The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 2, Episode 23 - Rock 'n Roll Rookie - full transcript

Elvin Pelvin drafted.

Rock & Roll idol to be G.I.

Elvin gets physical today.

Elvin sent to Ft.
Dix under guard.

Elvin Moved to Ft. Henry.

Elvin sent to Southern Camp.

Elvin moved to West Coast.

Elvin Pentagon problem.

An emergency meeting
of the general staff on...

Capt. William, Sir, I just
brought Elvin over from the hotel.

- Ah, you got through?
- Yes, but we lost a tank, Sir.



A tank?

There must be some
post in this Army

that we can send him to
without his fans overrunning it.

Well, I have 2 suggestions, Sir.

Huh? What?

First, we've been
sending him to big camps.

Perhaps if we found some
small isolated Army post

far from the crowds, where
he could be sort of hidden.

Ah, excellent! What's
the other suggestion?

Second, Sir, could you assign
somebody else to go with Elvin?

Look at the traumas, Sir.
- Nonsense, you'll go on with it.

Now, Captain, I want
you to find me the smallest,

most isolated post in
the United States Army.

Somewhere away from crowds,



hidden around the middle of
the country, maybe Kansas.

Somewhere where they've
never even heard of Elvin Pelvin.

Come on, hurry that up.

I've got to get
back to the kitchen.

Look, why don't you
get somebody else

to type up your Mess Hall menus.

- Oh, come on.
- You spoil my appetite.

Oh, come on, come
on. Type that up.

That's chicken fricassee.

You know something, Grover?

Today I've got a feeling
it came out just right.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I just got that feeling.

I like the way it
stuck to my hand.

Oh, boy.

Billie, who is that Captain
in there with the Colonel?

Oh, he's from Washington.

He drove up in a staff
car with the curtains down.

Uh, maybe something's
gonna happen!

Are you kidding?

This is a Siberia, nothing
ever happens on this post.

Elvin Pelvin is on this post?

Colonel, please.

- Look, where is he?
- But Colonel.

Colonel.
- Get me my wife.

If she's not the first to know,
she'll knock my block over.

Colonel, that's exactly
what we're afraid of,

a fuss being made over Pelvin.

I understand. Sorry, I cracked.

- It's understandable, Sir.
- Thank you.

Now, most important is
where Pelvin is placed.

After all this
boy's a millionaire,

and under an
unscrupulous Sergeant

who might capitalize
on him like...

An unscrupulous Sergeant?
- Yes.

Now, according
to his aptitude test,

he shows a talent for mechanics.

- He has 11 Cadillacs you know.
- Yeah.

Well, after great
deal of thought,

the general staff has decided

that he be placed in the
Motor Pool section of your post,

under the Motor Pool Sergeant.

We checked, his name is Bilko.

The Pentagon
thought that one up?

Yes, Sir.

Out of all the Motor Pool
Sergeants in the United States,

they're going to put Elvin
Pelvin in Bilko's platoon?

Colonel, I don't understand.
It's out of the question.

If you want no fuss, you
better pick some other platoon.

Well, of course
you know best, Sir.

I've got a couple of other
Sergeants, Grover and Ritzik.

They're steady and
they're intelligent.

Are you sure that's the
way you spell tapioca?

I thought it's with 2 K's!

Sgt. Grover, Sgt. Ritzik,
will you step in here, please.

Yes, Sir.

We have a new
recruit on the post

and I am going to
assign him to one of you.

Oh, no.

Colonel I can't break in a
new man, give him to Ritzik.

Let him put him in the kitchen.

Oh no, you don't.

What do you think just
any slob can peel potatoes?

- Quiet.
- Here, Sergeant.

- Here are the papers.
- Hey, you take him.

- I'm filled up.
- Don't give me that, he said you.

Now, wait a minute,
men, I'm sure Elvin Pelvin

will make a fine soldier.

Look, I don't need an
Elvin... Elvin Pelvin?

The real Elvin Pelvin?

That's right. There's
his signature.

Uh! I've got his autograph.

No, give him to me.

I had it first.
- Men, stop it!

Oh, come on now,
he's going to my platoon.

No, he's coming with me to mine.

Give me those papers.

- Ten-shun!
- Shut up!

I am ashamed of both of you.

Colonel, I'm afraid
these men won't do.

Now, get out of here, and not
a word to anyone about this.

- Yes, Sir.
- Yes, Sir.

Now, Colonel, all that's left

is the Motor Pool
under your Sgt. Bilko.

Elvin Pelvin in Bilko's platoon.

The poor boy.

Colonel, forgive
me, but Elvin Pelvin

is not a poor boy.

He will be.

- Fender.
- Fender.

- Doberman.
- Doberman.

- Kadowski.
- Kadowski.

What's the matter with you guys?

Doesn't anybody get
money from home anymore?

- Mullen.
- Here, Mullen.

- Bilko.
- Bil... for me?

Where is it from? From
Ms. Marilyn Monroe,

that Finance Committee
they'll try anything.

- Fender. Fender.

- Tomson.
- Tomson.

What's with you laughing, boy?

Listen to this,
Sarge, from my girl.

If you run into Elvin
Pelvin in the Army,

get me a lock of his hair.

Hey, Sarge, wouldn't
that be something,

Elvin in our platoon?

Oh, simmer down, Papparelli,
a celebrity in this platoon?

No chance.

You know how the Army
picks people for this platoon?

They give them
an intelligence test,

those they find writing with
the wrong end of the pencils,

them they send to this platoon.

Come on, Sarge.

- Doberman.
- Doberman.

- Fender.
- Fender.

- Fleishman.
- Fleishman.

- You Zimmerman.
- Zimmerman.

- Fender.
- Fender.

- Kadowski.
- Kadowski.

Barbella. Doberman.

What's the matter, Sarge?

Nothing, nothing.

- Mullen. Mullen.

- Zimmerman. Zimmerman.

- Doberman. Doberman.

- Tomson. Tomson.

- Barbella. Barbella.

- Papparelli -
He is not the one.

Gomez.

What's the matter, Sarge?

Nothing. You, it just...

You know when you start
talking about somebody?

You start seeing
images in your mind.

You start seeing things.

Who did you see, Sarge?

Elvin Pelvin.

- Fender.
- Fender.

- Kadowski.
- Kadowski.

- Fleishman.
- Fleishman.

Yo!

- Zimmerman.
- Zimmerman.

All right, come on.

Come on! Come on!
Keep it coming, let's go.

We've got a lot of
work... what's with you?

What is it, Papparelli?

- What?
- It's him, him.

Him, him who? Him, him who?

Elvin! Elvin!

El... Elvin, you
mean Elvin Pelvin?

Yeah!

Stop!

Do you what this is?
Transmitted hysteria.

That's what this is.
But, Sarge, he is here.

Oh, stop it, Mullen.
You think you saw him.

I thought I saw him too.

It's the Freudian theory
of power of suggestions.

Freud came out with a theory

that in the neurotic mind you
can suggest just by thought.

Of course Spinoza denied this.

Have I got... Attention!

- As you were, men.
- Thank you, Sir.

Well, everything seems normal.

- Normal, Sir?
- Sergeant, congratulations.

The fact that you and your
men have accepted Elvin Pelvin

into your barracks with no
fuss, no hysteria, is a credit.

Just keep it that way, Sergeant,

just treat him as
a regular rookie

and he can serve
his 2 years with you

quietly and beneficially.

Carry on.

He's here! He's here!

Quiet, you meatballs!

On golden wings, $1 million
has flown into this nest.

Now, you heard the Captain,

show a fuss and it'll
fly right out of here.

A million dollars?

We're not gonna be greedy,
just a steady $10,000?

It's like if he sings,
how do we cut in?

Sure. He's in the Army now,

he's a member of our
platoon, he won't sing alone.

He'll sing with our glee club!

- We've got a glee club?
- We have one now.

Come on, that's the gimmick.

We don't know who he is.

That's the thing,
normal like every day.

Papparelli, I'm depending
on you, don't crack.

I'll try, Sarge.

Just act normal, like
any other day in the band.

Over hill...

And the caissons
go rolling along.

Well, I was sure these
duty rosters were in...

- Yes?
- I'm a new recruit.

Oh, you're the
new man, of course.

- I finished these forms.
- Good boy.

Let me see, what's
this name here? Edwin?

No, no. It's Elvin.

Oh. Elvin? Elvin Pelman.

I know an Irving Pilman
who was a dentist.

Would you know him?

Sergeant, it's Elvin
Pelvin. Elvin Pelvin.

- Is that an American name?
- Oh yes, Sir.

Oh, we have to be
careful do you understand?

This is the Army.

Let me see now, let
me see your dossier.

Former singer.

Oh, you were with the
Singer sewing machine.

Wonderful people,
they make a very good...

Now, let me see, were
you on bobbins or pedals?

No, no, Sergeant.

See, if you're good
with your hands,

I'll put you on carburetors.
We need men to work with.

No Sir, Sir, I was a singer.
You know, a vocalist.

Oh, good heavens, I thought
you were good on machines.

You see, I could put
you in the motor pool

if you knew something
about machinery.

Well, Sergeant. I'm
very interested in motors.

I've done a lot of
work on my own.

Now heavens, where
can I place you?

Oh, I have it, we'll put
you with the glee club.

Hey, you have a glee club?

Oh, yes. It's a wonderful group.

We just sing for little socials.

It's very good
propaganda for the Army.

I'll tell the boys, we're
glad to have you with us.

I'll get the boys
again Oh, I'm sorry.

Formation, on the
double, look alive.

I want to introduce a new
member of our platoon.

He's going to be
a barrack's orderly.

- This is Irving Melvin.
- Hi, Irving.

- Sergeant, it's Elvin Pelvin.
- Elvin Pelvin.

I must remember that.

I want you to meet
some of the boys.

This is Stash Kadowski.

We call him the passionate pol,

he's been with
us for a long time.

This is the veteran of the
group, his name is Sam Fender.

Hello, Sam.

- Dino Papparelli.
- Dino.

- This is Fielding Zimmerman.
- Fielding.

Yes, and I want...
let go of the hand.

I want you to meet Fielding
Zimmerman, Doberman.

Would you get him
away? Get him away.

Doberman will
tell you what to do.

Get rid of him, get rid
of him, don't let him...

You've got to forgive him.

See, as a child he
was very insecure.

He always grabs onto things.
- Oh, I see.

You see, I've got
something to tell you,

I tell a very few recruits.

You know something?
What just happened here,

the boys took to you
immediately, they like you.

You're one of the bunch.
Just one of the bunch.

That's the way it's going to be.

Doberman, on the double here.

Take this new recruit to the
furnace room, show him his bunk.

- Well, welcome aboard, soldier.
- Soldier!

Well, you know,
I can hardly wait

till tomorrow when I get
my uniform, my G.I. haircut.

- Haircut?
- Yeah.

- This way, Irving.
- No, it's Elvin, Elvin.

So long, now show
him where the bunk is.

Um... emergency!

- What is it?
- I forgot about that.

He's gonna get a G.I.
uniform and a haircut.

- Of course, so what?
- So what?

Haircut with the sideburns out?

Who would know he's
singing, who he is?

We'll have to give
affidavits to the audience

and tell them it's Elvin Melvin.

But, Sarge, he's
gotta get a haircut.

Yeah. Have no
fear, Bilko is here.

I just remembered, we've
got a barber on this post.

We'll do anything for money.

I'll handle it.

- Is it coming off?
- Is it coming off?

- Look at it.
- Man, o man, look at it fly.

- Yeah.
- How does it look?

Is he really getting
it close? Close?

It's real close.

- Feel.
- Man, o man, that's close.

How come there's
no mirrors in here?

It's like I told you,

when we had the bomb test,
it shattered all the mirrors.

Oh, I see. Keep cutting.

Keep cutting.

Hey, Reilly, hurry
up and get Elvin

into that Army
uniform, will you?

Well, and I got him fitted.

Jeez, Elvin, that
fits you pretty good.

Thank you.

Are you sure this is a
regular Army uniform?

Sure, standard G.I.

That's our new fatigue uniform.

Yeah, I've got one just like it.

Right, fellows, we're
gonna get moving...

Where's Elvin? I
thought he'd be with you?

Here I am, Sgt. Bilko.

I want Elvin. El...

That's Elvin! How
do you like that?

I didn't recognize him,

he looks like any other
G.I. with his uniform on.

It looks... let me see
the back of it, it looks fine.

Fine, oh yeah.

All right, so we've got to
take a picture of the glee club.

Here we go.

Now, give me big smiles,
just like the class pics.

- Everybody say cheese!
- Cheese!

Oh, wait a minute,
it doesn't balance,

the picture's all out of the...

Ah, Doberman, change
with Ervin, let him get in there.

- Elvin.
- Elvin, yes stand over there.

All right, now a
big smile, hold it.

Wait a minute, you change
with him, change with him.

Yes. See, it's a better line,
it's symmetrically better.

Oh, here we are, ah...

Fleishman, change
with Elvin, get him there.

All right, now we've got a good
smile, big smile, cheese, oh wait,

Will you guys lean down?
Just a little, give it a little...

You guys, lean
down. Ah, that's fine.

Will you boys in the
back lean a little? That's it.

- Hold it, cheese.
- Cheese!

Bilko, what do you want
from me? I've got a nightclub,

I can't book no
soldiers' glee club.

My patrons want personality.

Oh look, our glee club
is full of personality.

Soldier, don't waste my time.

You see something you like?

- Who, who's this?
- Oh, that's Papparelli.

- No, no, this guy right here.
- Which one?

- Who's the guy right here?
- Doberman?

No, this guy right here.

- Well, their names
are on the back.

This guy right
here with the hair.

- With the hair?
- Oh, that's Gomez with the hair.

No, this guy right here.

Now just a minute, the
names are on the back,

I'll finally see.
4th from the right.

1, 2, 3, oh, that's
Elvin Pelvin.

He's a new man,
just got in the Army.

- Elvin Pelvin?
- Yes.

He just came in the Army?

Look, if you don't
like him, I'll take him...

Oh no! No, no.

If you don't want him
I can get rid of him.

No, no.

If he's a member the
group, just bring him along.

Oh, that's wonderful.

That means you're
going to hire us?

Oh, why not? I was
a soldier myself.

I like to see the G.I.s
make a few extra bucks.

Oh, isn't that
terribly nice of you.

We appreciate it. Now,
what are you gonna pay us?

Well, for Saturday
night, let me see now.

- I can go as high as $30.
- $30? Oh, that's swell.

However, there are 11 of us,

and then... could you think of
a more even, a round number?

- Like what?
- Like $3,000?

- $3,000?
- Well, if you don't want it...

- It's deal.
- It's a deal?

- I'll draft a contract.
- Look, if you don't like it...

Colonel just sent for me, Sir?

I'm very sorry to
bother you, Bilko.

Well, Sir, this Saturday night

the boys and I thought
we'd go into town, Sir.

Town? I don't think
you can get there.

Really?

The roads are jammed,
the streets are mobbed.

I just got it over the radio.

Oh, of course, the movie
house has reconverted

they're gonna show more talking
pictures now, I understand, Sir.

It'll be nice.

I was getting really tired
of Rock and Rock myself.

It isn't that, Sir?

No, I think it's some other
attraction in Roseville tonight.

Really? I haven't seen the
papers so I wouldn't know.

Well, I have.

Oh, you mean this,
Sir? "Tonight! Tonight!

In the person and in
the flesh, Elvin Pelvin

at the Silver
Slipper", Elvin Pelvin?

Oh, that's that new
boy with us, isn't, Sir?

Quiet! Quiet, Bilko!

Elvin Pelvin is in the
Army, and he is no longer

to make any appearances
in front of the public.

Oh Sir, he's just a minor
member of our glee club.

He just does the
oompah-pa, oompah-pa.

No.

But Sir, the Silver
Slipper is crowded,

people are waiting in line, Sir.

- So is my wife.
- Oh, is your wife an oompah-pa fan?

- Get out of here.
- But Sir, if I could...

- That's an order!
- Yes, Sir!

Mr. Spicy did you say $10,000?

That's right, anything
Elvin puts on wax

sells a million copies.

You get me a wax of
Elvin singing anything

and I'll give you $10,000.

That's wonderful, Mr. Spicy,
$10,000 and a penny record.

I didn't say a penny a record.

Oh, but you will,
won't you, Mr. Spicy?

Joe, the kid's in
hands of thieves.

Get the record.

It's a deal.

Thank you,
Mr. Spicy, it's a deal.

It's a deal, we're in
the record business.

Yeah, but Sarge, Elvin says
he don't want to make records.

He won't even know
he's recording, look...

Bilko, if they find out I took this
recording machine, I'll have...

Oh, shut up, you're
getting your cut, aren't you?

Yeah.

You got the guy up there
with the microphone?

Yeah.

Now, the minute he starts
to sing I want that mic let in,

do you understand? And
keep the machine going.

- I know, I know.
- Just watch it.

- Hi, Sarge.
- Hi, hi.

Hi, fellows, playing
a little poker?

- Yes, Sarge.
- Hey, you've got a guitar there.

Hey, Elvin, I didn't
see you standing.

I like to monkey
with the old guitar.

Ever played one of these things?

- Oh, I used to.
- A lot of fun, ain't they?

- Yeah.
- Say, I wrote a song.

Say, that's cute, Brown
Suede Combat Boots.

I wrote that. Say,
fellows, I wrote a song,

would you like to
hear me sing it?

I say I wrote a song,

would you like to
hear me sing it?

Come on, Sarge, come on.

Please, I'm a little shy,
I couldn't sing alone.

- Oh, sing a song, Sarge.
- Will you all join in with me?

Yeah.

Now, I've got to stand inspection,
before they let me leave,

if I fail that old inspection,
tear the stripes off my sleeve,

but don't you step on.
- Step on.

- My brown suede combat boots.
- Combat boots.

- Oh, you rock.
- You gotta rock.

- You gotta roll.
- You gotta roll.

You gotta rock, you
gotta roll, bring it in...

You gotta rock, take it up...

Go bar, go bar. Cut! Cut!

What's wrong son?
Ain't you having fun?

- Yeah!
- Oh man, latch on, join in.

Well, I know I gotta
drill, I know I gotta fight,

wake me up each morning
by the dawn's early light.

- But don't you step on.
- Step on!

- My brown suede combat boots!
- Combat boots.

- Yes, you gotta rock.
- You gotta rock.

- You gotta roll.
- You gotta roll.

You gotta rock,
bring it in, take it Elvin.

Ta tu ta tu, go Elvin go, go!

Cut!

Come here.

What's the matter son,
having trouble at home?

No.

Ain't you having any fun?

Oh yeah, but that's why I
can't sing rock and roll songs.

What do you mean?

Well, you see, rock and
roll is really the blues.

Oh, you don't sing
that kind of music.

No, I always did.
But I was always blue.

I don't understand.

Well, you know,
singing in big cities.

Well, I always got so lonesome.

I always sang the blues.

I was lonesome for my
home in the south, you know?

Lonesome for your
home in the south.

- Yeah.
- That's what makes you sing.

It's understandable.

He only sings when he's
lonesome for the south.

Cotton, where's the cotton?
Come on, honeysuckle.

- Fleishman?
- Yeah.

Fleishman, let me
hear the mocking bird.

- Ok, outside.
- Right, here he comes.

Sarge, Sarge, he's coming.

All right, all right.
Where's the hat?

And I'll sing one song,

for my old Kentucky home

Hi, you rebel. How're you,
son? Won't you squat and join us.

You see, we're celebrating
memories of home night.

Memories of home night?

- Yeah, shucks.
- Well, that's beautiful.

Sure, all us southern
boys get together

one night a week,
you understand?

- Are you boys southern?
- Southern?

Zimmerman, give him some grits.

Oh, those memory of home.

Around now, when
the sun goes down,

you can smell the perfume
of that magnolia in the air.

Can't you just smell it, son?

- Yeah.
- I hear you.

You know, at around
sundown Mr. Mockingbird

let's you know he's around
with his evening song.

Yeah.

Mr. Mockingbird lets you know
he's around with the evening song.

- Can you just hear it, son?
- Yeah.

Yes, long around evening
time all of field hands come in

from picking cotton.

- Can't you just see him, son?
- Yeah.

Yeah, it's a lucky thing.

All southern boys, we all got a
song that reminds us of home.

I've got a song that
reminds me of home.

You've got a song
that reminds of home?

Oh, yeah.

Now look, Elvin, why don't you sing
that song that reminds you of home.

And, ba ba ba bam...

- I say, Elvin?
- What?

Why don't you sing
that song you've got

that reminds you of home, son?

You mean, you
really want to hear it?

- Sure enough, and...
- Ba ba ba bam.

Shucks, I forgot
it's Saturday night.

- Saturday night?
- Yeah.

You see, Sergeant,
I've got a rule.

I never sing on Saturday night,

'cause I gotta save my
voice for church on Sunday.

- Good boy.
- He sings in church on Sunday.

It's a pleasure to see faces
I haven't seen here in years.

You will all rise, please?

We will sing Rock of Ages.

It's on page.. Bilko?

Oh, chaplain, you
don't think that I...

- You do.
- Take it away.

Rock of ages cleft for me...

Hen, that Elvin won't
open his mouth, he's a clam.

Let's face it,
Sarge, he's happy.

The happier he is,
the poorer we get.

He's been here a week,
not one note out of him.

- Sarge.
- Stop with that paint.

What do you want?

Elvin and I need
some more paint,

if you want us to
finish that north fence.

There's some paint under
the stairs in the barracks.

Get a requisition.

What's with that Elvin? He's
crazy about work, work, work!

- He sings nice.
- He sings?

- Yeah.
- He sings to me all the time.

That's the luck I'm in.

With Doberman he sings, you see.

It’s funny Elvin takes
to Doberman, Sarge.

Elvin told me why.

He says Doberman's eyes remind
him of his hound dog back home.

You see, when you're in
the kind of a lucky streak I am,

everything goes wrong.
I can't get him to sing.

But for Doberman he'll sing.

He, he sings for Doberman...

- Get Doberman back here.
- Right, Sarge.

Get Grover with all the machine.

Right on the double.

Are you sure this will work?

It's gotta work.

He's got a mic, short wave pack.

Anything that's said
within 10 feet of him,

we've got it on the record.

Good boy, Grover.

See, Doberman? You're
a regular radio station.

Sarge, why does it
always have to be me?

Because you're
adorable, that's why.

You're the only guy
that Elvin will sing for.

Now look, there's
$10,000 riding with you.

Do you understand?

You know what say? The
minute you see him say,

"Elvin, why don't you sing a
song?", do you understand?

"Elvin, why don't
you sing a song?".

That's a good boy. Now
go and do as I told you.

- "Elvin why don't you sing..."
- Turn it on.

- What's that?
- Doberman's footsteps.

- Oh, you've got enough record?
- For an hour.

Ok. What happened?

I don't hear the
footsteps anymore.

Shh! Shh! He's
walking on the grass.

I think he's
approaching the fence.

Hey Duane, did
we get that paint?

- Yes Elvin, here.
- Good.

How about singing us a song?

- Oh, he remembered.
- Oh, sure.

You know Doberman? The only
place I can sing is around you.

He's going to sing.

It makes me want to sing too.

I'll kill him. I'll kill
that Doberman!

Hey, Duane, do you know
that song Beautiful Dreamer?

Yeah, "Beautiful
dreamer, wake unto me..."

With my own hands I'll kill him.

I give you my word
I'll strangle him.

"Starlight and dewdrops
are waiting for thee."

Hey, you've got a
nice voice, Duane.

Thank you.

Another one I like is
that Camptown Races.

Yeah, "Camptown
ladies sing this song,

Doo-da, doo-da..."

I give you my word,
every bone in his body

I will personally break.

Do you want me to turn it down?

No, we may have an album here,

Duane Doberman
sings us out of a fortune.

Turn it up.

You know, Duane, for
the first time in my life

I feel like I'm among friends.

You certainly are.

That Sgt. Bilko, he
certainly is a nice guy.

- He is?
- Why, he sure is.

You see, Duane,
all through my career

people have been trying
to get me to do things,

but not Sgt. Bilko.

Why, he just accepted
me as a human being,

like he put me in the glee club,

I didn't even have
to try out for it.

- Ah, you know something, Duane?
- What?

Well, I wrote a song
about how I feel about

Sgt. Bilko and,
and all you fellows.

Say! Would you
like to hear it now?

An original song by Elvin!

Don't sing now,
let's finish painting.

Give me a rifle!
Give me a knife!

Quiet! Quiet!

No, Duane, this is the way I
feel and you just got to listen.

"Every man must have a
friend, now I have some too.

3rd Platoon of Company B

great guys through and through.

Zimmerman, Henshaw,
Fender and the rest,

these good men
are all my friends

but Bilko is the best."

Well, that's it. $10,000!

Well, come on, what's
the matter? Mail it,

the public is waiting!

This wasn't meant
for the public.

But, Ernie.

It was meant for
him, him and a rat.

But, Ernie.

What do you mean, but Ernie?

Now you guys heard
this song, didn't you?

You know it's for you.

You've got the
song in your hearts.

Now, we won't need this record.

Come on, let's help
Elvin with the painting.

Yeah.

Announcer: Also seen
in tonight's cast were:

Tom Gilson as Elvin Pelvin,

James Little as Sgt. Grover,

Joe E. Ross as Sgt. Ritzik,

John Gibson as the Chaplain,

Dan Frazer as Capt. Williams

and Sam Schwartz
as the nightclub owner.