The Real L Word (2010–2012): Season 3, Episode 3 - Love Lost - full transcript

Previously, on The Real L Word...

Lord, almighty.

Everything that we've been doing
this past year has finally worked.

I think it's a girl.

So, in this belly is
Charlie Monroe Boccumini.

I'm so excited, but I'm terrified.

When I left New York, I
definitely left a girl behind.

Right now I'm going to pick
up my best friend, Amanda.

We're gonna be friends living together,

and, of course, we're
gonna end up hooking up.

We're friends with benefits.



What did I tell you about
this person? Trouble.

Lauren hates the fact that
already I'm getting into something

or I'm not getting into something...

I don't really know,
but she doesn't like it.

So this tour is sort of like a trial
period to see if Somer is gonna work out.

If my shit breaks because
of your tour, I want help.

Something's not right with my synth.

We're one fucking hundred percent family.

Then don't give me a
hard time if I have to...

I'm not giving you a hard time.

I'm just trying to get you to understand

that I'm in the exact same boat as you.

I got shit all over my face.

I thought I was the only person



- that could shit on your face.
- [Laughs] Right.

The thing that has
kept me and Jay together

is our sense of humor,
but there's got to be more.

Oh, my God. That little...

I hate that Romi's with a man.

It just kind of repulses me.

Sara has corrupted her mind that
I'm some sort of evil human being.

Like, my whole friendship
with whit is gone.

- Cheers.
- I think that Romi is jealous.

She hated that Whitney
wanted to be with me,

that she didn't want to be with her.

Like, she couldn't handle that.

Baby, will you marry me?

Oh, God.

- You didn't say yes.
- Yes!

[Laughter]

♪ It was just the other night ♪

♪ I don't want to think about it ♪

♪ I don't want to start a fight ♪

♪ I don't want to think about it ♪

♪ every time I take
a step left, right ♪

♪ yeah, I think I'm gonna
sleep real good tonight ♪

♪ just think about it ♪

♪ you'll find a way to make me crazy ♪

♪ hazy ♪

♪ so hypnotized ♪

♪ think of the blue skies, new eyes ♪

♪ and I'll never roam again ♪

♪ and I'm back in love again ♪

♪ and I see the stars again ♪

♪ find my way back home again ♪

[Mellow pop music]

♪ carry me away to Mars ♪

♪ won't you carry me
away to see the stars? ♪

♪ and I never know
just quite what to say ♪

♪ when I'm next to you ♪

♪ and fly with me away from here ♪

♪ because you will
always be my only, dear ♪

♪ and you'll never know
just quite what it is ♪

♪ that you've done to me ♪

It doesn't feel real that
her and I are engaged.

It was really beautiful.

It was... out of all the
different engagement, um, stories

that I've heard of, this was, by far,

the most creative and
brilliant that I've heard.

[Both chuckling]

I'm sure everybody has their own opinions

of me being with Sara, and
now we're getting married.

[Chuckles]

And, you know, I think we've kind of

started to prove ourselves
over the past year.

I hope so.

I'm pleased to be living with you.

[Laughs]

♪ God in heaven above ♪

♪ I'm here on the earth below ♪

♪ completely reconciled ♪

♪ to its purpose ♪

♪ a true man in need ♪

Hey, how long is this gonna take?

I don't know, 15 minutes.

We're headed to South by Southwest today.

We have a number of showcases there,

and this is the most
important part of the tour,

so Somer has to get her
keyboard fucking fixed.

Don't touch anything else, or
you might die of electrocution.

[Laughs] I don't plan
on fucking with this.

Hear that? [Keyboard tone plays softly]

Oh, yeah.

Okay, holy shit, this might
be... this... we might just...

we might just... okay,
you can let go of that now.

I fixed it. Like, it was pretty
awesome, like, that moment

where I'm like, "whoa, okay,
wait, I know what's wrong."

"I know how to tune it. I know
to get the reeerrrrr going back."

How much longer?

Uh, less than five minutes
before this is back together.

- Oh, yeah.
- Which one?

30 seconds for me to change and look nice.

And then, uh, a minute to pack the van.

- How's that sound?
- Okay, cool.

- You guys ready to load?
- Give me one second.

Hey, you know that time that I, like,

saved the band, like, $400 in
repairs... what is happening?

Is it a picture of me?

- We're having a moment.
- Yeah.

It's more painful than a real one.

Don't worry, I'll just
be fixing all our gear.

You guys have fun.

I get, like, 0% love for fixing the gear.

Kiyomi's lack of excitement

for the fact that I fixed
this... it kind of hurt.

We should be psyched about it.
We didn't have to pay someone.

We didn't have to track someone
down in San Antonio or Austin,

and, like, we're gonna play a
great South by Southwest show.

We have to go.

- Oh.
- No?

Here.

Ow! [Laughs]

[Mellow pop music]

♪ the sidewalks ♪

♪ the city breezes ♪

A whole new business.

- Hi, hon. This is Rose.
- Hi.

Rose, Jefferson.

- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

This is my virgin hair. Say hi.

- Never, never been touched.
- Never been touched.

I mean, I have, like, very mild,

very little highlights, but I never...

I've never done anything.

Don't be nervous. Here, give me a hug.

Yeah, give a hug.

He's Latin. He's family.

- Oh, there you go.
- We're good, we're good.

I better not look like some
bleached chola with roots.

I know he'll do a great job, but...

Yeah, you'll be fine, but that
is a little bit of the look.

[Cell phone rings] Oh, Ruby's calling.

What up?

Nothing. What's up?

Getting... getting a
transformation on my hair.

Yeah?

What up?

Oh, wow, that's good.

Tell them I said congratulations.

I wish them a long and happy marriage.

[Laughs]

- All right.
- Okay, bye.

I don't even know what to say to that.

Wait, wait, engaged? Is that what it was?

Ah, what can you say?

What can you say? It's beautiful.

- I just wish them the best.
- I wish them so much happiness.

That's all you can do.

Are you kidding me? They
have a lot of shit there.

Are they're ready to just get married

and, like, say that this is forever?

I'd like to see both of them commit

and say something's forever.

In their crazy, you know,
ways, they love each other,

and I wish them nothing but the best.

I just don't care to have them in my life.

And it just gets to the point

where all the high-school
little petty stuff...

- It doesn't matter.
- It doesn't matter anymore.

'Cause you're busy.

We're too busy. We have
too much shit going on.

Do I think that they'll make it?

I don't know.

But I don't think that anybody

needs to go through dating Whitney again,

and I don't think anyone wants
to go through dating Sara again,

so I pray that they stay together forever,

till death do they apart.

You know what? It's never gonna work.

- They're crazy.
- [Laughs]

[Kim Taylor's "Build You Up"]

♪ it's amazing, so amazing ♪

♪ how I've survived this road ♪

♪ feel the fever, I can feel it ♪

♪ down inside my soul ♪ [Sniffles]

♪ And I will be the
one to build you up ♪

♪ I'll build you up ♪

[Sniffles]

♪ And be the one to never doubt ♪

♪ I'll never doubt ♪

[Sobbing]

It's not fair.

♪ It's such a miracle ♪

One night, I came home,

and Cori had some bleeding.

And so we went to the emergency room,

and they did an ultrasound,

but they didn't check Cori's cervix.

And so they sent us home,

and they said everything was
fine, and they sent us home.

And the next day we went to our ob-gyn

who said that everything was not fine.

Cori's cervix was opening prematurely.

Um, it's just a condition
that is very rare.

I was five months pregnant.

The doctors tried to do a
procedure called a cerclage,

which would sew up the cervix

to make sure that we could
continue with the pregnancy,

but the condition was that,
um, Cori's water couldn't break.

[Sobs]

And then my water broke.

And we made it through delivery.

She came out at 9:12 p.m.

The first question we asked was,

"can we... can you put
her in an Incubator?"

And she needed two more months.

[Sobbing] We were so close.

She was too little.

[Sobbing] And Kacy totally
saw her take a breath.

She was moving all day, and we felt her.

She was fine.

There's nothing...

there's nothing that you
could have done, baby.

It was... you were... it was perfect.

She was perfect.

There's nothing.

[Sobbing]

It's okay. It's okay.

♪ Feel the fever, I can feel it ♪

♪ down inside my soul ♪

I don't know how I'm
gonna get through this.

I've never experienced heartbreak
like this and pain like this.

I don't know what I would do without Kacy.

I don't know. I'm just...

trying to take things day by day and...

♪ It's such a miracle ♪

I don't know.

I love this one. This one's my favorite.

[Sniffles]

[Sobbing]

♪ My love ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

Yay! We're here!
Homestead, Hunter Valentine!

Like, do we need to try the keyboard out?

No, I tried it out. I fixed it. It's fine.

There you go.

Okay, so we're gonna get the amp.

Dude, we don't need the amp.
It's... it's tuned to the tuner.

You're gonna tune a guitar to the tuner.

You tuned to the tuner
yesterday, and it didn't work.

Yes, and when I tightened it, it got flat.

You don't need to haul up all of our amps

to freaking set up and practice up there.

I want to hear the
synthesizer through the amp.

But then you bring that...
you bring that shit.

- That's what I'm doing.
- I'm not bringing it.

It's stupid. It's a fucking waste of time.

It's not stupid.

Why are you making a big deal out of it?

There's a fucking elevator right there.

The last couple days,

Kiyomi's just been kind
of short and snippy,

and it kind of builds
up after a little while.

As your bandmate, I'm asking you

if we can check this
thing, because when I put...

Fine, then go get your
stuff, and we'll do it.

I'm telling you, it's a waste of time.

That's what we're here to do.

It's just this perfect storm of the
stress before South by Southwest,

the stress of whether
the synth is gonna work,

you know, me not feeling appreciated.

Me feeling like I'm sacrificing
everything to be part of this band.

I don't know why you have
to be so difficult, dude.

I don't know why you have to
be such a bitch all the time.

I'm not a bitch, because you
can't hear your fuckin' tone,

and I respond with you with the same tone,

and then you realize when
you're constantly rude...

I don't ever give you this attitude.

When you're constantly rude to people.

You always talk like this to everyone.

- No, I don't.
- You talk like we're...

Yes, you do. No, I don't.

Why do you think they
call you "the dictator"?

- I don't care.
- 'Cause you're mean.

- You know what? I'm not.
- You can be really snippy.

No, you're a self-entit...

you're a fuckin' self-entitled
little asshole sometimes.

You're talking about yourself, dude.

No, I'm not. You need to check yourself.

I don't know what you're
talking about, dude.

I'm laid-back and chill.

Okay, then talk to the
rest of the bandmates

- and see what they say.
- Okay, you know what?

You cannot go through a day

without complaining about
a single fucking thing.

You can't... you can't go through a day

without talking to people
in a really nasty tone.

I talk to you...

and I know it's your
personality, but it's grating.

I talk to you exactly the
same way that you talk to me.

- It's grating after a while.
- Yeah.

You respond, and... and
you're mean about it.

So is your fuckin' self-entitled

little pissy piece-of-shit attitude.

All right.

She's done. I'm not... I'm not...

I'm fuckin' done with her.

Like, I don't understand why it's
such a big deal to try and do this.

I don't even want to play with her.

I said, "you're
self-entitled," and she goes,

"you're talking about
yourself right now, dude."

[Scoffs] Really?

- I put fuckin' eight years of...
- You know what?

Blood, sweat, and tears into working.

That's not self-entitled.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

[Dance music]

♪ ♪

Why are you taking that off?

Because we can't have this
outside... there's, like, fabric.

It'll smell like shit.

- So we just want the wood part?
- Yeah.

It's gonna take us, like, an hour
to get this fabric off the wood.

Right. [Laughs]

- How many people do you think
we're gonna be able to fit in this thing?
- A lot.

How many?

At least eight. [Laughs]

So we're gonna have our
pre-parties in the pod?

Yep.

We're building this thing,
and we're calling it a pod,

'cause it looks like a
giant bed that goes outside.

The pod is for laying outside,

and you could throw the curtains down

and maybe hook up with
somebody in some warm weather.

You think this is strong enough?

Strong enough for all the lovin'?

No, I think we're gonna have to...

well, there's supports in there.

Is Brittenelle gonna be
taking a turn in the pod?

No, she's not gonna be
coming around anymore.

I just had to break it off.

Lauren definitely, like, scared brit off.

It was very prevalent
that they didn't get along.

Like, even the energy when they
were in the same room together,

it was like, woof.

You need to do one thing at a time,

and getting into a relationship

- doesn't make sense right now.
- Yeah.

The first time in years
you've been single...

since we met, been
single, and you're like,

"I'm gonna wife up."

It's a little annoying that
Lauren scared her off like that,

but there's no point in upsetting Lauren,

so I'm just not gonna say anything.

- [Laughs]
- Yeah.

You were like, "what are you
doing? I need to shake you."

Yeah. I tried to shake you.

♪ The black widow starts again ♪

♪ and anyone's a target ♪

♪ and you're up, up in my web ♪

♪ up, up in my web ♪

[Line trilling] ♪ said
you're up, up in my web ♪

- Hey, Kiyomi.
- Hey.

I might fucking kill this girl right now.

Like, I... I... I'm losing my shit.

I don't even know how we're gonna

make it back to New York, to be honest.

When Somer called me The Dictator

and that everybody thinks
that you talk to them this way,

like, she's stirring the pot.

I needed to call my manager
to check myself, like,

"okay, am I asking for something
that's so unreasonable?"

I just... I just feel like lately I've
seen a side of you... it's pretty intense.

When I get irritated or, you
know, when I'm disagreeable,

it stems from somewhere.
It comes from something.

This is just random.

I feel that you've been also
kind of talking very, like...

- Sharp, right?
- Very, very sharp.

I think that Kiyomi and Somer

are both very strong individuals,

and it's hard to challenge Kiyomi.

Like, this cannot continue,
'cause it's coming to a point

where everyone's just getting
fed up with one another.

And it's gonna show onstage.

It scares me that, you know, you...

you're gonna have a bad show,
and you don't have bad shows.

- I know.
- If she doesn't want to play,

then she doesn't have to stay, you know.

Yeah.

It's just hard when, like, you know,

we're all laying it out there
and we're all sacrificing,

and, like, every step... I feel
like every day I get snapped at.

Kiyomi's strong personality

started, like, getting to
Somer, and right now in Austin,

there's... there's a lot
of tension in the air.

- Do you have a key?
- I don't have a key. What?

That's why it's become
a problem, you know?

Listen, dude,

we're talking about, like,
the tones and stuff, you know?

And we're all admitting
that we're all sensitive,

that we all get stressed out.

I really... like, I'm
gonna step in right now,

and I love you guys so fuckin' much.

You know what? I don't even
care about Lovefest right now.

I care about the shows.
That's my main concern.

I don't really care whether
you guys call me the dictator,

I have a job to do, and I...

The dictator was a joke.

Yeah, but, no, that's not the way that...

She said a lot of things that are really
offensive and really disrespectful.

I'm trying to just, like, remain calm,

even though I've already freaked out,

and, you know, get my head back
in the game to play this show,

because the whole point of the tour

was to get to South by Southwest,

and I'm definitely not
gonna let it get fucked over

by the fighting with Somer.

In general, I think that
you're pretty disrespectful,

and I feel like you are self-entitled.

I can't operate under being
yelled at on a constant basis.

I'm not yelling at you
on a constant basis.

You're just short.

- Yeah.
- That's all.

♪ Ain't no point in trying,
you can't please everyone ♪

♪ so why should I care ♪

♪ about my reputation? ♪

♪ my reputation ♪

♪ my reputation ♪

♪ my reputation ♪

♪ why should I care
about my reputation? ♪

[Line trilling]

Are you going home right now?

Oh, was it okay at work today?

Good. Um... I miss you,

and I just want to see
you more, that's all.

I want one so bad.

I don't want a goldfish.

- Huh?
- Nothing.

I know that Jay is not
100% in this relationship.

He doesn't ask me when he
doesn't see me for a few days

what I'm doing, where I've
been, why we haven't talked,

how my projects are going, did I finish.

He doesn't ca... I don't
even think he knows what I do.

Anyhow, I just miss you,

and if you cared at all
what I was going through,

I thought I'd share
it with you. [Chuckles]

It's just starting to, like, hit me

that maybe where I put him in my life,

he doesn't put me.

All right, well, I will
text you tomorrow, then.

All right, bye.

Everyone around me in my
life is getting married

and, like, starting their families.

He loves me so much.

If I had a partner that was
emotionally in the same place,

um, I would love... love to
get married and start a family.

It's awesome.

Fucking-A, I swear to God.

♪ You dance in a sea of people ♪

♪ bass fills up the room ♪

♪ I'll pretend like I don't see you ♪

♪ but I watch your every move ♪

Amanda and I are finally alone.

Brittenelle's out of the picture.

♪ Hello, it's nice to meet you ♪

♪ do you want a drink or two? ♪

So I'm excited at the prospect

of having a fun hook-up situation.

♪ To see through ♪

♪ I slowly get my hands on you ♪

♪ whoa ♪

♪ dance slow in the neon lights ♪

♪ let's lock in the heat of night ♪

♪ and I see the fire in your eyes ♪

♪ it's crawled up
and down your spine ♪

♪ pushing pillows in
between your thighs ♪

♪ you don't need
tomorrow for tonight ♪

All of a sudden we're,
like, a little drunk

and maybe, like, make out a
little, but it's like, "no."

It's a horrible idea
to fuck your roommate.

If this turns into something

where we get in a fight or something,

and I just moved 3,000 miles away,

it's not like I can just go
take off for a little bit.

I love Lauren... I think
she's beautiful and amazing,

and she's my best friend
in the entire world.

And I don't want to make her
feel, like, rejected in any way.

So it's like this weird balance
that I'm, like, trying to keep.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey.

How are you? How you doing?

- Good to see you.
- How are you?

Good to see you.

- You too.
- Come sit.

Are we interrupting a conversation or... ?

Um, no, we're just talking
about my girl drama.

Oh, nice.

- Do you know Brittenelle?
- Yeah.

Well, we started hooking
up when I got here.

Like, touchdown L.A...

like, night touchdown L.A.,
like, started hooking up.

Now she hates me.

- Now she hates you.
- Why is it odd?

But it was just, like, I don't know.

She's a little uncomfortable about Lauren.

And why would that girl be uncomfortable?

Well, we hook up, so...

Lauren is like, "I'm
naked. Come in my room."

It's like having a live-in chef, you know.

[Laughter]

Lauren and Amanda,

the whole friends-with-benefits thing...

if you're hooking up,
someone will catch feelings.

So one of you motherfuckers
got some feelings going on.

If I had to put money on it,

I would say Lauren has the eye for Amanda

a little... a little stronger.

It's crazy, 'cause we, like...

we can have that casual-sex
thing, too, with each other.

[Laughter]

I mean, we...

Sara sometimes doesn't like it.

Do you guys, like, tangle
your dreads together?

- [Laughs]
- Avatar. We're like...

Avatar.

Wait a minute. Have you guys ever fucked?

Hey, there was a couple of months

where she slept in my bed
more than anyone else ever.

- Oh.
- There was no sex, though.

Wait.

Yeah, no, I would never.

I mean... [laughter]

[Laughter]

Like, I think that we slightly
got propositioned to a threesome.

Yeah, that kind of happened.

I'd want to bone us.

- [Laughs]
- I'd bo... I do bone us.

[Laughter]

- I'm not kidding... a little bit.
- She's like...

I want to do it... I think we could do it.

I think we actually could.

Oh, yeah, it's cracking.

After the conversation with Jay,

I went to have fun with my friends.

I don't get out much, and I don't get

to just dance and play with my friends.

And I didn't want drama.

That's good! [Shouts indistinctly]

Romi walked in, and I just feel

like the energy kind of shifted.

And there was, like, a
weird tension in the air.

But why would she... a lot
of people have fucked her ex.

It's probably because
you're a pretty girl in L.A.

She sees you as the competition.

And anybody who's a competition
for her, she wants to...

- Yeah.
- Analyze and try to destroy.

You know, it's definitely come out

that there's been some tension

on Romi's part towards Lauren.

You know, after Kelsey and Romi broke up,

Kelsey wanted to go out and have fun.

Lauren was part of her fun.

And she'll hate on you
because you're pretty.

She'll hate on you 'cause
you're new and pretty.

Like, she'll do anything
to get over on someone.

She'll fuck your girl.
She'll fucking take...

fuck your man, apparently.

I'm sorry, but the fact is Romi needs
to be called out more often... fact.

It was a little awkward seeing
Lauren and Whitney and Sara.

I hooked up with Whitney.

I'm a threat, and it's
probably safe to say

that Sara doesn't want
me around Whitney at all.

- Shots!
- You're getting one.

♪ Well, here we go again ♪

♪ I hear you callin' ♪

She's not answering.

What?

But you asked... you wanted to talk,

and now you just suddenly
don't want to talk?

On top of the bullshit with Somer,

I'm really not prepared to
deal with Ali at this point.

I'm trying to, like,

stay focused because
we have to play a show,

and that's the most important thing.

- Are you upset?
- No...

We're not understanding each
other right now, and, like...

we shouldn't be talking.

Like, there's... we can't
even communicate properly.

Dude, I can't just call
you whenever I want.

I'm in a van with people.

By that time, we had
just arrived in Austin.

I got in a huge fight with Somer,

and she's pretty much out of the band.

What do you fucking want from me?

I'm still trying to call you after
I'm pushing all this shit across town.

I haven't played yet. Like, you...

you're not the least bit
understanding whatsoever.

What do you want me to do?
What do you want me to do?

I understand what you're saying,

but I'm saying I don't have
a choice, and I have to go.

It's not my... I'm a... oh...

- We got to set up!
- I have to go.

I have to go set myself up
and play a show right now.

[Dance music]

♪ Dress up and then they're
coming from the street ♪

♪ heading to the dance floor
and nodding to the beat ♪

It has been a tumultuous day,

just between emotions
and fighting and anger,

and all I want to do is get
to the gig and play a show.

And the second set...
[Continues indistinctly]

We're supposed to be on at 11:30 he says.

What?

What the fuck? 11:30? 12:30.

We were told 12:30.

On top of all the drama that
has happened throughout the day,

uh, we get to the first venue,

and we're totally late...
like, an hour late.

They're telling us that
we were supposed to be on

at 11:30 for our second show,

and in the contract that
we had, it said 12:30.

This is a really bad look.

We're late. We had no idea.
We don't have a sound check.

So we're not able to test the keyboard.

You know, basically, we're gonna have

to trust that this keyboard's fixed.

[Feedback whines]

I think we're gonna play about four songs,

'cause the schedule
got a little screwed up.

We're Hunter Valentine.

[Drumsticks tapping, keyboard plays]

♪ All this time together has left ♪

♪ me cold and weathered ♪

[Indistinct shrill lyrics]

♪ All your expectations caved ♪

♪ when I erased them, a crutch ♪

♪ for your empty heart, an excuse ♪

♪ you just played a part ♪

♪ and your lies caught up
to you, yeah, they chased ♪

♪ you to the truth, just deny ♪

♪ what you've said and
done, you're a cheat ♪

♪ and I hope you rot ♪

I channeled all of my
frustration and anger,

and I let it all come
out in that performance,

and it just felt really good.

No matter how much Somer and I fight,

our main bonding thing is music,

and we kind of put our differences aside.

♪ I guess it happens all the time ♪

I feel like somehow we can come together,

even after just a bloody mess

of throwing insults at each other.

Somehow, we can still play amazing shows.

♪ I try my best to take you down ♪

♪ you try to half stick around ♪

Between the aggression and anger

and the amped blood
flying through our veins,

we just killed it.

Like, this show was amazing.

We really captivated the audience,

and so many people were, like, blown away.

♪ I guess shit happens all the time ♪

[Cheers and applause]

♪ And you hate ♪

♪ the way you love ♪

♪ the things I do to you ♪

♪ when you're lonely, and you ♪

♪ wish you could get
me off your mind ♪

♪ how do you make me
come around, boy? ♪

♪ it's the venom on my lips, girl ♪

♪ I wanted somebody around, boy ♪

Amanda and I go to get a drink,

and Romi's right next to us at the bar.

♪ ♪

And it was this awkward moment,

and we're all just standing
there, and no one's saying hi.

No one's looking at each other.

♪ ♪

♪ it's the venom on my lips, girl ♪

♪ into the wall ♪

Lauren has hooked up with Kelsey,

but she's hooked up with
every girl in west Hollywood,

so it was just one person on her list.

I'm just trying to avoid them.

And I just had these people keep
trying to, like, introduce themselves.

I know who you are.

If I wanted to meet you, I'd
walk over and introduce myself.

I don't want to meet you.

So stupid.

I've never met Romi, but, like,

how were you content and,
like, happy being a lesbian

and then you're like, "I want
to put a dick in my mouth"?

Because she's not really gay.

Okay.

♪ How do you make me
come around, boy? ♪

♪ it's the venom on my lips, girl ♪

It just seems like high school, yeah.

It's like Mean Girls.

Let's go dance.

Let's go dance.

♪ It's the venom on my lips ♪

Oh, my God.

And I see Kelsey walk by,
and my heart just dropped.

Oh...

It never ends.

Kelsey and I haven't seen
each other since we broke up,

and she ignores me,
so it's just confusing.

Why?

No.

No, I...

She just looked so sad.

You could just tell she wasn't happy.

And the minute she saw me,

I could tell she felt, like, safe,

and there's just all this still here,

and I love her so much, and
she's standing in front of me...

and just like two peas in a pod.

She's very sweet to me,
and she's not wasted.

And she got sober for herself,
and we've been broken up,

and she's still sober,
and she's out tonight

not getting involved with the mix,

not getting involved with the drama.

And there's something very,
very special between us

that I don't really
have with anybody else.

[Dance music]

♪ ♪

[Mellow rock music]

♪ ♪

♪ you were already down ♪

You want a cup of coffee?

♪ When my tears caught up to you ♪

So Romi called again.

I think we need to figure out what...

what we need to tell them...

so that they stop texting.

Okay.

I was thinking maybe
we should tell Alyssa.

And then she could... disseminate.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

[Sighs]

Do you want me to tell her in person?

I don't know how...

what the right way to do this is.

[Sighs]

Maybe we should just ask
Alyssa and Whitney to come over.

- Let's just get it over with.
- Okay.

I'll just text her right now.

[Sighs]

[Cries softly]

It's okay, babe. Come here.

[Sobbing]

♪ The city speaks to me ♪

♪ as I walk through the city streets ♪

♪ the city speaks to me at night ♪

- It's a beautiful day.
- I'm starving.

I know. Me too.

Um, yesterday was insane.

The whole reason the fight started,

in my opinion, is because

I started getting annoyed when she said,

"aren't you so glad that
I fixed the keyboard?

I saved the band so much money.

Now you guys don't have
to pay for all my stuff."

I'm like... in my head, I was like,

"we were not gonna pay for that anyway."

You know, I really...

like, she's my friend,
like I really love Somer.

I think she's awesome.

But when it's bad, man,
it's fucking bad, like...

I felt frustrated, because when
I play a good show with Somer...

when the band plays a good show
with Somer, it feels so good.

But when we have to put up
with some of her bullshit,

it just seems like
maybe it's not worth it.

I think once this tour's done,

we should weigh out the pros and cons, um,

and we should come up
with a list of, like...

"Is this what we need from
you to be in this band."

But is she who you want anyway?

I like her, but I can see...

I mean, I never fight with anyone, really.

- And I've had so many...
- Yes, you do. [Laughs]

I don't know why you think

you're this peacemaker all of a sudden.

You're a fuckin' fiery Italian fighter.

I just don't like to fight.

Nobody likes to fight, I don't think.

- Yeah, but...
- Maybe Alex likes to fight.

I've never... I've never
had an argument with Vero.

I mean, like, not really... one, maybe.

[Laughs]

I've had two fights
with Somer on this tour.

Yay! Oh, she's gonna throw down.

- Throw 'er down, baby.
- Oh, my God!

I don't think she's a bad person.

She was my friend.

I just...

you know, we need to
all be on the same page.

Oh, that girl's... babe, behind you.

[Laughs] Hello.

Ha ha ha.

♪ Rock, baby, rock, baby,
rock, baby, rock, baby ♪

♪ rock, baby, rock, baby,
rock, baby, rock, baby, rock ♪

♪ ♪

♪ rock, baby, rock, baby, rock, baby ♪

I feel like it's like I see you
Friday night, then you go to work,

and then I see you
Sunday, and then that's it.

And during the week, we're
not spending any time together.

That was my argument when you were looking

at apartments in long fucking beach.

Well, you weren't helping me find a place.

You're an adult.

So? You're my boyfriend.

- Oh.
- Oh.

I help you all the time.

You help ram your penis into me

and hold me tightly afterwards

while we watch football and eat the meats.

- And you're welcome.
- [Laughs]

As my boyfriend, you should help
me find a place that's near you,

otherwise, you should
fill that gas tank up

the way that I fill mine up
and come see you all the time,

because I want to see your face.

You're the only one.

That's why I bought an apple.

So you could Skype me from
long beach to Hollywood?

So we can do that...

Jay's defense mechanism is humor.

Let's just make a joke about it,

and then we don't have to talk about it,

don't have to feel it.

He doesn't want to feel anything.

Well, the way you talk to me,

it doesn't sound like
somebody who loves me.

Why are you talking shit like that?

- Am I crazy?
- You're a train wreck.

I'm not a train wreck.

You're still calling yourself
a lesbian all the time.

It makes it a little weird to
be in a relationship with you.

You're not a lesbian.

I'm sorry, when you date a
boy, you become not a lesbian,

you become a heterosexual or a bisexual.

Shouldn't you love me
for exactly who I am?

- You're growing on me.
- Uh...

When I'm having sex with you,

there's love behind it, and it hurts.

- It hurts so good, though.
- It hurts in here.

- What's that?
- My heart.

Because you don't know the
scars you're putting in me.

You know how hard I work
to fix this fucked-up-ness,

and you are ruining it.

Romi wants too much too fast from me.

She wants to, you know,
be together all the time

and, like, live together and all
that stuff, and we're just not,

in my opinion, at that level,
and it's really frustrating her,

and I can see it, and I feel bad.

Our opinion of how the
relationship should be

at this point is a lot different.

Okay, let's get into it.

The last time we dated, we
broke up again because why?

- 'Cause I was a drunken mess.
- Right, okay.

Then you started dating somebody else,

and I started dating my ex-girlfriend.

We break up, you decide you
want to be friends with me again.

[Coughs]

And then I said to you,

"this is probably really not a good time."

And you said, "I'll take
you any way I can get you."

Let's just see what happens."
And that's what you got.

How long do I go knowing that
I'm not really there with you

and just taking what I can get?

But you knew this was how
it was gonna be going in.

Don't cry.

I love you, and you like me.

I feel like I'm giving a lot of
myself into this relationship.

[Sniffles] And...

like, I'm not getting it back, and it's...

already, like, a really
scary relationship to be in.

I mean, I think that Jay is just
kind of along for the ride with me,

but he's not, like, with me.

It was me saying, "hey, I
really want to try this again,"

and you being like, "oh,
you know we have fun,

"and were friends, like,
we enjoy each other.

Let's just do that."

But it wasn't like, you know,

like you really wanted to
be in something with me.

I know it's not what you want,
but it's what I can offer you.

And what if what somebody
can offer you isn't enough?

Then that's something
you need to think about.

Mm-hmm.

♪ When I was a child, I
held to my mother tightly ♪

You know?

Uh-huh.

♪ But they didn't bring me ♪

♪ everything I hoped they might ♪

♪ I fell into love ♪

♪ like a skydiver in the clouds ♪

♪ it wasn't enough ♪

♪ no, we couldn't
sustain it ourselves ♪

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

How are you?

You're so close, yet so far away.

My mom and I have always been super close.

And my mother loves Sara.
They have a great relationship.

I think my mother is gonna
be very excited for us.

- Uh-huh.
- [Gasps]

- Do you like it?
- Yes.

Well, on that... on that same topic,

she has another ring to show you.

What is that?

What do you think it is?

- Are you kidding?
- [Laughs]

We're engaged.

[Laughs]

- Okay.
- [Laughs]

You're not happy?

Ma, you're not even excited.

I'm engaged!

- She's surprised.
- Well, yeah, I don't...

Are you shocked?

- We'll see how it...
- [Laughs]

If it... [laughs]

What?

It's stra...

It's strange that I'm engaged?

I'm, like, a little upset
at the reaction from my mom.

You know, I'm telling her one of
the biggest announcements of my life.

It's not necessarily what
you envision in your head

- your parents' reaction being.
- Oh...

Love you too. [Laughs]

Mwah.

Okay, bye.

Bye. I don't know.

It's okay.

I thought my mom, out of everyone,

would be super stoked right off the bat,

and it's a little discouraging, you know?

She loves you so much, babe.

You know?

And, like...

I don't know.

I love you.

I love you too.

- I love you.
- Love you too.

[Mellow pop music]

♪ ♪

You stopped being with
men how many years ago?

I don't know... like,
seven, eight years ago.

Okay.

And then when you look at everything

that transpired from then...

Like, when dad died,

I think that my thoughts
at that time was like,

I'm just gonna run and go
somewhere where I found safety,

which was, like, watching you with Tina,

and a woman relationship
was my home, was what I knew.

And that's when I started dating,

and I was attracted to women,
and I wanted to explore that,

and I wanted to find out at that time

what part of me wanted to
connect with... and be with women.

What I did, though, mom,
is like I just shut out

any opportunity with
any man at that point.

It was like, no more, I'm done, no guys.

Mm-hmm.

I'm dealing with, like, you know,

my issues with Jay and stuff, and I think

that a lot of what I went
through growing up is coming up,

a lot of... the way I was raised.

How I want to start a family,

what does a family look like to me?

Is it a woman and a man?

I don't know what it's like
to date a man other than Jay.

Right.

And it's like when he sits
there and he's like, you know,

"I don't really love you," it's
like, "well, maybe you don't,

"but maybe there is
somebody out there that does,

and you're not the only guy."

And he's so used to
being just my only guy.

I'm in a place, mom, where I feel like,

what if I don't like men?

And when I want to go back to women

and that that's where I feel safe,

and that's not a good place to be.

I want healthy relationships
with men in my life,

but I don't get them,
I don't understand them,

where with women, I mean,

it's all I've ever been raised and known.

And, like, with my dad being gone,

like, there's parts of me that wants

to have that relationship
so bad in my life.

But where I'm searching
for it, I don't know.

You're figuring it out.

You don't have to have
all the answers tonight.

I have to go work.

I love you.

I love you too, baby, very much.

Don't worry about what people think, Romi.

♪ There's a rhythm in my heart ♪

♪ that keeps it beating ♪

♪ ♪

You're gonna do all the talking, right?

Absolutely.

[Knock on door]

[Sighs]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Come on in.

- Okay.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Come on in.

[Laughs]

Well, so there's something
obviously missing.

We just wanted to tell you guys in person.

Um, Cori went into preterm labor,

and the doctors couldn't stop it.

So, um...

so Charlie, our little
girl, came way early...

too early, and, um...

she couldn't survive.

[Whispering] Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

So I know that you guys
wanted a throw us a baby shower

and everything, and it just...

we wanted to tell you and let you know.

[Sniffles]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, guys.

I'm so sorry.

We haven't really told anybody.

Like, our family and
our best friends know.

- Yeah.
- I mean, I've...

I don't know how.

So we were just kind of hoping

that maybe you guys could
help us just tell some people.

Of course, of course.

To be sitting in a room with a
couple that's just lost their child

that you care so deeply about,

it's like you don't know what to say.

I mean, they had to deliver her.

Yeah.

And I saw her take a breath.

So she made it, like, all the way out.

And Kacy got to feel her move

for the first time that day, and...

- She was really cute.
- She was really cute.

- She looked exactly like Cori.
- But we got to hold her and...

You did?

Mm-hmm.

You know, my mom...

she had a set of twins
before my brother and I

that she lost at six months.

And then she ended up having us,

so just don't be discouraged, you know.

We're both here for you, for sure...

and anything you need us to do.

I'm so sorry.

I have to hug you guys. [Laughter]

I got to go over there. [Murmuring]

I think it's the only thing that
is just helping me get through this

is just having that
memory of seeing her face

and holding her little hands.

Do you guys want to try again or what?

Is that a weird question?

- We're going to.
- Yeah.

Yeah, the doctor said I would be...

I would be ready physically...

mentally probably not, but...

- Yeah.
- I would be ready physically.

And I mean, seeing how long it
took last time, like, it just...

We want to still be
parents. We are parents.

I mean, we have a daughter...

you know.

She is my first. She'll
always be my first.

But we're gonna try again.

Another special soul will come into
your guys' life, I'm sure, you know.

You guys are gonna be awesome parents.

Absolutely.

Thanks.

It's just... it so hard
to think about the future.

I'm just so stuck here now.

[Sniffles]

♪ So I'll take this bright, new day ♪

♪ ♪

♪ the birds just fly my way ♪

♪ and whisper ♪

♪ "it'll be all right" ♪

Hey. I'm homesick.

- Homesick?
- Yeah.

- Oh, man.
- [Laughs]

Honestly, coming here and
leaving my ex-girlfriend,

even hooking up with another girl,

if anything, makes me
miss her so much more.

I still have very strong
feelings for my ex-girlfriend.

It's like, you can't have a
long relationship with somebody,

get up and leave, and not expect

that you don't have, like,
these unresolved feelings.

If I brought to the
table right now to Lauren

that I miss my ex-girlfriend,

after all the shit that happened
with brit, she would kill me.

It's weird, like,

not having my friends around
all the time, you know?

I mean, I have friends out here,

but not like my friends
in New York, you know?

And I miss you guys. [Chuckles]

I miss you too, man.

Come back home. I know.

You know, if it doesn't end up being,

like, everything I want it to be,

then I'll probably move back.

But I can't tell Lauren that,

'cause she'd probably freak out.

I love spending my time
with Lauren, you know.

But I don't need a mom.
Like, I don't need somebody

asking me where I am all the time

and what I'm doing and what's going on

and, "what time are you gonna be home?"

And it's just like,

"let me do what I want
to do. Like, chill out."

- Put a smile on your face.
- [Laughs]

All right, I'll talk to you soon.

[Knock on door]

Hey. You've been in here a while.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

What's going on?

- I'm just homesick.
- Yeah.

So I'm being a baby. [Laughs]

No, you're not.

I don't think I've gone
anywhere without feeling

some sort of sadness and
missing someone, you know.

Yeah.

It's good to get out of your comfort zone,

and just you being upset right now

and being homesick...
that's making you grow.

I mean, it's like when
I moved to New York,

it was like an extreme-growth thing,

you know, and it takes a lot of courage.

- Yeah.
- And it just makes you

a better person, you know?

I have an idea. Let's
take a trip to New York.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Would that make you feel better?

I feel a little better.

Yay. Good.

I'm glad I made you
feel better, or I didn't.

Maybe you just don't
want to talk about it.

No. You make me feel better.

Mmm. I'm so glad you're here.

It's totally normal to
feel this way, you know.

I know, I'm glad I'm here too.

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ah ♪

♪ I saw a heart break,
I saw the clouds form ♪

♪ I saw her turn away,
pull up the cover ♪

I know that Jay is not
100% in this relationship,

because anybody who was
100% would be more there.

Will you come over?

I think that he's happy
with our relationship.

I don't think he's trying
to go anywhere else.

I don't think he wants out.

But I'm not happy.

[Knock on door]

Hi. Oh!

[Pop music]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

♪ If you chase a mouse
by its ratty tail ♪

♪ you could catch a cat,
and would it hardly... ♪

♪ the kitty you caught
is a mouse as well ♪

[Moaning]

[Moaning, gasping]

♪ Maybe if you begged me ♪

♪ I would gladly
reconsider your offer ♪

♪ seriously ♪

♪ you must think I'm crazy ♪

♪ to think that, baby ♪

♪ maybe I will give you ♪

♪ baby, I will give you ♪

♪ if I gave a second chance ♪

♪ maybe take another glance ♪

♪ at who you couldn't be ♪

♪ all the differences we had ♪

♪ how you acted in the past ♪

♪ well, this chance
will be your last ♪

♪ to redeem ♪