The Righteous Gemstones (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript

Our son is back in our lives.

- Isn't that the only thing that matters?
- Well, he brought shame to us.

And continues to bring shame to us,

but yeah, sure,
let's throw him a dinner.

Must be nice living in
the lap of luxury again.

The deeper I get,
the more I'll have access to.

I'm being blackmailed!

What we need to do here is
figure out who these idiots are.

I was thinking,
I would like to work with Martin.

See the ins and outs
of running this place.

All across America,
capitalism's crumbling.



That's when we step up.

And what did this church use to be?

A Sears, I believe.

Locust Grove's gonna be
nothing but trouble for you.

These men are here on
behalf of Johnny Seasons.

We're gonna send them
back to Johnny Seasons.

I need someone I can
trust to run that church.

Okay, Eli.

Hey! Keefe!

Keefe!

God damn, man.
It's been a while.

Fucking hail Satan, bro.

Yeah, right on, Daedalus.

I heard you went full-on Jesus freak,



started messing around with
those Gemstone weirdos.

No, probab... probably not me.

I mean... I mean, definitely not me.

I've gotten really into home brewing.

I got a home brewing kit,

and it's, uh...
It's pretty time-consuming.

So...

Cool story, Keefe.

Hey, Cryptocore has been
working on some new tracks.

We was just about to blast off.

- You want a taste?
- No, I'm good.

But congratulations, Cryptocore.
That sounds cool.

Party at Club Sinister Friday night.

All the old heads will be there.
You should go.

Like I said, I'm pretty... pretty busy
with barley and hops and stuff.

So y'all have a fun and safe time,
and ya'll t... ta-ta.

God damn, Keefe's a fucking nerd now.

♪ Lucifer ♪

♪ Lucifer ♪

♪ Lucifer ♪

♪ Lucifer, Lucifer ♪

♪ Lucifer ♪

♪ Lucifer ♪

As you can see, this is money sent

from around the world through
our television ministries.

Gotta separate the money
from the prayer requests.

Anything important or
a donation over $10,000

goes straight up to Daddy.

Every prayer request is
prayed for personally

by one of our team members.

Then requests are shredded
for security and liability reasons.

All the money comes here,
where it is sorted, counted,

placed in carts,
then moved to the vault.

Ah, the Lord's bounty.

Hmm, you know, Gay, I didn't...
I didn't grow up here, no.

I grew up in a rural part of the state.

Hang on, hang on. Look.
Can we not use code words?

What she's trying to say is
that she is a poverty person.

- Poverty person?
- That's what rural means, poverty person.

So she comes from dirt mud.
Who cares, Judy?

I grew up in a hardworking
middle class family.

We weren't rich,
but we also weren't poor.

And we also don't really care.

That's kind of a boring,
lame origin story.

Dale, are you all opening up a new
Nancy's Chicken down on 17th?

I think so.

I mean, we got so damn many of 'em,
it's hard to keep track.

Oh, honey.

But I want you to know my sons
grew up eating Fancy Nancy.

- Oh, they did? Yeah?
- Your girl did too.

I'm all about them nuggets, though.

- That's my deal, the nuggets.
- I like them sauces.

Yeah.

But we appreciate all of it.
We really do.

Dale, I gotta...
I'm sorry I'm having to shout.

I'm so far away from ya.

I tell you what,
you are an impressive man, Dale.

You got yourself a hot wife...

I like you.

I got to tell you. You and me,

we got to collaborate on something.

I got all kinds of big
ideas, chicken ideas.

Baby Billy has wonderful ideas.

I do. I have good... yes, good ideas.

We're already talking to Dale
about potential opportunities.

Well, good. Cut me in.
Let's all get together, partner up.

They like keeping all your
rich Christian friends

down at that end of the table.

I mean, that's...
I don't know who did the seating chart.

- But that's all right.
- Everything okay?

Yes, yes. It's Dot.

It's our daughter.

She's been cussing us out,
because she's grounded

from using the helicopter, and...

She's got herself this boyfriend
that is nothing but trouble.

- Yep.
- He's sending her down a bad path.

- I hate hearing that.
- Mm.

You know, Kelvin here
specializes in youth ministry.

- Is that a fact?
- Yes, sir.

I like to connect with the youths.

You know, get on their level with...

With sports, activities...
we go laser tagging.

Mr. Kelvin, is there any way
you could sit down with our Dot?

Well, if he won't do it now,
me and my wife Tiffany,

we'd be more than happy to lend a hand.

She's got all kinds
of counseling skills.

Well, actually, Daddy, I could do it.

I mean, I deal with jerk kids
in my house every single day.

Okay, ha-ha. I can do it, Daddy.

I'll sit down with her,
bad girl to bad girl.

No, Kelvin's got this.

It would be an honor to deliver
your daughter to Christ.

It's your time, my boy.

We do appreciate that, Mr. Kelvin.

It's no big whoop.

You look dumb with them glasses on.

- Why you even wearing 'em?
- It's fashion.

Well, what, is it fashionable
to look like Jeffrey Dahmer?

I just... I have a question for Amber.

This is important.
I was just wondering if you...

There's something I'd like to share.

Recently, I broke into
my husband's e-mail,

and I found some messages that...

well, I'm not really
sure how to process it.

The first one was sent last March

from Chad to Jesse Gemstone.

"ATL was dirty, dirty, for sure-y.

"Still can't believe those titties.

Fuck me, I should divorce my wife."

- Next e-mail from Jesse to Chad.
- Mandy.

I think what your husband and my husband

e-mail each other about
is none of our business.

Next e-mail from Jesse to Chad.

"You're wild AF.
You should get tested, bro.

"Water squirt emoji,
water squirt emoji, water squirt emoji."

I mean, that could mean anything, right?

Next one, from Chad to Jesse,
Levi, Gregory, and Matthew.

"Who do I owe for the prostitutes?

"Is that the politically correct term?

"Or is it hoes or whores?

"Hit me up. I'm good for it.

Titties."

Amber, do not bury
your head in the sand.

You know this isn't right.

You know what isn't right is
going behind your husband's back.

I refuse to engage in
this sort of conjecture.

If you have questions,
you should talk to Chad, not us.

I did talk to Chad.

And what did he say?

That he was hacked,
that he didn't write any of it.

Well, there you go.

What do you mean, there I go? Hacked?

Who the fuck is hacking my husband,
North Korea?

Who gives a shit about my husband?
Nobody, that's who!

Fucking bastard!

They're fucking up to something.

My life is ruined.

It's gonna be okay.

- Mandy had us over today.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. We get there, and
she pulls out these documents

that she claims are e-mails
between you and Chad

and some of your buddies.

Say what? Where'd she get those?

She broke into Chad's Yahoo.

- Good Lord, that is wicked.
- I don't even know if they were real.

Some of the ladies thought
they may have been hacks.

You know what, I bet they were.

Joke e-mails.

I mean, I can't think of a
specific joke e-mail chain

we had going on,
but I bet that's what it was.

What did these joke or hack e-mails say?

Stuff about prostitutes and...

ATL, whatever that is.

It sounded like Chad may have contracted
some sort of disease or something.

Oh, come on, now. That's crazy.

She needs to go get checked
out if she's running around

telling lies like that.

You know, if I can be honest,
that kinda ticks me off.

Oh, you can be honest,
baby, but don't get mad.

It's not worth it.

Well, I'm having a hard time
not getting mad.

The way she's acting,

stirring pots and telling
stories and fables.

- That makes me so furious.
- I didn't believe it, baby.

Not for a minute.

Well, good. I'm glad you didn't.

God damn it, that makes me mad

when people are
busybodies, telling lies.

So Dot did not come home last night.

Wish I could tell you where she was,
but she won't say.

Oh, you know where I was, Dale.

Look, y'all need to get on
board with me and Austin

or keep your damn mouth shut.

- This is what we got going on.
- Mm-mm-mm.

You know, I wish I could say
I'm surprised, but I'm not.

And that is exactly why we are here.

We're gonna be performing
what people in our field call a sweep.

I will extract any and
all demonic influences

your daughter may knowingly or,
more than likely,

unknowingly have in her possession.

- She doesn't know.
- She might not even know.

- Wait, what the fuck?
- Oh, there it is.

Which way is her room?

- Absolutely not.
- Stop!

- Will you...
- Honey...

Stop. Oh, my God.

- Let them do their job.
- Will you stop?

I think this is an ashtray, so no.

- Keefe, no.
- Oh.

- That was close.
- Yeah, it was.

Okay, that's a fucking fidget spinner.

- That is my stuff!
- This stuff?

This stuff isn't what you think it is.

These are instruments Satan uses
to infect a child's soul.

Trust me. I've seen it before.

I'm sorry, but we're more than likely
gonna have to burn it.

If you guys want any more guidance
as to what to look for in the future,

we actually do sell a collection
of books through the church...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I found something.

What is it? Oh, Lord.

It's a prophylactic.

Used, I'm sorry to report.

Oh, honey.

I am not sitting around for this.

Dispose of that, Keefe.

Pick it up, put it in the trash.

Oop. It's slippery.

Okay, just quit touching it.

Keefe, don't wipe it on your pants.

Oh. Oh, God.

This is going well.

- Thank you.
- Doing God's work here.

Sorry about that business
back there with that rubber.

I froze up.

Yeah, just keep it out
of the parents' sight.

I'm sure it's painful for them to see.

And if there is a semen load,
which I'm pretty sure there was...

There... there definitely was.

- Seemed like it was.
- Yeah.

I wouldn't even touch it, okay?

Got it.

Hey, it's all right. Doing good.

You didn't wash your hands, did you?

- No, I did not.
- Okay.

- Sorry.
- It's all right.

Oh, that's gotta be the boyfriend.

I bet you money that
that was his semen load.

I wanna snip him right
out of this situation.

Then we'll make some progress.

- ♪ Shot her in the face ♪
- Hey.

Oh... oh, wow.

Real talk.

You go through my girl's
panty drawer again,

and I'll whoop your ass, son.

Son? How old are you?

How old are you, bitch, 40?

No. Not even... no, I'm 29.

40-year-old virgin.

So what? I made a celibacy promise.

- Big whoop.
- Fuck this.

♪ Shotgun to her face ♪

♪ Blow her mouth through her nose ♪

♪ Brain full of murder,
heart full of fuck you ♪

♪ Stab you, burn you,
shoot you, cut you ♪

Careless, Chad.

What don't you understand about
"delete the paper trail"?

Levi deleted his e-mails.
Gregory deleted his e-mails.

Matthew deleted his e-mails.

I deleted my fucking e-mails
so I wouldn't have my wife

asking me questions about it, Chad.

Jesse, don't yell at me, okay?
I'm getting it from Mandy at home.

- At what? A... who?
- At home.

As you should be getting it from her.

Hell, I got shot to stop
her from finding out.

She found out anyways.
So I guess you can't hide from the truth.

That's not the lesson
to be learned from here.

Log out of your fucking computer
accounts when you're done.

That's the lesson to be learned.

Well, I think, for me, the lesson's
more about telling the truth.

Okay, well, you can say that,
but that's not the real lesson.

- Jesse, just let him have it.
- No.

I'm not gonna let him have it,
because he's wrong.

You're wrong, Chad.
Go... say something else, Chad.

Why don't you write it in
a fucking e-mail, Chad?

"My feelings are hurt,"
dot, send it to somebody

so my fucking wife can find
it and fucking read it!

I'm letting you know Dale Nancy
has a very sexual daughter.

You know, might be a lost cause.
Might have to take an L on this one.

Who do you think paid for
the Bible Heroes Wax Museum?

Dale Nancy.

- And the new media one?
- Dale Nancy.

The Nancy family gives more
to this church than anyone,

so stop making excuses.

You know, all I ever hear
you say is how great you are

with the youth ministry.

You call yourself the kid whisperer.

- Teen whisperer.
- Whatever it is.

Some folks think youth
ministry is a position

for immature, unserious pastors.
A lot of folks think that.

I don't think that,
but a lot of folks do.

- Who thinks that?
- A lot of people. Like he said,

a lot of people think that.

Kelvin, you're the baby of the family.

Now, maybe I'm guilty
of babying you too long.

This is your chance to prove yourself.

Do not fuck this up, son.

They process the money
in the accounting rooms.

It only stays in the
vault overnight Sunday.

Monday morning,
it's deposited in the bank.

Okay, so you got a big bunk of cash
sitting there every Sunday.

How much we talking at a time?

That part depends.

Normal Sunday can be
upwards of a million.

On holidays, like Easter,
when you got everybody

who doesn't normally come showing up,

can be upwards of $3 million.

Three. Oh.

I gotta tell you, man.

I give it to your family,
running around on that stage,

spouting Bible bullshit,
raking in all that money,

not paying taxes.

It's a fucking racket.

I mean, the obvious problem
we face is how to get it out of there.

Between security, cameras, passcodes...
honestly, it's all kind of over my head.

Well... well, it's not over mine.

I doubled Statham in
2003 for a heist movie.

I did a ton of research to
get the character right.

I had to slide under this
closing metal security door.

You built a character
to slide under a door?

Yeah, dude. I go all in, man.
It's my process.

That's why I'm a pro, and that's why
you fucking suck at stunts, Gideon.

Whoa, hey, Scottie. Chill out, man.

You're right. I went dark.

- Yeah.
- You brought good news.

We should be celebrating.

I'll let you buy me dinner. I'll drive.

All right, let's reset from the top.

Dot with the good stroke. Whoo!

Who's that creepy man?

Some asshole from my church.

Dot! Hey, what's up, girl?

What are you doing here?

Going to Satan-sweep my sports bra?

Okay.

I know our last hang got
off to a rocky start...

But I'm gonna make it up to you, okay?

Youth group meeting tonight.
No "presh," just come by.

If you like it, great.
If not, you'll never see me again.

- Tonight, huh?
- Yeah.

Yeah, we got the Sky Zone on lock.

Gonna do some jumps,
some flips, talk about God

and His power in our life,
just get loose with it.

Sure.

Awesome. Yeah.
One more thing.

What if we go no boyfriend tonight?
Just you.

- What?
- You sparkle without him.

Know that.

Hey, Dot. Nah.

Oh!

Oh, it actually came undone right there.

I was gonna try to just jump over it.

I might have busted your fence.

I'll see you at Sky Zone tonight, okay?

Whoo! It's gonna be fun, girl!

Time! 52 seconds.

I just did a three-gun in 52 seconds.

Speed and precision.

You gonna fuck around, end up in
the Olympics if it be His will.

Baby, I was just thinking
about how fortunate we are.

I mean, poor Mandy.
I feel so bad for her.

Her life is falling apart.

Oh, man, can we
please the change the subject?

I don't wanna be talking about them
and their damn drama.

- It's such a downer.
- I just hope they work it out, is all.

Eh, if they don't,
it ain't the end of the world.

It ain't like Chad's been happy.

- What's Chad not happy about?
- I don't know.

'Cause his wife's a bitch, I guess.

Maybe we should go pray with them.

I bet they could use some Jesus.

I mean, if you wanna get all involved.

I mean, I don't really
see how it's our business.

But we could help, right?

If you want to. Yeah, okay.

- Thank you, baby.
- Okay.

Oh, harder.

Harder, yeah. Oh, that's good.

Oh, there she is. Okay.

Good news. Hey, Dot!

Whoo-hoo! Diz-ott in the house.

Super pumped you didn't bring
that idiot boyfriend of yours.

No offense.

There's a lot of people here.

Yes, the Sky Zone,
where all my peeps can

just kind of kick it, you know?
On a real tip.

- Is it dangerous?
- Ha.

Yeah, it is... dangerously fun.

M'kay? Trust me when I say this.

It's gonna be lit.

All right. Everybody, back up!
Back up! Make room.

Thank you. Devin, get off to the side.

Just for your safety. All right.

- These feats of physical strength...
- Wait till you see this.

- It's gonna be amazing.
- Are all to glorify God.

- Not ourselves, okay?
- Not Satan.

All glory be to He. Can I get an amen?

- Amen!
- Can I get an Amen?

Amen!

Need a little energy.

Who's gonna give it to me?

My big man J-dog right there.
Hit me with that bass drum.

The energy's pulsing through me!

Oh, I'm feeling it!

Gideon.

Little Lord Fauntleroy
getting shit-housed

with Scottie the Hottie.
I like this side of you, man.

I needed this, man. I did.

It's been tough, dude.
Just being back home...

Tough situation, man.
But I get it, dude.

Your dad's an asshole.

The night I made the tape,

we're at this convention.

Things were kind of tense between us,

so my mom made him bring me along

to... to bond or some bullshit, I guess.

All his friends were there, and...

he didn't really want me hanging around.

Dude was trying to fuck, dog.

Anyway, I just gave that
motherfucker what he wanted.

I got my own room.

Except on the way out, I hid my phone,

left it filming.

Preaching God's word and then
doing something like that.

Total fucking fraud.

Dude, we're gonna rob that vault.

We're gonna be over
in dope-ass Thailand.

We're gonna learn some
fucking Muay Thai.

And then I'm gonna pay a fucking
scientist to fix that drive

so we can fuck your
daddy in the butt again.

I'm not sure scientists fix hard drives.

Don't hate, man.
I'm trying to be good friends here.

All that time bullshitting
back on those sets in Cali.

You know the first time I saw you,
you were wearing a wig?

I came up right behind you
like you were a little piece.

Turns out, you weren't.
Turns out, you were a friend.

And I get you.

I know you way better
than your family does.

Fuck your family, Gideon.

Come on. Say it.

Fuck 'em.

Fuck who?

Fuck my family.

- That's what I'm talking about.
- Fuck 'em.

Now, Mandy, I know that you are upset.

But if you just listen,

you'll see that this is not
as nefarious as it seems.

I would love to hear this.

How the hell do you explain it?

We were just joking around.

About titties, divorcing me?

Water squirt emoji means cum, Chad.

Mandy, water squirt emoji does mean cum.

It was a reference to ejaculating,

but it was a joke.

Okay, well,
let's break down the joke, then.

"ATL was dirty, dirty, for sure-y."

"ATL" is a film starring T.I.

Chad, the fellas,
and I were watching the film,

and Chad was commenting on...
how large the breasts of some

of the African-American
actresses were in the film.

Yeah, a lot... a lot... they were huge.

But it was done in jest.

Mandy, Chad loves you.

I don't buy it.

He's telling the truth, baby.

"ATL," it's just a movie.

Then why have I never heard of it?

- Look it up.
- I got it right here.

IMDB.

"'ATL, ' 2006, PG-13.
Comedy, crime, drama.

"At Cascade,
the local roller skating rink,

"four friends try to navigate
life after high school

"as dramas unfold and resolve,

forcing turning points
in all their lives."

Really good.

Our husbands may not be perfect, Mandy,
but they love us.

And they took vows in God's name.

We did.

Therefore, what God has joined together,

let no one separate.

That's beautiful right there.

Now, it has been a long day.

I think it'd be good if
we put this behind us

and join hands in prayer.

Come on, let's do it. You can do it.

Come on, pull 'em in here, y'all.

Dear Heavenly Father,
we know that marriage is not easy.

We look to your strength to carry on.

I take guidance from Ephesians.

A man should love his
wife like his own body.

For he who loves his
wife, loves himself.

Amen.

People can say what they
want about youth ministry,

but I am on another level right now.
I'm unstoppable.

My finger stays on the
pulse of the youths.

That's cool.

Hold up. Where's Dot?

Yo, Sebastian, you seen Dot?

Yeah, she took off.

She said she was going to
a party at Club Sinister.

Club Sinister? Where's that?

Mm-mm.

I know where it is.

We should probably split up.
They could be anywhere.

Okay, I'm gonna go left. You go right.
We'll meet in the middle, okay?

- Okay.
- Be safe.

Dot? Dot Nancy.

Dot! Dot Nancy!

Dot? Dot?

Hey, Keefe.

Keefe.

What's up, Keefe?

I'm... I'm not here for pleasures.

Come sink in with us, bro.

Become the baby again, Keefe.

Yeah, turn into the baby again.

Dot! Dot Nancy.

You ditched me so you could
hang with your boyfriend?

- You used me.
- This motherfucker.

Would you butt out of my life, Kelvin?

No, this is my one shot
to prove to my daddy

that my place in the
church is important,

and you ruined it.
You used me as cover

so you could sneak out for what?
For this bozo?

Dot, you are a spoiled little brat.

Hey, don't talk to my girl like that.

I got the power of God in me, son.

And I will fuck you up!

Cops!

Oh, shit! I have molly on me. Move!

The fuck? Austin!

Move!

Dot!

Go to the left.

Dot!

Hey, I got you.

This is the police!

This way.

Where do you think you're going?
Come here!

Put your hands behind your back, boys.

Put your hands in the air!

Shit.

Hey!

This way.

- Got it? All right.
- Yeah.

How'd you know that was down there?

When I was a teen boy,

I danced nude in one of
the cages near the DJ.

A dark chapter I've put behind me.

Crazy how tonight turned
into a pretty incredible

object lesson for you, Dot.

I'd like to speak on it further,
but I do feel we should bounce.

- Yeah.
- Let's go.

Hey, man.

We was thinking about
heading over to the docks

and blasting off.

I can't.

I follow that man now.

He's the light.

God put him on a path,
and I'm gonna follow him on that path.

I wanna see where this road leads,

for that incredible being.

Hey, bud, I gotta drop a deuce,
and we still need to take Dot home.

Oh, enjoy it, brother.

That is the last of our Cali weed.

It's fucking Gorilla Glue, bro.

Yeah, that's the glue. That part's good.

I can't believe he fucking left me.

Well, people tend to show their
true colors in moments of panic.

Thanks.

I was wrong about you.

Bye, Keefe.

Nighty-night.

Hey.

What time's youth group Wednesday night?

6:00 p.m. sharp.

Am I gonna see you there?

You just might.

Congrats, Kelvin.

Looks like Dot Nancy's coming back.

An impressive feather in your cap.

You're an impressive feather
in my cap, Keefe.

My ultimate success story.

Let's ride.

I mean, it cannot be easy being married
to somebody like Mandy.

She's so judgmental.

Well, she's definitely not a cool wife
like you, that's for damn sure.

I mean, we saved a marriage
tonight, you and I.

That's pretty sweet, huh?

We make a pretty good team.

Baby, I wanna thank you
for always being so honest with me.

You know that means the world to me.

Yeah, well, it's...
you know, it's the only way

I know how to be.

Hold up.

Oh!

You know them?

No. Yes, I... maybe.

I think they're these guys
that I did car pranks with.

Just... shh. Be quiet for a second.

Do you think gorillas smoke weed?

Imagine. Think about it.

You're fucking naked,
and you're running around

in the jungle and shit.

Fucking ripping your J.

Like, all these fucking
chicks are running around,

and they got their pink buttholes.

And I can, like, grab 'em and stuff,
'cause I'm silverback.

Maybe just slow down a little bit, baby.

I'm pretty sure silverbacks make
all the gorillas in their group,

'cause they're just
always fucking each other.

Dude, Jesus. Fuck, man.
This guy's on my fucking ass.

Fucking move it or lose it, bro.

- It's my parents.
- What?

Oh, dude,
that was the end of the Cali weed!

- It's my fucking parents, dude.
- Fuck! All right, buckle up, bitch.

Baby, you are real close to that car.

We can't get fucking seen, Scottie.
We can't get seen, dude.

Can you dance? I fucking dance.

Come on, Dad. Here we go.

Are you following them?

Just be quiet. I'm just trying
to do my own thing here.

Ah, come on!

Scottie, you gotta drive, dude.

Baby, be careful.
Please be careful, baby.

We're so close.

- I'm driving perfectly safe.
- Okay.

Okay.

- Oh, baby.
- Come on, come on.

Hold onto your dick.

Fuck! This guy can drive, man.

I got you, you sons of bitches.

I got you, motherfuckers.

Motherfucker wants to play?

Sudden, instant turn, bitch.

Oh, my Lord.

Just chill here for a second.

Hey!

Hey!

Baby. Baby.

What in the good Lord is going on?

Nothing.

Them just some fellas
I play car pranks with.