The Ranch (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 13 - Episode #3.13 - full transcript
Dad?
Nick's gone.
What happened?
I told him I thought it'd be best
if he moved on. He's not coming back.
You told him to leave?
Why would you do that?
Look at you.
Walking up to an ex-con's house, angry,
with a rifle in your hand.
I had one way
to find Rooster and you just fucked it up.
I know this is hard, Colt.
Because of you.
If Nick was here, I'd have some answers.
Come on, Colt, stop.
Christ. There's nothin' in there.
How do you know?
You don't know anything.
You just made up your mind
as to what's gonna happen.
I'm trying to protect you.
Bullshit.
You always talk about being there
for the family.
But when the shit hits the fan...
you're fuckin' worthless.
Hey, you.
Hey!
What are you doing here?!
Oh, I wanted to be with you.
Gosh.
Thank you,
but I told you I'm doin' all right.
- I talked to your dad and he's worried.
- Oh!
- He's full of shit.
- You got a black eye.
Babe, I'm fine.
And Rooster is fine.
I'm close to finding him.
That Nick ran him out of town.
So if I can get
into Rooster's bank account
I can use his credit-card charges
to track him.
When's the last time you slept?
Oh, I slept a little bit
in the back of the police car.
Back of the police car?
- What the fuck happened?
- Don't worry.
I... Help me figure out his password.
I already tried "Redneck Rambo,"
"Fuck Tom Brady,"
"Mr. Carrie Underwood."
I can't imagine
what you're going through right now,
but maybe you should put
the computer down and talk to me.
I'm in.
His password's "Colt sucks."
I shoulda known that.
Mine's "Colt rules," but with a "Z."
Let's see what you can find.
All right, here we go.
Checking and savings?
Who's he? Papa John?
Okay, recent charges.
Holy shit.
It's the Backcountry Lodge, Norwood.
- That's from today.
- Yep.
I found him.
I fuckin' found him.
I can't believe this.
We gotta tell your dad.
No, he'll find out
when Rooster comes home.
Oh, and remind me
to change his password to "Colt Rulez."
How's Colt, er...
doing with all this?
Not good.
He's mad at everything and everybody.
I think Abby being here's
gonna help a lot.
Thing is, I can understand
why Colt's so angry.
He knew right away
that something was wrong.
And I brushed him off.
What kind of a father ignores his son?
There's not a damn thing
you coulda done different.
There's a lot of things
I coulda done different.
Don't beat yourself up, Beau.
You raised good men with good hearts.
When my house burned down
Colt went over there to salvage stuff.
And he was so excited
when he came back with that jewelry
that I didn't have the heart to tell him
he stole it from my neighbor's house.
And then Rooster left me
a bottle of whiskey,
with a note on it that said,
"Fight fire with Fireball."
Well, it was half a bottle.
Go ahead.
You always say the right thing.
And thank you, pard.
Just lookin' at you reminds me
that things could always be worse.
Fuck you, Beau.
Maggie.
Joanne.
I'm so sorry, Maggie.
Thank you so much for being here.
Hey, Dale.
If you need a reason to smile,
come by and visit Charlene and me.
We got a new puppy.
Labradoodle.
We named him Matlock.
OK, I'll be sure to do that.
Why don't we give you a minute?
Thanks, Dale.
I can't believe this has happened.
Hell of a way to spend your birthday.
Is Colt any better?
No.
But Abby's with him.
This whole thing's just unbelievable.
It is.
I wanna see where... it happened.
You sure you wanna do that?
No, I need to.
Holy shit.
This is Rooster's duffle.
Does kinda smell like Rooster in here.
CK One and old hot dog water.
Check it out. Check it out.
Genesis 2.2.
"On the seventh day, God created Rooster,
and Eve said
'We're gonna need a bigger fig leaf.'"
He writes this in every Bible.
We fuckin' found him.
When's the last time
that you saw him?
I don't know, couple days ago.
Yeah, but his credit card
was charged today.
Card's on file.
We keep charging till they check out.
Oh.
Fuckin' same way Netflix gets you.
Could you give us a minute?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- He's probably out gettin' beer.
- How d'you know?
There ain't no beer in here.
The manager said
they haven't seen him in a couple days.
He's hiding from Nick.
If Rooster don't wanna be found, he ain't
gonna be found. He's like a ninja.
He could be hidin' behind this curtain.
Huh. He's not.
How awesome would it have been if he was.
Yeah, whatever. He'll be back soon.
So, what, we're just gonna wait for him?
Why wouldn't we wait?
Yeah, you're right.
Of course, we'll wait for him.
If we're staying,
I'm gonna hit up the vending machine,
get us some redneck room service.
Oh, see if you can see one dangling.
That way you get two.
I know how to get doubles
from the vending machine, Colt.
Arh!
Look at this picture of Rooster.
That smile.
That was the day he lost his first tooth.
Yeah.
Colt heard the Tooth Fairy'd put money
under your pillow
so he knocked out one of Rooster's
front teeth with a...
hammer.
You were pissed
they got blood on the hammer
so you put a note
under Rooster's pillow that said,
"Money went to cleaning expenses."
Remember how losin' that tooth
gave Rooster a little "lithp."
It was hard not to laugh when he was
running around the house,
and going, "Colt'th an ath-hole."
Look.
This is when we brought him home
from the hospital.
He's so small.
Fuck.
I wish there was somethin'
I could say, Mags.
I just remember...
in a thunderstorm,
how he'd get into bed with us
and stick his little toes
under my leg, y'know, just to...
make sure I was still there.
Yeah.
This isn't supposed to happen.
You're not supposed
to outlive your children.
Beau, what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
Yeah, well...
I'm lost, so...
- Hey, Mary.
- Hey, Maggie.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Hey, Beau.
Hey, Mary.
Good to see you.
You, too.
There a steak in that bag?
I think I smell steak.
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought you guys might be hungry.
I'm sure Charlene brought
one of her special casseroles.
- She did.
- Yeah.
Only thing worse are her gluten-free,
sugar-free Christmas cookies.
My dog won't even eat one of those
and he literally eats cat shit.
How you guys doin'?
Best we can.
It's tough.
Yeah.
Erm...
So I've been, er...
I've been thinking about everything
and I just wanna say...
I'm... so sorry.
We all are.
No.
No, Colt was right.
If I hadn't let Nick back into my life...
he and Rooster
never woulda had a problem
and none of this
ever woulda happened.
I am so sorry.
Listen, Mary...
it's not your fault.
It was an accident.
We've been playin' that game all day.
I'm the one
that taught Rooster how to ride.
Well, hell, I'm the one
who loaned him the money for the bike.
There's nothin' anybody coulda done.
I'm just so
upside down, y'know?
I just keep expecting him to walk
through that door with a six-pack
and that fake country music award
he used to...
carry around to pick up chicks.
Yeah.
Hey, I keep listening
to his last voicemail.
It's kinda comforting to hear his voice.
Even if he is asking how far after the
expiration date you can still drink milk.
Fuckin' knucklehead.
God, I miss him.
Me, too.
Yeah, we all do.
Something I can do for you, son?
Mornin'. I have news about Rooster.
Oh, hey, you're up.
Good.
Got you a decaf...
from the lobby.
There was also some donuts there,
but there was a big can
of OFF! right next to 'em, so...
I just spoke to your dad.
What the hell'd he want?
Sit down.
Erm...
Well, the, erm...
The police came by.
And they're calling off
the search for Rooster.
Why?
Apparently...
they found his wallet...
and some clothing
and there was blood on it...
about a half-mile
down the river.
Sorry.
Okay.
So?
So?
Now they're switching it from search
and rescue to search and recovery.
Who cares?
They weren't gonna find him, anyway.
Just goes to show how far he went to
make this whole disappearance look real.
- Colt, come on.
- I'm serious.
Okay.
You know this room is a part of it.
Right?
I figured it out last night. I was...
If Rooster's in hiding, right,
why would he use his credit card
to stay here?
It's too easy to track.
I figured it out and I'm a fuckin' idiot.
Then why is all his stuff here?
It's a decoy room.
Babe, all this stuff, this is decoy stuff.
Throw Nick off his trail.
Look at this stuff.
He wouldn't pack any of this...
Fuckin' jean shorts?
A collared shirt?
A book?!
Colt.
No one wants to see Rooster again
more than I do, okay?
I wanna see him walk through that door
and say, "Badass,"
and pretend that this is his baby and do
all the other stupid shit that he does,
but at some point
we are going to have to face reality.
What reality?
The fact that he might
not be coming back at all!
He's out there.
I want to believe that, too.
Then believe it!
During the fire, when you were lost,
and the police told me I wasn't allowed
to go look for you, that didn't stop me.
- This is different.
- No!
It's not!
I knew you were alive!
And I was gonna bring you back,
and I did.
And with or without your help,
I'm bringin' Rooster back, too.
- Colt...
- Let's go.
Colt...
Oh, Jesus.
Hey, Colt.
Mom.
Hi.
Hey.
I thought you were gonna come in the house
when you dropped Abby off.
I didn't wanna get into it with Dad again.
You change your hair?
No, just Aunt Karen started chemo,
and you know that whole
"shave your head for solidarity."
Well, she wasn't a very good sister,
so I got highlights.
Looks great.
Hey, erm...
I just... Sorry you had to come
all the way back for no reason.
You're sorry?
Of course, when I heard, I'd be here.
Well, maybe now you can
help me find him, huh?
Look...
You probably don't wanna hear this, but...
your father and I
have put together a little something
this Saturday for Rooster.
You're havin' a funeral?
No, no.
We're gonna have a celebration
of his life.
A celebration of his life?
Yeah.
I'll have a fuckin' funeral
when there's a body to bury.
Colt...
finding a body or not...
he's gone.
Jesus Christ.
Is that what you came here to say?
I mean, everyone in this family just
can't wait to fuckin' forget about him.
You think I don't want him alive
as much as you do?
You don't think I wouldn't give
the world to have him back?
But it's not going to happen.
How do you say that?
Because...
yesterday was my birthday.
And every year, without fail,
Rooster calls to sing
"Happy Birthday" to me.
I mean, usually drunk,
sometimes from jail,
once with Chumlee from Pawn Stars,
but he never doesn't call,
until yesterday.
Mom... Mom.
Mom...
he couldn't call you...
because he's hiding.
He doesn't want anyone
to know where he is.
Okay, that is not what's happening here.
Mom...
I promise you...
you are going to see Rooster...
Okay, stop it. Just stop it, Colt!
Stop it, because every time you say that,
it breaks my heart.
Because I get some hope, y'know,
that he's gonna come
walking through the door, and he's not.
You have to start to accept this
or we're gonna lose
our fuckin' minds, just stop!
Don't!
You know what?
You just got married, right?
You have a baby on the way.
They need you.
I need you.
- Please, let him go.
- No.
- He can't be gone!
- I'm sorry.
No!
I've been away for 15 years!
And things are just goin' right!
We got the ranch!
He's gonna be an uncle, and you're
telling me I'm never gonna see him again?
No, I'm sorry that...
My brother cannot be dead!
I'm so sorry, baby.
Rooster was wise beyond his years.
Did you know that
if you're going over 90 on the toll road
they can't take a picture of your plates?
Well, Rooster did.
But the best advice he ever gave me was...
whatever you do,
don't date my dad.
Even though it was such a short time,
I'm glad I got to know him.
I miss Rooster so much.
Watching The Bachelor with him,
eating fried chicken...
The stupid "breast" and "thighs" jokes
he made every single time.
And, y'know,
sure he wore "Got MILF" t-shirts and...
he used peach schnapps for mouthwash.
But he...
He was also sweet.
And vulnerable.
And... really kind.
Jameson was our first born.
And he...
Well, the relationship that we had...
I know God has some plan. I...
just think it's really hard to know
what that is right now.
Maybe he just wanted somebody up there
to make him laugh, right?
I'm sure Rooster's having a...
a beard-off with Jesus or...
...trying to convince him
to turn some water into Bud Light.
'Course things weren't always
great between us.
The last thing I said to my son was...
that I didn't need him.
And that he was an embarrassment.
Neither one of those things is true.
I love you, Rooster.
And I was always proud of you.
You were a hell of a rancher
and a better man.
You held this family together.
I don't know what we're gonna do
without you.
Colt.
I'm so sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry about.
Got this in the mail today.
Rooster must've sent it
when he found out we got the ranch.
Also got a note.
"Hey, little bro.
We fucking did it."
Shit. Sorry, God.
"Bennett Brothers' Ranch...
You made this happen. Thank you.
Nobody around to teach you how to ranch
except maybe Tony Stewart."
[congregation chuckles[
Oh...
"Seriously..."
"I love you.
If you ever tell anyone I said this,
I'll kick your ass."
Oh...
Well, he also sent a...
baby gift.
Rooster wasn't just my big brother.
He was my best friend.
And, er...
...he was always afraid they...
...they weren't gonna have
Skoal in heaven, so...
I got you, big bro.
I'm glad you came to the service.
Rooster woulda wanted you there.
Yeah, he woulda.
Actually, he woulda wanted to be alive
and not have a fuckin' funeral.
I'm pretty sure wherever he is,
he's glad he got out of his bar tab.
Hey, it's great
that so many people are here.
What better way to honor Rooster
than everybody gettin' drunk
and drivin' home.
What are you doin'?
Rooster and I had a little bet,
who'd have more people at their funeral.
So, when I die
you just remember "43."
Well you got a built-in advantage 'cause
at your funeral I'm bringin' a date.
Oh, my parents are here.
Wait. Ah, fuck.
All right, "45."
I'm so sorry we missed the service.
Chuck couldn't fit into his church pants.
Well, I could afford new ones
if our Macy's card wasn't maxed out.
Anyway, Colt,
we are so sorry about your brother.
Thank you.
Hey, just out of curiosity,
y'all would come to my funeral, right?
I wouldn't miss it.
You doin' okay, Mom?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Have any more of that Aspirin?
They're Xanax.
Yeah, I was tryin' to be
discreet. Just gimme a fuckin' pill.
I'm really gonna miss Rooster.
I feel like I should go find a chick
to make out with in his honor.
Holy shit.
Is that Tanya Showers?
Last time I saw her is
when we went fishing...
Yeah, no one cares.
Hi, Tanya.
Hi.
I'm Colt... Bennett.
My brother died.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm real sad.
Oh.
Ahhhh.
So, how'd you know Rooster?
He sent me letters.
Many, many letters.
It was real nice of you...
Yeah, no one cares, Colt.
Here you go.
Hi, I'm Abby.
- God, I'm sad, too.
- Oh.
Hey, Beau.
- Jerry.
- Maggie.
Thanks for coming, Jerry.
Yeah. I'm so sorry for your loss,
which we could turn into a gain
against the Honda Corporation of America.
It's weird to be here
drinkin' without Rooster.
Hi, Tanya.
Er...
He was there the first time I got drunk,
celebrating state championship,
freshman year.
In retrospect, probably shouldn't
have done it before the game.
But, well, we won, so...
No, we lost that year.
Yeah, who remembers?
To Rooster.
To Rooster.
Hey, Heather?
What's up, Hank?
Did somethin' happen to Rooster?
Nick's gone.
What happened?
I told him I thought it'd be best
if he moved on. He's not coming back.
You told him to leave?
Why would you do that?
Look at you.
Walking up to an ex-con's house, angry,
with a rifle in your hand.
I had one way
to find Rooster and you just fucked it up.
I know this is hard, Colt.
Because of you.
If Nick was here, I'd have some answers.
Come on, Colt, stop.
Christ. There's nothin' in there.
How do you know?
You don't know anything.
You just made up your mind
as to what's gonna happen.
I'm trying to protect you.
Bullshit.
You always talk about being there
for the family.
But when the shit hits the fan...
you're fuckin' worthless.
Hey, you.
Hey!
What are you doing here?!
Oh, I wanted to be with you.
Gosh.
Thank you,
but I told you I'm doin' all right.
- I talked to your dad and he's worried.
- Oh!
- He's full of shit.
- You got a black eye.
Babe, I'm fine.
And Rooster is fine.
I'm close to finding him.
That Nick ran him out of town.
So if I can get
into Rooster's bank account
I can use his credit-card charges
to track him.
When's the last time you slept?
Oh, I slept a little bit
in the back of the police car.
Back of the police car?
- What the fuck happened?
- Don't worry.
I... Help me figure out his password.
I already tried "Redneck Rambo,"
"Fuck Tom Brady,"
"Mr. Carrie Underwood."
I can't imagine
what you're going through right now,
but maybe you should put
the computer down and talk to me.
I'm in.
His password's "Colt sucks."
I shoulda known that.
Mine's "Colt rules," but with a "Z."
Let's see what you can find.
All right, here we go.
Checking and savings?
Who's he? Papa John?
Okay, recent charges.
Holy shit.
It's the Backcountry Lodge, Norwood.
- That's from today.
- Yep.
I found him.
I fuckin' found him.
I can't believe this.
We gotta tell your dad.
No, he'll find out
when Rooster comes home.
Oh, and remind me
to change his password to "Colt Rulez."
How's Colt, er...
doing with all this?
Not good.
He's mad at everything and everybody.
I think Abby being here's
gonna help a lot.
Thing is, I can understand
why Colt's so angry.
He knew right away
that something was wrong.
And I brushed him off.
What kind of a father ignores his son?
There's not a damn thing
you coulda done different.
There's a lot of things
I coulda done different.
Don't beat yourself up, Beau.
You raised good men with good hearts.
When my house burned down
Colt went over there to salvage stuff.
And he was so excited
when he came back with that jewelry
that I didn't have the heart to tell him
he stole it from my neighbor's house.
And then Rooster left me
a bottle of whiskey,
with a note on it that said,
"Fight fire with Fireball."
Well, it was half a bottle.
Go ahead.
You always say the right thing.
And thank you, pard.
Just lookin' at you reminds me
that things could always be worse.
Fuck you, Beau.
Maggie.
Joanne.
I'm so sorry, Maggie.
Thank you so much for being here.
Hey, Dale.
If you need a reason to smile,
come by and visit Charlene and me.
We got a new puppy.
Labradoodle.
We named him Matlock.
OK, I'll be sure to do that.
Why don't we give you a minute?
Thanks, Dale.
I can't believe this has happened.
Hell of a way to spend your birthday.
Is Colt any better?
No.
But Abby's with him.
This whole thing's just unbelievable.
It is.
I wanna see where... it happened.
You sure you wanna do that?
No, I need to.
Holy shit.
This is Rooster's duffle.
Does kinda smell like Rooster in here.
CK One and old hot dog water.
Check it out. Check it out.
Genesis 2.2.
"On the seventh day, God created Rooster,
and Eve said
'We're gonna need a bigger fig leaf.'"
He writes this in every Bible.
We fuckin' found him.
When's the last time
that you saw him?
I don't know, couple days ago.
Yeah, but his credit card
was charged today.
Card's on file.
We keep charging till they check out.
Oh.
Fuckin' same way Netflix gets you.
Could you give us a minute?
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- He's probably out gettin' beer.
- How d'you know?
There ain't no beer in here.
The manager said
they haven't seen him in a couple days.
He's hiding from Nick.
If Rooster don't wanna be found, he ain't
gonna be found. He's like a ninja.
He could be hidin' behind this curtain.
Huh. He's not.
How awesome would it have been if he was.
Yeah, whatever. He'll be back soon.
So, what, we're just gonna wait for him?
Why wouldn't we wait?
Yeah, you're right.
Of course, we'll wait for him.
If we're staying,
I'm gonna hit up the vending machine,
get us some redneck room service.
Oh, see if you can see one dangling.
That way you get two.
I know how to get doubles
from the vending machine, Colt.
Arh!
Look at this picture of Rooster.
That smile.
That was the day he lost his first tooth.
Yeah.
Colt heard the Tooth Fairy'd put money
under your pillow
so he knocked out one of Rooster's
front teeth with a...
hammer.
You were pissed
they got blood on the hammer
so you put a note
under Rooster's pillow that said,
"Money went to cleaning expenses."
Remember how losin' that tooth
gave Rooster a little "lithp."
It was hard not to laugh when he was
running around the house,
and going, "Colt'th an ath-hole."
Look.
This is when we brought him home
from the hospital.
He's so small.
Fuck.
I wish there was somethin'
I could say, Mags.
I just remember...
in a thunderstorm,
how he'd get into bed with us
and stick his little toes
under my leg, y'know, just to...
make sure I was still there.
Yeah.
This isn't supposed to happen.
You're not supposed
to outlive your children.
Beau, what are we gonna do?
I don't know.
I honestly don't know.
Yeah, well...
I'm lost, so...
- Hey, Mary.
- Hey, Maggie.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
Hey, Beau.
Hey, Mary.
Good to see you.
You, too.
There a steak in that bag?
I think I smell steak.
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought you guys might be hungry.
I'm sure Charlene brought
one of her special casseroles.
- She did.
- Yeah.
Only thing worse are her gluten-free,
sugar-free Christmas cookies.
My dog won't even eat one of those
and he literally eats cat shit.
How you guys doin'?
Best we can.
It's tough.
Yeah.
Erm...
So I've been, er...
I've been thinking about everything
and I just wanna say...
I'm... so sorry.
We all are.
No.
No, Colt was right.
If I hadn't let Nick back into my life...
he and Rooster
never woulda had a problem
and none of this
ever woulda happened.
I am so sorry.
Listen, Mary...
it's not your fault.
It was an accident.
We've been playin' that game all day.
I'm the one
that taught Rooster how to ride.
Well, hell, I'm the one
who loaned him the money for the bike.
There's nothin' anybody coulda done.
I'm just so
upside down, y'know?
I just keep expecting him to walk
through that door with a six-pack
and that fake country music award
he used to...
carry around to pick up chicks.
Yeah.
Hey, I keep listening
to his last voicemail.
It's kinda comforting to hear his voice.
Even if he is asking how far after the
expiration date you can still drink milk.
Fuckin' knucklehead.
God, I miss him.
Me, too.
Yeah, we all do.
Something I can do for you, son?
Mornin'. I have news about Rooster.
Oh, hey, you're up.
Good.
Got you a decaf...
from the lobby.
There was also some donuts there,
but there was a big can
of OFF! right next to 'em, so...
I just spoke to your dad.
What the hell'd he want?
Sit down.
Erm...
Well, the, erm...
The police came by.
And they're calling off
the search for Rooster.
Why?
Apparently...
they found his wallet...
and some clothing
and there was blood on it...
about a half-mile
down the river.
Sorry.
Okay.
So?
So?
Now they're switching it from search
and rescue to search and recovery.
Who cares?
They weren't gonna find him, anyway.
Just goes to show how far he went to
make this whole disappearance look real.
- Colt, come on.
- I'm serious.
Okay.
You know this room is a part of it.
Right?
I figured it out last night. I was...
If Rooster's in hiding, right,
why would he use his credit card
to stay here?
It's too easy to track.
I figured it out and I'm a fuckin' idiot.
Then why is all his stuff here?
It's a decoy room.
Babe, all this stuff, this is decoy stuff.
Throw Nick off his trail.
Look at this stuff.
He wouldn't pack any of this...
Fuckin' jean shorts?
A collared shirt?
A book?!
Colt.
No one wants to see Rooster again
more than I do, okay?
I wanna see him walk through that door
and say, "Badass,"
and pretend that this is his baby and do
all the other stupid shit that he does,
but at some point
we are going to have to face reality.
What reality?
The fact that he might
not be coming back at all!
He's out there.
I want to believe that, too.
Then believe it!
During the fire, when you were lost,
and the police told me I wasn't allowed
to go look for you, that didn't stop me.
- This is different.
- No!
It's not!
I knew you were alive!
And I was gonna bring you back,
and I did.
And with or without your help,
I'm bringin' Rooster back, too.
- Colt...
- Let's go.
Colt...
Oh, Jesus.
Hey, Colt.
Mom.
Hi.
Hey.
I thought you were gonna come in the house
when you dropped Abby off.
I didn't wanna get into it with Dad again.
You change your hair?
No, just Aunt Karen started chemo,
and you know that whole
"shave your head for solidarity."
Well, she wasn't a very good sister,
so I got highlights.
Looks great.
Hey, erm...
I just... Sorry you had to come
all the way back for no reason.
You're sorry?
Of course, when I heard, I'd be here.
Well, maybe now you can
help me find him, huh?
Look...
You probably don't wanna hear this, but...
your father and I
have put together a little something
this Saturday for Rooster.
You're havin' a funeral?
No, no.
We're gonna have a celebration
of his life.
A celebration of his life?
Yeah.
I'll have a fuckin' funeral
when there's a body to bury.
Colt...
finding a body or not...
he's gone.
Jesus Christ.
Is that what you came here to say?
I mean, everyone in this family just
can't wait to fuckin' forget about him.
You think I don't want him alive
as much as you do?
You don't think I wouldn't give
the world to have him back?
But it's not going to happen.
How do you say that?
Because...
yesterday was my birthday.
And every year, without fail,
Rooster calls to sing
"Happy Birthday" to me.
I mean, usually drunk,
sometimes from jail,
once with Chumlee from Pawn Stars,
but he never doesn't call,
until yesterday.
Mom... Mom.
Mom...
he couldn't call you...
because he's hiding.
He doesn't want anyone
to know where he is.
Okay, that is not what's happening here.
Mom...
I promise you...
you are going to see Rooster...
Okay, stop it. Just stop it, Colt!
Stop it, because every time you say that,
it breaks my heart.
Because I get some hope, y'know,
that he's gonna come
walking through the door, and he's not.
You have to start to accept this
or we're gonna lose
our fuckin' minds, just stop!
Don't!
You know what?
You just got married, right?
You have a baby on the way.
They need you.
I need you.
- Please, let him go.
- No.
- He can't be gone!
- I'm sorry.
No!
I've been away for 15 years!
And things are just goin' right!
We got the ranch!
He's gonna be an uncle, and you're
telling me I'm never gonna see him again?
No, I'm sorry that...
My brother cannot be dead!
I'm so sorry, baby.
Rooster was wise beyond his years.
Did you know that
if you're going over 90 on the toll road
they can't take a picture of your plates?
Well, Rooster did.
But the best advice he ever gave me was...
whatever you do,
don't date my dad.
Even though it was such a short time,
I'm glad I got to know him.
I miss Rooster so much.
Watching The Bachelor with him,
eating fried chicken...
The stupid "breast" and "thighs" jokes
he made every single time.
And, y'know,
sure he wore "Got MILF" t-shirts and...
he used peach schnapps for mouthwash.
But he...
He was also sweet.
And vulnerable.
And... really kind.
Jameson was our first born.
And he...
Well, the relationship that we had...
I know God has some plan. I...
just think it's really hard to know
what that is right now.
Maybe he just wanted somebody up there
to make him laugh, right?
I'm sure Rooster's having a...
a beard-off with Jesus or...
...trying to convince him
to turn some water into Bud Light.
'Course things weren't always
great between us.
The last thing I said to my son was...
that I didn't need him.
And that he was an embarrassment.
Neither one of those things is true.
I love you, Rooster.
And I was always proud of you.
You were a hell of a rancher
and a better man.
You held this family together.
I don't know what we're gonna do
without you.
Colt.
I'm so sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry about.
Got this in the mail today.
Rooster must've sent it
when he found out we got the ranch.
Also got a note.
"Hey, little bro.
We fucking did it."
Shit. Sorry, God.
"Bennett Brothers' Ranch...
You made this happen. Thank you.
Nobody around to teach you how to ranch
except maybe Tony Stewart."
[congregation chuckles[
Oh...
"Seriously..."
"I love you.
If you ever tell anyone I said this,
I'll kick your ass."
Oh...
Well, he also sent a...
baby gift.
Rooster wasn't just my big brother.
He was my best friend.
And, er...
...he was always afraid they...
...they weren't gonna have
Skoal in heaven, so...
I got you, big bro.
I'm glad you came to the service.
Rooster woulda wanted you there.
Yeah, he woulda.
Actually, he woulda wanted to be alive
and not have a fuckin' funeral.
I'm pretty sure wherever he is,
he's glad he got out of his bar tab.
Hey, it's great
that so many people are here.
What better way to honor Rooster
than everybody gettin' drunk
and drivin' home.
What are you doin'?
Rooster and I had a little bet,
who'd have more people at their funeral.
So, when I die
you just remember "43."
Well you got a built-in advantage 'cause
at your funeral I'm bringin' a date.
Oh, my parents are here.
Wait. Ah, fuck.
All right, "45."
I'm so sorry we missed the service.
Chuck couldn't fit into his church pants.
Well, I could afford new ones
if our Macy's card wasn't maxed out.
Anyway, Colt,
we are so sorry about your brother.
Thank you.
Hey, just out of curiosity,
y'all would come to my funeral, right?
I wouldn't miss it.
You doin' okay, Mom?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Have any more of that Aspirin?
They're Xanax.
Yeah, I was tryin' to be
discreet. Just gimme a fuckin' pill.
I'm really gonna miss Rooster.
I feel like I should go find a chick
to make out with in his honor.
Holy shit.
Is that Tanya Showers?
Last time I saw her is
when we went fishing...
Yeah, no one cares.
Hi, Tanya.
Hi.
I'm Colt... Bennett.
My brother died.
- I'm sorry.
- I'm real sad.
Oh.
Ahhhh.
So, how'd you know Rooster?
He sent me letters.
Many, many letters.
It was real nice of you...
Yeah, no one cares, Colt.
Here you go.
Hi, I'm Abby.
- God, I'm sad, too.
- Oh.
Hey, Beau.
- Jerry.
- Maggie.
Thanks for coming, Jerry.
Yeah. I'm so sorry for your loss,
which we could turn into a gain
against the Honda Corporation of America.
It's weird to be here
drinkin' without Rooster.
Hi, Tanya.
Er...
He was there the first time I got drunk,
celebrating state championship,
freshman year.
In retrospect, probably shouldn't
have done it before the game.
But, well, we won, so...
No, we lost that year.
Yeah, who remembers?
To Rooster.
To Rooster.
Hey, Heather?
What's up, Hank?
Did somethin' happen to Rooster?