sit down.
It's 85 degrees
in Florence.
Doesn't often get that hot
in northern Italy
this time of year.
I don't like Florence
when it gets that hot.
Ah, but that's life.
Well, we had a hot April
here last year.
I had a friend who said
it got up to 85 degrees
in the City of Industry,
but I don't believe him.
I mean, it always
just seems hotter
in those little towns
next to the freeway.
I get the message.
You in the art business, huh?
Yes.
All right, Mr. Caine,
what can I do for you?
Do you have a card?
Well, I keep meaning to
reorder them, but, you know,
I've been so busy
I just haven't
had a chance.
Well, what I want you
to do for me is to act
as my purchasing agent.
It's a relatively simple
assignment.
I don't think
you'll have any trouble.
She's beautiful,
isn't she?
Hmm? Yeah, yeah.
I bought her
from a private collector
in Denver yesterday afternoon.
Christian Moreau did that
in his African period.
There were 18 of those
originally.
Some experts think
that there were 24,
but he was only
in his African period
for 17 months
and I know how slowly
he worked.
So 24 is out of the question.
18, maybe 19.
He was a funny man.
Sometimes he gave those away.
To his models.
He drank too much.
It killed him.
That's too bad.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You said you wanted
a purchasing agent.
Mr. Caine,
I don't do clerical work.
There's an auction
at the Campbell Gallery
on Melrose this morning.
Are you familiar with it?
Oh, no, no.
You're not
an art lover?
Well, let's just say
that I've let
my interests wander
in other directions lately.
Too bad.
There is a cormorant,
that's a sculpted bird,
that's being auctioned
at the Campbell Gallery
this morning.
Now, most people think
that it is a duplicate
which was made for
the Glovester collection,
and who knows? It may
very well be a duplicate.
But I was
in Madrid last week
and the curator
of the Madrid Institute
thinks that it might
be one of the three
original Lambrini cormorants.
So I thought I would gamble
10 or 12,000 and buy it
and check it out.
10 or 12,000 whats?
Are we talking about pesos
or francs or something? What?
American dollars.
Oh, okay.
But why me, Mr. Caine?
Why not go yourself?
Yes. Well, I'm a fairly
well-known art speculator.
If I were to turn up
at the auction and start
bidding on the damn thing,
the price would
go through the roof
simply because I was there.
I normally use Terry Fielder
to buy for me in L.A.,
but he's in Europe this month.
Do you know Terry?
No.
Well, I have written out
a blank check
to the Campbell Gallery.
Now, if the price should go
over $12,000, you let it go.
I will pay you
your $200 fee.
The whole thing should take
about an hour and a half
including driving time.
Are you interested?
I don't know, Mr. Caine.
Well, it seems
the risk is all mine.
Okay. I'll do it
under two conditions.
You give me $100 in advance.
And?
And you tell me
where I can find
Howard Coleman.
He's in Prague.
Czechoslovakia?
I'm afraid you'll have to
wait for your fee
for a while.
Okay, Mr. Caine,
I'll pick up
your bird for you.
Fine. Oh, by the way,
the address of the gallery
is on the envelope.
I'll be waiting right here.
Ciao.
Adios.
The original three cormorants
were sculpted in 1753
by the great Jacopo Lambrini.
In the early 1800s,
the Lambrini estate
in Verona burned
and the priceless originals
were never found.
In 1812,
Lambrini's grandson sculpted
the Lambrini duplicates.
In themselves great works.
A minimum bid has been
set at $5,000.
Do I hear $5,500?
$6,000?
Do I hear $6,500?
$6,500.
Do I hear $7,000?
$7,500?
$8,000?
$8,500?
$9,000?
$9,000.
$9,500.
$10,000.
$11,000.
(ALL CHATTERING)
$11,000 once. $11,000 twice.
Sold to the gentleman.
Excuse me.
Oh, hi.
May I?
Oh, sure, sure.
It's a hen, I think.
Of course, with cormorants
it's hard to tell.
Beg your pardon?
Joke. That's a little joke.
Oh, of course.
It's just that I hadn't
expected anyone else
to bid so high.
I didn't bring
a large enough check.
Are you with
one of the local galleries?
Oh, my name is Jim Rockford.
I took Terry Fielder's job.
He's in Europe.
Yes. Prague, I think.
I'm Evelyn Stoneman.
Terry got very interested
in Gustav Kruger.
Personally, I think his
earlier work was magnificent,
but lately he's been
turning out absolute rubbish.
But I suppose if you're
with Terry, you have
a preference for Kruger, too.
Not necessarily, no.
What is your field of study,
Mr. Rockford?
Oh, well...
I like Moreau.
Particularly, the things
he did in the African period.
Oh, I see.
Which theory do you support?
Well...
I think 18,
19 at the most.
I think 24 is just
out of the question.
Well, you see,
I know how slowly he worked
and I just don't think
he could have ever done 24.
However, if he worked late
and, you know,
worked like a little beaver,
he might have
turned out 20, 21.
Who knows? He might
even have done 24. Could I
have my bird back, please?
I've written five papers
supporting the 24 theory.
But, of course,
you knew that.
Oh, of course, of course.
I was just fooling.
Mr. Rockford.
Hmm?
I suppose you're
a very entertaining gentleman
and I'm a little bit
off my game.
You see, I was sent down here
on an airplane from Canada
where I was buying paintings
for the National Gallery.
Now, the curators
from the gallery
were horrified to learn
that one of the cormorants
was shipped out of England.
They expected me to buy it.
I'm afraid they'll be
quite put off with me.
Well, do you think
this is one of the originals?
Oh, I don't have
the foggiest,
but that is part
of the Glovester collection
and the entire collection
was promised
to the National Gallery.
We want to preserve it intact.
Well, I'm sorry, but...
Oh, give me half an hour
and I'll cable London
for additional funds.
I'll pay you $15,000.
Well, I can't. I'm acting
for someone else.
Maybe he would consider it.
Who is it?
Well, do you have a card?
If he's interested,
I'll have him call you.
Where are you staying?
At the Hilton.
Let's get out of here.
(MOANING)
Why? Why did they break it?
They were
trying to steal it.
Well, you shouldn't have
fought them. It's much better
to let them have it
than to break it.
Look, honey,
it is my business
what I do or don't do.
Of course. I'm sorry,
I wasn't thinking.
Yeah, well, forget it.
Hey, look, I may need
a statement from you
for my bonding company
about this.
Bonding company?
Why on earth would you
have a bonding company?
Yeah, well,
in a day or two,
I may not.
Do you want us
to call the police, sir?
ROCKFORD: No, no police.
They may be copies,
but they're
still irreplaceable.
I think you should
inform the police.
"They?"
Yes, "they,"
the three of them.
You didn't know that?
Of course I knew that.
Who are you?
You don't work for Terry.
All right, Miss Stoneman,
you're right.
I don't work for Terry.
I'll even go you one better.
I don't even know Terry.
But anybody who'd go
all the way to Prague
to look up a no-talent
like Gustav Kruger
can't be worth working for.
Excuse me.
Well, Miss Stoneman,
if this place wasn't
so close to my gallery
and I didn't have
something else on my mind,
you'd never have gotten
away with tailing me.
Can I help you folks?
Oh, just visiting friends.
Oh, well, this suite is empty.
Mr. Caine has checked out?
Caine? Are you working
for Thomas Caine?
Sir, I run this place. I can
assure you this suite has
been empty for several days.
Well, now, wait a minute.
Let's start all over again.
This is Number 12.
My name is Jim Rockford.
A man named Thomas Caine
called me from here
and then I had a meeting
in there
less than two hours ago.
There were
sculptures and paintings
all over the place.
The bed had been slept in.
Don't tell me
he wasn't living here.
Mr. Rockford?
There have been no calls
through our switchboard
from this suite.
So if you and your friend
were in there,
you're guilty
of illegal entry.
Maybe this is a matter
for the police.
Oh, he doesn't want
to call the police,
do you?
No, no.
Look,
could I look inside, please?
Come on,
what's it gonna hurt, huh?
Well, everything appears
to be in order.
Of course,
if something turns up missing,
I have your name.
ROCKFORD: Well, you know
something I don't know.
Well, Thomas Caine
has been buying and selling
objets d'art for years.
His dealings have
been barely legal
and usually totally unethical.
Misrepresentation,
bogus signatures on paintings,
falsified certificates
of authenticity.
Well, his check was good.
They ran a credit check
before they accepted it.
A man just doesn't
lay out 11 grand and disappear
without picking up
his merchandise.
Such as it is.
Right.
If you have any idea
where I might purchase
the other two cormorants,
will you call me?
Look, I'm tired,
my client is missing...
I'm just not interested.
Are you always
this friendly?
Under the circumstances,
I think I'm doing pretty well.
You have my card.
I thought you were
only interested in antiques.
Hey, Jimbo. How you doing?
Well, I'm not sure.
A little overdressed,
wouldn't you say?
Take a look at this,
will you?
What is this?
Or, was this?
It's one of the
Lambrini cormorants.
You mean
from the Glovester collection?
Yeah. A man named Caine
had me buy that for 11 grand.
Thomas Caine?
Hey, you know him?
I know of him.
Rumor is he's been
in Prague the last couple
of weeks.
Madrid.
Terry Fielding is in Prague.
Uh-huh.
You want some coffee?
Yeah, black.
You know Caine?
A Miss Stoneman from
the London gallery told me
that he was a crook.
Jimbo, the art world
is full of kooks.
Evelyn Stoneman's
fiercely dedicated.
Caine's a fast-buck artist.
It's all in
your point of view.
What happened to
that thing anyway?
Oh, a couple of art lovers
tried to take it away from me.
Things got rough.
And now Caine has disappeared.
Oh, at least you're finally
getting interested
in the art world.
I told you it was lively.
Caine asked me to buy this
on the off-chance
that it wasn't a copy
but the real thing.
That would be some find.
The copies are worth maybe
$5,000 to $10,000 a piece.
The originals are priceless.
You think this might
be an original?
No. I think the originals
were lost in the early 1800s.
What about that
spectro-dating process
you were telling me about?
Want me to put
your bird in the machine?
Yeah. While I look for Caine.
Okay. Okay.
Pretty, isn't it?
I hope you helped yourself
to whatever's in the icebox.
I'm rather adept
with passkeys, Mr. Rockford.
I was one of the few Americans
assigned to British
intelligence during the war.
(MIMICKING ENGLISH ACCENT)
Good show, that.
Do you mind making yourself
a little less at home?
I was outside the gallery
when the two men attacked you.
I saw the bird get broken.
Oh, well,
thanks for jumping in
and lending a hand.
Oh, there wasn't
much I could do.
It all happened so fast.
And once the bird was broken,
I seemed to lose all interest
in the whole affair.
Then you saw Miss Stoneman.
Evelyn Stoneman is one of
the art world's small curses.
She runs about
from gallery to gallery
and she almost has enough
money to pay for the things
she's bidding for.
Unfortunately,
she's always
just about $1,000 short,
so all she manages to do
is drive up the prices.
Yes.
She isn't too well thought of
in the right circles.
Neither are you.
All right. Neither am I.
I never claimed sainthood.
Where there's money,
you'll find operators.
And I'm an operator,
but then so are you.
You just operate
on a smaller scale.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yeah.
Overseas? No.
Yes, that's for me.
Cancel the call.
How many of those things
did I buy?
I don't suppose
it bothers you,
the loss of the cormorant,
but it bothers me a lot.
So I made a few phone calls.
There's been another cormorant
shipped into the country.
You know,
when Lloyd's of London insures
items of this value
they rather like them
to be shipped
on separate airplanes.
I want you to pick up
the second cormorant for me.
Oh, that really makes my day.
And don't be so flip,
Mr. Rockford.
I'm through working for you.
I think you're trouble.
I also think you're crooked.
So I'm not working for you,
Mr. Caine.
Do you mind leaving?
I've been through your desk.
I found that you're bonded
by the...
What is it?
"Averill Insurance Group."
I phoned Mr. Averill.
He's about to drop
your account,
if there are any more
large claims against it.
The way he explains it,
you "barely float."
Now, I can hit
your bonding company.
And it seems to me
if I hit them too hard,
they'll drop you
and that will
put you out of work.
We're not getting along
too well, are we?
On the contrary.
Now, here's
the $100 that I owe you.
And because of the added risk,
I'll pay you,
say, $500
for this afternoon's work.
The second cormorant
will be taken to the
Winslow Gallery on Alvarado.
The bidding starts at 2:00.
Do you mind, Dennis?
I gotta be over there
by 2:00.
Let me see.
Come on, Dennis.
Do you know what happens
if Captain Highland finds out
I'm letting you use
this department
as a branch office?
Who's gonna tell him?
We got rules.
You don't worry
whether I get
my buns in a sling
so long as you get
what you want.
Me, what do I get?
Last Christmas,
I think it was
a case of Scotch.
Dennis,
what's wrong with you?
Listen, Jim,
this has got to stop.
I mean, I don't mind
helping you out,
but you got to
stop coming down
to pick up the results.
Why?
Because it embarrasses me,
that's why.
They don't understand.
They don't like Pls.
And it's hard on my image
around here.
Well, if we're supposed
to be friends, why don't you
tell them to buzz off?
You tell them.
I work with them.
Dennis, may I see that,
please?
No, it's official
police business.
Well,
then why did you run it
if you're not gonna
show it to me?
Force of habit.
Dennis,
I am in some trouble.
I'm about to get tagged
by my bonding company,
which will put me
out of business.
And this guy Caine's
got me up a tree.
I'm about to get shafted.
Get out of here,
will you, Jim?
Not till I get
the information.
Thomas Caine,
no convictions.
Scotland Yard and Interpol
are having
a pick-up-for-questioning
tag on him.
Not enough to extradite.
Now get out of here.
Questions about what?
Things.
Dennis, I'm not leaving
till I hear it.
The disappearance of
a Lloyd's of London agent.
A guy by the name of Barrows.
That's it, nothing else.
Goodbye.
Thanks, Dennis.
Thanks a lot, old buddy.
Get out of here, Rockford,
and don't come back!
AUCTIONEER: Sold to the man
in the brown coat.
Please pick up the cormorant
at the cashier's window.
You owe me $500,
Mr. Caine.
Did you see
those two men?
Anybody give you
any trouble?
I get the feeling
this auctioneer
didn't like me either.
But I'm getting calluses.
Doesn't bother me as badly
as it did this morning.
Ciao.
Hello, Ted?
Jim, I've been
trying to reach you.
I've got
some good news for you
and some bad news.
Give me the bad news first.
I did the spectro-analysis.
The cormorant is...
The cormorant was
an original Lambrini.
You're putting me on.
Sorry.
For once in his life,
Caine was on the level.
Give me the good news.
Okay. Look, I can grab
some prestige for myself
if I can display
the other two cormorants
here for a while.
If Caine has them,
I'll pay him
a nice piece of change for it.
If you help me convince him,
I can get the museum
to pony up $1000 for you.
I'll get back to you.
(CLINKING)
(SMASHING)
(BANGING)
Hey, Dennis, old buddy.
How's it going?
Jim, where are you, buddy?
Oh, I'm in a phone booth.
Yeah? Whereabouts?
It's under a tree.
Jim, you better come in.
Did you send those blue suits
out to my place?
Yeah.
Why?
Jim, you come on down,
we'll talk it over
and we'll get the whole thing
worked out.
Well, I'd like to do that,
Dennis, old buddy,
but, you know, I'm trying to
stay away from the Department.
You know,
I hurt your reputation
when I come in there.
Jim, you get your butt in here
or I'm gonna put out
a warrant on you.
Well, what's the matter,
Dennis? Can't you ask nice?
You got to send one of those
Batmobiles to pick me up?
That was Highland's idea.
What's going on?
Dennis,
if you don't tell me,
I'm not coming in.
All right.
I'll give you this much.
We got a follow-up
on that telex.
They found that
Lloyd's of London agent
that was missing.
Barrows?
Right. He's dead.
It looks like he was
pushed off the roof
of one of the buildings
at the London airport.
Now, Lloyd's of London
is sending over
an agent to question Caine.
They think that he and Barrows
may have been involved
in a jewel heist.
A jewel heist?
I thought we were working
on an art swindle.
A jewel...
What do you mean,
a jewel heist?
Where did that come from?
There's more, but you got
to come in
if you want the answers.
Okay, Dennis, I'm on my way.
Put out a warrant on Rockford.
He said he was coming in.
He's not coming in.
How do you know?
Because I know, that's all.
EVELYN: It's amusing.
Curators are sort of stuffy.
Especially Mr. Lowell.
The English get that way
when they're dealing
with their national heritage.
I love art,
but it should be fun.
We shouldn't take it
or ourselves too seriously.
I usually don't command
such avid attention.
You're trying to
decide something.
What is it?
Okay, Evelyn,
I'm trying to decide
whether to take
a chance on you or not.
Oh, that's quite chauvinistic.
You see, I might not
let you take
a chance at all.
I haven't decided
we're a workable couple yet.
Oh, well, that's sweet
and terribly current,
but it's not
what I had in mind.
What did you have in mind?
Well, you want to
recover those birds, right?
The Lambrini birds?
Of course.
That's why I'm here.
Maybe I can help you.
I dearly hope so.
I'm not sure of the timetable,
but I think I can
get hold of the third bird
within 24 hours.
Third cormorant?
What happened to the second?
It didn't.
Yeah. It did.
How?
Well,
I'm more interested in why.
You really don't give a damn
about any of this, do you?
Well, I have
a rooting interest.
Don't you understand?
These birds are irreplaceable.
The man who sculpted them
is long dead
and single-handedly
you managed to break
two of them in two days.
I have just about reached
my threshold of abuse.
Now, you told me to call you
if I needed any help.
Okay. Well, maybe
that was a mistake.
I'm sorry. I'm upset.
Then control yourself.
I'll try.
You said something about
recovering the third piece.
If you can,
I'm prepared to go
as high as it takes
to get it back
for the National Gallery.
Okay, Miss Stoneman,
but you should be
where I can reach you.
Now, you stay at your hotel,
and when I recover
the third bird I'll call you.
What makes you think
you're going to get it?
Oh,
I have a hunch about it,
that's all.
You'd better not
break this one.
I'll wear a catcher's mitt.
Morning.
I kind of figured
you'd call me again.
There is a third bird
to be auctioned
at the Murchison Gallery.
I want you to
pick it up for me.
Here's your check.
There's a condition this time.
What condition?
Yeah, well, Ted Haller,
at the Upstairs Gallery would
like to display the cormorant
for a week or two.
He'll pay you well
and I can pick up $1000
if I can convince you.
Our dealings were
supposed to be secret.
Well, you see,
a friend of mine,
a Sergeant Becker down at
police headquarters,
and then there's an agent
from Lloyd's of London,
who are looking for you.
Something about a dead man
named Barrows.
What are you implying?
I'm just telling you
we're gonna start doing things
my way from now on
instead of yours.
You realize, of course,
that's blackmail.
It's business.
Now, Mr. Haller has
a spectro-dating process
and he'll test your Lambrini
to make sure it's genuine
before he'll make a deal.
Very well.
AUCTIONEER: Sold to the
gentleman in the fourth row!
Original Lambrini.
Yes. Well, you'll be wanting
to run a test, of course.
Of course.
Same as the other two.
Other two?
Yeah, I had Mr. Haller
run a test on the remains
of the one that I broke
and the one you broke.
And they both proved
to be original Lambrinis.
I guess I forgot
to mention that.
That's impossible.
Oh, no, no, no.
The process is foolproof.
Hello, Jim.
Oh, you're early.
We're not quite finished yet.
Who is this?
Oh, I'm sorry.
May I present
Miss Evelyn Stoneman of the
National Gallery of London.
That's not Evelyn Stoneman.
I know Evelyn.
I was afraid
you were gonna say that.
Hello, Tom,
how's everything in Florence?
It's hot, Margret,
85 degrees.
And how's Gabriella?
Listen, Maggie,
we can make a deal.
Barrows is dead
and there's room
for a partner.
I'm sure.
Well, I'll have to
consider it, Tom.
Nice seeing you all.
Evelyn... Margret...
Whatever.
Don't break the bird.
It happens to be
one of the original Lambrinis.
It is not a copy.
Don't take all this art jazz
too seriously, dear.
It ruins your sense of humor
and it clogs the sinuses.
He's telling the truth.
Please, don't hurt it.
It's priceless.
I'll be very careful.
I'll get the cops.
Here, you hold that.
I'll get the cops.
(ALARM RINGING)
I know, I know,
but it's quicker.
Dennis, don't argue!
I followed these clowns
to the airport.
Now, get a couple of cops
and get out here
on the double.
They're on Concourse B.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Flight 402 is now boarding
at Gate 33
for Chicago and New York.
Transglobal Flight 402
is now boarding at Gate 33
for Chicago and New York.
Yes, I'd like to page
a London passenger, please.
Yes. Would you ask
Mr. Edward Barrows
to call the customs
luggage claims office, please?
Yes, Edward Barrows.
Thank you.
It's $3.90, please.
Thank you.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
London passenger
Mr. Edward Barrows,
please pick up
the black courtesy phone.
Mr. Edward Barrows.
Answering the page
for a dead man.
It wasn't in any
of the three birds.
Luggage?
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Miss Diane Harper
to the VIP lounge.
Miss Diane Harper.
Come on.
You'll miss your plane.
I might not
have to take it.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Skycap, please report
to the baggage loading area.
Skycap, please report
to the baggage loading area.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Fricke.
I really do appreciate it.
Glad to help,
Mr. Barrows.
Thank you.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
CAB Flight 292
is now ready for boarding
at Gate 41
for Dallas, New Orleans,
Washington and Philadelphia.
CAB Flight 292 is now ready
for boarding at Gate 41
for Dallas, New Orleans,
Washington and Philadelphia.
I'll take the bag, Rockford.
I beg your pardon?
I'll take the bag.
Oh.
Why not?
Drop it!
BECKER: Drop it! Now, hold it!
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
One of you want to tell me
what this is all about?
Well, I'll tell you.
It's all about jewelry.
The Glovester jewel heist.
(JEWELS RATTLING)
Okay, let me
get this straight.
Evelyn Stoneman is really
Maggie Donnegan?
Miss Donnegan was an
executive secretary
of the Glovester estate.
She helped Caine set up
the theft of the jewels.
But the stuff was
too hot to fence in Europe
and he didn't want to give
good old Margret her share.
Oh, so he put them
in the birds.
Exactly.
You see, customs agents rarely
uncrate valuable art objects,
especially when they're
insured and shipped
by a reputable firm like ours.
The trouble is
Maggie and her chaps
caught up with Barrows
before he could
make the switch.
So, he jammed the duplicates
into his suitcase
and tried to run for it.
Of course, he died before
he could tell Caine
that the real Lambrinis
were being shipped
from Lloyd's.
Apparently, they had been
in the Glovester estate
all these years.
It's quite an art find.
At least, it was.
Yeah, well,
I think I got it.
It's given me
a little bit
of a headache.
I'll see you in the morning
and we'll get
extradition started.
10:00?
Yeah, whatever.
Are you gonna
take care of the bill?
Oh, yeah.
My pleasure, old buddy.
Mr. Cryder,
I don't want to seem anxious,
but I was wondering
about my 5% recovery fee.
Oh, yes. I called my people
at Lloyd's. They agreed.
5% of a million dollars
worth of jewelry.
That's $50,000, isn't it?
Yes.
Unfortunately,
each of the cormorants
was insured for $15,000,
making a total of $45,000.
What has one
got to do with the other?
Well, they feel
that since you were hired
to protect them,
and since all three
were destroyed,
that you should
bear the loss.
That's preposterous!
Unfortunately,
that is how they feel.
So $45,000 from $50,000
leaves $5,000.
Well,
I didn't break
the damn things.
I've been doing
some preliminary figuring.
Now, from the $5,000 there's,
of course,
English inheritance taxes
and English income taxes.
Oh, yes, we shall have to,
of course, inform your IRS.
And there's
the rate of exchange
to consider.
Oh, yes.
And then there's...
One minute.
Yes?
Do you think there is going
to be enough left for me
to pick up this tab?
Well, I really don't know,
Mr. Rockford.
That rather depends.
Do you intend
to keep on drinking?
the second cormorant for me.
I think you're trouble.
I also think you're crooked.
A minimum bid has been
set at $5,000.
$10,000.
$11,000.
Sold to the gentleman.
Now, I can hit your
bonding company and that will
put you out of work.
Why did they break it?
They were
trying to steal it.
You realize, of course,
that's blackmail.
It's business.
(SCREAMING)
(PHONE RINGING)
ROCKFORD:
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone, leave your name
and message.
I'll get back to you.
(BEEPS)
SALLY: Jim, Sally. Hey,
I just found out
you're an Aries.
Listen, if you have
Virgo rising, give me a call.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
ITA Flight 59 is now ready
for boarding at Gate 24
for New York and Los Angeles.
Thank you, sir.
Have a pleasant flight.
Sir?
Barrows.
Flight 129 to Los Angeles,
round trip.
Yes, Mr. Barrows. That will be
£663, please, sir.
Thank you.
I'll carry this one.
I'm sorry, sir,
I'm afraid it's too large.
You'll have to check it.
(SIGHING)
All right.
Boarding at Gate 6, sir.
Have a pleasant flight.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Your attention please...
Overseas operator?
I want to place
a person-to-person call
to a Mr. Thomas Caine
in Los Angeles, California.
That's right. The number is
555-6757.
Yes, thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
Yes, operator.
Yes, this is Thomas Caine.
Who's calling?
Barrows. This is Barrows.
Is it on its way?
It is.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Mr. James O'Brien...
But I'm...
Mr. O'Brien.
Hello?
Hello?
(JET ENGINE WHIRRING)
(SCREAMING)
If you want a doctor,
tell me
where you shipped the box.
Please.
Where?
Campbell Galleries,
Los Angeles.
(PHONE RINGING)
All right, I hear you.
Stop it!
Try your horn!
ROCKFORD: Hello.
Mr. Rockford, please.
What do you want?
Well, we can start
with a touch of civility.
Civility is
out of the question.
My name is Thomas Caine.
You were recommended to me
by a business associate,
Howard Coleman.
How... Howard Coleman
never paid the final invoice
I sent him.
I want to hire you,
Mr. Rockford,
if you can get here
within an hour or so.
You'll be finished by 11:00.
I have a $200-a-day minimum.
Since you were recommended
by Mr. Coleman,
I'll need half of it
in advance.
Well, that's acceptable.
I'm at the Delman Motel
on Santa Monica.
Come directly to Suite 12.
And as inconspicuously
as possible.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Wait a minute, Paolo.
Is that you, Rockford?
ROCKFORD: Yeah. Mr. Caine?
Come in.
I'm on an overseas call.
Now, give it to me again,
Paolo.
Well, did the curator
from Venice fly down
and look at it or what?
No, no, no! Wait for him.
Don't buy it
until he looks at it.
It's cheap insurance.
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
Kiss Gabriella and the kids.
Ciao. Sit down.
It's 85 degrees
in Florence.
Doesn't often get that hot
in northern Italy
this time of year.
I don't like Florence
when it gets that hot.
Ah, but that's life.
Well, we had a hot April
here last year.
I had a friend who said
it got up to 85 degrees
in the City of Industry,
but I don't believe him.
I mean, it always
just seems hotter
in those little towns
next to the freeway.
I get the message.
You in the art business, huh?
Yes.
All right, Mr. Caine,
what can I do for you?
Do you have a card?
Well, I keep meaning to
reorder them, but, you know,
I've been so busy
I just haven't
had a chance.
Well, what I want you
to do for me is to act
as my purchasing agent.
It's a relatively simple
assignment.
I don't think
you'll have any trouble.
She's beautiful,
isn't she?
Hmm? Yeah, yeah.
I bought her
from a private collector
in Denver yesterday afternoon.
Christian Moreau did that
in his African period.
There were 18 of those
originally.
Some experts think
that there were 24,
but he was only
in his African period
for 17 months
and I know how slowly
he worked.
So 24 is out of the question.
18, maybe 19.
He was a funny man.
Sometimes he gave those away.
To his models.
He drank too much.
It killed him.
That's too bad.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You said you wanted
a purchasing agent.
Mr. Caine,
I don't do clerical work.
There's an auction
at the Campbell Gallery
on Melrose this morning.
Are you familiar with it?
Oh, no, no.
You're not
an art lover?
Well, let's just say
that I've let
my interests wander
in other directions lately.
Too bad.
There is a cormorant,
that's a sculpted bird,
that's being auctioned
at the Campbell Gallery
this morning.
Now, most people think
that it is a duplicate
which was made for
the Glovester collection,
and who knows? It may
very well be a duplicate.
But I was
in Madrid last week
and the curator
of the Madrid Institute
thinks that it might
be one of the three
original Lambrini cormorants.
So I thought I would gamble
10 or 12,000 and buy it
and check it out.
10 or 12,000 whats?
Are we talking about pesos
or francs or something? What?
American dollars.
Oh, okay.
But why me, Mr. Caine?
Why not go yourself?
Yes. Well, I'm a fairly
well-known art speculator.
If I were to turn up
at the auction and start
bidding on the damn thing,
the price would
go through the roof
simply because I was there.
I normally use Terry Fielder
to buy for me in L.A.,
but he's in Europe this month.
Do you know Terry?
No.
Well, I have written out
a blank check
to the Campbell Gallery.
Now, if the price should go
over $12,000, you let it go.
I will pay you
your $200 fee.
The whole thing should take
about an hour and a half
including driving time.
Are you interested?
I don't know, Mr. Caine.
Well, it seems
the risk is all mine.
Okay. I'll do it
under two conditions.
You give me $100 in advance.
And?
And you tell me
where I can find
Howard Coleman.
He's in Prague.
Czechoslovakia?
I'm afraid you'll have to
wait for your fee
for a while.
Okay, Mr. Caine,
I'll pick up
your bird for you.
Fine. Oh, by the way,
the address of the gallery
is on the envelope.
I'll be waiting right here.
Ciao.
Adios.
The original three cormorants
were sculpted in 1753
by the great Jacopo Lambrini.
In the early 1800s,
the Lambrini estate
in Verona burned
and the priceless originals
were never found.
In 1812,
Lambrini's grandson sculpted
the Lambrini duplicates.
In themselves great works.
A minimum bid has been
set at $5,000.
Do I hear $5,500?
$6,000?
Do I hear $6,500?
$6,500.
Do I hear $7,000?
$7,500?
$8,000?
$8,500?
$9,000?
$9,000.
$9,500.
$10,000.
$11,000.
(ALL CHATTERING)
$11,000 once. $11,000 twice.
Sold to the gentleman.
Excuse me.
Oh, hi.
May I?
Oh, sure, sure.
It's a hen, I think.
Of course, with cormorants
it's hard to tell.
Beg your pardon?
Joke. That's a little joke.
Oh, of course.
It's just that I hadn't
expected anyone else
to bid so high.
I didn't bring
a large enough check.
Are you with
one of the local galleries?
Oh, my name is Jim Rockford.
I took Terry Fielder's job.
He's in Europe.
Yes. Prague, I think.
I'm Evelyn Stoneman.
Terry got very interested
in Gustav Kruger.
Personally, I think his
earlier work was magnificent,
but lately he's been
turning out absolute rubbish.
But I suppose if you're
with Terry, you have
a preference for Kruger, too.
Not necessarily, no.
What is your field of study,
Mr. Rockford?
Oh, well...
I like Moreau.
Particularly, the things
he did in the African period.
Oh, I see.
Which theory do you support?
Well...
I think 18,
19 at the most.
I think 24 is just
out of the question.
Well, you see,
I know how slowly he worked
and I just don't think
he could have ever done 24.
However, if he worked late
and, you know,
worked like a little beaver,
he might have
turned out 20, 21.
Who knows? He might
even have done 24. Could I
have my bird back, please?
I've written five papers
supporting the 24 theory.
But, of course,
you knew that.
Oh, of course, of course.
I was just fooling.
Mr. Rockford.
Hmm?
I suppose you're
a very entertaining gentleman
and I'm a little bit
off my game.
You see, I was sent down here
on an airplane from Canada
where I was buying paintings
for the National Gallery.
Now, the curators
from the gallery
were horrified to learn
that one of the cormorants
was shipped out of England.
They expected me to buy it.
I'm afraid they'll be
quite put off with me.
Well, do you think
this is one of the originals?
Oh, I don't have
the foggiest,
but that is part
of the Glovester collection
and the entire collection
was promised
to the National Gallery.
We want to preserve it intact.
Well, I'm sorry, but...
Oh, give me half an hour
and I'll cable London
for additional funds.
I'll pay you $15,000.
Well, I can't. I'm acting
for someone else.
Maybe he would consider it.
Who is it?
Well, do you have a card?
If he's interested,
I'll have him call you.
Where are you staying?
At the Hilton.
Let's get out of here.
(MOANING)
Why? Why did they break it?
They were
trying to steal it.
Well, you shouldn't have
fought them. It's much better
to let them have it
than to break it.
Look, honey,
it is my business
what I do or don't do.
Of course. I'm sorry,
I wasn't thinking.
Yeah, well, forget it.
Hey, look, I may need
a statement from you
for my bonding company
about this.
Bonding company?
Why on earth would you
have a bonding company?
Yeah, well,
in a day or two,
I may not.
Do you want us
to call the police, sir?
ROCKFORD: No, no police.
They may be copies,
but they're
still irreplaceable.
I think you should
inform the police.
"They?"
Yes, "they,"
the three of them.
You didn't know that?
Of course I knew that.
Who are you?
You don't work for Terry.
All right, Miss Stoneman,
you're right.
I don't work for Terry.
I'll even go you one better.
I don't even know Terry.
But anybody who'd go
all the way to Prague
to look up a no-talent
like Gustav Kruger
can't be worth working for.
Excuse me.
Well, Miss Stoneman,
if this place wasn't
so close to my gallery
and I didn't have
something else on my mind,
you'd never have gotten
away with tailing me.
Can I help you folks?
Oh, just visiting friends.
Oh, well, this suite is empty.
Mr. Caine has checked out?
Caine? Are you working
for Thomas Caine?
Sir, I run this place. I can
assure you this suite has
been empty for several days.
Well, now, wait a minute.
Let's start all over again.
This is Number 12.
My name is Jim Rockford.
A man named Thomas Caine
called me from here
and then I had a meeting
in there
less than two hours ago.
There were
sculptures and paintings
all over the place.
The bed had been slept in.
Don't tell me
he wasn't living here.
Mr. Rockford?
There have been no calls
through our switchboard
from this suite.
So if you and your friend
were in there,
you're guilty
of illegal entry.
Maybe this is a matter
for the police.
Oh, he doesn't want
to call the police,
do you?
No, no.
Look,
could I look inside, please?
Come on,
what's it gonna hurt, huh?
Well, everything appears
to be in order.
Of course,
if something turns up missing,
I have your name.
ROCKFORD: Well, you know
something I don't know.
Well, Thomas Caine
has been buying and selling
objets d'art for years.
His dealings have
been barely legal
and usually totally unethical.
Misrepresentation,
bogus signatures on paintings,
falsified certificates
of authenticity.
Well, his check was good.
They ran a credit check
before they accepted it.
A man just doesn't
lay out 11 grand and disappear
without picking up
his merchandise.
Such as it is.
Right.
If you have any idea
where I might purchase
the other two cormorants,
will you call me?
Look, I'm tired,
my client is missing...
I'm just not interested.
Are you always
this friendly?
Under the circumstances,
I think I'm doing pretty well.
You have my card.
I thought you were
only interested in antiques.
Hey, Jimbo. How you doing?
Well, I'm not sure.
A little overdressed,
wouldn't you say?
Take a look at this,
will you?
What is this?
Or, was this?
It's one of the
Lambrini cormorants.
You mean
from the Glovester collection?
Yeah. A man named Caine
had me buy that for 11 grand.
Thomas Caine?
Hey, you know him?
I know of him.
Rumor is he's been
in Prague the last couple
of weeks.
Madrid.
Terry Fielding is in Prague.
Uh-huh.
You want some coffee?
Yeah, black.
You know Caine?
A Miss Stoneman from
the London gallery told me
that he was a crook.
Jimbo, the art world
is full of kooks.
Evelyn Stoneman's
fiercely dedicated.
Caine's a fast-buck artist.
It's all in
your point of view.
What happened to
that thing anyway?
Oh, a couple of art lovers
tried to take it away from me.
Things got rough.
And now Caine has disappeared.
Oh, at least you're finally
getting interested
in the art world.
I told you it was lively.
Caine asked me to buy this
on the off-chance
that it wasn't a copy
but the real thing.
That would be some find.
The copies are worth maybe
$5,000 to $10,000 a piece.
The originals are priceless.
You think this might
be an original?
No. I think the originals
were lost in the early 1800s.
What about that
spectro-dating process
you were telling me about?
Want me to put
your bird in the machine?
Yeah. While I look for Caine.
Okay. Okay.
Pretty, isn't it?
I hope you helped yourself
to whatever's in the icebox.
I'm rather adept
with passkeys, Mr. Rockford.
I was one of the few Americans
assigned to British
intelligence during the war.
(MIMICKING ENGLISH ACCENT)
Good show, that.
Do you mind making yourself
a little less at home?
I was outside the gallery
when the two men attacked you.
I saw the bird get broken.
Oh, well,
thanks for jumping in
and lending a hand.
Oh, there wasn't
much I could do.
It all happened so fast.
And once the bird was broken,
I seemed to lose all interest
in the whole affair.
Then you saw Miss Stoneman.
Evelyn Stoneman is one of
the art world's small curses.
She runs about
from gallery to gallery
and she almost has enough
money to pay for the things
she's bidding for.
Unfortunately,
she's always
just about $1,000 short,
so all she manages to do
is drive up the prices.
Yes.
She isn't too well thought of
in the right circles.
Neither are you.
All right. Neither am I.
I never claimed sainthood.
Where there's money,
you'll find operators.
And I'm an operator,
but then so are you.
You just operate
on a smaller scale.
(PHONE RINGING)
Yeah.
Overseas? No.
Yes, that's for me.
Cancel the call.
How many of those things
did I buy?
I don't suppose
it bothers you,
the loss of the cormorant,
but it bothers me a lot.
So I made a few phone calls.
There's been another cormorant
shipped into the country.
You know,
when Lloyd's of London insures
items of this value
they rather like them
to be shipped
on separate airplanes.
I want you to pick up
the second cormorant for me.
Oh, that really makes my day.
And don't be so flip,
Mr. Rockford.
I'm through working for you.
I think you're trouble.
I also think you're crooked.
So I'm not working for you,
Mr. Caine.
Do you mind leaving?
I've been through your desk.
I found that you're bonded
by the...
What is it?
"Averill Insurance Group."
I phoned Mr. Averill.
He's about to drop
your account,
if there are any more
large claims against it.
The way he explains it,
you "barely float."
Now, I can hit
your bonding company.
And it seems to me
if I hit them too hard,
they'll drop you
and that will
put you out of work.
We're not getting along
too well, are we?
On the contrary.
Now, here's
the $100 that I owe you.
And because of the added risk,
I'll pay you,
say, $500
for this afternoon's work.
The second cormorant
will be taken to the
Winslow Gallery on Alvarado.
The bidding starts at 2:00.
Do you mind, Dennis?
I gotta be over there
by 2:00.
Let me see.
Come on, Dennis.
Do you know what happens
if Captain Highland finds out
I'm letting you use
this department
as a branch office?
Who's gonna tell him?
We got rules.
You don't worry
whether I get
my buns in a sling
so long as you get
what you want.
Me, what do I get?
Last Christmas,
I think it was
a case of Scotch.
Dennis,
what's wrong with you?
Listen, Jim,
this has got to stop.
I mean, I don't mind
helping you out,
but you got to
stop coming down
to pick up the results.
Why?
Because it embarrasses me,
that's why.
They don't understand.
They don't like Pls.
And it's hard on my image
around here.
Well, if we're supposed
to be friends, why don't you
tell them to buzz off?
You tell them.
I work with them.
Dennis, may I see that,
please?
No, it's official
police business.
Well,
then why did you run it
if you're not gonna
show it to me?
Force of habit.
Dennis,
I am in some trouble.
I'm about to get tagged
by my bonding company,
which will put me
out of business.
And this guy Caine's
got me up a tree.
I'm about to get shafted.
Get out of here,
will you, Jim?
Not till I get
the information.
Thomas Caine,
no convictions.
Scotland Yard and Interpol
are having
a pick-up-for-questioning
tag on him.
Not enough to extradite.
Now get out of here.
Questions about what?
Things.
Dennis, I'm not leaving
till I hear it.
The disappearance of
a Lloyd's of London agent.
A guy by the name of Barrows.
That's it, nothing else.
Goodbye.
Thanks, Dennis.
Thanks a lot, old buddy.
Get out of here, Rockford,
and don't come back!
AUCTIONEER: Sold to the man
in the brown coat.
Please pick up the cormorant
at the cashier's window.
You owe me $500,
Mr. Caine.
Did you see
those two men?
Anybody give you
any trouble?
I get the feeling
this auctioneer
didn't like me either.
But I'm getting calluses.
Doesn't bother me as badly
as it did this morning.
Ciao.
Hello, Ted?
Jim, I've been
trying to reach you.
I've got
some good news for you
and some bad news.
Give me the bad news first.
I did the spectro-analysis.
The cormorant is...
The cormorant was
an original Lambrini.
You're putting me on.
Sorry.
For once in his life,
Caine was on the level.
Give me the good news.
Okay. Look, I can grab
some prestige for myself
if I can display
the other two cormorants
here for a while.
If Caine has them,
I'll pay him
a nice piece of change for it.
If you help me convince him,
I can get the museum
to pony up $1000 for you.
I'll get back to you.
(CLINKING)
(SMASHING)
(BANGING)
Hey, Dennis, old buddy.
How's it going?
Jim, where are you, buddy?
Oh, I'm in a phone booth.
Yeah? Whereabouts?
It's under a tree.
Jim, you better come in.
Did you send those blue suits
out to my place?
Yeah.
Why?
Jim, you come on down,
we'll talk it over
and we'll get the whole thing
worked out.
Well, I'd like to do that,
Dennis, old buddy,
but, you know, I'm trying to
stay away from the Department.
You know,
I hurt your reputation
when I come in there.
Jim, you get your butt in here
or I'm gonna put out
a warrant on you.
Well, what's the matter,
Dennis? Can't you ask nice?
You got to send one of those
Batmobiles to pick me up?
That was Highland's idea.
What's going on?
Dennis,
if you don't tell me,
I'm not coming in.
All right.
I'll give you this much.
We got a follow-up
on that telex.
They found that
Lloyd's of London agent
that was missing.
Barrows?
Right. He's dead.
It looks like he was
pushed off the roof
of one of the buildings
at the London airport.
Now, Lloyd's of London
is sending over
an agent to question Caine.
They think that he and Barrows
may have been involved
in a jewel heist.
A jewel heist?
I thought we were working
on an art swindle.
A jewel...
What do you mean,
a jewel heist?
Where did that come from?
There's more, but you got
to come in
if you want the answers.
Okay, Dennis, I'm on my way.
Put out a warrant on Rockford.
He said he was coming in.
He's not coming in.
How do you know?
Because I know, that's all.
EVELYN: It's amusing.
Curators are sort of stuffy.
Especially Mr. Lowell.
The English get that way
when they're dealing
with their national heritage.
I love art,
but it should be fun.
We shouldn't take it
or ourselves too seriously.
I usually don't command
such avid attention.
You're trying to
decide something.
What is it?
Okay, Evelyn,
I'm trying to decide
whether to take
a chance on you or not.
Oh, that's quite chauvinistic.
You see, I might not
let you take
a chance at all.
I haven't decided
we're a workable couple yet.
Oh, well, that's sweet
and terribly current,
but it's not
what I had in mind.
What did you have in mind?
Well, you want to
recover those birds, right?
The Lambrini birds?
Of course.
That's why I'm here.
Maybe I can help you.
I dearly hope so.
I'm not sure of the timetable,
but I think I can
get hold of the third bird
within 24 hours.
Third cormorant?
What happened to the second?
It didn't.
Yeah. It did.
How?
Well,
I'm more interested in why.
You really don't give a damn
about any of this, do you?
Well, I have
a rooting interest.
Don't you understand?
These birds are irreplaceable.
The man who sculpted them
is long dead
and single-handedly
you managed to break
two of them in two days.
I have just about reached
my threshold of abuse.
Now, you told me to call you
if I needed any help.
Okay. Well, maybe
that was a mistake.
I'm sorry. I'm upset.
Then control yourself.
I'll try.
You said something about
recovering the third piece.
If you can,
I'm prepared to go
as high as it takes
to get it back
for the National Gallery.
Okay, Miss Stoneman,
but you should be
where I can reach you.
Now, you stay at your hotel,
and when I recover
the third bird I'll call you.
What makes you think
you're going to get it?
Oh,
I have a hunch about it,
that's all.
You'd better not
break this one.
I'll wear a catcher's mitt.
Morning.
I kind of figured
you'd call me again.
There is a third bird
to be auctioned
at the Murchison Gallery.
I want you to
pick it up for me.
Here's your check.
There's a condition this time.
What condition?
Yeah, well, Ted Haller,
at the Upstairs Gallery would
like to display the cormorant
for a week or two.
He'll pay you well
and I can pick up $1000
if I can convince you.
Our dealings were
supposed to be secret.
Well, you see,
a friend of mine,
a Sergeant Becker down at
police headquarters,
and then there's an agent
from Lloyd's of London,
who are looking for you.
Something about a dead man
named Barrows.
What are you implying?
I'm just telling you
we're gonna start doing things
my way from now on
instead of yours.
You realize, of course,
that's blackmail.
It's business.
Now, Mr. Haller has
a spectro-dating process
and he'll test your Lambrini
to make sure it's genuine
before he'll make a deal.
Very well.
AUCTIONEER: Sold to the
gentleman in the fourth row!
Original Lambrini.
Yes. Well, you'll be wanting
to run a test, of course.
Of course.
Same as the other two.
Other two?
Yeah, I had Mr. Haller
run a test on the remains
of the one that I broke
and the one you broke.
And they both proved
to be original Lambrinis.
I guess I forgot
to mention that.
That's impossible.
Oh, no, no, no.
The process is foolproof.
Hello, Jim.
Oh, you're early.
We're not quite finished yet.
Who is this?
Oh, I'm sorry.
May I present
Miss Evelyn Stoneman of the
National Gallery of London.
That's not Evelyn Stoneman.
I know Evelyn.
I was afraid
you were gonna say that.
Hello, Tom,
how's everything in Florence?
It's hot, Margret,
85 degrees.
And how's Gabriella?
Listen, Maggie,
we can make a deal.
Barrows is dead
and there's room
for a partner.
I'm sure.
Well, I'll have to
consider it, Tom.
Nice seeing you all.
Evelyn... Margret...
Whatever.
Don't break the bird.
It happens to be
one of the original Lambrinis.
It is not a copy.
Don't take all this art jazz
too seriously, dear.
It ruins your sense of humor
and it clogs the sinuses.
He's telling the truth.
Please, don't hurt it.
It's priceless.
I'll be very careful.
I'll get the cops.
Here, you hold that.
I'll get the cops.
(ALARM RINGING)
I know, I know,
but it's quicker.
Dennis, don't argue!
I followed these clowns
to the airport.
Now, get a couple of cops
and get out here
on the double.
They're on Concourse B.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Flight 402 is now boarding
at Gate 33
for Chicago and New York.
Transglobal Flight 402
is now boarding at Gate 33
for Chicago and New York.
Yes, I'd like to page
a London passenger, please.
Yes. Would you ask
Mr. Edward Barrows
to call the customs
luggage claims office, please?
Yes, Edward Barrows.
Thank you.
It's $3.90, please.
Thank you.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
London passenger
Mr. Edward Barrows,
please pick up
the black courtesy phone.
Mr. Edward Barrows.
Answering the page
for a dead man.
It wasn't in any
of the three birds.
Luggage?
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Miss Diane Harper
to the VIP lounge.
Miss Diane Harper.
Come on.
You'll miss your plane.
I might not
have to take it.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
Skycap, please report
to the baggage loading area.
Skycap, please report
to the baggage loading area.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Fricke.
I really do appreciate it.
Glad to help,
Mr. Barrows.
Thank you.
WOMAN: (OVER P.A. SYSTEM)
CAB Flight 292
is now ready for boarding
at Gate 41
for Dallas, New Orleans,
Washington and Philadelphia.
CAB Flight 292 is now ready
for boarding at Gate 41
for Dallas, New Orleans,
Washington and Philadelphia.
I'll take the bag, Rockford.
I beg your pardon?
I'll take the bag.
Oh.
Why not?
Drop it!
BECKER: Drop it! Now, hold it!
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
One of you want to tell me
what this is all about?
Well, I'll tell you.
It's all about jewelry.
The Glovester jewel heist.
(JEWELS RATTLING)
Okay, let me
get this straight.
Evelyn Stoneman is really
Maggie Donnegan?
Miss Donnegan was an
executive secretary
of the Glovester estate.
She helped Caine set up
the theft of the jewels.
But the stuff was
too hot to fence in Europe
and he didn't want to give
good old Margret her share.
Oh, so he put them
in the birds.
Exactly.
You see, customs agents rarely
uncrate valuable art objects,
especially when they're
insured and shipped
by a reputable firm like ours.
The trouble is
Maggie and her chaps
caught up with Barrows
before he could
make the switch.
So, he jammed the duplicates
into his suitcase
and tried to run for it.
Of course, he died before
he could tell Caine
that the real Lambrinis
were being shipped
from Lloyd's.
Apparently, they had been
in the Glovester estate
all these years.
It's quite an art find.
At least, it was.
Yeah, well,
I think I got it.
It's given me
a little bit
of a headache.
I'll see you in the morning
and we'll get
extradition started.
10:00?
Yeah, whatever.
Are you gonna
take care of the bill?
Oh, yeah.
My pleasure, old buddy.
Mr. Cryder,
I don't want to seem anxious,
but I was wondering
about my 5% recovery fee.
Oh, yes. I called my people
at Lloyd's. They agreed.
5% of a million dollars
worth of jewelry.
That's $50,000, isn't it?
Yes.
Unfortunately,
each of the cormorants
was insured for $15,000,
making a total of $45,000.
What has one
got to do with the other?
Well, they feel
that since you were hired
to protect them,
and since all three
were destroyed,
that you should
bear the loss.
That's preposterous!
Unfortunately,
that is how they feel.
So $45,000 from $50,000
leaves $5,000.
Well,
I didn't break
the damn things.
I've been doing
some preliminary figuring.
Now, from the $5,000 there's,
of course,
English inheritance taxes
and English income taxes.
Oh, yes, we shall have to,
of course, inform your IRS.
And there's
the rate of exchange
to consider.
Oh, yes.
And then there's...
One minute.
Yes?
Do you think there is going
to be enough left for me
to pick up this tab?
Well, I really don't know,
Mr. Rockford.
That rather depends.
Do you intend
to keep on drinking?