The Penguins of Madagascar (2008–2015): Season 1, Episode 1 - Launchtime/Haunted Habitat - full transcript
Sick of Julien's annoying presence, the penguins decide to take a vacation on The Moon. Once there, they meet a "moon cat" who seems to have some strange plans for the flightless birds.
The We Like To Move It Crew
presents:
Cute and cuddly, boys.
Intruder alert!
Hello, neighbor.
Those snack provisions
are for authorized personnel only.
Do not worry.
It is only I, King Julien,
who's borrowing your delicious food
for my stomach.
Yes, that is it.
"Borrowing".
And kick, punch,
chop, mulch, duck, spin, backflip,
twirl, bob and weave,
weave and bob, plie, punch, kick,
and...
punch.
Hello, neighbor.
Fore!
It is okay.
I have 400 more golf balls
where that came from.
I like golf.
I like flying.
I don't like drowning.
Look out. Coming through.
What the...
Hello. You've run out of juice.
Hello, neighbor.
What are you do...
But this is our home, our HQ,
our inner sanctum.
You can't just...
I can't hear you.
Television too loud.
Gentlemen, we need a vacation.
Vacation from that lemur.
- We could visit a zoo.
They have pandas and hippos
and lovely house of reptiles.
Private,
you do know we live in a zoo.
But we could visit a different zoo.
Kowalski,
calculate the furthest trip possible
from our present location.
Climate?
- Unspecified.
Elevation?
- Unimportant.
Lemur population?
- 0.0%
I've come up with two locations
that fit our vacation parameters.
I can't set foot in Denmark.
- Why not?
That's private, Private,
between me and the danes.
Very well, that leaves one location.
Gentlemen, we are going to the Moon.
And no, there's no zoo on the Moon.
We'll never get to the Moon
at this rate. Let's pick up the pace.
Men, I present to you the Penguin 1.
Is it safe, Skipper?
Technically speaking, maybe.
Say goodbye to earth, boys.
But, Skipper,
earth has some of my favorite things,
like cookies and oxygen...
And brown paper packages
tied up with string.
Kowalski, light this candle.
T minus five...
Four...
Three... Two... One...
Ignition.
Yo, Max,
do I look a little,
I don't know, chunkier to you?
I mean, I been exercising and all,
but no matter how I try,
I can't get rid of all this
succulent,
delicious, dark meat.
Just give it up, hairball.
You've never caught a bird in your life.
Never have, never will.
A shooting star.
I wish...
I wish for a bird
that can't fly away.
And...
I also wish the shooting star
doesn't hit me.
Hello!
Neighbors?
I would like to borrow
your toothbrushes
to scrub my hard-to-reach regions.
If you agree, say nothing at all.
I guess they agree.
This is an once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
As long as we are borrowing,
how about a little television?
You mean big television,
big and heavy.
Good point.
Let me think. Okay!
My brain is saying that the king,
which is me,
should not have
to lift heavy things.
I like heavy lifting.
Welcome to the Moon, boys.
Lemur population, zip, zero, nada.
Beautiful.
Oxygen reading's surprisingly high.
Moon cheese content:
disappointingly low.
Private, claim this rock
in the name of...
Penguins?
How did penguins get up here,
when they...
can't fly.
Thank you!
I'm picking up
a possible alien life-form.
Game on, boys.
Disperse and investigate.
Hello?
Aliens?
A Moon rock!
It's just a baseball.
That flew all the way to the Moon!
Hello.
Greetings, my little friend.
Excuse me,
are you a penguin?
Why? Yes, I am.
A flightless bird?
That means no flapping, no flying,
no resistance.
Kudos, Private.
You've discovered an alien life-form.
A buffet!
Skipper, this alien is
oddly catlike in structure.
A Moon cat?
Moon cat?
Greetings, Moon cat.
We come in peace...
for now.
You really think
that you're on the Moon.
Affirmative.
- Well,
good, because
you are.
Definitely.
You're on the Moon.
Welcome
to... the Moon.
They spotted the crash!
They want to take you away.
- Who exactly is "they"?
The evil Moon warriors.
We can take 'em.
But that beam is their death ray.
Death ray? Bring it on!
Look,
I refuse to let anything happen
to you guys.
You're coming with me.
And to think, he just met us.
Poor Mort.
Here, let me help you.
Lift with your legs!
Your tiny, tiny legs!
Your Majesty,
I thought for sure the penguins
would have this place booby trapped.
Mort, I am starting to think
you're not taking this job seriously.
Maurice!
- Hang on.
Moon cat,
I'm touched by your hospitality.
Well, it's time to eat!
And now he's making us a meal.
You, sir, are a model of kindness.
Do you hear that?
They're coming.
You better use my
teleportation machine to hide.
Teleportation?
That's pure science fiction.
Which is exactly
why I've had to disguise it
as a microwave oven.
It's top secret.
Camouflage?
Well-played.
It's a bit of a squeeze.
Maybe if you took off the helmet.
This Moon cat has opened
his home, his heart, and
his top secret technology to us.
Ten four on that.
He's downright neighborly.
Hello, neighbor.
Hello, neighbor.
Hello, neighbor.
Kowalski, maybe I need to sign on
to Moon cat's good neighbor policy.
Forget the microwave!
You mean teleportation device?
- Whatever.
No more fooling around.
It's time...
Moon cat is so right.
We can't fool around on the Moon
any longer. It is time...
time to go home.
Wait. What?
Thanks for everything, Moon cat.
Rico, gift him.
Food?
For me?
No one's ever, ever
given me a gift before.
Sorry.
You're quite welcome.
T minus five, four,
three,
two,
one,
Ignition.
Kowalski, status report.
I am randomly pushing buttons
while we spin out of control, skipper.
- Can I push one?
I'd feel better.
Prepare for splashdown.
Or crash down, as it were.
Hello, trap-happy penguins.
We were
just borrowing your...
It was Mort's idea.
Not to worry,
my ringtailed neighbor.
I've had a little attitude adjustment,
thanks to my visit up there.
Thanks for the fish!
So we didn't go lunar?
It seems I forgot to carry the two.
And there's no such thing
as Moon cat hospitality?
Looks like we have intruders, boys.
Commence operation hammerhead.
Excuse me,
hammer whose head exactly?
presents:
Cute and cuddly, boys.
Intruder alert!
Hello, neighbor.
Those snack provisions
are for authorized personnel only.
Do not worry.
It is only I, King Julien,
who's borrowing your delicious food
for my stomach.
Yes, that is it.
"Borrowing".
And kick, punch,
chop, mulch, duck, spin, backflip,
twirl, bob and weave,
weave and bob, plie, punch, kick,
and...
punch.
Hello, neighbor.
Fore!
It is okay.
I have 400 more golf balls
where that came from.
I like golf.
I like flying.
I don't like drowning.
Look out. Coming through.
What the...
Hello. You've run out of juice.
Hello, neighbor.
What are you do...
But this is our home, our HQ,
our inner sanctum.
You can't just...
I can't hear you.
Television too loud.
Gentlemen, we need a vacation.
Vacation from that lemur.
- We could visit a zoo.
They have pandas and hippos
and lovely house of reptiles.
Private,
you do know we live in a zoo.
But we could visit a different zoo.
Kowalski,
calculate the furthest trip possible
from our present location.
Climate?
- Unspecified.
Elevation?
- Unimportant.
Lemur population?
- 0.0%
I've come up with two locations
that fit our vacation parameters.
I can't set foot in Denmark.
- Why not?
That's private, Private,
between me and the danes.
Very well, that leaves one location.
Gentlemen, we are going to the Moon.
And no, there's no zoo on the Moon.
We'll never get to the Moon
at this rate. Let's pick up the pace.
Men, I present to you the Penguin 1.
Is it safe, Skipper?
Technically speaking, maybe.
Say goodbye to earth, boys.
But, Skipper,
earth has some of my favorite things,
like cookies and oxygen...
And brown paper packages
tied up with string.
Kowalski, light this candle.
T minus five...
Four...
Three... Two... One...
Ignition.
Yo, Max,
do I look a little,
I don't know, chunkier to you?
I mean, I been exercising and all,
but no matter how I try,
I can't get rid of all this
succulent,
delicious, dark meat.
Just give it up, hairball.
You've never caught a bird in your life.
Never have, never will.
A shooting star.
I wish...
I wish for a bird
that can't fly away.
And...
I also wish the shooting star
doesn't hit me.
Hello!
Neighbors?
I would like to borrow
your toothbrushes
to scrub my hard-to-reach regions.
If you agree, say nothing at all.
I guess they agree.
This is an once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
As long as we are borrowing,
how about a little television?
You mean big television,
big and heavy.
Good point.
Let me think. Okay!
My brain is saying that the king,
which is me,
should not have
to lift heavy things.
I like heavy lifting.
Welcome to the Moon, boys.
Lemur population, zip, zero, nada.
Beautiful.
Oxygen reading's surprisingly high.
Moon cheese content:
disappointingly low.
Private, claim this rock
in the name of...
Penguins?
How did penguins get up here,
when they...
can't fly.
Thank you!
I'm picking up
a possible alien life-form.
Game on, boys.
Disperse and investigate.
Hello?
Aliens?
A Moon rock!
It's just a baseball.
That flew all the way to the Moon!
Hello.
Greetings, my little friend.
Excuse me,
are you a penguin?
Why? Yes, I am.
A flightless bird?
That means no flapping, no flying,
no resistance.
Kudos, Private.
You've discovered an alien life-form.
A buffet!
Skipper, this alien is
oddly catlike in structure.
A Moon cat?
Moon cat?
Greetings, Moon cat.
We come in peace...
for now.
You really think
that you're on the Moon.
Affirmative.
- Well,
good, because
you are.
Definitely.
You're on the Moon.
Welcome
to... the Moon.
They spotted the crash!
They want to take you away.
- Who exactly is "they"?
The evil Moon warriors.
We can take 'em.
But that beam is their death ray.
Death ray? Bring it on!
Look,
I refuse to let anything happen
to you guys.
You're coming with me.
And to think, he just met us.
Poor Mort.
Here, let me help you.
Lift with your legs!
Your tiny, tiny legs!
Your Majesty,
I thought for sure the penguins
would have this place booby trapped.
Mort, I am starting to think
you're not taking this job seriously.
Maurice!
- Hang on.
Moon cat,
I'm touched by your hospitality.
Well, it's time to eat!
And now he's making us a meal.
You, sir, are a model of kindness.
Do you hear that?
They're coming.
You better use my
teleportation machine to hide.
Teleportation?
That's pure science fiction.
Which is exactly
why I've had to disguise it
as a microwave oven.
It's top secret.
Camouflage?
Well-played.
It's a bit of a squeeze.
Maybe if you took off the helmet.
This Moon cat has opened
his home, his heart, and
his top secret technology to us.
Ten four on that.
He's downright neighborly.
Hello, neighbor.
Hello, neighbor.
Hello, neighbor.
Kowalski, maybe I need to sign on
to Moon cat's good neighbor policy.
Forget the microwave!
You mean teleportation device?
- Whatever.
No more fooling around.
It's time...
Moon cat is so right.
We can't fool around on the Moon
any longer. It is time...
time to go home.
Wait. What?
Thanks for everything, Moon cat.
Rico, gift him.
Food?
For me?
No one's ever, ever
given me a gift before.
Sorry.
You're quite welcome.
T minus five, four,
three,
two,
one,
Ignition.
Kowalski, status report.
I am randomly pushing buttons
while we spin out of control, skipper.
- Can I push one?
I'd feel better.
Prepare for splashdown.
Or crash down, as it were.
Hello, trap-happy penguins.
We were
just borrowing your...
It was Mort's idea.
Not to worry,
my ringtailed neighbor.
I've had a little attitude adjustment,
thanks to my visit up there.
Thanks for the fish!
So we didn't go lunar?
It seems I forgot to carry the two.
And there's no such thing
as Moon cat hospitality?
Looks like we have intruders, boys.
Commence operation hammerhead.
Excuse me,
hammer whose head exactly?