The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 37 - Outlaw In-Laws - full transcript

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

[grunting]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

Let's go, Ghost...

[together] Busters!



♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

[howling]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go



♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

Ha ha ha.

[comical music]

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

[yawns]

It's about time
we all hit the sack.

-Coming, Eddie?
-Right with you, Jake.

Well, goodnight, Belfry.

Goodnight.

[boom]

Bang on target.

Right in the middle
of Ghost Command.

Now, where is that
blasting bat?

Ha ha ha.

[gasping]

Ha ha! Nabbed you, ol' boy,
haven't I?

[grunts]

Let me go, you crummy ghost.

-Not a bloomin' chance.
-Oh, yeah?

Well, a Belfry blast should
curl your moustache, Haunter.

Sorry, ol' chum,but I was rather expecting it.

[mumbling]

And speaking of expecting,
Prime Evil is expecting us.

Ah, Haunter.
It's about time you returned.

Do you have that
blasting bat Belfry?

See for yourself, ol' boy.

Don't call me ol' boy,
you little twerp.

[mumbling]

-Now, uncock him.
-Uncock him?

I say, ol' bean,
you think that's wise?

[snarls]

You question my judgment,
Haunter?

Uh, uh,
n-n-not a bit, ol' chap.

[screaming]

[crash]

[boom]

Ha ha ha.

What a magnificent
song of distraction.

-Thank you.
-Ha ha ha.

It'll be just what I require
to conquer the Earth.

[babbling]

-W-w-what?
-[Prime Evil] Yes.

My giant spectral amplifier
is almost completed.

Soon it will be ready
to send to Earth.

There I will amplify your
Belfry blast a billion times

and destroy every
building on Earth.

Ha ha ha.

Argh! You've shorted
your circuit, spark face.

You need a Belfry blast
for your evil plan to work

and I'll never help ya.
Not even a whisper.

We'll see about that, rodent.

I think you'll change
your tune soon enough

after a little stay
in the closet of fear.

[zap]

[[thud]]

[howling]

[stuttering]

Ha ha ha.

Soon you will do as I command.

My evil bluff
is almost complete.

Nothing can go wrong now.

[Prime Ordeal] Yoo-hoo!
Itchy, where are you?

Oh, no!

It's my sister, Prime Ordeal!

-What's she doing here?
-Oh, boy!

Itchy! Itchy!
Oh, there you are, Itchy.

Yes, here I am.
Don't call me Itchy.

Everytime I hear that name
I have to scratch.

Besides, what in
the name of evil
are you doing here...dear?

Quiver and Quake.

[screaming]

Scared Stiff.

[crash]

Argh!

You clumsy clank
brain calamities.

I should scrap the lot of you.

[[clang], [clang]]

Itchy, now look
what you've done.

And with good servants
so hard to find too.

Argh!

[yawning]

I, uh, I can't sleep.
Think I'll read for a while.

Know any good books, Belfry?

Belfry?

He's gone!

Oops! What's this? Oh, no!

Jake! Tracy!

[[thud]]

What is it, Eddie?
What's wrong?

Belfry is missing. Look.

This is Haunter's net.

That means Haunter
must have captured Belfry.

And that means Prime Evil hashis miserable hands on Belfry.

Oh, boy!

Poor Belfry.
What are we gonna do, Jake?

Only one thing we can do, guys.

Change clothes.

[together]
Let's go, Ghostbusters.

[theme music]

[screech]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

[music continues]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, let's go

Yeow!

Yeow!

F-f-flat my tires,
why don't you?

Is this trip
r-r-really necessary?

Flight mode, G.B.
Prime Evil's captured Belfry.

W-w-what?
Belfry was my favorite.

He didn't weigh much. Let's go.

[boom]

[swoosh]

We're on our way, Belfry.
Hang on.

Just how long are you planningon staying, dear sister?

Not too long I hope.

Oh, just a tiny visit, Itchy.

Ah, a day or two, not more.

I'll bet.

At least you didn't bring
that little brat of yours
this time.

[Snookums] Mommy!

Oh, no!

Ooh! Hey, look
what I found, mommy.

Oh-ho. Oh, Snookums.
Isn't that nice?

Be careful!
That vase is priceless.

Ya-a-a-a!

[crack]

Argh!

Eee! Oh, boy! He he he.

[screaming]

Mommy!

[gasps] Snookums!

How dare you havesuch a dangerous robot around?

[[clang]]

Oh, poor little Snookums.

[sobbing]

Did those nasty robot
give a zowie?

[sobbing]

Yeow!

[blowing raspberry]

Say hello to Uncle Itchy,
Snookums.

Don't call me Itchy.

Hiya, Itchy.
Wanna smell my flower?

[splash]

Now, now, Snookums, ho ho ho,
mustn't squirt Uncle Itchy.

Stop calling me Itchy.

Oh, don't be silly,
little brother.

I've always called you Itchy.

Ever since that time
you had poison ivy.

Argh! Don't remind me.

[all laughing]

Well, come on, Snookums.

I'll show you where Uncle Itchy
keeps his very best toys.

See ya, Itchy. He he he.

[sniggering]

And what are you laughing at?

Oh, n-nothing.

Itchy! Ha ha ha.

[grunting]

Oh, golly, Scared Stiff.

That must have really
rattled your circuits.

Yeah, but it was worth it.
Prime Itchy.

Ha ha ha.

[all laughing]

[howling]

Y-y-you guys play cards?

[Prime Evil] Ha ha ha.

My spectral amplifier
is completed.

Now, all that remains
between me and world conquest

is a puny bat.

And by this time,
my fearsome ghosts

will certainly have
filled him with fear.

You'll now do whatever I want.Just watch.

Be ready to obey my every...

What?

Got any threes?

Go fish.

[Prime Evil]
What in the name of evil
is going on here?

You ghosts are supposed
to be scaring this puny bat

out of his wits.

Sorry, Prime Evil.

I guess we forgot.

Forgot! I'll give you
something you won't forget.

[Snookums] Yeah, but I don't
like those toys.

[grunting]

I want to play with this toy.

No, no, not my bone-trawler.

♪ Na-na na-na na na

[blowing raspberry]

Just get away, you hear me?

[[clang]]

Leave Snookums alone, Itchy.

He's not going to hurt
your silly machine.

Yeah. I just wanna play it
like you do, Uncle Itchy.

Stop calling me Itchy.

[splatt]

Ouch!

He he he. Oh, gnarly. Ha ha ha.

Now look what you've done.

Well, I've had it with you.

[[clang]]

You stop that, Itchy.

It was your own fault
for getting in the way.

Oh, really...

Ow!

[instrumental music]

[Jake]
Hauntquarters is dead ahead,
fellas.

[Snookums] I'm bored!

Want a new toy.

And what would
my little Snookums like?

Yuck!

Hm, I want, uh, I want, um...

I want that.

That bat over there.
I want it. I want it.

No!

Oh, you be quiet, Itchy.

[clang]

[Prime Ordeal]
Of course, you may
have the bat, Snookums.

Mwah, mwah, mwah.

[Prime Evil]
Now, just a minute.

I need that bat
for my world conquest.

Oh, don't be silly, Itchy.

Snookums is more important
than your world conquest.

-But, but...
-[Prime Ordeal] Oh, here,
my precious.

A whittle batty bat
for Snookums.

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

Could this whittle
batty bat say something?

Yes. What is it?

Just this.

[screaming]

[screaming]

You little loudmouth!

Thank you. Bye-bye now.

Hey, my bat!

Stop that bat. Catch him.
He's vital to my world
conquest.

[instrumental music]

That's Snookums' pet.

[tires screeching]

[growls]

[thud]

He he he.

Now, come on.
We've gotta rescue Belfry.

[rumbling]

Ha-ha! Got you, ol' bean.

[Jake] Correction.
Got you, old bean.

Egad!

He's done me in.

Oh, boy!
Am I glad to see you guys.

Well, I'm not. I'll teach you
to meddle with my plans.

[snarls]

I'll handle this, Jake.

[splosh]

[grunting]

I'm stuck.

[laughing]

Itchy sticky! Ha ha ha.

You think it's so funny?
Have some goo too. Ha ha ha.

[splat]

[sobbing] Mommy, mommy.

While they're stuck up,
let's split. Come on, Belfry.

Snookums...

[sobbing]

They're taking my bat.

Oh, no, they aren't.
I'll show them.

You two stay there
till I get back.

Stay here, she says.
As if we have any choice.

[grunting]

[instrumental music]

[zap]

Yow, here she comes.
Do something, Tracy.

Okey-dokey, Jake.

[grunting]

Nice work, Tracy.

[bam]

Ooh!

You miserable monsters.
If I ever get
my hands on you...

Mission accomplished, G.B.
Let's get outta here.

Y-y-you don't have
to tell me twice.

[swoosh]

Thanks, guys. I sure am glad
to be outta there. Ho-ho.

Why did Prime Evil capture youin the first place, Belfry?

I'll show you, Jake.

Tracy, head over
to that big amplifier thing.

[Tracy] Okey-dokey, Belfry.

[splash]

[grunting]

Free at last.

[sobbing]

Those men took my bat.

Your bat? That was my bat.

[clang]

Shame on you, Itchy.
Selfish, selfish.

Argh! What a terrible day.

What else could
possibly go wrong?

[Belfry] Attention, Prime Evil.

Argh! I had to ask.

[Belfry] Before I leave,
I wanted to say one more thing.

And that is...

[screaming]

[rumbling]

[Prime Evil] No-o-o!

Oh, drat! Drat! Double drat!

Nice work, Belfry.
But I think you blew a fuse.

Now let's get outta here.

[Eddie] Wa-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[boom]

Rebuilding Hauntquarters
will keep Prime Evil

busy for a while.

Yes. I'd say this mission
was a crashing success.

[all laughing]

My Hauntquarters, ruined.

My spectral amplifier,
destroyed.

This has been
the worst day of my life.

Ooh!

Since you have no place
for us to stay, Itchy

Snookums and I are leaving.

Goodbye.

See ya, Itchy.

[blows]

Argh! What's this?

Itching powder. Bye. He he he.

[grunting]

[snarls]

Hi, skelivision viewers.

Boy, my ears still hurtfrom those loud Belfry blasts.

Nobody likes to be the victim
of somebody else's loud sounds.

I couldn't agree more.

So please be considerate about

how loud you play
your TV and radio.

Uh, right, Jake. So true.

Now, if there's one thing
I hate, it's loud...

Hey, Jake. Jake, cut it out.

Oh, come on. Turn me back up.
Hey, Jake, can you hear me?

[theme music]

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

-♪ Let's go
-♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters

-♪ Let's go
-♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go, Ghostbusters ♪