The Original Ghostbusters (1986–1987): Season 1, Episode 3 - No Pharoah at All - full transcript

[theme music]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters ♪

[grunting]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

[all]
Let's go, Ghostbusters.

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪



♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Ooh

[howling]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

[chattering]

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪

♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go
Ghostbusters let's go ♪♪

[laughs]

[ominous music]

[Jack narrating]
In the last episode
we travelled back in time

to medieval England.

Sir Trance-A-Lot has
a piece of the stone tablet



which will lead us
to our fathers.

We've tracked him
to his haunted castle.

[thunder rumbling]

[birds cawing]

[Jake]
Come on, we're going in.

[grunting]

No, okie-dokie.

[chomping]

You are right,
those are ghosts in there.

But we've gotta
find our fathers.

But, J-Jake you heard
King Arthur.

Not even his bravest knights
ever retuned from this castle.

R-R-Right, the king said brave.

We've got nothing
to w-w-worry about.

[Eddie]
This Ghost Buggy sure is flip.

[Ghost Buggy]
Flip? Flip!
I'll show you flip.

[all screaming]

[screaming]

[thud]

[swoosh]

[Jake]
Oh, no.

[Futura]
Hang on.

[swoosh]

[screech]

[gulp]

[howling]

[screech]

[grunting]

[crash]

Oh, my achin'
shock abs-s-sorbers.

[all grunting]

Oh!

[instrumental music]

Oh, looking for this?
[laughs]

Ah, maybe Sparky
will make you feel better.

Sparky?

My little pet.
And he's no ghost.

[zap]

[creaking]

Uh-oh.

[roars]

I'll let you and Sparky
get acquainted

while I take my evening ride.

So long ghost babies.

And have a bad night.
[laughs]

[roars]

The dragon.

[thud]

[roars]

Use the Dematerializer.

It only works on ghosts.

Uh, don't worry, King Arthur's
magic sword will handle this.

[roars]

[roars]

Strength and courage.
Be my fate.

As sure as Arthur's
sword is straight.

[crackling]

[gasping] Oh, no!
King Arthur's gonna
punish me when he sees this.

I think Sparky is gonna
save up the trouble.

I know.

[pulsating]

[splashing]

It's pushin' her back.

[screeching]

Oh, nice work, Jake.

I thought
we were goners.

I'd fight a dragon
for you anytime.

Hmm!

[Fuddy]
And he looks very angry.

-Can't we dematerializer him?
-We don't dare.

We might dematerialize the pieceof the tablet at the same time.

There's only one way.

Tracy, give me your gum.

-Do I have to?
-Yes, you have to.

Eddie, get
the Dematerializer ready.

As soon as my lance touches
the stone, let him have it.

[dramatic music]

[Jake]
Let's go G.B.
Full speed ahead.

[Ghost Buggy]
You want speed,
get a rocket.

[music continues]

[clanking]

[zapping]

[zap]

[Fuddy]
You did it!
You did it!

You dematerialized
Sir Trance-A-Lot.

He'll be back.
What's more important is this.

"The ones who find fathers
and save the future."

[Fuddy]
Oh! Who finds fathers
and saves the future?

Maybe the answers on
the next piece of the stone.

Tracy's tablet tracer will
figure out where it is.

But first, we better get Fuddy
back to King Arthur.

Uh, h-h-he'll probably have
Merlin turn me into a frog

when he sees... this.

I'll bet Tracy can fix it.

Careful, Tracy. If you break itwe'll be in big trouble.

[grunting]

H-H-He fixed it.

Oh, I can just put it back

and King Arthur
will never know I borrowed it.

Uh, Fuddy, there's something
I'd like you to do for me.

Oh, sure, Jake. Anything.

[instrumental music]

[Fuddy] A-A-And so you see,
King Arthur,

I-I-I wanted you to know
the truth about what happened.

I-I'm really sorry.

I-I-I never should have borrowedyour sword without asking.

I ought a punish you for this

but you showed great courage
in defeatin' Sir Trance-A-Lot.

And even greater courage
in coming to me

and telling the truth
about the sword.

How long has Fuddy been
studying to be a sorcerer?

A 150 years,
Your Majesty. [chuckles]

Well, I think it's high time

he became a full fledged
court wizard.

[gasps]
Uh, oh... [chuckles]

Who me? A full court wizard?

Ah, as you wish,
Your Majesty.

-[Jake] Way to go.
-[Futura] Congratulations.

And as for you, young men.

I'd like you all to become
knights of the round table.

Futura, you will be
the first woman knight.

Oh, I'm very honored,
Your Majesty.

But we're on an important
mission to save the future

of the entire planet.

And rescue our fathers.

Yes, that's right.

In that case,
I insist you take this.

[tinkling]

I don't know how to thank you.

Oh, well, uh. And I don't know
how to thank you, Jake.

But maybe this'll help.

Now that I'm
a full wizard

I can grant you any power
of your choosing.

But the moon
must be full

and it will only last
for a short while.

-Really?
-Oh, yes.

All you have to do
is call on me

no matter when
or where you are.

Wow, that's terrific. Ha.

-And just where are we goin'?
-Ancient Egypt.

That's where Tracy's tracer
says we'll find

the next piece
of the stone tablet.

[thunder rumbling]

[dramatic music]

[Prime Evil hisses]
This thing never works right.

[music continues]

[Eddie]
Ancient Egypt, here we come.

[Jake]
I hope the next piece
of the tablet helps us

find our fathers.

Ancient Egypt.

Sound familiar, Airhead?

[muttering]
Ancient Egypt.

Uh, ring bell somewhere.

That's where you come from,
bandage brain.

You and Apparitia will stop

those little ghost... busting
twerps. And if you fail...

Uh, no, no, please,
Your Majesty.

Don't do this to me.

-Brat-A-Rat.
-No.

[Scared Stiff]
'Please. 'I-I, I'll rust.'

[laughing]
That's the idea.

[laughing]

[sloshing]

[groaning]

[hissing]
Now, unless you want
something worse

to happen to you

stop the ghost babies.

Once and for all.

[thunder rumbling]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

[swoosh]

Wow! Look at the Sphinx
and the pyramid.

-They look almost brand new.
-Well, don't forget.

The Ghost Buggy has now taken usalmost 3,000 years back in time.

Yeah, G.B.'s sure
gonna come in handy

when I have
an overdue library book.

That's what you think.

I'm a breezy buggy.

-[beeping]
-[Tracy grunting]

Hey, Tracy's tablet tracer
is pickin' up another piece

of the stone tablet.

[beeping]

It's somewhere
inside the pyramid.

C'mon, pals. Let's land.

[swoosh]

[Eddie]'Phew! The pyramid sure is big.'

[Futura]
Yes, it took almost
30 years to construct.

Scientists still don't
know exactly why or how
the Egyptians built it.

[Eddie] Maybe they were just
trying to make a point.

-Ohh...
-[laughs]

[instrumental music]

[Jake] Now, we've gotta figure
out a way to get inside.

The door's pretty heavy.

Think you can open it, Tracy?

[grunting]

[door creaking]

[music continues]

I don't like the looks
of this place.

[music continues]

[shrieking]

Oh-oh, my nose is twitching.

You know what that means.

[all]
Ghosts.

[female laughing]

Uh, uh, who, who's that.

[laughing continues]

Leave the pyramids.

That voice. It's coming from
inside the crystal ball.

[dramatic music]

Oh, do what I order

for inside my crystal ball
I have, spirits, oh, goblins

and gremlins ready
to unleash on you.

Uh, I'd hate
to come face to face

with any of those creepies.

Now, you're bein' reasonable.

When I report this
to Prime Evil, he'll--

[Jake]
Look here!

Prime Evil is not going to stop
us from rescuing our fathers

and neither are you.

Yeah, so bug off.

Oh. How dare you
speak to me like that?

You'll regret you
didn't head my warning.

I'll unleash my power
when you least expect it.

[Apparitia laughing]

[dramatic music]

[Futura] Maybe this staircase
will lead us to the tablet.

Uh, it's so dark and spooky.

I know it's scary,

but we've got to get
used to goblins and gremlins

if we're gonna
save our dads.

You're right, partner.
I'm not gonna be scared.

In fact, I'm gonna lead the way.

I only have one request.

-What's that?
-Talk me out of it.

[Futura]
Oh, Eddie.

[dramatic music]

[zap]

Airhead.

Where are you?

[organ music]

-Whoa!
-[thud]

[music continues]

Me have nice trip.

[chuckling]

Uh, Airhead make joke.

Oh, get on your feet,
you bag of rags.

We're gonna put an endto those so called Ghostbusters.

[music continues]

[crash]

Yuck. Those mummy cases
give me the jitters.

The piece of the tablet
could be any place.

[creaking]

Tracy, stop bothering me.

Can't you see I'm...

Yeow!

Double yeow!

Airhead get Ghostbuster.

-[music continues]
-[screech]

Help, guys,
a mummy's chasin' me.

Quick, Tracy, use
the Dematerializer on him.

[clanking]

[Tracy]
Uh-oh.

It's broken.

[all screaming]

[Futura]
Run.

[music continues]

[Jake]
Oh, no. We're cornered.

Hm, I got it.

[screech]

[thud]

[grunting]

Attaboy, Tracy,
you're terrific.

[all]
Oh, no.

[music continues]

[thud]

[mumbling]

[Apparitia]
Oh, you miserable mummy.

You let them get away.

Oh, Airhead try again.
[laughing]

[Apparitia]
You've caused enough trouble.

This calls for drastic action.

I'll stop the ghost rats
once and for all.

With an army of mummies.

Oh, crystal
of the mist and shadow

awaken mummies
to fight my battle.

Go. Capture the Ghostbusters.

[all grunting]

[Airhead]
Airhead your leader.

Fo-follow me.

[whirring]

I don't know about this,
Tracy, it could be dangerous.

[grunting]

He must be pretty fond
of our fathers.

He says he wants
to help find them.

Good. Then if you have him
maybe I can go home?

[Futura]
Ooh, he looks
just like a mummy.

[roaring]

Yikes! He looks scary.

That's the idea, Eddie.

He just might scare
Airhead away.

[mummies grunting]

Here they come.

Go get 'em, Tracy.

[door creaking]

[upbeat music]

Uh-oh.
Airhead know way.

[roaring]

Keep your fingers crossed.

I'll even keep
my bandages crossed.

Your bandages?

Oh, no.

[roaring]

[Jake]'Eddie, quick. Cut the bandage.'

[screaming]

[roaring]

[screaming]

[thud]

It's too dark to see anything.

Eddie. Eddie.

Are you alright?

Yeah. But where am I?

Just sit tight.

[Airhead]
Yeah. Him not mummy ghost.

Him ghost bustin' monkey.

[laughing]

Tracy's in trouble.

It's stuck.

[Airhead] Uh, me bring monkey
to Apparitia.

Can you teleport us
to the hallway?

[zapping]

C'mon, let's follow.

[dramatic music]

Ooh-whoa!

This is a pretty fancy place.

Some kind of a secret room.

Hey, there's a neat disguise.

I could walk right past
Apparitia and her mummies

in this outfit.

Hey, Jake, guess what I found.

Jake.

I wonder where they went.

[Airhead laughing]

[Airhead]
Me make monkey
out of Ghostbuster.

[Airhead laughing]

Airhead make joke.

[laughing]

Stop it, bandage brain.

[grunting]

[Apparitia laughing]
Even your strength ain't enough
to break my crystal cuffs.

There he is.

[Apparitia]
So, you wanna be a mummy,
do ya?

Uh-uh.

Well, mummies are old.

Before you can be a real mummy,
you have to be old.

Say, about 3000 years old.

This secret Egyptian
mist will age ya.

And then mummify ya.

I'm gonna look for those
other Ghostbusters.

-You wait here.
-But me?

But I'm a mummy.

You already are a mummy, dummy.

By the time I return

you'll be
a 3000-year-old mummy.

[groaning]

[Jake]
We'll find out what happens

to Tracy in the next episode
of "Ghostbusters."

Stay tuned
for some exciting scenes.

And now, here are some scenes
from the next episode

of "Ghostbusters."

[upbeat music]

[thump]

[zap]

[zapping]

[roaring]

[screeching]

[screeching]

[music continues]

[theme music]

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters

-♪ Let's go
-♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters

-♪ Let's go
-♪ Let's go

♪ Let's go Ghostbusters ♪