The Ray Bradbury Theater (1985–1992): Season 6, Episode 5 - By the Numbers - full transcript
The manager of a hotel pool drills his young son with military precision, leading to tragedy.
[theme song]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well right here.
All this is mine.
Magician's toy shop.
I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is--
Company, a-ten-hut!
Company, forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes right!
Eyes left!
About face!
Halt!
[train horn]
TRAIN WAITER: Ah,
thank you, sir.
I see I'd like to ask,
am I a hard drinker?
Two martinis, eh?
No, no.
Yes, yes.
I always order two, you
never know who might show up.
There-- two martinis saves time.
Yes.
Good luck.
It's like you're
trying to give that away.
Why would you give a drink
to a stranger just like that?
I don't think
we are strangers.
We've met before?
A long time ago.
Where?
When?
Let me think--
Los Angeles.
One summer about 10 years ago.
A hotel in Malibu.
Outdoors.
Noon.
Hot, hot day.
Swimming pool.
Deserted, waiting-- you weren't
there at first, just the pool.
The hot sun.
WRITER: What are we doing here?
Why did you bring
me here to swim?
SID: Shh.
Patience.
You're a writer, yes?
WRITER: So?
SID: Always looking for ideas.
- Damn right.
- Want to see?
Hear?
Feel?
Almost touch a murder
before it's committed?
No!
Yes.
Well, then.
Pleased to begin.
Company, attention!
Company, forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes right!
Eyes left!
About face!
Forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes front!
Head up!
Chin in!
Chest out, stomach sucked in!
Shoulders back.
Back!
My god, how long has
this been going on?
Years, maybe.
Looks that way.
FATHER: Company,
by the numbers--
one, two--
Three, four!
One, two--
Three, four!
Ten-hut!
Tuck that chin in.
Square those toes.
Hup, hup!
Towel check.
By the numbers, hup!
Table check.
Hup!
Lounge check, hup!
Already?
- Sir!
Time!
Ready?
Sir!
Release locks, hup!
Left face, hup!
Forward, march!
Company, halt!
Is he going to leave the
kid just waiting there?
Yes.
That's inhuman.
He's not your son.
That can't be his father.
I'd like to beat that--
Look at the boy's face.
Are we going to have
to sit here all afternoon
and watch this dumb
game of Simon Says?
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Can keep your voices down?
Just not to confuse my son--
I'll say any
damn thing I want.
No, sir, you will not.
This is my pool, my turf.
I've an arrangement
with the hotel
that their territory
stops at the gate.
I run a clean, tight shop
with total authority.
Any dissonance, out-- bodily.
I possess a black belt in
Judo, boxing, and rifle
marksmanship certificates.
Shake my hand and
I'll break your wrist.
Sneeze and I'll crack your nose.
One word and your dental
surgeon will need two years
just to reshape your smile.
Company, a-ten-hut!
40 laps!
Hup!
Hup!
Perfection through
discipline, gentlemen.
Someday that boy
will murder that SOB.
WRITER: As a Hemingway
character once said,
wouldn't it be nice to think so?
Should I read you this?
Read on.
Father and son.
Son and father.
What will happen to
them in the years ahead?
Will the son grow
up to run away?
To know a ruined
life, always marching
to some damned,
arrogant drummer,
to some remembered shout
of hup-to and march?
Never relaxed for a kid.
Poor old man never at ease.
Or will the boy as man raise
his own sons and yell at them?
On hot noons, by far
pools, and endless years?
Or he will never marry
and so have no sons?
Or will he beat up his
father someday one day?
Or will he stick a pistol in his
own mouth and kill his father
the only way he knows how?
Or will he turn the
pistol the other way
and really kill the mean father?
Terrible dad.
You really live what
you write, don't you?
You're damn right.
Close, but no cigar.
A-ten-hut!
Sir!
Sergeant Craft's sends!
Sergeant?
I thought he was your dad.
Sergeant Craft
says, closing time!
Who says?
- Sergeant Craft!
- Says what?
Pool's closed!
Why?
Closing time!
You heard what the boy said.
Pool's closed!
Guess what, Sid?
What?
Closing time.
Good luck, kid.
Hup!
Stand up!
Stand there, don't move.
It's an order.
You'll stand there for an hour--
an hour.
59 minutes and 50 seconds.
Because of these civilians, I've
not done my end-of-day duties.
You'll consider this
watch me, soldier.
Waterproof.
[slap]
Demerits!
A-ten-hut!
WRITER (VOICEOVER):
The hotel pool.
The drill sergeant.
His son.
That was you.
Your father.
Whatever happened to him?
You would never believe it.
[train horn]
Why would you want to
know about my father?
I was there, I saw.
Yes.
Hey, you--
Ah, yes?
I wanted to help then.
I know.
I want to listen now.
Will you tell me?
Why?
Cause you think
it might help now?
(WHISPERING) Forward march!
Hup!
Hup!
Company, halt!
Company, eyes right!
Eyes left!
One day, must have been a
year after you with there,
Father had me standing in
the hot sun all morning,
hour after hour, no one
around before the pool.
Hour after hour.
He was in such a
rage that morning.
Such a rage.
Demerits.
Dammit, demerits!
Right!
Line up!
Head up!
Stand there.
Don't breathe, don't
move, don't move
a muscle until I tell you to.
Not a hair, you understand me?
You'll stand there for an hour!
That's an order!
An hour!
- Sir!
Don't move-- freeze!
Sir!
Damn right, sir!
Ahh!
Who put the damn towel there?
Help me, I can't swim!
Help me!
Help me, somebody please!
BOY (VOICEOVER): Say,
at ease, at ease!
FATHER (VOICEOVER):
Company, a-ten-hut!
Dammit, demerits!
Help me!
Help me, somebody please!
Don't move a muscle
until I tell you to.
Not a hair!
For an hour!
That's an order!
An hour!
BOY (VOICEOVER): Give new
commands, new commands!
Command me to dive!
To dive!
FATHER (VOICEOVER):
Company, a-ten-hut!
Don't move a muscle
until I tell you to.
Not a hair, you understand me?
You'll stand there for an hour!
Don't move-- freeze!
Now don't move a muscle--
freeze!
Not a hair-- freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
At ease.
Company dismissed.
Company dismissed.
He couldn't swim.
Isn't that a laugh?
Isn't that a joke?
He never told me.
I wasn't allowed to ask.
Dad, how come you
never get in the pool?
Not once in all these years
since I was real small.
How come, Dad?
Why not?
And you let him drown?
No.
No, he killed himself,
don't you see?
I couldn't be sure
he wasn't faking.
He tricked me before and he
was always trying to catch
me breaking discipline.
Hide around the
corner or pretend
to go to the men's room,
jump back, find me at ease--
10 demerits, 20 demerits!
And after you left, he
dropped his watch in the pool
and hit me when I rescued it.
So I was standing there
again by the pool that day,
I thought he was luring me on,
tricking me into disobeying.
So I had to wait.
I couldn't take a chance.
I had to be sure.
So in a way, he killed
himself, didn't he?
You know what?
I didn't cry then, and
I haven't cried since.
Once in all these
years, no tears.
Because it's so funny,
don't you think?
So funny.
[laughs] A million laughs, that
was my dad, don't you agree?
[laughs]
[theme song]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well right here.
All this is mine.
Magician's toy shop.
I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is--
Company, a-ten-hut!
Company, forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes right!
Eyes left!
About face!
Halt!
[train horn]
TRAIN WAITER: Ah,
thank you, sir.
I see I'd like to ask,
am I a hard drinker?
Two martinis, eh?
No, no.
Yes, yes.
I always order two, you
never know who might show up.
There-- two martinis saves time.
Yes.
Good luck.
It's like you're
trying to give that away.
Why would you give a drink
to a stranger just like that?
I don't think
we are strangers.
We've met before?
A long time ago.
Where?
When?
Let me think--
Los Angeles.
One summer about 10 years ago.
A hotel in Malibu.
Outdoors.
Noon.
Hot, hot day.
Swimming pool.
Deserted, waiting-- you weren't
there at first, just the pool.
The hot sun.
WRITER: What are we doing here?
Why did you bring
me here to swim?
SID: Shh.
Patience.
You're a writer, yes?
WRITER: So?
SID: Always looking for ideas.
- Damn right.
- Want to see?
Hear?
Feel?
Almost touch a murder
before it's committed?
No!
Yes.
Well, then.
Pleased to begin.
Company, attention!
Company, forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes right!
Eyes left!
About face!
Forward march!
Company, halt!
Eyes front!
Head up!
Chin in!
Chest out, stomach sucked in!
Shoulders back.
Back!
My god, how long has
this been going on?
Years, maybe.
Looks that way.
FATHER: Company,
by the numbers--
one, two--
Three, four!
One, two--
Three, four!
Ten-hut!
Tuck that chin in.
Square those toes.
Hup, hup!
Towel check.
By the numbers, hup!
Table check.
Hup!
Lounge check, hup!
Already?
- Sir!
Time!
Ready?
Sir!
Release locks, hup!
Left face, hup!
Forward, march!
Company, halt!
Is he going to leave the
kid just waiting there?
Yes.
That's inhuman.
He's not your son.
That can't be his father.
I'd like to beat that--
Look at the boy's face.
Are we going to have
to sit here all afternoon
and watch this dumb
game of Simon Says?
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Can keep your voices down?
Just not to confuse my son--
I'll say any
damn thing I want.
No, sir, you will not.
This is my pool, my turf.
I've an arrangement
with the hotel
that their territory
stops at the gate.
I run a clean, tight shop
with total authority.
Any dissonance, out-- bodily.
I possess a black belt in
Judo, boxing, and rifle
marksmanship certificates.
Shake my hand and
I'll break your wrist.
Sneeze and I'll crack your nose.
One word and your dental
surgeon will need two years
just to reshape your smile.
Company, a-ten-hut!
40 laps!
Hup!
Hup!
Perfection through
discipline, gentlemen.
Someday that boy
will murder that SOB.
WRITER: As a Hemingway
character once said,
wouldn't it be nice to think so?
Should I read you this?
Read on.
Father and son.
Son and father.
What will happen to
them in the years ahead?
Will the son grow
up to run away?
To know a ruined
life, always marching
to some damned,
arrogant drummer,
to some remembered shout
of hup-to and march?
Never relaxed for a kid.
Poor old man never at ease.
Or will the boy as man raise
his own sons and yell at them?
On hot noons, by far
pools, and endless years?
Or he will never marry
and so have no sons?
Or will he beat up his
father someday one day?
Or will he stick a pistol in his
own mouth and kill his father
the only way he knows how?
Or will he turn the
pistol the other way
and really kill the mean father?
Terrible dad.
You really live what
you write, don't you?
You're damn right.
Close, but no cigar.
A-ten-hut!
Sir!
Sergeant Craft's sends!
Sergeant?
I thought he was your dad.
Sergeant Craft
says, closing time!
Who says?
- Sergeant Craft!
- Says what?
Pool's closed!
Why?
Closing time!
You heard what the boy said.
Pool's closed!
Guess what, Sid?
What?
Closing time.
Good luck, kid.
Hup!
Stand up!
Stand there, don't move.
It's an order.
You'll stand there for an hour--
an hour.
59 minutes and 50 seconds.
Because of these civilians, I've
not done my end-of-day duties.
You'll consider this
watch me, soldier.
Waterproof.
[slap]
Demerits!
A-ten-hut!
WRITER (VOICEOVER):
The hotel pool.
The drill sergeant.
His son.
That was you.
Your father.
Whatever happened to him?
You would never believe it.
[train horn]
Why would you want to
know about my father?
I was there, I saw.
Yes.
Hey, you--
Ah, yes?
I wanted to help then.
I know.
I want to listen now.
Will you tell me?
Why?
Cause you think
it might help now?
(WHISPERING) Forward march!
Hup!
Hup!
Company, halt!
Company, eyes right!
Eyes left!
One day, must have been a
year after you with there,
Father had me standing in
the hot sun all morning,
hour after hour, no one
around before the pool.
Hour after hour.
He was in such a
rage that morning.
Such a rage.
Demerits.
Dammit, demerits!
Right!
Line up!
Head up!
Stand there.
Don't breathe, don't
move, don't move
a muscle until I tell you to.
Not a hair, you understand me?
You'll stand there for an hour!
That's an order!
An hour!
- Sir!
Don't move-- freeze!
Sir!
Damn right, sir!
Ahh!
Who put the damn towel there?
Help me, I can't swim!
Help me!
Help me, somebody please!
BOY (VOICEOVER): Say,
at ease, at ease!
FATHER (VOICEOVER):
Company, a-ten-hut!
Dammit, demerits!
Help me!
Help me, somebody please!
Don't move a muscle
until I tell you to.
Not a hair!
For an hour!
That's an order!
An hour!
BOY (VOICEOVER): Give new
commands, new commands!
Command me to dive!
To dive!
FATHER (VOICEOVER):
Company, a-ten-hut!
Don't move a muscle
until I tell you to.
Not a hair, you understand me?
You'll stand there for an hour!
Don't move-- freeze!
Now don't move a muscle--
freeze!
Not a hair-- freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
Freeze!
At ease.
Company dismissed.
Company dismissed.
He couldn't swim.
Isn't that a laugh?
Isn't that a joke?
He never told me.
I wasn't allowed to ask.
Dad, how come you
never get in the pool?
Not once in all these years
since I was real small.
How come, Dad?
Why not?
And you let him drown?
No.
No, he killed himself,
don't you see?
I couldn't be sure
he wasn't faking.
He tricked me before and he
was always trying to catch
me breaking discipline.
Hide around the
corner or pretend
to go to the men's room,
jump back, find me at ease--
10 demerits, 20 demerits!
And after you left, he
dropped his watch in the pool
and hit me when I rescued it.
So I was standing there
again by the pool that day,
I thought he was luring me on,
tricking me into disobeying.
So I had to wait.
I couldn't take a chance.
I had to be sure.
So in a way, he killed
himself, didn't he?
You know what?
I didn't cry then, and
I haven't cried since.
Once in all these
years, no tears.
Because it's so funny,
don't you think?
So funny.
[laughs] A million laughs, that
was my dad, don't you agree?
[laughs]
[theme song]