The Prisoner (1967–1968): Season 1, Episode 15 - Once Upon a Time - full transcript

Number Two conducts tests on Number Six to force him to reveal why he resigned but Number Six's iron will resists and he uses psychology to turn the tables so that his interrogator ends up grovelling to him. Still refusing to answer Number Six watches as Number Two is locked in a cage after which he requests that he sees Number One.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -

(Six) Where am I?

(Two) In the village.

(Six) What do you want?

(Two) Information.

(Six) Whose side are you on?

(Two) That would be telling.

(Two) We want information...

(Two) Information...

(Two) Information.

(Six) You won't get it.

(Two) By hook or by crook...
. . .we will.

(Six) Who are you?

(Two) The new Number Two.

(Six) Who is Number One?

(Two) You are Number Six.

(Six) I am not a number.
I am a free man!

(Number Two laughs)

(Organ music)


Remove it!

I told you to remove it!

Remove that thing, too.
I'm not an inmate!

Say what you like.
You brought me back.

You use the wrong approach!

Do it my way or find somebody else.

Leave the coffee. LEAVE IT!

How many times do I have to ask?

A likely lad.

Why do you care?

Take it easy... relax.

Why do you care?

Number Six, please.

(Phone rings)

- Why do you care?
- I know your voice.

I've been here before.
Why do you care?

You'll never know.

Wait and see.


- Don't do that.
- What?

- Enquire.
- What's your number? What is it?

- Be careful!
- 1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...

- Quiet!
- 8, 9, 1 0, 1 1 ,

1 2, 1 3, 1 4, 1 5, 1 6?

Going to escape and come back.

Wipe this place off the face
of the earth, and you with it.

Is this how they
started to break you

before you gave them
what they were after?

I've resigned.
I will not be pushed, filed, stamped,

indexed, briefed,
debriefed or numbered!

I want to call
a character witness.

Degree Absolute.
I require approval.

Unlike me, you have accepted
imprisonment and will die here.

If you think he's that important...

There's no alternative.
You must risk either one of us.

I intend to discover who are
the prisoners and who the warders.

I am a good man.

I was a good man,
but he will be better.

There's no other way.
I repeat, no other way!

I will not make deals.
I've resigned.

Degree Absolute, tonight.

I will not be pushed,
filed, stamped, indexed or numbered.

A week's not long enough!
You'll damage him.

- My life is my own.
- Very well...


Degree Absolute, you're under orders.

- What period?
- One week.

- Emergency?
- It has to be.

- Mind if I check?
- You check nothing!

- Release personnel!
- First shift - early release.

Time sheets as normal.
Double night time.

Double night time.

- Blow up Channel Three.
- Channel Three.

- Check profundity!
- One, two,

three, four, five, six.

First waveband clear.

Repeat and increase!

One, two, three,

four, five, six...

Still clear.

Third waveband, slow...
and hold on five.

One... two...

three... four...


Five... Five... Five...

Five... Five...


Five... Five... Five... Five...

Five... Five...

Safe enough.

- I'll take over.
- A risk. I'd hate to see you go.

It's all yours for one week.
Degree Absolute... OPERATE!

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...

All the king's horses
and all the king's men

Couldn't put
Humpty together again





Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men

He marched them
up to the top of the hill

And he marched them
down again

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the king's horses
and all the king's men

Couldn't put Humpty
together again.

Want to go walkies?

Wash and dress quickly -
I'll show you some nice things.


This is it.

For better or worse, who knows?

One teeny-weeny week, my boy.

Neither of us can leave.

Till death do us part -
and I brought it on myself.

Who knows?

Come ahead, son. Let's see
what's in that noddle of yours.

"All the world's a stage, and all
the men and women merely players.

They have their exits
and their entrances.

And one man in his time
plays many parts...

His acts being seven ages."

(Piercing whine)

William Shakespeare.

He summed it all up... so they say.

"At first the infant, mewling and
puking in the nurse's arms."

Be still!

Even as a child, there's something
in your brain that's a puzzlement.

I intend to discover it.

A - Find missing link.

When I have found it, I will refine
it and YOU will play our game.

B - Put it together.

If I fail, then...

I'm your father.

Do I say anything that makes
you want to hate me?

We're going for a walk, aren't we?

Into the park, isn't it?

I always speak well of your mother,
don't I?

(Sounds of playground)

Seesaw Margery Daw

Jacky shall have a new master

- Seesaw.
- Margery Daw.

- Jacky...
- Shall have...

- ...a new master.
- A new master.

- Master.
- Jacky.

- Master! Master!
- Jacky! Jacky!

- Master! Master!
- Mother! Father!



Brother... Brother... Brother?

- Friends.
- Friends...

- Push.
- Friends.

Friends... Push.

- Push.
- School.

- School.
- School.

Creeping... like snails...

(Dance music)

Unwillingly... to school...

School... School...

School... School... School...

Report to my study
in the morning break.

(Plays organ)

(Knock on door)

Come in!

- Take off your hat in my presence.
- Sorry, sir.

- You were talking in class.
- No, sir.

- You refuse to admit it.
- I wasn't.

- You know who was?
- Yes, sir.

Who was it?

It's nine days since the incident,
you've been here every morning

and still refuse to co-operate.

Today is your last chance!

- It wasn't you?
- No.

- You know who it was?
- Yes.

Who was it?

- That is cowardice!
- That's honour.

- We don't discuss that.
- You should teach it.

- You're a fool!
- Yes, sir. Not a rat.

- Rat?
- Rat.

- I'M A RAT?
- No, sir. I'm a fool, not a rat.

- Society...
- Yes, sir?

Society is a place
where people exist together.

- Yes, sir.
- That is civilisation.

The lone wolf belongs
to the wilderness.

- Yes, sir.
- You must not be a lone wolf!

- No, sir.
- You must conform!

- Yes, sir.
- It is my duty to see that you do!

Yes, sir.

You will take six.

- Six?
- Of the best.

- I'm not guilty, sir.
- 1 0!

- 1 2.
- What?

1 2, sir... so that I can remember.


And so we come to another
graduation day.

A joyous moment for any boy.
Especially for our prize pupil.

As we launch him
into the rapids of adulthood,

we look back at the ups and downs
of his childhood,

and view with some satisfaction

the fine specimen
you see before you now.

- Have you anything to say?
- Nothing, sir.

Nothing? Nothing at all?

Thank you for everything, sir.

Congratulations, my boy!

You will do well.
We are proud of you.

Proud that you have learnt to manage
your rebellious spirit

and that your obedience is absolute.

- Why did you resign?
- What's that, sir?

Oh, come along, boy!

Why did you resign?

From what, sir?

Now, my boy, you know perfectly well
what I'm talking about.

- Why did you resign?
- I can't tell you.

- Was it secret...
- Secret, sir?

- And confidential?
- No, sir.

- Top secret?
- No, sir.

- Top secret!
- State secret.

- Yes!
- State secret, sir.



All right, boy. Leave school, boy.

Just tell me... No more school.

- NO!

(Number Six) STATE... STATE...


I'm beginning to like him.

(Number Two)
A, B, C, D, E... Say them.

One, two, three, four, five.

- (Number Two) Six, six, six...
- (Number Six) Five, five, five...

- Six! Six!
- Five! Five!

- Six of one... six of one...
- Five... five... five...

- Six of one, six of one...
- Five, five, five...

Six of one,
half a dozen of the other!

- Pop goes the weasel.
- Pop!

- Pop... pop
- Pop... pop, pop.

- Pop, pop!
- Pop, pop!

- Pop protect!
- Protect?

Protect pop. Pop protect!

(Number Two) Protect other people.
People's own protection.

- Protect other pop...
- Protect other people! Why? Why?


- Why? WHY?
- Pop, Pop, pop goes the weasel.

- Half a pound of tuppenny rice

Pop goes the weasel...
Half a pound of pop, pop, pop.

- Why, pop? Why, pop?
- Pop? Pop? Pop?

- WHY?
- Pop...

- Pop.
- Pop.

Not too much swing.
Keep down, keep it short!

Again! Again! Again!

(Crowd noise)

Good boy. Hit me!

- Like this?
- Too much swing, boy.

Swings are for kids, boy.

Hit me with your right, boy. Hit me!

Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook! Hook!

Good! That's it, boy!
Keep your left up or I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, boy. Hit me! Hit me!


Take it easy! You're the champ, boy!
I made you.

You're the champ, boy.
The champ!


Pop... Pop...

Pop goes the weasel.

That's it, boy. Tell me, boy.

Tell me, boy,
why... did... you... resign, boy?

Tell me, son.

You're the champ, boy.

The champ!

Tell me! Boy...

Tell me, son,

Why... did... you... resign, boy?

That's my boy! That's my boy!

Touché! Light and easy.
No muscle, just finesse.

Good. Nice and easy.

Good, but you ran. Mustn't run,
young man. Don't hit and run.

Don't treat it as a game, young man.

The champ!

Kill, kill, kill!

Now... KILL!

Afraid to prove you're a man?

Your resignation was
cowardice, wasn't it?



You can do it all, boy.
You're a one-man band.

You won't step over the threshold,
because you're scared. Go on, kill.


You missed, boy.

You still can't do it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

Sorry? You're sorry for everybody.

Is that why you resigned?

I like it here. Always use it
for interviews. Nice and quiet.

I'm considerably impressed.

Naturally, I shall have to
discuss with my directors,

but you seem admirably suited.

Just bring matters up to date -
why, exactly, do you want this job?

It's a job?

You have no respect for tradition,
for an established firm of bankers.

- I was good at mathematics.
- So were we all.

I mean I can work. I don't care.

- Why?
- It's the way I'm made.

Oh, excellent!

- Are you ready? Come on, come on.
- Ready for what?

Hurry up! Hurry up! You are
to meet our managing director.


(Number Two) It's approved
and passed into the minutes.

- Yes, sir, I'd like a job.
- You have it.

Thank you.

Just a minute!

Close the door.

Come here...

Come here.

Come here...

Just, um... just one slight matter.


We've been watching you.

- Have you?
- Yeah, you're just right.

- Right for here?
- Of course.

You don't expect your talents
would be wasted?

- Never.
- Never. No, you're with us.

- Till death do us part.
- Exactly.

- This is a cover.
- Exactly.


Shh... Secret.


- This IS a cover.
- For secret...

Secret work.

Top secret... confidential job.

Thank you.

(Sound of heavy traffic)

(Police siren)

I'm very good. I'm no angel,
but I'm good at mathematics.

- Two and two?
- Four.

- Congratulations.
- Ask the bank manager.

- The manager?
- He knows I'm good at figures.

- How many dead?
- What?

- You were driving at great speed.
- Yes, but nobody was hurt.

In a restricted zone?

- Well, I had to.
- Had to?

- I have the reason.
- Good, good. Tell me the reason.

I was on a mission,
a matter of life or death.

- Whose life or death?
- I'm not allowed to say.

- Why?
- Secret business.

- State confidential.
- Of the highest order.

- Yes!
- International, state secret...

- Yes, indeed!
- Tell me.

- Can't.
- Can't?

Such... bus... business... above the law.
- Above the law?

- Yes!
- Tell me!

- Never!
- You're guilty...

...of speeding on a public highway,
no excuses.

Ask the manager.

Alternating even numbers... Test.

- Test?
- Alternating even numbers. Go!

- Two, four...
- Two. Two, four...

- Four...
- Six!

Two... two... four...


Two... Two... four... FIVE!

- Six! SIX!

Two. Four. Six.

Five. That's me.

Two, four, six - that's you.
Six! You are six!

Alternating numbers.
Four, six, eight...

- Guilty.
- Murder on the public highways.

Thinks he knows it all. Too fast.

Why risk the murder of an innocent
human being by speeding?

I'm good at figures.

(Number Two) Don't you like it?

I'll work any hours of the day.

Fine - 20 units.

- I appeal.
- What?

- I appeal.
- Not allowed.

- I can't pay.
- 20 units?

- I can't pay.
- Nothing?

- Units aren't for me.
- You're a member of The Village!

- NO!
- You are a unit...

- NO!
- ...of society.

- Contempt...
- No...

Contempt of court.

I accept the ruling. I killed.

- Six days in jail.
- I was rebelling.

I was rebelling against the figures,
my lord. I was rebelling, my lord...

- Six days. Take him away.
- I appeal, my lord.

Six days!

You're getting the same treatment
as everybody else.

That's why I'm going to appeal.
I appeal against unfair treatment.

Why? Why? Why did I resign?

(Rambles madly)

Why did you resign?

- For peace.
- For peace?

Let me out.

- You resigned for peace?
- Let me out.

You're a fool.

- For peace of mind.
- What?

- Peace of mind!
- Why?

Too many people know too much.

- Never.
- I know too much!

- Tell me.
- I know too much about you.

- You don't.
- I do.

- I know you.
- Who am I?

- You are an enemy.
- I'm on your side.

- Why did you resign?
- You've been told.

- Tell me again.
- I know you!

- You're smart.
- In my mind...

In my mind, YOU're smart!

- Why did you resign?
- You see?

- Why did you resign?
- Know who you are? A fool.

- No, don't...
- Yes! An idiot!

- I'll kill you.
- I'll die.

You're dead.

- Let me out.
- Dead!

Kill me.

- Open it.



- Kill! Kill!
- Get up.

Kill me... lying down.

- Get up, you fool.
- Can't.

- In the war, you killed.
- Yeah.

- For fun!
- For peace.

- Do as I say.
- I do as I was told.

(Number Two) Twelve seconds to zero.
Stand by to release. All set?


- 1 1 , 1 0, 9, 8, 7, 6...
- 1 1 , 1 0, 9, 8, 7...

- Six? Six! Six! Six! Six! Six!
- Five. Five. Five. Five! Five!


- 3, 2, 1 ...
- 3, 2, 1 ...

Zero... Zero, zero, zero, go, go, go.

Overshot, you fool, wake up!
Turn around! Let them go.

- Stand by.
- Standing by.

Let go... now.

- Bombs gone.
- Good boy. Bull's-eye!

We're hit! Bale out! Bale out!

(Speaks German)

- (Speaks German)
- I do not wish to kill.

(Speaks German)

The aircraft was hit. I had to
BALE OUT over your territory.

If wasn't my fault!
I cannot help baling out!

(Speaks German)

I have to tell you nothing.

- (Speaks German)
- Zero... go!

- How dare you?
- GO! Go, go, go, go!

(Laughs) Zero... zero... go!

I'm a friend. Why did you resign?
I'm a friend.

- Eight, eight... six?
- Why?

- Six?
- Yeah, four.

- No...
- Two? One?

- Zero, go?
- No...

I'm hungry.

What would you like?


You knew the only way to beat me
was to gain my respect?

- Correct.
- Then I would confide?

I hoped you'd trust me.

- This is a recognised method?
- Yes.

The patient must trust his doctor.

Sometimes they change places.

Essential in extreme cases.

- Also a risk...
- A grave risk.

...if the doctor has problems.
- I have!

That's why
it's known as Degree Absolute.

- It's you or me.
- Why don't you resign?

(Laughs) You're very good!

You're very good at it!


(Sad organ)

- Play something cheerful.
- I'd like to know more.

You will, before we're through.

Join me.

- There we are.
- Straight?

1 00%.

No additions?

- My word of honour.
- Cheers.

Mind if I, er... look round?

Not at all! Let me show you round!

This delightful residence
is known as the embryo room.

In it... you can relive...
from the cradle... to the grave.

Seven ages of man -
William Shakespeare.

"Last scene of all,

That ends this
strange eventful history,

Is second childishness
and mere oblivion..."

"Sans eyes, sans teeth,
sans taste, sans everything."

There's no way out
until our time is up.

If we solve our problems,
that will be soon.

Take my word for it.

Naturally, I would.

Let me show you... to the door!

We are protected from intrusion.
No one can interrupt us.

Totally encased in finest steel.

Behold the clock!


Set to open on a new phase
of our relationship...

That is, if we're still here.

- Are we likely to move?
- It's possible!

Somewhere nice?

- Built-in bars.
- Also self-contained.

Kitchen, bathroom, air conditioning,
food supplies for six months.

You could go anywhere in it.
It has a waste disposal unit.

- It moves?
- It's detachable.

- What's behind it?
- Steel, steel.

(Laughs madly)

- He thinks you're boss, now!
- I am.

I'm Number Two.
I'm the boss... Open the door.

- Number One is the boss.
- NO!

- Three minutes. You're scared.
- No!

- Take it.
- FOOL! (Kicks door)

Yes, a fool... not a rat.

- YOU're scared!
- Want me to come in?

- Keep out!
- Let you out?

- Stay...
- Want to come out?

- Keep out!
- You're mine.

- Two minutes...

- Stop him!
- Two minutes.

- You're free.
- No, I'm Number Two.

- You are number nothing.
- I'm Number Two!

One minute, thirty-five seconds.

- Why did you resign?
- I didn't accept. Why did you?

You resigned.
You accepted before you resigned!

- I rejected... you!
- Why me?

- You're big.
- Not tall.

- Humpty dumpty...
- All the king's horses...

- All the king's MEN...
- Yes.

...couldn't put Humpty together again.

Who? What?

One minute to go...

59 seconds...

- 58 seconds.
- I'm big!

57, 56, 55, 54, 53...

- You're for me.
- 52, 51 ...

50, 49, 48,

- Why?
- 47, 46...

- Why resign? Tell me!
- 45, 44...

- Trust me.
- 43, 42, 41 ...

- 40, 39, 38, 37...
- I'll tell.

- Still time!
- 36...


- 35.
- Still time!

- Not too late!
- For me?

- For me!
- You snivel and grovel.

- I ask.
- You crawl.

- Yes.
- To ask?


Ask on.

Ask yourself!

- Why? Why?
- 1 5.


Don't say please.

- I say it!
- Don't.

Please, I plead!

- Nine.
- Too late.

- Eight.
- Seven.

- Six.
- Six...

- Die, six!
- Five... (Fast heartbeat)

- Die. Die!
- Four...

- Die. Die.
- Three...

- Die!
- Two...

- Die!
- One...

- Die! Die!
- The end...

(Heartbeat stops)


We'll need the body for evidence.

What do you desire?

- Number One.
- I'll take you.

("Twinkle, Twinkle,
Little Star" plays)