The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 58 - Country Cousin - full transcript

Belfry's country cousin Beauregard visits the Ghost Command and helps defeat Mr. Squid.

[theme song playing]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[all]
Let's go, Ghostbusters!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters



♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

[howling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go



♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

[laughs]

[thunder rumbling]

[dramatic music]

[groaning]

[Prime Evil]
Another reject.

They're not making ghosts
like they used to.

Who else wants to try out
for my Hauntquarters crew?

This is the last one, boss.
He he he.

He calls himself Squint.

Eh, excuse me. But the name'snot Squint it's Squid.

Uh, Mr. Squid and I will bevaluable to you, Mr. Evil.

And what value could you
possibly be to me?

I can capture
the Ghostbusters.

Even I can't capture them.
Throw him out.

Uh, but, Your Madness.

Never mind, I'll throw
this wimp out myself.

You call yourself valuable?

Ha! I'll show you how valuable.

[zapping]

[stammers] But, Your Madness.

[zapping]

You-you didn't give me achance!

[intense music]

He-he didn't believe
I'm valuable.

But I am.
I know I am.

I'll show you how valuable
I can be, Prime Evil.

I'll capture the Ghostbustersand after that

you'll beg me
to join your gang.

[thunder rumbling]

[Eddie] All right,this is the last one.

Look.

[Belfry] Wow,looks just like ol' Prime Evil.

Real mean.

Yeah, that's the best one yet,eh, Tracy?

[snoring]

Tracy!

[thuds]

[grunting]

Come down from there, Tracy.

Come on, it's only a shadow.

Ha ha. And you thought
it was the real thing.

Ha ha.

Was that Tracy,
or was it just an earthquake?

[laughing]

[knock on door]

Who could that be?

Nobody there.

[knock on door]

-Nobody here.
-[Beauregard] Down here.

I'm lookin' for my cousin,
Belfry.

My cousin? Here?

-Beauregard.
-Ow. Howdy, cous.

How you been?You said I could come visit ya.

And well, here I am.

-Come on in.
-Hey, fellas.

This is
my cousin, Beauregard.

He lives on a farm.

-[Tracy] Howdy.
-[Eddie] Hi.

Howdy, Mr. Ghostbusters.

Oh, golly.

Wait'll the buds back homehear about this.

We see you fellowson the news all the time.

[Belfry]
'There's Prime Evil.'

[all laughing]

Just a shadow, Beauregard.

Well, oh.

I'll be hog-tied.

Y'all sure fooled me.

I thought
it was the real Prime Evil.

Aw, he's not so tough.

I've seen him
hundreds of times.

Really?Oh, golly.

Pull up a chair, Beauregard.

Mind if'n I take offthese heavy shoes?

Uh, uh, please, Beauregard.

Oh, not here.

Uh, why don't I
show you around, cousin?

Brace yourself, guys.
I feel a call coming in.

[ringing]

Yeah, you reached
Ghost Command, but it's late

I'm tired and unless this is
real urgent, buzz off.

This is Jake,
may I help ya?

[Squid]
Eh, yes, this is Mr. Bensly
in the mansion up the hill.

I'm givinga surprise party for my wife.

I'd like the Ghostbustersto come as my guests of honor.

-Can you?
-Wow!

I mean, yes.
We'll be there.

Now, don't forget,
it's a surprise party.

[laughing]

And are they in for a surprise.

We're going to a swankysurprise party, guys.

And we're the guests of honor.

Oh, boy. Wait'll Belfryhears about this.

[Beauregard]
Golly! That building's
higher than Passa gulch.

[instrumental music]

Ooh and pretty, too.

Aw, city folks never notice
those things, Beauregard.

[mumbling]

You mean, city folksbuild pretty things

and never look at 'em?

Uh, well, I mean, uh, yes,
I mean no, I mean...

-[Jake] Belfry.
-Gotta run now.

I'll explain later.

Golly. They sure move fastin the city.

Hey, wait for me.

[grunting]

Hmm, I think
your hat's too fancy.

No, too flashy.

[music continues]

Perfect.

Uh, what's going on?

We were invited
to a swanky surprise party

in our honor.

Oh, a party? Wow!

Oh, boy.We're going to a city hoedown.

Oops! Forgot my shoes.

As soon as Beauregard
gets his shoes, we'll go.

Uh, on second thought,
y-you guys go on

I-I mean we won't be going.

What? It's not like you
to turn down a party.

You feel all right?

Uh, I'm OK,
but Beauregard's

not really the party type.

Well, if you
really don't wanna go.

Hey guys, what do you say
we go in uniform?

Why not?
Well, what're we waiting for?

[all]
Let's go, Ghostbusters.

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[whistling]

[music continues]

[whooshing]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

Whoa!

[music continues]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

You n-n-nightmares
have to wake me up

in the middle of a good dream?

Sorry, G.B., but we're steppin'out tonight to a party.

-Where's Belfry?
-He doesn't wanna come.

What? Belfry turnin'
down a party?

Well, in that case
I'll take his ice-cream.

[swooshing]

I found my shoes.

Now I'm ready to do-si-doall night long.

Where did everybody go?

Uh, they left.

Oh, without us?

Ah, Beauregard, you wouldn'thave liked the party, anyway.

Now, I get the picture.

I-I don't fit inwith your friends.

Well, I, oh...

Oh...

You're ashamed of me.

Uh, well, cousin...

I know I ain't got the smoothways of your city folk.

But, I am what I am.

And that's all I can be.

I'll go backto the farm now.

I hope I... didn'tembarrass you too much, cousin.

Oh, Beauregard, wait a minute.

[Ansabone ringing]

Hello. Oh, hi, Madam Why.

I just saw the Ghostbusters
in my crystal ball.

You must stop them, Belfry.

The party they're going to
is a trap.

They are in great danger.

Oh, all right. And thanks.

I'll do what I can.

We've gotta do something,
Beauregard.

The guys are in danger.

The party is a trap.

[Eddie] Boy, oh, boy.I bet this partyis really somethin'.

Have you ever beenin a mansion?

-No.
-Me neither.

[Squid]Inside this deserted mansionis perfect for my trap.

But it doesn't look
perfect outside.

I can fix that.

♪ Magic of the ocean
Magic of the sea ♪

♪ Fiddle dee dum dum
Fiddle dee dee ♪

[zapping]

That should do it.

Ah, just in time.

I think I hear them.

[pulsating]

[G.B.]
Wow! This ma-ma-mansion
is classy.

No cars. We must be the firstones to get here.

[doorbell ringing]

[Eddie]
You sure you got
the right address, Jake?

This place is creepy.

It's sure is.

[raucous laughter]

[thuds]

Somethin' tells meI'm not gonna like this party.

Uh-oh.

That came from upstairs.

Let's get out of here.

[screeching, slams]

Let's look upstairs
and be ready
for anything.

-I'm ready.
-Okey-dokey.

[eerie music]

[wooshing]

[music continues]

[moaning]

[swooshing]

Did you bring
the Dematerializer, Tracy?

Did you, Tracy?

Tracy? Eddie?

[Squid]
So happy you accepted
my invitation.

Who are you?

What have you donewith my friends?

I'm, Mr. Squid.

The clever, evil, Mr. Squid.

And as for your friends,

you'll be joining them
soon enough.

Ha ha ha.

In to the cellar
with you, Ghostbuster.

[thuds]

Tracy! Thanks, pal.

I needed that.

You guys OK?

-I'm fine.
-Okey-dokey.

A fine mess I got us into.
This is some party.

Argh! No message.
Thank you.

Oh, this is terrible.

I can't reach, Futura.

And Jessica is out
covering a story.

Well, don't feel bad, cous.

I'll help ya.

Uh, you meanyou really wanna help

after the rotten wayI treated you?

That's what cousins are for.

But, uh, they're notyour friends, Beauregard.

Uh, why would youwanna help them, huh?

'Cause they're your friends.

-But, but, uh---Well, times a wasting, cous.

Let's scoot on over
and save your friends.

And give those varmints
a taste of bat power.

[chuckles]
Yeah. Let's scoot over.

But I don't know
where they went.

Solid.

Uh-huh.

Solid.

Solid.

[clangs]

[thuds]

Hey, over here.
Sounds like a hole.

If only we can loosen oneof these stones.

Give me a hand.

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[muttering]

[grunting]

[Jake]
Hey, it's a tunnel.

Nice work, Tracy.

Oh, he he he.

Nothin' like a delicate touch.

-Only one problem.
-What's that?

[Eddie]This big hole in the wall willtell Mr. Squid how we got out.

[instrumental music]

He he he.

-[Jack] That makes it worse.
-Nope.

[Eddie] Wow, all right.

Now let's see
where the tunnel goes.

[Belfry]It's no use.I don't know how to find 'em.

Hey, what about that thing youshowed me in the obs-astory?

Obsta-tory?

Oh, you mean the observatory.

That's...
Yeah!

Skelescope. That's it.Maybe Skelescope can find 'em.

[instrumental music]

Let's see.
This one is on and, uh...

Uh, this one...

[Skelescope]
Uh, are you authorized
to do this?

Who said that?

I did.

You're obviously
new around here.

Come on, Skelescope,
this is important.

Important? Going to the moon is important.

You just have to stargaze
some other time.

This is my day off.

[Beauregard] Well, go.

And I'm sure you deserve
a day off.

And we're very sorryto bother you, Mr. Skelescope.

But Belfry here tells meyou're just about

the smartest critterin the world.

In the universe.
Oh, you really think so,
Belfry?'

Oh, well, I, uh...

Of course, he does.

Well, look...

He will not tell.The Ghostbustersare in a pickle.

We don't knowwhere theyvamooseto.

And we gotta find them.

Oh, why didn't you say so?

Step on my micro-stamp, Belfry, your third switch to the left.

Uh, now turn the locater
switch to zero.

[instrumental music]

Ah-ha!
There's the Ghost Buggy.

And the Ghostbusters
must be in that mansion.

Take a lookie.

-[Beauregard] You found it.
-Of course I did.

Golly.

Ah, thanks a heap,
Mr. Skelescope.

It was a pleasure--

[Beauregard screaming]

Goodbye, little fella.
I like your friend, Belfry.

He recognizes class.

I'm sure Prime Evil
will talk to me.

You tell him I have very
important news to give him.

Sure you do, Mr. Squirt.

Next you gonna tell me you'vecaptured the Ghostbusters.

Yes, I have.

How do you know that?
Hello, hello?

[laughing hysterically]

Thanks for the laugh, Squirt.

He hung up on me,
that little...

How do we get in?

Well, why don't we knock?

Huh?

[knocking on door]

Who could that be?

Hmm, maybe this place
ishaunted.

You think we can squeeze
in there?

If'n that dude finds us, we'llbe in a tighter squeeze, cous.

[grunting]

Too many corn-fritters.

-Oh, we're in the cellar.
-We're in a jam.

-We're trapped.
-Uh-oh.

Quick, cous, in here.

There's only one way to proveto Prime Evil I've captured...

[thuds, crashes, thuds]

Oh, no! They disappeared!

Find anything, Tracy?

Shh. I think I hear
something coming this way.

Get out
the Dematerializer, Tracy.

[Tracy] Okey-dokey.

Jake, Eddie, it's us.

Uh, never mind,
its only Belfry.

-Belfry?
-And Beauregard.

How'd you get in here?

The question, Mr. Eddie

is how the heck do weall get out of here?

We came to tell you
this is a trap but, uh,

I guess you
know that already. Ha ha.

Hey, Beauregard found it.

[Squid] They've gotta be here
somewhere.

I must find them,
I must capture them

to show Prime Evil
how smart I am.

Ah, there they go,
downstairs.

Ah-ha!
There's someone in that room.

Got a flashlight, Mr. Eddie?

[Prime Evil's voice]Squid, how dare you disturb me?Get out!'

Oh, sorry, excellent one.
Sorry to disturb you.

Wait a minute.Why would Prime Evil be here?

They tricked me.
Well, I'll show them.

So you thought
you had me fooled?

Ah, you missed.

[Jake]That's what you think, Squid.Keep your eye on the ball.

'Hit it, Tracy.

All right!

[Jake]
Don't zap him yet, Eddie.

What did you expect
to get out of capturing us?

I wanted to prove to Prime EvilI was worthy of joining him.

I tried really hard,
it was very important to me.

It's more important
to be yourself, Mr. Squid.

You shouldn't try
to change yourself

just to fit into a group.

Yeah, especially
Prime Evil's group.

I guess you're right.

But before you zap me,I have two questions.

What are they?

First, what magic did you useto copy Prime Evil?

With Eddie's hands,
and my cousin Beauregard's
voice...

Show him how, cous.

[imitating Prime Evil]
This is how I did it.

What's the second question?

Are you gonna
dematerialize me?

You did some
pretty rotten things.

And when you do wrong,
you have to answer for it.

Next time we meet, I hope
you're on the right track.

I understand.

-[Jake] Eddie...
-And when I come back...

I'd like to join
the Ghostbusters.

OK, everybody, we've gotone more mission to accomplish.

-Oh, no.
-Oh, no.

Well, what is it, Mr. Jake?

We have to call up allour friends and show Beauregard

what a real city hoedown
is like.

Oh, g-o-l-l-y!

Then what are we
waiting for?

[all in unison]
Let's go, Ghostbusters!

Oh, hi, everybody.

Belfry's gonna tell you
about today's story.

When I saw how funny
Beauregard was dressed

and how funny he talked...

I was too ashamed of him
to take him to the party.

Grown-ups call that Prejudice,
I call it stupid.

So, please remember
what I forgot.

People should be judged
by the way they act,

not by the way they look.

Well, in other words, kids,

don't judge a bookby its cover, you hear?

[theme song playing]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters