The Righteous Gemstones (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - For Out of the Heart Comes Evil Thoughts - full transcript

Morning.

- Mm-hmm.

- Want me to top
off your coffee?

About to brew some.

Them Colombian beans
make me panic shit,

but I will brew 'em if
that's what you're drinking.

- I'm fine. I've had my fill.

- Hey, Beej.

I've been doing everything I
can to get us back to normal.

Okay?

I've been doing joke arounds,



I've been watching food
documentaries like you like.

I don't know what else I can do.

- I think at this point,

it's up to me to
decide what to do next.

- Like leave?

BJ.

It will never happen again.

You know it won't.

I regret this more than
anything in my whole life.

- I swallow a lot.

But this...

this might be something
I can't choke down.

Now if you'll excuse me...

to clear my head,
I need to blade.



- ♪ Praise ♪

♪ Praise ♪

- Wanted to take a moment
before we leave to let you know

how much we appreciate
all you done for us.

- You guys did such a good
job straightening us out,

we're ready to go tackle
life all by ourselves.

- They're reformed.
They're ready to fuck.

We fixed 'em.

- I think it happened
when we dressed them up,

gave 'em haircuts.

- Crying 'cause
we're leaving, Judy?

- No, dummy!

I'm crying about very sad
shit going on in my own life.

- She is crying 'cause of us.

Women don't have control
over their emotions.

It ain't their fault.

- You know what? I'm not
even gonna correct you.

'Cause all y'all are
now is so much better

than when y'all
were Boogaloo Bois

just a little while ago.

- They can't go,
Eli! It ain't safe!

- What about Peter?

There's no telling
what he might do.

- We want no part of
anything he has to offer.

So we'll
be fine, Uncle.

- How are you boys
plannin' on going?

- Can you still
give us a ride, Cuz?

- Oh, that's right.

I did say I'd give
you a ride, didn't I?

Well then.

Here you go.

- ♪ Redeemer ♪

- Seeing as how we're
cool cousins again,

I thought it only fair that I
give y'all my monster truck.

Huh.

- Now she ain't street-legal,
so stay in your lane.

Yes!

- ♪ Redeemer ♪

♪ Redeemer ♪

- Oh, baby. Don't be sad.

You'll see 'em real soon.
- No, it's not that.

I instantly regret
giving it to 'em.

My monster truck was
far too giant a gesture.

- ♪ Redeemer ♪

- You know her, you love her,

but did you know today,

she becomes our
assistant youth pastor?

Let's give a whoop-whoop
to Taryn, y'all!

All: Whoop-whoop!

- What happened to Keefe?

- I think you know what
happened to Keefe, Maxwell.

Don't even know why
you're asking that, so.

Keefe got canned.

Oh, yeah? Is that funny?

Keefe didn't get canned, okay?

He is leaving us to pursue
other opportunities.

So... not even sure why
you keep bringing that up.

- My name is Taryn and I
look forward to sharin'...

- Aw.
- All my love with y'all.

And it's my birthday!

Let's go!

- ♪ Whoa, don't
be acting like ♪

♪ He ain't the king
with the crown ♪

♪ Walk in, any situation,
make it on and shut it down ♪

♪ Yeah, don't be acting like

♪ That royalty don't
come attached, baby ♪

♪ It's a package
deal, two-for-one ♪

♪ Yeah, give me that ♪

♪ Whoo, tell 'em that
survivin' is the new way ♪

♪ Yeah, haters
gotta finish him ♪

♪ No, bitch ♪

♪ Yeah, they in the draw,
can't figure it out ♪

- My client is asking for
a settlement of $500,000

for damages and
emotional distress.

- And if we don't pay?

- Then we don't keep
it confidential.

I tell the whole church
that this adulterous whore

fucked my husband.

- You wish, honey. We
barely got to second base.

You need to get
your facts straight.

Stephen, tell her.

Tell her we didn't fuck.

- Judith, zip the lips.

- Don't silence me!

- Well, whatever happened,

it's probably twice
as bad as what you

and failure of a man admit to.

Hush, Stephen.

Now don't you start, too.

Just sit
there quiet like a little dog.

Ooh-wee.

Look at you.

Ice cold, baby.

An even shitter bitch

than Stephen said you were.

- Judy, shush your mouth.

We will, of course,
have to discuss this.

I'm sure you understand.

- We expect your
response promptly.

- Tick-tock.

Let's go.

- Judy.
- Just... I'm gonna walk them out.

- Judy.

- Fucking kill
you in your sleep!

Cut your fucking head
off and scalp you.

I mean, goddamn, Judy.

Can't you show a fucking
ounce of restraint

for once in your life?

- Lick my dick, Jesse!

Just pay the heifer
and be done with it!

- Our best course of
action is to play nice.

Not only will we
have to pay them,

I suggest you also make
a personal apology.

- Thanks, Martin,
but no thank you.

- You're doing it.

You're gonna hold your nose,

you're gonna kiss that
bitch's smelly ass

for the good of the church.

You're taking the L.

- That's a nah,
son, from me. No L.

- Kiss that smelly B, Judy.

- No!
- Take the L.

- We can pay them, but I'm
not doing an apology on them.

- We're gonna overpower
you with repetition.

Both: Take the L! Take the
L! Take the L! Take the L!

Take the L!
- Okay!

I'll take the fucking L!

- I commissioned a
fella outta Brussels.

He's also done a DMX

and Fred Astaire dancing
with a vacuum cleaner.

- Wow.

With Judy pulling her bullshit,
now is the time to show Daddy

who's putting in that real work.

- Yeah, well, fuck
Judy and her troubles.

If she don't get
her ass in line,

we make a hologram
out of her too, now.

- Mm.
- Come on, let's go look at it

from the nosebleeds.

- Only thing I'm worried
about is, you know,

Daddy can get real cagey

when it comes to people trying
to make money off of Mama.

I can see him shutting
this whole damn thing down

'cause he thinks
it's disrespectful.

- Well, she's my sister.

She's your mama.

He don't own her.
We own her, too.

And look here. I'm giving you
a walking, talking Aimee-Leigh.

You got people
leaving this church.

This is the answer.

- I mean, this thing
costs a shit ton of money.

You ain't really
giving me anything.

- How 'bout I throw my
mentorship in for free?

- I think I'm good. I
don't need no mentor.

- Everybody needs a mentor.
- I don't.

- Especially you. You
more than anybody I know.

- Nope.
- Yes, you are.

And I'ma be yours.
- No, you're not.

- Yes, I am.
- No.

- You need to calm
the fuck down.

That's my first piece
of mentor advice to you.

And look here.

'Cause I'm helping you out,

you gon' help me out too, now.

You gon' be pick up my
quiz show, "Bible Bonkers."

- Oh, come on now.

This is starting to feel
like a fuckin' shakedown.

- Well, you change your mind,

I'll just unplug your mama

and I'll sell her to one of
them sex shows over in Bangkok.

Them boys'll hack a
program real quick.

Make your mama do all
kinds of nasty stuff.

- You dirty dog.

- Come on, Jesse.

Now, let's just do a
demo for the family

and your daddy, huh?

He ain't gonna be able to say no

once he sees his
wife singing again.

Look here.

- Hey, there! Keefe!

Keefe!

- Oh, brother Kelvin.

What, uh...

what are you doing here?

- Just checking in on my man.

They got you working
like a mule, son.

- Yeah, Brooks is
a master carpenter.

A true artisan.

He's taught me a lot in
the ways of hard woods.

Wow. I'm so impressed!

Master carpenter!

He makes
stuff from sticks.

Yay. Cool.

- Jesus was a carpenter, too.

- I'm well aware, Keefe.

But Jesus did way
more than just that.

If his whole thing was
about being a carpenter,

no one would care.

It's the miracles and
stuff that are notable.

Not the carpentry.

So have you found happiness?

You doing good here?

- I have.

I am.

- That's so great to hear.

You know, 'cause I was...

worried that you might
regress without my guidance.

But no, it looks like you
got it all figured out here

and don't need my help at all.

- How's everything
with you, brother?

- I am slaying.

Taryn just took over as
assistant youth pastor.

She's a total star.

Everybody loves her.

Having so much fun.

Seamless transition. No
one misses you at all.

- I hate to be curt,

but I really got to
get back to work.

- Okay.

I would not want to keep you.

- Good.

- What am I looking at here?

Retired Daddy
sitting on a bucket

with a fishing pole.

That's hilarious.

It's giving me life,
dude. I love it.

- I'm trying to find
what I like doing

besides running a church.

I'm struggling.
- Hmm.

- Always worked so much,

I never got any hobbies.

I'm just a bore.

You ain't a bore, Daddy.

Come on.

Daddy, I, um...

I need to tell you something.

- Oh, God.

- I had a no-sex affair

with the guitar player
from my touring band.

And his wife found out.

And now she wants
a bunch of money

in order to not tell people.

- What the fuck, Judy?

- Daddy, I know.

I know, I know, okay?

- What does BJ think?
- It's not good, Daddy.

Come on. Can we just pay her?

Nothing like this is
ever gonna happen again.

I promise that.

I learned from this experience.
I learned a lot from it.

Honest to God, Daddy, please.

- I don't want to
talk about this.

I just wanna fish.

Please.

Could you fucking
kids just please...

Please
figure out your lives?

I'm not good at this.
Your mama was. Not me.

You're on your
own. You pay her.

With my own money?

So now you're not
even gonna talk to me?

You're just gonna look out
at your fucking fishing pole?

Yo, I'm talking to you!

Bye, Daddy. I'm leaving.

Yep, not even gonna say goodbye.

I hate you.

What the hell?

Come on!

- Hey, hey!
- Hey! Surround 'em!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Where'd you boys
get this?

Did you steal it?

Yes, sir.

We stole it right out from
under their stuck-up noses!

- They stole it!

Straight from the devil!

Yeah!

- Who knows what the
Gemstone Salvation Center

can do for you.

Janice and Tall Jay have
enrollment packages over there.

Go over
there, please.

Just go. Don't look at me.

Oh, God.

- Come on.
- Is he crying over there?

- Yeah, he's fucking leaking.

- I'd cry, too.

He's a cuckold. His
wife cheated on him.

- Hey, BJ.

For what it's worth,

I think it's pretty fucked
up what Judy did to you.

It's not right.

She can be a pretty
selfish person sometimes.

I'm sorry.

- I appreciate it, Jesse.

- You gonna confront the guy?
- Maybe.

I just don't think I
can move through life

knowing that a guy named
Stephen did this to me.

- You want my advice?

You want to restore the power?

You fight this motherfucker.

You knock his dick in the dirt
and you show him who's the man.

All right, show us your punch.
Sock that fuckin' bag for me.

Mm.
- Ah, shit.

Ah, I
think I broke my wrist.

- I think that motherfucker
was limp to begin with.

All right. Come on, now.

I want you to pop this bag!

Don't stop at the bag.
Punch through the bag.

Aim for that wall
there right behind it.

- Yeah, one solid punch will
make your jaw broke easy.

Right
on the button.

- You knock him
in his fucking jaw

and turn them lights out.

Rock-a-bye, baby.
- That's right.

- Wouldn't that be great?
- Come on.

- KO'd in one punch?
- Mm-hmm.

- Just come in and go...

"Good afternoon, Stephen.

"You thought my wife liked you?

"She likes me, bro.

She was mistaken when she
thought she liked you."

Ah!

- I need you to put your
fucking anger into this.

Tell the bag what's
up, all right?

Don't be saying she was mistaken

when she thought she liked you.

Pop this motherfucker!
- Yeah.

- You piece of shit.

I'm not a piece
of shit, you are!

Just thought you could
dry-ride my wife?

You freaking animal!

Just trying to cum and...
- Stay focused.

Don't talk about cum. Tell
him who the fuck you are.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm Ben Barnes.

Benjamin Jason.

- You go off, Queen.

Fucker.

- I'm Benjamin Jason!
- There you go.

- I'm there for my wife
emotionally, spiritually,

and freaking sexually!

I get rock hard
whenever she needs it.

You think you're some
hot-body homewrecker?

I'll wreck your fucking face!

- Yes!
- There you go!

- Now don't tell him he's hot.
Don't give him compliments.

But everything else besides
that was working great.

- Yeah, I liked the
wordplay stuff you did

relating homewrecking
to wrecking his face.

That was clever.

- You know, as church leader,

technically, I
shouldn't be involved

in this Judy-inspired bullshit.

But if you are gonna face
him, I suggest you take these.

- Ooh.
- Mm.

- Knucks.

Stylish, stealthy, effective.

- Mm.

- Slide 'em on, slide 'em off.

You want that fight
to be over quick?

You hit him with
these little fuckers.

- A weapon?
- Yeah.

And once you've knocked him out
and you're standing above him,

finish him off with
a goddamn one-liner.

Something dope,
like...

How you like me now?

Yeah, yeah.

- How you like me now?

- No, no, no, BJ.

How you like me now?

- You won. Let him know.
And then you spit on him.

That's how you win
in the game of mens.

- So open his mouth
and spit in his mouth?

- Uh, just on him.

Just... just a general
disrespect of spitting.

Yes!

- Yes.

Yes!

- Yes!

- Judy?

- Oh. Sup?

I was just reading a mag
here in the service entrance.

Definitely not following
you.

But you know, since
you want to be all nosy

and say my name and shit,

can I holler at
you for a second?

- About what?

The absolute mess
that you have made?

I hate to say it,
but I told you so.

- Bitch, I know.

Okay? Duh.

My shit sucks right now.

I'm going out of
my fucking mind.

I'm... I feel gross,

I wish I could crawl
out of my own skin.

Seems like everybody
is talking about me.

And I can deal with that, but...

I don't know, it's just, um...

it's just BJ, you know?

Like, what if he don't want
to work this out with me?

- Judy, why don't you join
my women's prayer group?

There's a lot of
women in the group

who have had very
similar issues.

- Cuckolded their husbands?

Who are they?

Tell me their names.

- Why don't you just
come see for yourself?

- When Chad cheated on me,

it took everything I
had to forgive him.

- No offense, but, like,

I already know
what you had to do

when Chad fucked that whore.

I want to know...
- Judy, we do not need details

or words like that
in this conversation.

- How else are you gonna say it?

When Chad fucked
the skin merchant,

what did he do to make
it better with y'all?

- He showed genuine
sorrow and remorse...

- Uh-huh.
- For what he did.

I knew the whole experience
had completely broken him.

- I remember the time period

he, like, wore basketball
shorts constantly.

It was disgusting.

- It wasn't good, Judy.

I lost respect for him.
- Mm-hmm.

- And we've been
working on that.

We're still working
on that to this day.

- Yeah.

- Let me just make sure
I got this straight.

The cheater has to eat massive,

big ol' piles of shit

for however long...

Until the hurt person
decides they're forgiven?

Just on an arbitrary
whim, they decide that?

That's the gist of
this, basically?

- Basically, yes.

- Oh, my God.

- That was very well-said.

- Thank you, honey.

Fucking sucks.

- ♪ Look in the mirror, girl ♪

♪ By now you should know ♪

♪ I'm waiting as my heart
beats just for you ♪

- Now, Kelvin! Let's see
you flip your world up!

Go, Kelvin! Let's
see you flying! Go!

Jump! Jump! All: Jump! Jump!

Jump! Jump! Jump!

- ♪ Whoa, after the rain ♪

♪ You'll see the sun appear ♪

♪ To light the way ♪

♪ Only after the rain ♪

♪ Can you hope to
find true love again ♪

- Hey, I was really digging
your gymnastics skills.

You're really good.

Thanks, I was just...

Working some stuff out up there.

I mean, you're pretty good, too.

- Well, I think
tumbling's a great way

to introduce the
kids to exercise.

- It really is.

It's like tricking a kid
into eating their greens

by putting... both:
Cheese on broccoli.

- Oh, my God!
- What? That's crazy.

- Brother Kelvin!

Uh... knock-knock.

I'm sorry. I...

thought you'd be alone.

- Hey, Keefe.

Keefe Belief.

- Man, oh, man.
What a surprise!

Hey, I mean, get
in here, my dude.

Show me some love.

- I made you a chair.

I did not make one for
Taryn. She doesn't get one.

- O-okay. That's cool.

Is that... is that made of wood?

- Yeah, it's w-wood.

And then I cured it with heat.

That's your name.
- Very cool.

Yeah, we were just...

- Oh, uh, we were just
talking the best way

to get the kids involved
in physical fitness.

Taryn, a beast on the tramp.

I mean, you should check
out her somersault game.

- I thought somersaults
was our thing, brother.

- Somersaults are
for everyone, Keefe.

- Oh, I get it.

Taryn is exactly me now.

- No, I'm my own person.

- No, you're exactly me.

By Kelvin's side.
Planning physical acts.

Talking about the children.

A replicant.

- Taryn, would you
give us a moment?

Keefe.

Why are you being all
weird right now, hmm?

- Is it weird?

Or have you and Taryn

had physical connections
with one another?

- I barely know her.

All we do is talk about
tumbling and children.

We laugh.

- Like we used to.

- Keefe, you left me.

You ditched me.

If you would've said yes
to Immigrant Outreach,

then we could
still be dude-bros.

And what was I supposed to do?

Hmm? Just sit
around, be lonely?

Wait for you to deliver
some stupid rocking chair?

- My loyalties are no
longer needed here, I see.

I will not disrupt
what you and...

Taryn and building together.

- Ugh.

- Sounds a little bit creepy.
- Creepy?

My mama?
- No.

Not saying she's creepy.

Just, like, the idea
of bringing her back.

What does Eli think?

- What the hell does
it matter what he says?

It's not his call.
It's my call.

I'm the one who runs the church.

And if I want my mama to
appear in spectral form

in front of the
entire congregation,

that's my choice.

What are you being a
negative ninny for?

- I'm not being
a negative ninny.

- Why can't you get my back?

And I would expect
that from you.

I mean, I always have your back

no matter what dumb, little
stuff it is, you know?

Like this system nonsense.

- Hey.

- I mean, you're
spending all your time

guiding fucking wild women
and strangers and meanwhile,

your husband is trying to
run a fucking megachurch

with absolutely no help.

No one is helping me at all!

- Look, I'm sorry that
you feel that way,

but I am proud of what
I have accomplished.

It makes me feel
good to contribute,

to-to have something
that's mine, my own thing.

- Okay, well, news flash, Amber.

Your thing doesn't
matter. My thing does.

You're out there trying to
play fucking pretend therapist

fucking farting in
jars for people,

and I'm sitting here
trying to figure out

how to exploit my dead mama
so that people like us again!

- Think I'll take
my wine upstairs.

- I would just like
to say how sorry I am

for the harm that I
caused your marriage

and your family.

I just hope you can find it
in your heart to forgive me.

- I hope this hurts.

Dang, Martin.

Feeling vibes like...

like I'm a teenage girl
going to the abortion clinic

in secret with her
male best friend

from theater department.

How come it's just you
here and not my brothers?

- Mm, I thought it might be
best if you did this alone.

Easier, as well.

- You know, I'm just shocked
they didn't demand to be here.

Shove my face in humble
pie a little bit.

- I told them it was on Tuesday.

Thanks, Martin.

- It's all right.
- Mm.

- Now, now. It's all right.

- ♪ High upon a lonely ledge ♪

♪ A figure teeters
near the edge ♪

♪ And jeering crowds
collect below ♪

♪ To egg him on with,
"Go, man, go!" ♪

♪ But who will
ask what led him ♪

♪ To his private day of doom ♪

[knuckles crack] ♪
And who will answer? ♪

♪ If the soul is darkened ♪

♪ By a fear it cannot name ♪

♪ If the mind is baffled ♪

♪ When the rules
don't fit the game ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Who will answer? ♪

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

- Can we get this show
on the road, Jesse?

People have lives.

- Look, we ain't doing
shit until Daddy gets here.

This is primarily for
his benefit, anyway.

- Oh, there he is.

Speak of the devil
and the devil appears.

- Don't be saying
Daddy's the devil, now.

- Oh.

- Come on, Daddy-boy
and Aunt May-May.

Come on and take a seat
right here in the front.

- Sup, Daddy-boy?

- He ain't saying
nothing to you, Judy.

This is my thing.
- I'm just saying hi!

- What I'm gonna
show you tonight

is gonna blow your
fucking brains out, okay?

Remember miracles are real.

- They're real now.

- Okay, go on.
Give me some space.

This is my moment. Go on.

It is no mystery that the
road we have been traveling on

has been bumpy as of lately.

But I have a solution.

Now, seeing as I'm
the only minister here

who's doing a fucking thing...

Fuck you.

- I feel that I
need some backup.

I need somebody that's
never let us down,

who will always will know
the right thing to say.

Without further ado,
Uncle Baby Billy,

begin the presentation.

- Y-you bet I will! I'ma
begin the presentation.

But first...
- No, no. No but firsts.

- Yes.

But first, my favorite
nephew, Jesse Gemstone,

has ordered Baby
Billy's "Bible Bonkers"

straight to series!

- Oh, yeah.
- It's a go.

- That's enough.

- It's gonna be quiz show
fun for the whole family!

- Stop saying more
stuff, Baby Billy.

Go sit down.
- It's a million-dollar idea.

- Shh, shh!
- It's one million dollars.

- Again. Watch,
everyone. Pay attention.

Shut the fuck up.

- Hey, y'all!

Boy, I've missed
worshipping with you!

I'm so glad we get
to do that today.

It's been a while.
What's new with you?

Have you been talking to Jesus?

How 'bout we pray
to Him right now?

Dear Heavenly Father,

we thank You for bringing
us all here together.

We are humbled by Your
glory, yes, we are.

Your love gives us strength
and fills us with joy.

Continue to use us...

- You made Mama
into a Force ghost?

- Yes, I did.

- Amen.

Now who wants to hear
some more singing?

- I performed a
damn Mama miracle.

Like Jesus Christ,
she has risen again.

- ♪ The old country lane ♪

♪ Still looks the same ♪

Jesse!

You're making Daddy
cry! Turn it off!

- Hush, Judy. Those
are tears of joy.

Those are happy tears.

- Oh, please turn this off.
I don't want to see it.

- Eli, don't be scared.
It's just Aimee-Leigh.

- Daddy, that ain't no
Babadook, that's Mama.

- It's darkness. I
won't even watch.

- I hate this.
- Why, Jesse?

- Because we don't
have what it takes!

We fucking suck together!

I'm trying to make
us more appealing!

- Well, that's not gonna happen

if you are constantly trying
to hog the fucking spotlight!

Dude, everybody knows that

I'm the talent in this
family since Mama died.

- I got more talent in my pubes

than you do in
your entire being.

- You could quit right now today

and nobody would care.

- You're the girl who isn't
even supposed to be here.

You're an add-on.

- No, you're an add-on.

- You're both add-ons!

Baby Billy and I
worked very hard

on this special
media presentation

and you're ruining it!

- Guess what?

Mic drop.

I quit!

- Okay. I quit, too.

I don't want to work
with y'all, either.

- All right.

Well, toodle-fuckin'-loo
to both of you.

Look at us! Look at us here!

Huh, Daddy? You see?

This is exactly what I have
to deal with all the time!

Two worthless sacks of
shit that do nothing

but weigh me down and
keep me from shining!

- I don't care.

You've turned your mother into
a damn carnival attraction.

Shut it off!

- Fine. Baby Billy,
shut it down.

- I'm trying to turn it off.

- Turn it off, Jesse!

- We are!

Hit
the button, god damn it!

- God!
- Turn it off!

- Fucking shut it off.
- Hey. Unplug it.

- Knock it off!
- Stop it, now!

- Whoo! ♪ Y'all
gon' make me... ♪

- ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

♪ Y'all gon' make me go... ♪

- Plug it back in, man.
- ♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

Turn it off, turn it off!

- ♪ Y'all gon'
make me act a... ♪

- No, no, no, no, no!

Oh, no! No!

No, no, no, no!

It's a loaner!

- Shame on all of you.

Why do you gotta be so
thoughtless all the time?

- Save the lecture
and hit the bricks.

Get to steppin', bitch!

- Your daddy's done a
lot for the three of you.

Maybe you should show
him some more respect.

Get her.

Y'all get her.

- Whoo!

- How you like me now?

How am I to you now?

- Open the door!

It's BJ Barnes, son!

I know you're in there!

Texting Judy invitations!

One last time?

How 'bout I show
you one last time?

- ♪ When it's over ♪

♪ There's no peace of mind ♪

♪ Just a longing for the way
things should have been ♪

♪ And she wonders ♪

♪ Why some men never find ♪

♪ That a woman needs
a lover and a friend ♪

♪ And he'll tell her ♪

♪ He's working late again ♪

♪ But she knows too well
there's something going on ♪

♪ She's been neglected ♪

♪ And she needs a friend ♪

♪ So her trembling fingers
dial the telephone ♪

♪ Lord, it hurts her ♪

♪ Doing this again ♪

♪ He's the best friend that
her husband ever knew ♪

♪ When she's lonely ♪

♪ He's more than
just a friend ♪

- What the fuck?

- How you like me now?

- ♪ Daytime friends
and nighttime lovers ♪

♪ Hoping no one
else discovers ♪

♪ Where they go,
what they do ♪

♪ In their secret hideaway ♪

♪ Daytime friends and
nighttime lovers ♪

♪ They don't want
to hurt the others ♪

♪ So they love in
the nighttime ♪

- Hiyah!

- ♪ And shake hands
in the light of day ♪

♪ When it's over ♪

♪ There's no peace of mind ♪

♪ Just a longing for the way
things should have been ♪

♪ And she wonders ♪

♪ Why some men never find ♪

♪ That a woman needs
a lover and a friend ♪

♪ Daytime friends and
nighttime lovers ♪

♪ Hoping no one
else discovers ♪

♪ Where they go ♪

- Get the fuck out of here.

You lost, bitch.

- BJ?

I made dinner.

Are you okay?

Oh, my God.

- I hope you like me now.

- ♪ Judy ♪

♪ Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy ♪

♪ Heaven has a place
for Mrs. Judy ♪

♪ With dominoes and
swimming holes ♪

♪ And undergarment
catalogues ♪

♪ Anything for
little Mrs. Judy ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Judy ♪

♪ Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy ♪

♪ She's had a ball,
she's seen it all ♪

♪ Sweet Judy ♪

♪ Dancing in her
wedding dress ♪

♪ She's friends with
everyone she's met ♪

♪ 'Cause everyone's in
love with Mrs. Judy ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Judy ♪

♪ Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy ♪

♪ Don't you know they're
coming for you soon? ♪

♪ Whip-poor-wills
and sleeping pills ♪

♪ Can't get you out
of prison cells ♪

♪ Don't you be afraid,
sweet, little Judy ♪