The Ray Bradbury Theater (1985–1992): Season 6, Episode 7 - The Dead Man - full transcript
A lonely middle-aged woman moves to a small town to take a job as a manicurist and finds she is strangely drawn to local eccentric Odd Martin--who claims to be dead.
[music playing]
[eerie music]
[elevator dings]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well, right here.
All of this is my
magician's toyshop.
I'm Ray Bradbury.
And this is--
[theme music]
[peaceful music]
[brakes groan]
[tires squeal]
Damn fool!
You want to get
yourself killed?!
[engine revs]
[ominous music]
There you go, ma'am.
MAN: Hey.
WOMAN: Hi, how are you?
MAN: Taxi?
Over here, yeah.
There he goes again.
Crazy as the weasel
down a chimney.
You going to finish my shave?
The Sheriff ought to
throw him in the jail.
Now, now, Gilpatrick.
[bell rings]
Mr. Simpson?
That's me.
I'm Ms. Weldon,
from-- from Drummond.
Oh, fine.
Good to see you, Ms. Weldon.
New manicurist.
Well, you got to
be an improvement
on that Dolly Pride.
Damn woman didn't have a
civil tongue in her head.
[laughs]
- Well, I hope I have that.
Um, I just came and
thought I'd drop by.
Fine.
Got yourself a place
over Webster's, I hear.
You get settled in
there, Ms. Weldon.
See you right after 12:00, noon.
Yes, of course.
Goodbye.
She looks a queer
beetle, a maiden lady.
Old mother just died.
Don't suppose
there was a father.
MAN: Come on out, Martin.
Come on, now.
You're not dead.
But you're gonna be
if you stay there.
Get up.
- Sheriff?
Sure looks bleached out.
White as new snow.
- Yeah, new snow.
Hell, he's taking up
valuable parking space.
This being Friday,
lots of people
will be needing this spot.
Odd?
Oh, hmm.
Yeah, gives us a
hand here, boys.
You take the head and
take the feet there.
MAN: Come on, Odd.
SHERIFF: Just bring
him over here.
MAN: Up you go.
Just lie down there till
he gets tired of layin'.
Hmm.
Now, vamoose, you kids.
[bell rings]
MAN (ON RADIO): In global news,
the Country Farm Association
held its semi-annual convention
over the weekend as expected.
Odd Martin.
He's done that a
million times before.
Likes the publicity.
[peaceful music]
[can clatters]
[distant train whistle]
[music playing]
WOMAN: Odd Martin?
I've got a job for you.
And he says, madam, we've
already established that.
Now we're haggling
about the price.
[laughter]
Are these all right for you?
Eh-- guess so, yeah.
[gasps]
Please, excuse me?
Is that a kitten in there?
[meows]
May I see it, please?
[meows]
Oh.
[meows]
Were you going to drown her?
Oh, please don't do that.
I'll keep her.
I'd like to keep her.
Drowning's a terrible thing.
I know.
I been drowned.
[peaceful music]
[snipping]
Yep, he's certainly
one of the town sights.
Is that what he does,
clean the streets?
Oh, that and other
things, you know,
folks don't like to
do for themselves.
Didn't always though.
He was a farmer.
About 20 years back,
big flood washed away
his farm and all his stock.
He was missing for awhile.
But he turned up, stark crazy.
Said he walked out of the flood
waters after being drowned.
Claimed he was a dead man.
Must've thought we was
wet behind the ears, huh?
[peaceful music]
[meows]
[laughs]
Not leaving him lying
here all the time.
Up.
OK.
Bring him over here.
He doesn't get any--
any lighter, does it?
Huh?
Sure doesn't.
SHERIFF: Ma'am.
MISS WELDON: Mr. Martin?
Mr. Martin, would
you wake up please?
It's an awful hot
day, Mr. Martin.
I wish you'd try some of this.
It's cologne.
It'll help keep you cool.
MR. SIMPSON: Now, what
can you make of that?
Hmm, takes one to
know one, I guess.
Told you she was simple.
MR. SIMPSON: Have a good
lunch break, Ms. Weldon?
Yes, thank you, Mr. Simpson.
[meows]
MR. SIMPSON: That
cat of yours sure
is fascinated by Odd Martin.
Think she knows what
he had in mind for her?
[laughs]
You know, with the
night's drawing in,
I figure the best thing
could happen to Odd
Martin would be to get married.
[laughter]
What woman'd marry Odd?
Sometimes I believe he is dead.
Flies do hang around him.
[wince]
Gal-darn, watch what
you're doing, woman!
MR. SIMPSON: She knows what
she's doing, Gilpatrick.
Hold still while I
almost cut your throat.
- What?
- Ha ha!
Just joking!
[laughter]
Now, Miss Weldon, she
knows how to handle
Odd Martin in hot weather.
Didn't she get him
a bottle of cologne
and helped improve
his perspiration?
[laughter]
MAN: Funny how we
joke about Odd.
Sometimes I wonder if we
ain't really scared of him.
Come on, boys.
I mean, we don't let ourselves
believe he's really dead.
So we just make him
some kind of joke.
We just let him lay there.
He don't cause no trouble.
He's just there.
And I noticed old
saw-bones, Doc Hudson,
didn't really listen to Odd's
heart with his stethoscope.
Scared of what he'd find.
[bell rings]
Oh, sure is hot.
You'll just help
yourself, Ralph.
MR. GILPATRICK: There they go.
[sighs]
How do you figure that?
Kind of strange, huh?
[store customers chatting]
WOMAN: Yeah, that's what I want.
Come on.
Come on, honey.
I've been watching
you for a long time.
Want to know why?
You're dead.
You're really dead.
And I'm the only one
who really knows.
I believe, you, Odd.
I tried dying once.
I laid on the floor for an hour.
Then I quit.
Because I had to
go to the bathroom.
It's not easy, being dead.
Right?
No, it isn't.
Sometimes I see you walk by
my house, not going anyplace.
No place to go.
I tried thinking some
place to go, hard to think.
Sometimes I almost
know where to go.
Then I forget.
Once I thought, go to a doctor.
Have them declared me,
once and for all, dead.
But somehow, I never got there.
If you want, I'll take you.
No, I'm tired, but I'll wait.
I'm curious to see
what happens next.
But I know I'm dead.
Late nights, I lay
listening in my room.
But no heartbeat in my ears, nor
in my chest, nor in my wrists.
Nothing in me but dark night.
Maybe I'm still walking
because I died young.
Only 28, and not married.
Always wanted to
marry, never did.
[dark music]
But some whiles there's
something, makes me stir.
I think it's the wind.
It brings all these great
perfumes, or the sight
of a lady's
just-now-curled hair,
or the sight of her tiny
shoes on the sidewalk.
And I look up and there
she is, Ms. Weldon,
putting down her hand
and lifting me like I
was no heavy weight at all.
Shucks.
I can't help you with that.
Think of something else.
So long.
So long.
MAN: Thanks, ma'am.
Somebody say something?
Someone here?
Only me, Odd.
Walk me home.
MAN (WHISPERS): Isn't
that Odd Martin?
WOMAN (WHISPERS):
And with a woman.
[peaceful music]
[gasps]
Oh, how nice.
Odd?
Ms. Weldon?
What's your name?
Your first name?
John.
Well, that's a nice name.
Nicer than Odd.
Ms. Weldon?
Yes, John?
I've been saving my money.
Got quite a sum.
Don't spend it for anything.
I've got maybe about $5,000.
Sometimes I count it and get
tired and can't count more.
So why do you like
me, Ms. Weldon?
Well, because you're
quiet, not loud and mean,
like the men at the barbershop.
I've had to fight, even for
a scrap of respect there.
But still, they look
right through me.
I'm like a window with no glass.
Not even a reflection.
I'm lonely, John.
And talking to you is, well--
now, I wish we could do
something about the way
people talk about you.
John, if only you'd stop
saying that you're not alive.
So you don't
believe me either.
You're half alive for
the care of a good woman,
for loving, for
living decent, John.
That's what you mean
by dead, nothing more.
Is that what I mean?
Well, what else could it be?
[ominous music]
[children howling]
[peaceful music]
GIRL: Come on!
BOY: No, you said you would go.
GIRL: Yes, it's a great idea!
What's your deal?
Would you do it?
- Go on.
- Go on.
Yeah.
Mister?
Sir?
We were wondering if you
might want to-- would--
Come to a Halloween party.
Why?
Because-- because
it's Halloween.
Why?
BOY: We-- we want you.
GIRL: We want you
to come scare us.
Yeah.
I got no costume.
Well, that's OK.
Come as you are.
Come scare us.
Yeah.
Yeah, come to our party.
We live on South
St. James street.
Yeah.
[kids laughing]
Scare?
Come as you are?
[music playing]
[knocks on door]
ODD MARTIN: Trick or treat.
Why, John.
Hello.
Treat, I guess.
Ms. Weldon, do I scare you?
Why heavens, no.
In that case,
would you marry me?
You're proposing
to me, Mr. Martin?
What does that mean?
It means I love you.
[whistling]
What say?
[humming "here comes the bride"]
No.
No.
MEN: No.
Yep.
[clock ticking]
All so darn sudden.
Ah, it's been coming on.
Where are you going to live?
Bought a place
yesterday, real cheap.
Didn't know we had
cheap homes in town.
Just outside.
Real small.
[WHISTLES "HERE COMES THE
BRIDE"]
What was that about
a small home, cheap?
I'm the only real
estate agent in town.
I sold him nothing.
What's he mean, small place?
Hell--
MR. SIMPSON: Hey
there, Reverend Polk.
You tying the knot?
Knot?
Going to get married,
Odd and our manicurist.
Today.
That's funny.
Nobody asked me.
WOMAN: All I know is,
at the beauty parlor,
Odd, Ms. Weldon,
Ms. Weldon and Odd.
MAN: Oh, ridiculous.
And who cares?
WOMAN: They're getting married.
And they're talking about
some small, cheap place
just outside of town.
Where?
And who would ever
marry them anyway?
MAN: Honey, give me a break.
Go to sleep.
WOMAN: Goodnight, dear.
[music playing]
[creaking]
[suspenseful music]
[cats meowing]
[suspenseful music]
A small place, cheap,
just outside of town.
It's not legal yet!
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
[music playing]
[door closes]
[music playing]
[eerie music]
[elevator dings]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well, right here.
All of this is my
magician's toyshop.
I'm Ray Bradbury.
And this is--
[theme music]
[peaceful music]
[brakes groan]
[tires squeal]
Damn fool!
You want to get
yourself killed?!
[engine revs]
[ominous music]
There you go, ma'am.
MAN: Hey.
WOMAN: Hi, how are you?
MAN: Taxi?
Over here, yeah.
There he goes again.
Crazy as the weasel
down a chimney.
You going to finish my shave?
The Sheriff ought to
throw him in the jail.
Now, now, Gilpatrick.
[bell rings]
Mr. Simpson?
That's me.
I'm Ms. Weldon,
from-- from Drummond.
Oh, fine.
Good to see you, Ms. Weldon.
New manicurist.
Well, you got to
be an improvement
on that Dolly Pride.
Damn woman didn't have a
civil tongue in her head.
[laughs]
- Well, I hope I have that.
Um, I just came and
thought I'd drop by.
Fine.
Got yourself a place
over Webster's, I hear.
You get settled in
there, Ms. Weldon.
See you right after 12:00, noon.
Yes, of course.
Goodbye.
She looks a queer
beetle, a maiden lady.
Old mother just died.
Don't suppose
there was a father.
MAN: Come on out, Martin.
Come on, now.
You're not dead.
But you're gonna be
if you stay there.
Get up.
- Sheriff?
Sure looks bleached out.
White as new snow.
- Yeah, new snow.
Hell, he's taking up
valuable parking space.
This being Friday,
lots of people
will be needing this spot.
Odd?
Oh, hmm.
Yeah, gives us a
hand here, boys.
You take the head and
take the feet there.
MAN: Come on, Odd.
SHERIFF: Just bring
him over here.
MAN: Up you go.
Just lie down there till
he gets tired of layin'.
Hmm.
Now, vamoose, you kids.
[bell rings]
MAN (ON RADIO): In global news,
the Country Farm Association
held its semi-annual convention
over the weekend as expected.
Odd Martin.
He's done that a
million times before.
Likes the publicity.
[peaceful music]
[can clatters]
[distant train whistle]
[music playing]
WOMAN: Odd Martin?
I've got a job for you.
And he says, madam, we've
already established that.
Now we're haggling
about the price.
[laughter]
Are these all right for you?
Eh-- guess so, yeah.
[gasps]
Please, excuse me?
Is that a kitten in there?
[meows]
May I see it, please?
[meows]
Oh.
[meows]
Were you going to drown her?
Oh, please don't do that.
I'll keep her.
I'd like to keep her.
Drowning's a terrible thing.
I know.
I been drowned.
[peaceful music]
[snipping]
Yep, he's certainly
one of the town sights.
Is that what he does,
clean the streets?
Oh, that and other
things, you know,
folks don't like to
do for themselves.
Didn't always though.
He was a farmer.
About 20 years back,
big flood washed away
his farm and all his stock.
He was missing for awhile.
But he turned up, stark crazy.
Said he walked out of the flood
waters after being drowned.
Claimed he was a dead man.
Must've thought we was
wet behind the ears, huh?
[peaceful music]
[meows]
[laughs]
Not leaving him lying
here all the time.
Up.
OK.
Bring him over here.
He doesn't get any--
any lighter, does it?
Huh?
Sure doesn't.
SHERIFF: Ma'am.
MISS WELDON: Mr. Martin?
Mr. Martin, would
you wake up please?
It's an awful hot
day, Mr. Martin.
I wish you'd try some of this.
It's cologne.
It'll help keep you cool.
MR. SIMPSON: Now, what
can you make of that?
Hmm, takes one to
know one, I guess.
Told you she was simple.
MR. SIMPSON: Have a good
lunch break, Ms. Weldon?
Yes, thank you, Mr. Simpson.
[meows]
MR. SIMPSON: That
cat of yours sure
is fascinated by Odd Martin.
Think she knows what
he had in mind for her?
[laughs]
You know, with the
night's drawing in,
I figure the best thing
could happen to Odd
Martin would be to get married.
[laughter]
What woman'd marry Odd?
Sometimes I believe he is dead.
Flies do hang around him.
[wince]
Gal-darn, watch what
you're doing, woman!
MR. SIMPSON: She knows what
she's doing, Gilpatrick.
Hold still while I
almost cut your throat.
- What?
- Ha ha!
Just joking!
[laughter]
Now, Miss Weldon, she
knows how to handle
Odd Martin in hot weather.
Didn't she get him
a bottle of cologne
and helped improve
his perspiration?
[laughter]
MAN: Funny how we
joke about Odd.
Sometimes I wonder if we
ain't really scared of him.
Come on, boys.
I mean, we don't let ourselves
believe he's really dead.
So we just make him
some kind of joke.
We just let him lay there.
He don't cause no trouble.
He's just there.
And I noticed old
saw-bones, Doc Hudson,
didn't really listen to Odd's
heart with his stethoscope.
Scared of what he'd find.
[bell rings]
Oh, sure is hot.
You'll just help
yourself, Ralph.
MR. GILPATRICK: There they go.
[sighs]
How do you figure that?
Kind of strange, huh?
[store customers chatting]
WOMAN: Yeah, that's what I want.
Come on.
Come on, honey.
I've been watching
you for a long time.
Want to know why?
You're dead.
You're really dead.
And I'm the only one
who really knows.
I believe, you, Odd.
I tried dying once.
I laid on the floor for an hour.
Then I quit.
Because I had to
go to the bathroom.
It's not easy, being dead.
Right?
No, it isn't.
Sometimes I see you walk by
my house, not going anyplace.
No place to go.
I tried thinking some
place to go, hard to think.
Sometimes I almost
know where to go.
Then I forget.
Once I thought, go to a doctor.
Have them declared me,
once and for all, dead.
But somehow, I never got there.
If you want, I'll take you.
No, I'm tired, but I'll wait.
I'm curious to see
what happens next.
But I know I'm dead.
Late nights, I lay
listening in my room.
But no heartbeat in my ears, nor
in my chest, nor in my wrists.
Nothing in me but dark night.
Maybe I'm still walking
because I died young.
Only 28, and not married.
Always wanted to
marry, never did.
[dark music]
But some whiles there's
something, makes me stir.
I think it's the wind.
It brings all these great
perfumes, or the sight
of a lady's
just-now-curled hair,
or the sight of her tiny
shoes on the sidewalk.
And I look up and there
she is, Ms. Weldon,
putting down her hand
and lifting me like I
was no heavy weight at all.
Shucks.
I can't help you with that.
Think of something else.
So long.
So long.
MAN: Thanks, ma'am.
Somebody say something?
Someone here?
Only me, Odd.
Walk me home.
MAN (WHISPERS): Isn't
that Odd Martin?
WOMAN (WHISPERS):
And with a woman.
[peaceful music]
[gasps]
Oh, how nice.
Odd?
Ms. Weldon?
What's your name?
Your first name?
John.
Well, that's a nice name.
Nicer than Odd.
Ms. Weldon?
Yes, John?
I've been saving my money.
Got quite a sum.
Don't spend it for anything.
I've got maybe about $5,000.
Sometimes I count it and get
tired and can't count more.
So why do you like
me, Ms. Weldon?
Well, because you're
quiet, not loud and mean,
like the men at the barbershop.
I've had to fight, even for
a scrap of respect there.
But still, they look
right through me.
I'm like a window with no glass.
Not even a reflection.
I'm lonely, John.
And talking to you is, well--
now, I wish we could do
something about the way
people talk about you.
John, if only you'd stop
saying that you're not alive.
So you don't
believe me either.
You're half alive for
the care of a good woman,
for loving, for
living decent, John.
That's what you mean
by dead, nothing more.
Is that what I mean?
Well, what else could it be?
[ominous music]
[children howling]
[peaceful music]
GIRL: Come on!
BOY: No, you said you would go.
GIRL: Yes, it's a great idea!
What's your deal?
Would you do it?
- Go on.
- Go on.
Yeah.
Mister?
Sir?
We were wondering if you
might want to-- would--
Come to a Halloween party.
Why?
Because-- because
it's Halloween.
Why?
BOY: We-- we want you.
GIRL: We want you
to come scare us.
Yeah.
I got no costume.
Well, that's OK.
Come as you are.
Come scare us.
Yeah.
Yeah, come to our party.
We live on South
St. James street.
Yeah.
[kids laughing]
Scare?
Come as you are?
[music playing]
[knocks on door]
ODD MARTIN: Trick or treat.
Why, John.
Hello.
Treat, I guess.
Ms. Weldon, do I scare you?
Why heavens, no.
In that case,
would you marry me?
You're proposing
to me, Mr. Martin?
What does that mean?
It means I love you.
[whistling]
What say?
[humming "here comes the bride"]
No.
No.
MEN: No.
Yep.
[clock ticking]
All so darn sudden.
Ah, it's been coming on.
Where are you going to live?
Bought a place
yesterday, real cheap.
Didn't know we had
cheap homes in town.
Just outside.
Real small.
[WHISTLES "HERE COMES THE
BRIDE"]
What was that about
a small home, cheap?
I'm the only real
estate agent in town.
I sold him nothing.
What's he mean, small place?
Hell--
MR. SIMPSON: Hey
there, Reverend Polk.
You tying the knot?
Knot?
Going to get married,
Odd and our manicurist.
Today.
That's funny.
Nobody asked me.
WOMAN: All I know is,
at the beauty parlor,
Odd, Ms. Weldon,
Ms. Weldon and Odd.
MAN: Oh, ridiculous.
And who cares?
WOMAN: They're getting married.
And they're talking about
some small, cheap place
just outside of town.
Where?
And who would ever
marry them anyway?
MAN: Honey, give me a break.
Go to sleep.
WOMAN: Goodnight, dear.
[music playing]
[creaking]
[suspenseful music]
[cats meowing]
[suspenseful music]
A small place, cheap,
just outside of town.
It's not legal yet!
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
[music playing]
[door closes]
[music playing]