The Only Way Is Essex (2010–…): Season 26, Episode 12 - Episode #26.12 - full transcript
Yes, Dan, yes, Dan!
When's your anniversary?
It's coming up really soon.
What you after for it, Frank?
I'm joking!
Is that even the right hand?
We actually think
you're gonna be like "maidzillas".
Let the best maid of honour win.
Yeah, me.
Er, me.
No, me.
I seen Chloe Brockett the other day.
It just made me realise, like,
I don't hate her
for what she did to me.
You've gotta take Ella's feelings
into consideration.
I don't really trust
your intentions.
What do you want then?
What do you want?
Just build a bridge and get over it.
Why are you shouting at me?
I'm gonna be away for a little
while, but I'm gonna be back
and I want us to start afresh,
start again.
Since Thailand, a lot of things
have happened where I've thought,
"Why is Pete starting on me for?"
I don't think he likes me, mate.
To be fair, I don't think you're
the only one who's noticed it.
Obviously, looking back now, I mean,
it sort of all ties in
to the stuff that happened
between me and Chloe.
# The only way is up
# Baby
# For you and me now
# Ooh, ooh, oh! #
Right, harder!
Just imagine, it's 6AM,
I'm at an after-party
I've not replied to you
for three hours! Ow!
I've never been to a vineyard.
Neither have I, Saff,
how lovely is it?
I'd love to own one of these,
I'd be pissed every day.
This is your thank you dinner for
being the best daughter in the world
and for helping me out
with Clemmie.
I'd do anything for her and you.
Wahey!
I don't normally have to pop
my own bottles.
My arm's really tiring of this!
Cheers, George.
Cheers.
Nicole, do you want a sausage roll?
Ow! Shit, son!
Oh, Bob.
Hello, girls!
That's a very butch backpack.
Well, you know me.
We'll take it from the start.
A one, two, three, good.
And a one, two, three,
and the turn, there it is.
What a twat!
How wonderful
to be here today, Saff,
it's so lovely, isn't it,
to actually have a glass of prosecco
and to be with friends and family?
What you talking like that for?
You sound like you've shit yourself.
How disgusting, Harry!
Basically, I've said I wanna go
elocution lessons for Polly
because, obviously,
Polly's started school
and when I drop Polly off,
the mums are really well-spoken
and not because I wanna be posh,
I just want to speak nicer.
I'm also doing it
for the wedding,
because how lovely to speak
lovely...
In the speech.
..in the speech.
So you're telling me
you're doing this
to drop off Polly at school
and be the better maid of honour
at my wedding.
Yes.
Came here last week and, obviously,
cos I'm the best maid of honour
ever,
I thought about you, Harry,
straightaway, I thought,
"Harry needs to go wine tasting
for his wedding..."
Dem, I know his favourite wine.
I haven't got to come to a vineyard
to tell you what his favourite wine
is. I know he loves a sauvignon,
I know he loves it from New Zealand
so... better luck next time, hun.
Oh, my God, she's such a bitch
today!
Demi, I've gotta ask you one
question and one question only,
where was Harry born?
Harold Wood.
He was born at Barking.
You're actually wrong.
Oh!
Oh.
Where was you born?
At Rush, er, Rush Green.
How do you feel? Oh, my God,
you've had an absolute mare.
I think we should all go away,
Demi bake a cake...
Amazing.
..Amy bake a cake.
Yep.
So, me and you,
having a bake-off, Ame!
I actually think
this is such a good idea
cos it's gonna prove...
who the best maid of honour is.
The bake is gonna be the make.
I like that.
May the best woman win.
Cheers.
Woo-hoo!
# Just figure it out
# Figure it out
Just figure it out
# Just figure it out... #
That was actually pretty average,
but what has this got to do
with your 30 By 30?
I wanna learn to dance,
and I thought,
well, go in at the deep end,
d'you know what I mean?
Taps the hard... apparently,
the hardest dance to learn.
Seriously, you're gonna learn tap?
It's not just about learning
to dance tap, mate,
it's the bigger picture,
it's everything. To impress girls.
The only reason
you're learning to dance
is to impress someone,
and who is that person?
Yeah, it's to impress you,
to get into your music video.
Don't start me about me and him
and the music video.
I'm actually quite pissed off
with you. Why? Ooh!
Because, like, I don't think
you're taking this seriously, bruv,
the whole music thing.
You're saying you wanna do
directing and music,
one thing, one thing,
and then, somehow,
it's come back
to your 30 By 30.
Take it seriously. You're out
every weekend getting pissed.
I don't see no storyboards.
Now we're here doing tap dancing.
I'm getting in the mind-set
of a rapper. What's he do?
Go out every weekend, gets lagging,
gets pissed. Tap dances!
I'm living the life of a rap star.
Rapper and a tapper.
And the only way to go is...
Oi, on a serious note...
..are you gonna do that storyboard?
Can't hear. What?
Are you gonna do that storyboard?
See ya tomorrow.
Bye!
# But it's not the kind of weather
To be dancing in your sweater... #
Ooh, what you sketching?
Well, basically,
getting some ideas out there,
what my characters are gonna look
like in the book I'm writing.
What sort of characters
have you got already?
Well, even though the book's
about trolling... Yeah.
..the idea behind it is actually
that trolls...
are people that you would
come into contact with on the daily
and you don't necessarily know
they're a troll.
They're a troll, yeah. Oh, look,
there's Frankie and Harry. Frankie!
Harry! Come here, come and join us.
How are you guys?
Good.
Do you mind if I put a blanket down?
Of course.
Such lovely weather.
Yeah, that's what we was thinking.
I'm glad you lot are here.
You guys are so cute together.
Aw, thank you.
It's coming up to our
one-year anniversary.
A year? Oh, my God,
that's gone fast! Flown by.
It's weird cos it's gone,
like, really quick,
but I feel like I've known him all
my life, like, it's so strange. Aw!
Have you got to that stage
where you've kind of...
you've got, like, the niggles yet?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Why, what annoys you about me?
Her communication skills
are really bad. Yeah.
I'm the type, I'll be like,
"I love you so much",
like, "You're so sexy" and that
but, like,
it don't happen often,
d'you know what I mean?
I'm not good with my emotions and
Harry's a really emotional person,
he's like the woman
of the relationship and I'm the man.
Frankie, he must annoy you as well.
Yeah, he takes longer than me
to get ready.
He's got this little black
wash bag,
he disappears for two hours
and then he comes out shining!
I think we should have a little
toast to the anniversary.
Sounds good.
Lovely, let's go.
Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Are you sad that I'm moving out?
I think you're gonna be shocking
when you move out. Why?
Because you don't cook.
I can cook a bit of toast.
But, d'you know what, I'm glad
that you're doing it, it's good.
Me and Ella,
we're friends again now.
I know. We had a bit
of that disagreement, obviously,
about the Chloe situation.
Yeah.
Obviously, I love Ella,
but Chloe...
Chloe was very close,
she was part of our family.
Yeah, I know, it's just crazy.
I know, but she has got a heart
and she is kind. I just...
You know, it's not a situation
that... that you wanna be in.
Cos you don't want to be arguing
and falling out with people,
that's not you.
Hello!
Hi. How are you?
Hi, my lovelies.
You look nice.
This is Tom.
Oh, hello, how are you?
How are you?
And that's Jeanette.
Nice to meet you.
All right, girls?
Yeah, good. Bit late, ain't you?
Er, when am I not ever late?
I know. I should have known!
Jeanette, I've not seen you
in so long. I've missed youse.
How have youse been, though?
Been all right?
Yeah, I've been good. I mean,
I'm happy that I'm sitting here,
Thought she might... Chloe Brockett
might have wormed her way through.
Oh, no.
We bumped into them the other night.
Who?
Chloe and Joey.
What happened?
They was muggy and patronising
towards her.
Like they were trying to wind me up.
I know what Chloe and Joey are like
when they're together.
Yeah. Like they can be really,
really nasty.
Even looking at Joey
when we were having this argument
or whatever you want to call it,
he knows that she is wrong.
He couldn't even look at me
in the face.
Probably felt like he had to,
because he was with Chloe.
He's just being a sheep.
It's good to see youse two
actually together again.
Friendship's a big thing.
Someone you can trust. Yeah, course.
You don't want to just
throw that away, trust me.
Nothing would ever come between us.
No. You're my number one.
Cheers!
Cheers.
Yeah, cheers. Cheers.
I can have a little, erm, drink,
cos Maddy is away with her dad.
This looks lovely, don't it?
So cute!
Just always being the hostess
with the mostest round here,
what can I say?
Listen, enough of this.
No, George, not this again.
I've brought the samples with me.
You should leave the house stuff...
You don't wanna talk
house stuff every day?
I 100% don't.
I thought you loved it.
Hi, guys.
Oh, my God!
How are we all?
Pete!
You definitely ain't that tall,
what you standing on?
Oh, my God, I'm well shocked.
Ah! Hello!
What's happening? This is cute.
How are we? Ooh, God, this is...
This is bad for my knees.
Look how cute that is, how happy
she is. I missed you, Pete.
Let's get rid of these
fucking things, eh?
Did you miss Chloe?
Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did miss her.
How much?
There, about that, about.
Is that cos your fingers are so
small you can't stretch 'em out?
That's quite a lot.
That's a yard, that's a mile.
You've chirped up now Pete's
come back, anyway.
Yeah, you ain't half chirped up.
Yeah, well... We're on a good run
at the moment, aren't we?
It's cos you ain't seen him
for a week.
Exactly, it's cos
I've not been here! Yeah.
I need to lock him up in there
so he can't piss me off.
No, I'm just happy to see you
cos, like,
we've just kind of got
into a nice little spot
and then he's like,
"I've gotta go away for work."
I panicked bit cos I thought,
is he gonna be the same
or is he gonna have changed again?
You know what I'm like.
Overthinking.
I've got a surprise for you tonight.
Aw.
Get dressed up, we're going out.
Ooh! Dressed up.
Before I went, I told you
I was gonna do something
to try and make it up to you.
OK.
Well, just one night out's
not gonna make it all up. No.
So don't put too much pressure
on tonight, yeah?
The look on your face, don't look
like he needs to make up that much.
He does. Inside, still, like...
All right, cool.
# Something 'bout you
# It's taking me up and I know
# Something 'bout you... #
You're probably the most unfit
person ever.
You was like,
"Oh, my legs are aching."
I put a good shift in
on that assault course. All right.
How was your night, anyway?
Well, whilst you was out,
Yaz FaceTimed me.
She basically was like,
you know, the whole time
when me and Nicole had had a row,
it was just a really shit situation
for her
and she was put in, like,
near enough an impossible position,
but wanted to like,
make sure I was OK
and just saying, you know, she
doesn't wanna lose me as a friend
and we've worked so hard to build
our friendship back where it was,
considering we did fall out,
which was really nice
cos it does play on my mind.
I said to Lockie,
regardless of how good a friend
Nicole is to her,
I don't know nothing about that,
what I do know is
you're a good friend to her,
so you shouldn't let that come
between you at all. Yeah.
And hopefully it hasn't, like,
by what you're saying.
I still feel very... tight.
Oh! From the old assault course
I done.
Didn't overly enjoy the exercise,
but, obviously, went to the pub
after, had a little chat with Diags
about the whole Pete situation.
I think now the whole Pete and Chloe
stuff has come to light,
it sort of made sense to me.
I've always said, like,
Pete is not your friend,
I've been saying this to you
for so long,
you didn't wanna believe it
because you don't like
to have drama with people,
but he is being really bitchy,
everyone has said it,
everyone's seen it.
It all makes sense now
because the fact that then
she had a thing with you,
obviously got under his skin a lot.
I don't actually feel like
he's ever gonna admit,
"Dan, d'you know what,
"I've got a problem with you
because the girl I actually like,
"you've had a thing with."
He's never... Do you really
think he'll ever admit that?
Probably not, no.
# The only way is up! #
# Let's not overthink it
# Let's just say it like it is
# You know we have a good thing
# Not just friends
With benefits... #
Well, I... What's the average size
of a penis?
I don't know, girls.
Is it like four inches
or something? I dunno!
Is that what Harry tells you?
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God!
Hi, girls!
What the fuck has happened?
Today, I've been baking.
Look, I've got it all over me.
And it exploded!
It's like an explosion.
OK, so your first one
is the three of pentacles.
You are going to be successful.
Wherever you point your magic wand,
things will happen.
Magic.
Glad I'm not saying that to a bloke.
OK...
Aw!
This is so cute.
I'm cute.
Look, we've brought our mums out
for a lovely meal.
A nice surprise.
What you trying to insinuate,
we don't take you out?
Well, yeah! You don't, actually.
That's not true.
When did you last take me out?
It was... 2019.
Are youse both doing yours
like that?
Whoa.
How are youse doing yours?
She ain't seen a dick
for ages, has she?
She ain't got a clue.
Shush, girls, girls.
How many dicks are we actually
putting on this cake?
Girls, I dunno, like,
Amy's trying to make herself
look like the better maid of honour,
so I'm gonna beat her with this,
like, willy cake.
Slightly off topic,
but do youse think I'm bad
at expressing my feelings?
Yeah, 100%, you're the worst.
Why you asking that for, Frank?
Harry was basically saying,
the thing that annoys him
the most about me is that
I'm not in touch with my emotions.
D'you know what it is
with you, Frank?
Every single relationship you've had
has ended really, really badly
cos they've ended up
hurting you. Yeah.
So I think that's why
you're not overly emotional
because you've grown
such a thick skin now.
I just need to show him that I
actually do care as much as he does.
# I know, I know, I know you
# Oh, oh... #
You're nearly a year strong.
Who would have thought it?
Not a lot of people.
Everyone, right,
was coming up to me,
"Youse two won't last."
Even Mallett bet me £100.
I know!
Obviously, there's ups and downs
in relationships,
we've had plenty of them.
What would you say
your bad points are?
Her communication skills.
Like if I rang her up now
and went, "Why do you love me?"
She'll go, "Er...".
D'you know what I mean?
She'd go, "I don't know,
I'd rather text it to you." Right.
That definitely needs to improve.
I've got things I need
to work on as well, I know that.
I do get a bit jealous
every now and then, ain't gonna lie.
Mm.
But, you know, year down the line,
gonna pull out all the stops for it.
Why, where you going?
I'm gonna take her pottery.
I think you gotta do
more than pottery
for a one-year anniversary.
Right, what's happening?
What's happening?
What's happening? Yes, yes.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Fucking hell, bet you're having
intelligent chat here, ain't you?
What you talking about? Politics?
We've been talking about
his one-year anniversary coming up.
You've made it to one year?
Yeah, mate.
Beat the six months!
Talking of that,
got your scratch here.
Here's that hundred quid I got you.
So what was the bet?
He was like, "I'll bet you £100
"you ain't got six months in you."
Basically, right...
That's a liberty, that.
No, listen.
Do you know how many five pences
are in £100, Har'?
20,000.
Oh, no, this geezer!
Can do something nice with that,
for your anniversary.
Yeah, I've got pottery planned.
Pottery? Yeah.
What?! But he reckons I need
to do something better.
Right, I've got you,
let's do this, Gat.
What about, like, trying
to find some gold or something?
Like a treasure hunt.
Yeah.
And you're gonna lead her
to the thingy by doing poems
so she's gonna have to...
You say something,
she'll go over there, get it,
then it leads to the next gaff.
This is the first one, wait.
"Your garms are looking wavy,
"left you a clue on the pavey."
You've got flour in your eyelash.
I've got flour everywhere.
Honestly, it's like, in my boobs
as well.
Well, at least you won't sweat!
Girls, I've been baking
all day today,
and I just need to get
the perfect cake for the wedding.
Me and Harry are best friends.
I do feel a bit put out with Demi
because she wants
to be maid of honour
and, obviously, I want
to be maid of honour.
Well, can't there be two,
like, maids of honour?
Listen, you can have two
maid of honours,
but I think I should be head
maid of honour. Yeah.
And, like, she gets the shitty jobs,
d'you know what I mean?
So thanks for coming round,
prosecks in the garden.
Thanks for having us.
Thanks for inviting us round.
Honestly, it's just a really
peaceful garden.
Everyone says it, don't they?
No, it is, like even, honestly,
girls, Amy got me and Kelsey round
and it ended in us being civil.
Honestly. Wow.
That's a miracle garden here.
Anyway, girls, I've got a massive
performance tomorrow.
Why, what do you mean?
So Diags is doing his 30 before 30.
Yeah.
And one of his strange ones was
that he wants to learn how to dance.
That's amazing!
We've gone tap dancing.
Oh, God, you did?
How did it... How did it go?
So they were so good
that I've arranged for them to
perform it tomorrow at her market.
Oh, my God. I'd love to get Polly
into tap dancing.
I think I'd want my kids to do,
tap dancing and stuff like that,
it's so cute.
Yeah.
I, like, basically,
really worry about having kids.
Like, I'm not young anymore,
and there's actually
fertility problems in my family,
so my nan took, like, five years
to get pregnant,
my mum took three years.
It's, like, a real worry for me.
Yeah, of course.
I think like, girls have got
this such internal clock
of, like, ticking.
See, I've got to be completely
honest with you,
so it took me two years
to fall pregnant with Polly.
I had my ovaries checked,
so what you might have to do
is have your ovaries checked.
Listen, they're gonna be fine,
but sometimes they say when you want
something so much, it don't happen.
And the minute that I relaxed...
It happened. ..I fell.
I definitely think having a test
is a good idea for you
cos I know how much you stress
and you talk about it all the time.
I'm like the expert in trying
to fall pregnant,
so if you want any advice,
come to me. I'm a professional.
OK, so when I'm actually trying,
you can move in with me and George
and you can tell us to go upstairs
when we need to. Yeah.
Go on, Cle-bag.
I probably wanna ask the obvious.
Relationships.
Am I gonna meet someone soon?
Let's have a little look.
It says be careful
not to self-restrict,
not to, erm, hold yourself back.
So have a look
at what has stopped you
from getting what you want.
I restrict myself all the time,
don't I? Yeah, you do.
So that's... That's hit the nail
on the head for me.
Bob, I think you're up.
Well... your first card
is the tower.
You're trying to achieve something
and it might not be going
quite to plan.
What can you see for me
in terms of relationships?
Can you see me getting married,
will I have children?
Let's have a look.
It is a legal card,
so there may be
some kind of legal ceremony,
so a marriage is a legal ceremony.
Yeah. So we would look at that
favourably.
You don't sound too sure, girl!
It may be, erm,
an unconventional ceremony.
You might write down your pre-nup
agreements, all of those things.
Pre-nup?
Pre-nup.
That's what that would all be about.
# Is that what love looks like? #
James, stop playing with that food.
I ain't playing with it.
You are, you're playing with it.
Listen, listen to your mum,
do as you're told.
You're getting that all over
your face now as well, look. Look.
Don't do that at the table with me!
Deb, have you, erm,
met James' girlfriend yet?
Shut up.
No, I haven't.
You haven't?
No. So when am I...
There's a pandemic!
You can't meet people all the time
these days. What would Boris say?
I mean, you're that serious
with her,
you spend all that time together
and you haven't even introduced her
to your mum yet.
Listen, it's a big step.
I'm not just willy-nilly,
like you with birds.
Just bringing,
just bringing a carousel...
Why are you laughing?
Yeah, you asked for that Dan,
you did ask for that one.
"Come meet Wendy." "When did you
meet her?" "Oh, last night."
I don't... No!
I don't do that do I?
I'm not that bad.
Yep. You're a new man, apparently.
And I'm a new man, yeah.
That's nice to hear, finally.
And times have changed, yeah.
Good!
Got there in the end. Well done!
Deb, I'm 30 now, like,
I had to grow up at some point,
didn't I?
Even I'm doing stuff
I've never done before.
Making the most
of the last of my twenties.
And I'm quite proud of you,
actually.
Thank you.
I'm ahead of a lot of people.
Like... What's everyone else doing?
Regardless of what they're doing,
how is it between you lot?
All the boys?
We're all cool, to be honest.
Are we?
That's not what you said
the other day.
Oh, no, well, basically,
it's all come out,
this whole Pete and Chloe stuff,
and apparently they've got
a really deep...
Yeah, for the last two years,
Well, they said to everyone
they was just friends,
but it was a lot more than that.
Yeah.
So he was jealous
of your little thing with Chloe.
Well, I just don't think...
If he had deep feelings for her,
it makes sense why he would feel
a bit bitter towards me,
d'you know what I mean?
Why he was so over the top.
I just think, yeah. At least if you
try and say, "Look, mate, I'm sorry,
"and I didn't realise
there was anything there,
"I thought it was
just a friendship."
I think if it was an issue
in Pete's eyes back then,
then, obviously,
it's good that we address it
and speak about it, I suppose.
Yeah, and is it still?
Is it still there?
Yeah. Yeah, is it still now? Yeah.
# I'm trapped outside
Inside my mind... #
Ah, Pete, you've done really well.
I'm so glad you picked this.
Well, listen, over the years,
probably our best nights have come
from going places with live music.
We both love it. So I thought
this would cheer you up, it's
a bit different. I'm cheered up.
Just not with you.
All right, OK, fine.
Excuse me!
Fabulous musician in the corner!
What are you doing?
Sorry, everyone, sorry, shush.
Genuinely, I apologise, could you
play some sad music for me?
Oh, my God, what are you doing?
Shush.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna go.
No, sadder!
Chloe Simms...
Erm, I am sorry I'm a dickhead
and I'm sorry I've not been there,
but I love you, please forgive me.
I'll forgive you if you just shut up
and sit down, please. Thank you.
Stop raising your voice, that is
really embarrassing. I'm sweating.
I love you and I'm sorry.
All right, fine, I forgive you.
You didn't have to shout
the whole jazz bar down.
What's been going on?
What have I missed?
You're getting right dug out and...
Oh, the opinions have started?
Apparently, Dan Edgar has said
that now it makes sense
why you constantly dig him out
more than anybody else.
He's totally pretending that
he didn't know about me and you.
He said to me,
before we went Thailand,
in front of Demi and Diags,
"Fuck Pete off and come with me."
He is a compulsive liar.
When that whole Dan thing happened,
I couldn't tell my real truth,
because no one knew
about me and you.
The way he treated you was a fucking
disgrace, but I've done no better.
It's a completely different
situation. D'you know what I mean?
You didn't publicly humiliate me.
He knew that I was upset
in Thailand,
he knew I was vulnerable,
and he still did what he did.
It's a bit annoying that people
are kind of using the fact
that things have happened
between me and you,
as, "Oh, that's why Pete's
so protective over Chloe."
Before anything happened
between me and you...
I would have... backed you anyway.
I do that because I love you,
full stop.
It makes a lot of sense to people
that have got half a brain,
but we're dealing
with absolute irritants.
You're not on your own this time,
all right?
I ain't gonna let people
start digging you out
without me standing there with you.
So if people want to come for us,
then they can come for us.
Good luck.
# No, no
Nothing's gonna stop you now! #
# The only way is up! #
# If you wanna be loved
Tell me now... #
If you're gonna do a 30 Before 30,
you've gotta do it real and big.
We are gonna be performing
in the foreground here.
Stunning. They're not the manliest
shoe in the world, is it?
What's it feel like?
Really nice.
But it's well hard.
All right, mate,
put your finger in that.
Oh, my God. It's unbelievable.
Cor. Let's have a feel.
Oh, my God.
I feel like
a pushy stage-school mum.
You're so talented,
you just need to do it now.
Whoo! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Oh!
Happy feet.
I'm back!
Fuck.
Honestly, Diags.
Keep tapping!
Come on, we need some money
for charity. Roll up.
Woo-hoo!
First up!
Ah, thank you very much.
I'll tap for you.
Thank you!
Oi! Oi, oi!
Moolah, oi! Big boy moolah!
Scores in, yeah? You've
got the wrong shoes on, though.
Nice, Tommy boy, well done.
Thanks, Tom!
Oh, yeah!
And end.
Yeah, you lot went in!
Oh, yeah!
Man, that was hard.
When you said
that you went to dance school,
I thought you were lying,
but that - jeez.
My legs just feel like
they just wanna go,
and then my body just goes with it.
Yeah!
Honestly...
I just go. I just go.
I think you've done amazing.
Like, do you feel like you've really
done your 30 Before 30?
I'd say... probably
one of my best ones yet.
You can turn 30 a happy man now.
Exactly. Almost, but... this happy.
And I'm gone.
Does anyone want a drink?
What's that?
Oh, I'll clear this up then.
Drinks, everyone?
# Yeah, I dropped that
To make him like you... #
Right, that's enough.
Oh!
Oh, Harry!
You've just got some on my dress.
Get off me now.
You're too sweaty, anyway.
So much for the romance.
Yeah, this was quite romantic,
to be fair,
but how have I managed
to keep it off my dress,
and you've got it on there
straightaway?
I can't believe
we're coming up to a year. I know.
Who would have ever thought
we'd get to a year, me and you?
Crazy, innit? We had loads of
doubters at the start, didn't we?
Everyone. Everyone was giving
their two pennies' worth.
"They won't last."
"He don't like her."
I know.
But we've proved everyone wrong.
I'm glad that, like, everyone
around us can be happy for us,
and everyone sees us as, like,
a "proper couple". I know.
However... this ain't just it.
This is the appetiser.
The main meal's coming later, right?
You're gonna love it.
What are we doing?
Don't worry.
I'll send the helicopter at five...
Helicopter?!
All right, cab.
Erm... and we'll go from there.
All right?
OK.
I need to go now, cos
I've got so much stuff to sort out.
You're just leaving me
with all this mess?
You crack on with that.
I'll see you in a bit, yeah?
Where you going?
I'm just gonna sort a few bits out.
See you later.
What?! Well, bye, then.
# Baby, make your move
Step across the line
# Baby, make your move... #
Thank you, darling.
# Baby, make your move
Step across the line
# Touch me one more time
Come on, dare me
# Baby, make your move. #
These are the sort of days that
I just wanna be naked, don't you?
When in Clacton at a food festival,
I think clothes are appropriate.
How was your tarot reading
last night?
It weren't the best one
I've ever had.
I think, where she started referring
things to my relationship, maybe,
it kind of got cogs
turning in my head,
and maybe was making me think about
things that might have already
been in my mind
a little bit before, you know?
I think the long and short of it
is that, ultimately,
it's kind of made me confront issues
that I think I was kind of...
going through anyway.
The tar-rot reading,
take it with a pinch of salt,
because you don't know
what's gonna happen in the future.
Oh, it's tarot like arrow,
not tar-rot like carrot.
Oh! Oh.
But love you.
Erm, Joe's over there...
and I think I'm gonna
have a little chat with him. Yeah.
We'll leave you to it, girl.
Thanks.
Joe? Come and have a chat with me,
love.
Hey.
You all right?
I'm good, thank you. How are you?
Yeah, I've been good.
I just wanted to have a little chat
with you, to be honest.
cos, I'm not being funny, the other
day, when I did bump into you,
youse actually well upset me,
because you was smirking,
saying nasty comments.
I'm just defending my friend,
just as you would.
D'you know what I mean?
I just don't get, like,
why we have to row over it,
d'you know what I mean?
If you and Chloe
are gonna have an argument,
I'm gonna be with Chloe.
Like, I knew you for years,
and you were never that person
that you was the other day.
OK, well, I am honestly sorry
that it comes across that way.
I... I will work on that,
because that's what...
that's how you grow kind of thing,
so I recognise that.
I know I can be sarcastic sometimes,
and that's probably
one of my toxic traits,
but I want you to realise
that you holding onto this
isn't affecting anyone else
other than you.
Like, Chloe's fine.
Yeah.
You're carrying a burden
on your shoulders,
cos everything she does, you'll see
as a vendetta against you,
and that's really not the case.
I think we should just both
have respect for the era
and what it once was
and just focus on what it is now
and just do our own thing
and, you know, just not interfere
with each other in a negative way,
obviously, but I'm gonna go
get a cheese toastie,
so I'll see you later.
See you later.
Bye.
# It's too late, now I'm saying bye
# Ooh, baby, I'll find my way
# I'm happier without you anyway
# I used to sit here and wonder
# Wonder if... #
LOCKIE: Fucking typical innit?
What's that?
Me and you,
stuck here on our own again.
At a party, no-one wants
to interact with us cos of you.
What d'you mean, cos of me?
How is it because of me?
You don't get on with anyone.
I'm doing you a favour, right?
You're not drinking at the minute...
Do me a favour and start being nice.
I am being nice.
At least I'm sitting with you.
Do you think I want to sit with you
by a fucking swamp? No.
Anyway, have you missed me or what?
Course I've missed you.
Good. So, what have I missed?
Tell me something.
Er, bit of drama for Yaz
with the girls.
I dunno, mate,
it's... it's handbag stuff.
I haven't got involved.
You haven't got to.
If people don't like each other,
they don't, fuck 'em.
Are we talking about anyone
in particular here?
A certain Mr Dan Edgar?
Well...
I mean, I-I like Dan.
Evidently, he just don't like me.
What's that all about then?
He knows I don't necessarily
get on with his missus,
I've told her that,
I've told him that,
but I think, because of
all the stuff about me and Chloe,
I mean there's been a few things
that have been said
that I know about.
I mean, he knew about me and Chloe
before him and Chloe
started doing
whatever they were doing
and, and told her, "Oh, fuck Pete,
fuck him off," and all that crap.
Is that a snake move?
Yeah, little bit.
You need to nip it in the bud
and just go and speak to him.
Mm.
You know, cos it's just silly.
Yeah, mate, it's ridiculous.
And I'm like you now. I'm...
I'm, believe it or not, positive.
Yeah?
I'm positive.
I hope so.
I'm positive.
Cos I only want positive people
around me now.
- Talking of positive...
- Hello!
Here she is.
You look lovely.
What's happening?
Thank you. So do you.
Welcome to the positive circle.
Ooh!
This is the, er,
peace and love circle. Oh, is it?
I've got a question for you.
Who's more important - me or 'er?
Ooh...
Who you gonna pick? Quickfire.
She's done things for me
that you haven't.
Cos you're a couple, right?
Ooh, is that me then?
I tell you what, I don't want
a fucking mate like you.
Yeah, fuck you, yeah. OK, mate.
My old man was right about you.
You just got really pied off there,
mate.
Listen, he's my best mate...
No, don't fucking
go through it again.
I'm bored now. I wanna go.
..and you're...
you're my blurred line.
You'd better change that real quick.
I love you both.
There you go.
I just... Let's share him.
Let's share him. You can
have him from the waist down...
I'll have him from the waist up.
# I know that I'm talking too much
# And I'll get nowhere
trying to do it at once
# So stay young. #
# The only way is up! #
Ooh... That's... Oh, look at that.
Cute!
Oh, that's nice.
Frankie's gonna love this.
Why have you got them?
Fairy lights.
Mate, that is so clever.
Did you bring batteries?
Nah.
# Divin' into you with no regrets
# No more phases
No more time to waste it... #
"You're mad buff.
"Look behind da flowers -
you'll find some stuff."
Aww.
# Startin' out
We're nothin' more than friends
# Empty pages
Fillin' in the spaces... #
"Geez, your garms are looking wavy.
"I left you a clue on da pavey."
Aww, it's over there.
# Now, my heart is beatin'
Out my chest
# No more phases
No more time to waste it... #
"All the haters
said our relationship was fake.
"Follow the petals to the lake."
Oh, my God...
# Cos I've never felt like this
With anybody
# I wasn't sure of us
But now you got me... #
I've not even seen your cake,
it looks shit.
Oh, shut up.
Your cake looks shocking, hun.
Snoring El.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Hi, Harry.
Well, what do we have here?
We've got a snoring El cake and
then a really nice one over here.
I'm really excited
to see your cakes.
Oh, my God. Amy, that is stunning.
It's very boring.
It's just the basic bitch, innit?
I feel like you two are gonna have
full-on beef in a minute.
Listen. Can we just see yours now?
All right. Do the honours.
So here's the masterpiece.
What would my mum say
when she came to my wedding
and see willies on a cake?
I-It tastes good, you know.
I'll be the judge of that.
All right.
I feel like I need to try
this willy, as well.
Dem, it's a bit small.
Ooh, it's... That's absolutely rank.
It makes me sick.
That is the most disgusting...
It's thin... Eurgh.
I poured my whole heart into making
that cake for you. It took me hours.
I feel a bit disappointed by that.
I'm gonna try it,
cos I think it's only fair.
It's not even moving.
It's not even... What is... is this?
Right, the... the cake's fake.
It's not even real!
It's fake, sorry.
Oh, my God.
Are you having me on?
I've won.
Right, it's fake because
I was baking all night last night.
It literally didn't go to plan,
I was really stressing out, so...
I got this today.
I'm in actually shock.
Like, that, it's not even real cake.
So, who... who's won?
I've made my decision.
Wait for me, H!
Wait for me!
Are you joking?
Oh, my God!
That cake looks shit. That looks
te... That's worse than mine.
I'm actually in shock.
Hang on a minute, you
weren't meant to be making a cake.
It's between me and Amy.
No, you're right, Dem.
I'm glad you addressed that.
Sorry, I'm just setting it,
cos of the heat.
At least hers is real.
She's taken it so seriously.
I love it.
Come and taste it, Harry.
Bring the knife over.
I wouldn't taste it.
It's got setting spray on it.
No, it's edible setting spray.
What's it like?
Oh... Saffron...
Is it OK if try that cake?
No.
This is a competition. So, Harry...
Can I try Demi's then?
No, what you chatting?
Can I just try your cake?
Guys, guys, guys...
I'm trying her cake, all right?
Absolutely shocking.
Ame? This would make
a really good...
Oh, sorry!
Oh, my God!
Didn't mean to do that.
Ah!
Oh, my God.
Youse are out of control.
You've ruined your cake.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, my God.
I can't believe that.
I've got the willy.
# Don't need a bad man
Don't need a soldier
# Don't need God's plan
Don't need a hero
# Don't need you trying... #
Harry, what the hell?
Happy anniversary.
Do you like it?
Yeah. You look cute.
You look lovely.
Are you my present?
Yeah.
I've got you some flowers, an' all.
Oh, thank you, Harry.
They're beautiful.
Yeah?
Yeah, thank you so much.
Come on, let's sit down.
Harry, I love
all of these photographs.
They're all from, like,
the best times we've had.
And all the messages on the back.
And I've got something for you,
as well.
So, I've made you a book
of our year.
Oh, my God.
When you asked me
to be your girlfriend,
and this is the first night
that you told me you loved me.
Our first Christmas, the New Year.
Sometimes, I don't tell you enough,
but I do love you to pieces.
Yeah, I love you, too.
And you are beautiful.
Thank you, Harry.
I've actually got one more
little thing for you, as well.
Cor, it's all going off.
I've written you a little letter,
cos, obviously,
I'm not good with communication,
and I can never tell
you what I love about...
I'm getting so upset already!
And I can never tell you
what I love about you.
Sorry.
Don't get upset.
So, "To my Harry,
"I always knew
you was going to be my boyfriend.
"Since the day Demi told me
you said I was fit and a bit of you,
"I just knew it in my heart.
"You exceeded all expectations
and have turned out to be
"the most caring, kind, honest,
genuine and loving person
"I've ever met in my life."
# Will you stay with me tonight
# And pretend it's all all right? #
Sorry.
# Tell me that you love me... #
Cor, I'm getting a bit touched here.
"My favourite thing about you
is the way you love me
"and make me feel special
more and more every day."
"We've had some ups and downs
in the past year...
"..and it's been a rollercoaster,
but something I can say
"is that I went into
this relationship a timid girl,
"and, a year later,
I've grown into a confident woman
"all because of you
and how you make me feel,
"and I couldn't thank you enough
for that.
"Happy one-year anniversary...
"and here's to the future."
Well, listen, I ain't going nowhere.
I love you to pieces.
Here's the next year and many more.
Oh, I love you.
# Tell me that you love me
# The way you used to love me
# One last time to hold you... #
So it's been
a good little day here, innit?
Trouble is, yeah, too much choice.
Cheese toastie's unbelievable.
You got pizzas over there,
cheese toasties over there -
it's too much choice.
Babe, Pete's over there, look.
Oh, yeah. I should go
and speak to him, really.
Good, I think that's best,
just get it all out.
Right, girls, I'm gonna go talk
to him now, yeah? OK, babe.
I'll see youse in a bit.
See you in a bit.
Bye.
Pete, what's happening, mate?
What's happening? You all right?
How you doing, you good?
Fabulous, you?
I'm not bad, not bad. I just
wanted to have a chat with you.
You know what it's like round here.
Before people talk,
I'd rather you just hear from me,
d'you know what I mean?
So, all it was, I think,
after Thailand,
I feel like there've been moments
when a few little things
have been said
and it might have been strange
between us.
I... I think you might
be being a bit sensitive about it,
because I don... If I had a problem,
Dan, I'd have told you.
Look, I spoke to...
I spoke to Diags,
to the others -
it's just not me that's felt it.
People have said to me,
"Look, we see it." Like what, Dan?
Just little things here and there
that makes me think,
"Why has Pete said that?"
And I just think...
Dan doesn't wanna row,
so if it gets heated,
it'll be from Pete.
Yeah, Dan don't like rowing.
Dan won't row.
As far as I'm concerned, this
is a bit, like, out of the blue,
and I think you're talking shit.
It might be out of the blue to you,
no, listen, it might be
out of the blue to you,
but I notice it,
and others notice it.
I feel like maybe a little bit
of bitterness comes out towards me.
The only thing that's ever
pissed me off about it
is things that
I've heard you've said at the time
that I did think were a bit snaky
about, you know, "Fuck Pete off,"
cos you did know there was stuff
going on with me and her,
and that's something that I was
surprised about from you, because...
But those things have been taken
well out of context for a start.
That would have been when
me and Chloe were both joking about.
This is hard for me to talk about,
she's standing over there.
I know. But, at the time,
that would have been something
in response to her going,
"Are you still with her?"
Or, "Fuck her off,"
and I've gone jokingly,
"Oh, are you still with Pete?"
Something like that.
But I think...
That's not been said in a way
where I would slag you off.
I spoke to Chlo about it last night,
and, like, you knew things
had gone on between me and her.
Yeah, of course,
but I always thought...
That's why it's strange
you think I've got the problem.
It should really be
me having a problem...
I always thought it was the same.
I've thought it was the same
as the me-and-Chloe situation.
She said you were fully aware of...
She told me about you.
..quite a lot.
She told... Yeah, she told me
a lot about you and her,
but I didn't know how deep it was.
Demi and Diags were also in a room,
apparently, when, you know...
Cos, in Thailand,
I did have a bit of a meltdown.
I was like, "Oh, fuck me,
this is awkward for me."
Knowing that you knew that
and that you'd heard people
say how I was feeling,
you carried on anyway,
that was a bit of a kick
in the teeth, but...
I just think, it irritates me,
cos I struggle to understand
how you can be quite fake,
being so nice to someone's face,
then digging him out
behind his back,
whereas I think Dan's only sort of
just realised it now, but I dunno.
Listen, things have worked out,
you know, the way they should be.
Me and Chloe are getting back to
the way we was before,
and it's probably
a weight off our shoulders
that everything's out in the open.
We're all fucking too old now.
Yeah, well...
But, yeah, there's no issue, mate.
Chloe's walking over.
Don't forget about
your girlfriend over here!
All right?
That's what I'm worried about.
All right?
All right?
All right?
But, yeah, listen...
It's all, er... all good, yeah?
We'll have a beer later, Pete.
All right. Ta-ra, mate.
See you later. Bye.
You all right?
Yeah, you?
Yeah. Nice chat?
Yeah.
All good?
Yeah.
How was it? All right?
Yeah, no, it was fine.
It was all right.
Good.
I said what I had to say, and...
Well done.
He seems to think I'm maybe
just feeling a bit guilty.
Guilty? Well, cos, apparently,
Chloe said to him
I said something about him.
I feel like it was just something
more said out of a jokey way
than serious.
Right.
I told him I think it was
a bit snaky what he said, but, pff.
What'd he say?
Taken out of context.
Well, I said it word for word
what he said.
Listen, apparently, everyone agrees
that I've been digging him out.
Oh, God.
At least the air's cleared.
Yeah.
But...
No, I agree.
Look. It's nothing,
it's done, it's done.
Hallelujah.
All good.
The world is a happy place
once again.
Yeah.
Good.
He was half trying to get an apology
out, but didn't get it out.
Well, d'you know what, Pete...
now me and you have teamed up again,
it is over for these bitches.
# You just want the power
# You're not really
Down for the love
# You just want the power
# Power! #
Bang, bang, bang.
That's it.
Confetti cannon, go!
When I'd introduce you
to someone you don't really know,
sometimes,
you're not very welcoming.
Cos I get shy.
I do understand
where Ella's coming from,
like, why she wouldn't want us
to be friends.
It's not her place to get involved
and start saying
what you can and can't do, Kels.
You can do what you want.
I don't want us to get to a stage
where we lose what we've got.
I don't feel like you need
to justify yourself, though, Chlo.
I would like to not be thought as
as a liar.
I can just tell
there's some raw feelings there.
I wish that we could just
end this war once and for all.
# The only, the only
The only, the only,
# The only, the only
The only, the only
# The only way is up, baby
# For you and me now
# The only way is up, baby
# For you and me now. #
Subtitles by ITV SignPost
When's your anniversary?
It's coming up really soon.
What you after for it, Frank?
I'm joking!
Is that even the right hand?
We actually think
you're gonna be like "maidzillas".
Let the best maid of honour win.
Yeah, me.
Er, me.
No, me.
I seen Chloe Brockett the other day.
It just made me realise, like,
I don't hate her
for what she did to me.
You've gotta take Ella's feelings
into consideration.
I don't really trust
your intentions.
What do you want then?
What do you want?
Just build a bridge and get over it.
Why are you shouting at me?
I'm gonna be away for a little
while, but I'm gonna be back
and I want us to start afresh,
start again.
Since Thailand, a lot of things
have happened where I've thought,
"Why is Pete starting on me for?"
I don't think he likes me, mate.
To be fair, I don't think you're
the only one who's noticed it.
Obviously, looking back now, I mean,
it sort of all ties in
to the stuff that happened
between me and Chloe.
# The only way is up
# Baby
# For you and me now
# Ooh, ooh, oh! #
Right, harder!
Just imagine, it's 6AM,
I'm at an after-party
I've not replied to you
for three hours! Ow!
I've never been to a vineyard.
Neither have I, Saff,
how lovely is it?
I'd love to own one of these,
I'd be pissed every day.
This is your thank you dinner for
being the best daughter in the world
and for helping me out
with Clemmie.
I'd do anything for her and you.
Wahey!
I don't normally have to pop
my own bottles.
My arm's really tiring of this!
Cheers, George.
Cheers.
Nicole, do you want a sausage roll?
Ow! Shit, son!
Oh, Bob.
Hello, girls!
That's a very butch backpack.
Well, you know me.
We'll take it from the start.
A one, two, three, good.
And a one, two, three,
and the turn, there it is.
What a twat!
How wonderful
to be here today, Saff,
it's so lovely, isn't it,
to actually have a glass of prosecco
and to be with friends and family?
What you talking like that for?
You sound like you've shit yourself.
How disgusting, Harry!
Basically, I've said I wanna go
elocution lessons for Polly
because, obviously,
Polly's started school
and when I drop Polly off,
the mums are really well-spoken
and not because I wanna be posh,
I just want to speak nicer.
I'm also doing it
for the wedding,
because how lovely to speak
lovely...
In the speech.
..in the speech.
So you're telling me
you're doing this
to drop off Polly at school
and be the better maid of honour
at my wedding.
Yes.
Came here last week and, obviously,
cos I'm the best maid of honour
ever,
I thought about you, Harry,
straightaway, I thought,
"Harry needs to go wine tasting
for his wedding..."
Dem, I know his favourite wine.
I haven't got to come to a vineyard
to tell you what his favourite wine
is. I know he loves a sauvignon,
I know he loves it from New Zealand
so... better luck next time, hun.
Oh, my God, she's such a bitch
today!
Demi, I've gotta ask you one
question and one question only,
where was Harry born?
Harold Wood.
He was born at Barking.
You're actually wrong.
Oh!
Oh.
Where was you born?
At Rush, er, Rush Green.
How do you feel? Oh, my God,
you've had an absolute mare.
I think we should all go away,
Demi bake a cake...
Amazing.
..Amy bake a cake.
Yep.
So, me and you,
having a bake-off, Ame!
I actually think
this is such a good idea
cos it's gonna prove...
who the best maid of honour is.
The bake is gonna be the make.
I like that.
May the best woman win.
Cheers.
Woo-hoo!
# Just figure it out
# Figure it out
Just figure it out
# Just figure it out... #
That was actually pretty average,
but what has this got to do
with your 30 By 30?
I wanna learn to dance,
and I thought,
well, go in at the deep end,
d'you know what I mean?
Taps the hard... apparently,
the hardest dance to learn.
Seriously, you're gonna learn tap?
It's not just about learning
to dance tap, mate,
it's the bigger picture,
it's everything. To impress girls.
The only reason
you're learning to dance
is to impress someone,
and who is that person?
Yeah, it's to impress you,
to get into your music video.
Don't start me about me and him
and the music video.
I'm actually quite pissed off
with you. Why? Ooh!
Because, like, I don't think
you're taking this seriously, bruv,
the whole music thing.
You're saying you wanna do
directing and music,
one thing, one thing,
and then, somehow,
it's come back
to your 30 By 30.
Take it seriously. You're out
every weekend getting pissed.
I don't see no storyboards.
Now we're here doing tap dancing.
I'm getting in the mind-set
of a rapper. What's he do?
Go out every weekend, gets lagging,
gets pissed. Tap dances!
I'm living the life of a rap star.
Rapper and a tapper.
And the only way to go is...
Oi, on a serious note...
..are you gonna do that storyboard?
Can't hear. What?
Are you gonna do that storyboard?
See ya tomorrow.
Bye!
# But it's not the kind of weather
To be dancing in your sweater... #
Ooh, what you sketching?
Well, basically,
getting some ideas out there,
what my characters are gonna look
like in the book I'm writing.
What sort of characters
have you got already?
Well, even though the book's
about trolling... Yeah.
..the idea behind it is actually
that trolls...
are people that you would
come into contact with on the daily
and you don't necessarily know
they're a troll.
They're a troll, yeah. Oh, look,
there's Frankie and Harry. Frankie!
Harry! Come here, come and join us.
How are you guys?
Good.
Do you mind if I put a blanket down?
Of course.
Such lovely weather.
Yeah, that's what we was thinking.
I'm glad you lot are here.
You guys are so cute together.
Aw, thank you.
It's coming up to our
one-year anniversary.
A year? Oh, my God,
that's gone fast! Flown by.
It's weird cos it's gone,
like, really quick,
but I feel like I've known him all
my life, like, it's so strange. Aw!
Have you got to that stage
where you've kind of...
you've got, like, the niggles yet?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Why, what annoys you about me?
Her communication skills
are really bad. Yeah.
I'm the type, I'll be like,
"I love you so much",
like, "You're so sexy" and that
but, like,
it don't happen often,
d'you know what I mean?
I'm not good with my emotions and
Harry's a really emotional person,
he's like the woman
of the relationship and I'm the man.
Frankie, he must annoy you as well.
Yeah, he takes longer than me
to get ready.
He's got this little black
wash bag,
he disappears for two hours
and then he comes out shining!
I think we should have a little
toast to the anniversary.
Sounds good.
Lovely, let's go.
Cheers, guys.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Are you sad that I'm moving out?
I think you're gonna be shocking
when you move out. Why?
Because you don't cook.
I can cook a bit of toast.
But, d'you know what, I'm glad
that you're doing it, it's good.
Me and Ella,
we're friends again now.
I know. We had a bit
of that disagreement, obviously,
about the Chloe situation.
Yeah.
Obviously, I love Ella,
but Chloe...
Chloe was very close,
she was part of our family.
Yeah, I know, it's just crazy.
I know, but she has got a heart
and she is kind. I just...
You know, it's not a situation
that... that you wanna be in.
Cos you don't want to be arguing
and falling out with people,
that's not you.
Hello!
Hi. How are you?
Hi, my lovelies.
You look nice.
This is Tom.
Oh, hello, how are you?
How are you?
And that's Jeanette.
Nice to meet you.
All right, girls?
Yeah, good. Bit late, ain't you?
Er, when am I not ever late?
I know. I should have known!
Jeanette, I've not seen you
in so long. I've missed youse.
How have youse been, though?
Been all right?
Yeah, I've been good. I mean,
I'm happy that I'm sitting here,
Thought she might... Chloe Brockett
might have wormed her way through.
Oh, no.
We bumped into them the other night.
Who?
Chloe and Joey.
What happened?
They was muggy and patronising
towards her.
Like they were trying to wind me up.
I know what Chloe and Joey are like
when they're together.
Yeah. Like they can be really,
really nasty.
Even looking at Joey
when we were having this argument
or whatever you want to call it,
he knows that she is wrong.
He couldn't even look at me
in the face.
Probably felt like he had to,
because he was with Chloe.
He's just being a sheep.
It's good to see youse two
actually together again.
Friendship's a big thing.
Someone you can trust. Yeah, course.
You don't want to just
throw that away, trust me.
Nothing would ever come between us.
No. You're my number one.
Cheers!
Cheers.
Yeah, cheers. Cheers.
I can have a little, erm, drink,
cos Maddy is away with her dad.
This looks lovely, don't it?
So cute!
Just always being the hostess
with the mostest round here,
what can I say?
Listen, enough of this.
No, George, not this again.
I've brought the samples with me.
You should leave the house stuff...
You don't wanna talk
house stuff every day?
I 100% don't.
I thought you loved it.
Hi, guys.
Oh, my God!
How are we all?
Pete!
You definitely ain't that tall,
what you standing on?
Oh, my God, I'm well shocked.
Ah! Hello!
What's happening? This is cute.
How are we? Ooh, God, this is...
This is bad for my knees.
Look how cute that is, how happy
she is. I missed you, Pete.
Let's get rid of these
fucking things, eh?
Did you miss Chloe?
Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did miss her.
How much?
There, about that, about.
Is that cos your fingers are so
small you can't stretch 'em out?
That's quite a lot.
That's a yard, that's a mile.
You've chirped up now Pete's
come back, anyway.
Yeah, you ain't half chirped up.
Yeah, well... We're on a good run
at the moment, aren't we?
It's cos you ain't seen him
for a week.
Exactly, it's cos
I've not been here! Yeah.
I need to lock him up in there
so he can't piss me off.
No, I'm just happy to see you
cos, like,
we've just kind of got
into a nice little spot
and then he's like,
"I've gotta go away for work."
I panicked bit cos I thought,
is he gonna be the same
or is he gonna have changed again?
You know what I'm like.
Overthinking.
I've got a surprise for you tonight.
Aw.
Get dressed up, we're going out.
Ooh! Dressed up.
Before I went, I told you
I was gonna do something
to try and make it up to you.
OK.
Well, just one night out's
not gonna make it all up. No.
So don't put too much pressure
on tonight, yeah?
The look on your face, don't look
like he needs to make up that much.
He does. Inside, still, like...
All right, cool.
# Something 'bout you
# It's taking me up and I know
# Something 'bout you... #
You're probably the most unfit
person ever.
You was like,
"Oh, my legs are aching."
I put a good shift in
on that assault course. All right.
How was your night, anyway?
Well, whilst you was out,
Yaz FaceTimed me.
She basically was like,
you know, the whole time
when me and Nicole had had a row,
it was just a really shit situation
for her
and she was put in, like,
near enough an impossible position,
but wanted to like,
make sure I was OK
and just saying, you know, she
doesn't wanna lose me as a friend
and we've worked so hard to build
our friendship back where it was,
considering we did fall out,
which was really nice
cos it does play on my mind.
I said to Lockie,
regardless of how good a friend
Nicole is to her,
I don't know nothing about that,
what I do know is
you're a good friend to her,
so you shouldn't let that come
between you at all. Yeah.
And hopefully it hasn't, like,
by what you're saying.
I still feel very... tight.
Oh! From the old assault course
I done.
Didn't overly enjoy the exercise,
but, obviously, went to the pub
after, had a little chat with Diags
about the whole Pete situation.
I think now the whole Pete and Chloe
stuff has come to light,
it sort of made sense to me.
I've always said, like,
Pete is not your friend,
I've been saying this to you
for so long,
you didn't wanna believe it
because you don't like
to have drama with people,
but he is being really bitchy,
everyone has said it,
everyone's seen it.
It all makes sense now
because the fact that then
she had a thing with you,
obviously got under his skin a lot.
I don't actually feel like
he's ever gonna admit,
"Dan, d'you know what,
"I've got a problem with you
because the girl I actually like,
"you've had a thing with."
He's never... Do you really
think he'll ever admit that?
Probably not, no.
# The only way is up! #
# Let's not overthink it
# Let's just say it like it is
# You know we have a good thing
# Not just friends
With benefits... #
Well, I... What's the average size
of a penis?
I don't know, girls.
Is it like four inches
or something? I dunno!
Is that what Harry tells you?
Oh, yeah!
Oh, my God!
Hi, girls!
What the fuck has happened?
Today, I've been baking.
Look, I've got it all over me.
And it exploded!
It's like an explosion.
OK, so your first one
is the three of pentacles.
You are going to be successful.
Wherever you point your magic wand,
things will happen.
Magic.
Glad I'm not saying that to a bloke.
OK...
Aw!
This is so cute.
I'm cute.
Look, we've brought our mums out
for a lovely meal.
A nice surprise.
What you trying to insinuate,
we don't take you out?
Well, yeah! You don't, actually.
That's not true.
When did you last take me out?
It was... 2019.
Are youse both doing yours
like that?
Whoa.
How are youse doing yours?
She ain't seen a dick
for ages, has she?
She ain't got a clue.
Shush, girls, girls.
How many dicks are we actually
putting on this cake?
Girls, I dunno, like,
Amy's trying to make herself
look like the better maid of honour,
so I'm gonna beat her with this,
like, willy cake.
Slightly off topic,
but do youse think I'm bad
at expressing my feelings?
Yeah, 100%, you're the worst.
Why you asking that for, Frank?
Harry was basically saying,
the thing that annoys him
the most about me is that
I'm not in touch with my emotions.
D'you know what it is
with you, Frank?
Every single relationship you've had
has ended really, really badly
cos they've ended up
hurting you. Yeah.
So I think that's why
you're not overly emotional
because you've grown
such a thick skin now.
I just need to show him that I
actually do care as much as he does.
# I know, I know, I know you
# Oh, oh... #
You're nearly a year strong.
Who would have thought it?
Not a lot of people.
Everyone, right,
was coming up to me,
"Youse two won't last."
Even Mallett bet me £100.
I know!
Obviously, there's ups and downs
in relationships,
we've had plenty of them.
What would you say
your bad points are?
Her communication skills.
Like if I rang her up now
and went, "Why do you love me?"
She'll go, "Er...".
D'you know what I mean?
She'd go, "I don't know,
I'd rather text it to you." Right.
That definitely needs to improve.
I've got things I need
to work on as well, I know that.
I do get a bit jealous
every now and then, ain't gonna lie.
Mm.
But, you know, year down the line,
gonna pull out all the stops for it.
Why, where you going?
I'm gonna take her pottery.
I think you gotta do
more than pottery
for a one-year anniversary.
Right, what's happening?
What's happening?
What's happening? Yes, yes.
Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Fucking hell, bet you're having
intelligent chat here, ain't you?
What you talking about? Politics?
We've been talking about
his one-year anniversary coming up.
You've made it to one year?
Yeah, mate.
Beat the six months!
Talking of that,
got your scratch here.
Here's that hundred quid I got you.
So what was the bet?
He was like, "I'll bet you £100
"you ain't got six months in you."
Basically, right...
That's a liberty, that.
No, listen.
Do you know how many five pences
are in £100, Har'?
20,000.
Oh, no, this geezer!
Can do something nice with that,
for your anniversary.
Yeah, I've got pottery planned.
Pottery? Yeah.
What?! But he reckons I need
to do something better.
Right, I've got you,
let's do this, Gat.
What about, like, trying
to find some gold or something?
Like a treasure hunt.
Yeah.
And you're gonna lead her
to the thingy by doing poems
so she's gonna have to...
You say something,
she'll go over there, get it,
then it leads to the next gaff.
This is the first one, wait.
"Your garms are looking wavy,
"left you a clue on the pavey."
You've got flour in your eyelash.
I've got flour everywhere.
Honestly, it's like, in my boobs
as well.
Well, at least you won't sweat!
Girls, I've been baking
all day today,
and I just need to get
the perfect cake for the wedding.
Me and Harry are best friends.
I do feel a bit put out with Demi
because she wants
to be maid of honour
and, obviously, I want
to be maid of honour.
Well, can't there be two,
like, maids of honour?
Listen, you can have two
maid of honours,
but I think I should be head
maid of honour. Yeah.
And, like, she gets the shitty jobs,
d'you know what I mean?
So thanks for coming round,
prosecks in the garden.
Thanks for having us.
Thanks for inviting us round.
Honestly, it's just a really
peaceful garden.
Everyone says it, don't they?
No, it is, like even, honestly,
girls, Amy got me and Kelsey round
and it ended in us being civil.
Honestly. Wow.
That's a miracle garden here.
Anyway, girls, I've got a massive
performance tomorrow.
Why, what do you mean?
So Diags is doing his 30 before 30.
Yeah.
And one of his strange ones was
that he wants to learn how to dance.
That's amazing!
We've gone tap dancing.
Oh, God, you did?
How did it... How did it go?
So they were so good
that I've arranged for them to
perform it tomorrow at her market.
Oh, my God. I'd love to get Polly
into tap dancing.
I think I'd want my kids to do,
tap dancing and stuff like that,
it's so cute.
Yeah.
I, like, basically,
really worry about having kids.
Like, I'm not young anymore,
and there's actually
fertility problems in my family,
so my nan took, like, five years
to get pregnant,
my mum took three years.
It's, like, a real worry for me.
Yeah, of course.
I think like, girls have got
this such internal clock
of, like, ticking.
See, I've got to be completely
honest with you,
so it took me two years
to fall pregnant with Polly.
I had my ovaries checked,
so what you might have to do
is have your ovaries checked.
Listen, they're gonna be fine,
but sometimes they say when you want
something so much, it don't happen.
And the minute that I relaxed...
It happened. ..I fell.
I definitely think having a test
is a good idea for you
cos I know how much you stress
and you talk about it all the time.
I'm like the expert in trying
to fall pregnant,
so if you want any advice,
come to me. I'm a professional.
OK, so when I'm actually trying,
you can move in with me and George
and you can tell us to go upstairs
when we need to. Yeah.
Go on, Cle-bag.
I probably wanna ask the obvious.
Relationships.
Am I gonna meet someone soon?
Let's have a little look.
It says be careful
not to self-restrict,
not to, erm, hold yourself back.
So have a look
at what has stopped you
from getting what you want.
I restrict myself all the time,
don't I? Yeah, you do.
So that's... That's hit the nail
on the head for me.
Bob, I think you're up.
Well... your first card
is the tower.
You're trying to achieve something
and it might not be going
quite to plan.
What can you see for me
in terms of relationships?
Can you see me getting married,
will I have children?
Let's have a look.
It is a legal card,
so there may be
some kind of legal ceremony,
so a marriage is a legal ceremony.
Yeah. So we would look at that
favourably.
You don't sound too sure, girl!
It may be, erm,
an unconventional ceremony.
You might write down your pre-nup
agreements, all of those things.
Pre-nup?
Pre-nup.
That's what that would all be about.
# Is that what love looks like? #
James, stop playing with that food.
I ain't playing with it.
You are, you're playing with it.
Listen, listen to your mum,
do as you're told.
You're getting that all over
your face now as well, look. Look.
Don't do that at the table with me!
Deb, have you, erm,
met James' girlfriend yet?
Shut up.
No, I haven't.
You haven't?
No. So when am I...
There's a pandemic!
You can't meet people all the time
these days. What would Boris say?
I mean, you're that serious
with her,
you spend all that time together
and you haven't even introduced her
to your mum yet.
Listen, it's a big step.
I'm not just willy-nilly,
like you with birds.
Just bringing,
just bringing a carousel...
Why are you laughing?
Yeah, you asked for that Dan,
you did ask for that one.
"Come meet Wendy." "When did you
meet her?" "Oh, last night."
I don't... No!
I don't do that do I?
I'm not that bad.
Yep. You're a new man, apparently.
And I'm a new man, yeah.
That's nice to hear, finally.
And times have changed, yeah.
Good!
Got there in the end. Well done!
Deb, I'm 30 now, like,
I had to grow up at some point,
didn't I?
Even I'm doing stuff
I've never done before.
Making the most
of the last of my twenties.
And I'm quite proud of you,
actually.
Thank you.
I'm ahead of a lot of people.
Like... What's everyone else doing?
Regardless of what they're doing,
how is it between you lot?
All the boys?
We're all cool, to be honest.
Are we?
That's not what you said
the other day.
Oh, no, well, basically,
it's all come out,
this whole Pete and Chloe stuff,
and apparently they've got
a really deep...
Yeah, for the last two years,
Well, they said to everyone
they was just friends,
but it was a lot more than that.
Yeah.
So he was jealous
of your little thing with Chloe.
Well, I just don't think...
If he had deep feelings for her,
it makes sense why he would feel
a bit bitter towards me,
d'you know what I mean?
Why he was so over the top.
I just think, yeah. At least if you
try and say, "Look, mate, I'm sorry,
"and I didn't realise
there was anything there,
"I thought it was
just a friendship."
I think if it was an issue
in Pete's eyes back then,
then, obviously,
it's good that we address it
and speak about it, I suppose.
Yeah, and is it still?
Is it still there?
Yeah. Yeah, is it still now? Yeah.
# I'm trapped outside
Inside my mind... #
Ah, Pete, you've done really well.
I'm so glad you picked this.
Well, listen, over the years,
probably our best nights have come
from going places with live music.
We both love it. So I thought
this would cheer you up, it's
a bit different. I'm cheered up.
Just not with you.
All right, OK, fine.
Excuse me!
Fabulous musician in the corner!
What are you doing?
Sorry, everyone, sorry, shush.
Genuinely, I apologise, could you
play some sad music for me?
Oh, my God, what are you doing?
Shush.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna go.
No, sadder!
Chloe Simms...
Erm, I am sorry I'm a dickhead
and I'm sorry I've not been there,
but I love you, please forgive me.
I'll forgive you if you just shut up
and sit down, please. Thank you.
Stop raising your voice, that is
really embarrassing. I'm sweating.
I love you and I'm sorry.
All right, fine, I forgive you.
You didn't have to shout
the whole jazz bar down.
What's been going on?
What have I missed?
You're getting right dug out and...
Oh, the opinions have started?
Apparently, Dan Edgar has said
that now it makes sense
why you constantly dig him out
more than anybody else.
He's totally pretending that
he didn't know about me and you.
He said to me,
before we went Thailand,
in front of Demi and Diags,
"Fuck Pete off and come with me."
He is a compulsive liar.
When that whole Dan thing happened,
I couldn't tell my real truth,
because no one knew
about me and you.
The way he treated you was a fucking
disgrace, but I've done no better.
It's a completely different
situation. D'you know what I mean?
You didn't publicly humiliate me.
He knew that I was upset
in Thailand,
he knew I was vulnerable,
and he still did what he did.
It's a bit annoying that people
are kind of using the fact
that things have happened
between me and you,
as, "Oh, that's why Pete's
so protective over Chloe."
Before anything happened
between me and you...
I would have... backed you anyway.
I do that because I love you,
full stop.
It makes a lot of sense to people
that have got half a brain,
but we're dealing
with absolute irritants.
You're not on your own this time,
all right?
I ain't gonna let people
start digging you out
without me standing there with you.
So if people want to come for us,
then they can come for us.
Good luck.
# No, no
Nothing's gonna stop you now! #
# The only way is up! #
# If you wanna be loved
Tell me now... #
If you're gonna do a 30 Before 30,
you've gotta do it real and big.
We are gonna be performing
in the foreground here.
Stunning. They're not the manliest
shoe in the world, is it?
What's it feel like?
Really nice.
But it's well hard.
All right, mate,
put your finger in that.
Oh, my God. It's unbelievable.
Cor. Let's have a feel.
Oh, my God.
I feel like
a pushy stage-school mum.
You're so talented,
you just need to do it now.
Whoo! Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Oh!
Happy feet.
I'm back!
Fuck.
Honestly, Diags.
Keep tapping!
Come on, we need some money
for charity. Roll up.
Woo-hoo!
First up!
Ah, thank you very much.
I'll tap for you.
Thank you!
Oi! Oi, oi!
Moolah, oi! Big boy moolah!
Scores in, yeah? You've
got the wrong shoes on, though.
Nice, Tommy boy, well done.
Thanks, Tom!
Oh, yeah!
And end.
Yeah, you lot went in!
Oh, yeah!
Man, that was hard.
When you said
that you went to dance school,
I thought you were lying,
but that - jeez.
My legs just feel like
they just wanna go,
and then my body just goes with it.
Yeah!
Honestly...
I just go. I just go.
I think you've done amazing.
Like, do you feel like you've really
done your 30 Before 30?
I'd say... probably
one of my best ones yet.
You can turn 30 a happy man now.
Exactly. Almost, but... this happy.
And I'm gone.
Does anyone want a drink?
What's that?
Oh, I'll clear this up then.
Drinks, everyone?
# Yeah, I dropped that
To make him like you... #
Right, that's enough.
Oh!
Oh, Harry!
You've just got some on my dress.
Get off me now.
You're too sweaty, anyway.
So much for the romance.
Yeah, this was quite romantic,
to be fair,
but how have I managed
to keep it off my dress,
and you've got it on there
straightaway?
I can't believe
we're coming up to a year. I know.
Who would have ever thought
we'd get to a year, me and you?
Crazy, innit? We had loads of
doubters at the start, didn't we?
Everyone. Everyone was giving
their two pennies' worth.
"They won't last."
"He don't like her."
I know.
But we've proved everyone wrong.
I'm glad that, like, everyone
around us can be happy for us,
and everyone sees us as, like,
a "proper couple". I know.
However... this ain't just it.
This is the appetiser.
The main meal's coming later, right?
You're gonna love it.
What are we doing?
Don't worry.
I'll send the helicopter at five...
Helicopter?!
All right, cab.
Erm... and we'll go from there.
All right?
OK.
I need to go now, cos
I've got so much stuff to sort out.
You're just leaving me
with all this mess?
You crack on with that.
I'll see you in a bit, yeah?
Where you going?
I'm just gonna sort a few bits out.
See you later.
What?! Well, bye, then.
# Baby, make your move
Step across the line
# Baby, make your move... #
Thank you, darling.
# Baby, make your move
Step across the line
# Touch me one more time
Come on, dare me
# Baby, make your move. #
These are the sort of days that
I just wanna be naked, don't you?
When in Clacton at a food festival,
I think clothes are appropriate.
How was your tarot reading
last night?
It weren't the best one
I've ever had.
I think, where she started referring
things to my relationship, maybe,
it kind of got cogs
turning in my head,
and maybe was making me think about
things that might have already
been in my mind
a little bit before, you know?
I think the long and short of it
is that, ultimately,
it's kind of made me confront issues
that I think I was kind of...
going through anyway.
The tar-rot reading,
take it with a pinch of salt,
because you don't know
what's gonna happen in the future.
Oh, it's tarot like arrow,
not tar-rot like carrot.
Oh! Oh.
But love you.
Erm, Joe's over there...
and I think I'm gonna
have a little chat with him. Yeah.
We'll leave you to it, girl.
Thanks.
Joe? Come and have a chat with me,
love.
Hey.
You all right?
I'm good, thank you. How are you?
Yeah, I've been good.
I just wanted to have a little chat
with you, to be honest.
cos, I'm not being funny, the other
day, when I did bump into you,
youse actually well upset me,
because you was smirking,
saying nasty comments.
I'm just defending my friend,
just as you would.
D'you know what I mean?
I just don't get, like,
why we have to row over it,
d'you know what I mean?
If you and Chloe
are gonna have an argument,
I'm gonna be with Chloe.
Like, I knew you for years,
and you were never that person
that you was the other day.
OK, well, I am honestly sorry
that it comes across that way.
I... I will work on that,
because that's what...
that's how you grow kind of thing,
so I recognise that.
I know I can be sarcastic sometimes,
and that's probably
one of my toxic traits,
but I want you to realise
that you holding onto this
isn't affecting anyone else
other than you.
Like, Chloe's fine.
Yeah.
You're carrying a burden
on your shoulders,
cos everything she does, you'll see
as a vendetta against you,
and that's really not the case.
I think we should just both
have respect for the era
and what it once was
and just focus on what it is now
and just do our own thing
and, you know, just not interfere
with each other in a negative way,
obviously, but I'm gonna go
get a cheese toastie,
so I'll see you later.
See you later.
Bye.
# It's too late, now I'm saying bye
# Ooh, baby, I'll find my way
# I'm happier without you anyway
# I used to sit here and wonder
# Wonder if... #
LOCKIE: Fucking typical innit?
What's that?
Me and you,
stuck here on our own again.
At a party, no-one wants
to interact with us cos of you.
What d'you mean, cos of me?
How is it because of me?
You don't get on with anyone.
I'm doing you a favour, right?
You're not drinking at the minute...
Do me a favour and start being nice.
I am being nice.
At least I'm sitting with you.
Do you think I want to sit with you
by a fucking swamp? No.
Anyway, have you missed me or what?
Course I've missed you.
Good. So, what have I missed?
Tell me something.
Er, bit of drama for Yaz
with the girls.
I dunno, mate,
it's... it's handbag stuff.
I haven't got involved.
You haven't got to.
If people don't like each other,
they don't, fuck 'em.
Are we talking about anyone
in particular here?
A certain Mr Dan Edgar?
Well...
I mean, I-I like Dan.
Evidently, he just don't like me.
What's that all about then?
He knows I don't necessarily
get on with his missus,
I've told her that,
I've told him that,
but I think, because of
all the stuff about me and Chloe,
I mean there's been a few things
that have been said
that I know about.
I mean, he knew about me and Chloe
before him and Chloe
started doing
whatever they were doing
and, and told her, "Oh, fuck Pete,
fuck him off," and all that crap.
Is that a snake move?
Yeah, little bit.
You need to nip it in the bud
and just go and speak to him.
Mm.
You know, cos it's just silly.
Yeah, mate, it's ridiculous.
And I'm like you now. I'm...
I'm, believe it or not, positive.
Yeah?
I'm positive.
I hope so.
I'm positive.
Cos I only want positive people
around me now.
- Talking of positive...
- Hello!
Here she is.
You look lovely.
What's happening?
Thank you. So do you.
Welcome to the positive circle.
Ooh!
This is the, er,
peace and love circle. Oh, is it?
I've got a question for you.
Who's more important - me or 'er?
Ooh...
Who you gonna pick? Quickfire.
She's done things for me
that you haven't.
Cos you're a couple, right?
Ooh, is that me then?
I tell you what, I don't want
a fucking mate like you.
Yeah, fuck you, yeah. OK, mate.
My old man was right about you.
You just got really pied off there,
mate.
Listen, he's my best mate...
No, don't fucking
go through it again.
I'm bored now. I wanna go.
..and you're...
you're my blurred line.
You'd better change that real quick.
I love you both.
There you go.
I just... Let's share him.
Let's share him. You can
have him from the waist down...
I'll have him from the waist up.
# I know that I'm talking too much
# And I'll get nowhere
trying to do it at once
# So stay young. #
# The only way is up! #
Ooh... That's... Oh, look at that.
Cute!
Oh, that's nice.
Frankie's gonna love this.
Why have you got them?
Fairy lights.
Mate, that is so clever.
Did you bring batteries?
Nah.
# Divin' into you with no regrets
# No more phases
No more time to waste it... #
"You're mad buff.
"Look behind da flowers -
you'll find some stuff."
Aww.
# Startin' out
We're nothin' more than friends
# Empty pages
Fillin' in the spaces... #
"Geez, your garms are looking wavy.
"I left you a clue on da pavey."
Aww, it's over there.
# Now, my heart is beatin'
Out my chest
# No more phases
No more time to waste it... #
"All the haters
said our relationship was fake.
"Follow the petals to the lake."
Oh, my God...
# Cos I've never felt like this
With anybody
# I wasn't sure of us
But now you got me... #
I've not even seen your cake,
it looks shit.
Oh, shut up.
Your cake looks shocking, hun.
Snoring El.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Hi, Harry.
Well, what do we have here?
We've got a snoring El cake and
then a really nice one over here.
I'm really excited
to see your cakes.
Oh, my God. Amy, that is stunning.
It's very boring.
It's just the basic bitch, innit?
I feel like you two are gonna have
full-on beef in a minute.
Listen. Can we just see yours now?
All right. Do the honours.
So here's the masterpiece.
What would my mum say
when she came to my wedding
and see willies on a cake?
I-It tastes good, you know.
I'll be the judge of that.
All right.
I feel like I need to try
this willy, as well.
Dem, it's a bit small.
Ooh, it's... That's absolutely rank.
It makes me sick.
That is the most disgusting...
It's thin... Eurgh.
I poured my whole heart into making
that cake for you. It took me hours.
I feel a bit disappointed by that.
I'm gonna try it,
cos I think it's only fair.
It's not even moving.
It's not even... What is... is this?
Right, the... the cake's fake.
It's not even real!
It's fake, sorry.
Oh, my God.
Are you having me on?
I've won.
Right, it's fake because
I was baking all night last night.
It literally didn't go to plan,
I was really stressing out, so...
I got this today.
I'm in actually shock.
Like, that, it's not even real cake.
So, who... who's won?
I've made my decision.
Wait for me, H!
Wait for me!
Are you joking?
Oh, my God!
That cake looks shit. That looks
te... That's worse than mine.
I'm actually in shock.
Hang on a minute, you
weren't meant to be making a cake.
It's between me and Amy.
No, you're right, Dem.
I'm glad you addressed that.
Sorry, I'm just setting it,
cos of the heat.
At least hers is real.
She's taken it so seriously.
I love it.
Come and taste it, Harry.
Bring the knife over.
I wouldn't taste it.
It's got setting spray on it.
No, it's edible setting spray.
What's it like?
Oh... Saffron...
Is it OK if try that cake?
No.
This is a competition. So, Harry...
Can I try Demi's then?
No, what you chatting?
Can I just try your cake?
Guys, guys, guys...
I'm trying her cake, all right?
Absolutely shocking.
Ame? This would make
a really good...
Oh, sorry!
Oh, my God!
Didn't mean to do that.
Ah!
Oh, my God.
Youse are out of control.
You've ruined your cake.
Woo-hoo!
Oh, my God.
I can't believe that.
I've got the willy.
# Don't need a bad man
Don't need a soldier
# Don't need God's plan
Don't need a hero
# Don't need you trying... #
Harry, what the hell?
Happy anniversary.
Do you like it?
Yeah. You look cute.
You look lovely.
Are you my present?
Yeah.
I've got you some flowers, an' all.
Oh, thank you, Harry.
They're beautiful.
Yeah?
Yeah, thank you so much.
Come on, let's sit down.
Harry, I love
all of these photographs.
They're all from, like,
the best times we've had.
And all the messages on the back.
And I've got something for you,
as well.
So, I've made you a book
of our year.
Oh, my God.
When you asked me
to be your girlfriend,
and this is the first night
that you told me you loved me.
Our first Christmas, the New Year.
Sometimes, I don't tell you enough,
but I do love you to pieces.
Yeah, I love you, too.
And you are beautiful.
Thank you, Harry.
I've actually got one more
little thing for you, as well.
Cor, it's all going off.
I've written you a little letter,
cos, obviously,
I'm not good with communication,
and I can never tell
you what I love about...
I'm getting so upset already!
And I can never tell you
what I love about you.
Sorry.
Don't get upset.
So, "To my Harry,
"I always knew
you was going to be my boyfriend.
"Since the day Demi told me
you said I was fit and a bit of you,
"I just knew it in my heart.
"You exceeded all expectations
and have turned out to be
"the most caring, kind, honest,
genuine and loving person
"I've ever met in my life."
# Will you stay with me tonight
# And pretend it's all all right? #
Sorry.
# Tell me that you love me... #
Cor, I'm getting a bit touched here.
"My favourite thing about you
is the way you love me
"and make me feel special
more and more every day."
"We've had some ups and downs
in the past year...
"..and it's been a rollercoaster,
but something I can say
"is that I went into
this relationship a timid girl,
"and, a year later,
I've grown into a confident woman
"all because of you
and how you make me feel,
"and I couldn't thank you enough
for that.
"Happy one-year anniversary...
"and here's to the future."
Well, listen, I ain't going nowhere.
I love you to pieces.
Here's the next year and many more.
Oh, I love you.
# Tell me that you love me
# The way you used to love me
# One last time to hold you... #
So it's been
a good little day here, innit?
Trouble is, yeah, too much choice.
Cheese toastie's unbelievable.
You got pizzas over there,
cheese toasties over there -
it's too much choice.
Babe, Pete's over there, look.
Oh, yeah. I should go
and speak to him, really.
Good, I think that's best,
just get it all out.
Right, girls, I'm gonna go talk
to him now, yeah? OK, babe.
I'll see youse in a bit.
See you in a bit.
Bye.
Pete, what's happening, mate?
What's happening? You all right?
How you doing, you good?
Fabulous, you?
I'm not bad, not bad. I just
wanted to have a chat with you.
You know what it's like round here.
Before people talk,
I'd rather you just hear from me,
d'you know what I mean?
So, all it was, I think,
after Thailand,
I feel like there've been moments
when a few little things
have been said
and it might have been strange
between us.
I... I think you might
be being a bit sensitive about it,
because I don... If I had a problem,
Dan, I'd have told you.
Look, I spoke to...
I spoke to Diags,
to the others -
it's just not me that's felt it.
People have said to me,
"Look, we see it." Like what, Dan?
Just little things here and there
that makes me think,
"Why has Pete said that?"
And I just think...
Dan doesn't wanna row,
so if it gets heated,
it'll be from Pete.
Yeah, Dan don't like rowing.
Dan won't row.
As far as I'm concerned, this
is a bit, like, out of the blue,
and I think you're talking shit.
It might be out of the blue to you,
no, listen, it might be
out of the blue to you,
but I notice it,
and others notice it.
I feel like maybe a little bit
of bitterness comes out towards me.
The only thing that's ever
pissed me off about it
is things that
I've heard you've said at the time
that I did think were a bit snaky
about, you know, "Fuck Pete off,"
cos you did know there was stuff
going on with me and her,
and that's something that I was
surprised about from you, because...
But those things have been taken
well out of context for a start.
That would have been when
me and Chloe were both joking about.
This is hard for me to talk about,
she's standing over there.
I know. But, at the time,
that would have been something
in response to her going,
"Are you still with her?"
Or, "Fuck her off,"
and I've gone jokingly,
"Oh, are you still with Pete?"
Something like that.
But I think...
That's not been said in a way
where I would slag you off.
I spoke to Chlo about it last night,
and, like, you knew things
had gone on between me and her.
Yeah, of course,
but I always thought...
That's why it's strange
you think I've got the problem.
It should really be
me having a problem...
I always thought it was the same.
I've thought it was the same
as the me-and-Chloe situation.
She said you were fully aware of...
She told me about you.
..quite a lot.
She told... Yeah, she told me
a lot about you and her,
but I didn't know how deep it was.
Demi and Diags were also in a room,
apparently, when, you know...
Cos, in Thailand,
I did have a bit of a meltdown.
I was like, "Oh, fuck me,
this is awkward for me."
Knowing that you knew that
and that you'd heard people
say how I was feeling,
you carried on anyway,
that was a bit of a kick
in the teeth, but...
I just think, it irritates me,
cos I struggle to understand
how you can be quite fake,
being so nice to someone's face,
then digging him out
behind his back,
whereas I think Dan's only sort of
just realised it now, but I dunno.
Listen, things have worked out,
you know, the way they should be.
Me and Chloe are getting back to
the way we was before,
and it's probably
a weight off our shoulders
that everything's out in the open.
We're all fucking too old now.
Yeah, well...
But, yeah, there's no issue, mate.
Chloe's walking over.
Don't forget about
your girlfriend over here!
All right?
That's what I'm worried about.
All right?
All right?
All right?
But, yeah, listen...
It's all, er... all good, yeah?
We'll have a beer later, Pete.
All right. Ta-ra, mate.
See you later. Bye.
You all right?
Yeah, you?
Yeah. Nice chat?
Yeah.
All good?
Yeah.
How was it? All right?
Yeah, no, it was fine.
It was all right.
Good.
I said what I had to say, and...
Well done.
He seems to think I'm maybe
just feeling a bit guilty.
Guilty? Well, cos, apparently,
Chloe said to him
I said something about him.
I feel like it was just something
more said out of a jokey way
than serious.
Right.
I told him I think it was
a bit snaky what he said, but, pff.
What'd he say?
Taken out of context.
Well, I said it word for word
what he said.
Listen, apparently, everyone agrees
that I've been digging him out.
Oh, God.
At least the air's cleared.
Yeah.
But...
No, I agree.
Look. It's nothing,
it's done, it's done.
Hallelujah.
All good.
The world is a happy place
once again.
Yeah.
Good.
He was half trying to get an apology
out, but didn't get it out.
Well, d'you know what, Pete...
now me and you have teamed up again,
it is over for these bitches.
# You just want the power
# You're not really
Down for the love
# You just want the power
# Power! #
Bang, bang, bang.
That's it.
Confetti cannon, go!
When I'd introduce you
to someone you don't really know,
sometimes,
you're not very welcoming.
Cos I get shy.
I do understand
where Ella's coming from,
like, why she wouldn't want us
to be friends.
It's not her place to get involved
and start saying
what you can and can't do, Kels.
You can do what you want.
I don't want us to get to a stage
where we lose what we've got.
I don't feel like you need
to justify yourself, though, Chlo.
I would like to not be thought as
as a liar.
I can just tell
there's some raw feelings there.
I wish that we could just
end this war once and for all.
# The only, the only
The only, the only,
# The only, the only
The only, the only
# The only way is up, baby
# For you and me now
# The only way is up, baby
# For you and me now. #
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