The Rat Patrol (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 30 - Mask-A-Raid - full transcript

How you doin'? Don't ask.

[ Tully, Indistinct ]

[ Engine Starts ]

The switch was made at, uh...
1350, Colonel. Right on schedule.

And the German you brought
back? Resting at base hospital.

What is this man,
sir? A Luftwaffe ace.

But he happens to be the
one German in existence...

who can pinpoint a top
secret Allied troop movement.

Which, sir? Let's just say...

that if the enemy
were to act on his info,

the invasion of Sicily
might be stalled for months.

And Moffitt's been sent in to take
his place and fill 'em with phony dope?

Right. We've briefed
him and decked him out...

with the German's I.D.

Who is this man, the one Moffitt
is supposed to be investigating?

Klinger! [ Speaking German ]


English, if you please.

Lieutenant Klinger speaks it.

[ German ]

All right, Kurt.
We speak English.

I can assure the colonel that as security
officer for this group, it is a necessity.

The walls are thin, and the
Arab cleaning personnel...

Are not to be trusted. All right,
Heinrich. Your point is made.

Then, Lieutenant Klinger, it is your
opinion the troops were moving northwest...

from Jakbar and
up to Point Marimbo.

Like so? Not an opinion,
Herr Major. An observation.

And the number of troops?
One division? Two perhaps?

Closer, I would say, to
eight or nine, Herr Oberst.

That is practically
a task force.

It is an opinion based on
an observation, Herr Major.

Lieutenant, how
did it come to be...

that you were flying near
Jakbar in the first place...

when your flight
plan called for Akaba,

some 166 kilometers
distant, huh?

I got separated from my
wing. Ja, this we know.

I happened to pick up Allied radio
signals. I followed them to here.

And I have told
you what I learned.

Lieutenant Klinger, Major
Bruder means no offense.

It's merely that you
understand, on your word...

The word of a
seriously burned man...

Either a total air strike will
be made or will not be made.

Ja. Ja, I understand,
Herr Oberst.

A single mistake, and the
opportunity of a lifetime is lost.

I have made no
mistake, Herr Oberst.

I hope not, Lieutenant. You
see, what you have told us...

directly bears out a
pet theory of my own...

That the armies will attempt to
invade Sicily from here rather than here.

[ Chuckles ]

By the way, Lieutenant,
I have a surprise for you.

News from Berlin. Berlin?

Vice Marshal Goering
himself will decorate you.

How you doing? Don't ask.

[ Knocking ] [ German ]

[ German ]

[ German ]

Didn't your mother teach
you it's rude to point?

[ Chuckles ]

Enough stuff in here to
put an elephant to sleep.

Sorry. They buy your story?

I'm not sure. I'm afraid
there's a fly in the ointment.

Have they sent out any messages
on the radio, general staff?


I've been buzzing
around there all morning.

I'm still not sure why you
have to destroy the radio.

Just in case they have a second
thought on the message you fed them.

First they have to
send the message.

- Who's the messenger boy?
- Gehlson. Thickset.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I ran
into him out in the hall.

He's only too anxious
to send the message.

It probably means
promotion for him.

Well, the minute he sends it, I
hit the communications center.

And if you don't have anything
more pressing to do, try and be there.

You got the wedding
ring on the right hand.

Yes, the right
hand, German style.

Oh, you said something about
a fly in the ointment. Who is it?

Major Bruder, why should
a man like Klinger lie?

If he is Klinger. Ridiculous.

Is it?

Then perhaps you can tell me where
the driver is who brought him here.

He seems to have
disappeared into thin air.

Probably off duty.

You have an overactive
imagination, Major Bruder.

A common failing, I might add,
of people in your profession.

Sometimes an overactive
imagination is better than none at all.

Of course, if you feel that
I'm overstepping my authority,

I will be happy to send
my report directly to Berlin.

That won't be necessary, Major.

There's one certain
way to find out.

If you please,
Doctor... The bandages.

[ Doctor ] The medical
report couldn't be any clearer.

Under no circumstances...

are these bandages to
be removed for 72 hours.

Major Bruder, I
am satisfied now.

But if you're not...

I am not.

Go ahead.

Whatever happens,
it's on your head.

Now, Major, realize,
if you're wrong,

you're condemning a
hero of the Third Reich...

to a life of unmitigated misery.

And they say
that Mrs. Klinger...

has a pipeline to
Goering himself.

No! Please!

We've lost enough time, Kurt.

See that Lieutenant Klinger's information
is sent to headquarters immediately.

Of course, Colonel.

[ Door Closes ]

[ Knocking ] [ German ]

Everything goes
well, Lieutenant, huh?

Fine. Fine.

[ Sighs ]

About my caution
a few minutes ago.

I am sorry. I hope
you understand.

Under the circumstances...
Under these circumstances,

I would have done
the same thing.

I'm sorry I lost
my self-control.

Quite natural. Believe
me, Lieutenant.

My job is not a pleasant one.

Even my family seems
to be afraid of me.

An unpleasant but vital job.

That is why I am so happy
to be the bearer of good news.

Good news?

Oh, don't think Germany doesn't
know how to treat its air aces.

In just a few minutes, your wife
will be arriving at the airport...

in no less than Herr Marshal
Goering's private airplane.

[ German ]

[ Grunting, Groaning ]


I'll leave you two alone.

[ Door Closes ]

Oh, Klaus! Klaus!

So thin.

It's been a long time.

- Have I changed, Klaus?
- Have I?

Have I put on weight? No?

You're beautiful.

Your voice...
It's so different...

underneath the bandages.

It's... difficult to speak.

Have my letters
been reaching you?


- Mine, you?
- Regularly.

[ Door Opens ]

Bitte, if you'll excuse
the interruption.

Oh, there it is.

So, Frau Klinger,
how do you find him?

- Exactly the way
the major told me I would.
- Oh.

I see.

So, Fräulein Greuner...

Fräulein Greuner?

Your briefing was perfect, my
friend, excepting in one detail:

Frau Ilse Klinger was killed
in an air raid six weeks ago.

You will please go immediately
to Oberst Von Graff...

and inform him we
have an impostor.

Now, the bandages,
if you please.

I'm curious.

Something I did must
have made you suspicious.

What was it? Several things.

I think... you call it... It
was something you wore,

not did.

The wedding ring.

Obviously, you are
a single man. Hmm?

A habit you have
of twisting your ring.

Kindly notice your
finger when you do so.

- The suntan.
- Correct!

Where your watch
was, a white band.

Where you ring is, nothing!

You realize, of course,
that the instructions

for the air strike have
already been wired.

- I do indeed.
- You don't seem very concerned.

Orders can always
be countermanded.

Enough of this chitchat.

The masquerade is over.

[ Groans ]

You could save yourself a
great deal of unpleasantness...

by telling me who you
are, how you got here,

what you're after.

Any special order? [ Chuckles ]

Don't be a fool.

So far, this has only been
a spectator sport for you.

The real fun is
just about to begin.

For your own good, talk.

Yeah. Heil Hitler.

[ Groans ]

[ Punches Landing ]

[ Groans ]

[ Conversing In German ]

Hier? Ja.

Are you sure? Yes, Colonel.

The man is a spy, planted
here to feed us false information.

There's not a moment to lose.

[ Conversing In German ]

[ Alarm Blaring ]

[ Groans, Chuckles ]

You're late.

[ Alarm Continues ]


[ Alarm Continues ] [
Footsteps Approaching ]

[ Shouting In German ]

[ Shouting Continues ]


[ Gunshots ]

Any word on the air strike, sir?
Everything went off as scheduled.

And the Luftwaffe? They
came in with everything they had,

right where we
were expecting 'em.

Not to change the subject,
sir, but how is Troy?

Well, the doctors would like to keep
him under observation for about a week.

That'll be the day. If I'm
any judge of character,

he's probably waiting
for you right now.

[ Sighs ] Move
out. [ Engine Starts ]

[ Roars ]