The Office (2005–2013): Season 4, Episode 4 - Money - full transcript

Coat!

Michael just rented
The Devil Wears Prada.

He has his Netflix
sent here to the office,

and he watches them in
pieces when things are slow.

Steak!

Where's my steak?

He's a big
Meryl Streep fan,

so I shouldn't be surprised that
he's identified with her character.

Get me Armani.

A suit?

On the phone.



Like the main
company number?

'Cause I'm gonna have to call information.
Where's Armani?

He's on the phone. Too slow.
You're not going to Paris.

I'm so much
better than you.

I owe you an apology.

You finished the movie.

Yeah. It was awesome.
Big surprise ending.

Won't ruin it for you.

No. Go ahead.

Meryl Streep is the bad guy.
Never see it coming.

Anyway, if I was mean in any
way to you, I am sorry.

I just want what's
best for you, minooshka.

Minooshka.

Mo cuishle. He's watching
Million Dollar Baby.



He's gonna try to kill me.

So this one goes with my eyes, and
this one goes with your eyes.

People have said
I have very pretty eyes.

You do.

I haven't heard the same about you.
So let's just go with mine.

Well, they both go with
the carpet that I've ordered,

and if we go with the brown leather on
the sofas then they go with that, too.

We already have
a sofa so why are...

A futon's not a sofa.

It folds up.
You've only seen it flat.

I know what
a futon is, Michael.

I... Okay. How much
is this gonna cost?

It costs what it costs.

No. That doesn't
even mean anything.

We have gone through this, okay.
We have gone through this.

Yes. Money has been a little bit tight
lately, but at the end of my life,

when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna
be thinking about how much money I have?

No. I'm going to be thinking
about how many friends I have,

and my children
and my comedy albums.

I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously
did pretty well money-wise.

It's just, you know, you say
it's gonna cost what it...

Yeah? Michael,
it's Ryan for you.

Conniving little runt.
Put him through.

Put him through.
Yes? Ryan, my man.

I sent you an e-mail about
the new PowerPoint.

Yes. And thank you
for sending that to me.

I had IT install the updated
PowerPoint on your computer

so you can use it
for the presentation.

I really want people
there using PowerPoint.

Okay. Yeah.
No, I don't know.

I don't know. I think
those IT guys messed up.

Hold on.
I'll get them on the phone.

Wait. No. Here it is.
Here it is. F'ound it.

Sure.
I can hold.

Dunder Mifflin.
Dwight Schrute.

Please hold.

Schrute F'arms, Guten Tag.
How can I help you?

Yes, we have availability on those nights.
How many in your party?

Oh, no. I'm sorry. No king beds.
No queen either.

Well, we make our own mattresses that
don't conform to the traditional sizes.

Closest would be twin.

Thank you so much for calling.
Call back again. Auf Wiedersehen.

Hey, Dwight.

None of your
business, Jim.

You running
a bed and breakfast?

It is not a B&B.

Agrotourism is a lot more
than a bed and breakfast.

It consists of tourists coming
to a farm, showing them around,

giving them a bed,
giving them breakfast.

Does the Department
of Health know about this?

I am not telling you anything.

Permits are pending.

Dwight Schrute,
Dunder Mifflin.

Hello.
I'm looking for a room.

Okay. This is a misuse
of company phones.

It says here you
cater to the elderly.

Where did you read that?

Trip Advisor.

Trip Advisor is the lifeblood
of the agrotourism industry.

A couple of bad reviews there,
you may as well close up shop.

That's what took down
the Stalk Inn,

one of the cutest little
asparagus farms you'll ever see.

How many in your party?

Two.

We offer tours of the
fields and of the barn.

Perhaps you'd be interested in
Mose's table-making demonstration?

So, I forgot to tell you
that I need the car tonight.

Oh, actually
I need the car.

Why? F'or improv?

Why don't you just pretend
that you have a car?

Good practice in case you ever do a scene
where you need to pretend you have a car.

Used to have two cars, traded them in.
Now we're down to one.

Good economic sense, although the
new car's a Porsche, for her.

One cardigan.

One sleeping cardigan.

One sleep apnea mask.

What about my
cherub figurine?

You took that with you.

No. I left it
on my night...

Your night table,
by the lamp.

You are incorrect.

I was recently scrubbing my room of
memories, and I didn't see it there.

F'ine.

My girlfriend
and I broke up recently,

and I must say
I am relieved.

It gives me a chance
to sow my wild oats.

In the Schrute family,

we have a tradition where when the
male has sex with another woman,

he is rewarded with a bag of wild oats
left on his doorstep by his parents.

You can use those oats to make
oatmeal, bread, whatever you want.

I don't care.
They're your oats.

The bar uses an applause meter.
That's why it is so important

that you all come and applaud only
for my band, Scrantonicity II.

Not Scrantonicity, which I
am no longer a part of.

Michael, can I count on you?

You cannot.
I have a thing tonight.

Damn it.

Michael.

What?
That reminds me.

If the invitation
still stands,

Pam and I would love
to have dinner tonight.

Oh, no.
I have a thing tonight.

That stinks.
Darn it.

Shoot.

How about this weekend?
No. Can't.

We only had tonight free, and we
really wanted to spend it with you.

Damn it to hell.
Okay, all right.

What do you got
going on tonight?

You wouldn't understand.
It's a secret.

I wouldn't understand
or it's a secret?

You wouldn't understand, Jim.
It's a secret.

I'm sorry, Mr. O'Brien. I didn't
mean to interrupt your dinner.

I just have a very
exciting offer.

My records indicate that you have
expressed interest in losing some weight.

Well, what if I told you

that I have a pill that will make you
50 pounds lighter in five minutes?

How would that sound?

Amazing, right?

Well, it won't be
that fast, but it will...

It will be that easy.

I can't believe
this place is real.

I mean, I've heard about his beet farm
for years, but I never thought...

The Beets Motel.

The Beets Motel?

That is... Wow.

Thank you.

The Borscht Hotel.

The Embassy Beets.
Radish Inn.

How are you doing this?

I don't know.

Oh, my gosh.

I just love sales. I love it to death.
It's as simple as that.

And I don't get to do enough of it as
a manager, so I took this second job

kind of as a hobby.

Some people have
golf or relaxing...

What's going on here?

Hey. I just got off the phone, and
I was gonna make another call.

We're a legit operation with a license
from the city. I can show you.

We pay minimum wage
against commission.

Nope. They're with me, so... This is
Nick F'igaro, manager to the stars.

We have three rooms,
each with a different theme.

What are the themes?

America, Irrigation
and Nighttime.

Irrigation.

Nice.

I'll put you down
for Irrigation.

Now then, do you have any special
needs or dietary restrictions?

Yes. We will be requiring
a bedtime story.

No.

Not even Harry Potter?
No, Jim, come on.

- But you promised...
- Mose, bags, now.

Here we are.
Irrigation room.

A very special room. So I'll come get you
before the table-making demonstration.

And as of this morning, we are completely
wireless here at Schrute F'arms,

but as soon as I find out
where Mose hid all the wires,

we'll get that power back on.

All righty.

Everybody in the conference
room in five minutes.

These meetings are useless.

I just want to remind you
to stick to the script.

It's been proven
to work, so...

Got it?

Very inspirational.

We're offering a $50 bonus tonight to
the guy with the most sales, okay?

Or a woman.

Or a trained seal.

You can make jokes when you've
made a sale there, rookie. Okay?

I'd say one in six.

What?

I thought you asked me what our chances
were of being murdered here tonight.

You know, I just realized this is Pam's
and my first night away together.

I used to play it
over in my head,

and it was just
a little bit different.

Maybe a nice hotel or a
romantic dinner, wine,

but wine that wasn't
made out of beets.

Didn't think Dwight
would be involved at all.

And I always
imagine less manure.

I mean some manure,
just less.

This is beet food.

Mose, what are you doing?
No, Mose. Put the manure down.

Put it down! Do not throw it!
Do not...

Yes, is Mr. Hudson there?

Yeah. Who is this?

Well, I'm just calling because
you responded positively to...

Michael?

Stanley?

Why are you calling
me here at home?

Señor, are you happy with
your long-distance service?

Michael, I know that's you. Why
are you calling me here at home?

Have you...

Have you considered
satellite television?

Michael, I know that's you.
I know your voice.

All right.

Why are you calling
me here at home?

When I'm at home,
at night, in my own house,

in my sweats drinking some red
wine, watching my mystery stories,

the last thing in
the whole godforsaken world

I want to hear is the
voice of Michael Scott.

Well, your son sounds
like he's really motivated.

I think it's crazy that the
coach won't play him, frankly.

My office.

You bet.

Just dial the number on the
sheet and stick to the script.

Say those words
exactly, got it?

I don't know why we have to
keep having this conversation.

Look, I know sales, and I had that sale.
I just needed a few more minutes to...

A few more minutes
is a waste of our time.

It's not a waste of time.
This is a trading game.

No. Look.
You give a quick pitch,

you make the sale, you move on.
That's how Vikram does it.

Vikram doesn't have
my people skills.

Good for Vikram, because he
outsells you every night.

No. Well, I hope
this conversation has helped.

"And Harry saw the white
hand raise its wand

"and felt Voldermort's
surge of vicious anger.

"Saw the frail old man
on the floor writhe in agony.

"'Harry.' It was over
as quickly as it had come.

"Harry stood shaking
in the darkness,

"clutching the gate into the
garden, his heart racing."

What you got tonight?

It looks like mixed masala,
eggplant and rice.

Oh, that looks good.

And what about you?
Peanut butter flavor again?

I am going with the vanilla
crisp this evening.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

I was a surgeon back home.

Really?
Yeah.

Wonder what I would
have been back home.

Well, this is your home.

I know, but it's so
competitive here.

What's $1 worth
in your land?

Medical school must have cost like
40 bucks or a donkey or something.

Uh, no.

I would have been
chief of surgery.

Or a cowboy.

Wait, you're
going out there?

Yeah. Coward.

Oh, my God.
What century is this?

You know what, here's the
thing about Die Hard 4.

Die Hard 1, the original, John McClane
is just this normal guy, you know?

He's just a normal
New York City cop

who gets his feet cut, and he gets
beat up, but he's an everyday guy.

In Die Hard 4, he is jumping a
motorcycle into a helicopter in the air.

Yeah.

You know? He's invincible.

It just sort of lost what Die Hard was.
It's not Terminator.

Dude, you should
review movies.

Oh, my God. Yes.

I'm telling you.
Yeah. You should.

I actually wrote a movie.
Really?

Well, I'm writing one, yeah.

What's it about?

Sort of a spy thriller.

Hey, what's so captivating?

I love captivating things,

and this must really be captivating
because it's keeping you off the phones.

I mean, time is your money. That's
how I know how captivating it is

because of how much time
you've spent talking.

Your turn.

Come in. Did you have
another nightmare?

Hey, Dwight.

Oh, Jim.

I thought you were Mose.

Does Mose have nightmares?

Oh, yes.
Ever since the storm.

Is everything satisfactory
with your stay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Great.

Just thought I heard crying or
moaning or something in here.

Oh, well, I'll look into
that in the morning.

Thank you for bringing that
to the attention of the staff.

Good night, Dwight.

Hey, so we're all gonna go out for a beer.
You want to come?

We'd love for you
to come, Michael.

Thanks, no. I have to work
in the morning, so...

All right.
Next time, dude.

Okay. See you guys.

Hey, how you doing?

You drive.
I had too much wine.

Okay.

How was yoga?

I didn't go.
Why?

Why not?
I just didn't.

Okay.

How was improv?

Good night, Vikram.
Good night.

Hey, congrats
on the bonus.

Thank you, Michael.

I'm gonna nab it
one of these nights.

Well, if you concentrate and
make your calls faster, yeah.

Good night.
Good night.

Michael.
Mmm.

Morning.
Hi.

Hey, Dwight.
How are you?

Pam.

You okay?

I am better than you have
ever been or ever will be.

Hey, guys. What's happening?
How's my favorite branch doing?

Okay, Michael, why don't
you start us off?

Um...

That wasn't much
of an introduction.

Ladies and gentlemen,
your boss, Michael Scott.

Oh, still lame. Okay.

All right.

Thank you, Ryan, for that
wonderful introduction.

Okay, today we're
going to be talking

about PowerPoint.

PowerPoint. PowerPoint.
PowerPoint.

Yes, I forgot about Ryan's presentation,
and yes, it would have been nice

to do well with the first
presentation that he had given me.

But you know what else
would have been nice?

Winning the lottery.

And the best way
to start is to hit "Start,"

and up comes the tool bar,
that's what she said.

What we have to do
here is go to "Run,"

and then you look
up to "PowerPoint."

And we are in.

We are going to register.
You hit "Register."

Updates are ready.
I should update.

"Estimated time 12 minutes."

So this should take
about five or 10 minutes.

Is this the first time
you've opened PowerPoint?

Why?

You didn't prepare a
presentation at all, did you?

No. I had a really rough night, and
my boss can back me up on that.

I'm your boss.

My other boss,
Mr. F'igaro.

You have another job?

What I do between 5:30 p.m. And 1:00 a.m.
Is nobody's business but mine

and my other business'.

Are you a cocktail waitress?

You cannot have
a second job

if it affects your work here.
It won't.

It did already.

Okay, honestly,

it is unlikely that I was
gonna figure this out anyway.

You're so funny.

Why is Darryl here?

He works
in the warehouse.

I invited him.

It's not a party. Darryl, back downstairs.
This isn't information you need.

This information here, yeah,
you're right, I don't need this.

Okay.

Hey, come on.

See you later tonight.

I got plans later.

Okay.
Bye, honey.

How long until you actually
get this presentation ready?

Why don't you do the presentation?
Honestly...

Because I don't want... I
mean, you know how to do it.

What I really want, honestly,
Michael, is for you to know it

so that you can communicate
it to the people here,

to your clients,
to whomever.

Okay.

What?

It's whoever,
not whomever.

No, it's whomever.

No. Whomever is
never actually right.

Well, sometimes
it's right.

Michael is right. It's a made-up
word used to trick students.

No. Actually whomever is the
formal version of the word.

Obviously it's a real word, but I
don't know when to use it correctly.

Not a native speaker.
I know what's right,

but I'm not gonna say

because you're all jerks who didn't
come see my band last night.

Do you really know
which one is correct?

I don't know.

It's whom when it's the object of a
sentence and who when it's the subject.

That sounds right. Well, it
sounds right, but is it?

How did Ryan use it? As an object?
As an object.

Ryan used me
as an object.

Is he right about that?

How did he
use it again?

It was Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to
explain the computer system, the object...

Thank you.
...to whomever, meaning us,

the indirect object, which is
the correct usage of the word.

No one asked you anything, ever.
So whomever's name is Toby,

why don't you take a letter opener
and stick it in your skull?

Hey, this doesn't matter,
and I don't even care.

Michael, you quit the other
job or you're fired here.

I've never done this before.

I have never quit
anything in my life.

So you are filming history.

Nick, I had a dream last night
that I had two full-time jobs.

One here at the lipaphadrazone
diet pill company.

Lipophedrine.
And in the other,

I was a regional manager of a small paper
supply company called Dunder Mifflin.

Never heard of it.

In this dream,

I did both of these jobs beautifully
and I loved it and everybody loved me.

The truth is,
I can't do this.

Are you quitting?

I am.

Come back anytime. Don't forget
to disinfect your headset.

I was never in this
for the money.

But it turns out that the money
was an absolute necessity for me.

I tried to live the dream, I tried
to have a job, a girlfriend,

another job, and I failed.

But the good thing about the American
dream is that you can just go to sleep

and try it all again
the next night.

So...

What's up?

Me. All night.

Dreaming about Angela's
smoking hot body.

You're being gross.

Not from
a male perspective.

You need to set me up with her. I
know she told you that she's looking,

and she's totally not
responding to my moves.

What moves?

I have moonwalked past
accounting like 10 times.

I can't believe
that's not working.

Yeah.

Um...

I don't know if I really
see you two together.

Really? Well, maybe you should look
in the smart part of your brain.

She's very religious.

Okay, well, I come from a line of
WASPs so long it leads back to Moses.

Okay, well, she takes her convictions pretty
seriously. She can be kind of severe.

Yeah, and I punched
a hole in a wall.

That's right. You did. Yeah.

Now that I think about it, Angela and
Andy might actually make a good couple.

But I couldn't
do that to Dwight.

Or Angela.

Or Andy.

Hey, Kevin,
you're a gambler, right?

A rounder? You play the
ponies, small horses?

I do gamble, Michael.

Yeah. I was thinking about
doing some gambling myself.

You know, just a
little bit of money.

Maybe doubling it, then
doubling it several more times.

I don't know,
kind of just for fun.

I was thinking, do you have any
tips or ideas about sure things?

Like a boxer

who is gonna throw
the big fight?

You know, like he's tied
into some crooked dealings

and maybe his kid is sick or something?
Like, who do I call about that?

The mob.

Do you know
anybody in the mob?

Okay.

Oscar,

I'm gonna need to take another
advance on my salary.

What do you mean
you have plans tonight?

I have my daughter tonight.
We're renting Charlotte's Web.

Well, you have
to make a choice.

It's either your
daughter or me.

My daughter.

Okay.

That's how it is.

Oops!

That was cold.

He's always been
terrible with money.

I bet it's Jan spending him
straight to the poorhouse.

Yeah.
Women be shopping.

I can't believe he
has a second job.

He's not even good
at his first one.

Hey, guys.

Shh.

What you talking about?

Okay. I know what's going on.
You're talking about Jim and Pam,

if they're having sex,

what it looks like, and I think...
Michael.

Hey, hey, hey.

Michael, are you
having money problems?

Monkey problems? No, I'm not
having monkey problems.

Why would I have
monkey problems?

I know you
heard me correctly.

Oh, I hate monkeys.

What's going on? Why do
you have a second job?

I don't have a second job.

Maybe I am having an affair
with Suzanne Somers.

Doesn't Jan have money?

I don't talk to my
girlfriend about money.

It is rude and unsexual.

True.

It's best to hide our money
problems from women.

I totally agree with you, but
I don't have money problems.

All right, you know what?
Watch this.

If I had money problems,
would I do this?

Well...

You just put
it back in your pocket.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I destroyed it.
It's not even useable anymore.

Hey, let's call
this what it is.

It's like she only wants to
hook up when Ryan comes around.

It's gotten to the point
where I get excited

every time I see that little
dude walk through the door.

Well, I just need to know
where this is going.

Hey, I like you.

All right?

What's not to like?

But you need to access
your un-crazy side.

Otherwise maybe this thing
has run its course.

Don't you dare walk away
from me, Darryl Philbin.

You are the most
selfish person

I have ever
met in my entire...

Slow down.
Think it over.

Darryl Philbin is the most
complicated man that I've ever met.

I mean, who says exactly
what they're thinking?

What kind of game is that?

Hey, cuz. Heard you're
having money problems.

No, you didn't.

Listen,
I got the answer.

You declare bankruptcy,
all your problems go away.

Creed Bratton has never
declared bankruptcy.

When Creed Bratton
gets in trouble,

he transfers his debt
to William Charles Schneider.

How would that help, Creed? In
Monopoly, you go bankrupt, you lose.

You don't go by Monopoly, man.
That game is nuts.

Nobody just picks up
Get Out of Jail F'ree cards.

Those things
cost thousands.

That is a good point.

Bankruptcy, Michael,
is nature's do-over.

It's a fresh start.
It's a clean slate.

Like the witness
protection program.

Exactly.
Not at all.

I've always wanted to be in the
witness protection program.

F'resh start.
No debts, no baggage.

I've already got my name picked
out, Lord Rupert Everton.

I'm a shipping merchant
who raises fancy dogs.

That's the life.

I declare bankruptcy!

Hey. I just wanted
you to know

that you can't just say the word
bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.

I didn't say it.
I declared it.

Still.
That's not anything.

This is a lot of
credit card debt.

Yeah. Tell me about it.

You know, Jan has my credit cards, and
she's using them as if I'm made of money.

She thinks I'm
a human ATM machine.

Okay, $125 at Amazon.

Oh, best of The Muppet Show on DVD.
Classic.

$1,200. What's a Core
Blaster Extreme?

That is by far the best way
to strengthen your core.

This machine, you sit on a stabilizer ball,
you put your feet into the power stirrups,

you reach up and you
grab onto the super rod,

and you twist and you twist and you twist.
It strengthens your entire core,

your back core,
your arm core, your...

The Marine Corps actually uses it.
I think that's how they got corps.

I left a little
present for Angela.

I think she's
going to like it

'cause I found it outside
Vance Refrigeration all alone,

and I told her in the note
that the cat came to find her,

that they were
destined to be together.

I got game.

Okay, the green bar is what you spend
every month on stuff you need,

like a car and a house.

That's so cool how you
have my name at the top.

The red bar is what you
spend on non-essentials,

like magazines, entertainment.
Right.

Things like that.

This scary black bar is what you spend
on things that no one ever, ever needs,

like multiple magic sets,
professional bass fishing equipment.

How did you do this so fast?
Is this PowerPoint?

Oh, man.

Angela really had
a hold on him. Angela.

Michael, I'm gonna set you and
Jan up with a debt consolidator.

You meet with this guy...
No. No.

We are going to
leave Jan out of this.

She has to know.

We will find
another way.

We'll ask PowerPoint.

Michael, this is a
presentation tool.

You're a presentation tool if you
think I'm gonna tell Jan about this.

I'm done. No, you're not...
Okay. Just...

You're not a tool. Look, we'll
tell her that it's bad,

but it could have been a lot worse, but
due to some fancy financial footwork,

I was able to
cut it in half.

Jan is smart.

She poses.

Dwight, how's the
hotel business?

Stupid.

Have you checked
Trip Advisor recently?

No.

Maybe you should.

Maybe you should...
Whatever.

We wrote a good review.
Under "Comments," we wrote,

"The natural aroma of the beets
drifts into the bedrooms

"and makes you dream
of simpler times."

"The dawn goose walk will
tug at your heart strings."

"Table-making
never seemed so possible."

"You will never
want to leave your room."

"The architecture reminds one
of a quaint Tuscan beet farm."

I'm glad you
enjoyed your stay.

We really did.
It was fun.

So due to Michael's
clever financial maneuvering,

he finds himself
tremendously in debt.

You're broke?

How did you get that
from what Oscar said?

How... I mean, Michael,
how did this happen?

Where exactly did
your money go?

I don't... I don't get this.
I really don't. I don't...

I don't understand how you
could be so irresponsible.

I mean, it is
astounding to me, really.

I don't know what
more to say, it's just...

Jan?

Yeah? What?
Michael left.

Okay.
Where did he go?

I don't know.

Well, is he
coming right back?

I don't think so.

I'll be right there.

What am I doing?
I am blowing Dodge.

I'm getting out of town.

Whatever you call it, I am running
away from my responsibilities.

It feels good.

You may ask me
out to dinner.

Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars, no
patios, no vegetables and no seafood.

Dwight?

Did I ever tell you why
I left Scranton?

Yeah, I didn't
think I had.

Well, it was all
about Pam.

Yeah. I mean,
she was with Roy,

and I just
couldn't take it.

I mean,
I lost it, Dwight.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't
concentrate on anything.

And weird stuff,
like food had no taste.

So my solution was
to move away.

It was awful.

And it is something that I
wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

And that includes you.

Hey, I was thinking
about dinner, we...

Dinner. Let's see,
maybe we should try

the new Italian place where
the dry cleaner used to be.

Okay.
Yeah?

Yeah.
Okay.

Jim's just really passionate
about Italian food.

Yeah. I'm very passionate
about Italian food.

In fact, I'm in love
with Italian food.

Jan, he went
running that way.

Okay, great.
Thanks.

Runaway train,
never coming back

Run away
and I'm never coming back

Michael?

Hey, Jan.

What's going on?

Not much.
What's up with you?

Well, why are you
sitting on a train?

Where are you going?

I am out
of answers, Jan.

What does that mean?

I told you.
No more answers.

This is who I am now.

A guy on a train
with no answers.

I hope that can be
enough for you.

Michael, come on.

Running away from your
problems won't solve anything.

You know that.
I don't know that.

Your creditors can follow
you anywhere with ease.

Your debt follows you around
the world, electronically.

I'll stay off the grid.

Michael, come on.

Come on. You can deal with this.
It's not that bad.

Yeah, it is.

It is.
I really messed up.

Well...

When...

When my life fell apart and
they screwed me in New York

and I felt like my whole world was
collapsing around me, I didn't have anyone.

I mean, my whole family still won't even
talk to me on the advice of counsel,

and my friends were just
waiting for this to happen.

That's really
nice of you to say.

Michael, no. What I want to
say is you were there for me,

by my side,

without even a thought.

That's just who you are.

I mean, no matter
how badly I treat you

or what I'm going through, you just...
You are there for me,

and that is a guy
worth staying beside.

So where is this
train taking us?

I...

I think the engineer left.

Hello, this is Dwight Schrute
calling from Dunder Mifflin,

and according to our records, you
appear to be low on office supplies.

Okay. Sure. Yeah. I can take
care of that right now.

Don't sell your
implants, please.

I'm keeping them.
I know you like them.

They're kind of
uncomfortable, though.

It's nice, though. Looks cute.
Kind of painful,

and my nipples aren't as sensitive now.
Looks cute, though.