The Owl House (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - A Lying Witch and a Warden - full transcript
Foolish child!
- I could swallow you whole!
- [hisses]
Do not underestimate me,
Gildersnake,
for I am the Good Witch Azura,
warrior of peace!
Now eat this, sucker!
No! My only weakness...
dying!
And that's the end.
The end of what?
My book report.
I think I knocked it
out of the park.
Your book report
is why you're in here.
[screaming]
Oh. That's where
the backup snakes were.
And what were you
going to do with this?
That was for
the Act Three closer.
Mija, I love your creativity,
but it's gotten out of hand.
Do you remember why you were in the
principal's office the last three times?
O happy dagger, give me death!
[people screaming]
Now for the final
anatomically correct touch,
spider breath.
[people screaming]
You think that's
an impressive trick?
Take a look at this.
Bleep, bloop, bleep!
[all screaming]
We all love that
you express yourself,
but if you can't learn to
separate fantasy from reality,
you may need to spend
the summer here.
Don't worry, Mom.
I won't let you down.
No more weirdness!
- [exclaims, shouts]
- [snake hisses]
That doesn't count, right?
Tsk. Oh!
Oh, my baby!
Now, don't worry.
Summer camp is only
going to be for three months.
You'll be so busy
balancing checkbooks
and learning to...
appreciate public radio,
the time will fly by!
But I don't like
any of that stuff.
I like editing
anime clips to music
and reading fantasy books
with convoluted back-stories.
Mija, your fantasy world
is holding you back.
Do you have any friends?
Real ones,
not imagined or drawn
or reptilian?
Summer camp is a chance
to make some friends,
but you have to try.
Can you do that?
Yes, Mom.
[phone vibrates]
Oh. I gotta go to work.
[kisses]
Your bus is coming soon.
Text me when you get there.
[speaking Spanish]
Bye, Mom.
[gasps] Where is it?
Where is it?
[owl hoots]
Tiny trash thief!
[panting]
[seethes]
[hooting]
Stop adorably
hopping away, you... Huh?
Whoa. I thought I had
a lot of weird stuff.
But this...
this is impressive.
- [woman] Finally, you're back.
- [gasps]
Now let's see
what we've got here.
[gasps]
Garbage, garbage...
garbage.
[gasps] Now, this...
This will make me rich.
And this...
Oh, this'll make good kindling.
[gasps] Excuse me, sorry,
it's mine, thank you.
You're not going anywhere.
[gasps, grunts]
[panting]
[gasps]
[screeching]
Ahh! [kisses]
Oh, no, no, no, no!
What's going on?
[shrieks]
Oh, hello, little fairy.
Are you going to tell me
this is all a fantastical dream?
- Give me your skin!
- [screams]
Where am I?
Did I die?
Am I in the bad place?
You wish.
I'm so sorry!
I just wanted my book!
And you're gonna eat my skin!
Just make it quick!
Just do it now!
Eat you?
Why would I eat...
a potential customer?
Can I offer you
a human foot filled with holes?
A bar of green human candy?
Oh, oh!
How about this black shadowbox
that reflects only sadness?
[chuckles]
That's not all it can do.
Here, let me see it.
[dance music playing] Wha...?
Huh?
What's that?
The sound...
it's so alluring.
I'll pay 40 snails
for the screaming box!
I'll give you a hundred! Can I
eat the tiny person inside?
[all clamoring] What did
you say your name was?
I'm Luz. Luz Noceda.
Well, Luz, that was pretty clever...
for a human.
That's kind of a weird thing
for another human to say.
Oh, dear child,
I'm not like you.
I'm Eda the Owl Lady,
the most powerful witch
on the Boiling Isles.
A witch?
I am a respected, feared...
Busted!
- Run! It's a guard!
- [all screaming]
Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted
for misuse of magic
and demonic misdemeanors.
Whoa! Witch criminal!
You are hereby ordered to come
with me to the Conformatorium.
Would you guys quit following me around?
I haven't done squat.
And you're coming too...
Aah!
...for fraternizing
with a criminal.
Wh-What?
That's not cool!
Oh, all right,
all right, you win.
Just let me get my stuff.
[groans]
Whoops.
Can't forget this.
Follow me, human.
This is crazy.
If I die here,
my mom's gonna kill me!
Ha! I won't
let 'em hurt you.
A human like you is much more
valuable to me alive than dead.
Wait. What's that
supposed to...
Whoo-hoo!
You won't get away
with this, Owl Lady!
Yeah, all right.
You did.
You got away with it.
She got away with it, everybody!
Typical.
[Eda] You can open
your eyes now, human.
[whimpers]
[gasps]
Flying staffs, crazy
monsters, you're a witch...
What is this place?
[Eda] This is the Boiling Isles.
Every myth you humans have
is caused by a little of our
world leaking into yours.
[screeches]
A griffin!
I knew it!
Yep.
Griffins, vampires,
giraffes... Giraffes?
[Eda] Oh, yeah.
We banished those guys.
Bunch of freaks.
[exclaims] Oops.
That happens sometimes.
Well, I've had enough
adventure for today.
This is clearly not the PG fantasy
world I always dreamed about,
so can you help me
get back home?
Only if you help me first.
[chuckles]
Ah, now, come along, human.
Whoa!
[cackles]
Aren't you worried about
those guards finding us?
Nope. My house has
a state-of-the-art defense system.
Hoot-hoot!
Password, please! Aah!
We got no time for this, Hooty.
Let us in.
All right, all right!
Geez!
You never want to have any fun!
Ow! Hoot!
[retches]
[retches, burps]
- Welcome to...
- [snaps fingers]
the Owl House...
[gasps]
...where I hide away from the
pressures of modern life.
Also the cops. Mm, also ex-boyfriends.
[chuckles]
This place is beautiful!
Do you live here all alone?
- [thudding footsteps]
- Actually, I have a roommate.
[deep voice]
Who dares intrude upon I,
[normal voice]
the king of demons?
[squeaks]
[gasps, exclaims in Spanish]
Eda, he's so cute!
Who's a widdle guy?
Who's a widdle guy?
Is it you? Is it you?
No! I don't know
who your little guy is!
Eda, who is this monster?
Oh, this is Luz, the human.
She's here to help us with our little...
situation.
Oh! Hooray!
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't like the sound
of this "situation."
Just... let me explain.
King was once
a mighty king of demons,
until his crown of power
was stolen,
and he became... this.
You mean this little
bundle of joy?
[Eda] The crown is being held
by the evil Warden Wrath
and locked away behind
a magical force field
that only a human
can break through...
a human like you.
If you help us
retrieve his crown,
we'll send you back
to your realm.
So whaddya say?
Plus, who could say no
to this cute face?
No! Please don't
encourage her! Aah!
I mean, we're kinda
your only way home.
So I don't really have
a choice, do I?
Nope. Now, we've got
no time to lose.
[squeaks]
Soon, Mr. Ducky,
we shall drink the fear
of those who mocked us.
Where are we going?
Somewhere super fun.
[thunderclap]
[Eda] The Conformatorium,
a place for those considered
unsuitable for society.
Whoa. These guys really
have the hots for you.
Yep. But we were never caught
because we're too slippery.
Try to catch me
when I'm covered in grease.
I'm a squirmy
little fella. Aah!
You and I will sneak up to the top of the
tower, where they're holding my crown.
And I'm gonna make sure
the warden's distracted.
[gasps] Will I need a disguise?
Uh...
I've been waiting to use this.
Meow, meow.
It's hideous.
Oh, you'll fit right in.
Hang on tight.
Whoa!
- [gasps]
- [hoots]
Meet you guys
at the top of the tower.
[grunting]
Ha-ha!
Cat's don't do that.
[gasps]
Hey, cat lady,
how'd you get out of your cell?
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not a cat.
Also, I'm not a criminal.
Not yet, you're not.
Neither are we.
The stupid warden likes to lock
people up who don't fit in.
Like, I write fan fics
of food falling in love.
I like food, I like love...
Just let me write about it.
I'm here because I like
eating my own eyes.
[gulps]
We are agents
of fwee expwession!
They will never siwence us!
Yeah, she's really big
into conspiracy theories.
The world is a simulation!
We are but playthings
for a higher being!
Wait.
These aren't crimes.
None of you actually did
anything wrong.
You're all just
a bunch of weirdos.
Like me.
[thudding footsteps]
It's Warden Wrath!
Hide!
[exclaims]
I can hear you.
[whimpers]
Just what are you fools
whispering about?
Ah. The Owl Lady.
[snarls]
I'll get my hands
on her soon enough.
[prisoner]
Fight against the oppwessor!
We will wesist!
We will conquer!
We will never be afwaid
of you, you old cweep!
Hooway! I'm fwee!
[gasps]
Let this be a lesson
to all of you.
There's no place in society
for you if you can't fit in.
[muffled scream]
[lock clicks, door slams]
Don't worry.
I can get you out.
[grunting]
No! My weak
nerd arms!
Just get out of here
while you still can, kid.
Enjoy freedom for us.
Hey. I just checked.
The warden is distracted,
tormenting some tiny creature.
He won't be coming around
here anytime soon.
My crown! It's close!
I can sense its power!
[grunting, exclaiming]
Aw, he gets so cute when
he's thirsty for power.
It's not fair
that they're all in here.
They just want to be themselves.
Why does everyone think that
being a weirdo is so bad?
[King grunts]
[cackling]
Come on,
before he hurts himself.
[object clangs] [King] Ow!
[grunts, groans]
We have a human, remember?
Oh, yeah.
[sighs]
Wait a second.
Is that a...
My crown!
Yes. Yes!
I can feel my powers returning!
You, there.
Nightmare critter.
I shall call you Francois,
and you shall be a minion
in my army of darkness.
Ha-ha!
That crown doesn't give him
any powers, does it?
Uh, no.
Oh, look at us, Luz.
King and I don't have much in this world.
We only have each other.
So if that dumb crown is important
to him, it's important to me.
And besides, us weirdos have
to stick together, you know?
Well, we owe you one.
Now, let's get out of here
before the warden finds us
and loses his head.
Too late.
[screams]
Ow! Oh, I hate it
when that happens.
[screams]
Eda! Are you okay?
Yeah. This just happens when
you get older. Does it?
Finally, I have you cornered,
Eda the Owl Lady.
[exclaims]
My guards could never get you,
but I knew if I took your pet's
toy, you'd come running.
No!
My power! [sobs]
What do you want with me?
I've never actually broken
any of your stupid laws...
in front of you.
I want you...
to go out with me.
- Wha...?
- What?
Go, boss!
You've always
eluded our capture.
You've always been
the one who got away.
I found that alluring.
I hate everything
you're saying right now.
You stay out of this!
So how about it, Owl Lady?
The most powerful witch
of the Boiling Isles
and the feared Warden Wrath.
We'd be the strongest
power couple ever.
I mean, it's... it's not like
you can say no right now.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[sighs] All right, Warden.
You win.
I'd just like to say
something first.
Come closer.
No. Just come
a little bit closer.
Just...
Yeah, that's good.
- [warden exclaims]
- [gasps]
[laughing]
Impudent wench! Don't you know how
many germs are in your mouth? Ugh!
Get over it.
You had your guards stalk me,
and then you cut off my head.
I am not going out with you.
If you don't accept, then I
have no choice but to des...
[groans]
[chuckles] Nice!
Okay, we're going now.
[hoots]
Expecto... flying?
Magicus... escapicus!
- [grunts]
- Gun it, magic stick.
[exclaims]
Owl Lady, I won't let
you get away again!
[exclaiming]
Eda, lend me a hand!
[screams]
Oh, my bones!
Luz...
go back to the human world.
What about you guys? If you
think this guy is bad,
you shoulda seen
her last boyfriend.
Not my boyfriend.
Go! Go!
But... But I...
[hoots] [exclaims]
[gasping]
Why are you guys
just standing there?
This is your chance to escape!
The warden will catch us.
He always does.
We belong here.
Self-doubt is a pwison
you can never escape fwom.
[prisoners muttering
in agreement]
So, you have a different
way of doing things,
a different way
of seeing things.
That might make you weird, but it also
makes you awesome. Don't you see?
Why are you helping us?
Because us weirdos
have to stick together.
And nobody should be punished
for who they are.
[all cheering]
Now, let's get 'em!
[groans] [groans]
No more running away, Owl Lady.
Today I capture you
once and for all!
[whimpers]
Go, go, go, go!
- [grunts]
- [prisoners whooping]
- Luz?
- Eat my own eye!
I see the world as a twiangle!
And I practice the ancient
art of fan fiction!
You! Who do you
think you are?
Do not underestimate me,
Warden Wrath,
for I am Luz, the human,
warrior of peace.
- [wind howls]
- Now eat this, sucker!
[grunting] [cheering]
That was actually
one of her better breakups.
Not a breakup.
Anyway, let's bounce
before any more monsters
fall in love with me.
Well, a deal's a deal.
- Let's get you home.
- [snaps fingers]
Before I go...
I know it's not the same, but...
a king shouldn't be
without a crown.
This shall suffice.
You there, plant!
You are now under my command.
Oh, and don't forget this.
[gasps]
Okay. I know you got
your head cut off,
and we started some kind
of prison riot,
but this was the most fun
I've ever had.
I don't fit in at home.
You don't fit in here.
If I stay, we could
not fit in together.
I'm not going back
to summer camp.
[chuckles] What's summer camp?
What are we talking about here?
I want to stay
and become a witch
like you and Azura.
What? All right,
that's crazy.
Humans can't become witches.
Maybe that's because
they haven't tried.
If you teach me to become a
witch, I'll do anything you want.
Let her stay!
[whispers]
She can make us snacks.
Well, I could use a hand
keeping this goofball
out of the cupboards.
All right. I'll teach
you how to be a witch.
But you have to work for me
before you learn any spells.
Deal?
[King grunts] Too tight! Too tight!
What's going on?
[phone vibrates]
[King clears throat]
Your sleep cocoon looks fluffy.
- I could swallow you whole!
- [hisses]
Do not underestimate me,
Gildersnake,
for I am the Good Witch Azura,
warrior of peace!
Now eat this, sucker!
No! My only weakness...
dying!
And that's the end.
The end of what?
My book report.
I think I knocked it
out of the park.
Your book report
is why you're in here.
[screaming]
Oh. That's where
the backup snakes were.
And what were you
going to do with this?
That was for
the Act Three closer.
Mija, I love your creativity,
but it's gotten out of hand.
Do you remember why you were in the
principal's office the last three times?
O happy dagger, give me death!
[people screaming]
Now for the final
anatomically correct touch,
spider breath.
[people screaming]
You think that's
an impressive trick?
Take a look at this.
Bleep, bloop, bleep!
[all screaming]
We all love that
you express yourself,
but if you can't learn to
separate fantasy from reality,
you may need to spend
the summer here.
Don't worry, Mom.
I won't let you down.
No more weirdness!
- [exclaims, shouts]
- [snake hisses]
That doesn't count, right?
Tsk. Oh!
Oh, my baby!
Now, don't worry.
Summer camp is only
going to be for three months.
You'll be so busy
balancing checkbooks
and learning to...
appreciate public radio,
the time will fly by!
But I don't like
any of that stuff.
I like editing
anime clips to music
and reading fantasy books
with convoluted back-stories.
Mija, your fantasy world
is holding you back.
Do you have any friends?
Real ones,
not imagined or drawn
or reptilian?
Summer camp is a chance
to make some friends,
but you have to try.
Can you do that?
Yes, Mom.
[phone vibrates]
Oh. I gotta go to work.
[kisses]
Your bus is coming soon.
Text me when you get there.
[speaking Spanish]
Bye, Mom.
[gasps] Where is it?
Where is it?
[owl hoots]
Tiny trash thief!
[panting]
[seethes]
[hooting]
Stop adorably
hopping away, you... Huh?
Whoa. I thought I had
a lot of weird stuff.
But this...
this is impressive.
- [woman] Finally, you're back.
- [gasps]
Now let's see
what we've got here.
[gasps]
Garbage, garbage...
garbage.
[gasps] Now, this...
This will make me rich.
And this...
Oh, this'll make good kindling.
[gasps] Excuse me, sorry,
it's mine, thank you.
You're not going anywhere.
[gasps, grunts]
[panting]
[gasps]
[screeching]
Ahh! [kisses]
Oh, no, no, no, no!
What's going on?
[shrieks]
Oh, hello, little fairy.
Are you going to tell me
this is all a fantastical dream?
- Give me your skin!
- [screams]
Where am I?
Did I die?
Am I in the bad place?
You wish.
I'm so sorry!
I just wanted my book!
And you're gonna eat my skin!
Just make it quick!
Just do it now!
Eat you?
Why would I eat...
a potential customer?
Can I offer you
a human foot filled with holes?
A bar of green human candy?
Oh, oh!
How about this black shadowbox
that reflects only sadness?
[chuckles]
That's not all it can do.
Here, let me see it.
[dance music playing] Wha...?
Huh?
What's that?
The sound...
it's so alluring.
I'll pay 40 snails
for the screaming box!
I'll give you a hundred! Can I
eat the tiny person inside?
[all clamoring] What did
you say your name was?
I'm Luz. Luz Noceda.
Well, Luz, that was pretty clever...
for a human.
That's kind of a weird thing
for another human to say.
Oh, dear child,
I'm not like you.
I'm Eda the Owl Lady,
the most powerful witch
on the Boiling Isles.
A witch?
I am a respected, feared...
Busted!
- Run! It's a guard!
- [all screaming]
Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted
for misuse of magic
and demonic misdemeanors.
Whoa! Witch criminal!
You are hereby ordered to come
with me to the Conformatorium.
Would you guys quit following me around?
I haven't done squat.
And you're coming too...
Aah!
...for fraternizing
with a criminal.
Wh-What?
That's not cool!
Oh, all right,
all right, you win.
Just let me get my stuff.
[groans]
Whoops.
Can't forget this.
Follow me, human.
This is crazy.
If I die here,
my mom's gonna kill me!
Ha! I won't
let 'em hurt you.
A human like you is much more
valuable to me alive than dead.
Wait. What's that
supposed to...
Whoo-hoo!
You won't get away
with this, Owl Lady!
Yeah, all right.
You did.
You got away with it.
She got away with it, everybody!
Typical.
[Eda] You can open
your eyes now, human.
[whimpers]
[gasps]
Flying staffs, crazy
monsters, you're a witch...
What is this place?
[Eda] This is the Boiling Isles.
Every myth you humans have
is caused by a little of our
world leaking into yours.
[screeches]
A griffin!
I knew it!
Yep.
Griffins, vampires,
giraffes... Giraffes?
[Eda] Oh, yeah.
We banished those guys.
Bunch of freaks.
[exclaims] Oops.
That happens sometimes.
Well, I've had enough
adventure for today.
This is clearly not the PG fantasy
world I always dreamed about,
so can you help me
get back home?
Only if you help me first.
[chuckles]
Ah, now, come along, human.
Whoa!
[cackles]
Aren't you worried about
those guards finding us?
Nope. My house has
a state-of-the-art defense system.
Hoot-hoot!
Password, please! Aah!
We got no time for this, Hooty.
Let us in.
All right, all right!
Geez!
You never want to have any fun!
Ow! Hoot!
[retches]
[retches, burps]
- Welcome to...
- [snaps fingers]
the Owl House...
[gasps]
...where I hide away from the
pressures of modern life.
Also the cops. Mm, also ex-boyfriends.
[chuckles]
This place is beautiful!
Do you live here all alone?
- [thudding footsteps]
- Actually, I have a roommate.
[deep voice]
Who dares intrude upon I,
[normal voice]
the king of demons?
[squeaks]
[gasps, exclaims in Spanish]
Eda, he's so cute!
Who's a widdle guy?
Who's a widdle guy?
Is it you? Is it you?
No! I don't know
who your little guy is!
Eda, who is this monster?
Oh, this is Luz, the human.
She's here to help us with our little...
situation.
Oh! Hooray!
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't like the sound
of this "situation."
Just... let me explain.
King was once
a mighty king of demons,
until his crown of power
was stolen,
and he became... this.
You mean this little
bundle of joy?
[Eda] The crown is being held
by the evil Warden Wrath
and locked away behind
a magical force field
that only a human
can break through...
a human like you.
If you help us
retrieve his crown,
we'll send you back
to your realm.
So whaddya say?
Plus, who could say no
to this cute face?
No! Please don't
encourage her! Aah!
I mean, we're kinda
your only way home.
So I don't really have
a choice, do I?
Nope. Now, we've got
no time to lose.
[squeaks]
Soon, Mr. Ducky,
we shall drink the fear
of those who mocked us.
Where are we going?
Somewhere super fun.
[thunderclap]
[Eda] The Conformatorium,
a place for those considered
unsuitable for society.
Whoa. These guys really
have the hots for you.
Yep. But we were never caught
because we're too slippery.
Try to catch me
when I'm covered in grease.
I'm a squirmy
little fella. Aah!
You and I will sneak up to the top of the
tower, where they're holding my crown.
And I'm gonna make sure
the warden's distracted.
[gasps] Will I need a disguise?
Uh...
I've been waiting to use this.
Meow, meow.
It's hideous.
Oh, you'll fit right in.
Hang on tight.
Whoa!
- [gasps]
- [hoots]
Meet you guys
at the top of the tower.
[grunting]
Ha-ha!
Cat's don't do that.
[gasps]
Hey, cat lady,
how'd you get out of your cell?
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not a cat.
Also, I'm not a criminal.
Not yet, you're not.
Neither are we.
The stupid warden likes to lock
people up who don't fit in.
Like, I write fan fics
of food falling in love.
I like food, I like love...
Just let me write about it.
I'm here because I like
eating my own eyes.
[gulps]
We are agents
of fwee expwession!
They will never siwence us!
Yeah, she's really big
into conspiracy theories.
The world is a simulation!
We are but playthings
for a higher being!
Wait.
These aren't crimes.
None of you actually did
anything wrong.
You're all just
a bunch of weirdos.
Like me.
[thudding footsteps]
It's Warden Wrath!
Hide!
[exclaims]
I can hear you.
[whimpers]
Just what are you fools
whispering about?
Ah. The Owl Lady.
[snarls]
I'll get my hands
on her soon enough.
[prisoner]
Fight against the oppwessor!
We will wesist!
We will conquer!
We will never be afwaid
of you, you old cweep!
Hooway! I'm fwee!
[gasps]
Let this be a lesson
to all of you.
There's no place in society
for you if you can't fit in.
[muffled scream]
[lock clicks, door slams]
Don't worry.
I can get you out.
[grunting]
No! My weak
nerd arms!
Just get out of here
while you still can, kid.
Enjoy freedom for us.
Hey. I just checked.
The warden is distracted,
tormenting some tiny creature.
He won't be coming around
here anytime soon.
My crown! It's close!
I can sense its power!
[grunting, exclaiming]
Aw, he gets so cute when
he's thirsty for power.
It's not fair
that they're all in here.
They just want to be themselves.
Why does everyone think that
being a weirdo is so bad?
[King grunts]
[cackling]
Come on,
before he hurts himself.
[object clangs] [King] Ow!
[grunts, groans]
We have a human, remember?
Oh, yeah.
[sighs]
Wait a second.
Is that a...
My crown!
Yes. Yes!
I can feel my powers returning!
You, there.
Nightmare critter.
I shall call you Francois,
and you shall be a minion
in my army of darkness.
Ha-ha!
That crown doesn't give him
any powers, does it?
Uh, no.
Oh, look at us, Luz.
King and I don't have much in this world.
We only have each other.
So if that dumb crown is important
to him, it's important to me.
And besides, us weirdos have
to stick together, you know?
Well, we owe you one.
Now, let's get out of here
before the warden finds us
and loses his head.
Too late.
[screams]
Ow! Oh, I hate it
when that happens.
[screams]
Eda! Are you okay?
Yeah. This just happens when
you get older. Does it?
Finally, I have you cornered,
Eda the Owl Lady.
[exclaims]
My guards could never get you,
but I knew if I took your pet's
toy, you'd come running.
No!
My power! [sobs]
What do you want with me?
I've never actually broken
any of your stupid laws...
in front of you.
I want you...
to go out with me.
- Wha...?
- What?
Go, boss!
You've always
eluded our capture.
You've always been
the one who got away.
I found that alluring.
I hate everything
you're saying right now.
You stay out of this!
So how about it, Owl Lady?
The most powerful witch
of the Boiling Isles
and the feared Warden Wrath.
We'd be the strongest
power couple ever.
I mean, it's... it's not like
you can say no right now.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[sighs] All right, Warden.
You win.
I'd just like to say
something first.
Come closer.
No. Just come
a little bit closer.
Just...
Yeah, that's good.
- [warden exclaims]
- [gasps]
[laughing]
Impudent wench! Don't you know how
many germs are in your mouth? Ugh!
Get over it.
You had your guards stalk me,
and then you cut off my head.
I am not going out with you.
If you don't accept, then I
have no choice but to des...
[groans]
[chuckles] Nice!
Okay, we're going now.
[hoots]
Expecto... flying?
Magicus... escapicus!
- [grunts]
- Gun it, magic stick.
[exclaims]
Owl Lady, I won't let
you get away again!
[exclaiming]
Eda, lend me a hand!
[screams]
Oh, my bones!
Luz...
go back to the human world.
What about you guys? If you
think this guy is bad,
you shoulda seen
her last boyfriend.
Not my boyfriend.
Go! Go!
But... But I...
[hoots] [exclaims]
[gasping]
Why are you guys
just standing there?
This is your chance to escape!
The warden will catch us.
He always does.
We belong here.
Self-doubt is a pwison
you can never escape fwom.
[prisoners muttering
in agreement]
So, you have a different
way of doing things,
a different way
of seeing things.
That might make you weird, but it also
makes you awesome. Don't you see?
Why are you helping us?
Because us weirdos
have to stick together.
And nobody should be punished
for who they are.
[all cheering]
Now, let's get 'em!
[groans] [groans]
No more running away, Owl Lady.
Today I capture you
once and for all!
[whimpers]
Go, go, go, go!
- [grunts]
- [prisoners whooping]
- Luz?
- Eat my own eye!
I see the world as a twiangle!
And I practice the ancient
art of fan fiction!
You! Who do you
think you are?
Do not underestimate me,
Warden Wrath,
for I am Luz, the human,
warrior of peace.
- [wind howls]
- Now eat this, sucker!
[grunting] [cheering]
That was actually
one of her better breakups.
Not a breakup.
Anyway, let's bounce
before any more monsters
fall in love with me.
Well, a deal's a deal.
- Let's get you home.
- [snaps fingers]
Before I go...
I know it's not the same, but...
a king shouldn't be
without a crown.
This shall suffice.
You there, plant!
You are now under my command.
Oh, and don't forget this.
[gasps]
Okay. I know you got
your head cut off,
and we started some kind
of prison riot,
but this was the most fun
I've ever had.
I don't fit in at home.
You don't fit in here.
If I stay, we could
not fit in together.
I'm not going back
to summer camp.
[chuckles] What's summer camp?
What are we talking about here?
I want to stay
and become a witch
like you and Azura.
What? All right,
that's crazy.
Humans can't become witches.
Maybe that's because
they haven't tried.
If you teach me to become a
witch, I'll do anything you want.
Let her stay!
[whispers]
She can make us snacks.
Well, I could use a hand
keeping this goofball
out of the cupboards.
All right. I'll teach
you how to be a witch.
But you have to work for me
before you learn any spells.
Deal?
[King grunts] Too tight! Too tight!
What's going on?
[phone vibrates]
[King clears throat]
Your sleep cocoon looks fluffy.