The Rat Patrol (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 23 - The Holy War Raid - full transcript
[ Man Praying In
Foreign Language ]
[ People Praying In
Foreign Language ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
[ Worshippers Shouting ]
Company's coming.
It's all right. It's Dhakhil.
Whoa.
Good morning, Dhakhil.
This is an unexpected
pleasure that... [ Spits ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
You're the Arab expert.
What are they so happy about?
You will come
with us, all of you!
No, gentlemen. We're all good
Americans for the time being.
[ Speaking German ]
English, Lieutenant Rautmann.
Our guest is a perceptive
and wise old man.
- We can afford no mistakes.
- Yes, sir.
By now the Arabs should
have spread the news...
that their leader has been
kidnapped by the American Rat Patrol.
And how long will
we keep him, sir?
Mm, let's give them
time to brood a little.
Meanwhile, I'll see the
rest of the Arab chieftains...
and offer them the aid and
sympathy of the German forces.
- Perfect, Colonel.
- When we rescue their leader,
we will have the gratitude and
firm alliance of the entire Arab nation.
Which, gentlemen, is
very, very important...
for the German desert campaign.
Dismissed.
No! Easy.
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
What is it?
It's a ransom note for
their religious leader,
Marabout Ibn al Rahman.
It's supposedly written by us.
We're not responsible for this.
There were many who
saw you, including myself.
- Well, you didn't see us!
- [ Crowd Speaking
Foreign Language ]
[ Sighs ] Listen, Dhakhil.
Turn us loose and we'll
find your holy man for you,
if he's still alive.
Great Dhakhil, I am a longtime
friend of the desert tribes,
as was my father.
I saw the girl Khadyah here. She
will vouch for the truth of what I say.
Her father and my father
were brothers in blood.
To you and English,
I give this knife...
and two horses.
Your two companions
will remain here with us.
If the marabout is not returned
to us by sundown this very day,
they shall be food
for the jackals.
Sundown? That's
less than five hours.
Take it, Sarge. It's
better than none at all.
Until sundown.
All right, Moffitt. Let's go.
That's less than five hours,
and we don't know where to start.
We start with this.
[ Blows ]
You sure? Yes, look.
That's the rock that came with
the note. Same thing... quartz.
These hills are the only
place for 700 miles...
where you can find quartz
deposits in this structure.
All right. We found
where the rock came from.
Now how do we find
the guy who threw it?
That's another matter entirely.
Two hours and 40 minutes wasted.
Troy.
- Do you hear it?
- [ Vehicle In Distance ]
That uniform doesn't
do a thing for Dietrich.
Good day, gentlemen.
O Sheikh, may I introduce Sergeant
Troy, and myself, Sergeant Moffitt.
Those who have kidnapped
you are German soldiers...
Please, do not explain.
You are the ones that
Allah has sent to rescue me.
Well, we haven't
rescued you yet.
Must there be more killing?
Not if we can help it.
Terribly sorry, gentlemen.
I would hate for you to leave
without saying good-bye.
I hope you understand...
we have no intentions
of harming you.
But now that these
Americans have found you,
we will send you to Germany
for the duration of the war.
There you will be
given every courtesy.
Keep them under guard in there,
while I talk to the
Arab chieftains.
[ Tapping ]
Take off these American
insignias, please.
[ German ]
Tie them up.
The flare gun! Use it!
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
[ Engine Revs ]
[ Door Opens ]
I'll get the jeep.
What's the matter? Dietrich.
He's heading for the
Arab camp, and so are we.
We'll probably crawl
right up his tailpipe.
Just a moment.
Hauptmann Dietrich?
Hauptmann Dietrich hier.
Hauptmann Dietrich. [ German ]
[ German ]
- [ German ]
- [ German ]
[ German ]
[ Continues On Phone In German ]
[ German ]
What'd you say?
I told him his prisoners
had escaped. You what?
I told him they knew he was
heading west, so they've headed east.
He's going after us.
His German isn't quite
as good as my English.
Our prisoners will be
coming this way soon.
I... hope sincerely
they enjoy surprises.
[ Chattering ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
You know, I don't think that old
boy's too anxious to murder us.
He doesn't give a hoot about us.
He just wants his crummy knife back.
Fire!
[ Machine Gun Fire In Distance ]
[ Shouting In Foreign Language ]
[ Gunfire Continues ]
Well, if that's Troy and Moffitt, they
must be bringing the Germans with them.
[ German ]
We must not hurt the old man.
Why have they stopped shooting?
He's why.
Whatever happens, holy
man, keep your head down.
Remember, we don't
like any killing either,
especially when
we're the target.
Stay right where you
are. Throw your guns out.
Can you handle the
guy on the half-track?
Now get out.
I said, get out!
[ German ]
[ Gasps ]
Mara... Marabout!
[ Foreign Language ]
[ Foreign Language ]
You suppose he'll
want his knife back?
Where's Hitch? Guess.
Get 'im.
Sergeant Troy, my thanks to you.
My people admire much
your cunning and your courage.
Well, it's just that we're
pretty low on saints these days,
and we have to protect
the ones we've got.
Saints take many
forms, my friend.
Many forms.
Thank you.
[ Both Chuckling ]
Your halo's crooked, Sarge.
[ Roars ]
Foreign Language ]
[ People Praying In
Foreign Language ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Praying In Foreign
Language Continues ]
[ Machine Gun Fire ]
[ Worshippers Shouting ]
Company's coming.
It's all right. It's Dhakhil.
Whoa.
Good morning, Dhakhil.
This is an unexpected
pleasure that... [ Spits ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
You're the Arab expert.
What are they so happy about?
You will come
with us, all of you!
No, gentlemen. We're all good
Americans for the time being.
[ Speaking German ]
English, Lieutenant Rautmann.
Our guest is a perceptive
and wise old man.
- We can afford no mistakes.
- Yes, sir.
By now the Arabs should
have spread the news...
that their leader has been
kidnapped by the American Rat Patrol.
And how long will
we keep him, sir?
Mm, let's give them
time to brood a little.
Meanwhile, I'll see the
rest of the Arab chieftains...
and offer them the aid and
sympathy of the German forces.
- Perfect, Colonel.
- When we rescue their leader,
we will have the gratitude and
firm alliance of the entire Arab nation.
Which, gentlemen, is
very, very important...
for the German desert campaign.
Dismissed.
No! Easy.
[ Horse Whinnies ]
[ Horse Whinnies ]
What is it?
It's a ransom note for
their religious leader,
Marabout Ibn al Rahman.
It's supposedly written by us.
We're not responsible for this.
There were many who
saw you, including myself.
- Well, you didn't see us!
- [ Crowd Speaking
Foreign Language ]
[ Sighs ] Listen, Dhakhil.
Turn us loose and we'll
find your holy man for you,
if he's still alive.
Great Dhakhil, I am a longtime
friend of the desert tribes,
as was my father.
I saw the girl Khadyah here. She
will vouch for the truth of what I say.
Her father and my father
were brothers in blood.
To you and English,
I give this knife...
and two horses.
Your two companions
will remain here with us.
If the marabout is not returned
to us by sundown this very day,
they shall be food
for the jackals.
Sundown? That's
less than five hours.
Take it, Sarge. It's
better than none at all.
Until sundown.
All right, Moffitt. Let's go.
That's less than five hours,
and we don't know where to start.
We start with this.
[ Blows ]
You sure? Yes, look.
That's the rock that came with
the note. Same thing... quartz.
These hills are the only
place for 700 miles...
where you can find quartz
deposits in this structure.
All right. We found
where the rock came from.
Now how do we find
the guy who threw it?
That's another matter entirely.
Two hours and 40 minutes wasted.
Troy.
- Do you hear it?
- [ Vehicle In Distance ]
That uniform doesn't
do a thing for Dietrich.
Good day, gentlemen.
O Sheikh, may I introduce Sergeant
Troy, and myself, Sergeant Moffitt.
Those who have kidnapped
you are German soldiers...
Please, do not explain.
You are the ones that
Allah has sent to rescue me.
Well, we haven't
rescued you yet.
Must there be more killing?
Not if we can help it.
Terribly sorry, gentlemen.
I would hate for you to leave
without saying good-bye.
I hope you understand...
we have no intentions
of harming you.
But now that these
Americans have found you,
we will send you to Germany
for the duration of the war.
There you will be
given every courtesy.
Keep them under guard in there,
while I talk to the
Arab chieftains.
[ Tapping ]
Take off these American
insignias, please.
[ German ]
Tie them up.
The flare gun! Use it!
[ Grunting, Groaning ]
[ Engine Revs ]
[ Door Opens ]
I'll get the jeep.
What's the matter? Dietrich.
He's heading for the
Arab camp, and so are we.
We'll probably crawl
right up his tailpipe.
Just a moment.
Hauptmann Dietrich?
Hauptmann Dietrich hier.
Hauptmann Dietrich. [ German ]
[ German ]
- [ German ]
- [ German ]
[ German ]
[ Continues On Phone In German ]
[ German ]
What'd you say?
I told him his prisoners
had escaped. You what?
I told him they knew he was
heading west, so they've headed east.
He's going after us.
His German isn't quite
as good as my English.
Our prisoners will be
coming this way soon.
I... hope sincerely
they enjoy surprises.
[ Chattering ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
[ Chattering Continues ]
You know, I don't think that old
boy's too anxious to murder us.
He doesn't give a hoot about us.
He just wants his crummy knife back.
Fire!
[ Machine Gun Fire In Distance ]
[ Shouting In Foreign Language ]
[ Gunfire Continues ]
Well, if that's Troy and Moffitt, they
must be bringing the Germans with them.
[ German ]
We must not hurt the old man.
Why have they stopped shooting?
He's why.
Whatever happens, holy
man, keep your head down.
Remember, we don't
like any killing either,
especially when
we're the target.
Stay right where you
are. Throw your guns out.
Can you handle the
guy on the half-track?
Now get out.
I said, get out!
[ German ]
[ Gasps ]
Mara... Marabout!
[ Foreign Language ]
[ Foreign Language ]
You suppose he'll
want his knife back?
Where's Hitch? Guess.
Get 'im.
Sergeant Troy, my thanks to you.
My people admire much
your cunning and your courage.
Well, it's just that we're
pretty low on saints these days,
and we have to protect
the ones we've got.
Saints take many
forms, my friend.
Many forms.
Thank you.
[ Both Chuckling ]
Your halo's crooked, Sarge.
[ Roars ]