The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 64 - Maze Caves - full transcript

[theme music]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
[grunting]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
Let's go, Ghostbusters!
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
[grunting]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
[howling]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
[grunting]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
[laughing]
[eerie music]
[Prime Evil] If anybody moves,I'll zap them into lizard dust!
[thunder crashing]
Now, give me your twos.
[squeaks] Ahem. Oh...g-g...
Go fish.
How dare you miserable bucket of bolts tell me
master of the mean, to go fish!
[clang]
Perhaps this treasure map to the Planet Doom
will cheer you up, Your Nastiness.
It leads to the Cat's Eye of Doom.
And whoever owns it could rule the universe.
But nobody's ever found the cat's eye
even withthe map.
That's because there isno treasure.
But that gives me an idea.
What if we trick the ghostbunglers
send them to Planet Doom?
So full of caves and monsters that they'll never get out.
Uh, what if the Ghostbusters find the treasure?
Fool! Don't you think I'd have the treasure if there really was one?
-Now go! -Uh, yes, sir.
I'll deliver the map meself, sir.
And set the trap.
But first, give me your twos!
[Jake] This time Tracy says
he's got his automatic banana peeler perfected.
[Eddie] He's not workin' on that thing again!
[thudding]
Ta-da!
Banana peel. Ha ha ha. Get it?
Heh heh. Banana peel. Oops, sorry, guys.
One day, I'm gonna trade that Shock Clock in for a toaster oven.
Yay! Do your stuff, Tracy!
[grunts]
[rings]
[boing]
[boing]
[splat]
Thanks a bunch. Get it? A bunch.
Ha ha ha.
[all laughing]
Back to the drawing board, old buddy.
-Want one? -No, thanks. Maybe for dessert.
Jessica's taking me to lunch. Her treat.
My birthday's next week, you know.
[in unison] Your birthday?
Where's the birthday boy? Hello, boys!
Well, Jake, ready for lunch at the fanciest restaurant in town?
You mean Super-Duper Burger?
-I'm impressed! -That's right.
And we better get going. We've got reservations.
See you guys later. And stay out of trouble.
Gosh, I wish we could buy Jakea really nice present, too.
Bu-but I'm broke.
-Take this. -Nice try, buddy.
But we won't be able to buy anything with old peels.
Well, maybe somethin' will turn up.
[intense music]
Where to, sailor? Ding.
Ghostbusters, main floor. And heave-ho!
Heave-ho? He he he.
Yes, heave-ho, or I'll shiver your timbers!
[Skelevator] Heave-ho it is, admiral.
And you asked for it. Ding, ding, ding, ding.
[whoosh]
[thud]
[dings]
[groans] Next time, I'll take the stairs.
Here's some bait for a very big date
with an ocean of trouble, Ghostbusters.
Ha ha ha.
-So, how do we buy Jake a gift? -I don't know.
Hey! What's that?
[drum music]
It's some kind of map.
[Eddie]I-it's not somekind of a map, i-it's a treasure map.
"Dear Ghostbusters..."
"Dear Ghostbusters,
"nobody deserves this treasure map more than you.
A friend."
A friend? Wow.
As soon as Jake gets back, we can go get the treasure.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Let's not tell Jake. L-let's surprise him.
We'll get the treasure and buy him a present before he gets back.
Ho-ho! Great idea!
And for once, I get to go along, huh?
See, here's Planet Doom.
Ohh-oh, right in the ghost zone.
Uh, maybe I won't go.
-No, I'm g-going. -Right on!
I'll get into my uniform, and we'll go get that treasure.
[theme song]
[screech]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
[screaming]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
Whoa! Ow!
[clangs]
Yeow!
Whaa!
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
Ya-a-a!
[dings]
[snoring]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
[groaning]
Easy on the upholstery, huh, guys?
Hey, w-where's Jake?
-I'm in charge today. -Uh-oh.
Can't we discuss this like g-r-rownups?
Are you sure you wanna be in charge?
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
[G.B.]Now we're r-really in trouble.
[whoosh]
[Jessica] This has to be the best hamburger I've ever had.
-Yeah, uh, great.-Um, is something wrong, Jake?
Sorry, Jessica,
but I've got this funny feeling about the guys.
Mind if we skip dessert?
I'd like to get back to Ghost Command.
Oh, sure, Jake. Anything you say.
But what could go wrong?
[G.B.] I told you before, I hate usin' my r-rockets.
They're gonna melt my bumpers.
Stop worryin' about yourself.
We're doin' this for Jake's birthday present.
A-and besides, I'm in charge.
I wish you wouldn't keep r-r-remindin' me.
[intense music]
[whoosh]
Oh, something tells me tha-that's Planet Doom.
It's n-n-not too late to go back.
We've come this far. We can't go back.
Full rockets!
[whoosh]
Uh, I wonder which way to the treasure.
[creaking]
-Oh, thanks. Wha...! -Uh-oh.
Oh-oh, let's get the treasure and get outta here.
[intense music]
thud
Uh-oh!
[Prime Evil laughing]
Now this is real fun.
I've got all four Ghost...busters
just where I want them.
[Brat-A-Rat] Excuse me, Your Awfulness.
But there are only three Ghostbusters in the trap.
Let's see, uh, Jake is missing.
I hate being wrong...
...but I really hate being corrected!
[hisses]
[Scarechrome] Eh, eh, fear not.
I-I'll bet their captain will not be far behind.
He better be, for your sake!
[Jake] Eddie! Tracy! Belfry!
I was afraid of this. They're gone!
I'll locate them on my communicator.
Come in, Ghostbusters. Come in.
Hey, guys, where are you? Come in, please!
Jake, the gang's trapped inside the Planet Doom-m.
They can't hear ya, but I-I can.
Planet Doom? Oh, no!
[G.B.] Oh, y-yes.
Come back to Earth and get us,G.B. We've gotta save 'em.
[G.B.] I'm on my way, Jake. On my w-w-way.
Oh, Jake, what are they doing on Planet Doom?
I don't know, Jess, but I've got a bad feeling.
[intense music]
[Eddie] Sorry, guys, but we've got no choice.
[wind howling]
We can't go back. We'll have to go forward.
Whoa! Watch out!
[bubbling]
[growling]
[Eddie] Oh, there's boiling lava down there.
H-h-how do we get across?
Brought this.
[whirring]
[swishing]
Nice work, Trace.
[whoosh]
[cackles]
So, you escaped that trap too easily, huh?
Maybe the ghost worms will give you some real trouble!
[cracking]
[intense music]
Heh heh heh.
Go get 'em, my lovely Subterrors.
Chase those foolish Ghostbusters deeper into the caves of Doom.
So deep they'll never get out.
Ha ha ha!
[hisses]
[Prime Evil] Our trap is foolproof.
The ghost worms are chasing the Ghost...busters
deeper into the caves.
And soon their leader will be lost with 'em.
Come, G.B., come on. Not a moment to lose.
There he is.
[whoosh]
Boy, am I gl-l-ad to see you!
Hop in, Jessica.
We've got ghostbusting to do.
[whoosh]
[screaming]
[instrumental music]
[panting]
I think we lost the ghost worms.
[panting]
Yeah, they'll never find us.
I don't know.
[rumbling]
What was that noise?
Uh, what noise?
Fast thinkin', Tracy.
Yeah, well, think a little faster
and get us outta here.
[grunts]
Tracy can't hold on!
Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't say that.
Ohhh!
[Eddie] Yeow! See you, fellas!
-Yaa ha ha ha ha! -Yaaa!
[instrumental music]
[Jake] Friendly-looking little planet.
I guess they don't call it Doom for nothing.
Y-you think you don't like it?
This is the second time I've been here.
[Jake] I wonder where the guys are.
-Ask him. -Not funny, G.B.
I-I mean it.
Where are the guys?
[Jake] Yeow!
Don't mind him. He's just a r-r-road sign.
Come on, Jake.
One more step into my cave.
[all cheering indistinctly]
Ha ha! We got 'em!
[Eddie] Ha ha help!
[all screaming]
That does it. We're hopelessly lost.
And nobody knows where we are.
[sobbing]
[Prime Evil] Prime Evil knows.
And he's sending you some company.
Hello, little people. I'm so glad to meet you.
Oh-oh-oh-oh, maybe we could take a spin together.
Heh heh heh.
[Jake] There's Tracy's robo-grappler.
[Jessica] Lot of good it is hanging over there.
I've got just the trick.
This telescoping hand started out
as a back-scratcher for giraffes.
Hop on, Jessica.
Oh, Jake, you're such a swinger.
[whoosh]
[instrumental music]
[zap]
Who-who would I like to chase first?
[clicks]
[zaps]
[grunts]
This should hold you a while.
The more you struggle, the more you get tied up.
I'll just see to my other guests now.
[clicks]
Looks like the end.
You mean they went down this chute?
Oh, I'd hate to have to jump down there.
You don't have much choice. Take a look over your shoulder.
[Jessica] You just convinced me.
[both screaming]
Oh-oh-oh-oh.
Maybe a shot of the old BelfryBlast will stop this joker.
[shrieking]
[rumbling]
That'll teach ya.
Oh-oh-oh, now...
Now look what you did.
[snorting]
[thud]
Look! Footprints!
I hate to say it, but this looks like the way they came.
[dramatic music]
J-Jessica, I found it!
It looks like a treasure!
So, there was no treasure?
You fool!
But-but-but yousaid...
- Isaid? -Uh, uh, s-s-sorry, matey.
I-I-I mean, Your-Your Greatship.
Fool, go get that treasure and bring it to me
or the only ship you'll ever captain will be in a bathtub!
Ha ha ha!
[stammering]
Aye aye, sir.
[instrumental music]
Boo!
[screaming]
Oh, it's so tiring chasing humans.
Help!
It's Tracy! He's all right.
Where are Eddie and Belfry?
That way.
Let's go.
Okey-dokey.
Hey, don't just stand there. Get me outta here!
[rumbling] Shh, quiet down.
Or you'll cave in the rest of the ceiling.
[rumbling]
Let's find Eddie.
You've started a cave-in chain reaction.
Sounds like the whole planet could collapse.
Jake, am I glad to see you!
[grunts] I think I lost him.
-Lost who? -Why, me of course.
Form a circle, and let that ghost creeper
have it with Ghost Gummer balls.
[zapping]
[intense music]
Now!
splat splat splat
Gum it! I believe I'm stuck.
Sorry we can't stick around and keep you company.
Stick, get it?
[rumbling]
Jake, the ancient cat goddess of Doom.
That's the rightful and only safe place
for the Cat's Eye of Doom.
Heave-ho! Long John Scarechrome at your service.
Now, if you'll kindly hand over that cat's eye.
Sorry, Scarechrome, this goes back where it belongs.
Forever.
[zaps]
Light from above! Fresh air!
Uh, uh, it's a secret way out.
What's your hurry, mortals?
Stick around for the party.
[snaps]
Run, gang! I'm right behind you!
[thud]
Sorry, admiral, but I've got a date for dessert.
On Planet Earth.
[rumbling]
You and your friends will never make it.
Neither will you, sailor boy.
We've got to do something.
-And fast. -Okey-dokey.
[bam]
[rings]
This is where I get off.
[whirring]
[boing]
[boing]
[instrumental music]
I'll get even with you!
[rumbling]
I sure am glad you never gave up on your banana peeler.
[all laughing]
[hisses]
Why? Why?
Why do the good guys always have to win?
And you! This was all your idea!
[imitating Scarechrome]"Let's trap the Ghostbusters."
"There isn't any treasure."
Here's your reward, you broken down buccaneer!
Take this mop and swab my palace!
[hisses]
Aye, aye, sir.
You know, Jake, I-I still wishwe had some of that treasure
to buy you an expensive present.
Don't you guys know?
You don't have to give somebody an expensive present.
It's the thought that counts.
Besides, your friendship is the real gift.
And the real treasure, too.
[all laughing]
Uh, hi, everybody, in today's story
Eddie and Tracy took offon their own to find treasure.
Yeah, so they could buy a really expensive birthday present for Jake.
I think they forgot that love and affection
don't cost anything at all.
Good friendship is the best present anyone can give.
Well, except for one other thing.
Birthday cakes are nice too.
Don't worry. I'm sure that Jake will have a great birthday cake.
All right!
[theme music]
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go
♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters Let's go ♪