The Ray Bradbury Theater (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 11 - There Was an Old Woman - full transcript
A stubborn old woman has spent her entire life defying death; after the Grim Reaper finally pays his call, her ghost tries to reclaim her body from the mortuary.
[music playing]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well, right here.
All this is my
martian landscape.
Somewhere in this room
is an African veldt.
Just beyond perhaps is a small
Illinois town where I grew up.
And I'm surrounded on every
side by my magician's toy shop.
I'll never starve here.
I just look around, find
what I need, and begin.
I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is--
Well then, right now
what shall it be?
Out of all this, what do
I choose to make a story?
I never know where the
next one will take me,
with a trip, exactly one-half
exhilaration, exactly
one-half terror.
[duck quacking]
MATILDA HANKS: I
am Matilda Hanks.
This is my castle.
I have waited amongst my clocks
and pictures for many years.
I'll not give in.
Oh, no.
One day he'll come.
But this is my castle.
I have all my ammunition here.
Oh, he'll come.
But he has no chance.
I'll not give in.
Oh, no.
[gag]
[glass shattering]
[inaudible]
[brakes squealing]
[car doors slamming]
MATILDA HANKS: Who's that
coming into my house?
Now, just hold on there.
What are you doing?
What-- who--
Who are these people?
Are you delivering?
I didn't order anything.
So you're not bringing
something here.
[thud]
Did you hear what I said?
If you want to talk to
me, well, you can talk.
But in the meantime, you don't
mind if I pour myself tea?
There.
I'd have offered you some
if you'd been more polite.
But you come in here
high and mighty,
with never a bye you'll leave.
You think you own the place.
There.
You've made me lose count.
Now, start again.
Tell me the things
you've got to tell me.
I'll pay attention.
But no smut.
Stop staring at me with that
funny look in your eyes.
Good Lord, it gives
me the heebie jeebies.
Now, about that wicker
basket and those four men.
You don't need
them to carry that.
Why, it's light as thistles.
Where have I seen a
wicker like that before?
Oh, yes.
It was when Mrs. Dwyer
passed away next door.
So that's what you're up to.
right.
You just sit there until
my Emily comes home.
She'll take care
of you, young man.
She'll shoo you out
so soon, you'll--
let me tell you about
Emily, my fair, sweet child.
I remember the day
her mother died 20
years ago, leaving Emily to me.
Who ever heard of people
dying for good reason?
That's why I get so angry
with you and your wicker.
Anyway, Tildy, what you
going to do with your life?
Papa?
Why don't you settle
down, marry, raise a family?
MATILDA HANKS: I like laughing
and singing and playing.
I'm not the marrying kind.
But I can't find a man
with my philosophy, Papa.
PAPA: What philosophy is that?
MATILDA HANKS: That
death is ridiculous.
But, Papa, just once I did find
the man with my philosophy.
Oh, my darling.
Just once.
MAN: But what can we do?
MATILDA HANKS: Fight.
Kick it below the belt.
Don't believe in it.
He liked laughing
and the singing,
and I'm starting my own
philosophy here and now.
[inaudible] people only live
a couple of years and then get
shoved like wet seeds in a
hole but nothing sprouts.
What good do they do?
Lie there a million
years, helping no one.
Most of them find
nice decent people
or at least trying to be.
But more than you,
my dearest Papa,
and more than dearest
Mama, I lost my darling.
[glass shattering]
But you weren't listening, Papa.
You just faded away like a
photograph left out the sun.
I couldn't stay
after he was cold.
It would have denied
my philosophy.
I lost my darling.
He stole him.
He took him.
That sneak thief stole him away.
He did.
He did.
He did.
I never got married.
I was afraid of living
with a man 20 or 30 years
and then having him
up and die on me.
It would have shaken
my convictions
like a house of cards.
I shunned the world.
I screamed if people so
much as mentioned death.
How do you know
all those things?
You think you can talk me
into that silly wicker basket,
you're off your trolley.
You lay hands on me, and I'll--
don't simper like a sick dog.
I'm too old to be made love to.
That's all twisted dry
like an old tube of paint
and left behind in the years.
Young man, you are refused
because I am all of a piece
I add up.
I've been fighting
you all my life.
I won't give in now.
This is my castle, my fortress.
All my ammunition is here.
I've been getting ready
for you for years.
You haven't a chance.
Are you just going to
sit there, young man?
Don't you move from that chair.
Don't you come
creeping around me.
I'm just going to close
my eyes for a moment.
There.
There.
You aren't getting up out
of that chair, are you?
Better not.
I'll keep one eye open for you.
Yes indeed, I will.
[inaudible] So deep,
down, under water almost.
[footsteps]
Who's that moving about in
the dark with my eyes closed?
Who's that kissing my cheek?
Emily?
(THINKING) It was my
fault. I was dreaming.
Drifting off, off, off.
[clock ticking]
What did you say?
[clock chimes]
Are you leaving so
soon, young man?
Had to give up, didn't you?
Couldn't convince me.
No, I'm stubborn as a mule.
Never get me out of
this house, so don't
bother coming back to try.
And you can stop looking like
the cat that got the canary.
And get that crazy wicker
basket out of here.
Just a minute.
Did you steal my books,
my pictures, my--
my clocks?
[chirping]
What have you got in there?
No.
No, you don't!
Get out!
Stop.
Fool men with their
[inaudible] ideas.
Never mind about the wicker.
It doesn't matter, so long
as they leave me alone.
[car doors slamming]
[car starting]
[clocks ticking]
Oh, here comes Emily.
About time too.
How pale and wan she looks
and walking so slowly.
I wonder why.
Oh, she looks worries,
she clearly does.
Poor girl.
I'll make some tea.
[clocks ticking]
Emily.
Emily, I've been
waiting for you.
There was the stupidest
man here with a wicker
basket trying to sell me
something I didn't want.
I'm so glad you're home.
It'll make it all cozy again.
Emily, what's wrong?
Stop staring like that.
Here.
I'll pour your tea.
There.
[screaming]
Emily!
[screaming]
Emily.
Don't cringe, child.
I won't let you.
Here, love.
Take some tea.
That's it now.
Now, sip this.
Sip this, child.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Stop [inaudible].
How did you do this?
Take it out.
[grunting]
Take it out, I say.
You're not here, Aunt Tildy.
I'm dreaming.
You're dead.
Hush, baby.
[inaudible] me.
That rapist.
That sneak thief.
That dark-eyed dog fiend.
He stole it, he did.
He ran off with it.
He did.
He did.
Child, get up.
I need you.
Just part of me is here, but
it will have to do for a bit.
Now, fetch my hat and coat.
I've not lost yet.
EMILY: What are you
going to do, Aunt Tildy?
MATILDA: Do?
Get my body back, of course.
[church bells]
Come on.
Out.
Doom.
What have you got there?
Oh, my god.
Stop!
Stop whatever you're doing!
Stop!
Where is it?
Huh?
Where?
[growling]
Where is it?
[crying]
Is that what you
robbed and stole?
Are you a relative
of the deceased?
No, she's me.
She's me.
Hey, you stop him.
Stop!
[radio playing]
I'm sorry.
You haven't begun to be sorry.
Stand aside, sir, I say.
No.
No.
You wouldn't want to see.
Has he started?
Has he begun already?
You, you in there, stop.
Stop, I say.
I do not wish to
use force, madam.
Neither do I. Help!
Now, look.
How can I possibly be
expected to get any work done?
How much have
you done already?
Dear god, I've been
drawn and quartered.
Not quite.
You want your sister back?
No.
Me.
Me.
Me.
Listen.
I'll say this just
once and no more.
That pound of flesh is mine.
I claim it, and if you
don't hand it back--
What will you do, madam?
I will loiter
about your premises.
I will howl and scream.
I will tell the world
you are body snatchers,
gravestone robbers,
death stealers.
Your establishment
will no longer comfort
but will set people ill at
ease, for too much wind here
at midnight, too
many strange sounds,
terrible sights of walking mist,
movable feasts of fog and rain.
Moans and sighs.
Banshees walking on the air.
Right, Ben?
[radio playing]
Any objections?
Madam, the body is yours.
All in one piece?
Sewn back up?
You hear?
Don't do it.
[clattering]
[liquid spilling]
All in?
In.
How nice and neat.
A fine needle and thread.
Why, I do look pretty.
Put me where I can get into me.
Come on, look alive.
Careful.
Careful.
I'm glass.
I'll break.
Steady.
Now take a deep breath.
In, in.
Now exhale down, down, down.
Now toes, feet, ankles.
Here.
Take a hold.
Knees and thighs.
Attention.
Take hold.
Oh, god.
The fingers, hands, arms.
Grab.
Oh, quick!
Head, neck, breasts,
hammer and nail.
Fix and finish in place.
Heart beat.
Lungs are [inaudible].
[clocks ticking]
[chimes]
It has been a long
fight, and I have won.
I'm empress of my castle.
Emily is back in college and
comes, if somewhat nervously,
to visit.
I find paintings
and clocks so well,
perhaps because I'm the
most curious antique of all.
People come to stare
as well as to buy.
And if people ask politely, I
just undo this and show them
the marks where that
crazy funeral autopsy man
sewed me right back up again.
Not bad sewing for a man.
Not bad sewing for a man.
[music playing]
RAY BRADBURY: People ask,
where do you get your ideas?
Well, right here.
All this is my
martian landscape.
Somewhere in this room
is an African veldt.
Just beyond perhaps is a small
Illinois town where I grew up.
And I'm surrounded on every
side by my magician's toy shop.
I'll never starve here.
I just look around, find
what I need, and begin.
I'm Ray Bradbury, and this is--
Well then, right now
what shall it be?
Out of all this, what do
I choose to make a story?
I never know where the
next one will take me,
with a trip, exactly one-half
exhilaration, exactly
one-half terror.
[duck quacking]
MATILDA HANKS: I
am Matilda Hanks.
This is my castle.
I have waited amongst my clocks
and pictures for many years.
I'll not give in.
Oh, no.
One day he'll come.
But this is my castle.
I have all my ammunition here.
Oh, he'll come.
But he has no chance.
I'll not give in.
Oh, no.
[gag]
[glass shattering]
[inaudible]
[brakes squealing]
[car doors slamming]
MATILDA HANKS: Who's that
coming into my house?
Now, just hold on there.
What are you doing?
What-- who--
Who are these people?
Are you delivering?
I didn't order anything.
So you're not bringing
something here.
[thud]
Did you hear what I said?
If you want to talk to
me, well, you can talk.
But in the meantime, you don't
mind if I pour myself tea?
There.
I'd have offered you some
if you'd been more polite.
But you come in here
high and mighty,
with never a bye you'll leave.
You think you own the place.
There.
You've made me lose count.
Now, start again.
Tell me the things
you've got to tell me.
I'll pay attention.
But no smut.
Stop staring at me with that
funny look in your eyes.
Good Lord, it gives
me the heebie jeebies.
Now, about that wicker
basket and those four men.
You don't need
them to carry that.
Why, it's light as thistles.
Where have I seen a
wicker like that before?
Oh, yes.
It was when Mrs. Dwyer
passed away next door.
So that's what you're up to.
right.
You just sit there until
my Emily comes home.
She'll take care
of you, young man.
She'll shoo you out
so soon, you'll--
let me tell you about
Emily, my fair, sweet child.
I remember the day
her mother died 20
years ago, leaving Emily to me.
Who ever heard of people
dying for good reason?
That's why I get so angry
with you and your wicker.
Anyway, Tildy, what you
going to do with your life?
Papa?
Why don't you settle
down, marry, raise a family?
MATILDA HANKS: I like laughing
and singing and playing.
I'm not the marrying kind.
But I can't find a man
with my philosophy, Papa.
PAPA: What philosophy is that?
MATILDA HANKS: That
death is ridiculous.
But, Papa, just once I did find
the man with my philosophy.
Oh, my darling.
Just once.
MAN: But what can we do?
MATILDA HANKS: Fight.
Kick it below the belt.
Don't believe in it.
He liked laughing
and the singing,
and I'm starting my own
philosophy here and now.
[inaudible] people only live
a couple of years and then get
shoved like wet seeds in a
hole but nothing sprouts.
What good do they do?
Lie there a million
years, helping no one.
Most of them find
nice decent people
or at least trying to be.
But more than you,
my dearest Papa,
and more than dearest
Mama, I lost my darling.
[glass shattering]
But you weren't listening, Papa.
You just faded away like a
photograph left out the sun.
I couldn't stay
after he was cold.
It would have denied
my philosophy.
I lost my darling.
He stole him.
He took him.
That sneak thief stole him away.
He did.
He did.
He did.
I never got married.
I was afraid of living
with a man 20 or 30 years
and then having him
up and die on me.
It would have shaken
my convictions
like a house of cards.
I shunned the world.
I screamed if people so
much as mentioned death.
How do you know
all those things?
You think you can talk me
into that silly wicker basket,
you're off your trolley.
You lay hands on me, and I'll--
don't simper like a sick dog.
I'm too old to be made love to.
That's all twisted dry
like an old tube of paint
and left behind in the years.
Young man, you are refused
because I am all of a piece
I add up.
I've been fighting
you all my life.
I won't give in now.
This is my castle, my fortress.
All my ammunition is here.
I've been getting ready
for you for years.
You haven't a chance.
Are you just going to
sit there, young man?
Don't you move from that chair.
Don't you come
creeping around me.
I'm just going to close
my eyes for a moment.
There.
There.
You aren't getting up out
of that chair, are you?
Better not.
I'll keep one eye open for you.
Yes indeed, I will.
[inaudible] So deep,
down, under water almost.
[footsteps]
Who's that moving about in
the dark with my eyes closed?
Who's that kissing my cheek?
Emily?
(THINKING) It was my
fault. I was dreaming.
Drifting off, off, off.
[clock ticking]
What did you say?
[clock chimes]
Are you leaving so
soon, young man?
Had to give up, didn't you?
Couldn't convince me.
No, I'm stubborn as a mule.
Never get me out of
this house, so don't
bother coming back to try.
And you can stop looking like
the cat that got the canary.
And get that crazy wicker
basket out of here.
Just a minute.
Did you steal my books,
my pictures, my--
my clocks?
[chirping]
What have you got in there?
No.
No, you don't!
Get out!
Stop.
Fool men with their
[inaudible] ideas.
Never mind about the wicker.
It doesn't matter, so long
as they leave me alone.
[car doors slamming]
[car starting]
[clocks ticking]
Oh, here comes Emily.
About time too.
How pale and wan she looks
and walking so slowly.
I wonder why.
Oh, she looks worries,
she clearly does.
Poor girl.
I'll make some tea.
[clocks ticking]
Emily.
Emily, I've been
waiting for you.
There was the stupidest
man here with a wicker
basket trying to sell me
something I didn't want.
I'm so glad you're home.
It'll make it all cozy again.
Emily, what's wrong?
Stop staring like that.
Here.
I'll pour your tea.
There.
[screaming]
Emily!
[screaming]
Emily.
Don't cringe, child.
I won't let you.
Here, love.
Take some tea.
That's it now.
Now, sip this.
Sip this, child.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Aunt Tildy.
Stop [inaudible].
How did you do this?
Take it out.
[grunting]
Take it out, I say.
You're not here, Aunt Tildy.
I'm dreaming.
You're dead.
Hush, baby.
[inaudible] me.
That rapist.
That sneak thief.
That dark-eyed dog fiend.
He stole it, he did.
He ran off with it.
He did.
He did.
Child, get up.
I need you.
Just part of me is here, but
it will have to do for a bit.
Now, fetch my hat and coat.
I've not lost yet.
EMILY: What are you
going to do, Aunt Tildy?
MATILDA: Do?
Get my body back, of course.
[church bells]
Come on.
Out.
Doom.
What have you got there?
Oh, my god.
Stop!
Stop whatever you're doing!
Stop!
Where is it?
Huh?
Where?
[growling]
Where is it?
[crying]
Is that what you
robbed and stole?
Are you a relative
of the deceased?
No, she's me.
She's me.
Hey, you stop him.
Stop!
[radio playing]
I'm sorry.
You haven't begun to be sorry.
Stand aside, sir, I say.
No.
No.
You wouldn't want to see.
Has he started?
Has he begun already?
You, you in there, stop.
Stop, I say.
I do not wish to
use force, madam.
Neither do I. Help!
Now, look.
How can I possibly be
expected to get any work done?
How much have
you done already?
Dear god, I've been
drawn and quartered.
Not quite.
You want your sister back?
No.
Me.
Me.
Me.
Listen.
I'll say this just
once and no more.
That pound of flesh is mine.
I claim it, and if you
don't hand it back--
What will you do, madam?
I will loiter
about your premises.
I will howl and scream.
I will tell the world
you are body snatchers,
gravestone robbers,
death stealers.
Your establishment
will no longer comfort
but will set people ill at
ease, for too much wind here
at midnight, too
many strange sounds,
terrible sights of walking mist,
movable feasts of fog and rain.
Moans and sighs.
Banshees walking on the air.
Right, Ben?
[radio playing]
Any objections?
Madam, the body is yours.
All in one piece?
Sewn back up?
You hear?
Don't do it.
[clattering]
[liquid spilling]
All in?
In.
How nice and neat.
A fine needle and thread.
Why, I do look pretty.
Put me where I can get into me.
Come on, look alive.
Careful.
Careful.
I'm glass.
I'll break.
Steady.
Now take a deep breath.
In, in.
Now exhale down, down, down.
Now toes, feet, ankles.
Here.
Take a hold.
Knees and thighs.
Attention.
Take hold.
Oh, god.
The fingers, hands, arms.
Grab.
Oh, quick!
Head, neck, breasts,
hammer and nail.
Fix and finish in place.
Heart beat.
Lungs are [inaudible].
[clocks ticking]
[chimes]
It has been a long
fight, and I have won.
I'm empress of my castle.
Emily is back in college and
comes, if somewhat nervously,
to visit.
I find paintings
and clocks so well,
perhaps because I'm the
most curious antique of all.
People come to stare
as well as to buy.
And if people ask politely, I
just undo this and show them
the marks where that
crazy funeral autopsy man
sewed me right back up again.
Not bad sewing for a man.
Not bad sewing for a man.
[music playing]