The Phil Silvers Show (1955–1959): Season 1, Episode 15 - Rich Kid - full transcript

A real dirty trick.

Nice going, Fender.

Gee, guys, you'd think I
committed a crime or something.

All my wife did was have a baby.

The seventh one.

And every time you have a kid,

it costs us a hundred bucks
from the platoon welfare fund.

You didn't join
the Army to fight.

You joined it to break the bank.

Oh, look, fellas, look...

All right, you guys, formation.



Come on, fall in, let's go.

Formation, Sergeant Bilko.

Fender is ready to leave.

I know, I know.

Corporal Fender,
front and center!

Good morning, Daddy.

Found an easy way to
make money, huh, Fender?

That's your seventh kid.

- Sarge...
- Sarge.

I'm not against a
guy having a kid.

It's just the sneaky
way you go about it.

You wait till we get a hundred
bucks in the welfare fund

and then bingo... jackpot!

- Sorry...
- Sorry, Sarge.



It doesn't matter to you
we're raising this money

for a worthwhile cause...
To buy the saloon in town.

Doesn't mean
anything to you, huh?

All you think about is the
pitter-patter of little feet,

and the minute one
pitter-patter peters out,

another pitter-patter
patters in!

- Sarge...
- Sarge.

I got the car outside.

Oh, he's got the car.

Isn't it dangerous driving
with all those baby shoes

hanging down
from the windshield?

Here's your hundred bucks.

Get gone.

Sam... good luck.

Give Lena our congratulations.

Thanks, Sarge.

We-we're thinking of
naming this one after you,

calling him Ernie.

Do me a favor... call it quits.

So long, Sam.

Corporal Barbella,

how much money we
got left in the welfare fund?

15 cents.

This is not a platoon.

It's a walking potter's field.

Now, look... What is it?

Replacement for Fender.

They told me to report from
the replacement pool, sir.

Oh, well, new blood...
Always welcome.

Always glad to have new blood.

I see.

Well, welcome to Company B.

We... Hmm, nice ring.

Always like to see a soldier
who thinks of his appearance.

Know anything about motor pool?

I'm sorry, sir, I
never studied motors.

Oh, that'll work out... you'll
get to learn it after a while.

Zimmerman.

Rhinestone.

Oh, that replacement
officer did it again.

We need mechanics, they
send us bankruptcy cases.

Sir, I think I can
learn about cars.

I'm a college graduate.

He's a college graduate.

Rah, rah, rah!

Oh, boy.

Isn't that just great?

We have a college man.

No longer we have to worry
about wallowing in ignorance.

College man, huh?

- Can you type?
- Yes, sir.

Fine, you're just the
type for latrine duty.

Give him a mop.

Now, look, you fellas...

Once I wish they'd send
us a solvent case, once.

Well, I might as well put
in some more sack time.

If any officers come looking
for me, what do you say to 'em?

Sergeant Bilko is down
at the motor pool, sir.

Say it clear so they'll
understand clearly.

All right, here's this
morning's orders.

Mullen, you take
over Fender's details.

The rest, as they were.

Dismissed.

- Attention.
- At ease.

Have you a Private
Vandemere in this platoon?

Vande... Oh, the new kid.

Vandemere, on the double.

Where's Sergeant Bilko?

Oh, Sergeant Bilko is
down at the motor pool, sir.

Oh, good.

- Private Vandemere?
- Yes, sir.

Follow me... we can be
alone in Sergeant Bilko's room.

- But, sir, you...
- As you were.

Private Vandemere,

this is Mr. Watson, a reporter

- on the Topeka Press.
- Yes, sir.

Private Vandemere, huh?

This solves quite a
journalistic mystery.

This appeared in
yesterday's New York Star.

"Where is Tommy?

"Broadway
nightclubs are closing,

"chorus girls will have to get
along with last year's minks

"since the mysterious
disappearance

"of Tommy 'Golden
Boy' Vandemere,

"sole heir to the $200
million automobile fortune.

Where is he?"

So now you know. Now what?

Look, kid, this is
a pretty big story.

Richest boy in the
country joins Army,

wants to see how
the other half lives.

No, sir, it's not that I want to
see how the other half lives.

It's that I want to
see if I'm man enough

to live with the other half
and have them accept me

for myself and not
for the $200 million.

I'd give the entire $200
million for just one friend.

Please give me that chance
and don't print that story.

Okay. Good luck, Private.

Thank you, sir.

Pretty flimsy building to be
housing 200 million bucks.

Thank you.

200 m-mi-mi... 200 mi-mi...

Hey, Sarge, what
did those guys...?

200 mi-mi... Sarge,
what's the matter?

200 mi-mi...

Oh, a millionaire
in our barracks.

Why would a guy
worth $200 million

want to join the Army?

Why?

Maybe it's crowded at
the Riviera this time of year.

Maybe he just happens to
like chipped beef on toast.

Jerk, what difference
does it make?

He's with us.

We mustn't hint that
we know who he is

or he'll get out of
here like a shot.

You understand?

All he wants to
do is make friends.

Friends in this platoon?

And he's going to make friends.

I have found out
it's just as easy

to be the friend
of a millionaire

as it is to be the
friend of a poor man.

I haven't been able to
work this theory out yet,

but I believe in it.

Tycoon Henshaw.

- Yo.
- Formation.

Formation! Look alive!

Getting to like this kid
more and more every minute.

All right, formation!

On the double, everybody. Hup!

Don't rush like that, kid.

You're liable to trip
and hurt yourself.

- Are you all right?
- Yes, sir.

- Little out of breath?
- No.

It's good to have you with us.

Hey... men!

Here's what I want to
talk to you guys about.

We have a new
man in our platoon,

and it's about time I
alerted you to this fact.

This is a democratic army.

There's nobody better
than anybody else.

I don't care who you
are, where you came from,

who you been.

Here you're just a soldier.

I... Am I yelling
a little too loud?

Now, men,

I don't care if a man has
got 50 cents in his pocket

or 50 mi-mi-mi... Sarge?

I'll be all right.

Men, it's not important
what you got in your pocket;

it's what you got
in here that counts.

You're just a soldier here.

What are you
crowding this man...?

Give him a little space.

Don't stifle the man.

- Did you just cough?
- Yes, sir.

- Are you all right?
- Yes, sir.

All right, kid. Little
drafty in here?

No, it's all right.

We know no favorites here, men.

A man is accepted

for what he is. A
little smudge there.

Good to see you.

Now, men... You
just cough again?

No, it was me, Sarge.

Now, men, bear that in mind.

All right.

Attention!

Excuse me, that
means "attention."

Oh, yes, sir.

All right, men, dismissed.

Well, Vandemere, I hope
you like it around here.

Oh, it's fine.

You get used to us,

you're going to find us
a great bunch of boys.

This'll be your bunk right here.

You'll love it; it's
got cross ventilation,

it's very comfortable.

There's someone
in there, Sergeant.

Someone is?

All right, on the double, hup!

But, Sarge, this is my bunk.

Oh, it's your bunk, Kadowski.

Perhaps you've got a
bill of sale to prove it.

Get your stuff, put
it on the end there.

You had breakfast yet, kid?

No, sir, I was just on my way...

Here, go down to the PX snack
bar, get yourself something.

Oh, thank you, sir.
I'll pay you back.

Pay me back?

I don't want to hear those
words in this barracks.

We never use that word.

You need some money?

No, sir, but, Sergeant,
you gave me a dollar.

A dollar, ten dollars, a
hundred, thousand, a mi-mi...

It doesn't matter.

You needed money, I happened
to have it, you can have it.

Maybe the positions will
be reversed someday...

You'll have it and
perhaps I'll need it.

What difference does it make?

Get him down to the
PX, show him where it is.

Yes, sir.

- Bye, Sergeant.
- Henshaw, stay right with him.

Remember what
happened to Brinks.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay, Sarge, what's up?

Pouring money at him.

You give him my bunk.

Who is this kid...
your relative?

What's the matter?

Bilko's little chickens
getting jealous?

Bad, nasty sergeant took
away Kadowski's bunk?

You meatballs.

That was no soldier
that walked in here.

That was the
Paradise Bar and Grill

walking right into our arms.

Hey, Sarge, when are we
going to ask him for the money?

We've been buying him
things, giving him dough.

It already cost us nine bucks

just trying to make
him grateful enough.

Nine bucks, huh?

Get a load of this.

Vandemere Motors went
up an eighth of a point.

You know what that means?

Last night, while he was
asleep in our barracks,

he made close to
3/4 of a million dollars.

While he was asleep?

3/4 of a million.

You know something?

I'm getting to like this kid
more and more every day.

The platoon is killing
themselves being nice.

Yeah, I know.

Mullen and Kadowski took
him to the post movie last night.

Hey, Mullen bought him popcorn.

I don't want the
guys overdoing it.

You know, I caught Doberman
trying to give him a valentine.

He's sure got friends, huh?

Ah, you're a natural soldier.

One day in the Army,

and Bilko already made
him Acting Corporal.

Congratulations.

I think it's time for him

to show his gratitude
in a financial way.

Get the box.

It is zero hour.

Corporal Barbella, how
much money have we got

in our welfare fund?

15 cents.

Men, if this wasn't
for a worthy cause,

I wouldn't be
bothering you fellas,

but as you know,
we've got to raise $500

for a project that's
very close to our hearts.

We're going to
build a bird sanctuary

right behind the barracks.

Now, men, when Corporal
Barbella passes the box around,

so nobody will be embarrassed,

I want you all to raise
your eyes to the ceilings.

We will turn our back.

All right, Corporal Barbella,
pass around the box,

and, men, please be free to
give anything you can afford,

and don't jar my nerves
with the tinkle of silver money.

Let me hear that
comforting sound

of paper money
dropping into that box.

And, men, when that
box comes around

to you and you're ready to give,
just think this in your hearts...

It's for the birds.

Now, men, I know
that I can trust

and be proud of all of you.

Corporal Barbella, what
has this friendly gathering

given towards
our bird sanctuary?

The 15 cents is gone.

Men, somebody
just shot Cock Robin.

Why, you dirty...

No, no, no, please,
please, Corporal Barbella.

One man in this platoon
needed that 15 cents

more than the birdies.

Men, I think I sense
what's wrong here.

One of you men is evidently
of such fine character,

he don't want to embarrass
the rest of the platoon

with an enormous contribution.

I know that lack of
ostentation is to be admired,

and so that one man,
whoever he may be,

I'd advise him to see me alone.

Dismissed.

I don't know what else to
do; I gave my love to this.

- Sergeant Bilko.
- Yes, dear?

I mean, yes... The box, the box.

Sergeant Bilko,
isn't there something

I can do at the motor pool?

Hey, he wants to know what
he can do at the motor pool.

Oh, you're doing
a wonderful job.

You're doing a great job.

Did you ever see anybody
carry coffee in like he did?

Didn't spill a drop.

- It's amazing.
- Sergeant, Sergeant,

something is disturbing me.

Something... You
need any money, kid?

- What's wrong?
- Well...

I know what's wrong.

I sense it now.

For the first time in your life,
you're with a group of people

who are sharing
and sharing alike

and you feel that you're
not giving anything.

- I'm not.
- You certainly aren... I mean, you will.

You will.

It's just taking you a little
longer to show your gratitude.

Sergeant, I'd like to show
my gratitude right now.

- If you'll excuse me.
- Of course.

Get the box.

- No, get a big bag.
- How about a footlocker?

- A drum, a big...
- Shh, shh. Here he comes.

Like nothing happened.

So I said to the colonel,
I said, "Colonel, I will..."

- Sergeant.
- Yes?

Here.

This is a transfer.

Yes.

Somebody been bothering you?

You been bothering him
with your big mouth again?

- No, no, no.
- You been bothering...?

You been trying to
sell him that phony...?

No, Sergeant...

I'll break your body,
I'll break your body!

Sergeant...

Sergeant, the
boys are wonderful.

- That's just it.
- What's it, what, what, what?

Well, I-I don't know the
first thing about motors.

I feel I'm a drag
on the entire outfit.

What do you mean...?
You're a spark plug.

- The way he carries that coffee.
- Wonderful.

You could cry.

Oh, Sergeant, Sergeant,
the boys are so wonderful.

I don't want to drag
down your efficiency rating.

What's that? Efficiency rating?

Please, Sergeant,
get me a transfer.

All right, son, I understand.

After all, some of us
are born mechanics,

some of us are not.

All right, son.

I'll push this transfer
through for you.

Just take it easy.
Don't feel bad.

Walk down to the motor pool,
take it slow, think over things.

- I'll rush this through for you.
- Thank you, Sergeant.

So long, kid. Well,
he means well.

He's just a little
uncomfortable...

Transfer?! After the
money we wasted on that...

Run down to the motor pool,
take the shortcut, alert the guys.

Whatever he does is right.

I want him to be convinced
he's the best mechanic

the Army ever saw. Understand?

So don't forget
what Bilko told us.

Coffee anybody?

No, thanks. We don't
get this jeep started,

Bilko will murder us.

You ain't kidding.

Gee, I wish I knew
motors like you guys do.

Hey, Vandemere, give
us a hand, will you?

- Me?
- Yeah.

What do you want me
to do with this wrench?

Wrench?

Oh, yeah, you take the wrench,

and put in that
screw and turn it.

Screw? Where?

That's the screw.

That little thing
with the slot in it.

Oh, you want me to...

You want me to turn it?

Yeah. You take the
wrench... That end...

And put it right into that slot.

Like that?

Hey, this is fun.

What do I do now?

You turn it.

Well, which way?

Well, you turn it
in one direction.

If it don't work,

then you turn it in
the other direction.

From here on in,
it's in your hands.

Okay, fellas.

Here goes.

He turned the jeep!
He started the jeep!

All right, all
right, break it up.

Now you guys are
supposed to be working...

That motor... it's running!

What genius made that ro...?

It hasn't run in months.

Cut it.

That's the most
remarkable... That screw.

Rocco, look.

Who turned that screw?

Man, I have seen
screws turned in my time,

but that's the most amazing...

All right, come on, confess.

Some high-rated engineer

in the officer's corps
came in, and he helped you.

Come on, tell me. I won't bite.

Tell him, Van.

I turned it, Sarge.

He turned the screw.

You?

I-I should have known the
minute I seen these hands.

Hands?

Hands like this come
along once in a...

Did you ever see that?
A swivel-dick knuckle.

You never see that these days.

This man is born to...

But, Sergeant, I don't know
the first thing about motors.

With these fingers, you
don't have to know anything.

There's a brain in each finger.

And, gentlemen,
we can be well proud

he's in our platoon.

- Stop keeping us in suspense!
- How did Vandemere Motors do?

Went up a sixteenth of a point.

That means he made
roughly $200,000.

Ah.

In his sleep, no less.

When are we gonna get ours?

Look, you said he
needed friends, right?

Now he's got more friends
than a sweepstakes winner.

You said he wanted
to be a mechanic.

Today he's king
of the screwdriver.

All right, men, I think
the time has come

to take the bull by the horns.

That's no way to get milk.

That's no way to get milk.

That's no way to get milk.

We're not after milk.

We're after that $500 for
the Paradise Bar and Grill.

I think we'll take him
down there tonight

for a little relaxation.

Let him see what his
investment looks like, huh?

Tonight, gentlemen, I
believe he will meet Mildred.

The Barracuda?

She's a lovely girl.

Whoever gave her that name...

- You did!
- It doesn't matter.

Here he comes.

- Disperse. Disperse.
- Hi, Van.

- Hi, Van. How you doing?
- Hi.

Hello, Van. I was
just telling the boys

you look a little
tired, a little peaked.

I thought may...

Come on, what are you doing?

The boys gave me my own wrench.

Yeah, well, look,
you got to take it easy.

You're burning yourself out.

I think maybe tonight
we'll use a little relaxation,

a little female company, huh?

Well, the revelers are
here. Come on in, pal.

Hey, Sergeant,
it's a little crowded.

Maybe we ought to
go someplace else.

Well, I don't know.
We may... We may...

Oh, what luck.

Here's a table.

Hey, this is gonna be fun, huh?

Boy, he knows when
to live it up, don't he?

Hey.

Gentlemen,

the room is suddenly
filled with beauty.

It's Mildred.

Look at her.

Burning up to meet you, pal.

Go on, give her a break.

Say something
romantic. "Hiya, babe."

Hiya, babe.

- Drop dead.
- Sergeant, I...

- No, no, no, no.
- No, she loves you.

They're just nerves.
That's all it is.

Come on, look at her.

Look at her, burning
up with shame

at her ill-timed remark.

Dying for us to ask her

- to the table.
- Oh, please don't.

- I think I will.
- Oh, no.

Why... Mildred?

I hate to repeat myself,

but in your case, I'll
make an exception.

Drop dead.

Mildred, that ill-timed remark

you made to that
soldier over there...

Do you happen to know who he is?

- Is he in your platoon?
- Yeah.

Then I know all I have
to know about him.

He's broke.

Just once I'd like to meet
a guy from your platoon,

I'm not saying that
he buy me a drink,

but at least he
could pay for his own.

Just once I'd like
to meet-meet-meet...

That's him.

The Golden Boy.

Go-go... go... go...

Come with me, my
dear. Come gently.

Come with me.

Here she is, you lucky devil,

and she's just
dying to meet you.

I'm very pleased
to meet you, miss.

Mildred, he said he's
pleased to meet you.

- How-how-how...
- Shall we all sit down?

Oh, nothing better than
a little friendly gathering

of convivial people, huh?

After you. After you.

How do you do it?

How do you make
the catch of Roseville

fall in love with
you, you lucky guy?

Say something, Mildred.
Let's get in the conversation.

Huh? Has she got it?

Does her brain
work like that, huh?

May I buy you a drink, miss?

Please. You'll
buy no drinks, pal.

I'm buying the drinks here.

But I have the money
that you loaned me...

Oh, please. I'll have
nothing of it. Waitress?

Sarge, we only got
a half a buck left.

It's enough for five beers.

Tommy, what would...?

Where is he?

What did you do with him?

Tom, what are you
doing down there?

I noticed a loose screw.

Will you relax?

This kid's full of... He's going
around tightening the world.

What will it be?

What'll you have, Tom?

Anything Mildred
wants is all right with me.

Mildred, what will
you have to drink?

- Champagne.
- Champagne?

Champagne.

What do you mean,
you have no champagne?

- Who said we...?
- I never heard anything...

Did you hear that? No champagne?

We got it.

Why, this place
is a social desert.

- No champagne.
- All kinds.

Oh, please don't
talk back to me, miss.

No wonder they call
this the Snake Pit.

- Who calls it...?
- Oh, sure.

No matter what you order,
they try to switch you to beer.

- Beer?
- Five.

- Five beers.
- All right.

- Say something, dear.
- Mink.

- Mink?
- That's a friend of hers.

Irving Mink has a store...
she's always talking about.

This is fun. Tell
the truth. Isn't it?

- Oh, it's fun...
- Breaks away the monotony.

Look, I got some figures
here to prove something.

This joint right
here is a gold mine.

They're running
it into the ground.

You saw what
happened. No champagne.

They don't know how
to run it. I have figures...

Mildred, what'd you say?
Of course we'll excuse you.

Where am I going?

I know you, darling.

You're dying to say hello

to your closest
friend, Sophie Bisel.

We'll excuse you,
dear. Run right along.

- She can drop dead.
- Mildred, please.

I don't want it on my conscience

that you snubbed
your best friend.

Go right ahead,
Mildred. We'll excuse you.

- Don't go away.
- Now where were we?

Well, you said this
place was for sale.

Oh, that dream of mine.

It's always in my
mind and in my...

But you don't want
to hear about that.

- No.
- But listen, this is a gold mine.

This would be
security for the platoon

for the rest of their life

if they just had money
to buy this place.

But you don't want
to discuss business.

- No.
- Security.

For the rest of their lives.

When I think of all
the money I wasted

that I could have
put into this place.

Sarge, it's a shame.

You who have given
such happiness to others

without ever being repaid.

Oh, please, Corporal, don't
speak to me about being repaid.

I have lived long enough to know

there's no such
thing as gratitude.

- There is gratitude.
- There is?

Yes. You fellas have taken
me, a nobody, into your hearts.

You've given me money, you...

Oh, we don't want
to discuss that. Go on.

Well, Sergeant Bilko,
it's time I repaid you...

Oh, I don't want that large
amount that you would...

by giving you some good advice.

If you give... Advice?

Yes. I may not
know about motors,

but I know about business.

Why, if you were to buy
a place like this place,

why, it would be just like
throwing away your money.

Those mortgages
alone would strangle you.

I'm very glad that I
had this opportunity

of returning your friendship.

Tommy.

Oh, Mildred's calling
me. Excuse me.

- Why that dirty little...
- How do you like that?

At least Rockefeller gave
you a dime once in a while.

The money we
wasted on that kid...

Lunches, identification
bracelets...

He broke us.

Well, there goes
my golden dream.

Yeah, well, we can
stop dreaming now.

All right, get the
platoon together.

We've got to get
back before lights-out.

Come on, you guys! Let's go!

- Sergeant Bilko, wait a minute.
- For what?

Well, I've just been
doing some thinking.

- Got some more advice?
- No, I'm ashamed.

- Ashamed?
- I'm ashamed.

You never asked me what I did
with the money that you gave me.

Why should I ask you want
you're going to do with the money

- that I'm going to give you?
- Money you're going to give...?

How could you give...
You're just a poor kid.

- No, no, you see, my grandfather
- I'm sure you couldn't spare

- left me $200 million.
- The money.

I wouldn't take
money from a poor kid.

- You see, my name is...
- Tommy Vandemere?

- You're Tommy Vandemere?!
- Yes.

Oh! I almost wish
you had never told me.

Oh, I hope it's not going
to make any difference

in our friendship.

I'm not going to let
it stand in our way.

Oh, that's good, because
you taught me something.

You taught me to
share and share alike.

Well, Sergeant Bilko, here
is a signed, blank check.

You take whatever you need.

Oh, Mildred's driving
me back to the barracks.

Good-bye, Sergeant.

Whatever I need?

Whatever I need
of $200 m-mi-mi...

$200 m-mi...

Come on, let's go, you guys.
They're all ready, Sarge...

- Hey, what's that?
- A blank check.

With Vandemere's signature.

Who's got-who's got a pen?

- Sam?
- Yeah?

Sit down, my friend.

What is your last name?

- Adamapplelis.
- Adamapplelis.

Ada... It's a fine time to
come up with a name like this.

Just fill in the money. I'll find
someone to write my name.

Let me see now, uh, $500
covers the second mortgage, right?

- $500.
- Hey, wait a minute, Sarge.

Why should we get
stuck with a mortgage?

Right, strangles us. Right?

What's the entire
mortgage outlay?

- $3,500.
- $3,500.

Just a minute. Let me
figure something out.

Why should we pay rent?

That's money down
the drain, right?

What's the landlord
want for this building?

The landlord's asking $18,000,
but I think you can get it...

That's all right.

He wants $18,000,
we won't quibble.

He'll get $18,000.

We could put a
banquet room upstairs.

And across the
street, we put a movie.

- Good idea.
- How about a Russian bath?

Russian bath. -A fix-it shop.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Well, really. I'm
ashamed of you fellas,

taking advantage
of Van this way.

Let's face facts and
let's be true about this.

All we want is
what's coming to us.

The money he made while
he was in our barracks.

I figured it out.

It came to a million,
three hundred thousand.

He's right. No
sense being a pig.

- We've got to be honest.
- Honesty is the best policy.

I'm glad to see you guys
have a fair outlook on this.

Let me see.

One mi-mi... One mi...

- What's the matter, Sarge?
- I can't, I can't write it.

Let me try it.

Wait a minute!

- One mi-mi...
- Sarge?

- No, I can't.
- I'll do it.

Come on, let's face it!

- We can't go through with it.
- Sarge!

I knew when the time
came, we couldn't do it.

- Well, I can do it, Sarge.
- Oh, quiet!

Let's face this now, fellas.

You know this will
strangle us in later years.

This is all a subterfuge.
Who are we kidding?

Pretending we didn't
know who he was,

treating him nice just to get
to this... we'll hate ourselves.

Making his bed... when's the
last time you made anybody's bed?

And you, Dino.

Bought him an
identification bracelet.

But, Sarge, he's just
trying to repay us.

And he's going to. Every
cent that's coming to us.

What did you pay
for the bracelet?

Buck and a cuter.

- Who took him to the movies?
- Me.

- How many times?
- Twice.

- What was it?
- $1.90.

- Before 1:00?
- Yeah.

On your feet!

What's the matter, Sergeant?

Nothing the matter.
We just figured it out.

- You owe us $65.68.
- But, Sergeant?

That's the amount we
laid out while we were

putting on a little act that
we didn't know who you were.

You mean, you knew all the time?

Knew all the time.
Let's not discuss that.

Here's your blank check.

We figured, it's
such a small amount

you'd rather pay
us in cash... $65.68.

In cash? But I
don't have any cash.

I spent all the
cash you gave me.

All I have is the inheritance,
and I forgot to tell you:

I don't get that for ten years.

- Ten years?
- All right, now.

That's all I had to hear.

From now on, you're
just another dog face

like anybody in the outfit!

And stay out of my
bunk! Back on top!

Up top. Come on.

And you make your
own bed in the morning.

Yes, so you're going
to buck the line, pal.

And you're going to pay us
back out of your monthly salary.

Remember that... from now
on, you're just another soldier.

You do as you're done.

I'm gonna bend your
back straight, kid.

I'll get you under trucks.

I'll teach you how
to earn a day's pay.

You may have confused
us for a little while, pal.

You're just one of us.
Your money means nothing.

Get that $65.68 up.

Screw that in tighter.

And that's a screw,
kid, it's not a wrench.

A wrench is a thing
with two things in it.

This is a single thing.
That's just the beginning.

We'll show you what
an overlapping valve is.

We'll show you
what a piston rod...

You'll be a soldier
when we're through.

$65.68. We want to hear
from you from time to time, kid.

Cash!

Private Vandemere was
played by Mark Rydell.

Mildred, by Jane Dulo.

Waitress was played
by Dody Goodman.