The Ray Bradbury Theater (1985–1992): Season 5, Episode 3 - The Jar - full transcript
Cuckolded farmer Charlie purchases a weird specimen in a jar from a carnival sideshow, hoping to gain some respect in the town. When his faithless wife threatens to reveal that the creature is a fake, Charlie is driven to an act of desperation.
[theme music]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Right here, all of this
is my magician's toy shop.
I'm Ray Bradbury and this is--
[music playing]
[meow]
[suspenseful music]
[inaudible] I ain't decent.
You ain't never decent, Thedy.
[laughter]
VENDOR 1: Popcorn, popcorn,
get your hot buttered popcorn
right here, folks.
Popcorn.
[chatter]
[laughter]
VENDOR 2: Ice cream,
ice cream, you scream,
we all scream for ice cream.
Come on enjoy two
for one dollar.
Ice cream.
VENDOR 3: Step
right up over here
for an authentic [inaudible]
straight from Belgium.
Come get 'em, folks.
I have--
Sure is something, eh?
Yeah.
Everybody likes that--
in a peculiar kind
of way, I mean.
You don't consider selling it?
Nah, customers eat it up.
Oh.
But if a guy had money, maybe.
How much?
Maybe $30-- $50.
Say a guy had $40.
[chuckling] 40
bucks, how'd you guess?
It told me.
Well, I'll be.
Hey-ya, you couldn't buy one
of them things in a store,
could ya?
Nah.
Folks would sure look
up to me back home, I bet.
And you won the bet.
[chatter]
Hey, thanks.
No, no, don't thank me.
I was tired of seeing that
damn thing around anyway.
Lately, I've been
thinking things about it--
funny things-- but hell,
I'm a big mouthed jerk.
So long partner.
Heh, so long.
TOM: Hello, bluebird.
[kissing]
Nah, not here, Tom.
Now you be a good boy.
Come on, Thedy.
I want to purty myself up.
You don't need to purty up.
What is your hurry?
Now you go away.
You come back later on.
[guitar music playing]
Yes, sir.
Hi, clown Hi, gramps.
Little Charlie.
Hello Charlie.
Howdy Charlie.
Hey, I got something
here, something
you might want to see.
You ain't got nothing
we want to see, Charlie.
It's-- it's
something in a jar.
It looks kind of like
a brain, or kind of
like a jellyfish, kind of like--
well, come see yourself.
What the hell is that?
[laughing]
Hey, you want to see some
more, drop around my house.
It'll be there.
Let me take another
look at that thing.
Hey, is it-- is it an octopus?
[laughing] Come on
around, y'all welcome.
What will your wife say?
[light laughter]
He hates company.
Depends.
[laughter]
So what you got there?
Well?
What is it?
Well, what's it look
like to you, Thedy?
Look like you, Charlie.
[laughing]
I worked the bottom land
of the butt bone every year.
She grabs the money and
runs off down home, visiting
her folks or something--
I don't know-- for
weeks at a stretch.
I can't keep a hold on her.
Her and the men from the
store, they make fun of me.
[car horn]
You ain't staying in?
You got company, Charlie.
[honking]
[guitar music playing]
Charlie?
Yeah.
Ah, we, ah--
just want to come up and
take another look at that--
That, uh, stuff you
got in that there jar.
There she was
in this side show.
Man didn't want to sell, but
[chuckling] there she is.
I wonder what it is.
[clearing throat]
I wonder if it is a she, or
a he, or a plain old it in that
there swamp water.
Just as peaceful and
pale as an oyster.
The swamp?
Dreamin', pale dead
eyes staring out.
Dead?
What do you
figure, Juke Marmer?
Huh, when I was a
runny-nosed kid, had a cat,
all the time made kittens.
Everyone in walking distance
had our cats by gift.
When this one litter
busted out, Ma
fills this big two gallon
glass jar and says,
Juke, drown them kittens.
Kittens mewed around,
blind, helpless.
I said, not me, Ma.
You do it.
Ma said I was the
only one handy.
I picked up one kitten.
It was warm.
Made a mewing sound.
I felt like running away.
I dropped the
kitten in the water.
He opened his mouth,
trying for air.
A little white fang showed,
pink tongue, bubbles.
When it was all over,
kitten floated, looking out.
Not hating me for what I
done, not liking me neither.
[sigh]
It kind of makes your
stomach jump, because you
can't believe what you see.
TOM: What's the
story for next week?
[laughing] Oh, I
thought Tennessee?
Heh.
Why you still
living there, Thedy?
'Cause I need my freedom, Tom.
Boys in town said they
was going to visit him.
Something he brought
from the carny.
Yeah.
Why-- why for all we can tell,
this might be someone we know.
Foley.
Foley?
Out in the swamp there,
amid bamboos stumps,
all sorts of things
crawl and spawn.
It's a soup brewed by the Lord.
Something human slobbered out of
that soup 10 million years ago.
10 million years?
Perfect, human--
man that has no worry,
eyes that see no evil, mouth
that speaks no slander.
My baby, my baby,
my Foley, is that you?
I lost my little boy,
Foley, in the swamp.
You don't suppose--
It moved.
[scream]
No No, no, no--
it's just your eyes playing
tricks on you again.
No-- no-- honest
to God, I saw it
shift slow like a dead kitten.
Hush up now.
It's been dead a long,
long time, maybe since
before you was born.
[screaming] Oh, he made a sign.
That's my Foley.
That's my baby you got there.
Now Mrs. Treadon, there now.
Stop shaking.
That ain't no more
your baby than mine.
There, there.
Well, I guess now we'll
never know what it is.
It's like magic
tricks magicians do.
Once you know the
trick, ain't no more
fun than rabbit innards.
It stands to reason.
Well, damn it to hell.
That's nothing right now.
[laughing] There's
nothing in that jar
but a bunch of old jelly
fish from Sea Cove.
Rotten, stinking, bits of whelp.
[laughing]
Ah, could be you're
just jealous, Tom Carmody.
Me, jealous?
Uh-huh.
Where are you
coming from Charlie?
[suspenseful music]
Come on, Bluebird.
[laughter]
Goodnight, Charlie.
Yeah, goodnight.
Goodnight, Charlie.
[interposing voices]
Good to see y'all.
MAN: Bye, Charlie.
My-- my-- my
door's always open.
[engine starting]
GRAMPS: Night.
[suspenseful music]
[meow]
(SEDUCTIVELY) Charlie--
Charlie--
I'm awake.
What?
I'll bet you don't
know where I've been.
Bet you don't know
where I've been.
I've been to the carnival
over in Cape City.
Tom Carmody drove me.
Carnival was just
closing up, but we talked
to the carny boss, Charlie.
We did, we did, we sure did.
We found out what it is
in your jar, Charlie.
I-- I-- I--
I don't want to hear.
Oh, but you got
to hear, Charlie.
It's so funny.
It's a joke.
Get away.
Uh-huh-huh, no sir,
Charlie, not until I tell.
Get!
We talked to that carny boss,
and he liked to die laughing.
Well, he said that
he sold that jar
and what was in it to
some hick for 40 bucks.
And it ain't worth more
than 75 cents at most.
[laughing]
It's junk, Charlie.
Dead rat bones.
Un-huh, un-huh.
Yep, paper mache,
silk, cotton,
rubber bands, hogs tripes--
Uh.
--mildewed pigs' eyes.
Nuh-huh.
My God, it's got a
metal frame inside.
That's all it is, Charlie,
hogs' tripes and pig brains.
[laughing]
I don't want to hear.
I don't want to hear.
I don't want to!
Oh, wait till everybody
finds out how fake it is.
Ah!
Won't they laugh?
Won't they slap their knees?
[laughing]
You ain't going to tell.
You don't want me to lie.
Dirty-- dirty, jealous, mean--
everything I do.
Oh, well, then I
won't tell nobody.
You spoiled my fun.
That's all that counts.
I know.
You and that Tom Carmody.
He's been laughing
at me for years.
Well, you go ahead and you
tell all them other folks.
Have your fun.
[suspenseful music]
You didn't go to
the carnival, Thedy.
I did.
You lying.
No, I ain't.
This-- this jar has
to have something in it
besides the junk you said.
Too many people believe
there's something here, Thedy.
That changed that.
Carny boss-- if you
talked with him-- he lied.
Come here, Thedy.
Why?
What you want?
Come here.
Now Charlie, you
keep away from me.
I just want to
show you something.
Here, kitty.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
[laughing] Here, kitty.
Charlie?
Hm.
Your wife gone off
to visit her folks?
Yeah, she run for Tennessee.
Be back in a couple
of weeks, I think.
Heh-heh.
You know Thedy.
Well, I never noticed.
It's got brown eyes.
MAN: It always had brown eyes.
Oh no, they was blue
last time we was here.
And another thing,
it's got brown hair.
Didn't have brown hair before.
MAN: Yes, it did.
GRAMPS: Oh no, it didn't.
My baby, my little baby.
MAN: Human--
Jelly fish--
Kitten--
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here kitten.
Everything and
anything, the night,
the swamp, dead with
pale things, dead things
from the sea.
GRAMPS: I wonder if it really is
a she, or a he, or a plain old
it.
I reckon we'll never know.
Yeah, we'll never know.
[theme music]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Right here, all of this
is my magician's toy shop.
I'm Ray Bradbury and this is--
[music playing]
[meow]
[suspenseful music]
[inaudible] I ain't decent.
You ain't never decent, Thedy.
[laughter]
VENDOR 1: Popcorn, popcorn,
get your hot buttered popcorn
right here, folks.
Popcorn.
[chatter]
[laughter]
VENDOR 2: Ice cream,
ice cream, you scream,
we all scream for ice cream.
Come on enjoy two
for one dollar.
Ice cream.
VENDOR 3: Step
right up over here
for an authentic [inaudible]
straight from Belgium.
Come get 'em, folks.
I have--
Sure is something, eh?
Yeah.
Everybody likes that--
in a peculiar kind
of way, I mean.
You don't consider selling it?
Nah, customers eat it up.
Oh.
But if a guy had money, maybe.
How much?
Maybe $30-- $50.
Say a guy had $40.
[chuckling] 40
bucks, how'd you guess?
It told me.
Well, I'll be.
Hey-ya, you couldn't buy one
of them things in a store,
could ya?
Nah.
Folks would sure look
up to me back home, I bet.
And you won the bet.
[chatter]
Hey, thanks.
No, no, don't thank me.
I was tired of seeing that
damn thing around anyway.
Lately, I've been
thinking things about it--
funny things-- but hell,
I'm a big mouthed jerk.
So long partner.
Heh, so long.
TOM: Hello, bluebird.
[kissing]
Nah, not here, Tom.
Now you be a good boy.
Come on, Thedy.
I want to purty myself up.
You don't need to purty up.
What is your hurry?
Now you go away.
You come back later on.
[guitar music playing]
Yes, sir.
Hi, clown Hi, gramps.
Little Charlie.
Hello Charlie.
Howdy Charlie.
Hey, I got something
here, something
you might want to see.
You ain't got nothing
we want to see, Charlie.
It's-- it's
something in a jar.
It looks kind of like
a brain, or kind of
like a jellyfish, kind of like--
well, come see yourself.
What the hell is that?
[laughing]
Hey, you want to see some
more, drop around my house.
It'll be there.
Let me take another
look at that thing.
Hey, is it-- is it an octopus?
[laughing] Come on
around, y'all welcome.
What will your wife say?
[light laughter]
He hates company.
Depends.
[laughter]
So what you got there?
Well?
What is it?
Well, what's it look
like to you, Thedy?
Look like you, Charlie.
[laughing]
I worked the bottom land
of the butt bone every year.
She grabs the money and
runs off down home, visiting
her folks or something--
I don't know-- for
weeks at a stretch.
I can't keep a hold on her.
Her and the men from the
store, they make fun of me.
[car horn]
You ain't staying in?
You got company, Charlie.
[honking]
[guitar music playing]
Charlie?
Yeah.
Ah, we, ah--
just want to come up and
take another look at that--
That, uh, stuff you
got in that there jar.
There she was
in this side show.
Man didn't want to sell, but
[chuckling] there she is.
I wonder what it is.
[clearing throat]
I wonder if it is a she, or
a he, or a plain old it in that
there swamp water.
Just as peaceful and
pale as an oyster.
The swamp?
Dreamin', pale dead
eyes staring out.
Dead?
What do you
figure, Juke Marmer?
Huh, when I was a
runny-nosed kid, had a cat,
all the time made kittens.
Everyone in walking distance
had our cats by gift.
When this one litter
busted out, Ma
fills this big two gallon
glass jar and says,
Juke, drown them kittens.
Kittens mewed around,
blind, helpless.
I said, not me, Ma.
You do it.
Ma said I was the
only one handy.
I picked up one kitten.
It was warm.
Made a mewing sound.
I felt like running away.
I dropped the
kitten in the water.
He opened his mouth,
trying for air.
A little white fang showed,
pink tongue, bubbles.
When it was all over,
kitten floated, looking out.
Not hating me for what I
done, not liking me neither.
[sigh]
It kind of makes your
stomach jump, because you
can't believe what you see.
TOM: What's the
story for next week?
[laughing] Oh, I
thought Tennessee?
Heh.
Why you still
living there, Thedy?
'Cause I need my freedom, Tom.
Boys in town said they
was going to visit him.
Something he brought
from the carny.
Yeah.
Why-- why for all we can tell,
this might be someone we know.
Foley.
Foley?
Out in the swamp there,
amid bamboos stumps,
all sorts of things
crawl and spawn.
It's a soup brewed by the Lord.
Something human slobbered out of
that soup 10 million years ago.
10 million years?
Perfect, human--
man that has no worry,
eyes that see no evil, mouth
that speaks no slander.
My baby, my baby,
my Foley, is that you?
I lost my little boy,
Foley, in the swamp.
You don't suppose--
It moved.
[scream]
No No, no, no--
it's just your eyes playing
tricks on you again.
No-- no-- honest
to God, I saw it
shift slow like a dead kitten.
Hush up now.
It's been dead a long,
long time, maybe since
before you was born.
[screaming] Oh, he made a sign.
That's my Foley.
That's my baby you got there.
Now Mrs. Treadon, there now.
Stop shaking.
That ain't no more
your baby than mine.
There, there.
Well, I guess now we'll
never know what it is.
It's like magic
tricks magicians do.
Once you know the
trick, ain't no more
fun than rabbit innards.
It stands to reason.
Well, damn it to hell.
That's nothing right now.
[laughing] There's
nothing in that jar
but a bunch of old jelly
fish from Sea Cove.
Rotten, stinking, bits of whelp.
[laughing]
Ah, could be you're
just jealous, Tom Carmody.
Me, jealous?
Uh-huh.
Where are you
coming from Charlie?
[suspenseful music]
Come on, Bluebird.
[laughter]
Goodnight, Charlie.
Yeah, goodnight.
Goodnight, Charlie.
[interposing voices]
Good to see y'all.
MAN: Bye, Charlie.
My-- my-- my
door's always open.
[engine starting]
GRAMPS: Night.
[suspenseful music]
[meow]
(SEDUCTIVELY) Charlie--
Charlie--
I'm awake.
What?
I'll bet you don't
know where I've been.
Bet you don't know
where I've been.
I've been to the carnival
over in Cape City.
Tom Carmody drove me.
Carnival was just
closing up, but we talked
to the carny boss, Charlie.
We did, we did, we sure did.
We found out what it is
in your jar, Charlie.
I-- I-- I--
I don't want to hear.
Oh, but you got
to hear, Charlie.
It's so funny.
It's a joke.
Get away.
Uh-huh-huh, no sir,
Charlie, not until I tell.
Get!
We talked to that carny boss,
and he liked to die laughing.
Well, he said that
he sold that jar
and what was in it to
some hick for 40 bucks.
And it ain't worth more
than 75 cents at most.
[laughing]
It's junk, Charlie.
Dead rat bones.
Un-huh, un-huh.
Yep, paper mache,
silk, cotton,
rubber bands, hogs tripes--
Uh.
--mildewed pigs' eyes.
Nuh-huh.
My God, it's got a
metal frame inside.
That's all it is, Charlie,
hogs' tripes and pig brains.
[laughing]
I don't want to hear.
I don't want to hear.
I don't want to!
Oh, wait till everybody
finds out how fake it is.
Ah!
Won't they laugh?
Won't they slap their knees?
[laughing]
You ain't going to tell.
You don't want me to lie.
Dirty-- dirty, jealous, mean--
everything I do.
Oh, well, then I
won't tell nobody.
You spoiled my fun.
That's all that counts.
I know.
You and that Tom Carmody.
He's been laughing
at me for years.
Well, you go ahead and you
tell all them other folks.
Have your fun.
[suspenseful music]
You didn't go to
the carnival, Thedy.
I did.
You lying.
No, I ain't.
This-- this jar has
to have something in it
besides the junk you said.
Too many people believe
there's something here, Thedy.
That changed that.
Carny boss-- if you
talked with him-- he lied.
Come here, Thedy.
Why?
What you want?
Come here.
Now Charlie, you
keep away from me.
I just want to
show you something.
Here, kitty.
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
[laughing] Here, kitty.
Charlie?
Hm.
Your wife gone off
to visit her folks?
Yeah, she run for Tennessee.
Be back in a couple
of weeks, I think.
Heh-heh.
You know Thedy.
Well, I never noticed.
It's got brown eyes.
MAN: It always had brown eyes.
Oh no, they was blue
last time we was here.
And another thing,
it's got brown hair.
Didn't have brown hair before.
MAN: Yes, it did.
GRAMPS: Oh no, it didn't.
My baby, my little baby.
MAN: Human--
Jelly fish--
Kitten--
Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
Here kitten.
Everything and
anything, the night,
the swamp, dead with
pale things, dead things
from the sea.
GRAMPS: I wonder if it really is
a she, or a he, or a plain old
it.
I reckon we'll never know.
Yeah, we'll never know.
[theme music]