The Penguins of Madagascar (2008–2015): Season 1, Episode 17 - Roger Dodger/Skorca! - full transcript
Hey, guys.
Marlene, you really have to say something
before you burst in on us like that.
Lucky we didn't set off
our habitat's new defense grid.
Tear gas,
blow darts, landmines,
the whole enchilada.
Isn't all that a little severe?
Is it?
One of these days,
you're gonna learn
that there's
only one universal language,
force.
And math.
Hm, right.
Force and math.
Music, also.
Force, math, and music are really the only
Laughter?
The point is,
we speak fluent force around here.
We feel safer knowing that
no one - and I mean no one
Can get into our lair.
I like happy frogs,
and belly flops
not big meanies
and special ops.
Hi. How are you?
Roger, how could you possibly
get through my defense grid?
Me? Oh, I just let myself in
through the front door,
over there.
Well, then, according
to the security protocol,
you are either an enemy agent
or our guest.
Are you sure it's no bother
if I hang out here for a while?
Well, actually, we might
Make yourself
right at home.
Home,
that's my problem.
Take everything that ain't nailed down,
then take the nailed stuff too.
I estimate the target
to be approximately 17 miles.
Make that 17 feet.
First they called me names.
Then they start
taking my lunch.
And now
Now they've taken your home.
And that ain't gonna fly.
But I tried everything.
I tried being nice.
I tried baking them muffins.
Mm, good point, Rico.
Have you tried hammering them
until they run crying
to their little rat mamas?
That sounds kind of violent.
If it's done properly.
Uh, I don't know, guys.
I don't think I'm comfortable
with you actually hurting anyone.
Oh, don't worry.
We're not gonna hurt anybody.
You are!
- What?
Go on, show them that
vicious primeval instinct.
But I'm not sure I have one of those.
What do you think these claws are for?
What about these teeth?
Well, they come in handy
for arts and crafts
and scrap booking and croch
Look at yourself, man. You're an alligator,
prehistoric killing machine.
Those are just rodents.
Now, all you have to do
is let nature take its course.
Say it.
Let nature take its course.
Let nature take its course.
Let nature take its course.
Gentlemen, I feel
How about you take
a course of this and this!
How about these
and those right there?
And how about over here?
Right behind you ear!
Nature can be cruel, gentlemen.
Well, fear not, Roger.
We will mold you into an instrument
of destruction and mayhem.
In order to coach you,
I need to know what I'm dealing with.
Take Rico for example.
He's clearly a world-class psychopath.
So we just kind of took
that ball and ran with it.
We can use any talent you have.
Well, there is one thing,
but I don't think
it's gonna be very helpful.
Nonsense.
Anything you say
will be helpful, anything.
I've always dreamt of being a singer.
When you hear
the night's last flush
then, my dear,
it's time to hush
one or two,
either number
says to you,
peaceful slumber
feel the drench
from the broken pipe
ooh, that stench it's
Okay. You know how I just said
that anything you say will be helpful?
Well, I was wrong.
Rico?
Naptime's over.
I think we just have to let
Roger be Roger, Skipper.
There's nothing we can do
to change who he is inside.
You're right, Pivate.
It's not like we can just take
Rco's berserker rage
and drop it into Roger.
Can we?
A mind switching machine.
Huh. Is this gonna hurt?
Just a little pinch
followed by the brief sensation
of a thousand suns
exploding in your skull.
Do I get a lollipop?
I don't know, Skipper.
Couldn't we just accept Roger
for who he is?
You're an idealist, Private.
We are now go to switch
the minds of Roger and Rico
using this
17-speed kitchen blender.
So after Rico trounces
the rats inside Roger's body,
we switch them back?
Exactly.
It's 100% foolproof.
More accurately,
it is 2.7% foolproof.
There's a 97.3% chance
that this will backfire
and result in a horrific abomination
that will be an affront
to the most element laws
of nature and the universe.
I like those odds.
Switching from grind to chop.
Now grate, cream, mince,
beat, whip,
crushed ice.
Really?
That's a handy feature.
Shred, liquefy,
puree!
Rico, talk to me.
No, it's me, Roger.
Roger?
- It worked.
- We did it!
Uh, Skipper,
if that's Roger,
then where's Rico?
Just take it easy there, Rodge.
Can I call you Rodge?
Where are those delish muffins
of yours, huh?
Wow, I can't believe
I'm doing all this.
I have such guilt.
But you have to remember, Roger,
that isn't really you.
Still, I really can't stand violence of any
What am I doing with all this horrible stuff?
This is terrible.
No, Roger,
you have to remember,
this isn't really you.
I thought you said
that wasn't really him.
Well, I...
Pick a lane here, Private.
Would somebody here please tell me
which one really isn't me?
Does it even matter?
He or you now has
his or your home back.
Mission accomplished.
No harm done.
Uh, that may not be
entirely accurate, Skipper.
I failed
to take into account
the warm blood/cold blood
differential in their physiologies.
It might cause
Rico's aggression levels
to spike to dangerously high
Whoa, stand down, Rico.
Rico? Rico!
Rico's never disobeyed an order before,
not even the time I...
forced him to suck the cobra venom
out of my left buttock.
He's heading into the city!
We have to stop him.
Me. It. That thing.
Get him!
The target is two inches away
and closing fast.
Private, get those wires ready.
Kowalski, stand by to re-switch brains.
And, Rico...
No, I'm Roger.
Right. Never mind.
But, Skipper, I can help. I can.
I want to.
Just tell me what to do.
Just tell me what to
You're just not cut out
for this kind of action.
You better sit this one out.
Now, boys.
Don't test me, Rico.
If I have to take out
one of my own, I'll do it.
Just ask Manfredi and Johnson
Whoa, stop, Rico.
Bad gator.
Bad gator.
When you hear...
That voice,
that angelic voice.
It's time to hush
one or two,
either number
says to you,
peaceful slumber
feel the drench
from the broken pipe
ooh, that stench,
it's mighty ripe
so swat the flies,
close your eyes
drift off to my stinky
lullaby.
Soldier, you can share
a foxhole with me anytime.
Aw, thanks, guys.
I feel like I could cry.
Do penguins cry?
'cause I...
We should probably get these two
back into their proper bodies.
My car!
Okay, people, from the top.
A-one, a-two, a-three.
I like happy frogs
and belly flops
Belly flops
Not big meanies
and special ops
lolly, lolly, lollipops
not karate-aty chops
bobby, bobby, bobby, bah
lollipops.
Marlene, you really have to say something
before you burst in on us like that.
Lucky we didn't set off
our habitat's new defense grid.
Tear gas,
blow darts, landmines,
the whole enchilada.
Isn't all that a little severe?
Is it?
One of these days,
you're gonna learn
that there's
only one universal language,
force.
And math.
Hm, right.
Force and math.
Music, also.
Force, math, and music are really the only
Laughter?
The point is,
we speak fluent force around here.
We feel safer knowing that
no one - and I mean no one
Can get into our lair.
I like happy frogs,
and belly flops
not big meanies
and special ops.
Hi. How are you?
Roger, how could you possibly
get through my defense grid?
Me? Oh, I just let myself in
through the front door,
over there.
Well, then, according
to the security protocol,
you are either an enemy agent
or our guest.
Are you sure it's no bother
if I hang out here for a while?
Well, actually, we might
Make yourself
right at home.
Home,
that's my problem.
Take everything that ain't nailed down,
then take the nailed stuff too.
I estimate the target
to be approximately 17 miles.
Make that 17 feet.
First they called me names.
Then they start
taking my lunch.
And now
Now they've taken your home.
And that ain't gonna fly.
But I tried everything.
I tried being nice.
I tried baking them muffins.
Mm, good point, Rico.
Have you tried hammering them
until they run crying
to their little rat mamas?
That sounds kind of violent.
If it's done properly.
Uh, I don't know, guys.
I don't think I'm comfortable
with you actually hurting anyone.
Oh, don't worry.
We're not gonna hurt anybody.
You are!
- What?
Go on, show them that
vicious primeval instinct.
But I'm not sure I have one of those.
What do you think these claws are for?
What about these teeth?
Well, they come in handy
for arts and crafts
and scrap booking and croch
Look at yourself, man. You're an alligator,
prehistoric killing machine.
Those are just rodents.
Now, all you have to do
is let nature take its course.
Say it.
Let nature take its course.
Let nature take its course.
Let nature take its course.
Gentlemen, I feel
How about you take
a course of this and this!
How about these
and those right there?
And how about over here?
Right behind you ear!
Nature can be cruel, gentlemen.
Well, fear not, Roger.
We will mold you into an instrument
of destruction and mayhem.
In order to coach you,
I need to know what I'm dealing with.
Take Rico for example.
He's clearly a world-class psychopath.
So we just kind of took
that ball and ran with it.
We can use any talent you have.
Well, there is one thing,
but I don't think
it's gonna be very helpful.
Nonsense.
Anything you say
will be helpful, anything.
I've always dreamt of being a singer.
When you hear
the night's last flush
then, my dear,
it's time to hush
one or two,
either number
says to you,
peaceful slumber
feel the drench
from the broken pipe
ooh, that stench it's
Okay. You know how I just said
that anything you say will be helpful?
Well, I was wrong.
Rico?
Naptime's over.
I think we just have to let
Roger be Roger, Skipper.
There's nothing we can do
to change who he is inside.
You're right, Pivate.
It's not like we can just take
Rco's berserker rage
and drop it into Roger.
Can we?
A mind switching machine.
Huh. Is this gonna hurt?
Just a little pinch
followed by the brief sensation
of a thousand suns
exploding in your skull.
Do I get a lollipop?
I don't know, Skipper.
Couldn't we just accept Roger
for who he is?
You're an idealist, Private.
We are now go to switch
the minds of Roger and Rico
using this
17-speed kitchen blender.
So after Rico trounces
the rats inside Roger's body,
we switch them back?
Exactly.
It's 100% foolproof.
More accurately,
it is 2.7% foolproof.
There's a 97.3% chance
that this will backfire
and result in a horrific abomination
that will be an affront
to the most element laws
of nature and the universe.
I like those odds.
Switching from grind to chop.
Now grate, cream, mince,
beat, whip,
crushed ice.
Really?
That's a handy feature.
Shred, liquefy,
puree!
Rico, talk to me.
No, it's me, Roger.
Roger?
- It worked.
- We did it!
Uh, Skipper,
if that's Roger,
then where's Rico?
Just take it easy there, Rodge.
Can I call you Rodge?
Where are those delish muffins
of yours, huh?
Wow, I can't believe
I'm doing all this.
I have such guilt.
But you have to remember, Roger,
that isn't really you.
Still, I really can't stand violence of any
What am I doing with all this horrible stuff?
This is terrible.
No, Roger,
you have to remember,
this isn't really you.
I thought you said
that wasn't really him.
Well, I...
Pick a lane here, Private.
Would somebody here please tell me
which one really isn't me?
Does it even matter?
He or you now has
his or your home back.
Mission accomplished.
No harm done.
Uh, that may not be
entirely accurate, Skipper.
I failed
to take into account
the warm blood/cold blood
differential in their physiologies.
It might cause
Rico's aggression levels
to spike to dangerously high
Whoa, stand down, Rico.
Rico? Rico!
Rico's never disobeyed an order before,
not even the time I...
forced him to suck the cobra venom
out of my left buttock.
He's heading into the city!
We have to stop him.
Me. It. That thing.
Get him!
The target is two inches away
and closing fast.
Private, get those wires ready.
Kowalski, stand by to re-switch brains.
And, Rico...
No, I'm Roger.
Right. Never mind.
But, Skipper, I can help. I can.
I want to.
Just tell me what to do.
Just tell me what to
You're just not cut out
for this kind of action.
You better sit this one out.
Now, boys.
Don't test me, Rico.
If I have to take out
one of my own, I'll do it.
Just ask Manfredi and Johnson
Whoa, stop, Rico.
Bad gator.
Bad gator.
When you hear...
That voice,
that angelic voice.
It's time to hush
one or two,
either number
says to you,
peaceful slumber
feel the drench
from the broken pipe
ooh, that stench,
it's mighty ripe
so swat the flies,
close your eyes
drift off to my stinky
lullaby.
Soldier, you can share
a foxhole with me anytime.
Aw, thanks, guys.
I feel like I could cry.
Do penguins cry?
'cause I...
We should probably get these two
back into their proper bodies.
My car!
Okay, people, from the top.
A-one, a-two, a-three.
I like happy frogs
and belly flops
Belly flops
Not big meanies
and special ops
lolly, lolly, lollipops
not karate-aty chops
bobby, bobby, bobby, bah
lollipops.