The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 8 - Wacky Wax Museum - full transcript

[theme music]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters ♪
[grunt]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go
[all] Let's go, Ghostbusters.
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Ooh
[howling]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go
[grunting]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪
♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters let's go ♪♪
[laughs]
[dramatic music]
[Brat-A-Rat] 'There's something awfully fishy going on around here.'
Yike!
I knew there was something fishy.
This looks interesting?
Ding dong.
Hi, I'm Belfry.
The doorbell's broken so I'm the temporary ding-a-ling.
-Hello. -Bonjour.
I have come at the request of Madam Tutu.
-[Jake] Well, come on in. -Merci.
Doesn't Madam Tutu own the world-famous wax museum?
Oui.And this is a message to you from Madam Tutu.
[Eddie] What does it say?
[grunts]
It says because we're such great ghostbusters
she's putting statues of us in her hall of fame.
[all] Whoo-hoo!
Prime Evil's not gonna like this.
Madam Tutu would like to go to Paris as soon as possible.
No problem. We're on our way.
[beeping]
[beeping continues]
Ooh la la!
Thanks. This is really swell.
Merci.
Come on. Let's get into uniform.
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
[screech]
[clicking]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
Ah!
[chuckles]
Yow!
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
Ah!
Yow!
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
Whoa!
Ya-a-ah!
[grunts]
Ya-a-a!
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
I can't stand these rear end collisions.
[Jake] Paris, here we come.
[whoosh]
It's an insult, an outrage!
I should be honored in the wax museum
not the ghost bunglers.
Is there anything I can do to help, O emperor of evil?
You've done enough.
This calls for the team
of my most evil deed doers.
[knocking on door]
Who is that?
Hi, guys. Evildoers incorporated. [laughs]
Eww! No! It's the Tooth Scaries.
[Tooth Scaries] That's right.
We're bad.
We're mad. [laughs]
We're rad.
So, what do you say? Do we got the job?
Forget it! This assignment is too important.
You Tooth Scaries can't decide
if you want to be good or bad!
Oh, uh-uh, bad, bad, bad. Really bad, yeah.
Never mind. I've already sent the Haunter and Mysteria.
[plopping]
I say, old chap, Haunter here at your service.
[Prime Evil] Well, it's about time you arrived here!
Oh, it's always a pleasure visiting your dumpy...
...oh, I mean your lovely hot quarters, darling.
Do you mean I have to work with misewable Mystewia again?
[Mysteria] Oh. Look who's talking, you British boo-hoo!
[Prime Evil] Enough! Save your nastiness for Paris.
Leave! And keep those statues from being put on display.
Don't worry. This will be ghost soup.
[snaps fingers] I'm on my way.
Last one to Pawis is a wotten egg.
No fair. That means you win already.
He should've sent us.
Yeah, we're-we're perfect for the job.
Don't worry. Those jokers are gonna make a mess of things.
And when they do, we'll take over
because we're tough.
Yeah, yeah, and rough.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And more than enough.
[all laughing]
[instrumental music]
[Eddie] So this is the famous museum.
I-I can't wait to see our statues.
Wonder where Madam Tutu is.
Maybe that's her.
Ah, good. You must be ze Ghostbusters.
-I am Madam Tutu. -It's an honor. I'm Jake Kong.
And these are my partners, Eddie Spencer.
How do you do?
[Jake] And Tracey.
[grunting] Charmed...
My, ha ha ha, you're such a gentleman.
[tinkling]
[sneezes]
Oh, dear me.
-You have a cold! -Just a stopped up nose.
It was a little windy on the way over.
Ah, good.
I would not want you to miss
ze unveilin' of your statues.
Would you like a tour of my museum first, huh, oui-oui?
Yeah, that'd be great.
[Madam Tutu] Zen come this way.
I say, getting rid of the Ghostbusters
will be a cup of tea.
Oh, get out of my way, monocle brain.
[crash]
[indistinct chattering]
-I was here first. -Dear me...
[indistinct chattering]
[crash]
[pop]
Yuck!
If we don't stop the Ghostbusters
Prime Evil is going to stop us.
Oh, well, we'd better work together...for now.
[Madam Tutu] Hah.
As you see, I have statues of ze most famous peoples
of all time in my museum.
Wow! A-a-and they're all made of wax.
Alright, there's Benjamin Franklin
proving lighting is made of electricity.
Yes, he was a great scientist and a friend of France.
He looks so real.
I'll scare them away with something weally weal.
[sizzling]
-What was that? -Looked like lightning.
-Wow! -Wow.
I don't understand it.
Zhere must be something wrong with the wiring in ze display.
[sneezes]
Ooh! MonsieurKong, your cold is getting worse.
Uh, I'm not sure.
Sometimes if my nose tickles, it's a cold
but sometimes it means I smell a ghost.
[gasps] A ghost?
A-a-are you sure?
I... I don't know.
-Maybe I just had to sneeze. -No matter.
Let me take you to my studios and show you your statues, huh?
-[Jake] Oh, wow! -[Eddie] Oh, boy!
Wonderful, Hunter.
You certainly scared them away.
Yes. And you think you can do better?
Oh, darling, not only better
I'll destroy the Ghostbuster statues.
[dramatic music]
[Madam Tutu] Zis is my studio.
Here I create my statues.
As you see, I make zem as lifelike as possible.
Wow, I-I-I didn't realize I was that good-lookin'.
[grunts, slurps]
No, Tracy, that banana's made of wax.
Mm, I think ze nose on MonsieurJake's statue
should be a little pointier.
Ah-h-h!
Ooh, pardon, forgive me.
Ah, that's alright.
These statues are incredible.
Just imagine, two of me's.
Yeah, I'll take six of me. Ha ha.
I say, what are you doing with your crystal?
Tracy meltin' the banana gave me an idea.
I'm going to magnify the sun's rays
and melt the Ghostbuster statues.
[pulsating]
Hey! My-my statue's melting.
-Look, they're all melting! -What's happening?
Oh, God. [laughs]
In just a few minutes, the Ghostbuster statues
will be destroyed. [laughs]
-This is terrible! -What's going on?
Aim it closer.
You're taking too long. I'll show you.
Let... go!
[zap]
[screaming]
Ah! Hot! Oh!
[shattering]
You numbskull!
You broke my crystal ball.
-Me? -You!
Me? You aimed it the mirror.
Now I'll have to buy a new one at the haunted mall.
[both screaming]
[boom]
You failed again!
It was his fault.
My fault? You were the one...
Quiet! Both of you!
All my life I've tried to be the most evil person I could be.
So, why isn't my statue in the hall of villains?
I've tried to spread fear and destruction
wherever I could. But am I appreciated?
Am I rewarded for my hard work?
No!
I can't take it any longer!
I'm surrounded by nincompoops, ninnies, fools!
Take it easy, Prime Evil.
We have a plan.
You do?
Just leave it us.
We guarantee to get you a statue in Tutu's Wax Museum.
If you do, Cavity, there's an extra case
of dental floss in it for you.
Oh, it was good thing ze heads did not melt
and that I always keep an extra set of bodies, just in case.
Whoa! Hey!
Ooh, pardon, I made mistake again.
No problem, I..
Tracy, stop that.
[laughing]
[Madam Tutu] Zhere. Zat perfect.
Ready to be unveiled in my hallof heroes at midnight tonight.
I wonder why they started to melt.
Don't know. That was really strange.
Well, no time to worry about zat.
We must put your statues in ze display
for the dedication ceremony.
[laughs] Little do they know
there won't be any ceremony.
Yeah, Big Tooth, he he, yeah.
Let's munch away inside.
[snorting]
So, this is the hall of villains.
[Cavity] Wow! They're all so disgusting, miserable and repulsive.
Prime Evil's statue would fit right in, he he he.
Come on. Let's put our plan into action.
Sweet Tooth, get out the ghost-maker juice.
Which statue are we gonna use it on, Big Tooth?
Tee hee hee, this big guy will do just fine.
Okay, spray away.
[plop]
[sloshing]
[beeping]
Okay, Frankie ghost.
Your job is to keep the Ghostbusters busy
while we make a deal with Madam Tutu.
You heard him. Get movin'!
[grunting]
Look at him shake those feet.
Why are you two standin' around with your mouths open?
We've got work to do.
[Jake] This is really an honor.
Our statues get to be displayed
in the hall of heroes, next to Sherlock Holmes.
Huh? But why is this space empty?
[laughs] Ah, yes.
Zat is a special surprise. You see..
[dramatic music]
Ah-h-h!
It is my wax Frankenstein monster.
Why is it moving?
[Eddie] It's as if he turned into a wax robot.
Hey, pal... buddy, w-w-what's shakin'?
[growling]
Whew! This guy sure is ugly.
Not as half as ugly as we're
going to be if he catches us.
[Tutu screaming]
You're coming with us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, ha ha, to the Eiffel Tower.
Yow! Madam Tutu's in trouble.
We've got to rescue her from the Tooth Scaries.
Yo, I think Frankie's got other ideas.
[growling]
Got anything in your ghost pack
that'll freeze up Frankie?
[grunting]
[Jake] Nice work, Tracy. That ice did the trick.
Quick, let's get GB.
[dramatic music]
Madam Tutu, we will release you
on one condition.
And what is zat?
Make a wax statue of Prime Evil
and put it in your hall of villains.
What? Never!
I have terrible villains
in my museum, but none as disgustin' as Prime Evil.
No, never!
Oh, never? Wrong.
You'll change your mind when you see what we have in mind.
Yeah. [laughs]
Faster GB, faster!
They're at the Eiffel Tower.
And it looks like Madam Tutu is in big trouble.
Unless you make a statue of Prime Evil
we'll eatthe Eiffel Tower.
[gasps] No! You cannot!
Yes, we can. We've got the choppers that'll do it.
So, what do you say?
Have we got a deal?
[Jake] 'No deal!'
We're not letting you destroy a national landmark.
Yeah? Try and stop us.
Get started, guys.
[groaning]
Oh, no, please.
Ze Eiffel Tower is ze symbol of my beloved Paris.
-How will we stop them? -I've got an idea.
Tracy, you have your dematerializer?
-Yep. -Good.
Then we can serve mine to these bozos for dessert.
Those Tooth Scaries will eat anything.
Watch what happens when they take a bite out of this.
Hey, guys, some dessert?
[swoosh]
[clanging]
My appetite has disappeared.
Oh, uh-uh, we're disappearing too.
Bravo! My hero.
[kisses]
Come on. We've got to get ready for the dedication ceremony.
We've got a date with history.
It gives me great pleasure to add to my museum
zese four heroes.
Four heroes? I see only three statues.
Look.
Hey, I'm famous. How about that?
Viva laParis.
And viva lasGhostbusters.
[chuckling]
Those Tooth Scaries sure made a meal out of that girder.
But for real people, proper meals combine
milk products, fruits and vegetables
cereals and protein. That's a balanced diet.
Look! There's Tracy trying to balance his diet.
[instrumental music]
[laughing]
[theme music]
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
-♪ Let's go -♪ Let's go
♪ Let's go Ghostbusters ♪