The Politician's Husband (2013): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
The marriage is put under pressure when Dita tells the newspapers that she had sex with Aiden and Noah lashes out at school in reaction to the news. Nonetheless Freya puts up a united front with her husband and spurns Babbish's advances when they are working late together. Aiden however is suspicious and concocts a plan which will make it seem as if both are taking bribes though only Babbish is tarnished by it and has to resign. Freya is angry that Aiden could have thought so little of her and,having supported him after his father's death,asks him to leave the house. Six months later after a coup and a cabinet reshuffles the couple move into 10,Downing Street as prime minister and deputy though the press speculates on whether their reconciliation is genuine or for the sake of their public image.
You hurt me. We all do things we're
not proud of. No more waiting
in the wings.
Can I get copied in to Freya's diary?
My diary is confidential, Lian.
I naively assumed we'd be sharing the
office, not that I'd be in the shed.
This Twitter thing. It's,
it's not Aiden's handiwork, is it?
He'd never stoop that low.
Has he joined in at all?
He's very withdrawn of late.
Dita! I'm flattered,
but it's not happening, OK?
About to do a piece on your better
half. Quite a show she put on back
there. I saw them together.
Thick as bloody thieves. It's that
look you get whenever I mention
his name.
I wish to God I knew where your
damn head was these days.
I'm through it now, Freya.
The feud with Bruce. All of it.
I'm done with it.
Golly. Twice last night
and again this morning.
I hope that's not a guilty
conscience?
When a man has a sudden
libido surge,
don't they say it's to prevent his
wife from twigging his infidelity?
Do you mind if I jump in first?
Go for it.
Thanks for coming.
Hi. Ruby hasn't been picked
up from school.
Well, Dita never showed to
collect her!
Dita?
Can I watch some TV?
Yeah, ten minutes and then tea.
Dita!
Dita! Me again. Same message.
Just call, OK?
You owe us that much.
Noah, tea's up.
Eat, both of you.
Hello?
She's our au pair, yes... Or was.
Sorry, who is this?
It's gone over the line!
Hold on! It's over the line!!
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK,
OK, OK, OK, look!
Right. Fine.
All right? OK.
Say that again.
When did you send it?
Yeah, OK, I have it.
Just give me a...
Yeah, OK.
OK, well, thanks, anyway. Bye. Bye.
An injunction's useless. They'll
just put the story on Facebook
Or Twitter. We're still screwed.
It's the old tabloid trick, isn't it?
Tempt her with a wad of dosh
to dish the dirt.
Mummy! Dita's run away!
She's taken all her stuff!
All right, sweetie. What are you
watching? Come on, let's...
Sit down. I'll come and see
you in a few minutes, all right?
'Now you are an
inventor...'
When the cupboard's bare
they conjure up this risible shite.
The sun, it seems, still rises.
Oh, don't say it. Tell... tell me
you're not actually buying it?
I never touched her!
Freya! I never looked at her.
I never came on to her.
Not in thought, not in deed!
Good God, you really think I would
shit on my own doorstep like that?
But you would elsewhere? Oh...
Then why would
she claim such a thing, Aiden?
Why would she do that to you? To us?
The other day, I was in the bath.
She walks in.
Trust me, it was an offer
I had no trouble refusing.
This is payback.
And telling me
about it just slipped your mind?
I was afraid you'd fire her,
we'd be up shit creek!
I thought I'd put her straight.
I'd dealt with it.
That went well.
The only thing you can
lay at my door is naivety, Freya!
I underestimated what a...
vindictive, mendacious cow she is!
Dear God! That you can even begin to
think that I could be capable...
What sort of marriage is this?
What are we doing?
Don't say that. Why, does not
saying it make it less true?
These last few weeks, it's as if...
we're flying blind.
We keep losing sight of each other.
I know you feel it, too. I know it.
We're still good, aren't we, Aiden?
Of course we're good.
Don't even go there.
'Next, the Guardian - "Golden couple
tarnished by affair with nanny".
'The Times gets in on the act -
"Au Pair quits job over Hoynes'
alleged sex antics".
'The Sun - "Hoynes is a sex pest
says nanny".
'The Daily Express - "Nanny alleges
Aiden Hoynes is sex addict".
'And the Star goes in hard - "Did
Hoynes get it on with nanny?"'
'Did the Prime Minister's
moratorium on immigration...'
It'll be fine.
I know you've come a long way.
Let's make this brief,
so you can decamp,
we can all get on with our day.
Let me say this.
The accusations that
Dita Kowalski has made
against my husband
are without foundation.
18 months ago we welcomed
her into our home as our nanny.
Has she gone back to Poland?
We welcomed her into our home
and yet in all that time she has
never once raised the issue of
my husband's alleged inappropriate
behaviour, not with me,
not with the agency who recruited
her, or with any of her friends.
'Dita's actions are a gross
violation
'of the trust we showed her.
I am sure
'SHE will come to deeply regret
the injustice she has done to us
'and in that sense...
'she is as much of a victim of her
actions as we are.'
'Aiden Hoynes and Freya Gardner...'
Kiss at the garden gate routine,
always a winner.
Might take more than a kiss
to win her over.
Morning, everyone.
My office. Two minutes,
carers' allowance briefing.
Aiden! Thanks for this.
I thought it less formal
if we met here.
If less private. I hope it goes
without saying, Marcus,
these absurd allegations have
absolutely no basis.
Good God, yes. Totally.
My lawyer is demanding a full
retraction or we'll slap a libel suit
on her.
He's confident we'll get a result.
Excellent. Job done, then.
Extraordinary thing for her to
assert, though. Out of the blue.
It seems she had
something of a crush on me.
Lordy!
You were wise not to share that
with our feral friends in the press.
Less meat on the bone,
the less they have to chew on.
A statement of support from the PM
would square the circle, Marcus.
Or am I still on the naughty step?
For Freya's sake, not mine.
She's barely got her feet under
the cabinet table, has she?
That's a brutal baptism for anyone.
We've the Party Funding
debate coming up.
If I told him you were prepared to
champion his position on it,
coming from you,
his staunchest critic,
it could turn the tide for him.
I can guarantee in advance he'd be
more than appreciative of such
a gesture.
Don't worry about Freya.
She's tougher than you think.
Everyone knows your marriage
is bullet-proof.
Marcus?
You and Bruce,
I know you're close.
I know how loyal you've been to him
over the years.
I respect that, I do. God knows...
God knows we could do with a bit
more of that in this place.
But... he and I were that
way once too.
Best friends from university, best
man at each other's weddings,
godfather to my children.
You don't get closer than that.
I still got royally shafted,
didn't I?
In the end...
we're all sacrificed
on the altar of his ambition.
We're all expendable.
No-one is exempt.
It was in the music class,
apparently.
Er, a boy had a tambourine,
Noah decided he wanted it
and when the boy refused,
Noah went ballistic -
biting, hitting, lashing out at him.
It took two of them to drag him off.
They think it was triggered
by what's been happening at home.
The business with Dita.
I hope you told them not to believe
everything they read in the papers.
Come on!
God knows what the future
holds for him.
What happens when he's a six-foot
hormonal teenager,
he kicks off like he did with
that kid today?
Well, by then he'll be more mature,
won't he? Easier to reach.
En route home from his school we
often pass a bunch of boys in the
park, kicking a ball around.
When I look at them...
Put it this way, I'm not
proud of how it makes me feel.
I just thank God
he doesn't feel it too.
Envy.
Anger.
How do you know he doesn't feel it?
When's Freya back?
Late. She has some constituents
visiting the House.
Would it help if I stay over
weeknights, give you a hand
until you're
sorted on the childcare?
Yeah.
OK.
Hi. Hi.
I've barely an hour. I've got some
councillors from the constituency in
for a tour of the House.
Er, you wanted to go through
our growth strategy proposal again?
Um, you were right,
the tax incentive figures
don't stack up. Well spotted.
Is it just us?
I thought your team would be here.
I'll debrief them later.
I chased our working
paper on the pension pilot scheme...
This tour for your constituents -
can't someone stand in for you?
I wish.
Sarah. Where are you meeting them?
St Stephen's Gate.
Freya Gardner has some constituents
due in for a tour of the House in an
hour? She's been held up.
Do the honours for her?
Keep them sweet?
You are a treasure.
You really are a piece of work.
I try, God knows.
Mm. We made progress tonight,
don't you think?
It was a ruse, to get you here.
I thought you could use a friend,
given the day you've had.
All those prurient eyes on you.
"Did he or didn't he?"
"Isn't he getting enough at home?"
And this was your idea
for cheering me up?
If for a moment I doubted Aiden,
today would have been
the purgatory you say it was. But...
..since I don't, it wasn't.
I've often wondered
how it must feel.
To have someone always onside.
Always... thinking the best of you.
Unconditionally.
It has to be earned, Bruce.
You'd never know it to
look at it, would you?
All that Gothic elegance hides
such rancid base instincts.
I include my own in that,
needless to say.
Evening, sir. 'Kenny.'
Any idea
when I might expect my wife home?
Can't help, I'm afraid.
She let me go for the night.
I dropped her
at Mr Babbish's apartment.
You could try her there.
OK, I'll do that. Thanks, bye.
'He's only human, isn't he?'
Knocking around that house every
day, alone with your nanny.
What is it they say?
The best way to rid yourself
of temptation is to yield to it?
I really don't need this, Bruce.
Say I'm right, hypothetically.
Your reputation will be on the line
right along with his, Freya.
Standing by your man is all
very commendable if you're
Mrs Joe Bloggs from Woking.
Different rules apply
if the wife is a cabinet minister.
Uber-loyalty can be seen as a lack
of judgement, of weakness.
Worse, as moral turpitude.
Why are you saying this?
Why are you doing all this?
You know why.
Been a long time coming, Freya.
What do you want from me, Bruce?
A quick fling? Or something more?
What do you think?
And what if it got out?
You're right, different rules apply.
Two cabinet ministers getting it on?
One a wife and mother
and the other an old family friend?
We'd both crash and burn.
I'll risk it if you will.
You'd really do that for me?
In a heartbeat.
I'm sorry, but...
do I really look like someone
who's just acquired an IQ
in single figures?
Nice try, Lothario.
I hope this isn't a guilty
conscience?
Diaphragm?
I binned it. I'm on the pill now.
I'll double them up for a couple
of weeks to be sure.
Don't we usually
talk about stuff like that?
What, as in asking permission?
We need to be failsafe now,
so I sorted it.
Don't make something out of nothing.
How was it with your constituents?
Tedious. I thought
they'd never leave.
Daddy! Daddy, I've got
a tummy ache!
Wait and see if she settles.
Daddy, my tummy hurts!
Daddy!
Have you remembered that
I'm in Leeds overnight?
Launching the new
apprenticeship scheme.
You OK to do the school run?
Mmm. Dad and I have got it covered.
The debate on the
Party Funding Bill's tomorrow.
You be back for it?
I'm throwing my hat in the ring.
I'll make damn sure I'm back for it.
If you want to run anything by me,
we can talk on the phone tonight?
No, I'm on top of it.
Freya?
Don't want any slip-ups, do we?
Starting to think it was a no-show.
Curiosity won the day.
A failing of mine.
Among others.
I assume it's still a favourite?
Best to keep a clear head.
I'm not eating.
Squid risotto.
Now the niceties are over.
This enmity between us, Bruce.
I want to put an end to it.
I'm not asking for myself.
But for Freya.
Your two departments have allied
responsibilities - if she's to work
effectively with you,
she has to be...
unencumbered by what happened
between us.
So the way I see it,
it's up to me...
to find a way out of our impasse.
To convince her that I'm ready to
put the past to rest, I've moved on.
But...
it has to be more than empty words.
I have to prove it to her.
An idea I came up while I was still
running Business And Skills.
Before I got sidetracked
by the damn leadership thing.
What are the two biggest problems
facing our society today?
The ticking time bomb of caring
for the elderly
and the burden on the state
supporting a 100,000 immigrants
who can't work
while their applications to
stay are processed.
So why not use one problem to
solve the other?
Many of those immigrants
are educated, intelligent people
with a cultural ethos
of respecting the elderly.
So, we put them to work...
looking after our own
elderly in their own homes.
In return, they get bonus points on
their applications to remain here.
We save millions on their benefits.
And billions on caring
for the elderly in care homes.
How do you propose
to fund such a scheme?
Outsource it to the private sector.
Everyone else is at it,
why not this?
Your Daily Mail reader's
banging on about the elderly.
Guardian reader's banging
on about the plight of immigrants.
Right and left are assuaged
in one blow.
It's a win-win deal.
Not to mention a vote-winning one.
Did you float it with any
outsource companies?
Mmmm. A new start-up one, Charlesburg
Investments, I rather fancied.
They have capital and they're hungry
for a major Government contract.
They'll do whatever it
takes to win it.
Is that it?
Only I have a two o'clock.
No matter what our history, Bruce,
I know that your respect
and affection for Freya
means you'll do
the right thing by her.
God knows she deserves it.
Excuse me a second.
We have a green light. Go for it.
Again, come on! That's it.
Right, this is going to be good.
Again, again to me!
Oh. Hi, Dad!
Come on! Oh, well done.
And he scores! Yes!
If you can't beat 'em...
Come on!
Kick it to Ruby, go on!
That's it, back up,
take a run at it.
Go on, Noah! Do what Daddy says.
That's it! Good boy.
Come on.
Come on, Noah, kick it!
It's OK.
Come on, to me, to me, to me, to me,
to me... Ready, ready! Go!
Go on, hit it!
Oh, Dad! Grandpa!
Oh! Grandpa?
I had you fooled, and you thought...
But I wasn't, I was just pretending!
I was only pretending!
It's all right, it's a joke,
he's fine!
He was pretending,
to make us laugh.
OK?
Come on. Come on, Noah!
Dynamite stuff, eh?
A new spin on blue-sky thinking,
I'll say that.
You certainly kept a lid on it.
I needed time to road-test
it before going public.
And this outsource company?
New outfit. About to check them out.
The water is already lapping round
the PM's ankles, Marcus.
His personal rating's flatlining.
One last push and the party will
make him walk the plank.
You'll have to take the Home office
with you, and Health and DWP.
Well, that's the beauty of it.
Everyone's going on about how the
government is too departmentalized,
stuck in their own silos.
This is a narrative for a whole
Government.
It's the ultimate holistic
test of joined-up policy.
What better entry card to Number 10
than a bold, innovative idea
like this one to remind them what
courageous leadership is all about?
Are you not coming
to the funding debate?
No time for that crap today.
Too much on.
Order! Order! Mr Aiden Hoynes.
Mr Speaker,
party funding is not
just a financial issue,
but a moral one.
Given the recent
allegations against me,
some might think my contribution
to this debate...
self-serving.
In fact, my Right Honourable friend
the Prime Minister
was counting on that
when he asked for my support.
I'm afraid I couldn't oblige him.
I'm not prepared to sacrifice
my principles for self-preservation.
Why should you?
But it prompted me to wonder -
how many of us in this house have
prostituted our principles
for power and self-interest?
How many times have we flouted
and ignored
our own ministerial code on ethical
standards when it suits us?
I mean, where to start, Mr Speaker?
Cash for honours.
Cash for questions.
Cash for influence.
Dodgy dossiers. Dodgy finances.
Toxic pacts with the press
and the big daddy of them all -
the expenses scandal.
Yes! Hear, hear!
Those are just the headliners.
Is it any wonder the public is not
just disengaged by politicians,
but DISGUSTED by us?
Contemptuous of us?
They see laws passed by MPs
without proper scrutiny,
whipped into submission to
toe the party line.
They see a political system
relying on commercial
and partisan interests
for its funding.
A system corrupted
by lobbying and cronyism,
which has tainted the integrity
of all of us in this chamber.
If you lie down with dogs,
you get fleas, Mr Speaker,
and we are infested with them!
Order! And what are fleas
but parasites by another name?
Perhaps it's time to remind
ourselves of the meaning
of the Greek word "ethics".
Bruce Babbish.
We cannot let the issue of reforming
our party funding system
join the litany of our other
broken promises.
We said we would get rid of
Punch & Judy politics in parliament.
We haven't. We said we would rid
parliament of sleaze. We didn't.
We said we would be open
and transparent in our dealings.
We're not.
If the promises
we make mean nothing,
if the rights of citizens
are trampled on by a government
to suit its own ends,
and if those they've elected do not
hold the government to account,
the people will do it themselves...
LOUD CLAMOURING
..if not by taking to the streets,
by shunning the ballot box.
It isn't just us
who will pay the price for that...
..but democracy itself.
Hear! Hear! Hear!
I have to say, I'm beginning
to feel redundant.
You patently don't need me
to write your speeches any more.
That's another fan?
Mmmm, Sean Bartlett, no less.
Blimey,
he doesn't dish out praise lightly.
That's most of the Front Bench
you've corralled now.
Not to mention the home front.
So absurdly proud...
Ditto.
'Aiden Hoynes has garnered
praise from an increasing number
'of prominent and back bench
cross-party MPs after
'his dramatic speech
during the Party Funding debate
in the Commons today.
'The speech not only resonated
strongly with MPs,
'but has prompted many political
commentators to wonder
'if this provocative tirade
against what Hoynes described as
'"the litany of broken promises"
could be the beginning...'
'..of an historic movement
to renew confidence
in the parliamentary system.'
Hello?
I hope you're sitting comfortably.
'Can you talk?' Go for it.
They're running it tomorrow,
to ride on the back
of your speech in the House.
The footage is on their website now.
'I need to bring other
departments along with me on it.
'Not least Freya Gardner
at Work And Pensions -
we're nowhere without her.
'And as a new start-up company,
I'd be taking quite a risk on you.'
'The bigger the risk,
the bigger the pay-off, as they say.'
'I assume we're
talking about the same thing?'
'We're not talking about
bank rolling the decor
'in your private office, Minister.'
'We'd be looking at showing
our appreciation
in a more tangible way.'
'I sense this is the start of a most
fruitful relationship.'
The utter mind-blowing
avarice of it!
It's his fatal flaw. Always was.
Hello?
'Resignation today of the
Business Secretary, Bruce Babbish.
'After being secretly filmed by two
undercover reporters posing...'
'..as outsource company executives
where he allegedly accepted
'a bribe in return for granting them
a major government contract.
'In other news, the national...'
'Let me say this.
'I had no knowledge whatsoever of
any Government contract
'involving immigrants
looking after the elderly.'
'I was never approached by
the Business Secretary at any time,
'either formally or informally.
'Had he made such an approach,
I would never have countenanced
'supporting such a venture,
much less have agreed to
'action it. That's it, thank you.'
Well, just to change the whole
system...
Well, how very cosy.
Post mortem, is it?
I come to bury Caesar,
not to praise him?
I mean, full bloody
marks for ingenuity, mate.
It was up there in the stratosphere.
What was it again?
"Political fortunes
are made on bold ideas?"
Oh, and just
so you know - clean sweep.
Next stop, criminal charges and
deselection! Bonus, eh?
This is unwise, Bruce.
There she is! Come join us!
The Golden Couple, ladies and gents!
Bruce, that's enough! So tell me.
Was it his idea, or yours?
His Damascus conversion?
The... the... the "big idea"
he spun me?
All that pillow talk planning it,
perfecting it to reel me in.
God, what a turn-on that must have
been, eh? OK, I said, enough now.
I'll just bet it made you wet,
just thinking about it, eh?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
OK, OK!
Aargghh!
Get off!
Get him out!
Get off me! Come on!
As you were, show's over.
Well, over the years I've seen
some pretty unseemly displays
in this place, but I have to
say that takes pole position.
♪ Get out, quack, quack, get out
Quack, quack, get out of town... ♪
'In your office.'
It wasn't enough he fucked me over,
I was supposed to stand by
while he fucked my wife too?
I don't think so.
What was it? Proximity?
Lust?
A quick shag
waiting for the division bell?
I thought as much.
I'm not going to dignify this
with a response.
Do you remember how I used to joke
what a crap liar you were?
I stand corrected.
You have got it
mastered on an industrial scale!
I mean, where to start?
Well, what about the last one -
the other night
with your constituents?
In his apartment the whole
damn evening!
We were working!
So why did you lie?
To avoid this exact
conversation that we are having now!
It was only ever in your head,
Aiden.
All of it! Dress it up how you like.
I am not the reason that you did
this, I am just the excuse.
Well, I'm sorry, turning the other
cheek didn't do it for me, so...
So what was I, then?
Collateral damage?
You could've taken me down with him!
Oh, God.
Oh, dear God.
That's it.
That's what you wanted, isn't it?
There's only ever been
room for you at the top table.
Didn't I pay my dues
all those years?
Supporting you,
as your cheer leader.
What about the one time
I counted on it, Freya?
When the world and his wife was
watching in Westminster?
How hard would it have been?
One little word?
"Do you support your husband?"
And so I had to be punished.
All your fine words
yesterday in the House about ethics.
Oh, everyone says one
thing in the House and does another,
that's the rules of engagement.
Well, that's your rules, not mine.
I just wanted things to go back
to how they were.
When we were happy.
Is this it for us?
Is that what we're looking at here?
Love without respect.
Is that even possible?
You don't just... you don't
just stop loving someone, Freya.
It doesn't work like that.
I can give it my best shot.
No good comes of listening
at keyholes, as you used to say.
Yes.
He had to be stopped.
If anyone had told me
you were capable of such duplicity,
I'd have told them
they were a damn liar.
How was it up there on the moral
high ground all those years
in the glass house of academia?
You've never had to
get your hands dirty.
You have never had to sully yourself
shovelling the shit
on the front line.
You had me to do that for you!
I cannot, I WILL not, listen any
more to your self-justifying crap!
How is it you have a son who's
totally incapable of deception?
I have one...
for whom it's second bloody nature!
Go and tell Daddy you're
ready for school. He's in the shed.
Ah! Mummy!
Stay inside.
Go inside. Dad!
Go in sweetie! Dad? Dad?
Thanks for coming.
Good to see you, thank you.
Thanks for coming, Kenny,
really great to see you.
Bye. Good to see you. Thank you.
I'll take the kids away
somewhere at half term.
You can move out then.
'If a week is a long time
in politics,
'six months is positively seismic.
'First, the resignation of former
Prime Minister Duncan Craig...'
'After the Bruce Babbish sleaze
scandal, then the surprise
'leadership victory which led to
that convincing election victory...'
'Here they are, arriving together to
take up the reins of power - one as
'Prime Minister, the other as Deputy
Prime Minister and Home Secretary.'
'There have been
rumours of a marital split,
'that it's now just a marriage
of political convenience,
'but there's little sign of that
today as they prove to the party
'and the country
that they are indeed
the Golden Couple of politics.'
Thank you.
Are you ready for us,
Prime Minister?
Yes, thank you, Marcus.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
Good morning, everyone.
Let's begin, shall we?
not proud of. No more waiting
in the wings.
Can I get copied in to Freya's diary?
My diary is confidential, Lian.
I naively assumed we'd be sharing the
office, not that I'd be in the shed.
This Twitter thing. It's,
it's not Aiden's handiwork, is it?
He'd never stoop that low.
Has he joined in at all?
He's very withdrawn of late.
Dita! I'm flattered,
but it's not happening, OK?
About to do a piece on your better
half. Quite a show she put on back
there. I saw them together.
Thick as bloody thieves. It's that
look you get whenever I mention
his name.
I wish to God I knew where your
damn head was these days.
I'm through it now, Freya.
The feud with Bruce. All of it.
I'm done with it.
Golly. Twice last night
and again this morning.
I hope that's not a guilty
conscience?
When a man has a sudden
libido surge,
don't they say it's to prevent his
wife from twigging his infidelity?
Do you mind if I jump in first?
Go for it.
Thanks for coming.
Hi. Ruby hasn't been picked
up from school.
Well, Dita never showed to
collect her!
Dita?
Can I watch some TV?
Yeah, ten minutes and then tea.
Dita!
Dita! Me again. Same message.
Just call, OK?
You owe us that much.
Noah, tea's up.
Eat, both of you.
Hello?
She's our au pair, yes... Or was.
Sorry, who is this?
It's gone over the line!
Hold on! It's over the line!!
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK,
OK, OK, OK, look!
Right. Fine.
All right? OK.
Say that again.
When did you send it?
Yeah, OK, I have it.
Just give me a...
Yeah, OK.
OK, well, thanks, anyway. Bye. Bye.
An injunction's useless. They'll
just put the story on Facebook
Or Twitter. We're still screwed.
It's the old tabloid trick, isn't it?
Tempt her with a wad of dosh
to dish the dirt.
Mummy! Dita's run away!
She's taken all her stuff!
All right, sweetie. What are you
watching? Come on, let's...
Sit down. I'll come and see
you in a few minutes, all right?
'Now you are an
inventor...'
When the cupboard's bare
they conjure up this risible shite.
The sun, it seems, still rises.
Oh, don't say it. Tell... tell me
you're not actually buying it?
I never touched her!
Freya! I never looked at her.
I never came on to her.
Not in thought, not in deed!
Good God, you really think I would
shit on my own doorstep like that?
But you would elsewhere? Oh...
Then why would
she claim such a thing, Aiden?
Why would she do that to you? To us?
The other day, I was in the bath.
She walks in.
Trust me, it was an offer
I had no trouble refusing.
This is payback.
And telling me
about it just slipped your mind?
I was afraid you'd fire her,
we'd be up shit creek!
I thought I'd put her straight.
I'd dealt with it.
That went well.
The only thing you can
lay at my door is naivety, Freya!
I underestimated what a...
vindictive, mendacious cow she is!
Dear God! That you can even begin to
think that I could be capable...
What sort of marriage is this?
What are we doing?
Don't say that. Why, does not
saying it make it less true?
These last few weeks, it's as if...
we're flying blind.
We keep losing sight of each other.
I know you feel it, too. I know it.
We're still good, aren't we, Aiden?
Of course we're good.
Don't even go there.
'Next, the Guardian - "Golden couple
tarnished by affair with nanny".
'The Times gets in on the act -
"Au Pair quits job over Hoynes'
alleged sex antics".
'The Sun - "Hoynes is a sex pest
says nanny".
'The Daily Express - "Nanny alleges
Aiden Hoynes is sex addict".
'And the Star goes in hard - "Did
Hoynes get it on with nanny?"'
'Did the Prime Minister's
moratorium on immigration...'
It'll be fine.
I know you've come a long way.
Let's make this brief,
so you can decamp,
we can all get on with our day.
Let me say this.
The accusations that
Dita Kowalski has made
against my husband
are without foundation.
18 months ago we welcomed
her into our home as our nanny.
Has she gone back to Poland?
We welcomed her into our home
and yet in all that time she has
never once raised the issue of
my husband's alleged inappropriate
behaviour, not with me,
not with the agency who recruited
her, or with any of her friends.
'Dita's actions are a gross
violation
'of the trust we showed her.
I am sure
'SHE will come to deeply regret
the injustice she has done to us
'and in that sense...
'she is as much of a victim of her
actions as we are.'
'Aiden Hoynes and Freya Gardner...'
Kiss at the garden gate routine,
always a winner.
Might take more than a kiss
to win her over.
Morning, everyone.
My office. Two minutes,
carers' allowance briefing.
Aiden! Thanks for this.
I thought it less formal
if we met here.
If less private. I hope it goes
without saying, Marcus,
these absurd allegations have
absolutely no basis.
Good God, yes. Totally.
My lawyer is demanding a full
retraction or we'll slap a libel suit
on her.
He's confident we'll get a result.
Excellent. Job done, then.
Extraordinary thing for her to
assert, though. Out of the blue.
It seems she had
something of a crush on me.
Lordy!
You were wise not to share that
with our feral friends in the press.
Less meat on the bone,
the less they have to chew on.
A statement of support from the PM
would square the circle, Marcus.
Or am I still on the naughty step?
For Freya's sake, not mine.
She's barely got her feet under
the cabinet table, has she?
That's a brutal baptism for anyone.
We've the Party Funding
debate coming up.
If I told him you were prepared to
champion his position on it,
coming from you,
his staunchest critic,
it could turn the tide for him.
I can guarantee in advance he'd be
more than appreciative of such
a gesture.
Don't worry about Freya.
She's tougher than you think.
Everyone knows your marriage
is bullet-proof.
Marcus?
You and Bruce,
I know you're close.
I know how loyal you've been to him
over the years.
I respect that, I do. God knows...
God knows we could do with a bit
more of that in this place.
But... he and I were that
way once too.
Best friends from university, best
man at each other's weddings,
godfather to my children.
You don't get closer than that.
I still got royally shafted,
didn't I?
In the end...
we're all sacrificed
on the altar of his ambition.
We're all expendable.
No-one is exempt.
It was in the music class,
apparently.
Er, a boy had a tambourine,
Noah decided he wanted it
and when the boy refused,
Noah went ballistic -
biting, hitting, lashing out at him.
It took two of them to drag him off.
They think it was triggered
by what's been happening at home.
The business with Dita.
I hope you told them not to believe
everything they read in the papers.
Come on!
God knows what the future
holds for him.
What happens when he's a six-foot
hormonal teenager,
he kicks off like he did with
that kid today?
Well, by then he'll be more mature,
won't he? Easier to reach.
En route home from his school we
often pass a bunch of boys in the
park, kicking a ball around.
When I look at them...
Put it this way, I'm not
proud of how it makes me feel.
I just thank God
he doesn't feel it too.
Envy.
Anger.
How do you know he doesn't feel it?
When's Freya back?
Late. She has some constituents
visiting the House.
Would it help if I stay over
weeknights, give you a hand
until you're
sorted on the childcare?
Yeah.
OK.
Hi. Hi.
I've barely an hour. I've got some
councillors from the constituency in
for a tour of the House.
Er, you wanted to go through
our growth strategy proposal again?
Um, you were right,
the tax incentive figures
don't stack up. Well spotted.
Is it just us?
I thought your team would be here.
I'll debrief them later.
I chased our working
paper on the pension pilot scheme...
This tour for your constituents -
can't someone stand in for you?
I wish.
Sarah. Where are you meeting them?
St Stephen's Gate.
Freya Gardner has some constituents
due in for a tour of the House in an
hour? She's been held up.
Do the honours for her?
Keep them sweet?
You are a treasure.
You really are a piece of work.
I try, God knows.
Mm. We made progress tonight,
don't you think?
It was a ruse, to get you here.
I thought you could use a friend,
given the day you've had.
All those prurient eyes on you.
"Did he or didn't he?"
"Isn't he getting enough at home?"
And this was your idea
for cheering me up?
If for a moment I doubted Aiden,
today would have been
the purgatory you say it was. But...
..since I don't, it wasn't.
I've often wondered
how it must feel.
To have someone always onside.
Always... thinking the best of you.
Unconditionally.
It has to be earned, Bruce.
You'd never know it to
look at it, would you?
All that Gothic elegance hides
such rancid base instincts.
I include my own in that,
needless to say.
Evening, sir. 'Kenny.'
Any idea
when I might expect my wife home?
Can't help, I'm afraid.
She let me go for the night.
I dropped her
at Mr Babbish's apartment.
You could try her there.
OK, I'll do that. Thanks, bye.
'He's only human, isn't he?'
Knocking around that house every
day, alone with your nanny.
What is it they say?
The best way to rid yourself
of temptation is to yield to it?
I really don't need this, Bruce.
Say I'm right, hypothetically.
Your reputation will be on the line
right along with his, Freya.
Standing by your man is all
very commendable if you're
Mrs Joe Bloggs from Woking.
Different rules apply
if the wife is a cabinet minister.
Uber-loyalty can be seen as a lack
of judgement, of weakness.
Worse, as moral turpitude.
Why are you saying this?
Why are you doing all this?
You know why.
Been a long time coming, Freya.
What do you want from me, Bruce?
A quick fling? Or something more?
What do you think?
And what if it got out?
You're right, different rules apply.
Two cabinet ministers getting it on?
One a wife and mother
and the other an old family friend?
We'd both crash and burn.
I'll risk it if you will.
You'd really do that for me?
In a heartbeat.
I'm sorry, but...
do I really look like someone
who's just acquired an IQ
in single figures?
Nice try, Lothario.
I hope this isn't a guilty
conscience?
Diaphragm?
I binned it. I'm on the pill now.
I'll double them up for a couple
of weeks to be sure.
Don't we usually
talk about stuff like that?
What, as in asking permission?
We need to be failsafe now,
so I sorted it.
Don't make something out of nothing.
How was it with your constituents?
Tedious. I thought
they'd never leave.
Daddy! Daddy, I've got
a tummy ache!
Wait and see if she settles.
Daddy, my tummy hurts!
Daddy!
Have you remembered that
I'm in Leeds overnight?
Launching the new
apprenticeship scheme.
You OK to do the school run?
Mmm. Dad and I have got it covered.
The debate on the
Party Funding Bill's tomorrow.
You be back for it?
I'm throwing my hat in the ring.
I'll make damn sure I'm back for it.
If you want to run anything by me,
we can talk on the phone tonight?
No, I'm on top of it.
Freya?
Don't want any slip-ups, do we?
Starting to think it was a no-show.
Curiosity won the day.
A failing of mine.
Among others.
I assume it's still a favourite?
Best to keep a clear head.
I'm not eating.
Squid risotto.
Now the niceties are over.
This enmity between us, Bruce.
I want to put an end to it.
I'm not asking for myself.
But for Freya.
Your two departments have allied
responsibilities - if she's to work
effectively with you,
she has to be...
unencumbered by what happened
between us.
So the way I see it,
it's up to me...
to find a way out of our impasse.
To convince her that I'm ready to
put the past to rest, I've moved on.
But...
it has to be more than empty words.
I have to prove it to her.
An idea I came up while I was still
running Business And Skills.
Before I got sidetracked
by the damn leadership thing.
What are the two biggest problems
facing our society today?
The ticking time bomb of caring
for the elderly
and the burden on the state
supporting a 100,000 immigrants
who can't work
while their applications to
stay are processed.
So why not use one problem to
solve the other?
Many of those immigrants
are educated, intelligent people
with a cultural ethos
of respecting the elderly.
So, we put them to work...
looking after our own
elderly in their own homes.
In return, they get bonus points on
their applications to remain here.
We save millions on their benefits.
And billions on caring
for the elderly in care homes.
How do you propose
to fund such a scheme?
Outsource it to the private sector.
Everyone else is at it,
why not this?
Your Daily Mail reader's
banging on about the elderly.
Guardian reader's banging
on about the plight of immigrants.
Right and left are assuaged
in one blow.
It's a win-win deal.
Not to mention a vote-winning one.
Did you float it with any
outsource companies?
Mmmm. A new start-up one, Charlesburg
Investments, I rather fancied.
They have capital and they're hungry
for a major Government contract.
They'll do whatever it
takes to win it.
Is that it?
Only I have a two o'clock.
No matter what our history, Bruce,
I know that your respect
and affection for Freya
means you'll do
the right thing by her.
God knows she deserves it.
Excuse me a second.
We have a green light. Go for it.
Again, come on! That's it.
Right, this is going to be good.
Again, again to me!
Oh. Hi, Dad!
Come on! Oh, well done.
And he scores! Yes!
If you can't beat 'em...
Come on!
Kick it to Ruby, go on!
That's it, back up,
take a run at it.
Go on, Noah! Do what Daddy says.
That's it! Good boy.
Come on.
Come on, Noah, kick it!
It's OK.
Come on, to me, to me, to me, to me,
to me... Ready, ready! Go!
Go on, hit it!
Oh, Dad! Grandpa!
Oh! Grandpa?
I had you fooled, and you thought...
But I wasn't, I was just pretending!
I was only pretending!
It's all right, it's a joke,
he's fine!
He was pretending,
to make us laugh.
OK?
Come on. Come on, Noah!
Dynamite stuff, eh?
A new spin on blue-sky thinking,
I'll say that.
You certainly kept a lid on it.
I needed time to road-test
it before going public.
And this outsource company?
New outfit. About to check them out.
The water is already lapping round
the PM's ankles, Marcus.
His personal rating's flatlining.
One last push and the party will
make him walk the plank.
You'll have to take the Home office
with you, and Health and DWP.
Well, that's the beauty of it.
Everyone's going on about how the
government is too departmentalized,
stuck in their own silos.
This is a narrative for a whole
Government.
It's the ultimate holistic
test of joined-up policy.
What better entry card to Number 10
than a bold, innovative idea
like this one to remind them what
courageous leadership is all about?
Are you not coming
to the funding debate?
No time for that crap today.
Too much on.
Order! Order! Mr Aiden Hoynes.
Mr Speaker,
party funding is not
just a financial issue,
but a moral one.
Given the recent
allegations against me,
some might think my contribution
to this debate...
self-serving.
In fact, my Right Honourable friend
the Prime Minister
was counting on that
when he asked for my support.
I'm afraid I couldn't oblige him.
I'm not prepared to sacrifice
my principles for self-preservation.
Why should you?
But it prompted me to wonder -
how many of us in this house have
prostituted our principles
for power and self-interest?
How many times have we flouted
and ignored
our own ministerial code on ethical
standards when it suits us?
I mean, where to start, Mr Speaker?
Cash for honours.
Cash for questions.
Cash for influence.
Dodgy dossiers. Dodgy finances.
Toxic pacts with the press
and the big daddy of them all -
the expenses scandal.
Yes! Hear, hear!
Those are just the headliners.
Is it any wonder the public is not
just disengaged by politicians,
but DISGUSTED by us?
Contemptuous of us?
They see laws passed by MPs
without proper scrutiny,
whipped into submission to
toe the party line.
They see a political system
relying on commercial
and partisan interests
for its funding.
A system corrupted
by lobbying and cronyism,
which has tainted the integrity
of all of us in this chamber.
If you lie down with dogs,
you get fleas, Mr Speaker,
and we are infested with them!
Order! And what are fleas
but parasites by another name?
Perhaps it's time to remind
ourselves of the meaning
of the Greek word "ethics".
Bruce Babbish.
We cannot let the issue of reforming
our party funding system
join the litany of our other
broken promises.
We said we would get rid of
Punch & Judy politics in parliament.
We haven't. We said we would rid
parliament of sleaze. We didn't.
We said we would be open
and transparent in our dealings.
We're not.
If the promises
we make mean nothing,
if the rights of citizens
are trampled on by a government
to suit its own ends,
and if those they've elected do not
hold the government to account,
the people will do it themselves...
LOUD CLAMOURING
..if not by taking to the streets,
by shunning the ballot box.
It isn't just us
who will pay the price for that...
..but democracy itself.
Hear! Hear! Hear!
I have to say, I'm beginning
to feel redundant.
You patently don't need me
to write your speeches any more.
That's another fan?
Mmmm, Sean Bartlett, no less.
Blimey,
he doesn't dish out praise lightly.
That's most of the Front Bench
you've corralled now.
Not to mention the home front.
So absurdly proud...
Ditto.
'Aiden Hoynes has garnered
praise from an increasing number
'of prominent and back bench
cross-party MPs after
'his dramatic speech
during the Party Funding debate
in the Commons today.
'The speech not only resonated
strongly with MPs,
'but has prompted many political
commentators to wonder
'if this provocative tirade
against what Hoynes described as
'"the litany of broken promises"
could be the beginning...'
'..of an historic movement
to renew confidence
in the parliamentary system.'
Hello?
I hope you're sitting comfortably.
'Can you talk?' Go for it.
They're running it tomorrow,
to ride on the back
of your speech in the House.
The footage is on their website now.
'I need to bring other
departments along with me on it.
'Not least Freya Gardner
at Work And Pensions -
we're nowhere without her.
'And as a new start-up company,
I'd be taking quite a risk on you.'
'The bigger the risk,
the bigger the pay-off, as they say.'
'I assume we're
talking about the same thing?'
'We're not talking about
bank rolling the decor
'in your private office, Minister.'
'We'd be looking at showing
our appreciation
in a more tangible way.'
'I sense this is the start of a most
fruitful relationship.'
The utter mind-blowing
avarice of it!
It's his fatal flaw. Always was.
Hello?
'Resignation today of the
Business Secretary, Bruce Babbish.
'After being secretly filmed by two
undercover reporters posing...'
'..as outsource company executives
where he allegedly accepted
'a bribe in return for granting them
a major government contract.
'In other news, the national...'
'Let me say this.
'I had no knowledge whatsoever of
any Government contract
'involving immigrants
looking after the elderly.'
'I was never approached by
the Business Secretary at any time,
'either formally or informally.
'Had he made such an approach,
I would never have countenanced
'supporting such a venture,
much less have agreed to
'action it. That's it, thank you.'
Well, just to change the whole
system...
Well, how very cosy.
Post mortem, is it?
I come to bury Caesar,
not to praise him?
I mean, full bloody
marks for ingenuity, mate.
It was up there in the stratosphere.
What was it again?
"Political fortunes
are made on bold ideas?"
Oh, and just
so you know - clean sweep.
Next stop, criminal charges and
deselection! Bonus, eh?
This is unwise, Bruce.
There she is! Come join us!
The Golden Couple, ladies and gents!
Bruce, that's enough! So tell me.
Was it his idea, or yours?
His Damascus conversion?
The... the... the "big idea"
he spun me?
All that pillow talk planning it,
perfecting it to reel me in.
God, what a turn-on that must have
been, eh? OK, I said, enough now.
I'll just bet it made you wet,
just thinking about it, eh?
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
OK, OK!
Aargghh!
Get off!
Get him out!
Get off me! Come on!
As you were, show's over.
Well, over the years I've seen
some pretty unseemly displays
in this place, but I have to
say that takes pole position.
♪ Get out, quack, quack, get out
Quack, quack, get out of town... ♪
'In your office.'
It wasn't enough he fucked me over,
I was supposed to stand by
while he fucked my wife too?
I don't think so.
What was it? Proximity?
Lust?
A quick shag
waiting for the division bell?
I thought as much.
I'm not going to dignify this
with a response.
Do you remember how I used to joke
what a crap liar you were?
I stand corrected.
You have got it
mastered on an industrial scale!
I mean, where to start?
Well, what about the last one -
the other night
with your constituents?
In his apartment the whole
damn evening!
We were working!
So why did you lie?
To avoid this exact
conversation that we are having now!
It was only ever in your head,
Aiden.
All of it! Dress it up how you like.
I am not the reason that you did
this, I am just the excuse.
Well, I'm sorry, turning the other
cheek didn't do it for me, so...
So what was I, then?
Collateral damage?
You could've taken me down with him!
Oh, God.
Oh, dear God.
That's it.
That's what you wanted, isn't it?
There's only ever been
room for you at the top table.
Didn't I pay my dues
all those years?
Supporting you,
as your cheer leader.
What about the one time
I counted on it, Freya?
When the world and his wife was
watching in Westminster?
How hard would it have been?
One little word?
"Do you support your husband?"
And so I had to be punished.
All your fine words
yesterday in the House about ethics.
Oh, everyone says one
thing in the House and does another,
that's the rules of engagement.
Well, that's your rules, not mine.
I just wanted things to go back
to how they were.
When we were happy.
Is this it for us?
Is that what we're looking at here?
Love without respect.
Is that even possible?
You don't just... you don't
just stop loving someone, Freya.
It doesn't work like that.
I can give it my best shot.
No good comes of listening
at keyholes, as you used to say.
Yes.
He had to be stopped.
If anyone had told me
you were capable of such duplicity,
I'd have told them
they were a damn liar.
How was it up there on the moral
high ground all those years
in the glass house of academia?
You've never had to
get your hands dirty.
You have never had to sully yourself
shovelling the shit
on the front line.
You had me to do that for you!
I cannot, I WILL not, listen any
more to your self-justifying crap!
How is it you have a son who's
totally incapable of deception?
I have one...
for whom it's second bloody nature!
Go and tell Daddy you're
ready for school. He's in the shed.
Ah! Mummy!
Stay inside.
Go inside. Dad!
Go in sweetie! Dad? Dad?
Thanks for coming.
Good to see you, thank you.
Thanks for coming, Kenny,
really great to see you.
Bye. Good to see you. Thank you.
I'll take the kids away
somewhere at half term.
You can move out then.
'If a week is a long time
in politics,
'six months is positively seismic.
'First, the resignation of former
Prime Minister Duncan Craig...'
'After the Bruce Babbish sleaze
scandal, then the surprise
'leadership victory which led to
that convincing election victory...'
'Here they are, arriving together to
take up the reins of power - one as
'Prime Minister, the other as Deputy
Prime Minister and Home Secretary.'
'There have been
rumours of a marital split,
'that it's now just a marriage
of political convenience,
'but there's little sign of that
today as they prove to the party
'and the country
that they are indeed
the Golden Couple of politics.'
Thank you.
Are you ready for us,
Prime Minister?
Yes, thank you, Marcus.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
Good morning, everyone.
Let's begin, shall we?