The Rockford Files (1974–1980): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Countess - full transcript
A woman meets a man on a lonely stretch of highway while Rockford is filming the exchange from a hillside. Jim is working for the woman. Her name is Deborah Ryder and she is being ...
Come on, what are you
afraid of? You wanna move in
on me?
You guys aren't cops?
Not hardly.
You gotta trust somebody.
And you're applying
for the job?
[Tires screeching]
There was a man killed down
at the beach
and I was chasing the killer.
On the ground, now.
How are you feeling,
Mr. Rockford?
Tell you the truth,
I'm scared to death.
[Telephone ringing]
(Rockford on
answering machine)
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone,
leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
[Beeps]
(man)
Hey, Rockford, very funny,
I ain't laughing.
You're gonna get yours.
[Rustling]
How much further, miss?
About a mile more, I think.
This is a long way
in the middle of nowhere.
(cab driver)
You just want me to drop you?
If you don't mind.
[Laughs]
I don't mind, honey.
By the way,
I'm a Scorpio,
with Pisces ascending.
How nice for you.
Yeah, it is.
Scorpios are lucky at love,
you know.
Luck has nothing
to do with it.
Pull up right there
in that clearing, please.
[Engine starting]
[Birds chirping]
Why, Countess,
you look lovely.
You know, we're going to have
to stop meeting like this.
You're not amusing, Carl.
When you come on, you just get
slightly more vulgar,
if that's possible.
Another rejection.
You know, if I keep this up,
I'm just liable to plunge
myself into analysis.
Let's hope so.
May I?
What do we have...
A tape recorder.
Surprise, surprise.
Here you are.
Thank you.
[Laughs]
You know, I get
a big kick out of you,
Countess.
You don't know
how much that pleases me.
Yeah, you have this dangerous
tendency to underrate people.
I guess it comes from hanging
out with too many phonies
and socialites.
Not like in Chicago.
Back then,
you were streetwise.
You wouldn't have pulled
a dumb trick like this.
You got some guy in the bushes
with a high-speed camera?
Sound, lights, camera, action?
Cute and kind of sweet
in a stupid way.
You work so hard
at being Cary Grant. Life just
isn't that fascinating.
And who'd know better
than you?
Okay, Countess,
you wanna talk, we'll talk,
but not out here.
You wanna talk, we'll go
in my car. It's not wired.
[Car buzzes]
[Car door closing]
Come on.
(policeman)
What are you doing here?
(policeman)
What are you doing here?
What was that?
It was a cop.
He caught me
in a fire hazard area.
Couldn't go through
that again.
Just sitting in the same car
with him made my flesh crawl.
We didn't get enough, did we?
No. Now we need
the soundtrack.
[Sighs]
Look at that. I haven't been
that nervous
since I left Chicago.
You certainly reduce things
to their
lowest common denominator.
It's a plastic world.
If you don't like it
that way...
I can give it to you
in a cheese glass, Countess.
My name is Deborah Ryder.
Let's add it up.
I talked to a friend of mine.
He used to work
with him back East.
The rumor is that he's got
nine scalps hanging
from his belt.
If I'm gonna stay involved...
you're gonna have to keep me
better informed
about what's going on.
You know all you need to know.
I'm being blackmailed.
I need some help
in getting rid of the man.
You surely don't expect me
to tell you
what he's got on me.
That would be stupid.
I just might wind up
with two blackmailers
instead of one.
When were you in Chicago?
You never told me that.
Is that where you knew Carl?
I think I've had enough
for today.
If you'll just tell me what's
going on, maybe I can tie
a can to his tail.
I need that much leverage
to make it work. You've got
to trust somebody.
And you're applying
for the job? How sweet.
Try that one.
You know,
Arnold thinks that...
we should spend
the whole season in Europe...
and I'm beginning to think
he's right.
We did get to know
quite a few titled people...
and LA is getting quite tacky.
Did you meet the Countess
in Europe?
I met her at Marineland.
How strange.
I run the hot dog concession
next to the
killer whale exhibit.
The Countess loves
my foot-longs.
I make them great.
Lots of chili and hot mustard.
I have a secret, you know.
I precook the hot dogs...
then I wrap them
in cellophane.
That's the secret. Cellophane.
Keeps them from getting tough.
Would you excuse me?
Yes.
[Woman laughing]
(Ryder)
You're Jim Rockford,
aren't you?
The Countess told me
all about you. I'm Mike Ryder.
Hi, Mike. It's a nice party.
If you want my opinion,
they're a bunch
of social-climbing creeps...
but it fills up the place,
so what's the difference?
[All cheering]
Who's the one cavorting
in the pool?
That's Carl Brego,
land development syndicator.
Countess says
she knew you in school.
Yeah, right. School.
Then you knew her
before she was a countess.
Yeah. Well,
it's kind of hard...
to get used to calling
her that, the Countess.
She doesn't like to be called
the Countess.
When she married me, she lost
her title. She wants to be
called Mrs. Ryder.
Look at that.
That's Sally Norris.
Her daddy's a big investor
in one of my oil fields.
She's only 17.
I got half a mind to go
over there and hand
that big ape his head.
He looks like
he might be hard to take.
I saw him go after
a guy at a party once.
He pretends to shake your hand
and then tries to kick
your kneecap off.
Excuse me,
I'm gonna break that up.
[Woman laughing]
[People laughing]
You were right, you know.
I first met Carl Brego
in Chicago 15 years ago.
Even then
you could tell he was crazy.
I was 18, fresh off the bus
from southern Illinois.
Got a job in a restaurant.
Didn't know it, but the mob
used the place
as a numbers drop.
Carl Brego was the bagman.
He used to come in every day
at noon and pick up
an order to go.
You thought he was picking up
tuna sandwiches for his boss?
Then I met a man
who was handsome,
sophisticated.
I fell madly in love.
Same old story.
He was a roper
for the syndicate.
He didn't care anything
about me,
except as merchandise.
Later on, I found out
it was Carl Brego
who'd teed me up.
Are you following me?
Yeah.
Three years later
I was arrested
by the Chicago police.
I got out on bail...
and I was so scared
that I'd go to jail, I ran.
I had a friend who helped me
get a passport
under a different name.
Changed my appearance,
lost 15 pounds,
went to Europe.
And then I met Count Bertoli
and he married me.
And there I was,
La Contessa Bertoli.
Anyway, after the Count died,
I met Mike in Florence.
He was like
a breath of fresh air.
We were married,
and we came back here.
One day, at a party
in Bel Air...
two months ago,
there was Carl Brego.
Did he approach you right off?
He didn't recognize me.
I could tell
he was troubled about it.
And then, a month later,
he must have put it
all together...
because I met him
at another party
and he asked me to dance.
While we were on the
dance floor, he began...
to whisper profanities
into my ear.
He must have some kind of
connection with the
Chicago police force...
because he's got a Xerox
of my whole file.
He showed it to me.
I think you should tell Mike.
I think he can stand it.
Mike was born in a hovel.
He never made it past
the fifth grade.
He made a fortune
and he married a countess.
That's not why he married me,
but it's important to him.
I would like to save that
for him.
And maybe save it
for yourself, too?
I think I like you.
You certainly aren't impressed
by the fact
that I once had a title.
I knew a guy a while back.
He was a torpedo
for the mob...
and he had little
business cards printed up...
and on it,
it said
"independent contractor"...
and then his name,
and under that
it said "hit man."
That's really the only title
that ever impressed me.
Now, you're just a girl
from southern Illinois...
and if you want,
I'll try and help you.
[Seagulls cawing]
[Leah laughing]
[Carl laughing]
[Leah continues laughing]
The Sewards aren't here.
I'm renting.
I said...
I heard what you said, Carl.
Have we met before, sport?
No.
Who is it, Carl?
Shut up, Leah.
Look, you got some business
with me, or you just looking
in the window?
I got a message
from the Countess.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
You don't wanna talk in front
of Leah, sport.
I'm gonna make you look bad.
Is that so?
Well, won't be the first time.
(Leah)
Where are you going, Carl?
Okay, friend,
what's the message?
Well, I'll tell you, Carl.
It's like this.
I'm taking over the account.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I know about
the Countess and Chicago.
I'm running a little low
on funds, so I'll start
squeezing her myself.
So I thought maybe
you and I should have
a little understanding...
clear the decks first.
See, I don't like
getting bumped in the curves.
So, if I see you
hanging around her again...
I'm gonna come down here
and pound your mouth
full of sand...
and drop you off
the end of the pier.
Hey, pal, slow down.
What are you getting
all excited about?
I don't know what
you're talking about,
I really don't.
I've also got you
on videotape.
Like a screen test, kind of?
Yeah, sort of.
And what happens if I tell you
to shinny up a rope?
The videotape goes
to the cops.
It seems to me
that it would put you
out of business, too.
I'm reckless.
[Laughing]
I like you, sport.
You got guts.
I've also got
the Countess concession.
Right. You got it.
Hey, be my guest.
See, I was only shaking
her down for the fun of it.
You know, I kind of like
to see her squirm.
She's a phony.
Listen, you got my blessings.
You know what?
I hope you jerk her under.
[Grunting]
Okay, you're through,
hot shot. Come on.
You want some? Come on.
You want a little bit?
Come on, you wanna move in
on me?
Come on, now.
Here we go. Don't be afraid.
[Grunts]
[Gun firing]
How about that?
[Seagulls cawing]
[Exclaiming]
[Engine starting]
[Tires screeching]
[Engine starting]
[Police siren wailing]
Okay, mister, on the ground.
There was a man killed down
at the beach
and I was chasing the killer.
On the ground, now.
I told you,
I was chasing the guy
that killed him.
1-Mary-10 to Control.
I have your 157 suspect
in custody.
Send a backup
and put out a Code 4.
A 157?
What are you talking about?
I didn't kill anybody.
I told you,
I was chasing the guy.
He was driving
a white Porsche.
He did the killing.
I got a lieutenant coming.
You can tell him.
Well?
That's the man.
He's the one
we saw at the beach.
I was on the beach.
I saw these people,
but I didn't kill anybody.
Listen, you knock it off
for a minute.
You'll get your chance.
Is there anything else?
It did look like
they were fighting.
Oh, yeah?
How about that?
Lieutenant, if you just
ask them about the rifle...
we can clear this thing
up in a hurry.
I wanna know if
you were fighting with Brego
when he got killed.
Yeah, sort of.
Sort of?
Okay, I was fighting with him,
but I wasn't trying
to kill him.
He was a very dangerous man.
We got a file on Brego
two inches thick.
Brego was a flip-top.
If you were fighting,
you can bet
he was trying to kill you.
He'd have caved your head in
and sent you out
with the tide.
He was shot
with a rifle from a cliff.
I saw these people,
but I wasn't carrying a rifle.
Did he have a rifle?
No.
Did he have a pistol?
He could have.
As a matter of fact,
he did have something
in his hand.
He was shot with a rifle.
I didn't have a rifle.
Now, I wanna get out of here.
According to the coroner,
he was shot...
with a 7.65 mm slug.
It could have come out
of anything.
A rifle, a pistol.
Of course,
there's no way of telling...
'cause the slug was a dumdum
and it's in a hundred pieces.
Where's my lawyer?
Is Rockford's attorney
out there yet?
(woman)
Not yet, sir.
Nope.
Thanks very much
for coming in.
Just down the hallway
and to the left.
Doesn't look good,
Mr. Rockford.
No, sir, it doesn't look good
at all.
You got a right to consult
with your attorney,
but I got a suggestion.
Well, let me guess.
If I confess,
you'll get me off
with 20 to life...
and then you'll make sure that
the warden puts me in a cell
with color TV.
Tell you what. I'll call
the DA in here,
and we'll settle this quick.
You were fighting with Brego.
Brego pulled a piece...
you took it away from him,
the gun went off.
Involuntary manslaughter.
We plead it before a judge.
You end up maybe doing a year,
county time.
Come on, Lieutenant.
I didn't come down
with yesterday's rain.
You got a
very creaky case here,
all of it circumstantial.
You don't have a motive...
and those two old people
aren't gonna make
good witnesses.
A good attorney could blow
them off in 10 minutes.
You yardbird lawyers
really hand me a laugh.
I told you
I got a call from Brego.
He didn't give me his name
on the phone,
but he wanted to retain me.
So I went down to the beach
to meet him.
When I got there, I knew
who he was and told him
I didn't work for hoods.
So he blew his stack
and started swinging.
Next thing I knew,
there was a shot
and he went down.
You're crud, Rockford.
You know it and I know it.
You got a record
and you done time.
The courts ain't gonna waste
much time with you.
You're gonna get down
the chute in a hurry.
Let's go.
Where have you been, Beth?
I was in court,
filing a report on a felony,
hit-and-run.
I got here as fast as I could.
I'm gonna turn him over
to the jailer.
You can talk to him there.
Hold on a second, Lieutenant.
Let me finish
this A.R. Report.
This is all you have?
Okay, Lieutenant...
I haven't spoken
to my client yet, but I think
you can ease off a little.
Is that so, honey?
I'm an attorney,
Lieutenant Diel.
I expect to be treated
as such.
My name is Ms. Davenport.
You call me "honey" again,
you'll hear about it
from your captain.
I'm still gonna book
this jailbird.
For what?
Material witness, for now.
No, you're not.
You're gonna book him
for murder one.
Beth.
Shut up, Jim.
Look, I'm gonna book...
You want him as a witness.
He'll stipulate to that
and I'll guarantee
his presence in court...
if this thing
ever gets to court.
(Davenport)
Carl Brego was a hoodlum.
You and I both know
he was probably killed
by the underworld.
But if you book
Mr. Rockford...
as a material witness
under these circumstances...
I'm going to bring action
against you and this
department for harassment...
and you will end up
getting your next promotion...
around the
turn of the century.
Wait here a minute.
Beth, murder one?
Are you nuts?
You gotta push them.
I don't think they
can make it, and it's
the only charge they have.
We'll see.
Isn't that
a little dangerous?
Yes.
[Sighs]
All right, Ms. Davenport.
We're not gonna book him yet.
Come on, Jim. Let's go.
I'm gonna be
on you like a bad case of flu.
You get even close
to an airport or bus station
and you're gonna be in here...
reading the graffiti.
What about the girl, Leah?
If the cops turn her up,
she could be
a problem for you...
especially if she heard
you threaten him.
Let's just hope
they don't find her.
You're parked in a red zone.
I always do that.
They never give tickets
in front
of the police station.
It's a psychological
neutral zone.
I gotta get a new attorney.
What do you mean?
You're out, aren't you?
But you haven't thrown
the hook yet.
Diel isn't sure about you.
He'd like it to be you...
because that would be easy
and satisfy his tidiness urge.
He's got a case,
but it's not good enough.
He'll never get a booking
with it, but it's close.
So, all he's got to do is
to get Mr. And Mrs...
What's their name?
Tibbett.
Tibbett.
To say that they saw you
with a gun in your hand.
Then there's also the
possibility that whoever
really killed him...
Jim?
Yeah.
Did you kill him?
That's just great.
What is that?
Kind of an afterthought?
I'm sorry,
it's just
a routine attorney's question.
There's the possibility
that whoever
really killed him...
is gonna pony up
a fake witness against you,
just to clear the books.
You have
any more comforting thoughts?
I've gotta get back to court.
I'll call you tonight.
Thanks for fitting me
in, Beth.
I really appreciate it.
[Beeps]
Countess, I want
to talk to you.
Just a minute, Jim.
I've only got five minutes
left of my lesson. Okay, Terry
Now.
You heard
the Countess, buddy.
This can't wait.
If the Countess says
five minutes,
it can wait five minutes.
All right, I don't want
to interrupt. You go ahead
and play, and I'll talk.
The cops think
I killed Carl Brego.
He was shot dead on the beach
about four hours ago.
Course, I didn't kill him,
but since you're the one
that sent me to meet him...
I just have to think that
you were trying to set me up
to take a murder rap.
Terry, would you
excuse us, please?
Who is this guy?
No, go ahead
and finish your lesson.
I hate to interrupt.
Terry, you can go now.
That's all for today.
Are you okay, Countess?
You want,
I can run this guy off.
I wouldn't try it, Terry.
I'm in a bad mood today.
I'm liable to make you eat
the tennis balls
in that basket.
Now, you gather the rest
of your things and scoot.
What do you mean,
"Carl's dead"?
You know he's dead.
You sent me down there
to get nominated for it.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
That frame wasn't quite
tight enough. I managed
to squeeze out from under it.
But I'm walking around
on a very thin pass.
Jim, you didn't...
Tell the police about you?
No. Not yet.
I'm on my way down there now.
I'm gonna give you
about a minute
and a half, Countess...
to convince me
you didn't set me up.
But I'm warning you...
you better make it good...
'cause I'm not working
for you now,
I'm working for me.
All right.
Just give me a minute.
I need time to think.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I'll see you, Countess.
Please. Look,
I didn't set you up.
You promised me
you wouldn't tell anybody
about Chicago.
You gave me your word,
or I wouldn't have told you.
I said I'd protect you
if you didn't lie to me.
I didn't lie to you.
Carl's death is a shock to me.
I swear to you that
I had nothing to do with it.
Come on,
you're gonna have to do
better than that.
And the police
won't believe you either...
particularly when I tell them
that your motive
was blackmail.
No, your best bet
to stay out of prison is
to plead temporary insanity.
Who knows, you may get lucky.
They'll toss you in
one of those
head-basket wards.
I'll deny it.
With Carl dead, there's no way
to prove anything.
They'll never believe you.
Come on, honey,
I got you on videotape.
Remember?
Carl taking the purse
from you, all that?
Please wait. Listen.
I'll buy the tape.
I'll pay you.
I'll pay you anything
you want.
All right. How about $100,000?
I really misjudged you,
didn't I?
You crawled out
from under a rock.
You see, I've got this
little problem. Every time
I get indicted for murder...
I seem to lose all my manners.
All right.
I'll raise the money somehow.
But you've got to promise me
to give me the videotapes
and keep your mouth shut.
You will?
I said I'd pay you.
I don't have the
videotapes anymore.
Somebody erased them.
I thought it was you,
but I guess it wasn't.
I told you the truth.
Now you have to keep
your promise, too.
I just don't know where
to go now. I thought it
was a gang killing.
Do you know a girl
by the name of Leah?
No.
I might find out something
from her about Carl.
He was living with her,
dating her, something.
I don't know.
You'll keep your promise?
You won't tell the police?
Let me put it
this way, Debbie.
I'm never too sure
just how much character
I've got.
In a pinch,
I start groping
for alternatives.
I'll probably sell you out
before I take a rap
for murder.
If you can help me, you'd
better get your little coffee
can and start bailing...
'cause if I go down,
you go down.
Chivalry is really dead,
isn't it?
I know.
[Clattering]
[Seagulls cawing]
(Becker)
Becker.
Hey, Dennis, Jim Rockford.
Say, Jim, how you been?
Heard you got into
a little tiff
with my buddy, Lt. Diel.
Yeah, you got lousy taste
in friends.
I didn't like him very much.
Boy, Jim,
it's great talking to you.
Hold on a minute,
my other phone is flashing.
We got anybody out there
watching his trailer?
No. Is that where he is?
Yeah, I think so.
How long will it take
to get a warrant? You finished
with her statement?
She's burning him good.
Said she saw him kill Brego.
Take me two minutes
to get it typed up. I get
the DA to approve it...
Judge Hunnicut is over
at the courthouse.
I'll have a warrant
in 25 minutes.
And now,
I'd send a plainclothes car
out there.
In the meanwhile,
I'll try and stall him.
Sorry, Jim, but I'm breaking
in a rookie over here.
He can't even fill out
a 211 report.
So, anyway, what have
you been doing?
You out at the trailer?
We ought to get together
and try and get us
some yellowtail.
Yellowtail? What are you
talking about?
They aren't running.
Listen, Dennis,
I need a favor.
I'm trying to get all the dope
I can on a girl
named Leah Richards.
Can you punch her out
on the computer?
I'm looking for priors
or convictions. I wanna know,
you know...
what her racket is
and any known associates.
Yeah, right away.
Look, where are you?
I could run it
by on my way home.
I was gonna come out there
and pick some
of those clams...
on the pier. You know,
Nancy's been hustling me
for some steamed clams.
Dennis, what's going on?
What's wrong?
Nothing. What are you
talking about?
What are friends for, Jimbo?
There wouldn't happen to be
a warrant out for my arrest,
would there?
No, what do you mean, warrant?
Of course not.
Dennis, I thought
we were friends.
[Telephone clicking]
1-Extra-22 to Control.
We have an addition
on the 157 suspect...
at 2354,
Pacific Coast Highway.
Suspect was forced into
a light sedan
by two male Caucasians.
Request a backup
and instructions.
You guys better have
a warrant.
What are you talking about?
A warrant for my arrest.
You just can't go around
picking up people
without a warrant.
Yeah? I do it all the time.
You guys aren't cops?
How are you feeling,
Mr. Rockford?
Tell you the truth,
I'm scared to death.
Good. We'd like
to get some information.
We want to know
who hired you
to kill Carl Brego.
I didn't kill Brego,
and I'm getting
a little sick of this.
And the cops
don't believe you?
No.
Neither do I.
But I have
more pragmatic reasons.
You see...
Carl Brego just didn't need
the services
of a private detective.
We have plenty of people
who could have done
the same thing you do...
only with more efficiency.
I won't argue with that.
Then you're gonna stick
to that story?
If I could come up
with something
that sounded any better...
I'd probably use it.
Okay, Mr. Rockford.
Listen, if it helps any...
I think he was killed
by organized crime.
I'm in organized crime,
Mr. Rockford,
and I know how it works.
You see, a killing is
a very complicated thing
to arrange.
Your case, for instance.
I had to submit your name
and my reasons for wanting you
hit to two of my superiors.
They figured
you were just a trigger-man...
and that if someone
were to pay
for killing my cousin...
it should be the man
who ordered it done.
They okayed the contract,
with the provision
that I face you first...
and give you the opportunity
to give me the name
of the man who hired you.
Something you failed to do.
We've just completed
that phase.
And now, I'm gonna leave you
with these two gentlemen...
and they'll take you
to a suitable spot...
and finish the job.
All right.
I'll give you what you want.
I'm listening.
You guys know Tom Beceda?
He's out of the country.
He'd heard of my work
and he wanted me
to smoke Carl for him.
Check it out. There's a phone
in the other office.
Call New York.
You know, I don't
believe this, of course...
but I'm gonna check it out.
You know,
you have a very creative mind.
(policeman)
Stop! Police!
Freeze.
[Grunts]
[Thudding]
You got here just in time.
They were gonna kill me.
I owed that guy one.
The old guy got confused
and tried to run
into the closet over there.
I gotta take you in, Jim.
Hey, come on, Dennis.
On what charge?
Murder. We got an eyewitness.
Says she saw you kill him.
Leah Richards?
Right.
Could you get them to
close the door? I wanna
talk to you in private.
Close the door
on your way out.
Put them in the car.
I need some time.
Just give me a
couple of hours. I know
I can get out from under this.
I've been set up
and I think I know who did it.
If I let you go,
I'd get busted back down
to traffic patrol.
I don't believe you did it,
but I'm a cop.
Got to take you in, Jim.
Dennis...
Would you look at that?
[Grunts]
Sorry, Dennis.
[Engine starting]
[Tires screeching]
I really don't know
what you're talking about.
What you're saying
just can't be.
I'm convinced it wasn't
a mob killing and I'm
convinced you didn't do it...
and that only leaves one
other player. Your husband.
He didn't even know
about Carl.
Where is he?
About a foot behind you
and a little
to your left, Mr. Rockford.
This just hasn't been
my day at all.
All right, Mr. Rockford...
we're gonna go shoot
a little skeet.
Mike, don't do this, please.
Things didn't work out for us,
did they?
I'm sorry.
I was only trying
to protect you.
You didn't have to kill Brego.
Yes, I did.
I got to wondering about him,
so I broke into his place
and he had...
Well, there were
some Xeroxes of...
Babe, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Can't say I wasn't hurt.
People make mistakes, honey.
But I'll be damned
if I was gonna let
you go to jail...
and Brego was gonna put you
there sooner or later.
At least that
ain't gonna happen.
Now, all we gotta do
is take care
of Mr. Rockford here...
and nobody is left
who knows who you were.
Mike, he won't say anything
about me. Really, he won't.
Once a fox gets the smell
of a henhouse,
there ain't no trusting him.
That's really very folksy,
but it's still murder.
Come on.
Mike, please don't.
Sorry, honey.
I don't want to,
but there's other problems.
I ain't about to face a rap
for murder, and Mr. Rockford
knows I killed Brego.
Let's go.
You wouldn't want
to talk a deal?
Like, maybe I take
the murder rap,
do the 20-year stretch?
You could put $100,000
in an account for me
and I'd guarantee my silence.
I'd be fixed for life,
you know. I'd get out
in maybe 10.
I'm not anxious to do time...
but I figure
10 years is a lot better
than eternity.
You'd sell me out.
No, I wouldn't.
I ain't about to trade
one blackmailer for another.
Get in the car.
You drive.
[Engine starting]
Slow down.
Think it over, Mike.
It's a good deal.
I said slow down!
That ought to be fast enough.
Now let's talk
a new deal, Mike.
You throw that gun out
the window, and we'll see
who takes the murder rap.
Slow down,
or I'll kill you right here.
Then we'd both be dead.
That wouldn't be too smart.
The keys don't come out
of the ignition
while it's moving.
It's a safety feature.
How about that for irony?
I'm not a bluffer, boy.
You stop this car,
or I'll pull the trigger.
You're not gonna shoot me,
and you know it.
[Car exploding]
Okay, I guess that wraps up
the Brego killing.
You're lucky, Rockford.
The Countess
is backing your story.
Nice lady, the Countess.
Real class.
Her name is Debbie Ryder.
She went to high school in
southern Illinois and
she likes Frankie Avalon...
so don't get yourself
in a lather, Lieutenant.
I don't like you, Rockford.
You got a smart mouth...
and you're not out
of trouble yet.
We still got a
"flight to avoid arrest"
charge hanging on you.
He's safe there on a
technicality, Lieutenant. We
never served him the warrant.
You like this jerk, don't you?
No, I don't like him.
I owe him a punch in his belly
and I can't collect
if he's doing time.
Dennis, how about Ryder?
No, not gonna make it.
He's got internal bleeding...
and the doctor says
he won't last an hour.
Can I get out of here?
Yeah.
But you better stay handy
until I get Diel cooled off.
Right.
I just heard about Mike.
They keep fooling you,
don't they?
Think everything's real.
Then when you get close enough
so you can see,
it's just made of plastic.
Mike was the
only genuine article around...
but he got hooked
on a plastic Countess.
How do you deal with that?
We're all scared to death.
I guess that's the penalty
we pay...
for living in a world
where all the price tags end
in 99 cents...
and they sell mortuary plots
on billboards
next to the freeway.
What you do
is just keep laughing.
They're gonna kiss your hand,
honey, because you
are a Countess.
Stop worrying about it.
You're playing
a big practical joke.
Just keep laughing.
Is that what you do?
You bet.
afraid of? You wanna move in
on me?
You guys aren't cops?
Not hardly.
You gotta trust somebody.
And you're applying
for the job?
[Tires screeching]
There was a man killed down
at the beach
and I was chasing the killer.
On the ground, now.
How are you feeling,
Mr. Rockford?
Tell you the truth,
I'm scared to death.
[Telephone ringing]
(Rockford on
answering machine)
This is Jim Rockford.
At the tone,
leave your name and message.
I'll get back to you.
[Beeps]
(man)
Hey, Rockford, very funny,
I ain't laughing.
You're gonna get yours.
[Rustling]
How much further, miss?
About a mile more, I think.
This is a long way
in the middle of nowhere.
(cab driver)
You just want me to drop you?
If you don't mind.
[Laughs]
I don't mind, honey.
By the way,
I'm a Scorpio,
with Pisces ascending.
How nice for you.
Yeah, it is.
Scorpios are lucky at love,
you know.
Luck has nothing
to do with it.
Pull up right there
in that clearing, please.
[Engine starting]
[Birds chirping]
Why, Countess,
you look lovely.
You know, we're going to have
to stop meeting like this.
You're not amusing, Carl.
When you come on, you just get
slightly more vulgar,
if that's possible.
Another rejection.
You know, if I keep this up,
I'm just liable to plunge
myself into analysis.
Let's hope so.
May I?
What do we have...
A tape recorder.
Surprise, surprise.
Here you are.
Thank you.
[Laughs]
You know, I get
a big kick out of you,
Countess.
You don't know
how much that pleases me.
Yeah, you have this dangerous
tendency to underrate people.
I guess it comes from hanging
out with too many phonies
and socialites.
Not like in Chicago.
Back then,
you were streetwise.
You wouldn't have pulled
a dumb trick like this.
You got some guy in the bushes
with a high-speed camera?
Sound, lights, camera, action?
Cute and kind of sweet
in a stupid way.
You work so hard
at being Cary Grant. Life just
isn't that fascinating.
And who'd know better
than you?
Okay, Countess,
you wanna talk, we'll talk,
but not out here.
You wanna talk, we'll go
in my car. It's not wired.
[Car buzzes]
[Car door closing]
Come on.
(policeman)
What are you doing here?
(policeman)
What are you doing here?
What was that?
It was a cop.
He caught me
in a fire hazard area.
Couldn't go through
that again.
Just sitting in the same car
with him made my flesh crawl.
We didn't get enough, did we?
No. Now we need
the soundtrack.
[Sighs]
Look at that. I haven't been
that nervous
since I left Chicago.
You certainly reduce things
to their
lowest common denominator.
It's a plastic world.
If you don't like it
that way...
I can give it to you
in a cheese glass, Countess.
My name is Deborah Ryder.
Let's add it up.
I talked to a friend of mine.
He used to work
with him back East.
The rumor is that he's got
nine scalps hanging
from his belt.
If I'm gonna stay involved...
you're gonna have to keep me
better informed
about what's going on.
You know all you need to know.
I'm being blackmailed.
I need some help
in getting rid of the man.
You surely don't expect me
to tell you
what he's got on me.
That would be stupid.
I just might wind up
with two blackmailers
instead of one.
When were you in Chicago?
You never told me that.
Is that where you knew Carl?
I think I've had enough
for today.
If you'll just tell me what's
going on, maybe I can tie
a can to his tail.
I need that much leverage
to make it work. You've got
to trust somebody.
And you're applying
for the job? How sweet.
Try that one.
You know,
Arnold thinks that...
we should spend
the whole season in Europe...
and I'm beginning to think
he's right.
We did get to know
quite a few titled people...
and LA is getting quite tacky.
Did you meet the Countess
in Europe?
I met her at Marineland.
How strange.
I run the hot dog concession
next to the
killer whale exhibit.
The Countess loves
my foot-longs.
I make them great.
Lots of chili and hot mustard.
I have a secret, you know.
I precook the hot dogs...
then I wrap them
in cellophane.
That's the secret. Cellophane.
Keeps them from getting tough.
Would you excuse me?
Yes.
[Woman laughing]
(Ryder)
You're Jim Rockford,
aren't you?
The Countess told me
all about you. I'm Mike Ryder.
Hi, Mike. It's a nice party.
If you want my opinion,
they're a bunch
of social-climbing creeps...
but it fills up the place,
so what's the difference?
[All cheering]
Who's the one cavorting
in the pool?
That's Carl Brego,
land development syndicator.
Countess says
she knew you in school.
Yeah, right. School.
Then you knew her
before she was a countess.
Yeah. Well,
it's kind of hard...
to get used to calling
her that, the Countess.
She doesn't like to be called
the Countess.
When she married me, she lost
her title. She wants to be
called Mrs. Ryder.
Look at that.
That's Sally Norris.
Her daddy's a big investor
in one of my oil fields.
She's only 17.
I got half a mind to go
over there and hand
that big ape his head.
He looks like
he might be hard to take.
I saw him go after
a guy at a party once.
He pretends to shake your hand
and then tries to kick
your kneecap off.
Excuse me,
I'm gonna break that up.
[Woman laughing]
[People laughing]
You were right, you know.
I first met Carl Brego
in Chicago 15 years ago.
Even then
you could tell he was crazy.
I was 18, fresh off the bus
from southern Illinois.
Got a job in a restaurant.
Didn't know it, but the mob
used the place
as a numbers drop.
Carl Brego was the bagman.
He used to come in every day
at noon and pick up
an order to go.
You thought he was picking up
tuna sandwiches for his boss?
Then I met a man
who was handsome,
sophisticated.
I fell madly in love.
Same old story.
He was a roper
for the syndicate.
He didn't care anything
about me,
except as merchandise.
Later on, I found out
it was Carl Brego
who'd teed me up.
Are you following me?
Yeah.
Three years later
I was arrested
by the Chicago police.
I got out on bail...
and I was so scared
that I'd go to jail, I ran.
I had a friend who helped me
get a passport
under a different name.
Changed my appearance,
lost 15 pounds,
went to Europe.
And then I met Count Bertoli
and he married me.
And there I was,
La Contessa Bertoli.
Anyway, after the Count died,
I met Mike in Florence.
He was like
a breath of fresh air.
We were married,
and we came back here.
One day, at a party
in Bel Air...
two months ago,
there was Carl Brego.
Did he approach you right off?
He didn't recognize me.
I could tell
he was troubled about it.
And then, a month later,
he must have put it
all together...
because I met him
at another party
and he asked me to dance.
While we were on the
dance floor, he began...
to whisper profanities
into my ear.
He must have some kind of
connection with the
Chicago police force...
because he's got a Xerox
of my whole file.
He showed it to me.
I think you should tell Mike.
I think he can stand it.
Mike was born in a hovel.
He never made it past
the fifth grade.
He made a fortune
and he married a countess.
That's not why he married me,
but it's important to him.
I would like to save that
for him.
And maybe save it
for yourself, too?
I think I like you.
You certainly aren't impressed
by the fact
that I once had a title.
I knew a guy a while back.
He was a torpedo
for the mob...
and he had little
business cards printed up...
and on it,
it said
"independent contractor"...
and then his name,
and under that
it said "hit man."
That's really the only title
that ever impressed me.
Now, you're just a girl
from southern Illinois...
and if you want,
I'll try and help you.
[Seagulls cawing]
[Leah laughing]
[Carl laughing]
[Leah continues laughing]
The Sewards aren't here.
I'm renting.
I said...
I heard what you said, Carl.
Have we met before, sport?
No.
Who is it, Carl?
Shut up, Leah.
Look, you got some business
with me, or you just looking
in the window?
I got a message
from the Countess.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
You don't wanna talk in front
of Leah, sport.
I'm gonna make you look bad.
Is that so?
Well, won't be the first time.
(Leah)
Where are you going, Carl?
Okay, friend,
what's the message?
Well, I'll tell you, Carl.
It's like this.
I'm taking over the account.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
I know about
the Countess and Chicago.
I'm running a little low
on funds, so I'll start
squeezing her myself.
So I thought maybe
you and I should have
a little understanding...
clear the decks first.
See, I don't like
getting bumped in the curves.
So, if I see you
hanging around her again...
I'm gonna come down here
and pound your mouth
full of sand...
and drop you off
the end of the pier.
Hey, pal, slow down.
What are you getting
all excited about?
I don't know what
you're talking about,
I really don't.
I've also got you
on videotape.
Like a screen test, kind of?
Yeah, sort of.
And what happens if I tell you
to shinny up a rope?
The videotape goes
to the cops.
It seems to me
that it would put you
out of business, too.
I'm reckless.
[Laughing]
I like you, sport.
You got guts.
I've also got
the Countess concession.
Right. You got it.
Hey, be my guest.
See, I was only shaking
her down for the fun of it.
You know, I kind of like
to see her squirm.
She's a phony.
Listen, you got my blessings.
You know what?
I hope you jerk her under.
[Grunting]
Okay, you're through,
hot shot. Come on.
You want some? Come on.
You want a little bit?
Come on, you wanna move in
on me?
Come on, now.
Here we go. Don't be afraid.
[Grunts]
[Gun firing]
How about that?
[Seagulls cawing]
[Exclaiming]
[Engine starting]
[Tires screeching]
[Engine starting]
[Police siren wailing]
Okay, mister, on the ground.
There was a man killed down
at the beach
and I was chasing the killer.
On the ground, now.
I told you,
I was chasing the guy
that killed him.
1-Mary-10 to Control.
I have your 157 suspect
in custody.
Send a backup
and put out a Code 4.
A 157?
What are you talking about?
I didn't kill anybody.
I told you,
I was chasing the guy.
He was driving
a white Porsche.
He did the killing.
I got a lieutenant coming.
You can tell him.
Well?
That's the man.
He's the one
we saw at the beach.
I was on the beach.
I saw these people,
but I didn't kill anybody.
Listen, you knock it off
for a minute.
You'll get your chance.
Is there anything else?
It did look like
they were fighting.
Oh, yeah?
How about that?
Lieutenant, if you just
ask them about the rifle...
we can clear this thing
up in a hurry.
I wanna know if
you were fighting with Brego
when he got killed.
Yeah, sort of.
Sort of?
Okay, I was fighting with him,
but I wasn't trying
to kill him.
He was a very dangerous man.
We got a file on Brego
two inches thick.
Brego was a flip-top.
If you were fighting,
you can bet
he was trying to kill you.
He'd have caved your head in
and sent you out
with the tide.
He was shot
with a rifle from a cliff.
I saw these people,
but I wasn't carrying a rifle.
Did he have a rifle?
No.
Did he have a pistol?
He could have.
As a matter of fact,
he did have something
in his hand.
He was shot with a rifle.
I didn't have a rifle.
Now, I wanna get out of here.
According to the coroner,
he was shot...
with a 7.65 mm slug.
It could have come out
of anything.
A rifle, a pistol.
Of course,
there's no way of telling...
'cause the slug was a dumdum
and it's in a hundred pieces.
Where's my lawyer?
Is Rockford's attorney
out there yet?
(woman)
Not yet, sir.
Nope.
Thanks very much
for coming in.
Just down the hallway
and to the left.
Doesn't look good,
Mr. Rockford.
No, sir, it doesn't look good
at all.
You got a right to consult
with your attorney,
but I got a suggestion.
Well, let me guess.
If I confess,
you'll get me off
with 20 to life...
and then you'll make sure that
the warden puts me in a cell
with color TV.
Tell you what. I'll call
the DA in here,
and we'll settle this quick.
You were fighting with Brego.
Brego pulled a piece...
you took it away from him,
the gun went off.
Involuntary manslaughter.
We plead it before a judge.
You end up maybe doing a year,
county time.
Come on, Lieutenant.
I didn't come down
with yesterday's rain.
You got a
very creaky case here,
all of it circumstantial.
You don't have a motive...
and those two old people
aren't gonna make
good witnesses.
A good attorney could blow
them off in 10 minutes.
You yardbird lawyers
really hand me a laugh.
I told you
I got a call from Brego.
He didn't give me his name
on the phone,
but he wanted to retain me.
So I went down to the beach
to meet him.
When I got there, I knew
who he was and told him
I didn't work for hoods.
So he blew his stack
and started swinging.
Next thing I knew,
there was a shot
and he went down.
You're crud, Rockford.
You know it and I know it.
You got a record
and you done time.
The courts ain't gonna waste
much time with you.
You're gonna get down
the chute in a hurry.
Let's go.
Where have you been, Beth?
I was in court,
filing a report on a felony,
hit-and-run.
I got here as fast as I could.
I'm gonna turn him over
to the jailer.
You can talk to him there.
Hold on a second, Lieutenant.
Let me finish
this A.R. Report.
This is all you have?
Okay, Lieutenant...
I haven't spoken
to my client yet, but I think
you can ease off a little.
Is that so, honey?
I'm an attorney,
Lieutenant Diel.
I expect to be treated
as such.
My name is Ms. Davenport.
You call me "honey" again,
you'll hear about it
from your captain.
I'm still gonna book
this jailbird.
For what?
Material witness, for now.
No, you're not.
You're gonna book him
for murder one.
Beth.
Shut up, Jim.
Look, I'm gonna book...
You want him as a witness.
He'll stipulate to that
and I'll guarantee
his presence in court...
if this thing
ever gets to court.
(Davenport)
Carl Brego was a hoodlum.
You and I both know
he was probably killed
by the underworld.
But if you book
Mr. Rockford...
as a material witness
under these circumstances...
I'm going to bring action
against you and this
department for harassment...
and you will end up
getting your next promotion...
around the
turn of the century.
Wait here a minute.
Beth, murder one?
Are you nuts?
You gotta push them.
I don't think they
can make it, and it's
the only charge they have.
We'll see.
Isn't that
a little dangerous?
Yes.
[Sighs]
All right, Ms. Davenport.
We're not gonna book him yet.
Come on, Jim. Let's go.
I'm gonna be
on you like a bad case of flu.
You get even close
to an airport or bus station
and you're gonna be in here...
reading the graffiti.
What about the girl, Leah?
If the cops turn her up,
she could be
a problem for you...
especially if she heard
you threaten him.
Let's just hope
they don't find her.
You're parked in a red zone.
I always do that.
They never give tickets
in front
of the police station.
It's a psychological
neutral zone.
I gotta get a new attorney.
What do you mean?
You're out, aren't you?
But you haven't thrown
the hook yet.
Diel isn't sure about you.
He'd like it to be you...
because that would be easy
and satisfy his tidiness urge.
He's got a case,
but it's not good enough.
He'll never get a booking
with it, but it's close.
So, all he's got to do is
to get Mr. And Mrs...
What's their name?
Tibbett.
Tibbett.
To say that they saw you
with a gun in your hand.
Then there's also the
possibility that whoever
really killed him...
Jim?
Yeah.
Did you kill him?
That's just great.
What is that?
Kind of an afterthought?
I'm sorry,
it's just
a routine attorney's question.
There's the possibility
that whoever
really killed him...
is gonna pony up
a fake witness against you,
just to clear the books.
You have
any more comforting thoughts?
I've gotta get back to court.
I'll call you tonight.
Thanks for fitting me
in, Beth.
I really appreciate it.
[Beeps]
Countess, I want
to talk to you.
Just a minute, Jim.
I've only got five minutes
left of my lesson. Okay, Terry
Now.
You heard
the Countess, buddy.
This can't wait.
If the Countess says
five minutes,
it can wait five minutes.
All right, I don't want
to interrupt. You go ahead
and play, and I'll talk.
The cops think
I killed Carl Brego.
He was shot dead on the beach
about four hours ago.
Course, I didn't kill him,
but since you're the one
that sent me to meet him...
I just have to think that
you were trying to set me up
to take a murder rap.
Terry, would you
excuse us, please?
Who is this guy?
No, go ahead
and finish your lesson.
I hate to interrupt.
Terry, you can go now.
That's all for today.
Are you okay, Countess?
You want,
I can run this guy off.
I wouldn't try it, Terry.
I'm in a bad mood today.
I'm liable to make you eat
the tennis balls
in that basket.
Now, you gather the rest
of your things and scoot.
What do you mean,
"Carl's dead"?
You know he's dead.
You sent me down there
to get nominated for it.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
That frame wasn't quite
tight enough. I managed
to squeeze out from under it.
But I'm walking around
on a very thin pass.
Jim, you didn't...
Tell the police about you?
No. Not yet.
I'm on my way down there now.
I'm gonna give you
about a minute
and a half, Countess...
to convince me
you didn't set me up.
But I'm warning you...
you better make it good...
'cause I'm not working
for you now,
I'm working for me.
All right.
Just give me a minute.
I need time to think.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I'll see you, Countess.
Please. Look,
I didn't set you up.
You promised me
you wouldn't tell anybody
about Chicago.
You gave me your word,
or I wouldn't have told you.
I said I'd protect you
if you didn't lie to me.
I didn't lie to you.
Carl's death is a shock to me.
I swear to you that
I had nothing to do with it.
Come on,
you're gonna have to do
better than that.
And the police
won't believe you either...
particularly when I tell them
that your motive
was blackmail.
No, your best bet
to stay out of prison is
to plead temporary insanity.
Who knows, you may get lucky.
They'll toss you in
one of those
head-basket wards.
I'll deny it.
With Carl dead, there's no way
to prove anything.
They'll never believe you.
Come on, honey,
I got you on videotape.
Remember?
Carl taking the purse
from you, all that?
Please wait. Listen.
I'll buy the tape.
I'll pay you.
I'll pay you anything
you want.
All right. How about $100,000?
I really misjudged you,
didn't I?
You crawled out
from under a rock.
You see, I've got this
little problem. Every time
I get indicted for murder...
I seem to lose all my manners.
All right.
I'll raise the money somehow.
But you've got to promise me
to give me the videotapes
and keep your mouth shut.
You will?
I said I'd pay you.
I don't have the
videotapes anymore.
Somebody erased them.
I thought it was you,
but I guess it wasn't.
I told you the truth.
Now you have to keep
your promise, too.
I just don't know where
to go now. I thought it
was a gang killing.
Do you know a girl
by the name of Leah?
No.
I might find out something
from her about Carl.
He was living with her,
dating her, something.
I don't know.
You'll keep your promise?
You won't tell the police?
Let me put it
this way, Debbie.
I'm never too sure
just how much character
I've got.
In a pinch,
I start groping
for alternatives.
I'll probably sell you out
before I take a rap
for murder.
If you can help me, you'd
better get your little coffee
can and start bailing...
'cause if I go down,
you go down.
Chivalry is really dead,
isn't it?
I know.
[Clattering]
[Seagulls cawing]
(Becker)
Becker.
Hey, Dennis, Jim Rockford.
Say, Jim, how you been?
Heard you got into
a little tiff
with my buddy, Lt. Diel.
Yeah, you got lousy taste
in friends.
I didn't like him very much.
Boy, Jim,
it's great talking to you.
Hold on a minute,
my other phone is flashing.
We got anybody out there
watching his trailer?
No. Is that where he is?
Yeah, I think so.
How long will it take
to get a warrant? You finished
with her statement?
She's burning him good.
Said she saw him kill Brego.
Take me two minutes
to get it typed up. I get
the DA to approve it...
Judge Hunnicut is over
at the courthouse.
I'll have a warrant
in 25 minutes.
And now,
I'd send a plainclothes car
out there.
In the meanwhile,
I'll try and stall him.
Sorry, Jim, but I'm breaking
in a rookie over here.
He can't even fill out
a 211 report.
So, anyway, what have
you been doing?
You out at the trailer?
We ought to get together
and try and get us
some yellowtail.
Yellowtail? What are you
talking about?
They aren't running.
Listen, Dennis,
I need a favor.
I'm trying to get all the dope
I can on a girl
named Leah Richards.
Can you punch her out
on the computer?
I'm looking for priors
or convictions. I wanna know,
you know...
what her racket is
and any known associates.
Yeah, right away.
Look, where are you?
I could run it
by on my way home.
I was gonna come out there
and pick some
of those clams...
on the pier. You know,
Nancy's been hustling me
for some steamed clams.
Dennis, what's going on?
What's wrong?
Nothing. What are you
talking about?
What are friends for, Jimbo?
There wouldn't happen to be
a warrant out for my arrest,
would there?
No, what do you mean, warrant?
Of course not.
Dennis, I thought
we were friends.
[Telephone clicking]
1-Extra-22 to Control.
We have an addition
on the 157 suspect...
at 2354,
Pacific Coast Highway.
Suspect was forced into
a light sedan
by two male Caucasians.
Request a backup
and instructions.
You guys better have
a warrant.
What are you talking about?
A warrant for my arrest.
You just can't go around
picking up people
without a warrant.
Yeah? I do it all the time.
You guys aren't cops?
How are you feeling,
Mr. Rockford?
Tell you the truth,
I'm scared to death.
Good. We'd like
to get some information.
We want to know
who hired you
to kill Carl Brego.
I didn't kill Brego,
and I'm getting
a little sick of this.
And the cops
don't believe you?
No.
Neither do I.
But I have
more pragmatic reasons.
You see...
Carl Brego just didn't need
the services
of a private detective.
We have plenty of people
who could have done
the same thing you do...
only with more efficiency.
I won't argue with that.
Then you're gonna stick
to that story?
If I could come up
with something
that sounded any better...
I'd probably use it.
Okay, Mr. Rockford.
Listen, if it helps any...
I think he was killed
by organized crime.
I'm in organized crime,
Mr. Rockford,
and I know how it works.
You see, a killing is
a very complicated thing
to arrange.
Your case, for instance.
I had to submit your name
and my reasons for wanting you
hit to two of my superiors.
They figured
you were just a trigger-man...
and that if someone
were to pay
for killing my cousin...
it should be the man
who ordered it done.
They okayed the contract,
with the provision
that I face you first...
and give you the opportunity
to give me the name
of the man who hired you.
Something you failed to do.
We've just completed
that phase.
And now, I'm gonna leave you
with these two gentlemen...
and they'll take you
to a suitable spot...
and finish the job.
All right.
I'll give you what you want.
I'm listening.
You guys know Tom Beceda?
He's out of the country.
He'd heard of my work
and he wanted me
to smoke Carl for him.
Check it out. There's a phone
in the other office.
Call New York.
You know, I don't
believe this, of course...
but I'm gonna check it out.
You know,
you have a very creative mind.
(policeman)
Stop! Police!
Freeze.
[Grunts]
[Thudding]
You got here just in time.
They were gonna kill me.
I owed that guy one.
The old guy got confused
and tried to run
into the closet over there.
I gotta take you in, Jim.
Hey, come on, Dennis.
On what charge?
Murder. We got an eyewitness.
Says she saw you kill him.
Leah Richards?
Right.
Could you get them to
close the door? I wanna
talk to you in private.
Close the door
on your way out.
Put them in the car.
I need some time.
Just give me a
couple of hours. I know
I can get out from under this.
I've been set up
and I think I know who did it.
If I let you go,
I'd get busted back down
to traffic patrol.
I don't believe you did it,
but I'm a cop.
Got to take you in, Jim.
Dennis...
Would you look at that?
[Grunts]
Sorry, Dennis.
[Engine starting]
[Tires screeching]
I really don't know
what you're talking about.
What you're saying
just can't be.
I'm convinced it wasn't
a mob killing and I'm
convinced you didn't do it...
and that only leaves one
other player. Your husband.
He didn't even know
about Carl.
Where is he?
About a foot behind you
and a little
to your left, Mr. Rockford.
This just hasn't been
my day at all.
All right, Mr. Rockford...
we're gonna go shoot
a little skeet.
Mike, don't do this, please.
Things didn't work out for us,
did they?
I'm sorry.
I was only trying
to protect you.
You didn't have to kill Brego.
Yes, I did.
I got to wondering about him,
so I broke into his place
and he had...
Well, there were
some Xeroxes of...
Babe, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Can't say I wasn't hurt.
People make mistakes, honey.
But I'll be damned
if I was gonna let
you go to jail...
and Brego was gonna put you
there sooner or later.
At least that
ain't gonna happen.
Now, all we gotta do
is take care
of Mr. Rockford here...
and nobody is left
who knows who you were.
Mike, he won't say anything
about me. Really, he won't.
Once a fox gets the smell
of a henhouse,
there ain't no trusting him.
That's really very folksy,
but it's still murder.
Come on.
Mike, please don't.
Sorry, honey.
I don't want to,
but there's other problems.
I ain't about to face a rap
for murder, and Mr. Rockford
knows I killed Brego.
Let's go.
You wouldn't want
to talk a deal?
Like, maybe I take
the murder rap,
do the 20-year stretch?
You could put $100,000
in an account for me
and I'd guarantee my silence.
I'd be fixed for life,
you know. I'd get out
in maybe 10.
I'm not anxious to do time...
but I figure
10 years is a lot better
than eternity.
You'd sell me out.
No, I wouldn't.
I ain't about to trade
one blackmailer for another.
Get in the car.
You drive.
[Engine starting]
Slow down.
Think it over, Mike.
It's a good deal.
I said slow down!
That ought to be fast enough.
Now let's talk
a new deal, Mike.
You throw that gun out
the window, and we'll see
who takes the murder rap.
Slow down,
or I'll kill you right here.
Then we'd both be dead.
That wouldn't be too smart.
The keys don't come out
of the ignition
while it's moving.
It's a safety feature.
How about that for irony?
I'm not a bluffer, boy.
You stop this car,
or I'll pull the trigger.
You're not gonna shoot me,
and you know it.
[Car exploding]
Okay, I guess that wraps up
the Brego killing.
You're lucky, Rockford.
The Countess
is backing your story.
Nice lady, the Countess.
Real class.
Her name is Debbie Ryder.
She went to high school in
southern Illinois and
she likes Frankie Avalon...
so don't get yourself
in a lather, Lieutenant.
I don't like you, Rockford.
You got a smart mouth...
and you're not out
of trouble yet.
We still got a
"flight to avoid arrest"
charge hanging on you.
He's safe there on a
technicality, Lieutenant. We
never served him the warrant.
You like this jerk, don't you?
No, I don't like him.
I owe him a punch in his belly
and I can't collect
if he's doing time.
Dennis, how about Ryder?
No, not gonna make it.
He's got internal bleeding...
and the doctor says
he won't last an hour.
Can I get out of here?
Yeah.
But you better stay handy
until I get Diel cooled off.
Right.
I just heard about Mike.
They keep fooling you,
don't they?
Think everything's real.
Then when you get close enough
so you can see,
it's just made of plastic.
Mike was the
only genuine article around...
but he got hooked
on a plastic Countess.
How do you deal with that?
We're all scared to death.
I guess that's the penalty
we pay...
for living in a world
where all the price tags end
in 99 cents...
and they sell mortuary plots
on billboards
next to the freeway.
What you do
is just keep laughing.
They're gonna kiss your hand,
honey, because you
are a Countess.
Stop worrying about it.
You're playing
a big practical joke.
Just keep laughing.
Is that what you do?
You bet.