The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 53 - The Bad Old Days - full transcript

[theme song]

Let's go, Ghostbusters!

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

Let's go, Ghostbusters!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪



♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

[howling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

[snickering]

[eerie music]

[thunder rumbling]

[Prime Evil]
Let's see now.

One teaspoon
salamander scales.

One cup bat's toenails.



One large dash
of dragon powder.

I say, old boy, do youreally think this is safe?

We're not in business to besafe, you poultry pipsqueaks.

We're here to spread
disaster and misery.

[crackling]

B-b-but,
your atrociousness,

what if something
went wrong?

[screaming]

Oh, yuck!

Gads! It's horrible.

Any other complaints?

Those meddling Ghost Buzzardsspoil every decent bit

of wickedness I think up.

Why?

Are they so smart?

Hmm?

It's this modern world.

There's too much
goodness around.

That's why I'm summoning
the four phantoms

of ancient Babylon.

Oh!

Wow!

[crackling]

Ah, at last.

Real professionals.

You called, sir?

[Prime Evil]
I certainly did.

You four are going
to help me send the world

and the Ghost...busters

back to the age of evil.

[laughing menacingly]

How can I play somebodywho's upside down?

It's making me seasick.

[chuckling]

[mumbling]

[chuckling]

King me.

[Jake]
For Pete's sake, you guys.

I thought you were goingto clean this stuff up.

Uh, I-I've been teaching Belfryhow to play checkers.

[chuckling] He must
be a great teacher.

I've beaten him every time.
[continues chuckling]

Pure luck.
Anyhow, what's the hurry?

Nothin's happened
around here for days.

You're right.
Things have been too quiet.

That means Prime Evil's
up to something.

And that's why we have
to stay on our toes.

Now, what's on your schedule
for today?

Gosh, I-I can't think
of a thing.

-Boo.
-Will you cut that out?

Nine o'clock. Time for Eddie
to paint the house.

Nine o'clock,
time for Eddie...

Well?

Oh, Jake,
can't I do it tomorrow?

The house needs painting.

-Anyhow, never put off
till tomorrow what you can...
-[phone ringing]

Oh, it's the Interbone.
Tracy wants us
in the observatory.

Phew! Saved by the skull,
uh, bell.

[Eddie]Hey, Tracy's finishedthe Skelescope.

[Jake]
Congratulations, Tracy.

[Tracy grunting]

Hey, now we can look at anylocation in the whole universe.

I gotta see that
to believe it.

[Jake]Uh, how about a demonstration?

[Tracy]
Uh, no problem.

[Belfry laughing]

Uh, Tracy, I think
the Skelescope might need
some adjustments.

Why?

[grunting]

[Skelescope]
Oh, really? How childish.

It seems my sense of humor
is a bit too
advanced for the, uh...

...hairy one.

Uh, what?

Uh, we didn't realize
you were so talented.

Uh, please, could you
show us something

other than bananas?

Yeah. How about Murphy's comet?

[Skelescope]
Oh, very well.

But would you switch on
the force field
around the building?

It keeps the dust
off my lenses.

Display mode.
Murphy's comet.

Astro sector Z-15.

Approaching the Solar System.

Uh-oh. It's stopping!

That's impossible.
Comets don't stop moving.

[Prime Evil]
We did it.

Your combined energy
is bringing

this sector of the universe
to a complete stop.

Now, we will make
the gyroscope move backward

and time will reverse.

[laughing menacingly]

[Jake] I don't get it.
Comets just don't
suddenly stop.

Ugh, try that again.

[Belfry] Me neither.

[sighs] No point in driving
ourselves crazy.

Let's catch
Jessica's broadcast.

[laughing]

Oh, you gibbering junk heap.
You frightened me.

I'll pour molassesin your head.I'll turn you into a radio.

I'll sell you for a junk.I-I-I'll...

Jessica Wray coming to you
from the Metropolitan Museum

where the new Babylonian
exhibit has just opened.

The big attractionis this statueof King Balzar of Babylon,

who ruled 5000 years ago

and is still known
as the most evil king
who ever lived.

-[gasping]
-[Jake] What's happening?

[Belfry] Ah, he's come alive!

First, the comet,then Jessica.

We should've guessed, Jake.
Prime Evil's at it again.

We'd better get
moving and fast.

Oh. Can I go too?
Can I? Huh? Huh?

Not this time, Belfry.We need youto look after Ghost Command.

Oh, gee.
I never have any fun.

Okay, guys,
let's get into uniform.

[theme music]

[all]
Let's go, Ghostbusters!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

[screaming]

[whistling]

[screaming]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

[screaming]

[screaming]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

[snoring]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

Oh-oh, my aching suspension!

Why don't you me-me-meatballsbuy some parachutes?

Come, G.B.,Jessica's in trouble.

J-J-Jessica's in trouble?
Why didn't you say so?

[engine cranking]

[Eddie]Oh, my gosh! We can't get out.

The force field's
still turned on.

[Tracy]
I got it.

[grunting]
All clear.

[Eddie]
Oh, no! Everything's
completely stopped.

H-how come
we aren't stopped too?

It must be 'cause we have
the force field turned on.

Excellent!

Now to reverse
the time gyroscope.

[buzzing]

In a few hours, the Earthwill be 5000 years in the past

at a place where evil ruled.

[laughing menacingly]

Sufferin' spirits!
Now what's happening?

Look at Ghost Command.

Ghost Command's gone.

I'm glad I didn't
waste time paintin' it.

[crying]

What is it, Tracy?

[grunting]

Belfry...

Oh, no! Wherever Ghost Commandwent, Belfry went with it.

Oh, poor guy.

Gosh, Tracy, I'm sure Belfry
knew you really loved him.

Sure, you had arguments,
but you two were pals.

[Belfry laughing]

[Jake]
Belfry, you're okay.

Yeah! I got out when
things started disappearing.

Aw. [chuckles]
Tracy, I didn't know
you cared.

[grunts]

Come on, we gotta get
to the museum

and see if
Jessica's alright.

[Jake]
There aren't any
buildings left anywhere.

Not even any gas stations.

[Jake]
Down there's where
the museum should be.

[Tracy]
Ooh, all gone!

[Eddie]
It sure is,
gone right back into time.

[Jake]
You're right.

There haven't been Indianshere for the last 500 years.

The whole world's
going into the past
and Jessica's gone with it.

[grunts]
Got to find her.

Right, Trace.We do have to find her.

Our only clue is that statueof King Balzar coming to life.

We must go back in time
to ancient Babylon.

[waves lapping]

[Eddie]
It's a giant tidal wave!

Uh-oh! I forgotmy water w-w-wings.

Quick, Trace,
get us out of here!

Okey-dokey.
No problem.

[Belfry]
Ancient Babylon,
here we come.

[G.B.]
I don't wanna go to Babylon.

Couldn't we try C-C-Chicago?

[Belfry]
Chicago isn't there anymore.

Uh, come on,
faster, faster.

E-easy there, banana breath.

This isn't like hoppin' down
the Miami beach.

-You sure Babylon
was near the Red Sea?
-I think so.

If we could find a gas station,we can ask for directions.

I'll tell you one thing.

If I ever go back
to school again

I'll pay a lot more
attention to geography.

Hey, look at that.

[Eddie]
Wow, that's some rowboat.

Oh! Can we go closer?

Maybe they can give us
directions, huh?

[Tracy]
Okey-dokey.

Slave, bring me
something to eat.

Ma-ma-monsters.
Winged monsters.

Confound those
pesky Ghost Bumblers!

Sire, sire.

Drive them away, you fool!

I can't let those Ghost Bratsuncover my plan.

Not yet!

Archers, man your bows.

[Eddie]Lot of activity down there.

Guess they're gonna give usa big hello.

I think it's a big goodbye.

Let's get out of here!

[Tracy]
Okey-dokey.

[Eddie]
You, you think those guys
were ancient Babylonians?

I'm afraid so. Their clothes
look just like King Balzar's.

Hey, guys. Look, land.

[Jake]'If our guess was right, that'swhere we'll find Jessica.'

[Eddie]
Yeah, and Prime Evil too.

[Prime Evil]
How could they possibly
have escaped the effects

of the time gyroscope?

Oh, those are powerfulmonsters, sire.

Ah, but I'm just
as glad they're here.

Soon the world will be
stuck in the past for good

and the Ghostbusterswill be helpless to change it.

Besides, this waythey'll see my rottenest trick.

King Balzar
and Queen Jessica.

[Prime Evil laughs menacingly]

That's what you think.

Up, ship, and away!

[Belfry]Where is everybody, huh?

Sounds like some kind
of big rally goin' on.

I hope they left their
bows and arrows at home.

Ooh, ooh, look.

[crowd chattering]

Silence!

Soon the clock will be
turned back forever

and old Babylon
will rule the world.

No more nice guys.
Just lots of wickedness.

[laughing]

That means, you'll need
a really rotten king.

And I've got just
the man for the job.

A big hand for King Balzar.

[crowd cheering]

What're we gonna do?

Alright.
Here's the plan.

[whispering]

And then...

And you two guys...

[whispering continues]

Say a few wordsto the folks, Balzar.

[growling]

[Prime Evil]
And now comes
the most fun of all.

I hope you're out there,
Ghost Bumblers.

We're going to have
a royal wedding.

No!

Hands off, lunkhead.

They can't do that to Jessica.She-she's an American citizen.

Nobody's gonna do
anything to Jessica.

Get your jet packs ready, guys.

[Prime Evil]
Very well, Balzar.
Let the festivities begin.

Oh, watch it, bozo!

Seize him!

You'll be sorry for that.

[chuckling] No reasonto get all smoked up about it,Prime baby.

Argh!

[whistles]

Come on down, guys.

Hang on!

With pleasure.

No!

Just wait until
I send the Earth
back to the Stone Age!

[grunting]
Oh.

[Jake]
Come on, Tracy.

-Are you okay?
-Oh.

I'll be better when we get backto the 20th century.

Me too. But first we've got tofind out where Prime Evil went.

We've got to stop him
before he gets that
time gyro started again.

And I think I can help.

We came into the stadium
through a long dark tunnel.

You sure there isn'tsome other way we can do this?

Not unless you want
to wait 5000 years

to get back
to Ghost Command.

[Jake]
Hold it, everybody!

That's it.

[Prime Evil]
Bungling humans.

[laughing menacingly]

The time gyroscope
is running down.

When it stops,
we'll be in the Stone Age

and there'll be no way to turnback to the modern world.[laughs]

-[Jake] Hey!
-[Eddie] Hold it.

Sorry, I've got pressing
business elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I've left
you some playmates.

Let us have some sportwith the humans.

Down, boy!

[Jake]
If only we could get
that thing spinning again

in the other direction.

[grunting]

I could do it.

Give it
your best shot, Tracy,

while I see what I can
do about this bad weather.

[Eddie]
Hang in there, Tracy.

[growling]

[grunting]

[Jessica]
It's working.

[buzzing]

[Jessica]
Where, w-where are we?

[chuckles] I think we're
in beautiful downtown

20th century Babylon.

-You did it! Yahoo!
-Oh, wonderful.

[G.B. sputtering]

Well, come on, you guys.
All aboard.

[all cheering]

Boo, 9:15.
Time for Eddie to--

[Jake]
Hold it, Shock Clock.

I wanna show you somethin'.

See? He didn't need
any reminding.

Darn right. Never put off tilltomorrow what you can do today.

After all, tomorrow can
turn out to be yesterday.

[all laughing]

You two guys
get to have all the fun.

In today's story, you gotta
go back into the past.

Other times, you get to go
way ahead into the future.

I'm always stuck here.

That's notbein' stuck, Skele.

Today is all anyonereally has or needs.

That's true. You can't do
anything about yesterday.

And you can't do anything
until tomorrow comes.

And when it does,
well, it's today.

So make today really count

'cause today
is the best day of all.

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters