The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 46 - The Ghost of Don Quixote - full transcript

The ghost of Don Quixote arrives to protect a Spanish farmer and his family from an unscrupulous mine owner.

[theme song]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[Ghostbusters]
Let's go, Ghostbusters!

[thwack]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪



♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

[whooo]

[howling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

[toing]

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

[laughing]



[intense music]

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

What you reading, Eddie?

A good book, Jake,
called "Don Quixote."

That's pronounced Ke-ho-tee.
I read that in school.

All about some crazy
Spanish knight, right?

Sorta, I guess.

But I-but I think the pointof the book is that Don Quix...

I mean, Ki-ho-tee,always tried to do good deeds.

Even for people
who didn't appreciate them.

Well, if you say so, chum.

But I wouldn't take that booktoo seriously.

It's pretty old.

Heck, I doubt if anyone else
in the whole world

is actually reading it.

[crickets chirping]

[instrumental music]

[male 1]
Lights out, Humberto.

Oh, but Papa, I'm just
to the most exciting part.

Don Quixote is going to--

I'm sorry, Humberto.

You have school tomorrow,
and you need your rest.

Lights out.

You can read
"Don Quixote" tomorrow.

Ohh, all right, papa.
Goodnight.

Goodnight, Humberto.

"And then as Don Quixote
de la Mancha

rode forth to do battle

his squire, Sancho Panza,
was preparing to..."

Is Humberto reading
with the flashlight again?

Oh, he needs to sleep.

Yes, but I hateto discourage him.

Reading is so important.

Especially sincewe have no money

to send our sonto a good university.

[sighs]I will give him a few moreminutes before...

Huh?

-Ramon, what can that be?
-Motorcycles.

[engines revving]

And they're headed this way.

[gasps]Oh, Ramon!

I do not like the looks
of this.

Go to Humberto, Emelita.I'll hold.

[bang bang bang]

[grunts]

Greetings, farmer.

Ay-yi-yi-ya!

You mongrels!
How dare you attack us?

[Ramon]
Get out this instant!

Hey, man, take it easy.
We just came to party.

[vase shattering]

Yeah!

[swish, swish, swish]

No!

Stop this instant!

[laughing]

[grunting]

Release me, you fiends.

Good catch, Yellow.

Now hold him there
while we have some fun.

[wham]

[both gasp]

Mama, look!
My book, it's glowing.

[gasps]

[hissing]

[crackle]

[whizz]

[pop]

[whizz]

[instrumental music]

[Emelita]
Who is it?

It's-it's-it's Don Quixote!

[hissing]

[Humberto]
And Sancho Panza!

Hey, wait for me, master!

[boing]

[donkey braying]

Come on, Dapple! Andale!

[instrumental music]

This was just a warnin',
farmer.

Move out or we'll be back.

You monstrous...

Huh?

Hey-yi!

[bang]

Uh-uh-uh...

G-g-g-ghost!

Varlets, unhand
that simple peasant!

[screaming]

After the varlets, Sancho!

No me digas mas.

[galloping]

[engines revving]

[drum music]

[Ramon]
And then, the motorcycle
hoodlums ran away

with the ghost after them.

I cannot go to the police.

They will think
that I was crazy.

So, I have come to you,
Enrique, for advice.

You are my friend.

You are both wealthy and wise.

Tell me, what should I do?

Ah, a ghost, huh?
Sounds bad.

Yes, a ghost.But I'm not sure he was bad.

He actually helped scare offthe hoodlums, I-I think.

Bah! A ghost is a ghost.

And I know just who to call.

Miss Garcia,
get me the Ghostbusters.

[instrumental music]

[trring]

Hi, the Ghostbusters

have gone out of business.

We have not!

Well, ya might as well.

Ghostbusters.
Jake Kong speaking.

The ghost of Don Quixote?

Hey, we were just
talking about him.

We'll be right there.

Got a job, guys.
Into uniform!

[all] Let's go, Ghostbusters!

[theme song]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go...

Whoa! Yeow!

[whistling]

[screaming]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

Ah! Yeow!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

[screaming]

[screaming]

[Eddie]
Ya-a-a-a!

[bell ringing]

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

[music continues]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

[ma-ma-ma-ma brum brum]

[coughs]
Oooh! Aah!

Y-you know, if your bellies
were as light as your heads,

m-my job would be a lot easier.

[whirring]

[roaring]

[Eddie]
What ghost do we have
to bust in Spain, Jake?

An odd one, Eddie.

According to the report,it's the ghost of Don Quixote.

You're kidding!

But Don, uh, Quixotewasn't bad.

Hey, all I know is
what I was told, Eddie.

We'll find out more
when we get there.

[intense music]

Pray, your problems
will soon be over.

The Ghostbusters
are on their way.

Uh, gracias,Enrique.

But how aboutthe motorcyclists?

I worry about them
more than the ghost.

One thing at a time, Ramon.
One thing at a time.

-But--
-Trust me.

Adios!

[ha ha]

The Ghostbusters
will take care of that ghost

and then you three can go back to work on Ramon de la Torres.

That stupid farmer
doesn't know it

but his farm is right on top

of the richest copper mine
in all of Spain!

A what mine?

Copper, you idiot! Copper!

Copper? A policeman? Where?

Ay-yi-yi! Muy estupido.

No, you fools!
Copper is a valuable metal.

It is used for making money,
and I love to make money.

That's why I'm paying you
three hoodlums

to terrorize
Ramon de la Torres.

His land is right on top
of a rich copper mine.

I want him scared off the landso I can buy it cheap!

And I will not tolerate
any more failure.

S-sorry, Sandoval

but what were we supposed
to do about the ghost?

The ghost will be taken
care of.

You must make sure
you do your job.

I want Ramon de la Torres
scared off his farm...

tonight!

[laughs]

[intense music]

[Emelita]
Oh, Ramon, I'm so worried.

Ghosts and hoodlums!
I wish we could call
the police.

No, Emelita.

Enrique said thatwe must not call the police.

We must trust him.

[galloping]

What? Hoofbeats! Caramba!

The ghost is still out there.

[instrumental music]

[Yellow] Eh-eh,the-the ghost is stillthere, SenorSandoval.

[Red]
Yeah, and he's already
chased us off once.

We can't go back in
until he's taken care of.

He'll be taken care of.

The Ghostbusters
should be here soon.

And as soon as
they bust the ghost

you three can go bustup the de la Torres farmsome more.

The sooner you run that farmerand his family off the land

the sooner I can buy it.

And the sooner
I get the land, ha ha ha

the sooner
it will make me rich!

[ha ha ha]

[whirring]

Listen, do you hear that?

That, I believe,
my dear villainous vipers

is the Ghostbusters.

[whirring]

Oh, Ramon, what can it be?

I-I'm not sure, Emelita.
It sounds like jets.

But why would a jet be flyingway out here?

I do not know.

The crew must either be lost,or complete fools.

Oh, boy, the Ghostbusters!

No, Humberto, stay here!

[whirring]

Ay caramba!
This is great!

[Humberto]The Ghostbusters are coming!

[whirring]

[speaking in foreign language]

[coughs]
Dust!

It figures! And I just
had a w-wax job too.

[coughs]

Familiade la Torres?

I'm Jake Kongof the Ghostbusters.

We understand that you've beenhaving a little trouble

with the ghost of Don Quixote.

- Si.
-No!

Don Quixote was a good man.

His ghost would
never hurt anyone.

He's right, you know.

Hush, Humberto.

As SenorSandoval said,"A ghost is a ghost."

Right, so, now if you'll
just show us this ghost

we'll bust him
and be on our way.

-T-t-t-there.
-What?

[all screaming]

Identify thyselves, knaves!

Are ye men of peace?

Whoa! W-we're men of peace.

And-and he's an ape of peace.

Yeah.

Don't waste your time
talking to a ghost, Eddie.

It's ghostbustin' time.

- Si,you're not kiddin'.
-You lunk!

[Jake]
The Dematerializer,
it's ruined!

[screams]

Just like we're gonna be
if we don't get out of here!

Gangway!

Cowardly varlets!
Stand and fight!

[all screaming]

Some Ghostbusters!
The ghost is chasin' them.

No matter.

At least,
the ghost is after them

and not guarding the house.

So get down there,
you vermin!

I want de la Torres
scared off that farm now!

[engines revving]

Mamacita!Engines!

The motorcyclists are
returning!

Oh, Ramon, please!

No matter what
SenorSandoval said

call the police, please!

I think you are right, Emelita.

[engines revving]

[thwack]

[thud]

The telephone is dead.

[tire screeching]

[Emelita]
Oh, Ramon, ay yi yi!

Greetings, farmer.
We're back.

[drum music]

I-I t-think Don Quixote

is trying to make a point
here, J-J-Jake.

Yeah.

Well...try to reason
with him, Eddie.

After all,
you were reading the book.

Yeah. That's right.

And from what I remember,
Don Quixote was no bully.

[Don]
I am Don Quixote
de La Mancha

defender of the weak,
champion of the helpless!

If that's so,
then why did you attack us?

I attack you?

You attacked me!

-He's right, you know.
-Yeah, but...

We had a report that you'd beenattacking the de la Torres's.

Attacking them?

Caramba!

I was defending them from thosemachine-riding monsters!

Oh! Always are my good
deeds misunderstood.

He's probablytellin' the truth, Jake.

That was always happenin'to Don Quixote in the book.

You might be right, Eddie, I--

[poof]

Master, the criminales,
they've returned.

Those caracoles!

They shall face the wrathof Don Quixote de La Mancha!

[Eddie]
What's going on?

I think there's trouble
at the de la Torres's farm.

Let's go.

[thwack]

Ready to move out yet, farmer?

Or do you need
some more convincin'?

Oh, not my clock.

It was a present
from my grandmama.

[he he he]

[clang]

That was some mistake, farmer.

I'm gonna... uh!

[crash]

Caracoles!Dogs!

To attack
a defenseless family!

Would you dare have the courage

to attack
Don Quixote de La Mancha?

[poof]

I-I-it's the ghost!

Eh, uh, I-I'm gettin'
out of here.

[instrumental music]

Jake, uh,
those motorcyclists.

[Eddie]
These must be the bad guys
Don Quixote mentioned.

[Jake]
Right you are, Eddie.
And they're getting away.

Get that Ghost Gummerready, Eddie.

It's time to gointo action. Hit it!

[engine revving]

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[grunt grunt]

[screaming]

[splat]

[thud]

Looks like the local prison

is going to be a little fullertonight, eh, Don Quixote?

Such is the fate of evil, Jake.

[growling]

This will teach usto trust that rat

Enrique Sandoval!

Enrique?

But he is my friend.

How could he possibly have
anything to do with this?

Your good friend found out

that your farm was right
over a rich copper mine.

He was tryin' to scare you
off the property

so he could get it for himself.

Is this true?

Carambolas!

Of course it's true,
you peasant!

I was going to make a fortune.

Aha, but, now of course

the fortune will be yours,
Senor De la Torres.

[gasps]Ramon!

Did you hear that?Do you realize what this means?

Yes, Emelita.

It means we'll be able
to send Humberto

to the university after all.

Looks like a realhappy ending, Don Quixote.

[Don]
That is the best kind,
SenorSpencer.

Don Quixote,
I'd like to apologize

for the way I acted
when we first met.

I was wrong to decideyou were bad withoutgiving you a chance.

Worry not, Mr. Kong.

If you have read my books

you will know that such errorswere common in my adventures.

[Humberto]
Don Quixote?

I-I will be honored

if you would autograph
my copy of "Don Quixote."

I'd like to remember youalways.

You will, my son.

[Quixote]
Every time you read
my adventures.

For that is the adventure
of reading.

But you can always
visit me again.

And thus, the story
is never over!

Yep. I couldn't have
said it better myself.

I'll say.

[all laughing]

Oh, hi, there,
in today's story

we met a little boy
who liked to read books.

He got to meet the ghost of his favorite hero, Don Quixote

and have an adventure
with the Ghostbusters.

You may not meet your favoriteghost when you pick up a book

but you can always be sure
of having a great adventure.

Because that's what reading is,a great and wonderful adventure

inside your imagination.

Bye now, and happy reading!

[theme song]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters,
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters...