The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 4, Episode 16 - Bilko's Hollywood Romance - full transcript

Hollywood star Monica Malamar is ordered to clean up her image & embarks on a romance with Bilko. When he reaches Hollywood he plays the shy, country boy but it's not long before he's up to his scheming tricks.

(barking orders)

Monica, it's got to
stop, these scenes,

these scandals, these marriages.

Lots of stars have
been married 5 times.

Not in 6 months, they haven't.

I'm supposed to
be a love goddess.

What do you want me
to do, play Canasta?

This bad publicity
is ruining us.

The studio has spent
a fortune on this picture.

I hated it.

Honey, Rebecca of
Sunnybrook Farm is a classic.



And this is the first time it's
ever been done as a musical.

- So?
- So you've got to cooperate.

Tell her, Smitty.

Well, we're starting
a publicity campaign.

For the opening stunt,
we've had you elected

Sweetheart of Camp Fremont.
- It's patriotic.

And next Saturday
night we've arranged

for a personal
appearance for you,

when they preview your
picture at Camp Fremont.

Saturday night, I got a date.

And that's another
thing, no more dates,

unless they're simple
wholesome American types.

What am I supposed to do,
go steady with Gabby Hayes?

Monica, honey, I'm only
thinking of your career.



Just let me get a few
pictures in the newspapers

of you surrounded by simple,
clean cut, young soldiers.

Look at that, wow wow wee!

I'd like to co-star with
her for 1 or 2 weeks.

Hey, give me a boost,
somebody, I can't see.

Oh boy, did I have a
dream about her last night.

Fender, you're a married man.

We're the ones that
do the most dreaming.

Look at this fellow.

Hey, hold it down
out in here, will you?

What, what's going on here?

Sarge.

What's with you guys?

Sarge, she'll be
here Saturday night.

- Who?
- Monica Malamar.

Hollywood's
irrepressible madcap.

Monica Malamar?

Yes, Sarge.

This? This is what
you're screaming about?

This is what you want,
this publicity mad dame?

This dame who gets
married every week?

This dame who gets romanced by
every phony who comes to town?

This man chasing, man crazy
dame, this is what you want?

Yeah.

Be ashamed of yourselves.
If it was up to guys like you,

Greer Garson would
be an unknown.

You beasts, come on.

Did you know notice
how he took it first?

- It's so obvious.
- What's that?

They think that Monica Malamar

is coming here
to entertain them.

What is she coming for, Ernie?

For a dry cleaning.

She's got such bad publicity,
they think they'll clean it up

by having her entertain
a group of G.I.s.

Oh, it burns me up.

What are you
getting so sore about?

To think that I have
to play the wide-eyed,

innocent G.I. for
Ms. Monica Malamar.

- You, Sarge?
- Of course.

They always pick on some
G.I., give 'em the full treatment.

The cheek to cheek dancing,
the free dinner, the champagne.

Well, I suppose I'll
have to go through with it.

What a noble sacrifice, Sarge.

Thanks for protecting
us from all that ecstasy.

Hensh...

Sarge, what makes you so
sure you're going to be the one?

Because Cpt. Barker told me so.

Yeah? When did he say that?

About 10 minutes from now.

Oh yes, I'll be the one assigned to
pick her up and drive her to the post.

Fat chance, Cpt. Barker
probably made up his mind

to do that himself already.

- I find that very insulting.
- What?

Cpt. Barker, making
up his own mind?

Come on!

Ah, good afternoon, Captain.

Oh, Bilko, I'm glad you're here.

Oh, anything I
can do for you, Sir?

Yes I'd like you to have a
staff car ready for my use

at 6 o'clock tomorrow evening.

Saturday evening, Sir?

That is if you don't mind
my using the staff car

for official business.

The Captain has a
wonderful sense of humor, Sir.

That's enough, Bilko.

Remember now I want
that car at 6 o'clock sharp.

Yes Sir, the Captain will be
away for the weekend, Sir?

No, Bilko, I just have
to run into Grove City

to pick up Monica Malamar.

Monica Malamar, Sir? You're
going to pick her up personally, Sir?

Of course, anything wrong?

Well, it's none of my
business perhaps, Sir.

But I was just wondering
about the advisability

of you being seeing with
such a notorious personality

just when you're about
to become a major, Sir.

I'm only going to pick
her up at the hotel, Bilko.

Oh yes, that's what Col. Wilson
said at his court martial, Sir.

- Col. Wilson?
- Well it's Pvt. Wilson now, Sir.

You see, all he did was
pick her up in his staff car

but she had had a little too
much of the old redeye... you know.

Well, you probably read
about it in Confidential, Sir.

6 o'clock staff car, yes Sir.

- Just a minute, Bilko.
- Sir?

Are you doing
anything Saturday night?

Me? Oh Sir, not me, Sir.

You see, I'm going with a
very respectable girl, Sir.

- She's a librarian, Sir.
- Nevertheless, Bilko.

I want you to pick
up Monica Malamar.

- But, Sir.
- Bilko.

- Yes, Sir.
- That's an order.

Yes, Sir! Oh, I hope
Zelda will understand.

Smitty, I don't know how I
let myself get talked into this.

- Oh now, Monica.
- A hick town,

a miserable Army post,
a crummy hotel room.

Look, I did the best I could.
This is the Royal Suite.

Then you better open a window.

The last royalty to stay here
must have been King Kong.

- Oh now, look, Monica...
- I know.

I need the favorable
publicity. Let's get it over with.

Good, now in a few minutes
a guy from Camp Fremont

will be here to drive
us out to the post.

I'm ready, I just have
to put my dress on.

Monica, I know these soldiers

aren't the type of
men you're used to.

- So?
- So, watch you're language.

Here it is, Sarge.
This is her room.

- Good luck, Ernie.
- Wait a minute.

- Give me your hat.
- Right.

You've got the autograph book?

- Yeah.
- Hold this a minute.

Well, Sir, they want to see
a typical wide-eyed G.I.?

I'll see that they're
not let down.

Now you guys you better blow.

Right, Sarge.

Ms. Malamar, my
name is Ernest Bilko.

On behalf of the men
of Camp Fremont...

Oh, excuse me, my glasses
always steam up when I get excited.

Monica will be
ready in a minute,

she's just slipping
into her dress.

Oh, well, I'd better wait
outside on the sidewalk.

Wait a minute.

You're very shy,
aren't you soldier?

Gee willikers, who
wouldn't be shy, shucks,

meeting the great
big star Ms. Malamar.

Sergeant, would you mind
waiting here for a minute?

- Sure.
- I'll see if Monica is ready.

- Yes, Sir.
- Monica, Monica I've got it.

- What?
- The topper to this
whole publicity campaign.

It will make headlines,
the squares will eat it up.

Let's have it.

A romance with a
plain ordinary G.I. Joe.

Smitty, are you kidding?

Listen, a serious romance with
a wholesome American soldier

will get the public
back on your side.

- And you've found him?
- He's outside in the hall right now.

Oh, he's not much to look at,
but that will make a better story.

He's shy, he wears glasses,

and he's got a great
big crush on you.

- I'm nauseous.
- Monica, play along.

Make up to him and I guarantee
your career will really zoom.

How long will this
great romance last?

Just a couple of weeks,
then we'll dump him.

Ok, let's get it over with.

Make it good now, huh?

Come right in
Sergeant... Sergeant?

Monica, I want you to
meet Sgt. Ernest Bilko.

He's come to drive
us out to the camp.

I'm so glad to meet you, Ernie.

I, I bru... I brung
you some flowers.

They're lovely.

So sweet, why, you're a darling.

Will you 2 kids
excuse me a moment?

Oh mister, mister don't go I...

- Won't you sit down, Ernie?
- Yes.

- Over here.
- Oh, jeez.

Ms. Malamar would
you, would you...

would you sign my
autograph book, please?

Yes, all my very big
favorites are in there.

Would you sign between... ah,

between my gym
teacher and Art Linkletter?

- I'd love to.
- Boy, oh boy...

Thank you very much.

Now then, tell me
all about yourself.

Oh, nothing to tell.

I'm in the Army,
umm, well I'm...

I'm 34 years old, and... I...

I'm in charge of the Motor
Pool at Camp Fremont.

And, well, every morning I'm
down there in that grease pit.

My you've had a
fascinating career.

- Yeah, it has been fun.
- It's... uh.

Just look all those decorations,

aren't you lucky to
have such a big chest.

Or there just wouldn't
be enough room.

Where did you get this from?

Oh, oh, that's my
good conduct medal.

It figures.

Oh, this one here, I got that
when I was in the hospital.

Oh, you poor boy, were you hurt
badly? Where were you wounded,

in the head, in the
shoulder, the chest, the legs?

Uh! I've got to
get back to camp.

- So soon?
- Ready to go, kids?

Say, Ernie, after
Monica finishes her show,

how'd you like to
have dinner with her?

Oh shucks, golly gee, I
only got $1.15 with me.

Oh, don't worry about the money.
We'll take care of everything.

Oh, gosh, wait till I write
mom and tell her about this.

- Well, shall we go?
- Ok... uh...

There's the evidence, boys.

- And it really worked, Ernie?
- Oh, perfect.

Right after the show we
drove to San Francisco

in Monica's Jaguar,
and from then on

it was one night
club after another.

- Just like you figured.
- Oh, it worked perfect.

I gave them that "oh shucks, gee

willikers, Ms. Malamar,
such a big movie star like you".

I played the country bumpkin
till the last tab was paid.

You know what happened?
It was a lot of fun, fun for me.

They got their publicity,
nobody was hurt.

Hey, Sarge, there's a
civilian here to see you.

Civilian? All
right, show him in.

Cheek to cheek, which
cheek, Sarge, this one?

Get out of here!

Hi, Bilko.

Mr. Smith, what
are you doing here?

Bilko, can I speak to you
for a moment, in private.

Sure, sure. Boys,
leave us alone, will you?

- I had a good time last night.
- Bilko, why did you do it?

- Why? Why?
- Do what?

Oh, come on, Bilko, why
did you turn on the charm?

What are you talking about?

Oh, Bilko, isn't she mixed up
enough without getting involved?

Who? Who is mixed up, what?

Bilko, Monica Malamar
is in love with you.

Look, all I did was dance...
Monica Malamar in love with me?

Oh, come on, skip
the modesty, Bilko.

You're a clean cut
wholesome guy.

After all, the bums she's known

you must have
known she'd go for you.

Why, you're a
breath of fresh air.

Monica Malamar in love with me?

Yes, and that's why I'm here.

Oh, give the kid a break, Bilko.

Don't follow her to Hollywood

don't haunt her apartment
at the Sunset Towers.

I went and told you her
address, but stay away from her.

If you have any
feeling for this girl,

you'll stay out of her life.

- Hey, Ernie, what did he want?
- What gives, Sarge?

Monica Malamar
is in love with me.

- In love with you?
- Yeah.

I wonder when it happened.

But, Ernie, you were
playing that goofy character,

she wouldn't go for that.

Oh yeah? Don't sell
her short, buddy boy.

She saw right through
that Clem Kadiddle Hopper,

and feel in love
with the real me.

You? What would she see in you?

If you were a woman you
wouldn't ask such a stupid question.

If you can see me through a
woman's eyes you'd understand.

But, Ernie, Monica Malamar
a big movie star and you?

It doesn't make sense.

Oh, no? Did Romeo
and Juliet make sense?

Did the Duke of Windsor
and Wally make sense?

And how about Arthur
Miller and Marilyn Monroe.

Yeah, but Sarge,
listen, you remember...

Please, please, there's no buts.

A woman falls in love -
you can't fight these things,

it's a chemical urge.

She falls in love,
that's all there is to it.

But listen, Sarge,
you said yourself

she's a man crazy,
man chasing dame...

Don't, don't you
ever talk that way

about the woman
who is love with me.

Wait a minute, Ernie,
are you in love with her?

What love, I hardly know
her, what do you mean love.

I like her, yes, but
love, come on, Hensh.

But what's the big fuss about?

Don't you understand?
This poor girl

has been surrounded
by sham, by phonies.

She needs someone
to drive her Jaguar,

take her dancing, dance
cheek to cheek, champagne.

Good heavens, it's the
least I can do for her.

What's wrong with you?

Look what you've done,
you've done it again!

That's right, J.P., He went
for it hook, line and sinker.

Have Monica and the photographer

waiting for him at
the airport... When?

Come on.

In about 2 hours,
he's on his way.

And listen to what
Louella Parsons says,

"Monica Malamar's romance
with smiling Ernie Bilko

seems to be the real thing.

We're all pleased that Monica
has found Mr. Right at last."

I don't care. I can't stand him.

I can't stand him
another minute.

He's been here a week,
and I'm going out of my mind!

On the set, in my dressing
room, in my apartment...

Calm down, Monica,
the press reaction

has been sensational, look.

I don't care! I don't want him
slobbering over me anymore.

- My neck is all chapped.
- Calm down, Monica.

The whole country is
thrilled by the romance

of a glamorous
motion picture star

and the simple wholesome
American soldier.

Simple? Wholesome? Have you
seen him since he came to Hollywood?

You know how much he's changed?

- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hello, Bilko.

Sweetie, call me Ern.

Monica, baby, you look
positively delectable.

J.P., I want to talk
to you a minute.

I just saw yesterday's rushes
on Monica's latest flicker.

Brutal, brutal, we'll have
to do them all over again.

Bilko, do you realize a
day's shooting costs $30,000?

Sweetie, don't quibble
with me with pennies,

when there's a
girl's career at stake.

Sugar, in the close-ups,
they murdered you.

Ah, Bilko, why
don't you and Monica

have lunch at
Romanoff's and after...

Will you hold the calls?
We're in conference.

J.P., I've decided
to fix that ending.

The final scene I've
changed it completely.

Here's the way it is.

Monica and her lover are sitting
on the stoops of this tenement

surrounded by
garbage cans, realism.

You know what I mean? Realism.

On tenement garbage cans,
Bilko, are you out of your mind?

In this picture Monica
is supposed to be

a Park Avenue debutante.

Sweetie, that's
not the real Monica.

Bilko, I've been in
this business all my life.

- I discovered Monica.
- I'm glad you mentioned that.

I've been looking
at her contract,

J.P., we'll have to renegotiate.

Bilko, that's none
of your business.

Oh, isn't it? You've exploited
this young lady long enough.

From now on this child is
going to get $400,000 a picture

as against 10% of the gross,
how does that sound, good girl?

This is utterly ridiculous.

Monica, tell this
clown where to get off.

With pleasure, J.P.
Ernie, you're the most

conniving heel I ever met,
and the most wonderful one.

Monica, what are you saying?

I'm not saying anything. From
now on, Ern does all my talking.

Oh, thank you, baby,
for the green light.

Look, if you don't agree
to our terms, honey,

we can always go independent.

How does this sound, Bilko
Malamar Productions Incorporated.

Oh, Ernie.

Ah, look at the lovebirds.
What do you say to that, J.P.?

- You're fired.
- What?

Oh, you can come
and work for us.

J.P., we'll be gone
a couple of hours.

Meanwhile you can mull
over Monica's new contract.

Come, sugar, the Jaguar
is double parked. See you.

It looks like I've created
another Frankenstein.

Worse, Boris Karloff
never had such a big mouth.

Smitty, you've
got to get rid of him

before he gives Monica
too many big ideas.

I think I know how to stop him.

In the last 2 weeks,
he's become an agent,

a lawyer, a writer, a producer.

- What's left?
- A movie star.

We con him into
taking a screen test.

Then we dangle a fat contract

in front of his
beady, greedy eyes

and we got him
where we want him.

- Do you think we can fool him?
- Ah, we couldn't.

But a big Director
like Emil Petrov could.

Smitty, we'll give it a whirl.

J.P., this is an
historic occasion.

We're about to discover the
most romantic leading man

since Ben Turpin.

Oh, come on,
sweetie, let's get with it.

Does J.P. know I've been waiting
over three and a half minutes?

I'm sorry, Mr. Bilko,

but he's in conference
with Emil Petrov.

Emil Petrov? The great director?

Wonderful, I want him
for Monica's next picture.

I don't think they'll
be very long, Mr. Bilko.

He'll be in in a minute.

Now remember, Emil, if we
want to get rid of this phony,

you've got to be
very convincing.

Don't worry, I bamboozled the
Bolsheviks, I can fool anybody.

Myself. Oh, J.P., I was
just wondering in the new...

Oh, excuse me, I didn't know
the great Emil Petrov was here.

Please, Bilko, don't
interrupt, this is very important.

- Ok.
- Go on, Emil.

That's just the
point, I can't go on.

You have given me an
actor who is an absolute nut.

But, Emil, he's one of our
most famous character actors.

When you make a
picture about the brains of

Three Musketeers,
he should be a He-man

not a sissy with a high
pitched voice. Right?

Right.

This part calls for
an Ernest Borgnine,

not a pasty-faced
Mama's boy with spit curls.

Ah, did you ever... (Russian).

Dah, dah.

Is supposed to be a
husky swashbuckler,

comes out a skinny little
thing with a curly hair.

Oh, is wery sickening, no?

Oh, it's rewolting.

Hey Emile, please, we
gave you the best we had.

And he is not good enough.

This picture will be a flop
without the right musketeer.

Come on, J.P., don't argue, get on
the phone and get me Tony Curtis

He is not available.

Not available? Tony
Curtis, he's not available.

I have $200,000 to give to
the right actor but, where is he?

$200,000?

Surely there must be someone
who can play this part in Hollywood.

All right, we'll get a new face,

someone young,
charming, wirile...

Take of your glasses, aha!

That's the trouble
with Hollywood.

This is the man
that I was looking for,

and you were going
to send him away.

But Emil, you're
making a mistake.

He's not an actor, he's nothing.

Nothing, today nothing, tomorrow
an important Hollywood star.

I, Emil Petrov,
promise you that.

But he's not even good looking.

Sex appeal is not
a matter of looks.

- Right?
- Right.

But Emil, he doesn't
even have hair.

What is Yul Brynner by
you, a cocker spaniel?

That's the trouble with
you Hollywood moguls,

you're too conventional.

Emil, this is insane.

We don't even know
how he'll photograph.

Oh, just a damn minute, I happen
to have a snapshot in my wallet

taken over 2 years ago.

But you can see for yourself,
the virility comes through.

We will find out
how he photographs.

(Russian)

Great teeth.

Tomorrow you'll get
a screen test, right?

If the maestro says so.

The maestro says so. Be on the
set tomorrow at 9 o'clock sharp.

- Dah.
- Good day, gentlemen.

Well, it's a long
shot, but just in case

we should change his name.

What, what do you
mean change my name?

Ernie Bilko doesn't
sound like a movie actor.

It's got to be catchy
like Tab or Rock.

- I've got it.
- What?

Brick. Brick Bilko,
what do you think?

Well, I'll discuss this
tomorrow on the set with Emil,

but for now I've got to turn in.

I don't want to look
haggard tomorrow on the set.

Brick, Brick Bilko,
yes it sings, it sings!

Oh boy. Oh boy.

Aha, it worked, it
worked. What next?

After the screen
test we give him

a 7 year contract
on one condition.

That he gives up Monica
for the good of his career.

Right, and by this
time tomorrow Bilko

should be on his
way back to the Army.

Right.

- Ready on the set, Mr. Petrov.
- Thank you.

Ah, Petrov, how's it going?

Does Bilko suspect anything?

Nothing, J.P., nothing at all.

- Where is he?
- Ah, by the hairdressers.

Brick, Brick, ready
on the set, Mr. Bilko.

Coming. There, he's coming now.

What... ah.

Don't tell me about
makeup, fools, jealousy,

always jealous of the actors.

Sorry Emil, I'm sorry I'm late,
but that fool of a makeup man

took forever with my eyebrows.

I mean like... oh, Smitty.

I just thought of a
great publicity campaign.

Put this in all the dailies,
a full page picture of me,

stripped from the waist up,
back to the camera, no name,

tease 'em for a few
weeks, you got it?

Oh, great idea.

I'll tell you what I
want, Emile, close-ups,

all close-ups favoring
this side, the dimple.

- Do you understand?
- I will do it, I will do it.

I like him, I like him.

He's my kind of a
director, he listens.

- Thank you, Brick.
- Thank you very much.

- Now, are we ready to go?
- Just want to limber up a bit.

Take that, royal dog, d'Artagnan
doffs his cap to no man.

- We'll fix...
- See what I mean?

Idiots. We'll
fix it, we'll fix it.

In the second takes.

Will it be all
right for this take?

Yes, well just try it anyway.

I tried to get a man
that knew his business

but would they listen? No.

- All right, are we going to do it?
- Yes, Brick.

Come on, everybody,
while he's in the mood.

Lights, camera,
action! And no laughing.

You see what I mean?

You're rolling?

Ha ha, my stomach
hurts since yesterday.

I never laughed
so hard in my life.

Take that, take
that, you royal dog.

Oh, ssh, that means
our star is coming in.

Well, how was it?

- Bravo!
- Bravo!

- That good?
- Emil says you'll be a sensation.

When can I see the test?

Oh no, Bilko, we shouldn't
even have told you

how great it was
until we talk contract.

You're right J.P., I
can be pretty rough

when I'm in the
driver's seat, aha.

- I know.
- Oh, Smitty,

I want those publicity releases
sent out to all the dailies.

Oh, not so fast, not so fast.

We've got to be careful
about your publicity.

What do you mean?

Did you ever read any scandal
in connection with Spencer Tracy?

No.

Or Jimmy Stewart
or William Holden?

Never.

No, and we don't want to
read any about Brick Bilko.

That's the way I
want it. I want nothing.

What's the matter?

Well, since you gentlemen
started, I can safely say it.

Say what?

I don't want my name linked
with Monica Malamar anymore.

- What do you mean?
- Oh, let's face it.

She's a lovely
girl and all that.

But that terrible
publicity of hers

I mean, those scrapes with
the police, those marriages.

After all, I want my public
to know me as Brick Bilko,

a wholesome American lad.

I never thought of it like that.

Oh, Bilko, I don't understand.
I thought you two were...

Oh, come on J.P.,
you're a man of the world.

It was just a passing fancy.

Of course, Monica
will be terribly upset.

I'll try to let her down
as gently as I can.

Ernie, darling where
have you been?

You promised to take me
to lunch at the Commissary.

Oh, did I really? It
completely slipped my mind.

Gentlemen, will you excuse us a
moment, I want to be alone with her.

- Thank you very much.
- What's up, Ernie?

Monica, I want to talk to
you. Sit down a moment.

Monica, I'll try to be as
kind and as gentle as I can

and still let you know
what I'm talking about.

Monica... well don't look at me,
dear, this is tough enough as it is.

Ernie, what is it?

Monica, Monica, it has been...

Oh, Ernie, for heaven's sake.

All right, Monica, this is it.

- We're through.
- What?

There, I've said it
and I'm glad it's over.

Try to see it from
my viewpoint, dear.

- I'm a rising young star.
- A young star?

Yes, and I can't afford
to be involved with you,

and your spicy reputation.

- Are you kidding?
- No, this is it Monica.

You've had it.

- This is the funniest ever.
- Monica, don't get hysterical.

You a rising young star?

Well, just speak to
Emil Petrov, he'll tell you,

he personally directed my test.

And they tested you for
the Three Musketeers?

They... yes, well,
how did you know that?

Bilko, you've been had.
We're getting in their hair.

This whole thing was a plot to
break us up and get rid of you.

By George, I think you're right.

Why would Petrov...
what... that'll show you.

That'll show you
what vanity and conceit

can do to a fine,
greedy mind like mine.

Monica Malamar it
will only get better,

but not the way they thought.

Honey, this is for your benefit,

play ball with me just a
few more moments, will you?

- All right.
- Here's what we'll do...

- What's happening?
- It's kinda quiet in there.

Well, nothing to do now,
but to throw Bilko out

and order Monica
back to work, let's go in.

Monica?

Oh, gentlemen, you're just
in time to congratulate us.

Monica and I are going to
Mexico to be married this afternoon.

- Married?
- Married?

Yes, and Smitty,
I owe it all to you.

You're fired again.

Oh, and I've decided two careers
in one family would never do.

So, I'm retiring to
handle Monica's business.

Aha, and J.P., be a good
scout, as a wedding present,

sign this new contract with the
few increases that I suggested.

You little darling.

$400,000 a picture? Now wait!

Hold on, don't, don't get upset.

Shall we go to MGM or
form our own company?

Ok, ok, you win.

Where should we go, dear? The
Riviera? Mexico City? Fun, fun.

There you are.

Thank you, J.P., here you
are, my dear, that's yours.

I told you to play ball
with me another moment

it'll be worth your
while, didn't I?

- Thanks, Ernie.
- Good bye, Monica.

It's been nice knowing you.

- What is this?
- Don't you get it, J.P.?

He's outfoxed us.

Outfoxed you? How could I?

I'm just a shy soldier
boy, gee willikers,

wait until I tell
mum about this.

Announcer: Also seen
in tonight's cast were:

Julie Wilson as Monica Malamar.

Leon Belasco as Emil Petrov.

Sydney Smith as J.P.

Frank Maxwell as Smitty,

and Nick Saunders
as Cpt. Barker.