The Rockford Files (1974–1980): Season 1, Episode 11 - Caledonia - It's Worth a Fortune! - full transcript

You're honest, dependable,
and an ex-con.

That's what I need,
someone I can depend on.

I'd like to know how long
it'd take you

to get off this property
and out of Caledonia.

Fifteen minutes sound
about right?
Why don't you make it 10?

I know those two guys.

They were
in the same cell block
as Jerry and me.

They like to hurt people.

Do you know what you do?
What?

You apologize, all the time.
I'm sorry.

[Telephone ringing]



(Rockford on
answering machine)
This is Jim Rockford.

At the tone, leave your name
and message.

I'll get back to you.

[Beeps]

(Dr. Jones)
It's Doc Jones. What'd you do
to the hand, son?

Three fractured knuckles.
You hit somebody?

(Watkins)
Your husband is
still very weak, Mrs. Hyland.

I can only give you a moment
with him.

(Jolene)
Jerry.

Closer.

Caledonia.

California.

Worth a fortune.
No talking.

You gonna talk,
we got to hear.



Keep your voice down.

Jolene...

[breathing heavily]

I'm sorry, Mrs. Hyland.
You'll have to leave now.

Remember.

I'll remember, Jerry.

(Wilson)
That's her.

I'm telling you.
Lennie's the one
we should be on.

She's Hyland's wife.
She don't know nothing.

He can't tell her
nothing in there.
They're watching him.

Let's go after Lennie.
We stay with the honey.

She knows where Hyland's
got it stashed.

Now, we're going to see
where she goes.

(Jolene)
How far is it?

(Rockford)
A few more miles.

What if it's not there?
What if we can't find it?

Relax.

It's only worth
half a million dollars.

Could be more. Could be less.

Well, Jerry did say a fortune.

What's wrong?

I think we've picked up
a tail.

Anybody else
know about Caledonia?

No.

[Tires squealing]

[Engine revving]

[Siren wailing]

Could you give me
the negative on that one?

Give me the negatives
on all of them.

Know what kind of
political hay they can make
with a picture like that?

"Sheriff closes eyes
to crime."

(Rockford)
Morning, Sheriff.
Take a seat over there.

How about one of you
looking at
the wanted poster?

Oh, no.

Show people half your face,
they figure you got
something to hide.

You shoot me straight on.

I want a picture
that'll scare off
the criminal element...

but not scare the voters.

Okay, Gib, you go on down
and get those things
developed.

And Gib, you bring me
all the negatives.

Sure, Homer. See you later.

[Sighs]

Coming up for re-election?

Your name's Rockford?
That's right.

When we ran into your deputy
just outside of town,
we were on our way to see you.

That'll cost you $17.50.

Well, now.

You said that you wanted to
see me about something?

What about?
Gerald Hyland.

Well, Hyland was in Caledonia
about four years ago.

He's doing time now
for a swindle he pulled.

You were
the arresting officer.
So?

So we were hoping that you'd
give us some of the details
of the arrest.

Why?

This is Mrs. Hyland.
She'd like to know.

Was you Mrs. Hyland
four years ago?

Yes.

Sure took you a long time
to work up a curiosity,
didn't it?

What's your interest in this?

I'm working for Mrs. Hyland.

Private investigator?

Private investigator.

Which means, if I
don't tell you everything...

you're going to go
snooping around
the old newspaper files...

until you find
chapter and verse on it.

Probably.

Why don't I save you time...

and Mrs. Hyland some money?

Four years ago, Gerald Hyland
came through here...

doing 70 to 75 miles an hour.

Right through
the middle of town.

You arrested him for speeding?

You bet your life on it.

I'd of thrown the book
at him, too.

Except, I was looking through
my old wanteds...

and found that the LAPD
had a warrant out on him.

So I just kept him here
till they came after him.

That's all there was to it.

I was so sure
Jerry hid it in Caledonia.

That's what he said,
"Caledonia, California.
Worth a fortune."

But if he was arrested
for speeding...
He wasn't.

But the Sheriff just said...
The Sheriff played it
all wrong.

That had to be
the biggest bust in his life.

He should've sat us down on
cracker barrels and bored us
with every detail.

But he wrapped it up
in a couple of sentences.

I called a friend of mine
in Sacramento.

And I had him punch it out
on a computer.

Your husband was arrested
for trespassing.

He was picked up
at a little place

right outside of town
called Alberson's Farm.

There it is.

Jerry must've buried it
out here.

There'd be no other reason
why he'd be wandering around
some old farm.

Do you think Sheriff Prouty
knows about it?

(Rockford)
Probably. He saw the warrant
that was out on your husband.

He ripped off, what was it,
about $4 million?

But Jerry turned that
money in. He made
complete restitution.

Whatever he's buried,
belongs to him.

Where do we start?
We don't.

But it's here.
So is Sheriff Prouty.

You're on private property,
mister, and that's
trespassing.

Sheriff Prouty.
We didn't expect to
see you out here.

Yes, I'll bet you didn't.

But you see,
this whole county's
my territory.

Now, would you mind explaining
what you're doing here?

We're on, what you might call,
a sentimental journey.

Mrs. Hyland wanted to
retrace her husband's
footsteps

during his last hours
of freedom.

This is where you
arrested him, isn't it?

I'm the one
that asks all the questions.

Well, I'm sorry.
Just what was it
you'd like to know?

I'd like to know how long
it'd take you

to get off this property
and out of Caledonia.

Fifteen minutes sound
about right?
Why don't you make it 10?

(Jolene)
Don't you think
you should've said something?

(Rockford)
Like what?

Like, "You have no right
to run us out of town."

That never occurred to me.

You're not afraid of him,
are you?

Me? No.

I just don't think
I'd like his jail, that's all.

[Cash register rings]

I don't want to
seem ungrateful,

but I could've gotten
run out of town by myself.

That's why I hired you,
so that things like that
wouldn't happen.

I'll knock 25% off my bill
and I'll only charge you
for half a day.

You're not quitting?
You can't quit.
We have to go back there.

Why?

Because it's there. A fortune.

Well, so is Sheriff Prouty.
Let's just table that problem
for the moment.

Let's say it is buried
on Alberson's farm.

Do you know how many acres
there are on that farm?

We could be looking
under artichokes for 10 years

and never come up
with anything.

Jerry told me
as much as he could.
Well, it's not enough.

But I have to find it.

Whatever it is,
it's worth a lot of money.
And I need money.

You see, a good lawyer
could get Jerry out on parole.

And then maybe
a heart specialist could...

Well, it's the only chance
he has.

I have to do it for him.

I'm sorry, Jolene.

[Gasps]
Gotcha.

Len!

[Sighing]
How have you been, Jolene?

Let's get inside.

Give me a real welcome.

Just set it anywhere.

You look good, baby.

I knew you were out.

Yeah? How'd you know?

I have a calendar.

Hey, look...

I never thought it was fair,
Jerry getting two more years
than me.

It wasn't your fault.

Have you seen him?

No. Not since they put him
in the hospital.

It's pretty bad?

It's good to see you, Len.

Okay.

I'll settle for dinner.

This is nice.
But it looks
very expensive.

I could've fixed
some dinner at home.

Yeah, only,
I wanted to celebrate.
And you're a terrible cook.

Well, thanks for remembering.

I got a good memory.

Have you got any plans?

Oh, I'll get
something together.

Straight?

Why? Am I supposed to be
reformed or something?

Let me worry about business.
You worry about us.

Len, I've had four years
to think about
what happened between us.

Even if Jerry had known
what was going on with us,
he wouldn't have cared.

Now, that's not
putting you down,
that's a fact.

He only cared about
whatever con he happened to be
working on. You know that.

Well, that's an explanation.
Not an excuse.

Who's looking for an excuse?

I am.

Maybe we better order now.

It's like that, huh?

Okay. We'll order.

I understand they
let you in to see Jerry.

Yeah. Just for a minute.

What did he have to say?

Nothing very much.
You know, he's pretty weak.

Well, I mean,
he must've said something.

Like what?

Well, you know, like...

Like what, Len?

Like where he buried
$746,000...

in rare stamps.

(Jolene)
I told him I'd think about it.

He wants 50%.
Give it to him.

Those stamps are worth
three quarters
of a million dollars.

They don't belong to Len,
they belong to Jerry.

Why'd he tell Len
where to find them?
He didn't.

All Len has is
a written set of directions...

that don't mean a thing
unless I tell him
where to look.

Jerry couldn't take a chance
on giving me that paper.

Not with the guard
watching us.

So he gave it to Len
before he went
into the hospital.

Yeah, well.

He has the directions
and you have the location.
Right?

And one's not any good
without the other?

You better work together
or forget the whole thing.

You know,
I don't understand Len.
Prison didn't help him at all.

Was it supposed to?

They put him in there
for swindling.

You wouldn't think
he'd still be
pulling the same con.

No, you'd have thought
he might have picked up
some new ones.

I called the AMA,
and they gave me a list
of really good doctors.

And I've got one for Jerry.

A specialist by the name of
Dr. Leland B. Harris.

A specialist costs
a lot of money.

I knew I'd run into
some kind of trouble,

but I never thought
it would be from Len.

He was Jerry's partner.

Why don't you just
give him the 50%?

It's a lot better
than 100% of nothing.

Because I don't trust him.

If I went to Caledonia
with Len by myself,
he'd rip it all off.

I wouldn't end up
with bus fare home.

So you need protection.
Yes, for 5%.

Of $746,000?

Seems fair.
Good.

You have to get directions
from Len.

He'll have them
written down someplace.

That's not the kind of thing
he'd trust to his memory.

I have his address.

Once we get those directions,
we'll find it.

Yeah.

But first, I have to find
the keys to my car.

What happened?

I don't know. I think
we better find out.

There's a police officer
right here.

We ask a cop,
we won't get any answers,

but we might get
a trip downtown.

But I'd just as soon
not explain

how we're tied in
with Leonard Blair.

[Radio chattering]

(Jolene)
It's Len.

Who're you looking for?

An indignant man
with an authority complex.

Why?
He'll be the motel manager.

And there he is.
That's where we
get our answers.

Hey, looks like
you lost a tenant.

[Laughs]

Just checked in
a couple of days ago.
Hell of a way to check out.

Is he hurt badly?
No. He just got beat up.

The room is in worse shape
than he is.

This looks like this
probably used to be
a pretty good neighborhood.

It still is.

Yeah, that guy they took out
in the meat wagon
might give you an argument.

He'll probably be
in traction for a month.

No, they're just keeping him
in the hospital overnight,
that's all.

Hey, you really got
plugged into this thing quick,
didn't you?

Of course.

I run this place.
I got to know what's going on.

Insurance inspectors,
the owner.

What went on here's
got nothing to do
with the neighborhood.

Couple of thugs
come in off the street,
start tearing up the place.

That kind of thing goes on
all the time everywhere.

Not in Mineola.
Law and order town.

L.A. Ain't doing
too bad, mister.

Did the police catch the men?
Did they catch them?

They almost did.

I called the cops,
but the sirens
tipped them off.

They came running
out of here just before
the black and white pulled in.

They're just a little too late
to help your tenant out.

He gets beaten senseless,
probably lost every penny
he had in his pocket.

He picked up
a couple of lousy bruises...

and he didn't lose
one lousy dime.

If you're so hot on Mineola,
why don't you just...

go on back there?

Not on your life. You
never get this kind of action
in Mineola.

If those men
didn't steal money from Len,

they must've been
after the directions.

Your husband talks too much.

What if they found them?

It's still only
half an equation.

And your information is
what makes it work.

We can't go back
to your apartment.

They probably got it
staked out.

I've got to get you
in some safe place...

until we can get in contact
with your friend, Len.

I think I'd rather
negotiate with him

than the two gorillas
that worked him over.

And I sure don't want them
getting to you.

(Rockford)
He couldn't have been
hurt too bad.

He's out here
hitting golf balls.

(Jolene)
Len will play golf
in a hurricane.

Do you see him?
No, I don't.

Maybe he's around
on the other side.

[Swishing]

That's him.

Will you do the talking?

Yeah, don't worry about it.
I'll handle it.
Just leave it to me.

Who's he?

I'm...
He's with me.

I can see that. Who is he?

I'm...
Jim Rockford. He's my partner.

Well, if you want to give him
part of your end, that's okay.

Now, wait a minute, Len.

You keep talking about 50-50,
like that's something
we agreed on.

I'm not giving you 50%.
No, baby,
you're not giving it.

I'm taking it.

What did Jerry promise you,
10%?

Jerry's got nothing
to do with it.
It's his property.

I'm...

I'm going to hit
a few golf balls.

Any time you want to deal me
into this conversation,
I'll be right over there.

You negotiate with him, Len,
or not at all.

Okay. What's the deal?

Well, whatever's fair.
There's three of us,
we'll split it three ways.

We'll each take 33.3%.

That is the most...
That's the deal.

You're cutting yourself
a pretty big piece

of something that
doesn't belong to you.

So are you.

Okay, it's a deal.
But you got to give me
the name of the town.

I give you
the name of the town,

you take off
like a scalded cat.

Why don't you give us
the directions?
It's not going to work, is it?

Don't you trust me?

Sure, about as much
as you trust me.

Well, there is one way
it might work.
We could all go together.

Yeah, that could work. When?

Tonight. We'll pick you up.

Okay. Only, I moved.

Sleepy Hollow Motel.
It's on Barnham.

What about those two apes
that worked you over
the other day?

They went through
a lot of trouble for nothing.

You didn't, maybe,
put them onto Jolene, did you?

I know those two guys.

They were
in the same cell block
as Jerry and me.

Which is probably how
they got onto the deal.

Well, maybe, but...

they do want in, you know.

Too bad. They're not in.

So quit worrying about them.

What time tonight?

7:00?
Okay.

Make sure you're not tailed.

Well?

Hey, wait a minute.

I hired you because of
your prison record.

I thought you were a man
I could trust.

I thought I handled that
rather well.

I didn't want to give Len 50%.

You just negotiated me down
from 50% to 33.3%.

No. I negotiated you up to
66 and two-thirds.

Less my 5%.

Len wouldn't have
bought the deal,

if I had put it to him
any other way.

Jim, I'm sorry.

I thought you were trying
to double-cross me.

Well, don't feel bad about it.
It did cross my mind.

You're not mad at me, are you?
No. Why?

Because of what I thought
back there.

No. You thought
I was a crook?

You made a normal,
logical assumption.

I had no right.
You had every right.

Well, I really
feel awful about it.
Will you forgive me?

Jolene, do you know
what you do?
What?

You apologize, all the time.
I do?

Yeah.
I'm sorry.

What's the matter?
Maybe nothing.

Well, it looks like
we're playing
follow-the-leader again.

Who are they?

I guess they're
the same two guys

who worked over
your friend, Len.

That reminds me,
I want to thank Len
for not putting them onto you.

What are we going to do?

Well, we'll try to get to Len
before they do.

They know right where he is.
They followed him
to the golf range.

But they're not after Len,
they're after us.
They're after directions.

They'll settle for
whoever's available.

Here we go.

[Engine revving]

It's okay.
I think I lost them.

You know, I felt
kind of sorry for them.

I'll pay for the ticket.

It wasn't your fault.

The cops?

Well, they had
such a terrible time
trying to figure out

how to write up the citation.

Not as terrible as I'm
going to have trying to
explain it in court.

I'm sorry.

Would you stop saying that?
It wasn't your fault.

You wouldn't say that
if you knew me better.

When I'm involved
things just seem to go wrong.

Take Jerry, for example.

All of his life, he was
a very successful man.

Until he married me.
Now look at him.

Did you talk him into
making swindling
his life's work?

Well, no. I tried to
talk him out of it.

Jerry's the one
that broke the law.

Jerry's the one
that's in jail.

As far as I'm concerned,
that makes Jerry a loser,
not you.

They got Len.

[Car doors open]

I'll lock the doors,

leave the keys
in the ignition,
just in case.

Don't go. I think
we should call the police.

I don't think Len's going to
want to wait that long
for help.

Now, lock the door.

[Thunder clapping]

[Len grunts]

(Wilson)
All right, we're listening,
Blair.

Now, we got
as long as it takes.

And the longer it takes,
the harder it's going to be
on you.

So why don't you just
tell us where it is?
I don't know where it is.

You want to work on him
this time, B.J.,
or you want that I should?

I'm telling you,
I just got half of it.

Jerry's wife's got the rest.

[Gasps]

(B.J.)
I seen you talking
to Jerry's wife.

We figure you made a deal.

We figure you got it all.

I can't tell you
what I don't know.

Okay, I'll tell you.

You start at the courthouse.

You drive due north
about 3.7 miles.

Then you go west,
it's a dirt road.

Go west 2.8 miles,
you make a hard right.

Wait a minute.
You're going too fast.

All right.

Make a hard right,
go three-tenths of a mile...

and that'll take you
to a billboard,

it's buried underneath
one of the supports.

Northeast corner.
Is that it?

That's it.
Okay. So we start
at the courthouse.

What courthouse? Where?
I don't know.

(Wilson)
We're going to start
all over with you.

Let me, Wilson.

I'm telling you.
Jerry told his wife
the name of the town.

She didn't tell me.
He didn't tell me, either.

Why would he
give you the directions

and not tell you
the name of the town?

That don't make no sense.
He didn't trust me.

He knew I'd try to
cut her out if he gave me
all the information.

Jerry knew that.

Then she went ahead
and she hired some...

second rate PI and now
I got him on my case...

or I'd still be trying
to cut her out.

Jerry gave his wife
the name of the town.
She didn't tell me.

He didn't tell me.
Nobody told me.
You're lying, buddy.

And you're going to wish
that you told us...

the truth the very first time
we asked you.

Because we are going to
bring you down.

[Engine revving]

What the... What are you
doing here?

Whatever happened to
"thank you"?

Yeah, for what?
Protecting your interests?

You're a sweetheart.
Start walking.

I'm sending the cops back
for these guys.

[B.J. Grunts]

(Len)
What about the money?

We're supposed to
get the money.

We are. You aren't.

I hate to tell you this, Len,
but you're out.

I wrote down the directions.

Talk about your sweethearts.

You know, it's the company
I keep.

Yeah. Well, I'll see you
when you get back.

Come on.

You don't really think
I told those guys the truth,
do you?

I mean, about the courthouse,
take two giant steps?

I made it up.

Well, you won't feel too hurt
if I tell you
I don't believe you.

Be my guest. Check it out.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

(Jolene)
What if somebody else
already found it?

I mean, it's been
four years.

(Rockford)
From what you told me
about your husband,

he's not going to make it
that easy to find.

You know, there's
still something that's not
really clear to me.

Could you explain to me again
how I pay you?

Do I pay you
at the end of the day

or at the end of the week
and then...

deduct that from the 5%
or what?

The 5% is a bonus.

It has nothing to do
with my regular fee.

You mean, $200 a day...

and expenses and 5%?

That's right.

Look at these blisters.
Two hours of digging
and for nothing.

When I get my hands
on that slimy,
two-timing...

I told you the directions
were no good.
You didn't convince me.

All right.
What are you sore about?

So you took a ride
and you lost a little time.
That's all.

You didn't really expect me
to cut myself out, did you?

Not after you went
to all that trouble
to cut yourself in.

It's going to be 33.3...

33.3, and 33.3.

And this time,
we all play it straight.

No argument.

Quarter of
a million dollars apiece.
Not bad.

That's not bad.

You got plans, baby?

You're not really going to
spend it all on Jerry,
are you?

Three quarters
of a million dollars.

You throw it all
down the toilet on a guy

who could hardly remember
your name.

You know why?

Because you feel guilty.

You spend
every last cent on him,
you'd still feel guilty.

You were born guilty.

At least I feel.

You're a fine one
to be mouthing off at me.

You're cutting yourself in
on something that's
none of your business.

That's Jerry's money
and he needs it.

It don't take three quarters
of a million dollars to die.

(Jolene)
Tell me something, Len.

How much money
have you got on your own?

How much?

Yeah, nothing.

That's all you've ever had.

Jerry was always the brains.

He took his money
and he made money on it.

You took yours
and you blew it.

This is the last free ride
you're ever going to
take on him.

When this is over,
I don't ever want to
see you again.

That can be arranged.
Arrange it.

You're the biggest mistake
I ever made in my life.

Okay, Len.

Where do we start?
(Len)
This it?

Yeah. This is the place.

Do you need any help?

I got all the help I need.

Come on, Rockford,
let me out.

This time, you're the one
who's out.

See, I got the directions.
I just needed
the name of the town.

And you gave it to me.
This isn't it. I lied.

I don't believe you.
I don't blame you.

I figured you'd do
something like this,

so I deliberately drove
into the wrong town.

I had to follow
your bad directions,
now you can follow mine.

You know that
little fruit stand
back down the road?

Yeah.
Jolene and I'll
wait for you there.

Nice try, Rockford.
This is the town.

You check it out.

You know, Len was right.

He's a rat,
but even rats can be right.

I do feel guilty about Jerry.
Why, because of Len?

No.

He's a mistake
I wouldn't have made
if my marriage had been right.

It wasn't.

See, Jerry didn't want a wife.

He picked me out
like you'd pick out
a used car.

I was just part of his front.

All he really cared about
was business.

You mean, swindling?

I'm not putting
all the blame on him.

I married him
for the wrong reasons, too.

What was that?

Security.

Well, well, look who's here.

Find anything?
It was the wrong town.

If you'll remember, Len,
I told you that.

This is not going to work.

It's going to work.

First...

you're going to have to
get rid of Godzilla.

[Laughs]

That's it, Len,
the negotiations are closed.

I'll see you back in L.A.

$200. Hey, you said...
I said, I'll see you
back in L.A.

Yeah. Right.
Would you hold it, pal?

Hey, what are you doing?

You can pick this up
when you see him in L.A.

Give me your right hand.

What are you doing?

Just insuring our partnership.

Before we start,
I want to get one thing clear.

This is a three-way split.

When we drive into that town,
and your memory
starts getting fuzzy...

you can't quite remember
the directions...

there's one thing
I want you to remember.

I've been known
to play very dirty.

You got something specific
in mind?

Any parole violation
would send you back
to the joint, wouldn't it?

Say, carrying
a concealed weapon?

I'm not carrying
a concealed weapon.

You will be
when the cops pick you up.

Come on, Jolene,
you're driving.

We're at city hall now,
heading north.

Okay. Check your mileage.
Turn right.

Go exactly
one tenth of a mile.

(Rockford)
Move it.

(Jolene)
Where? What are
the directions?

We're in front
of the Sheriff's office.

(Len)
Turn right.

Go three-tenths
of a mile more,
then hang a right.

Across a field?
That's what he said.

Turn right, then go six-tenths
and turn right again.

All right, Jolene.
Right there.

Okay. We can take
these things off.

But if you find you're...

starting to lose
your sense of direction...

they can go right back on.

This isn't it.

What's the matter
with you, Len?
Do you enjoy pain?

Wait a minute.
It's just over there
in the chicken shed.

Straight ahead, Jolene,
to the chicken shed.

Is that it?

Yeah, that's it.
Let's go.

Here, Len.

One, two, three, four, five.

[Clattering]

Where is it, Len?
Right here.

I got a really good lawyer
for Jerry, did I
tell you that?

No.

Come on, will you? Dig.

As soon as we get the money,
I'll pay him a retainer,

and he'll start work
right away.

He thinks we stand a chance.

[Metallic clanking]

I hit something.
I'll get it.

Why don't we let the lady
have the pleasure?

(Jolene)
Here it is.

Do you need a key?
No, I don't think so.
It's just this... Here.

"Dear Jolene and Len,
there are no stamps."

"No stamps. There
never were, but if..."

"If you're reading this,
you believed my story
and that's all that matters.

"Because, by now...

"you two hate each other.

And that is worth
a fortune to me. Jerry."

He knew.

He knew about us,
so he set me up.

He set you both up.

I got caught pretty good,
myself.

There goes the attorney.
There goes Dr. Harris.

There goes my bonus.

I'm sorry, Jim.

There you go,
saying "I'm sorry" again.

Jerry didn't know you
very well, did he?

No, I guess not.

I guess that's where
he missed out.

Isn't this sweet?
Now, can we get out of here?

(Sheriff Prouty)
Don't nobody move.

You come on
out of there. Easy.

And bring what you found
with you.

That's it. Just easy.
Move right on over there.

There you go.
Right around the shed there.

That's it.

Now.

You just hand over
what you got there.

There isn't nothing in here.

Give him the letter.

It's self-explanatory.

No money?
Never was.

I been busting my back
out here
for four solid years...

and there never was no money?

Sneaking out every night,
telling my wife I was going to
check up on things...

breaking sod
like some jackass.

When I think of
all the time that I wasted...

Sheriff.
You shut up.
You're under arrest.

You're all under arrest.
Why?

Hey, what's the charge?

Unlawful entry.

Are you sure that statute
applies to a chicken coop?

That statute applies
to any damn place
I want it to apply to.

You going to
read us our rights, Sheriff?

You're going to
hear your rights, all right.

First, you're going to hear
the charges.

Unlawful entry.

Trespassing.

Back-talking
to an officer of the law.

And illegal parking.