The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2010–…): Season 12, Episode 9 - Calamity Jayne - full transcript

Previously, on
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

You've got
a big day coming up.

I do!
I'm so excited for my birthday.

- I wanna go all... out.
- As you should.

Let me take my shoes off.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Whoa!

Oh, my God, she just fell.

Oh, my God, I'm lit.

I felt good
waking up to this.

When my mom was passing,
I actually feel her

more now than I did.



That sound is gonna haunt me
for the rest of my life.

I'm a very good person.

You told us that
already, and we know that.

Yeah, I'm gonna say it again!

- How is that helping tonight?
- I'm going to say it again!

I'm just realizing

that there is a lot more
to her

than I thought,
and not in a good way.

How dare you
question my empathy?

[laughs] Oh, my God.

You're a soulless person.

Stop, hold on.

You need a new villain?

Here I am.



*THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS
Season 12 Episode 09

[upbeat music playing]
Episode Title: "Calamity Jayne"

[♪]

Where's the bartender?

Where's my drink?

Hey... I almost said hey, Dorit.

[laughs]

You can't say
someone is soulless.

She lost a ****ing baby.

There's nothing you can say.
I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry
that you lost your baby.

Don't touch me.

I'm just trying
to reach out to you

because I understand this
in a way.

I lost two babies.

I totally understand
this, not...

You lost two babies?

I never heard this before.

I've had two miscarriages.

I never heard this before.

Well, I'm sorry, I did.

It's a very personal thing.

I love you, but honestly,
this feels like bullsh**

You're being
very strange right now.

No, I'm not being strange.

I'm being honest.

So you're gonna say
you lost two babies?

I did.

Okay, so out of the blue,
you say that,

and, like, we don't know that.

Well, I'm trying to reach

to her on a human level.

Do you want me
to be compassionate or not?

You looked
at me in the eyes...

Because I'm telling you,
I'm not falling...

And laughed at me
when I was saying I'm sorry.

Do you want to talk to me?

I see you.

Then if you think
that this is fake...

This is me being real.

Okay, go ahead.

So if you want to be
a mother... er,

- make me be ****ing real...
- Stop!

Excuse me.
Sutton, don't talk like...

Don't talk like that to her.

Don't talk like that to her.

She's asking me to be real.

- Sutton, stop, stop.
- I didn't ask you sh**

I didn't ask you to do sh**

We have... as you say
in English,

we hit a new low.

- Give her time.
- Y'all are being really mean.

- No.
- Seriously.

No.

When it comes
to miscarriages,

- it's really mean.
- No.

You're saying that you didn't
know that I had miscarriages,

and it is not...

Why would we know?

Listen, she lost a baby.

You did not.

Maybe years ago, I don't know.

This is recent.

What does that mean,
"We don't know"?

That's insinuating
that I'm lying.

That's the meanest thing you've
ever said to me in my life.

It's breaking my heart
and disappointing me

in our friendship.

Y'all are making me feel...

No!
I'm...

She's looking at me
like I'm the devil.

Are you?
[laughs]

No.

I don't know.

No, I would do
anything to help.

I mean, honestly,
what is happening?

I would never make you...

I would never, never in
a million years, never.

- I'm so sorry this happened.
- Sutton, it's all good, babe.

It's all good.

It takes time
to get to know people.

It takes time.

To my understanding
of human nature,

I feel there's something off
with Sutton, like, in general.

So until I figure out
what that is,

it's probably best
not to poke me.

All good, babe.

- Ugh!
- Come on.

No, it's all good.

I'm telling you, it's all good.

Come here.

It's all good.

[snores]

[laughs]

I literally cannot
with these two.

Let's fake hug. Bleh.

- [laughs]
- I can't. I can't. I can't.

I cannot.

I'm going to get my drink.
I'm out of here.

I'm good.
I can't with you guys.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

Oh, my God, the two of them
are, like, fighting.

Is Sutton crying?

Ah, always.

You need to take care
of yourself.

I'm really sorry.

Good night.

Oh, here they come.

Now, I just feel terrible.

I'm just the worst person ever.

Did Diana walk out?

Wait, what's happening?

And I said, listen, I...

- You okay?
- I'm great.

- Want to talk later?
- Yeah.

Okay, all right.
Bye, babe.

- Bye.
- Garcelle, goodbye.

Does anybody...

I know.

Get the ****ing car.

Where's your hot son?

Over there. [Laughs]

What?

- Get Oliver out of here.
- [laughs]

I need to get Oliver out
of here, or you need to.

Oliver!
Oh, my God.

I'm getting him out of here.

- Okay.
- Oliver?

- Garcelle!
- Oliver?

Oh, my God,
I want to speak with you.

Garcelle!

They're gonna eat you up.

Oliver, you're hot.
Get over here.

- We've been asking.
- [laughs] Thank you.

Hey, Garcelle?

Your boy, Oliver, is hot.

We were just wondering...

She's trying
to hit on your son.

She said, "Hey, Garcelle."

What the leg lift
is happening over there?

- [laughter]
- Oliver, I'm asking.

Are you married?
Are you committed?

- Yes, he's very committed.
- I am married.

He's got four children.

Have your baby mama
contact me on my DMs.

We could get it in three-way.

It's all good.

Oh, my God!

[laughs]

Oh, sh**

Oh, Oliver?

Yeah?

Y'all shut up.

Your mother is calling you.

Oliver, be a man
and come sit here.

Sit down with me
for one second?

- Yes.
- Okay.

What's up?

We just wanted
to bullsh** with you

- for five seconds.
- Go ahead.

Where's your mom?

- She's over there.
- Oh, sh**

We heard a lot about you.

Did you?

- Yeah, we did.
- Good things?

- Honey?
- Yeah?

- Let's go.
- No, wait.

- Is it time?
- I'm talking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sweetheart, I'm talking.

I get it.

Let your hair down,
have a good time.

But this doesn't feel
like that.

This feels like
"Take a moment,

"reassess your life,
what's happening,

where you're going."

This is not okay.

I love you.

- Happy birthday.
- Yes, I'm leaving.

It was nice to meet you.

Oh, my God,

he's ****ing shutting me down.

I'll see you again.

I'm just saying.

Yeah.
I know you got, yeah.

Are you sure?

Are you sure you know that?

Yeah.

Garcelle, you don't want
these flowers?

- You don't want your flowers?
- Sure.

Okay, here.

- Okay, we're out.
- Wait.

Love you girls, bye.

- What are you doing here?
- The flowers.

The flowers.

He's... don't cuss.

Oh, my... don't listen
to these ladies.

Get the [BLEEP] out of here
before you get in trouble.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

These women escorting
these teenage boys out of here.

Get out!

I know Erika is drunk,
and I know she's joking around,

but that's Garcelle son.

He's 14 years old.

I feel sick to my stomach.

He's getting the flowers
for his mama.

[BLEEP].

He's getting the flowers
for his mama.

What do you mean?
Who violated you?

I went in
to grab the flowers.

She was like,
"What are you doing here?

Get the [BLEEP] out of here."
I was like, "Damn."

Erika said that to you?

I was just grabbing flowers.

Are you okay?

Damn.

Hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

Erika, you hurt Jax's feeling.

- Don't talk to him like that.
- What?

You said, "Get the [BLEEP]
out of here,"

- and that's not okay.
- Jax, get over here.

- That's not okay.
- What?

Wait.

Garcelle, are you serious?

Yeah, that's what he said.

- That's not okay.
- Jax, come here, babe.

How many other
family members of mine

is she gonna go after tonight?

First Oliver, now Jax.

She's done.

Good night.
Let's go.

Oh, my God.

She was pushing it.

- She was pushing it.
- No.

It was not okay
for her to say that to you.

No, it's not fine.

No, it's not okay.

Garcelle!

No, no.

Coming up...

You're very hard
to have a conversation with.

Because you're trying to...

Apologize.

No, you didn't know

what you were stepping into.

You're really hard
to apologize to.

[upbeat music]

[♪]

Good morning.
How are you?

I'm good.
How are you?

Good.

Here we go, two shows, right?

Yeah, yeah,
only two shows today.

Is glam already here?

Marie is.
I'm not sure about LeDerek...

- Oh, okay.
- Unless he's in your room.

Hi.
Good morning.

Good morning.

Ah, hi, Robear.

Hi, love.

Hello, hello, hello.

Another day, another dollar.

What am I wearing?

You're wearing
the blue as the first one.

And then tonight,
I'm wearing pink.

I'd like to get
something on my face.

Did you want to do
the hair up first?

So then why don't
we start that?

My birthday party was lit.

Oh, my God, the dancing.

- It was so much fun.
- Kyle!

[laughs] Can we talk about Kyle
just mopping the floor, honey?

That floor was clean.

With her vagina.

Oh!

All: Oh!

It was so much fun.

In the car home,
Oliver was like,

"Boys, you have aged
a couple of years..."

- Yeah.
- "Just in one night."

It was going so well
in one corner.

[laughs]

And then there was
another corner

- called the Erika Jayne corner.
- Oh.

I didn't appreciate
how she spoke to Jax.

She's got to figure out
her meds, cocktails,

meds, cocktails, meds.

She's got to figure it out.

On the ride home, I tried
to explain to Jax, you know,

that she was drunk.

She wasn't
really paying attention

to what she was saying.

- What are you doing to her?
- Flowers.

- Flowers.
- He's...

I'm just getting flowers.

Don't cuss.

I would like for her
to apologize to him.

Erika was wasted in Mexico.

She was wasted
at my birthday party.

I'm sick of her. Enough.

She was lit that night,
and we love to see it.

No, you love to see it.

- [laughs]
- Other people don't love

to see it, Robear.

[upbeat music]

[♪]

Yo!
What's up?

Get over here.

Hi.
How are you?

- The bag.
- Yes!

Welcome home, Crystal.
There we go.

Come on.

You got to breathe
when you hit it.

There you go.

Hey.

So I told you a little
about my girlfriend.

- Yeah.
- You know, she had

an intense situation.

Very.

I've been wanting to take you

to a self-defense class,

but I don't want it
to trigger you.

No, I am very happy
to do that.

I really want to go through
some basic stuff today.

Okay.
I have never been

in a situation like Dorit
has been.

She's holding it together
so incredibly well.

- Hello, guys.
- Okay.

Hi, honey.

- Oh!
- He's ready.

This is Rashad.
This is Dorit.

Pleasure to meet you.

But trauma always catches up.

- It's so good to meet you.
- So good to meet you.

Thank you.
Thank you for coming.

I've heard so much about you.

Thank you for having me.

Of course.

Thank you
for thinking of this.

Thank you for bringing me here.

Mm-hmm.

I'm a big believer
in having the tools

- to be able to defend yourself.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, you want to be
able to protect yourself

and your children at all costs.

Listen, I got you.

Today, we're really working

on simple self-defense stuff.

Should we stretch
a little bit?

Yeah, let's hit it.

How are you feeling?

I... PK is leaving
for London

- tonight.
- Oh, again?

Not to mention, he was
in London when this happened.

- Yeah, well...
- So...

Yeah, I mean, I can imagine
that's all quite triggering.

Yeah.
I have to get used to it.

- I have to.
- Yeah.

And it still is very raw.

Listen, a lot of what I'm
going through... it's maternal.

For my children...
Because for them,

it's just another normal day.

I had to go straight into...

So they still
don't know anything?

No.

I don't know
if this makes sense,

but I feel
the trauma in my blood.

So what's
our first vulnerable target,

number one?

It's the eyes.

Now, if you've got nails,
you can just rake it

right across the eyes.
Use those.

Go like that.
Yes!

Use that, okay?

Use that.
In and out, boom.

We're gonna have our hands up.

This person is approaching us.

We're walking back.

We tell them to back up,
they refuse.

So they're gonna
get this elbow,

and then grab, put that knee
into his body, all right?

There we go.

D, I feel, like,
your power right now.

Oh, my God.

I can see it.
I'm serious.

- I can see it in your face.
- I'm literally waiting.

I'm waiting for someone
to invade my space.

[laughter]

I feel sorry for them.

Ha!

Fear, anxiety, anger,
rage, sadness, hurt.

Right here.

Hey!

Give me two more,
hitting with that elbow.

Ha.
It's that knee.

Hey.
That's it.

Am I visualizing the men
that were in my home?

Sure.

But would I do

anything different than I did?

- No.
- Ha!

- One more.
- Ha!

Give me one more.
Go hit it.

Hey, you're there.

Hey, nice one.

You got power.

You have
so much inner strength.

- Yeah, girl.
- Little and mighty.

[laughter]

That's right.

That inner strength is there.

[upbeat music]

[♪]

Buona sera.

- Buona sera.
- [speaks Italian]

This is your favorite room.

Yes, it is.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- Thank you.
- This is so pretty.

- I've never been up here.
- [kisses]

- Is that a book or...
- No.

Like, a handbag?

These are these bags.

Okay, when I see books...

You don't know these?
It matched

because I have
these red shoes, and so it...

- Oh, so it's a purse?
- Yeah.

- Oh, I thought it was a book.
- No.

And you were about
to, like, read me.

No, I was trying
to match my shoes.

- Bread is on the way for you.
- Thank you.

What do you feel like?

Okay, I'm gonna do
penne a la Norma.

Okay.

I think that I want
to get maybe the...

- The gnocchi.
- Okay.

- Perfect, thank you.
- Okay, grazie.

Thank you.

Everything good with you?

I'm good.

My house is driving me insane.

I'm so happy,
but it's, like, giving me...

Did you get your gates?

No, we haven't
passed inspection yet.

And will you pass inspection?

Yes, I'm waiting
on the hood for the stove.

Okay, well, that's good.

- Oh, wow, okay.
- That looks so good.

Oh, my gosh.

Why does this food
have to be...

I'm gonna eat all of this.

So delicious here,
you guys? [Gasps]

This looks so yummy.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Well, I wanted
to talk to you...

Yeah.

About Garcelle's
birthday party.

Mm-hmm.

Well, here's the thing.

You came in halfway.

Diana and I were having
our own strange conversation

by ourselves, and...

How was
that conversation going?

Not well at all,
but it was just the two of us.

And I wasn't even getting
to the part

that I wanted to discuss
with her.

And you were
quite harsh with me.

When I sat down,
you know,

you guys were talking
about the miscarriage,

and there was the...

You didn't understand
that we were

talking about that, though.

That's why it was
confusing to me.

- Right.
- And I didn't know...

First of all, I do want
to apologize.

Let me make it clear.
I don't think you made that up.

I don't think anybody
would make that up, okay?

Make that up?

I'm saying
I don't think that.

I don't want you to think
I ever thought that.

So maybe you didn't think that.
Good, because I didn't.

And don't push me.

I'm not pushing you.

It was a knee-jerk reaction, honestly,

because it was
kind of coming off,

to be honest, kind of odd
behavior on your part.

- And then with Diana...
- Right.

When she was talking
about her miscarriage,

you're like, "Well, that
happened to me, too."

So I kind of thought,
well, convenient timing.

- I was relating to her...
- I get that.

On a very, very deep,
visceral level.

And that is why I am
apologizing for that.

- Okay.
- And no, I'm...

You came into...

Oh, my God,
you're very hard

to have a conversation with.

Because you're trying to...

Apologize.

No, you didn't know
what you were stepping into.

That, too.
And I already said that.

So we're clear on that.

Sorry if that
seemed insensitive.

So I'm apologizing.

So thank you
for finally letting me

get those words out.

Thank you, because
you mean a lot to me.

And you mean
a lot to me, too.

I'm a very,
very loyal friend.

But do you see what
Diana's going based off of?

She doesn't know you yet,
and she's seen

these moments of these
blow-ups and then, like...

Whatever.

I apologized right
then and there,

and I said, "You're right,
and I was wrong."

Here she is.

"Diana, I am so sorry."

And I gave her a hug.

I did.
I said, "Diana"...

It was about as real as you
hugging that bottle of wine.

- I can't with you.
- This is for real.

I can't.

You're really hard
to apologize to.

- I'm sorry.
- You, like, don't shut up.

- I mean...
- I'm sorry.

- But it feels...
- Come here.

Give me... give me some...
Give me some love.

- You didn't...
- Are you sure

you're not gonna think
I'm punching you?

Shut up.

You're such
a delicate flower.

This is so good.

Oh, my God, it's amazing.

This is delicious.

It's so good.

- I make this at home.
- You can take it home after.

- But mine's not as good.
- But we're not...

I'm not done eating,
so you'll have to wait.

[laughs]

What do you mean,
I have to wait?

If you think you're
gonna wrap that up now

while I'm still eating,
you have another think coming.

I'm gonna shovel this down.

Coming up...

How was Garcelle's party?

Cheers.

Ugh.

[laughs]

Was it good?

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[♪]

Ooh, those are beautiful.

They look just
like the stuffing.

They're gonna look pretty
with my stuffing,

- which means you...
- [gasps]

I just scratched
the marble with this.

Thank God that
was you and not me.

That's all I can say.

What the frick?

Phew.

Who sends sh** like this?

That's my pot
that I gave the florist

to put my flowers in.

Ugh.

I think I need to run out
and buy

one more smaller turkey,
by the way.

We're now automatically
a family of eight

because Alex and his mom.
We're not...

- That's awesome.
- No longer six.

It's gonna keep growing, too.

Farrah and Alex have been
dating for a few years now.

My business is successful,

and I've been doing well.

And if Farrah
and I had...

Well, when we have
a child together...

- Okay.
- When is that?

It was definitely time
for them to get engaged.

Like, if you're
gonna be together

the rest of your lives,

what are you guys waiting for?

We're gonna become a family

of 10, and 12, and 14,

and 16, and maybe 22, and...

I'm gonna need
a lot of turkey.

I'm gonna make that whole top
floor for a baby with a crib,

like I originally said
when we bought this house.

I feel like I was
very fortunate to grow up

with my grandmother living
with me.

Kim and I were working
on TV shows.

My mom would take
one of us to the set,

and my grandmother would take
the other one of us.

So I grew up very close
to my grandmother.

You know I'm gonna put
a crib in my room.

Honey, there's no way you're
gonna put the baby up there.

Of course,
I'm not going to be living

with my grandchildren.

But I want to have

a very close relationship
with them.

It's just a play area,

but the baby will sleep
with us.

Gosh, I really am
going to be annoying.

Will you stir this up
for me for one second?

My arm is getting tired.

I have a bad...

Can you just do
one little thing, please?

This look good?

No, I need it all mixed up.

There's butter in there,
and it has to be all mixed.

Oh, there's butter in here?

Yes, a lot.

- Honey, never mind, go.
- I got it.

I got it.

You literally don't know
how to make one thing,

and then you try to, like...

I know how
to make everything.

Put in your two cents.

[upbeat music]

[♪]

So what you're gonna do is,

you're gonna take one of these.

Put one here,
and then you can put

the bun right on there.

Try that.

And then pass it to Jax.

How great is this?

This is what we do
with our kids, right?

Yes, exactly.

Like I said,
they've been coming

since they were, like, five.

And I was, like, trying
to explain to the kids.

- They were like...
- They didn't understand it.

Oh, Thanksgiving, and
I'm like, this is their meal.

We're doing this
on Thanksgiving, you guys.

And listen, they serve
over 4,000 people...

Wow.

- On this day.
- That is unbelievable.

It's really good.

I'm so happy
you want to help.

That's a beautiful dinner.

It's the biggest excitement
for me so far in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving
for everybody.

- Happy Thanksgiving.
- Yay!

Wait, wait.
Is this all for me, Zo-Zo?

No.

- No?
- No, this is a lot of...

This looks like
pillows of wonderfulness.

[laughter]

I'm on fire.

- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah.

[all cheering]

Happy anniversary.

Love you guys.

This is my sister,
Kim's, fudge.

This is what Teddi is trying
to pretend she baked.

[laughs]

[relaxed music]

[♪]

Hello!

Hey.

- Oh, wow.
- Hi.

Whoo.

Every time is
different house.

[both laugh]

- How are you, baby?
- I'm good, love.

- You?
- Okay.

- How have you been?
- It's good to see you.

Yeah, my love.

I can't get over
how good you look.

- [gasps] I love this.
- Right?

I've seen two
of Diana's houses.

Diana had a place that
she sold about a year ago,

and I thought the view
was priceless.

And I found out that it was
an $87 million view!

sh**

Did you have
a nice Thanksgiving?

We did.

It was Eli's birthday
for Thanksgiving.

- That's right!
- So it was really...

- That's right!
- Cute.

El Bell, happy birthday!

Oh, my God.

Wow.

[applause]

She is...

God, she's the cutest thing.

She loves the party.

- She is her dad daughter.
- That party with the dolls.

I'm telling you,
when party was over...

I think she takes
after her mom and dad.

That's for sure.

Eli is a party animal.

She loves ABBA.

She loves, actually,
"Dancing Queen,"

and she does
the little, like, move.

She dances.

You know, one year.

It's cute.

- I can hear a hummingbird.
- That's good.

That's good.
You can?

Did you not hear it,
that little like...

No.

You'll hear it
before you see it.

No, but I love a hummingbird
right now, of course.

That's Lois, which...

How are you feeling?

You know...

Is it settled in?
Do you like...

- No.
- Are you processing?

No, not yet.

I don't know,
because the holidays,

- you know, it really kind of...
- Oh.

You know, you
don't think about that.

And Christmas is
gonna be really hard.

I know.
And so that was hard.

I can't lie.
It was really hard.

Every day is different,

and I'm processing it differently

every single moment.

But we were in New York,
because Harry

is doing press for his...

- His show, "The Hot Zone."
- How was that?

- Great.
- It looked great.

It's great.

Like, there was
the one picture

of three of you,
and I was like,

"You look
so happy in that picture."

I was happy being
with my family.

Yeah, you did.

It was hard to kind of
get out there and do it,

but I did it for Harry.

So the show is great.

It's really good.

So how was...
How was Garcelle's party?

- Cheers.
- Ugh.

[laughs]

Was it good?

[both laugh]

The party itself was
really good and fun,

and then Sutton caught me
on the way out

and just did the Sutton thing.

She does these faces.

- "So bed rest, huh?"
- Oh.

"Shouldn't you be
on a bed rest?"

Oh, God,
you got one of those.

- Something like that, yeah.
- Okay.

Rather than saying,

"Hey," you know,
"how are you feeling?

You know,
you're not on bed rest,"

it was like...

Oh, I know that look.

First of all,
I don't cancel the table.

Really?

[♪]

She called me soulless.

- What?
- I've never heard...

- I have never...
- Wait.

No, no, no, there's better.
There's better.

Wait, hold on, hold on.

She told me
I was mother... er.

What?

If you foreigner,
right, like, you translate

that as, I [BLEEP] my mom.

My poor Bosnian mom.

Like, okay,
this is really stupid.

And then, like, Kyle
is trying to tell her,

"Diana lost the baby,"
you know, and this and that.

She said,
"I had two miscarriages."

But it wasn't like,
"Hey, babe, I understand you.

I went through two."

It was like we were
in a gambling studio.

And I said,
I put down one miscarriage.

And she said,
"I raise you two."

That's narcissism.

That's just being
narcissistic, I think.

I think she's, like,
even grade up from that.

- [laughs]
- You know what I mean?

Yeah.
How do you behave like that

and not understand

you're hurting other people?

That, to me, is not
somebody that has empathy.

I feel like every time
I'm near her,

she brings me down
to her level.

And, like,
I don't want to be there.

That is just not gonna fly
with me, either,

if I see that behavior.

No, well, next trip,
they can go commercial.

I don't know.

I can do that for them.

[laughter]

So there's that.

Coming up...

I did not want to have
that conversation with her

with her in that condition.

Yeah, yeah.

I want her when she's sober.

To a setting
a bitch straight.

To setting a bitch straight.

[upbeat electronic music]

[♪]

- Hey, you.
- Hey, baby doll.

- Are those purple?
- Yeah.

Oh.

I'm doing
some color blocking,

and I'm doing
a little Italian Brunello day.

Color blocking?

Yeah, blocking.

Okay.

Color blocking?

What are you talking about?

I will give Mauricio this.

Normally, he's not even dressed
before our guests come.

What do you mean,
you're having a dinner party?

Now I can go shower.

Lovey.

At least he has clothes on.

Well, do you want
to make us drinks?

I would love to make
you a drink.

[knocking on door]

- Hello.
- Hello.

Are the Kemsleys here?

The Kemsleys are here.

- Hello, hello, guys.
- Beautiful!

You look lovely.

- Thank you.
- Oh, honey.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, my love.

Where's my best mate?

- Right here, mate.
- Good to see you, buddy.

- How do you feel today?
- I'm good.

How you doing?

Honey, the house
looks gorgeous.

- You changed these out.
- I changed those.

- They were white, yeah.
- Yeah.

I see it.

She wants
a Belvedere soda,

three lemons squeezed,

make the drink cloudy,
and take the carcass out.

I never even heard of carcass
before she said it.

That's enough.

Let me ask you a question.

Are you gonna put
any throw pillows

- or any pillows?
- Yes.

I wanted to actually bring in
some, like...

A copper, orangey
kind of vibe,

like this Hermes blanket that
we...

- Didn't we buy this together?
- Yep, we did.

It really doesn't go anywhere
in our house now

other than Jagger's room.

Well, you were
already thinking

- about moving before all this.
- Yes.

So where are you
at now with that?

We want to, but...

I don't want you to move,
because we're

- so close to each other.
- I know.

I was almost ready to move...
You know that...

- Yeah.
- Right after.

- Yeah.
- And I didn't even go

through what you went through.

They got almost
every single handbag,

ones that my mom had left me
that she'd saved,

jewelry that I had since I
was a little girl,

everything except what I had
on my body.

[gasps]

I feel comfortable
and happy now,

and I feel like you will, too,
in time.

You are the biggest reason
to keep me in this area.

Aw.

Will I feel better
in six months or a year?

I'm sure.

Will I still feel
like I want to move?

I don't know.

PK, come sit here, my baby.

Here, PK.

Last time I sat here
was the night...

Oh, I like this.

Of the home invasion.

I know.

That's the last time
I sat here.

- I know.
- That's right.

This is the first time...

Yeah, I just got,
like, a weird vibe.

Deja vu?

Yeah, and it was real drama,

and then you added to it

by saying
I was wearing leggings.

[laughter]

Look at his leggings.
Are you kidding me?

- They're not leggings.
- I thought that, too.

I wasn't gonna say anything
because of the moment.

They're not leggings.

[laughter]

Hold on.

You guys,
did you miss when Erika

said to Garcelle's son,
the 14-year-old,

- to go [BLEEP] off?
- I know.

I was there.

I mean, it's not funny,
but it is funny.

I think it's great
that she did that.

[laughs]

But I like seeing this
more relaxed side of her.

- 100%.
- 100%.

- Right?
- Totally agree.

Me, too.

It's really why I can give,
like, a major pass,

and, of course,
it's not my child.

Right.

You know,
so she had a few drinks.

She doesn't get like that...

I don't think I can ever
remember a time

that she was that loose
and free.

She's so much more fun.

I can remember,

in the first few years
I knew Erika,

I used to think,
"I wish she would open up more.

I wish she would
loosen up a little bit."

You don't think that
Erika is having fun with us

and doesn't enjoy
being with us.

I did say that, yes.

What are you talking about?

I've had the best time.

Clearly, the Erika that
we've known all these years

was holding a lot in.

So seeing this side of her,
more open and honest,

even if she's not always
showing her best side,

at least it's genuine.

Listen, she's entitled
to a blowout, in my opinion.

Exactly.

There's no question
about that.

And it was a blowout.

She told Garcelle's young'un
to [BLEEP] off.

The next one,
she tried to bang.

I mean, that's a blowout.

Oh, my God.

This sounds
like "Animal House."

How many blowouts
are you entitled to a year?

Me?
Two a week.

Oh, my gosh.
[laughter]

Says who?

I'm allowed two a week.

PK, you will find
yourself in divorce court.

[upbeat dance music]

[♪]

Okay, those are
for the "warter."

Don't make fun
of the way I say water.

This looks really pretty.

We have 25 minutes.

Hi, how are you?

I'm Sutton.
Nice to meet you.

- You look lovely.
- Oh, thank you.

So I'll make this very easy
for you.

Bread, brioche with butter
and, like,

- little edible herbs.
- Okay.

And then salad.

Do you want it, like,
a Cobb, like, tomatoes,

cheese, pancetta, like that?

No pancetta for me, please.

How will I know who wants
pancetta and who doesn't?

Put it on everybody's.
It's fine.

- Except for yours?
- Yeah.

Okay, got it.

I thought it would be fun

to have the ladies over

to see my new house.

I texted all the girls.

- Everybody's coming...
- That's good.

Yeah, it's gonna be so fun.

Even though it's not
anywhere near done.

This house needed
a lot of work.

It's taken two years
and cost a lot of money.

I'm excited
for everybody else to see

what I'm doing,
because I'm really proud

of what I'm doing.

We had talked about
putting the dessert...

Aren't they going
on the cocktail tables?

Oh, okay.

What are these flowers?
We need to hurry.

Just make it look pretty
on the... here on the high tops.

Do you have
any other questions?

- No.
- All right, let's go.

All right.

I'm gonna do
one place setting for y'all,

and then you can do it.

[upbeat music]

[doorbell chimes]

Coming.

[laughs]

Hello, darling.

Hello.

- You look so pretty.
- You, too.

I'm loving.

Thank you.

Are you ready for a luncheon
with the ladies?

I think I am.

[laughs]

As much as you can be.

- Listen, as much as I can be.
- Right.

Oh, my God,
let's talk about it.

- Yes.
- Do you want to sit?

- I'll get...
- Yes, where do you want me?

Do you want, like, a rosé?
We have a little bit of time.

Well, I'll never
turn down rosé.

Okay.

Sheree and I...
We've known each other

for so long that it's easy.

We have a great time.

There's no judgment.

Cheers.

Although she'll call you out
if she needs to.

She's that kind of girl.

Your party was amazing.

Thank you.

There was somebody
crushing on Oliver.

Erika.

Oh, oh.

I thought you were
referring to me.

Oh, yes, Erika. [Laughs]

So Erika was flirting with him?

Girl, like,
talking about doing...

Having a threesome.

Wait a minute.

And some of my guests
were taking flowers.

So Jax walks over
to pick up the flower.

And Erika says to him,
"[BLEEP] off."

[dramatic music]

What?

And so I walked back in.

- [gasps]
- And I was like,

"You can't talk
to my son like that

- ever again."
- Oh, Lord.

But I did not want to have
that conversation with her

- with her in that condition.
- Yeah, yeah.

I want her when she's sober
and she can hear me.

Is that happening today?

- It's happening today, girl.
- [laughs]

I don't know
where you're gonna be,

but you better find me.

Take my damn earrings
off now for...

- Okay.
- What we got to do.

Girl, you are backup.

- [laughter]
- And Jax is what?

He came in and said,
"I'm just getting"...

- 15?
- He's 14.

- 14.
- They just turned 14.

Nah, that's inappropriate.

Just because you're drunk,

that's not an excuse.

And I don't know
if she's used to talking

to people like that.

But she's not gonna talk
to my son like that.

To setting a bitch straight.

I love it.

[laughs]

I've never toasted
to that before.

[laughs]

Coming up...

What is everybody drinking?

- I learned a lesson.
- It was right here.

- I can only have one drink.
- Okay, good.

I can only have one,
and that's it.

- Yes, I agree with you.
- Yes, that's it.

- No, it's...
- One is good, agree.

Jo shy, let's do place cards.

- Okay.
- So we have me.

Garcelle
is bringing her friend.

The photographer needs to get
a picture of the table.

It's pretty, yeah?

This is so mucky!

I know.

This is a mucky mess.

I can't take it. Ugh.

Contrary to popular belief,

it does rain
in Southern California.

This is so gross.

Do you know, it reminds me
of Augusta National

when it rains and you
have to walk through the muck.

I'm trying to embrace this

"not everything has to be
perfect,"

but dad gum it, why does it
have to rain on my parties?

It is so mucky out here.

Ooh, somebody is here.

Let the fun begin.

- Thank you, Jake.
- You're welcome.

[♪]

Hello.

Am I the first one here?

You are.

Oh, God, I always am.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Look at how pretty
your hair looks.

Thank you.

I love the smell
of this candle.

It's my favorite new candle.

Oh, good.

Both: Look at these.

Are these not like...

- Who is this?
- Versace.

- So good.
- Aren't they fabulous?

- They're so good.
- Thank you.

- This is so pretty.
- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, you haven't been.
- Oh, Sutton, it's beautiful.

Oh.
Well, thanks.

- It's got great energy.
- It's a happy house.

Look at this bathroom. Gorgeous.

- Isn't it pretty?
- Wow.

We're still in progress.

- Like, it's not like...
- I love the vibe, though.

- Thank you.
- I really do.

It's different
from my other home, yeah?

It is.

Thank you.

Well, come on in.

Congrats on the house.

- I'm Lisa.
- Lisa, Sheree.

- Hug.
- Hi, Sheree.

Nice to meet you.

God, this is pretty.

Beautiful.

Oh, is this is your
first time seeing the house?

- Yes.
- It's great.

- This is.
- It's great.

- It's great.
- It's gorgeous.

You're so sweet.

Lisa, what would you like?

Could you do Belvedere,
soda, and lemon...

- Yes.
- For Sheree and I?

Minus the soda water
for me, and just do

a little bit of lime.

Same?

Oh, I'm sticking
for this for a while.

I want to be clear
before I talk to Erika.

Oh.

Could you turn on
some classical music?

Do you know any stations?

Is it XM?
Oh.

Okay, don't worry about it.

Silence is good, too.

Oh, I know.

Could you put on 103.5?

They're playing
Christmas carols.

I'm not worried
about this house.

I'm worried about Garcelle.

I'm not worried
about this house.

I'm worried about this
Haitian mom I've offended.

You told her son...

I think to shut
the [BLEEP] up or something.

To shut the [BLEEP] up.

Yeah, but it was like
we were sh** talking,

and I was treating
the teenagers

like they were adults.
They're 16.

They're not babies.
Let's not...

- No, they're 14.
- Oh.

They are?
Oh.

Well, [BLEEP]

I thought they were 16.

That puts it
in a whole new perspective.

Thanks, Crystal.

♪ Merry
Christmas, sugar ♪

[upbeat dance music]

[laughs] You look so cute.

Hi, Crystal.

Crystal!

[♪]

Oh, hi. Well.

Well, Dorit doesn't even
wait for you to open the door.

Dorit!

Welcome to the living room.

Are we traveling?

We're traveling, come.

That's the formal living room.

This is, like,
the family room.

I redid all the floors,
but they are

all original to the house.

- Wow.
- The house was built in 1930.

That's like our house
was 1930.

- I love this house so much.
- Same year, wow.

- Thank you.
- I love this bar.

I love this vibe.

Can I have a Belvedere
with three lemons, please?

Squeeze them in really well,
carcass out.

[♪]

This is it.

Awesome,
thank you so very much.

All right, the new place.

I'm just gonna barge in here.

Hi.

Hi.

In a second.

Well, hello.

- I love your coat.
- Thank you.

- Old school.
- That's amazing.

- Old school.
- It's great.

- It's amazing.
- For you.

This is one
of my favorite candles ever.

- Oh, good.
- It's handmade in Spain...

- That coat belongs to me.
- And I love it.

- It is wonderful.
- I need that coat.

Oh, thank you.

That coat should be mine.

Well, this... you're gonna
have to fight me for it.

Oh, you bitch.

Ladies, may I say hello?

- Hello.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

- How are you doing?
- I'm good.

Good.

- Good, nice to see you.
- Thank you.

Of course, absolutely.

- Hi, nice to see you again.
- Hello.

- How are you?
- I'm good.

How are you?

What is everybody drinking?
I can only have one.

- Wait, there's...
- Oh, and I learned...

- I learned a lesson.
- It was right here.

- I can only have one drink.
- Okay.

- It's only one.
- Okay, good.

I can only have one,
and that's it.

- Yes, I agree with you.
- Yes, that's it.

- No, it's...
- One is good.

No, it's like...
It's one and done.

Yeah, agree.

We've all had many a drinks,

but how you behave

is really who you are.

Oh, can I have
some champagne?

That would be nice.

[tense musical sting]

Ooh, who are we waiting for?

Kyle?

Are we?

Kyle.
Diana's not coming.

Okay.

She's sick.

Okay.
Oh, thanks so much.

It's so fun to see
everybody in this room.

We're eventually
going to get to lunch.

Cool.

I'm just getting
you all drunk.

All right, now we're
moving on to the kitchen.

- All right.
- To the kitchen.

This is beautiful.

This smaller thing...

Okay, do not pay attention
to the refrigerator.

Oh, it's so pretty.

Do not look
at the refrigerator.

It's like an art exhibition.

Oh, right,
your Sub-Zero is coming.

- Yeah.
- That's right.

You told me that.

It's on the barge.

Are we eating this
now or later?

Yes, yeah, yeah,
yeah, this is for you.

This is our appetizer
portion of the tour.

You know what?

I'm not a caviar girl,
but I need some food.

I'm not a caviar girl, either.

Finally somebody.

That's when I love
when you're around.

Because then you get more.

[upbeat music]

Eat it!

Caviar and oysters,
I'm happy.

- I know.
- And they're all so...

Hey!

Hi, everybody.

Hi, baby!

Hi!

- Everything good?
- Yeah.

All right,
we're going outside.

Okay.

I apologize for the muck.

Oh, it's cold out here.
sh**

Someone's gonna have to carry
me to the table,

because you can't [BLEEP]
with these shoes.

Oh, this is
straight mud, girl.

Y'all, look.

- Okay, I didn't know that.
- It's so mucky.

Weather sometimes
is not my friend.

And I wasn't expecting this,

but you just
have to persevere

and keep your party outside,
which is what I did.

- We're dealing with a swamp.
- I know.

It's horrible.

And I don't want
to ruin these.

It's like a symbol for Sutton.

You got this beautiful table,
set gorgeously,

sitting in this mucky,
muddy muck.

That's Sutton Stracke
for you right there.

I can't walk on that.

Look at these shoes.

Okay, I'm sorry.

It is so mucky out here.

Coming up...

Sutton, did you know
that Diana wasn't coming?

- No, she didn't tell me.
- Oh, she didn't tell you?

No.

- You know what I call that?
- What?

I can't walk on that.

Look at these shoes.

Okay, I'm sorry.

This, you got to handle.

I think we need
some flip-flops.

Can you get me some?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, why not?

Can you just grab some?

Because I don't think
I should wear my shoes there.

You want boots?

No, I mean, it's either
rain boots or flip-flops,

because look what
we're dealing with.

- We're dealing with a swamp.
- I know.

It's horrible.

And I don't want
to ruin these.

Did you make place cards,
you bitch?

- Yes.
- What's that?

Those are heel covers.
You don't need them.

- Oh, I'm okay.
- You're good.

This is a much
better idea, guys.

Thank you, Joshua.

Can I take those sandals?

It's the mud.

I want the one
with the color

so it goes with my suit.

- Here you go, babe.
- I love it.

I'm glad that y'all
are enjoying my flip-flops.

It's all good.

Well, I'm gonna walk
on my tippy toes.

I am not about to change into
flip-flops with this look.

So I will deal
with the mud later.

Oh, place cards.

- Just tiptoe...
- Kyle?

I am.
Yes?

- Through the tulips.
- Oh, I'm okay.

I'm too short to wear
those shoes.

I've never been so happy
about a coat choice in my life.

I might need a coat
with my flip-flops.

We either need a heater,
or we want coats,

like, something chic.

Oh!

We have fur.

Yay!

Let's do purple for me.

Oh, yes.

YSL.

- That's old school.
- It's 19... it's '40s.

What?

Oh, that's good, Sutton.

I have one, too.

Put it on.

That's luxury.

You get a fur coat,
and you get a fur coat,

a la Oprah.

Wait, is this our lunch?

I want to, like, monitor
how much I'm eating.

This is all we get?

You better be joking.

Then there's dessert.

You got a whole thing of bread.

And I just ate a flower.

Dorit, how have you been?

Beautiful.

I've been okay, guys.

Like, right now,
I have certain challenges

that I can't seem to overcome,
and I beat myself up.

What are
the challenges, though?

- Yeah, what?
- I can't drive.

How do you correlate
the drive?

What is the...
What is about the drive?

I can't be alone.

- All: Oh.
- I cannot be in my car alone.

Truth be told, where I used
to value being alone,

I don't feel comfortable
being alone at all.

You know when you're not
in control

of your own emotions,

and when you feel
that vulnerable,

you don't put yourself
in situations

where you could hurt yourself
or someone else.

And that's the way
I feel right now.

I mean, I haven't taken
my kids to the park or...

Want them to go to the park.

It's just thing...
Little things, little things

that it's like an everyday...
Yeah.

They'll be okay.

Take care of you.

- It's a small moment in time.
- Yeah.

But you're worth it.
Take care of you.

I do feel a sense
of guilt and worry.

I just hope that this mama bear
can continue to allow her kids

to live their normal lives

despite what
their mom went through.

Will you tell Josh that I
want to have a Sutton special?

- A Sutton special, yeah.
- Yeah, thank you.

Sutton, did you know
that Diana wasn't coming?

- No, she didn't tell me.
- Oh, she didn't tell you?

- No.
- I talked to her.

Are you coming?

Oh, not a chance.

No.

Oh, yeah.

You know what I call that.

- What?
- Rude.

It's rude not to tell
the hostess

that you're not coming
to her party.

I text the host
just to say I'd be late.

Yes, you did,
and I appreciate that.

I don't like
passive-aggressive behavior.

- Oh, really?
- No, I do not.

Oh, well, that's the pot

calling
the kettle black, isn't it?

- I'm never passive-aggressive.
- Oh, yes, you are.

- No, I am not, Lisa.
- Yes, you are.

[laughs]

- I am never...
- Yeah, you are.

- You are.
- Passive-aggressive.

You can't say you're
not passive-aggressive.

That's it.
Thank you.

Did you call Diana
a mother... er and soulless?

[tense music]

[♪]

Next time

on "The Real Housewives
of Beverly Hills"...

This is insane!

These are nice.

9,800 for a pair of sneakers?

How much do I need
for a snowman?

The drinking is becoming
a lot.

[dramatic music]

You may fill it.

You know, she's gone
through so much.

She's showing
a more vulnerable side to her.

And you don't think that
could lead to an alcoholism?

Diana and I...
We started to connect.

I don't think that she has
the same takeaway from...

- Experience that I did?
- Yes.

I had no idea you were being
fake and phony with me.

Right, I'm telling you now,
so you can be...

That's really sh** of you.

If you think
that was sincere,

then you really have a problem.

Shame on you.