The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Secret of Mastodon Valley - full transcript

After defeating Apparitia and Airhead the Ghostbusters head back to prehistoric times, looking for another piece of the stone.

[theme music]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters ♪

[grunt]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

[all]
Let's go, Ghostbusters.

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪



♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Ooh

[howling]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

[grunting]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪♪

[laughs]

[eerie music]

[Jake narrating] In the last
episode, my buddies and I

travelled back in time
to ancient Egypt.

We were searching
for another piece



of the stone tablet
when Tracy was captured.

[Apparitia]
Oh, by the time I return

you'll be a
3000-year-old mummy, dummy.

[grunting]

[dramatic music]

Yeah, soon you'll work
for Airhead.

You'll be mummy's little
helper.

[laughing]

Yeah, Airhead make joke.

[chuckling]

Stay here, I'm going
to help him.

If you breathe that mist,
you'll end up a mummy yourself.

I don't care.
Tracy needs my help.

And you'll need mine.
What can I do?

Hook this up to that mask.

Oh, Ghostbusters.

Me dead.

[screech]

[thud]

[dramatic music]

[thud]

Uh-oh. Me no like.

[music continues]

[zapping]

Tracy, c'mon, quick.

[Airhead]
Me full of hot air.

[laughing]

Airhead make joke.

Airhead go back
to hauntquarters now.

-[grunting] You saved me life.
-Don't mention it, Tracy.

We're pals, aren't we?

Look. The fresh air
is making you young again.

[grunting]

-No card.
-It's okay, Tracy.

You're alright now.

[laughs] No, it's not that.

He says he just went
through 3000 birthdays

and didn't even get a card.

[laughs] I see.
Will this do?

Uh.

[grunting, laughing]

We better find Eddie before
he gets himself in trouble.

Oh, boy, wait till Jake
and Tracy and Futura

see this slick disguise
I found.

[instrumental music]

I feel almost like a king.

Hey, some kinda jewel box.

Uh, what's inside?.

Whoa!

[thud]

[music continues]

Well, where am I?

[screaming]

Oh, Great One.

Great One?

Oh, shucks.

I'm not great, you canjust call me terrific. [laughs]

No, no, please.
Don't hit.

[gong]

[screaming]

[music continues]

It is forbidden to ring
the royal gong.

But, sire

the ghost of the great pharaoh
has returned.

At last, the ancient prophecy
has come true.

Yum. Grapes. [laughs]

Hey, thanks.

Screamin' always
makes me hungry.

[male #1]
Great One.

W-what's wrong?
Dropped something?

I am the high priest
of old Egypt.

Your arrival brings much joy

for thy great deeds
are known far and wide.

My great deeds?

Huh? Oh! How 'bout that?

I'm already getting areputation as a famousGhostbuster.

[indistinct chatter]

Wow.
I just became a Ghostbuster

and I've already got a fan
club.

Hmm. I forgot to check out

what's in this jewel box.

It is the royal scepter.

Oh, Great One, raise
the scepter in celebration.

This is my first
ghost bustin' award.

I'd like to thank
my nursery school teacher

Miss Jones, uh, my barber Harry

my bus driver Mister..

-Oo-ooh, elevator.
-Right, Tracy.

Right, Tracy. I think
it is some sort of elevator.

Maybe it'll take us down
to where Eddie fell.

[all screaming]

Tracy, brakes.

[grunting]

I said "brakes,"
not "break."

Ooh, sorry.

[music continues]

[thud]

Careful, don't make
any sudden moves.

Look. Isn't that Eddie?

Eddie, Eddie.

Up here. He can't hear me.

My dentist, Dr. Moller

and my buddies Jake,
Tracy and Futura

who stuck with me while I
was becoming a Ghostbuster.

A-a-and finally, my father.

Wherever you are, pop,
this one's for you.

How're we gonna get
down from here?

[music continues]

-With these.
-Skis. Great.

Never thought I'd be skiing
in the middle of a desert.

[all screaming]

[thump]

Jake, Tracy, Futura.

Boy! Am I glad to see you.

Great One, who have you
summoned from the sky?

Oh, theseare just my fellowGhostbuster..

Uh, fellow Great Ones.

It is truly a miracle.

[Eddie] Look. I won
a ghost bustin' award.

It's Tracy tablet tracer.

The stone we're looking for
must be in that scepter.

[Apparitia]
I'll take that.

[zap]

Hey, that's mine.

[Apparitia laughing ]
Not anymore.

Say, somebody stop her.

As the high priest of Egypt,
I call on the spirit

of the Sphinx.

Oh, mighty Sphinx,

defend that which is ours.

Prime Evil will probably make
me

head ghost when he finds out
I have the stone.

[roaring]

[screaming]

Let me outta here.

Hauntquarters, here I come.

[instrumental music]

"Bug hosts. The ones who find
fathers and save the future."

[Eddie]
Bug hosts? Uh, who are they?

I don't know. But if we canfind them, they'll find ourdads.

Maybe the next piece will tell
us more about the bug hosts.

According to Tracy's tracer,
it's at the beginning of time.

Let's go.

[instrumental music]

Oh, Great One,
you are not leaving.

Uh, sorry, Mister High Priest,
but I have to find my father.

Please stay and rule us.

You will be idolized
throughout the land.

You shall have riches,
fame, power.

Uh, throw in a pizza
and you got a deal.

Eddie.

They're right.
All the riches fame and power

in the world aren't
as important as my pop.

Nothin' is.

But thanks for everything.

It's been a gatsby and great..

[kissing]

I just had 'em shined.
You don't have to do that.

Oh, man.

[Brat-A-Rat]
Yuck. [laughs]

[snickering] Your priceless
Apparitia is slacking off.

Oh, please, Prime Evil.

It'll take forever
to sew him back together.

[hissing]
Quiet, you sniveling ghost.

You let those ghosts... busting
squirts get the best of you.

I hate sewing.

Oh, easy come, easy sew.

[chuckling]

Airhead make joke.

[chuckling]

Oh. Sometimes it just doesn't
pay to be a ghost.

[dramatic music]

[Prime Evil]
Those junior ghost... busters

are becoming major pests.

No matter. When they get
to the beginning of time

they'll meet the ghost
of the missing link.

They won't stand a chance
against him. [laughs]

[hissing]

[dramatic music]

[instrumental music]

[swoosh]

[music continues]

[thud]

[Time Hopper]
Status report, Futura.

We are now
at the beginning of time.

How about goin' toa dr-r-rive-in with mesometime?

[Time Hopper]
Not even if you
were the last car on Earth.

Brr-brr...
Ooh, she's crazy about me.

Hey, you guys every heard
of a r-r-rest stop?

[instrumental music]

[rumbling]

Look. Over there.

[dramatic music]

[rocks rumbling]

[music continues]

[Jake] It's a caveman.
And he's in trouble.

We gotta help him.

[grunting]

[screech]

[instrumental music]

[grunting]

[clanking]

[grunting]

[caveman grunting]

[all cheering]

[caveman chattering]

Hey, they speak
the same language.

Hunter Tracy.

-Anga.
-Anga?

I think his name is Anga,
and he looks friendly.

Hey, Tracy's tracer's actin'
up.

[music continues]

[beeping]

What a racket. The piece of
tablet's gotta be nearby.

L-l-look where it's pointin'.

[beeping continues]

[Eddie]
Sure looks scary.

[music continues]

[indistinct chattering]

[grunting]

What's Anga grunting about?

Maybe I can read his mind.

He's saying...

...it's the haunted valley

of the mastodons.

Anga wants to help.

He knows the secret entrance
to Mastodon Valley.

Hey, thanks, Anga.

C'mon, let's go.

[instrumental music]

[birds chirping]

[panting]

Boy, I hope
it's not much further.

[sighing] We've been walking
for almost five minutes.

There it is, the entrance.

[dramatic music]

[roaring]

[grunting]

Anga says Mastodon Valley
is where all the evil

and supernatural power began.

[grunting]

And it's guarded by an army
of spirits and dinosaur ghosts.

She-he. They sound
dangerous and hungry.

Tell Anga that we'll go therest of the way by ourselves.

Explain that I don't wanna
put him in any more danger.

[grunting]

[grunting]

-[Jake] Thanks a whole lot.
-[Eddie] We'll see you.

[dramatic music]

[Eddie]
This place gives me the creeps.

I feel like something horrible
is gonna happen.

[music continues]

Somethin' like that.

[roaring]

[screaming]

[roaring]

[growling]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[screech]

[Futura]
I think we fooled him.

Phew! That future fossil
was ready to gobble us up.

Probably not.
It's a stegosaurus.

All they ever ate was...
I mean, is plants.

Plants?
Why didn't you say so?

Hah! Then we have nothing
to worry about.

[chomping]

[thud]

[dramatic music]

[roar]

[thudding]

[music continues]

[roar]

[screech]

We're trapped!

[music continues]

[roar]

[cawing]

Oh, no!
It's a pterodactyl ghost.

[cawing]

[screech]

[indistinct chattering]

[cawing]

Huh?

[grunting]

Look where he's taking us.

Gee! Mastodon Valley's
crummiest neighborhood.

[cawing]

[dramatic music]

[growling]

He sure looks angry.

Guess if I was that ugly,
I'd be angry too.

[cawing]

Good! You have
brought me new victims.

Strange looking creatures.
You have done well.

Now, go!

I will deal with
these intruders harshly.

[cawing]

I can explain. You see, we'retrying to find our fathersand--

Silence!

I am the ghost
of the missing link.

I rule Mastodon Valley.

Hmm. You creatures seem
more intelligent

than the other
cave people.

Yeah, we sure are.
Ask me anything.

Like, who-who's gonna
discover America?

Or is anyone gonna invent
the telephone or...

Creatures who are smarter
than I am must be imprisoned.

[dramatic music]

You shall be my prisoners

until I decide to eliminate
you.

That traverse
is filled with hot lava.

There's no escape.

Just to be sure you
don't try anything smart

I'll take these.

-[Eddie] Hey, come on.
-[Futura] Leave it alone!

[music continues]

There!
And if you try to get them

you'll have
such a nasty fall.

[laughs]

[chuckles] He doesn't know you
can use your teleporting power
to get us out of here.

That's what I've been
trying to do, Eddie.

But for some reason my mental
powers are getting weak.

Hey! I think
I see something.

[upbeat music]

Wow! I found it!
The piece of the tablet.

-Alright!
-We did it!

Yeah!

Tracy, let's have
the rest of the tablet.

[grunting]

[roars]

[music continues]

What? It doesn't make sense.

[music continues]

"Ghostbusters,
the ones who find fathers

and save the future."

Ghostbusters?
Uh, that's us!

We're the ones
who find our fathers, but how?

Especially,
when it looks like

we're trapped
in this cave forever!

[upbeat music]

[Jake] Stay tuned for scenes
from the exciting conclusion

of our story.

Here are some exciting
scenes from the spectacular
conclusion to our story.

[dramatic music]

[roars]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[creaking]

[music continues]

[theme music]

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters
let's go ♪

♪ Let's go
let's go ♪

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters ♪