The Pioneer Woman (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Ranching in the Mist - full transcript

Ree plans the night before for a cowboys and cowgirls lunch. She prepares spicy pulled pork; cilantro slaw; potatoes au gratin; a flat apple pie with homemade caramel sauce.

I'm ree drummond,
the pioneer woman.

Here's what's happening
on the ranch.

I'm making care packages
for my two college girls.

I'm sending them homemade
breakfast tarts

to start the day,

nut-and-seed brittle that's
perfect to share with friends,

salt-and-pepper crackers
to snack on

while studying away

and awesome cherry gummies --

a college-student favorite.

Their brothers are getting in
on the fun too,



shopping for goodies
to pack in their boxes.

We're sending them with love
from the ranch.

Welcome to my frontier.

♪♪

my daughter, alex, is in her
last year of college,

and my daughter, paige,

is in her first year,
so I thought,

"this is my chance to make
a double college care package."

I'm gonna fill two boxes
with all the good things in life

and send them to my girls.

I'm gonna start
by making a batch

of homemade breakfast tarts.

They're really colorful,
super delicious.

They can eat them
as breakfast or a snack.



I'm gonna make a pie crust,

and that'll serve
as the crust for the tarts.

This is just my standard crust.

It has 3 cups of all-purpose
flour, a teaspoon of salt,

and I added 2 tablespoons
of sugar

just to give the tarts
a little extra sweetness.

Okay, I mixed that together.

Now I have two sticks of butter.

It's really cold.

I'm gonna work it together
until it basically

looks like crumbs
and pebbles mixed together.

I have a little confession
to make.

I have not sent paige a care
package at college yet,

and that perfectly sums up
what it's like

after your first child.

The first kid --
you make a baby book,

you write down everything
they do and say,

and then the rest of the kids,
you're too busy. [ chuckles ]

all right, this is all
mixed together,

so I have a beaten egg.

Pour it right in
and then ice water...

I'll add about 5 tablespoons.

♪♪

...A little splash
of white distilled vinegar.

It's been really fun to see

how my two girls
have done in college.

'course, when alex left
for college,

I thought the world
was coming to an end.

I did not know a mother
could feel such depth of pain.

I missed her so much,

and then, three years later,

paige did it to me again.
[ chuckles ]

okay, now I'm gonna
dump this mixture

right onto the plastic wrap.

[ bowl thuds ]

you've got to use your hands
and press.

Now wrap it super tight
in the plastic wrap,

and I'll get it into the fridge.

Now, I am not doing this
care-package project alone.

There are other things that need
to go in the boxes besides food,

so I enlisted bryce and todd
to help me,

so let me take you
into the first installment

of "drummond boys
personal shoppers".

♪♪

first stop -- osage outfitters.

What's up, joey?
What's up, joey?

How we doing?

Doing all right?
Yes, sir.

What do you think
about getting, todd?

I honestly don't know.

Maybe a makeup bag?
Coffee mug.

Ree: Decisions, decisions.

Boots?
Got these.

Something mom would wear.

Something you would wear.
[ laughing ] shut up.

That's a no.

Cold-weather clothes?
-Some clothes.

No, it's pretty warm
down there in texas.

Yeah.
How about some perfume?

[ perfume spritzes ]

-[ splutters ]
-[ chuckles ]

think I might get
this perfume for paige.

Yeah, I like it.

This leather air freshener.

Ree:
Perfumes and air fresheners,

and that is a solid yes.

-Well, thank you, joey.
-There you go.

Good to see you guys.
-Thank you.

-Have a good one.
-You, too.

[ door bell dings ]

where to next?

Well, I don't know.

I promise to share more of
the boys' shopping adventures.

I apologize to all the store
owners in pawhuska.

I hope they survive this.
[ chuckles ]

all right, I've got the dough --

it's been chilling
for an hour --

and I'm going
to roll out half of it.

It's better to roll out half
of the batch of dough at a time.

That way, you don't run the risk
of the whole batch of dough

getting too warm to work with.

Now, I get a little flour
on top,

and I'm gonna roll this out

approximately
to 18 inches by 9 inches.

♪♪

okay, now I'll trim off
the rough edges,

and I'm gonna cut this
into eight equal rectangles.

So, I'm gonna grab
a jar of berry preserves...

You can do strawberry.

You can do chocolate-hazelnut
spread if you prefer.

...And then I'll grab
a little bit of egg wash.

This is just an egg that I beat
with a little bit of water,

and I'll brush it around
the edge of the crust...

♪♪

[ glass thuds ]

...And then pick up
the top piece

and you put it on top.

Use your fingers
to make the edges meet.

Now I'll get a fork and crimp
the edges

just like you
would a pie crust.

You don't have to be fancy
at all, and that's a good thing

'cause I am not fancy...

[chuckles] when it
comes to things like this.

Okay, I'm gonna make
seven more of these,

and then I'll walk you through
the baking and cooling process.

First, I put the eight tarts

onto parchment-lined
baking sheets

and get them into the oven
to bake at 400 degrees

for 16 minutes.
[ timer clicking, dings ]

when they're just barely golden,

I'll take them out,

leave them
on the counter for 20 minutes,

and then put them on two racks.

The little tarts are baked
and cooled.

Now, even though there's
sweet jam on the inside,

they don't look
very exciting right now.

They're just kind of plain
pastries.

Well, I'm about to change that.

I am making a bright purple
glaze to spoon over the top.

I'm just sifting
some powdered sugar.

Now I'll add a tablespoon
of the berry preserves,

and then I have some milk --
2 tablespoons.

Now I'm gonna add some
bright purple food coloring.

I'm using a toothpick.

♪♪

so I'll stir it around.

I love adding the jam because
you can see

the little bits of berries
throughout the purple frosting,

so it's really, really great.

And then I'll start by just
adding a spoonful to the top.

Now these are not neatly piped,
iced, homemade breakfast tarts.

These are kind of fun,
splatter-y,

gloopy breakfast tarts.
[ chuckles ]

just kind of push the glaze

so it just falls over
the sides a little bit,

and then, to make them
extra fun for my girls,

I'm gonna sprinkle on
some little rainbow sprinkles.

Okay, that's one.

Now I'm gonna keep glazing
and sprinkling.

♪♪

♪♪

okay, they're all done.

Now I have to let them
set completely,

and then I'll pack them up,

and they'll be ready
for the trip south to texas

and east to arkansas.

Up next -- crazy-good
nut-and-seed brittle,

salt-and-pepper crackers,
cherry gummies,

and more care-package shopping
courtesy of bryce and todd.

♪♪

nothing says, "I love you.
I miss you.

Please come home.
I'm so lonely,"

like sending your daughters
a care package at college.

Now, in alex and paige's
care packages,

I wanted to include
nut-and-seed brittle.

It's pretty much like regular
peanut brittle,

but it has some great seeds
and nuts.

Now I added some flax
seeds to the pan.

That's the first seed,
and that was about 3/4 cup.

I'll add 1/4 cup
of sesame seeds.

I've got some slivered almonds,

and I'm gonna add
1/2 cup of those

and then 1/2 cup
of shelled sunflower seeds.

Give the pan a shake,

and then I'm gonna
toast these nuts

before I make the brittle.

They're gonna go
into a 350-degree oven

for about 8 to 10 minutes,

and then I'll move
forward from there.

Meantime, I sent bryce and todd
to town

to pick up little bits and
pieces for the care packages,

so let's go to them
for installment two

of their shopping adventures.

Second stop -- pierce arrow
for a jewelry mission.

We're looking to get
some jewelry for our sisters.

Do they like longer
or shorter, do you think?

Think alex likes
the longer necklaces.

Ree: They're looking...
Well, this necklace
has labradorite in it.

...They're choosing...
I think we need to get that

for alex, todd.
-Yeah.

Probably a shorter one
for paige.

What do you think
about that one?

Yeah, I like that one.
Okay.

You guys are quick shoppers.
[ chuckles ]

typical male species here.

Ree: ...They're buying. Easy.

I'm feeling like I should send
them to do my grocery shopping.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

There's gonna be more
from those two in a minute,

but in the meantime,

I'm gonna move forward
with the brittle.

The kitchen smells so good.

It's because of these seeds
and nuts.

They smell delicious.

Okay, now I'm gonna move forward

with the butter-and-sugar
mixture.

It's very, very simple --

just a cup and a half of sugar

and, as if that isn't
enough sweetness,

1/2 cup of corn syrup.

All right,
and then a stick of butter,

1/2 cup of water,

and I just got to turn
on the stove.

Now I'm gonna stir this
around until the butter melts,

the sugar dissolves,

so while that happens,
boys, over to you.

♪♪

last stop -- the merc.

How about something soft
and cuddly, boys...

Should we get a dog?

Yeah.
Charlie dog?

...Something to wear...

Maybe, like, a sweatshirt?

Bryce, what size is alex?

Large.
Extra large?

[ laughing ] large.

[ quietly ] oh, man.

Think she'll like that.

-Mm.
-...And a lucy dog?

What more could
two sisters want?

Good job, boys.

I sure hope the girls appreciate
their brothers' efforts.

They're putting their heart and
soul into this shopping journey.

I used a candy thermometer,

and the mixture is
just at 300 degrees,

and that's when you want
to stop the cooking

so it doesn't get too thick.

Now these seeds have cooled
a bit,

so I'm gonna use a spatula
and just get them in there.

Get in there
and quickly stir it around.

You don't want to waste
any time with this stage.

Once it starts to seize up,
you're sunk.

So I'm gonna pour it
onto the piece of parchment --

try to cover as much area
as I can

'cause it's not very easy
to spread

once it gets out of the pan.

What a gorgeous,
gorgeous mixture,

and it's good to get it
kind of even on top.

Smooth it out
as much as you can.

Gosh, who needs peanut brittle

when you can have
this masterpiece?

Okay,
I think that looks great,

and for a little
finishing touch,

I've got some sea salt,

and I'm gonna sprinkle
a little bit over the top.

Okay, now I need to let this
cool and set,

and this is what happens next.

The brittle takes about an hour
and a half to set.

[ timer dings ]
then I'll break it

into miscellaneously-shaped
shards.

It's so satisfying
to break them apart.

I love that snapping sound.

Then I'll pack it in bags,
tie them up,

and that's two bags
of sweet brittle

for my two sweet daughters.

All right, alex and paige.

Nut-and-seed brittle
coming for you.

Truth be told, I wish I had made
a little extra for me.

[ clicks teeth ] hmm.
Look what I found.

Up next -- salt-and-pepper
crackers and cherry gummies

complete the lineup
for college-girl care packages

delivered to the post office by
one of their favorite brothers.

♪♪

when I was in college --

mmm, that was about
four years ago --

I loved it when my mom
would send me

home-baked treats in the mail.

Well, I am spreading that love
to my daughters,

who are both in college.

I'm sending alex and paige

a double care package
of homemade treats,

and I'm gonna include a batch
of salt-and-pepper crackers.

They're sort of like
a shortbread cookie

but in cracker form.

The girls are gonna love them.

I added 2 3/4 sticks of butter
to the mixer

with 1/2 cup of sugar,

and I'm gonna let
that cream together

while I sift
the dry ingredients.

That is 2 cups of flour

along with 1/2 cup
of cornstarch.

You don't find cornstarch

in cookie or cracker recipes
very often,

but it adds
the lightest texture.

It really makes them special.

Okay, that is all creamed
together.

[ switch clicks ]
so I'll turn it off,

and then I'll add
this mixture in two halves --

add about half of it now.

Then I'll turn
the mixer back on.

So while that mixes in,
I'll go ahead and add the rest.

Okay.

And these are salt-and-pepper
crackers,

so I'm gonna add
2 teaspoons of black pepper

and mix it just
a little bit longer.

These crackers almost melt
in your mouth.

Because of that,
if you're not careful,

you can polish off
12 or 13 of them

without even thinking about it.

Okay. Perfect.

Okay, I'm gonna divide this
in two sections,

so I will get one
onto plastic wrap.

Gosh, it looks like regular
cookie or cracker dough,

but it just feels different.

It's so soft,

and it's messy.
[ chuckles ]

soft means messy
when it comes to doughs.

I kind of press it into a ball,

and that'll make it easier
to roll out after it chills.

Okay, the second half.

Fold that over.

This dough is so easy
to work with.

Okay, I'm gonna get the dough
into the fridge to chill,

and then I'll see you
back here in a bit.

[ timer clicking, dings ]

20 minutes doesn't seem
like a lot,

but it hardens that butter
just enough

to make it easy
to roll this dough out.

Otherwise, it is way too soft,

and you'll end up in tears,

and you won't finish
your daughters' care package.

Okay.

I'm gonna roll this out
into a circle.

I've put it on a piece
of parchment

because it's
a very sticky dough,

and you've just got to keep
flouring the rolling pin,

turning it,

and if you see it
start to stick at all,

just add a little more flour.

This is such a pretty dough

'cause you can see
the little flecks of pepper.

Okay.
That looks about right.

It's about a 9-inch circle,
I think,

so I'll cut off
the rough edges

just so I can start
with a neat square.

Okay,
I'll pull off the edges,

and then I'm gonna
cut four-by-fours,

which means I'll wind up
with 16 squares.

Now I'm gonna put these
onto a baking sheet,

and then I'll do this same thing

with the other
half of the dough.

♪♪

so now comes the salt part
in the form of sea salt.

I tell you, what makes
these crackers so special

is the sea salt on top,

makes the crackers
a little extra pretty.

It has this little sparkle
from the salt,

but then you eat them.
Oh, they're just so...

Salty. [ chuckles ]

I don't know how else
to describe it.

Okay, so I'm gonna get these

into a 325-degree oven
until they're set.

♪♪

[ timer clicking, dings ]

I love these crackers.

So I'm gonna let these
sit here and cool,

and then I'll pack them up
for the girls,

16 for each one.

[ clicks cheek ] maybe 15?

14, and that's my final offer.

Up next -- cherry gummies, the
ultimate sweet student snack.

Then I'm packing up
the college care packages

destined for arkansas
and texas.

Okay, this is command central
for all things care package.

I've got two pretty big boxes

for each of
the girls' care boxes,

and I couldn't help it.

I'm a mom, so I broke out
the stickers and magic markers,

and I decorated the underside.

All right, I've got all the
stuff to pack in the boxes.

I've got the homemade
breakfast tarts

and the
salt-and-pepper crackers,

this scrumptious and very
crunchy nut-and-seed brittle.

Now, every kid's care package
has to have a fun candy,

so I made cherry gummies.

They have real fruit juice
in them.

You will not believe how easy
they are to make

with just four ingredients.

Making the cherry gummies
is easy.

It's 2 cups of tart cherry juice

and 2/3 cup
of sugar stirred together

until the sugar dissolves.

Then, with the heat off,

I added 4 tablespoons of gelatin
mixed with a cup of water,

and that gets whisked until
it was completely dissolved.

Then I added the zest and juice
of a lime,

stir everything together,

pour it into a pan sprayed
with cooking spray

and chill it for 2 hours.

Next, you cut it into 1-inch
squares,

put them on a sheet pan,

let them sit overnight,
then pack them up.

Jars for alex and paige
and a little bag for bryce.

I'm gonna add the things
that the boys got:

Sweet little basset hound

and a merc sweatshirt,

necklace.

It's so interesting to see
what the boys pick out

when they go shopping
for their sisters --

[ sniffs ]
actually smells really good.

I like to see their creativity
come out.

Okay, and then, because
every college student

needs one --

phone charger.

All right, that's alex's box.

Now I'm gonna fill up paige's.

♪♪

all right,
they're all filled up.

Now I need to close them
and tape them,

and then I just need my delivery
guy to come pick them up.

♪♪

-what's up, mom?
-Hey, brycie.

You ready for a trip
to the post office?

-Yeah, I am.
-Oh, man,

those are heavy.
[ chuckles ]

thank you
for doing this for me.

It'll save me
a trip to town.

No problem.

And I am sending you
with some cherry gummies

so you won't dig
through the care packages.

All right.
Hey.

I like that you have
a driver's license.

[ chuckling ]
yeah, me, too.
[ laughs ]

bye, brycie.
See you.

Drive safe!
Yeah.

♪♪

mmm.

Not bad.

♪♪