The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 39 - Train to Doom-De-Doom-Doom - full transcript

It's up to the Ghostbusters to prevent Haunter from stealing the Royal Crown of Patronia and becoming king.

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

Let's go, Ghostbusters!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪



[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

[howling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

[laughing]

[theme music]

[bleep, bleep, bleep]

[ringing]

Hey, how 'bout one
of you answering the phone?



I-I'm watching a monster movie,
you get it, Tracy.

A-a-and hurry, you big ape,
or I'll answer it myself,
ha ha.

Aaah!

Uh-oh.

[thud]

[Otis]
Hello?, Hello, anyone there?
Uh, this is Prince Otis.

-Prince Otis?
-Hey, I read about him.

Tomorrow the prince is gonna be
crowned King of Petronia.

Your Royal Majesty,
this is Jake Kong

at your service,
Your Highnesty.

I need your help,
for the past ten years

the Petroniam royal crown
has been kept hidden

in England's Tower of London.

Now, that I'm going
to become king,

the crown is to be
returned to my country.

But I'm worried
that it'll be stolen by ghosts.

Ghosts?
What makes you think that?

The royal secret serviceoverheard a radio transmission

from Prime Evil.

Prime Evil? Wow!
There's no time to waste.

We're on our way
to England, Your Excellency.

Oh, thanks, jolly good.

Duke Fenwick will be waiting
for you at the Tower of London.

[thunk]

Hey, guys, what do you say
we go in uniform?

Why not?Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's go, Ghostbusters!

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

Whoa!

Yaow!

[whistling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

Ow!

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

Whoa!

Yaow!

[ding]

[snoring]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

Ooh, my aching shock absorbers!

Why don't you guys
go on a diet?

Sorry about that, G.B.

Into flight mode.

[swoosh]

[splat]

After you two steal the crown

take it to Petronia.

According to their royal law,
whoever possesses the crown

must be made their king.

When you're king,
you'll claim it all for me.

Sounds positively smashing.

I say, we're on our way,
cheerio.

Tally-ho!

[Jake] Ah, England!

Nothing makes me feel better
than a change of scenery.

It's very nice of you
to show us around,
Duke Fenwick.

[Eddie]
It's an old suit of armor,
Tracy.

You've got nothing
to worry about, Duke Fenwick.

We'll protect
the prince's crown.

It isn't only the crown.

I'm worried that the royal
jewels might be stolen too.

Why is that?

The reason the Prince
sent me to England
was to sell his jewels.

'You see our kingdom
is very poor.'

This is the famous
Star Diamond.

The Prince's
most prized possession.

But he wants to sell it

to buy food,
and clothing for our people.

How about that?Prince Otis must be an OK guy.

Duke, you have nothing
to worry about.

We Ghostbusters
haven't failed yet.

Thank you. I feel better.

Now, where's the crown
and the rest of the jewels?

They're being guardedat the top floor of the tower.

[Fenwick] Up those stairs.

Then, let's get goin'.

The tower's five storeys tall?

Oh, next time we take a job
make sure it includes
elevators.

And put this bright one
with the others.

[grunting]

[thud]

[hissing]
-Blimey! Did you hear that?
-Hear what?

Who-who...

What are you?

Why, we're rude,
uninvited guests.

Haunter, show them
how rude we are.

My displeasure.

[zap]

-Let me out of here!
-What's going on here?

Ha ha ha.

Don't they look like a couple
of fuzzy caterpillars?

Now, my bubblizer
will get them out of here.

[zap]

And now,
to steal the crown and...

-Where is it?
-Where is what?

The Star Diamond.

Oh, it's gone!

What happened to it?

Don't know
and don't jolly care.

All I want is my crown.

I say, a perfect fit. Ha ha.

Now, on to Petronia
where I shall become king.

We're not going anywhere
until I find my diamond.

Only, one more...flight to go.

[indistinct shouting]

Uh-oh, looks like
double bubble trouble.

-[Mysteria] Oh, look.
-Uh-oh.

[Mysteria] That animal's
wearing my diamond.

Hand it over!

Do what she says if you know
what's good for you.

Run, Tracy, we'll stop 'em.

[grunting]

You're not going anywhere.

Oh, ha, ha, ha.

Is that so?

[zap]

-Hey, come on, it's not fair.
-No, it's not fair.

Oh, you expect us
to be fair? Ha ha ha.

I'll teach that ape
to make a monkey out of me.

[grunting]

[Haunter] There he is.

screech

Mmm-hmm.

This is the only way
he could have gone.

I say, look at that.

Who does he think he's fooling?

Not me.

In fact, darling, I'd say
he's in a rather
ticklish situation.

[laughing]

[clang, clang, clang]

Hang on, we're coming, pal!

[Mysteria]
Now, for the finishing touch.

[laughing]

[Mysteria] The Star Diamond.

Oh, at last it's mine.

Good, now,
let's go to Petronia.

So, I can become king.

Tally-ho!

So, that's Prime Evil's plan,
to make Haunter king.

We've gotta stop that.

[laughing]

[Jake] Try to hit
the point of that lance.

[pop]

[Jake] Whoa!

Quick, to the Ghost Buggy,
hurry!

[Jake] Oh, terrific,
we're completely lost.

We'll never catch up
with Haunter and Mysteria.

It doesn't make sense.

According to my map
we should be nearly...

Nah, now I know what's wrong.

The map's upside down.

E-e-everything y-y-you guys dois upside down.

[Eddie] Let's see. Uh-oh.

Here's a place
called Haunted Mountain.

Y-you wouldn't consider
turning around, would ya?

No, Eddie, just read the map.

Make a right turn
through that mountain pass.

Yeah, now I know
where we're headed.

So do I. Headed for trouble.

[Jake]
There's Haunted Mountain.
Creepy looking, huh?

Petronia's on the other side.

Haunter and Mysteria
have gotta be around.

Hey, look, there they are.

Got G.B.'s snow outfit, Tracy?

Uh-ha.

Oh, now
they expect m-m-me to ski.

W-well, I always knew

the Ghostbusters
were going downhill.

Let's get 'em!

You know, darling,
I was thinking

since we have the crown
why should we give

Petrobnia's gold to Prime Evil.

-You don't mean...
-Oh, yes, I do.

Mmm, a splendid idea, Mysteria.

You'll be king
and I, darling, can be queen.

And we'll keep
all the gold for ourselves.

What did you say?

Ha, ha, ha,
just a little joke, he, he.

[Prime Evil] Then how about
just a little bolt?

[zap]

[Prime Evil] Well, here come
those ghostbunglers.

Those blimeys are catching up.

We've got to lose them.

Take the shortcut
through Haunted Mountain.

Oh, but they'll just follow us.

Let them,
in fact I hope they do.

The mountain spirit lives
on haunted mountain

I'll see to it
that it takes care of that...

...uh, um, Ghostbusters.

Once and for all.

[cackles]

Wh-where'd they go?

Maybe they went
into that canyon.

screech

[all] Yaow!

[roars]

[screaming]

Switch on G.B.'s
super duper scooper.

Okey-dokey.

Get going, G.B.,
dig an escape tunnel.

Work, work, work.
That's all I do.

-It's getting closer, hurry.
-Hurry, hurry. Faster.

[roars]

[Eddie] He, he, he. We did
a pretty good disappearing act.

[Jake] Yup, but if we're goingto catch Mysteria and Haunter

we better start digging up.

-Ugh!
-Yeah!

I think
I froz-z-ze my tailpipe.

Everyone on full alert.

So, keep one eye out
for Mysteria and Haunter

and the other eye out
for that snow monster.

Looks like we've got
double trouble.

[Eddie] Get a load
of the mountain spirit,

it's even more awesome.

I say, we'd love
to sit and chat

but we have a...train to catch.

[Mysteria]
Oh, it's the Orient Express.

Oh, how fortunate,
now we can go to Petronia
in style.

We've gotta stop them!

If the mountain spirit
doesn't stop us first.

Look.

[roars]

Got anything
in your Ghostpack to help us?

[grunting]

Is that it?

What about this?

All right.

Our Freeze-O-Matic.

[zap]

Nice work, Tracy.
It turned to solid ice.

Yeah. It'll take a week
for the monster to defrost.

Come on, we gotta catch up
with Haunter and Mysteria.

[Haunter] Oh, this is the
only way to travel.

Faster, they're gettin' away!

[G.B.] If you wanna fast,
go ride a rocket.

Ya-hoo!

[screaming]

Whoa!

[Jake] Ready, set...jump!

Wha-ho-hoo!

Those infernal Ghostbusters.

They're in the passenger car.

[intense music]

My ghost-sniffing schnozzle
is picking them up.

Maybe they're in disguise.

Haunter. That beard's
a fake, take it off.

How dare you.

Sorry. Make believe that neverhappened OK, huh?

Eddie, you've got
to be more careful.

Now, that woman is obviously
Mysteria. Watch this.

Oh!

Sorry.

Forget it, Tracy.
My nose isn't working.

It must be out of odor.

Uh-oh!

Now, what do we do?

Tracy and I
will check the cars up front.

-You check the caboose.
-Right.

[Eddie] Ready or not,
here I come.

[Mysteria] I'd say that caboose
needs setting lose.

Jolly good idea.

zap

Goodbye and good riddance.

Wh-what was that?

[rumbling]

Why do I get the feeling,
I'm in a heap of trouble.

Yahow! Yahoo!

Or better yet, help.

Eddie, hang in there.
We'll save you.

[whistles]

whoosh

All right, now what?

OK, Tracy, get G.B.
into choo-choo mode.

Choo-choo?
You got a cold or something?

[Tracy] Right!

[mechanical whirring]

Now, we're rid of all three
of those nincompoops.

[laughing]

Oh!

[Eddie screaming]

We're coming!

Whoa!

[Eddie] Good, I'm slowing down.

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

[Eddie screaming]

Oh, no! It jumped on to
that old track.

[grunting]

[Jake] He's headed
for that broken down bridge.

[clang]

Eddie, stay there!
Tracy'll get you.

[screech]

[grunting]

[screaming]

Oh, no!

Uh-oh!

[whimpering]

[intense music]

On your back? Well, all right.

Eddie, take your hands away.
Tracy can't see.

Don't fall, Tracy,
you might hurt yourself.

And me too.

That's it,
you're gonna make it.

All right, Tracy.

No problem.

Come on, guys,
Mysteria and Haunter

have a big head start on us.

I bet they've already
reached Petronia.

Hmm, Petronia is
on the other side
of that mountain ridge.

[Jake]
Maybe we can take a shortcut.

Turn on the
super-duper-scooper.

Again?
I'm too p-pooped to scoop.

Y-yes I have no choice.

[music continues]

[Haunter] There it is.
My future palace.

You mean, my palace.

-I'm going to be queen.
-Give that back.

And I want
the Star Diamond, too.

[snap]

How dare you. It's mine.

What's going on?
Where are the Ghostbusters?

It's mine.

-I say, what's happening?
-The grounds shaking.

[rumbling]

Sorry, we're late.
We just wanted
to congratulate you two.

Well, after all
you beat us here

so we wanna give you a prize.

A prize?
What're you talking about?

Well, since you like
to travel in style.

We thought we'd give you
a first class, one way trip

back to Haunt-Quarters.

[zap]

[Jake] Good catch, Eddie.

I don't know how to thank you.

And now, I must see about
selling the jewels.

No, Prince Otis, you don't have
to sell your royal jewels.

I don't understand.

My people are poor, very poor.

Not anymore. Haunted Mountain
is almost solid gold.

Your country is rich,
very rich.

Gold? Wonderful.

Now, I can feed
and clothe my people.

I can build schools
and libraries.

And as a reward, I'll buy you
all, whatever you want.

A banana tree.

No, Tracy, no bananas.

Thank you, prince,
but we don't want any reward.

Speak for yourself.

I want a color TV, a computer,

a lifetime supply of cookies,
an amusement park,

a ton of ice-cream, a pony,

an airplane, a swimming pool,

no, two swimming pools.
Ha ha ha.

One hot and one cold.

And a boat.
A big, big, big, boat...

In today's story,
Haunter and Mysteria

we're caught just before
they stole the royal jewels.

Yeah, but I'll bet,
they didn't learn
anything from it.

What do you think they
should've learned, Belfry?

They should've learned
that stealing won't
get you anywhere.

Especially if you get caught.

Even if you don't get caught,
stealing is wrong

and you'll never feel
right about yourself

even if no one
finds out about it.

Sounds like good advice.

Too bad Haunter
and Mysteria don't get it.

But we know you do.

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters
Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters ♪