The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 2, Episode 8 - Bilko's Engagement - full transcript

Read them and
weep as the man says.

- Well that's enough for me.
- Me too.

Where are you going,
it's Saturday night?

I've got to meet my girl.

You're go... Fender you too?

I promised Lena I'd quit early.

Lena? She is not even your girl.

She is your wife.

Look, I just don't want
to have another fight.

She keeps throwing up to
me that there are husbands

who don't leave their
wives to play poker.



Look, you tell her for
me, the only husband

that didn't leave his wife
to play poker was Adam,

and that's because
he couldn't find a game.

Come on Fender, stand up to
her, show her who's the boss.

Okay, but just one more hit.

Sit down Look,
I've got a girl too

I've Joan trained.

I told her, I said look
it's Saturday night,

I play poker and that was that.

What happens, she'll
be waiting for me

when I'm through
over at P.X, simple.

Hey fellows, room for one more?

Always room for a
high roller, sit down.

Thought you were going
to town? Yeah, it was dead.



Five card stud?
- Okay.

I saw Joan in town.

Joan? My Joan?

She was with Mulligan, you know

the good looking Sergeant
from administration.

Are you sure?

Will you stop worrying
about Joan and deal?

All right, all right, who
is worrying about Joan?

I mean I'm asking a
simple... Are you sure?

Well, then deal. I'll deal.

Who's Joan? Worried.

If I was worried would
I be playing poker?

I mean it's ridiculous thing.

I mean she lives
her life, I live my life.

She wants you know,
I... I see what do you got?

I've got 4 aces, 3 sevens, a
royal flush and a full house.

Are we going to play?
Come on Ernie, deal eh.

My hands are tired. I
think I need a little air.

I go over to P.X
and get a little coffee.

Look Ernie, if you're
worried about Joan.

Joan, who's worried about
Joan? I'm worried about Joan.

- Oh, hi Ernie.
- Hi Freddie, nice night huh?

Yeah just like it's
been every 5 minutes

for the last hour
you've been out here.

Oh, I'm just a little restless.
Oh, Freddie by the way.

No, Mulligan hasn't
been back with Joan yet.

- Look if you're worried...
- Who's worried? What worried?

Hey Sugie, how is it going?

- I haven't seen her yet.
- Who?

The same one you've been
asking about for the last hour,

Joan and Mulligan

Don't make a big
deal out of this.

I just got to see Mulligan
about some duty rosters.

I mean it's not important.

Freddie, anybody go through
here while I was talking to Sugie?

Not a soul.

Well I guess I will get
some little shut eye.

So long Freddie.
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight Sugie.
- Goodnight Ernie.

Anybody come through
here while I was gone?

Look Ernie, why don't you go
back to the barracks and relax.

When she comes
through we will fire our rifles

and then let you know.
- Oh no don't make a federal case

out of this, will you?

- Here they come.
- Not a word.

You know every time I think
of that scene with that girl.

Aha! What have we here?
Trying to sneak in Joan,

trying to hide something?

- Ernie?
- Ernie, she knows my name.

Isn't that nice, she's been gone

so long, I thought
maybe you forgot.

I'm sorry Mulligan
the way she used you.

You just ignore him Tom.

Oh, ignore him; oh you'd kill me

if I wasn't wise to your tricks.

If this is a little maneuver
to make me jealous

may I say you failed miserably.

Where were you? How
long did you go with him?

Where did you go?

Oh, stop being so
suspicious Ernie,

Tom and I just went to a movie.

Suspicious, who is suspicious.

Where's your tickets stubs?

What was the name of the movie?

Where is the salt
from the popcorn?

Who was playing in the...?
- Well, Bilko all I...

- Who's talking to you?
- Don't be ridiculous Ernie.

Oh! I'm ridiculous!

There's a bit
there I'm ridiculous.

How come you go to
the movies with him?

You don't go with me.

- You didn't want to go.
- A pretty weak alibi huh?

I didn't want to go, huh!
Now you listen to me,

Now you listen to me Ernie Bilko

I'm not married to you.

- Oh thank heavens.
- Look I hate family fights.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Well may I say, he just
left in the nick of time?

And you're a contemptible
suspicious beast.

Now she is trying to
make up, you get it?

Now you listen
to me Ernie Bilko,

I want something
straightened out;

every Saturday night
when you're playing poker,

do you expect me to sit
alone in the barracks all night?

No my dear young
lady, I do not expect you

to sit alone in the barracks.

This is a pretty big camp.

You could sit alone at the P.X.

You could sit alone
in the service club.

There are plenty of places
you can sit alone my dear.

Now you listen to me.

You're the one that's always
been saying, "Oh! No, no, no, no!

Just let's be pals,
nothing steady.

Well I want to go
even further than that.

I never want to see you again.

It's all right with me
and good riddance.

Dames ah? I think that I will
go into town and get drunk.

What am I talking
about? I don't drink.

I will fix it, I'll overeat.

You got work, you do work.

Don't come in here beefing
to me like the rest of them.

Get out of here, stop whining.

- Man he's mine.
- Been like that all morning.

Been like what all morning?

Trying to get a day's
work out of you goof offs?

You got a point
job to do, do it over.

Sarge.

Do not talk back
to me, do it over.

Sarge, just because you had
a beef with your girl last night,

don't take it out on us.

Look Mullen, when I
want advice to the lovelorn.

I will come to you.

Right now, I want a valve
job done and do it over!

Who's down here? Fender.

- What are you doing?
- I'm fixing the...

- Do it over.
- Hey Sarge, could you sign...?

- I will sign nothing.
- Do it over.

Where are you going?

To do it over, I
was just on furlough.

Come on work, work.
Where are you going?

It's 3 o'clock Sarge. It's 3
o'clock so you're through.

Oh heavens fellows,

did you hear? We've
been unionized.

Work! Do it over!

But you said I
could go into town,

I got to pick up something
for my girl at the jewelers.

May I tell you this is the army

and you'll do your work
when you're told to work!

Fender, are you through?

- Yeah.
- Do it over.

Doberman on the double!

There are some parts
waiting in the railway station

to be delivered here.

Get them right away. Sure thing.

I have to get
the bills of lading.

I will find the bills of lading.

I had a fight with
my girl last night.

If I don't pick up that package
at the jeweler's, I'm cooked.

You had a fight with your girl?

Yeah, at least let
Doberman pick it up for me.

Sure, sure.

It's in my name at
Kramers, it's paid for.

- Sure thing.
- Thanks Doberman.

Doberman here, come here.

What is it Sarge?

This is just between the 2 of us.
- Yeah?

When you get to
the jewelry shop,

in the window, there's
a little gold charm

that's in the form
of a dog house.

I want you to get it.

For me? Sarge my
birthday is in January.

Who is talking about you?

This is for Joan, have it gift
wrapped and deliver it to her.

Can I depend upon
you? On the double.

Sarge, I just
can't get this right.

Right it looks perfect to
me; you're doing a great job.

Keep working baby
you're doing fine.

Hey! What's going on
here? What are you working?

It's a lovely day, take it easy.

Relax buddies, why are
you knocking your brains off?

- Go figure him out.
- He's a nut.

Only Ernie could think
of a thing like that, huh?

- A little gold dog house.
- That was real cute Sarge.

Well, you've got to
out-thinking them.

- Hey Doberman, did you get it?
- Here it is Kadowski.

- Oh thanks.
- Duane how did it go?

Perfect, everything was
at the depot like you said.

Ah not that.

The gift for Joan,
did you get it to her?

She wasn't there,
so I left it at her desk.

Good boy. Oh, I would
love to see her face

when she opens that pack, and
then she sees the little dog house.

All the girls are
all giggly, giggly.

Happy, forgets
about the poker game,

I'm back playing Saturday night.

Hey Doberman,
what's this you got me?

It's a dog house.

You jerk! You got
the wrong package.

What was in your package?

- An engagement ring.
- An engagement ring!

Sarge?

Oh no, don't you worry,
you just stay here and relax,

I'm going to get
over to see her.

If she's already opened the
package, there is nothing to it,

I will just come
back and kill you.

It's beautiful Sergeant.

Engaged! We're all so happy
for you Joan, it's stunning.

Never thought Bilko would do it.

After 5 years I just
couldn't believe it.

- Don't, don't, don't.
- Here he comes.

- It's beautiful.
- Oh you did.

- Congratulations Ernie.
- Thank you very much.

- Honey I got...
- Finally you did it, eh Sarge.

May all your
troubles be little ones.

Oh that's a good one.

- Be a good Sarge, Ernie.
- Joan, can I talk to you?

- Two can live as cheaply as one?
- Yes I will tell her.

- Can I...
- that looks like her.

Honey, I've got to talk
to you a minute, listen.

Yes, yes darling.

There's something
I've got to explain.

Oh honey you don't
have to explain a thing.

This explains everything;

you've made me the
happiest girl in the whole world.

What was it that
you wanted to say?

Look Joan, honey, we've
got to be sensible about this.

You see the rules
says we've got to get

an okay from the colonel
before we can do this.

You know how he hates me.

- Ernie my boy.
- How do you do sir?

My heartiest congratulations.

Colonel I like
that you are so...

I've always said
that all you needed

was a steadying
hand of a good wife.

Joan my dear.

Sergeant Bilko I
just heard about it.

- Look, look! Oh Joan, what a lovely
ring.
- Did you pick it out by yourself?

No, Doberman helped me.

Look, I'd like to talk
to Joan a minute alone

if you don't mind.
- Come dear.

Thank you sir.

Now remember I want to
announce the engagement officially

at a reception that I'm
giving for you at our house.

- A reception?
- Yes.

And remember when you and
Joan are married, no loafing,

the Army needs men.

- John?
- Gee! That was a good one.

Come on let's get out of here.

- Ernest.
- Chaplain.

- Congratulations my children.
- Oh thank you.

Now I think a quiet little
ceremony in the chapel

followed by a small ser...

Look Chaplain, I don't think
that we should rush into this thing.

No, Ernie is right.

You heard her, I'm
right, we shouldn't.

We can wait with the
arrangements till my folks get here.

Yeah when her folks...
Her folks are coming.

Yeah Ernie, I phoned them
the minute I got the ring.

They're on their way from
South Carolina right this minute.

Right this... It just
happened 10 minutes,

what are they guided missiles?

- Worlds change in 10 minutes.
- You're telling me.

You know this is terrible.
I think I'm going to cry.

I think I'll join you.

What a happy
day for Fort Baxter.

5 years, 5 years I've
been going on with her.

That means 5 years of
scheming, planning, intriguing,

so the word of marriage never
even comes up in conversations.

What happens? A jerk
delivers the wrong package.

The minute she's going to
pull the string on that package,

the bottom of my
way of life fell out.

Why don't you tell her the
truth, that it was all a mistake?

Ooh that's clever. Did
you think it up yourself,

just opened your
mouth and out it came?

Why don't you
tell her the truth?

- I still say tell her the truth.
- It's too late.

Everybody on the post
thinks she is engaged.

They're giving her
four wedding showers.

The Colonel's wife is giving
a reception at her house.

Her folks are coming in.

The Chaplain is starting
to clear his throat.

It's too late.

But it was a mistake
and that's the truth.

Is that all you know how
to say, it was mistake?

How can I tell her? You
know Joan with her pride.

All I have to do is tell
she will be rejected,

or she will be
laughed out at the post.

I can't do this to her.

She is a human being. So
why don't you marry her?

I'm human being too.
She cannot do this to me.

I still say if you tell
her the truth Sarge

you got nothing to worry about.

No worry, to tell her...
You tell her the truth.

I have now given you
permission, you tell her.

You look into those
baby blue eyes,

brimming over with happiness.

You tell her it was a mistake,
she got Kadowski's ring

it never meant for
her. You tell her.

Sarge I just heard about it,
let me offer my congratulations.

Let me hit him once.
Just let me hit him once.

Sarge. Doberman get out here.

Sarge, killing Doberman
isn't going to solve anything.

No but in those long years
ahead, in the carpet slippers,

it will be something
to look back at.

Sarge I tell you if you tell her
the truth, you've got nothing to...

Tell her the truth, it's all
you know, tell her the truth?

The only thing that can save me

is if she's going
to turn me down,

and her pride is
saved and I'm saved.

Motor pool. It's
for you, it's Joan.

Joan? See that, I knew
she changed her mind.

Hello Joanie, if you change
your mind, I'm, all right

I'm bleeding internally
but I have to accept.

- What?
- What is it Sarge?

Her folks are here.

Where are they? They're
at the Roseville hotel?

Yeah, all right. Well I...

She wants me to meet her
folks, how do you like this?

Wants to see if her
folks approve of me.

How do you like...

yeah wants to see
if they approve...

Yeah, yes, I, no I don't
think it's a silly idea,

I think it's brilliant.

Why not? It's a good
common horse sense

after all you're their child.

They have a right to approve
of me and if they don't,

you have every right to throw
that ring right into my teeth.

Yes I will meet them
today at the hotel.

Goodbye dear.

Her folks have to approve of me.

I'm saved. Saved!

- But they will like you.
- Yeah you're very likeable.

Sure the Bilko we
know is irresistible,

but the Bilko they're going
to meet that's another story.

Tell Kadowski I will
have his ring back tonight.

I'd just like Joan to find a
quiet, steady young man

to fall in love with.

How are you momsy?

You lucky peasants
I'm your new son-in-law.

You must be daddy
boy, how do you do?

Ah huh! I got you with
the old buzzerooney.

Look alive pa,
you're in a big city.

Little candy for you momsy.

Oh! Got too much
on the fat side.

What did you do?
Marry her for money?

Something to eat.

- Give me your hat.
- You want my hat? There it is.

I will take yours.

Did you buy this or did it grow?
How about something to eat.

Will you have some?

No, no. Here just have
this breaded for me.

Oh.

'Heyaheyup', all ashore all
ashore that's going ashore.

I've got run I will
see you later popsy,

duty calls in the poolroom,
goodbye, it's been fun.

No, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Young man, your behavior
is somewhat of a surprise.

Yeah? What did
you expect, a dud?

No but someone who at
least has some of the qualities

of this state
flower in my lapel.

A flower that represents
dignity, and courage.

Take a close look at
this flower young man.

- Oh, I got him mother!
- You sure did Dad.

Ernie you're all right.

Here I've got
something else for you.

Try that there.
- You got him again dad!

Oh yeah, from Joanie's letter,
we thought you were a real dud.

It's our one real
weakness, practical jokes.

Here is a little
engagement present for you.

Thank you.

Oh Ernie I'm so proud
of you. What did you do?

Mommy and daddy
are just wild about you.

Folks are crazy about me.

I'd given them both the
hot-foot, we'd be married now.

Look Joan, about this afternoon.

Oh honey, my 2
maiden aunts came in

all the way from
Topeka just to see you.

They want to meet
you over a cup of tea.

Joanie, 2 maiden
aunts over a cup of tea

come on have a heart.

Now, honey we're
a very close family,

and it's very important that

Aunt Bertha and
Aunt Emily like you.

Oh I see, they've got
to like me too huh?

All right honey I will be there.

Tell them I'll be there for tea.

Goodbye honey.

Roc, get me a pint
of corn whiskey.

Whiskey in Kansas?
It's a dry state.

What difference... I mean get a
whiskey bottle and fill it with tea.

It doesn't make any difference.

I've gotta have tea
with 2 maiden aunts.

What's the matter, kids?

Don't you wanna open up
the door for a gentleman.

I know who you are..
You're the sisters.

Which one is Zsa Zsa?

Funny stuff I do. Oh
you, you think I'm drunk.

It's not true, I'm
fighting a cold.

I'm been fighting
it for 14 years now.

Eeh! How about that?

I want to know the truth;

you won't tell anybody
if I told you something.

I'm drunk as a skunk.

Drunk, loaded! So what?
Stop moving around,

Kid, I can see 19
Aunts in front of you.

So I'm drunk, what about it?
Go ahead tell Joanie's folks.

They will tell Joanie and
she'll take the ring back.

It's okay with me.

Drunk! What are you
going to do about it?

Bertha, will you take
the gentleman's hat.

Yes I will Emily.

Your hat sir.

What are you
drinking that stuff for?

Why don't you join us?

You?

We've been on
martinis all afternoon.

We won't tell Joan's folks.
- You won't tell Joan's folks?

No, they're a nice
couple but awfully square.

Sarge, I got to have that ring.

My girl doesn't
believe I got it.

I got to go to the
Colonel's for a reception.

And you've got trouble.

But Gloria is getting mad.

Well, tell her to call
the engagement off.

That's what she wants to do
but she has to have the ring first.

- Sarge please.
- Look, give me time, will you please.

Let's go Ernie,
she's all gassed up.

- We can catch the first show.
- Tessie is the torso in town.

Come one Sarge, we're
going to the burlesque show.

- Sarge, the burlesque show.
- Without me.

You're not going?

You're the iron
man on the runaway.

If you don't go tonight
you'll stop your 8 year streak.

He even went once
when he broke his glasses

and all he could do was listen.

No will you stop, I got to
go to this wedding reception,

I don't want to
go, but I got to.

It's Thursday
night, family night.

Sarge, Tessie will miss you.

Sarge, without
you they'll make us

sit way back in the second row.

I can't go, I told you I
gotta go to this reception.

Tell them you had to go
and see your sick aunt.

Oh that's clever. I
haven't even got an aunt.

Go tell her... Hey wait a minute

I met their family,

it's only fair she
meets my family, right?

Hello Joanie, this is Ernie,

look I mean my aunt Tessie
came into town unexpectedly.

Yes, no she is not a
Bilko, she is a Torso.

Yes, she is from the
French side of our family.

Her name is
Tessie la Torso, yes,

and I thought I'd bring
her to the reception.

What time is the reception?

I think it's only fair that
they meet my family.

What?

7:30? Well I will see if
she can be there by 7:00.

- What time does the show go on?
- 7 o'clock.

Let me see if I
can time this right.

7 o'clock first thing that comes
on is a guy who walks down the

Aisle and says all right friends

why are you removing
chocking our planks,

I've got a little nick-nack for
each and every one of you,

if you want any; they can't
stop me from giving it away.

And then the girls come out

and do the opening
course, hello, hello.

Then they're hello, hello,
and then the straight man

comes out with the tuxedo,

girls I expect you in a couple
of minutes, here they come now.

And then Shortie in
ranks comes and says;

this must the place.

Meet you around the
corner in half an hour.

Braauw, brauw and
do the whole thing.

And then the Princess Marquita

comes up with the
disappearing dogs, right?

Then the whole thing
starts with the big ballet,

girl of tomorrow, do
you have the time tonight

and then Tessie comes out.

Girl of tomorrow, bum,
bum bumbee, bum bum,

then they have
to do another one,

and then she will too many
bows, we'll be there at 8:20.

- May I come?
- Wait a minute.

- That was a man.
- Come in.

- Hi girls.
- Oh, it's you Ernie.

Hey where is Tessie.

- Who cares?
- I care.

Look I've got very
important date tonight.

I need a dignified companion.

Where is she?

Ed, you're like
a dirty filthy bum,

I want that spotlight
the next time.

This is the last time
I play this garbage.

And you, you dirty little rat.

You keep your
filthy hands of me.

That dirty little crooks
have been stealing my act.

- You're a liar.
- Oh I am, am I?

Now Ernie, you know I
was the first one to do this.

Look I don't know, I...

Well she stole it, and
I'm telling the manager

to get rid of her or I
ain't moving a muscle.

Turn blue.

Now Ernie you
know I was the first.

- Tessie I...
- I wrote Washington

they won't let me patent it.

Tessie I want to...

When your own
government won't protect you.

- Tessie I have something.
- What is this, Russia?

Look Tessie, I didn't come
here to discuss politics.

I've got something
important to tell you.

Look, there's a guy in town
from the south, a real live one.

- Loaded.
- Oh is he loaded and look.

The only difficulty is his wife
is along, she is very jealous.

I'm going to pass
you off as my aunt.

- His wife is along?
- Oh don't worry.

She is very nearsighted;
she'll never know the difference.

And now you do this
thing right you can't miss.

You know what this means,

you've always wanted
to do your own show,

"Death of a Salesman."
- Yeah a musical.

See, you have
nothing to worry about.

I will have one of
my boys pick you up.

Paparelli is his name.
- Don't worry I'll be there.

I'm depending on
you. So long kids.

- My own show.
- Big deal.

Okay girls, teddy bear number,

- That's us.
- Watch that wiggle stupid.

Get lost.

- Hey Popeye?
- Yes ma’am.

You're the soldier that's
driving me to the blow out?

- Yes ma’am.
- Well hang around.

Jeez the Sergeant
must think a lot of you

taking you to meet
his girl and her folks

at the Colonel's reception.

His girl and her folks.

At the Colonel's house
saying I'm his aunt.

I guess he's seen you so often,

he thinks of you
as part of the family.

Family?

No one has ever thought
that much of me before.

Oh Mrs. Hall, we do appreciate
all you're doing so very much.

Oh we're so happy to have
you. May I get you some tea?

No, thank you, we
brought our own.

Oh Sgt. Bilko
don't be so nervous.

I'm sure your aunt
will be here in time.

Oh I just want everything to
go perfect when she gets here.

Colonel do you
have records here.

Do you have Gene Krupa's
record, of Girl of Tomorrow?

He's certainly devoted.

You must be very
fond of your aunt.

Oh good heavens yes,
I've been looking up to her

since I was a little boy.

That must be them, it's the car.

I'm so anxious to meet her.

Folks, will you, will you
leave room for a runaway.

I mean a little
room here please.

Oh pardon me madam.
I was sure she'd be here.

Pardon me.

Lady was there a girl out
here who was dressed with ah...

Ernest, it is I,
your aunt Teresa.

Tessie, Tessie
you're my only hope.

Don't worry, I
won't let you down.

I know but what are
you doing Tessie?

You're dressed in
some, Tessie what is it?

Son, won't you
please do the honors.

Oh yeah, this is my aunt Teresa.

- Oh she is lovely.
- This is Colonel and Mrs. Hall.

Charmed, but haven't
we met some place before.

No colonel, no, you didn't.

Don't tell me I
never forget a face.

A face?

Oh thank you colonel no one
has ever said that about me before.

- She is adorable.
- Oh Bilko we must see more of her.

- More of her?
- You heard dad, he want's to see.

Tessie go, go, go. Bum bum bum.

- He said...
- But I am going.

I'm going back
home to Charleston.

Charleston, oh it's
the Southern beat.

This must be the place.

You know the southern, go
show them, tell them the truth.

I certainly will.

I want you folks to
know he is the nicest boy

- I've known in my whole life.
- No, why did you?

Joanie come in and
meet Ernest's Aunt.

Why Ernest she is beautiful.

Joanie, I never, where
have you been hiding.

- Welcome Aunt Teresa.
- Oh thank you.

Thank all you
wonderful married people

for showing me the way.

Thank you. Thank you Ernie.

John isn't she wonderful.

I'm sure I have seen
here somewhere before.

Isn't she a member
of your Garden Club?

The most touching thing Ernie.

My aunt has shown me the way.

Hey! Let's make
that announcement.

Oh ready, come on put
that ball and chain on me,

throw away the
shackles of bachelorhood.

I'm ready let's go.

Sacrifice me on
the altar of marriage.

- Well what, what?
- Joanie, haven't you told him?

Haven't told me what?

Well Ernie my boy,
we're all crazy about you.

You're the funniest
guy we ever met.

I know that.

And from such a
nice southern family.

- She is charming.
- Isn't lovely.

And the fact that
you're taking it like this

shows that you've got character.

That is the way to be.
That's the way I always act.

Oh! What? Take
like what? Take what?

Well, there's nothing we can do,

Joanie is a woman and
she changed her mind.

Joanie, you mean you
don't want to marry me.

But I'm sorry Ernie, I just...

But Joanie you know
I'm crazy about you.

It's no use talking,
we pleaded with her.

But what do we...
what's this reception for?

Oh Joanie arranged
this for a friend of hers

who is getting married.

- Sorry we're late.
- Kadowski.

Oh, Joanie it's the
most beautiful ring.

Oh, it’s lovely Doberman
had such wonderful taste.

Now look, I was going
to tell you all about it.

Kadowski my boy congratulations.

Thank you Colonel.

Well, shall we all go into the
dining room and make it official?

Oh yes, fine.

If Joanie wasn't such
a stubborn little fool.

Joan?

Ernie, aren't you going to
come in and join the happy...

Now Ernie, don't be like a baby.

Now Joanie what
are you doing to me?

You know I'm crazy about you.

When I get engaged I don't
want it to be by mistake.

I want it with a ring
that's meant for me.

I promise you first
thing in the morning

I will get you your own ring.

No, after all I hardly know you.

Hardly, Joanie, we've been
going together for 5 years.

5 years spending every
Saturday night alone

while you're playing poker.

Joanie I promise you,
you'll never be without me

on a Saturday night again.

Is that a promise?
It's a promise.

My word of honor, we'll spend
every Saturday night together.

Well it's enough for me.

Where are you going
its Saturday night?

My girl is waiting.

Your girl, doesn't she know
Saturday night belongs to poker.

Look if you can't
convince your girl

Saturday night is poker
night you're no man.

- Shut up and deal.
- Oh yes dear.

- All right who's in?
- I'm in.

Okay, what do we play?

One eyed Jacks are wild, and
black 8s counting all flushes.

Announcer: The part of Joan

was played by Elizabeth Frazer.

Joan's father was Harry Stanton.

The mother was played
by Doreen McLean.

The two aunts were Philippa
Bevans and Viola Roache.

Tillie the Torso was
Virginia De Louse.