The Offer (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - A Seat at the Table - full transcript

♪

Bellissimo!

Good to see you.
Good to see you.

Hey, Jim.
Jim, good to see you.

Good to see you.

Hey, Mr. Bonnano,
Mr. Colombo!

What are you doing?
What?

Leave the fucking cannoli.

You're a capo

when you really need
to be a boss.

We gotta get you
your own seat at the table.



It's the only way
we're gonna make change.

Lucchese, Gambino,
those tired fucks,

one of them gotta go.

And you want me
to take care of it?

When the time is right.

With you and me in power,
we can do things

the way they
should be fuckin' done.

- Mr. Colombo.
- Whoa.

Come in, Dominic.
Yeah.

Come on, let him in.
Excuse me, excuse me.

Sorry to interrupt.
I saw you walk by,

and, uh, I brought these...
You don't have to do this.

Look at this.
For you and your friends.

That's beautiful.



Francesca and I
are so grateful.

Good, good, good.

I'm in a meeting right now.

Oh, I'm sorry.
No, no, no.

God bless you, sir.
No, I'll see you in a bit.

God bless you, Mr. Colombo.
Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me.
Excuse me.

The fuck is that?
Oh, he owes.

He, uh--he owns the bakery
over on Grand.

His grandkid's sick,

so I suspended
the interest for six months.

You wanna be a boss,

you better
start acting like one.

You're going soft on me?

It sends a wrong message
showing mercy like that.

No, no, no, I told him if he
doesn't pay me in six months,

I'll kill his whole family.

I'll gut the kid first
and make the family watch.

That's what
I'm talking about.

That's the change we need.

I still don't know
about the seat though.

There's gotta be another way.

Ain't exactly
handing 'em out, Joey.

You want that seat?

You gotta take it.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

Top of the morning, Bobby.
Good morning, Mr. Evans.

Morning, Mr. Evans.
Hey, babies.

♪

Julie, baby, welcome back.

♪

Good morning, Mr. Evans.
Good morning.

Hey.
Hey, Bob.

Those rushes
looked great last night.

You're doing such a good job.
You keep it up.

Watch that budget, though.
Evans!

Johnny Potatoes!
Whoo!

You're looking good, man.
You like that, huh?

I just came down to tell you.

Hank can't fucking direct
his way out of a paper bag.

But you, star,

you're knocking it
out of the park.

♪

Good morning, Bob.

Well, it should be,
and it would be, Peter,

if I didn't have to watch
the rushes

for "Tarzan and the Jungle Boy"
last night.

My God, what a turd.

But the sun is shining.
It's still a good day.

What do we got?
Hit me.

Bluhdorn is having trouble
wrapping his head

around Eastwood
starring in a musical.

- He wants to talk.
- Neil Simon called.

He says it's gotta be Lemmon,

but Lemmon will only do it
if Matthau's in it,

and he wants 300,000
for the picture,

and Bluhdorn says quote,
"Under no circumstances

are we paying anyone $300,000
to star in anything." Unquote.

He said a few other things.

Don't be scared.
What did he say?

He said he's got a fire poker
with your name on it,

if you need
a better illustration

of the studio's finances.

Huh.

All right, take a deep breath.
This is what you're gonna do.

Peter, you're gonna send
a copy of Clint's album

"Cowboy Favorites" to Bluhdorn.
That's gonna change his tune.

Now, Sheila, you can tell him--
you tell Charlie Bluhdorn

that he can save his poker
for opening night

because if that film
is anything like the play,

"The Odd Couple"
it's gonna save this studio,

and I'll bend over for him
if it doesn't.

Thank you, Sheila.
Peter, you stay.

♪

Hey, Ruddy,
I'm not paying you to read.

Those contracts need to be on
my desk by the end of the day.

They were on your desk
this morning.

Good.

Ruddy, you're making
the rest of us look bad.

Dave, you're doing
a great job of that

all on your own, buddy.

♪

Uh, nice car, sir.

You'd be surprised
what a paint job will do.

Or a blow torch.

Hey, Ruddy!

Mitch,
sorry I'm late, buddy.

Had a hard time
finding the place.

After a year in L.A.,

who doesn't know
where the Chateau is?

Just try not to impress
too many girls

with that shirt tonight, Ruddy.

What?
I came straight from work.

Still lost on me what you do.

It's contracts or something,
right?

I've told you 13 times.

You really think this
is gonna be the time it sticks?

That's a good point.
Let's grab a drink.

♪

♪

Wendy.

♪ I'm not content to
be with you in the day time ♪

♪

♪ Girl, I want to be with you
all of the time ♪

♪

♪ The only time I feel
all right is by your side ♪

I was wondering where the
beautiful, cool cats had gone.

Here they all are.
How's it going?

Darling.

Yeah, Bob, nice to see you.
Nice to see you.

Hey, who is that guy?

Bob Evans, head of Paramount.

Guy's more connected than God,

and yeah, he's always that tan.

Nikita, you don't want
to miss this bus, baby.

Let's do it.
Come on.

♪

Everyone, this is
my neighbor, Al Ruddy.

How are you?
Hey.

Any friend of Mitch's
is a friend of mine.

Okay.

♪

You sure
you're just a TV writer?

I'm in the wrong
fucking business.

♪

What am I doing wrong?
Nobody came.

Mario, this is the best thing
you've written.

Six years wasted.

"The Fortunate Pilgrim"
was my mother's story.

Uh, you know, I...

I thought the world
would identify with it.

Three people came
and--and no one bought a book.

I don't even know
what to write anymore.

People perked up listening to
the part about the mafia guy.

Oh, yeah, great.

That was, like,
three paragraphs.

Well, did you
ever think about

writing a mafia book
with more than that?

I spent my childhood
hiding from those gangsters.

I--I--you know, Hell's Kitchen
was chock full of 'em.

So write what you know.

So they can
put a bullet in my head?

Just think about it.

21 Club, please.

Anthony.

Yeah.

You know, you owe our friend
a thousand dollars.

Yeah, uh, uh, you know,

I--I have, uh, 40.

Take that.

Oh.

How much do we owe?

You don't wanna know.

I thought this book
was the one.

We'd be able
to pay 'em back and...

So what are gonna do, Mario?

Candida wants me
to write about the mafia.

I married you because
you're an artist, not a hack.

Hacks sell books.

They can pay for the education
of their kids.

Hacks don't borrow money
from guys

you shouldn't
borrow money from.

How much do we owe?

Five Gs to two bookies.

A few grand to the bank,

not including
what I owe my brother.

Fuck art, Mario.
Start typing.

You want me to write
about the mafia?

Yeah.

How do I tell that story
any differently?

Everybody knows they steal.

They control gambling,
they run whores, unions.

Okay, so maybe it's not
just a book about the mafia.

What do you mean?

Well, the guys
you grew up with,

they didn't start out
so different from you.

Immigrants.
They eat, they drink,

they love, they cry,

they worry about
their kids' futures

just like us.

And they kill.

Okay,
so maybe we don't kill.

But maybe this book

is about
finding the reason we would.

♪

♪

♪

Have a beautiful night.

Hey.
Hey.

Hi.
Hi, guys.

How are you?
Nice. Enjoying?

I'm back. I'm back.
Whatever he said, he's lying.

- How we doing?
- I'm good.

Okay, so now
you look interesting.

Are you interesting?
Depends on the company.

Hmm, that's a good answer.

Who's your friend, Mitch?

Françoise Glazer,
this is my neighbor, Al Ruddy.

Mm.
What do you do?

- Programming.
- Programming.

What network?

I program computers
for the Rand Corporation.

Still have no idea
what that means.

The Rand Corporation?

I'm impressed.

That's defense work.

Secret.
It's not top secret.

What about you, what do you do?

She owns the ground
you're sitting on, my friend.

The hotel?

You're surprised?

You think a woman
can't run a business?

I was raised
by a single mother.

She could've run anything.

You see?
He doesn't hate his mother

like all you comedy writers.

Come on.
Come on.

Oh, you write comedy too?
Uh, no.

You watch "Sgt. Bilko"?
Yeah, I love "Bilko."

I play Gomez.

You know, I thought
you looked familiar.

I'm a hell of a comedy fan.

The way these shows
tell their stories,

it's like a formula,
and in a good way.

A formula?
Think about it.

"Bilko," "McHale's Navy,"
even "My Favorite Martian,"

right, they're
the same cast of characters

in similar situations

with just enough difference
to be interesting.

That's kind of true, Mitch.

If you really wanna upset
the apple cart,

put your cast of characters
where you least expect them

to be in a comedy,
somewhere that isn't safe.

That's how you
make it stand out.

If it were really that easy,

every Tom, Dick, and Ruddy
would do it.

I didn't mean any offense.

Hey, uh, you seem to have

a hell of an instinct
for all these shows.

I mean, you wanna
talk shop sometime?

I could send you some scripts.

You could see
how they all lay out.

That'd be great.

But, hey, I'm just a guy
who programs computers.

All evidence to the contrary.

♪ I love you
more than anything ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, mm-hmm

♪ As long as you
treat me right ♪

♪

You found it.

Oh, boy.
Mm-hmm.

It's not about a gang.

It's about a gangster's family.

Oh.
Hmm?

The oldest son is a hothead.

The middle son is sweet,
but he's weak,

and the younger son
is a war hero

who wants nothing to do
with the family business.

Okay.

But the Don wants this son,

call him Michael...

Mm-hmm.
Hmm?

Wants him to rise above
the family business

and become a--a senator,
you know, someone powerful,

but Michael's destiny
won't let him escape

the power of Don Vito Corleone.

Who's the Don?

He's what Sicilians call

the godfather of gangsters.

Oh.
Huh?

He's, uh,
the head of the family.

Oh.

And my title.

"The Godfather"?
Mm-hmm.

I like it.

Okay.

All right,
it's not written yet.

"The Godfather." Hmm.

So come on.
What do you wanna pitch?

We could do rags to riches
or fish out of water.

I mean, Bernie, I don't
even know what a pitch is.

Don't even know
what a pitch is.

Uh, we just
go into the network,

tell 'em about our idea.

You know, what it's about,
the characters,

what stories
we tell week to week.

That's it.
That's the pitch.

Look, all these execs
want to see is that

they can put
a hundred episodes in the can.

Okay, so maybe we go with

what you've hit with,
a military comedy.

Eh, there's already
"McHale's Navy,"

"F Troop," "Gomer Pyle."

They're gonna wanna
see something new.

"McHale" and "Gomer's"
are peacetime stories.

Nobody's set a military comedy
during wartime.

Let's do something
about what you know, hmm?

Workplace comedy set
at a defense contractor.

It's not inherently funny.
Trust me, I live it.

Not to you.

Hey, you ever seen
"Stalag 17"

with William Holden?
Mm-hmm.

American POWs.
It's a Billy Wilder thing.

It's great characters, man.

I mean,
it's set up for a comedy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, war equals death.
Hey, let's do this.

Let's sell the Rand comedy,
and after that,

we can sell
the army comedy, hmm?

Ruddy, just relax, okay?
You're making me nervous.

Yeah, well, we fuck this up,
you go back to making TV.

I go back to Rand
where the soul goes to die.

Goodbye, Miss Taylor.

Holy shit.
That's Elizabeth Taylor.

♪

Gentleman,
Mr. Paley will see you now.

♪

And so these two bachelors

at the Rand Corporation,

they're actually peaceniks.

They're using company computers
to program for peace

instead of war.

There's a lot of
good stuff in here.

People are gonna love it.

We call it "Modern Warfare."

Mm, interesting idea.

You got anything else?

"Bilko," swastikas.
Swastikas, "Bilko."

You think Nazis are funny?

Imagine Bilko
as a pilot, right?

He's a colonel,
and he's fighting in the war.

He gets shot down over Germany
and taken prisoner.

Mr. Ruddy,
I don't think this is--

Now, our colonel, he knows
exactly how to escape,

but he never does.

None of the prisoners do
because he's leading

an allied group inside the camp
to help the resistance.

The camp commandant,
he is a guy named Klink.

Now, he's got a reputation

of being the toughest guy
in the SS,

but actually
he's a fucking idiot.

Yeah, and there's
this big fat sergeant,

uh, Sergeant Schultz.

And he's always
walking in on their plans,

but he likes the guys,
they're nice to him,

so he turns a blind eye.

I see nothing.

I hear nothing.
I know nothing.

There's a French prisoner.
Guy's a gourmet chef,

and he feeds the guard dogs

so that
they love the prisoners.

Eh, this is for you,

my little chienne.

That's a good boy.
That's a good boy.

Are there any women
in the show?

Oh, yeah, there's a woman,
and not just any woman.

Oh, boys, Helga,
she is an Amazon, right?

I mean, sexy German secretary.

"Oh, Guten Tag,
mein little Liebchen!"

Hey, and she might even
have an eye for our colonel.

Yeah, so she's in on
all their schemes.

What do you call this thing?

"Hogan's Heroes."

Have you pitched this
anywhere else?

♪

Don't.

'Cause we're buying it.

♪

"I'll make him
an offer he can't refuse."

Great line.
Yeah.

It's fun, isn't it?
It's special, Mario.

The Frank Sinatra,
Johnny Fontane character?

Great.

Maybe Sinatra will play him
in the movie, hmm?

Should we call Paramount?

Mario, just because
they optioned it early,

it doesn't mean
it's gonna get made.

Yeah.

Let's make sure
it gets published first.

They say to me,
you can make "Love Story,"

which we agree,

greatest love story
of all time.

But the girl
has to live at the end.

Can you fucking believe that?

Yeah, the death
is what makes it work.

Yes.
Look at "Romeo and Juliet."

Not the same story
if they'd lived.

God, no.

We feel the pain of the loss,
feel the grief.

We feel pity.
We--we cry.

I'll make the movie, Bob,
but only if she dies.

You are preaching
to the choir, babe.

Look, you make "Love Story,"

and I will give you
total creative control.

And final cut.
And a back end that's real.

We got a chance
to make a huge hit here.

I only make two decisions,
all right?

Hiring you, yes.

Secondly, casting Ali MacGraw.

Bob, I don't know
if I'm comfortable

with hiring your girlfriend.

One of the best actresses
of our time.

Trust me, my friend,
I've seen her up close.

And so should you,
that's all I'm saying.

Sheila, could you send in
our guest, please?

What is this?

Ali MacGraw,
meet Arthur Hiller.

I'm so excited
to be working with you.

Me too.

You two are gonna
make magic together.

I'll let you get acquainted.

I saw your most recent film.

- I loved it.
- Thank you so much.

Sheila,

I'm good.

♪

Lucchese and Gambino
got here about ten minutes ago.

♪

Sinatra's crying to everyone
but the Pope

about this book
that's about to come out:

"The Godfather."

Giving me a fucking headache.

'Cause there's
a character in it

that's supposed to be
a real fighetta,

and everyone thinks it's him.

How'd you know that?

I read it somewhere.

I just have
to use the bathroom.

What have we got here?

He said it was important
to the commission.

♪ I remember

♪ That night in May

♪ The stars
were bright above ♪

♪ I'll hope

♪ And I'll pray

♪ To keep

♪ Your precious love

♪ Well, before the light

♪ Hold me again
TOMMY:

♪ With all of your might

♪ In the still of the night

Sit down, Joe.
Have a drink.

You're making me nervous
standing like that.

Sit down, Joe.

I've been offered a seat
at the commission table.

My own family.

Well, nobody told me
about that.

Well, it's supposed to be

the last thing
you'll ever hear.

Bonanno.

He came to me a while back,

talking about making changes.

That's what he thinks
I'm doing here right now.

But I'm here to tell you
so you can deal with it

the way the commission chooses.

And then you take
Bonanno's seat at the table?

Well, that's not up to me.
That's up to you.

Hey, I'm an ambitious guy,

but not at the price of
my loyalty to what we do here,

to you and the rest
of the commission.

I respect whatever you decide.

Good night, gentlemen.

Let's go.

Bonanno, he's gotta go.

You maniacs!

You blew it up!

God damn you!

God damn you all to hell!

Uh, are we moving in?

This.

This is what it's all about.

What, monkeys?

No, the excitement,
the thrill.

I mean, did you
hear them at the end?

Yes, uh, that--
that was a great ending.

No, no,
it's not just about the ending,

it's--it's about
the experience of it.

You got 300 people
all watching the same thing,

reacting in real time,

just feeding off each other.

You can't get that experience
in television.

You're just
in your living room,

looking at a small
fucking box.

It's just a different game.

Five years of "Hogan's"
and you can make

all the money you'd ever need.

Five years of "Hogan's,"

I'm gonna shoot myself
in the face.

Hmm.
Yeah.

They showed us
the writer's room

at CBS last week.
Mm.

It was like an exact
fucking replica of Rand.

It can't just be
about the money.

At first, I thought it was,
this whole Hollywood thing,

but...

my mother,

she was a tough broad,

and she never showed emotion
ever about anything,

except at the movies.

That was the only time
I ever saw my mother cry.

I mean, you can't put a price
on that experience.

I mean, that's magic, baby.

I need to be in the movies.

So what do you know
about producing film?

What do I know
about producing TV?

Good point.

Let's go.

You coming?

♪

Sir.

♪

I'm having a party
Saturday night,

and if you're not there,

well, I'm just gonna send
everybody home,

even Jack and Warren.

Huh?

Nicholson and Beatty.

Ooh, you're gonna love them.

And, uh, bathing suits
are optional.

Barry, what are you doing here?

I hate to interrupt
your little soiree,

- but we had a meeting.
- Oh, relax, Barry.

Have a drink before you have
a heart attack, right, girls?

It's 9:00 in the morning.

Coffee, black.
Give us a minute.

I'm sorry.
Every party needs a pooper.

How you doing, Barry?
Bob.

Thank you.

I got off the phone
with Charlie.

He's livid.

Paramount has fallen back
to eight out of nine.

Let me guess.

He's up your ass about
"Paint Your Wagon" overages.

Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood

should be shooting people,
not singing!

That's entertainment.

And what's
with the "Love Story"?

The girl dies at the end?
Who wants to see that?

It's his studio.

Look, I'm not gonna beat
around the bush.

We need hits.

You can't live off of
"Rosemary's Baby" forever.

Barry, did you--
did you read "Love Story"?

Yes.

Why?

Did it move you?

What does that have to do
with anything?

The audience
needs to be moved, Barry.

That's how you make
hit pictures.

Times are changing,
and we need to keep up.

That's why I got the job
in the ivory tower

and you don't.

If you don't string together
some hits,

that ivory tower of yours
is going to come crashing down.

Oh, ye of such little faith.

Bottoms up, Barry.

Bob Evans.
I'm Al Ruddy.

I wanted to talk to you.
You got a minute?

I'm fairly certain
we don't have a meeting,

but you knew that already,
didn't you?

How'd you get on the lot?

Ain't exactly Fort Knox.
Fair enough.

What can I do for you,
Mr. Ruddy?

It's what I can do for you.

I wanna produce for Paramount.

You told a good story once.

Ballsy of you to walk away
from "Hogan's Heroes."

So you do know who I am?
I know who everyone is, kid.

Look, you know what
a producer does, Mr. Ruddy?

They do whatever it takes
to get their movie made.

Now, what makes you think

that you're qualified
to do that, huh?

You know, I read
an article in "Variety,"

said that you started out
selling ladies' slacks

and doing bit parts in movies,
but you still figured it out.

Don't--don't--
don't call them bit parts

when you're kissing
someone's ass.

I work with Jimmy fucking
Cagney, my friend,

toe-to-toe.

So unknown computer guy

creates CBS's hit comedy
about Nazis.

Go figure.

All right.
All right.

You do remind me of me,
and I'm a sentimental guy,

and you caught me
on a good day.

Let's set a lunch, Mr. Ruddy.

Talk about your future.

What producers
have you worked for?

You'll be my first.

I've worked in legal
for three years

and then saw this job posted.

Well, then, I guess, uh,
we both have a lot to learn.

Thanks.

Thank you.
We'll let you know.

I thought
he just gave me the job.

Oh, no, sweetie.

That was just
his Valium talking.

You are dodging a bullet here.

You can thank me later.
Exit's that way.

Thank you.

All right, bye.

You're Albert Ruddy.

Who are you?

Bettye McCartt.

Bernie Fein sent me.

Bernie.

It's nice to meet you, Bettye,
but I'm sorry.

I just hired somebody.

That little mouse?
Yeah.

No.
Yeah.

No.

Let me take you on a tour.

Come on.

I don't bite.

That spot
is hallowed fucking ground.

You're not even
paying attention to it.

Look.

The guard gate?

That is where Gloria Swanson

drove onto the lot
in "Sunset Boulevard."

Because she thought
Cecil B. DeMille

wanted to make
her version of "Salome."

When all he actually wanted

was her fucking car.
Fucking car.

Oh, you see that door?

That is the secret entrance
where Adolph Zukor,

who's the founder of Paramount,

it's where he used to sneak
his little starlets

into his office.

Oh.
Ooh.

It's hallowed ground, man.
Hallowed ground.

Ladies, it's time.
Come on, let's go.

Seriously, what's your story?

It's not
terribly interesting.

Worked for Rand Corporation
before "Hogan's."

Architect before that.

Those are both steady gigs.

Why'd you walk away?

Because I could, I guess.

So, Bettye, what's your story?

It's not
terribly interesting.

I'm divorced, opinionated.

The latter most likely
the cause of the former.

Okay,
let's get ready for picture.

Walk it up.
I love the movies.

My mom used to take me
every Saturday.

Even when she couldn't make
the rent.

Single mother?
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, me too.

Still go every Saturday?

Yes, I do.

I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

How long is your
deal here for, Al?

A year.
What, really?

That is not long enough
to start from scratch.

We have to find a script
that's been overlooked.

Places, everybody!
I want to feel some energy!

Well, then
we'd better get started.

Yeah?

Let's watch this take first.

Quiet on set!

"The New York Times'"
Dick Schaap,

"What Philip Roth
did for masturbation,

Puzo does for murder."

"The Post,"
"A searing portrayal

of the mafia underworld."

I'll lay odds that you're gonna
be signing more than 30 books.

♪

Bob, I found something
you're gonna love.

Jesus, Ruddy!
Knock.

It's all right, Sheila.

What was the best scene
in "The Great Escape"?

I don't have time
for party games.

It's McQueen's
motorcycle jump.

Yeah, true.
So what?

I found a great script.
It's about motorcycle racers.

And chicks?
Yeah, and chicks.

It's called
"Little Fauss and Big Halsy."

It's perfect for McQueen.
Oh, forget McQueen.

For Christ's sake, he's making
his own racing movie,

"Le Mans."

Who else you got in mind?

You need a star, kid.

Robert Redford.

Redford?
Yeah, great idea.

You get me Redford,

you do it for a million five
all-in,

you got yourself a go picture.

Thanks, Bob.

Sure, yeah, yeah.

Evans is messing
with you, Al.

Redford will never do this
for a million five all-in.

How do you know?
How is it that you don't?

I don't know. I'm new at this.
Work with me here.

Well, if anyone knows
what Redford's up to,

it'll be Stevie Phillips.
Who's he?

She is his agent.

You gotta know
these things, Al.

Stevie Phillips please.

This is Al Ruddy
calling from Paramount

in regards to a project
for Robert Redford.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes, I'll tell him.
Thank you.

Stevie says to call back
when you have more than

"Hogan's Heroes"
under your belt.

Pass.
So we go around her.

That's not how things
are done, Al.

I don't give a fuck
how things are done.

Redford's not in town.

He's shooting "Butch Cassidy"
outside San Pedro, Mexico.

Find out
the most expensive hotel there.

That'll be where
Redford's staying.

And then book me a flight.

You are certifiable.

♪

Hey, buddy.
I'm looking for Redford.

And who are you?
Producer of his next film.

He said he wanted
to speak to me.

Okay, just--
just wait right there.

Action!
Butch and Sundance, go!

And cavalry, go!

All right.
Cut, cut, cut.

All right.
Great, all right.

Let's get set up
for the next shot.

Let's go, people!
Let's go.

We're burning daylight!

So this is the guy?

- Producer of my next film, huh?
- That's right.

Who the hell are you?
Al Ruddy with Paramount.

Huh, Paramount.

Okay, so?

So?

It's a great
Charles Eastman script.

Motorcycles and chicks.
You're gonna love it.

Well, you didn't come
all the way down here

to tell me that.

Yeah, Bob, I did.

Well, you could have called.
Paramount's suing me.

That's why I didn't do
"Rosemary's Baby."

Could've saved you the hassle.

What if I could get you
out of that lawsuit?

You have the authority
to do that?

Yeah, I do...

If you do the movie.

Well, first things first,

how about you and I
go get drunk later?

You tell me who you are
and why I should work with you.

Great.
I'm buying.

No shit.

Yeah.

Ruddy.

"Little Faus and Big Hals."

"Fauss and Halsy."

Ah.

Evans is in this for himself,
not for Gulf and Western.

I give you the reins,

and the problems,
they just magically disappear?

Ah, there's
my favorite Austrian.

I missed this place.
Nice touch, Evans.

Ask and you shall receive.

Been a while since you've
visited the studio, Barry.

Well, that's because
I've been in New York

actually making money
for the company.

Can you say the same?
Play nice, children.

Charlie,
you know Ann-Margret, right?

Of course.
One of the greats.

Good to see you, Charlie.

A glass?
From you? Sure.

Thank you, honey.

I would love to stay and chat,
but I'm wanted on set.

I'll see you soon?
You count on it.

This way,
Miss Margret.

Evans, you are
completely transparent.

Well put.

And I love it!

Cheers.
Help yourself, Barry.

Oh, and, uh, lighten up.

Come on, Cheese.

Ann-Margret
and two flutes of champagne

is not gonna erase
ninth place, Evans.

It's as if every
new Paramount picture

comes with
its own death rattle.

News flash,
you approved them too, Barry.

Jack Warner
on line one for Mr. Bluhdorn.

Jesus. Uh...

Put him through.

Ah, ah, ah.

I don't pick up first.

Jack Warner
doesn't wait on the line.

Neither do I.

You wait for Jack Warner.

Everybody does.
He invented this business.

Uh, Paramount,
holding for Mr. Warner.

Hold please.

Bluhdorn.

Are you there?

Bob Evans, Mr. Warner.
How you doing?

I got Charlie here with me.

Charlie,
you own "The Godfather."

You doing anything with it?

No.
Yes.

Well?

We haven't decided.

It's an uncut gem.

Could be a crown jewel.

I've been making
gangster movies

since they were silent.

We know how to make
this work, Charlie.

I'll buy it today
for a million.

Take it.

We'll think about it.

You do that.

I won't wait forever.

What does he know
that I don't?

He knows that there's
movie gold in that book,

which is why we took
a cheap, early option

on the first 60 pages, $15,000,

and that book has been at
number one for the past year.

Barry, why didn't
I know about this?

Yeah.
Why, Barry?

Because our last
gangster movie

was a sugarless turd.

Yeah, because Kirk Douglas

is a goyish Jew
playing an Italian.

We're not gonna make
that mistake again.

Charlie, gangster movies
are dead.

All right? It's a new world.

"James Bond," "Funny Girl,"

that's what people want to see.

Jack Warner, he offers me
a million, we can get three.

Help cover some losses.

Unless I'm missing something.

Evans, what do you see
in this book?

I'll tell you what I see.

I see...money.

This picture can make
Paramount number one, Charlie.

I feel it.
I feel it.

My kishkehs are screaming.

That book's all
anyone's talking about.

Now, you get the right hands
at the wheel

and this could become
a cultural phenomenon,

the likes
we've never seen before,

like "Rosemary's Baby"

but bigger.

A million dollar return

on an investment
of fifteen grand?

We're not gonna get
a better offer.

It's only a million.

Thank you, Charlie.

The bookstore
in Little Italy,

"The Godfather."

58 weeks at number one.

'Cause of the tourists.

Well,
it makes us look stupid.

Like--you know, like a joke.

And that's bad for business.

Sinatra isn't wrong
about this one.

We're here tonight
to acknowledge

Joseph Anthony Colombo,

capo to the Profaci Family.

In recognition for his loyalty
to the commission,

Joe, you have earned a seat
at the table amongst us.

To the Colombo Family.

May you live a long life
with prosperity.

Salute!

Salute!

♪

Some opening weekend.

It's the studio.

They didn't spend enough
on advertising.

That's all.

It's the movie,
not the marketing.

Trust me.

All right.
What are you in the mood for?

I'll take you
anywhere you want.

Nah, honey, I can't.
I gotta get home.

Got a stack of scripts
I need to go through

if I'm gonna
find my next project.

Right now?
Yeah.

I thought we were
going to dinner.

You okay
if we get something to go?

If you tell me
what's really going on

in that head of yours.

I'm just scared to lose this,
producing,

and I've never really
felt that before.

Dan Tana's to-go?

Sure.

♪

His secretary say what Evans
wanted to see me about?

No.
But he likes you, Al.

He's probably just checking in
to find out what's next.

My film tanked.
What if he fires me?

Then I'm fired too.

Shit! Hey!

Do not get fired.

Yeah?

Where's the chocolate, man?

I mean,
I don't see any chocolate.

It's a chocolate factory,
right?

You see where
I'm going with this.

Absolutely,
it's devoid of chocolate.

Ruddy, pack your bags.
You're outta here.

Fuck.

New York.
You got a meeting

with Charlie Bluhdorn
first thing in the morning.

What, you thought
you were fired?

That's sweet.

You're not out
of the woods, but, you know.

Okay, yeah.
What--whatever you need.

But, uh, why am I doing this?

You've read
"The Godfather," right?

"The Godfather"?
Sure, who hasn't?

I mean, you've read it.

It's--it's great.
I love it.

Well, you are officially now

Paramount's
low budget specialist.

We've been all over town.

No one wants to make this movie
for four million dollars,

so I need you to produce it.

Get going.

Nice.

And, Ruddy...

Don't fuck it up.

You get 'em?

I can't believe you told him
you read it.

What else was I gonna say?

You better read fast
on the plane.

Fuck, that's big.

♪

It's about an American family.

Bluhdorn is Austrian.
Make it universal.

"The Godfather"
is a Greek tragedy

about an Italian family.

You say the word "tragedy"
to Charlie, and he says,

"The only tragedy of my life
is that I bought Paramount."

Okay,
it's a story about immigrants.

Everybody in America
comes from immigrants.

It's a universal story.
You're overthinking it.

Bluhdorn is famous
for being direct.

He speaks like a telegram.

So just be a telegram.

Thanks.

♪

Al Ruddy for Charlie Bluhdorn.

This way.

Al Ruddy.

♪

Americans.

♪

Crime leads to murder
under the...

♪

Holden, you're fired.
Look at the seventh one.

Location, what is that?

Shut up, I don't want
to know what you think!

So you're the genius
that Evans wants

to produce the film
that we should not be making?

You, stay.

Ah.

So tell me, Al Ruddy,

what are you gonna do
with this fucking book?

What?
Is he deaf?

I'm going to make
an ice-blue, terrifying film

about people you love.

That is brilliant!

You, come.

What just happened?

Congratulations.

You're the producer
of "The Godfather."

♪

Ice-blue, baby.

Well, hello
to the ice-blue,

terrifying man of the hour.

Nobody understands
what that means,

but he loved it. Well done.

Now, I wanna talk to you
about writers.

William Goldman, great.
Waldo Salt, excellent.

Look, Bob,
they're great writers,

but we need
a fresh perspective.

We need someone
who understands Italians.

I wanna talk to Puzo.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Puzo's never written a film.

It's an unwritten law
in Hollywood

that you never hire the author.

They'll turn in
a 500-page first draft

a year fucking late.

Yeah, but he's the guy
with the original idea.

It's at least worth a meeting.

Look, I'm gonna talk to him
while I'm here in New York,

and if I think he's the guy,
will you back me?

Fuck no,
but it's your call.

Everything all right?

When was the last time
you made love in a pool?

Al, I was born
to write this screenplay.

Well, the studio
doesn't believe

that an author
can adapt his own novel.

Then why are you here?

Because I told him.

I said,
"Who knows it better than you?"

Now, look, the movie's in here,
but you gotta carve it away.

Can you do that?

Thank you.

Mario,
he asked you a question.

All right, look.

Fresh start.

But I have to be the one
to write this.

This is my story.

The Corleones are my family.

Can you deliver
a quick draft?

What's quick?

Three months.

You let me do this,

I'll do it in three days.

Who can argue with that?

Three days.
I'm gonna hold you to that.

Hold on, hold on.

I will let you take my husband,

but you must promise me,
Mario has diabetes.

- Oh, Erika, please.
- No. No.

- Stop, now, come on.
- Listen.

- You must watch his diet.
- Stop, stop.

He eats crap.

He needs to lose weight.

Lock up the food.
No pizza.

No ice cream.
No ice cream.

No donuts.

You must swear
a blood oath to this.

Hon, he's a Jew.

Ooh.

He can't swear
a Catholic blood oath.

I volunteer to swear.

Thank you, see?

L'chaim.

♪

So the studio got me
a whole house to write in?

No, I got you the house.
They're just paying for it.

Mr. Ruddy.
Nice to see you again.

Good evening, sir.

Your table will be ready
in a few minutes.

Thanks, Marco.

Yeah, it's not a bad night.

What'd I miss?
What'd I miss?

- I got a drink.
- That's Frank Sinatra.

Fucking Frank Sinatra!

Amazing.

I'm in the same room
with Sinatra.

Look, Puzo, Chasen's is not
a celebrity petting zoo, okay?

Now, stay here.
I gotta pee.

Please, sir, this way.

Sir--sir?

Mr. Sinatra?
Yeah?

You have given me
and--and my family

and my late sainted mother
so much pleasure.

That's very kind of you
to say so.

It's fans like you
that keep me going.

You know, from--from
one artist to another,

you teach the world
about true emotion.

You're Mario Puzo?
You know me?

Yeah, I know who you are.

You're the ratfink
who wrote that fucking book

about the degenerate singer.

You know, I--I've been
an admirer of yours

since I was a kid.

Well, I can't choose my fans,

especially ones that make up
a story that insults Italians

and a singer, world-famous,
who's a disgusting pervert

and a faithless friend
of criminals.

Johnny Fontane
is a fictional character.

You find me one book review
in any language in the world

that does not refer
to the singer Johnny Fontaine

as having been based
on Frank Sinatra.

Now, get the fuck out
of my sight

before I have Jilly here
smack some respect into you.

I will not be threatened
by anyone, okay?

Including you, Mr. Sinatra.

Oh, you wanna cross me,
you fat fuck, huh?

Hey, hey!
Huh?

Hey!
No, no, no, no, no.

No, not today.
Hey, come on.

Get out of here,
you fat fuck.

Get the fuck out of here
before I smack you myself.

Get him the fuck out of here.

- Sorry, Frank.
- Take it easy.

Choke on it.

Sorry about that.

Sorry, folks.
Go back to eating.

Evans is fucking pissed,

and he's got every right to be.

Sinatra and Puzo
are gonna hit the trades.

My greatest achievement
so far as a producer

is that Frank Sinatra
is mad at me.

Well, that's more than
most people can say, no?

I fucked it up, baby.

Mais non.

It was just starting
to go well too.

You know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna find
our own "Great Escape."

So we're gonna start
with breakfast

at Les Deux Magots.

Then we're gonna do
steak frites at Brasserie Lipp.

You like steak frites.

And then we're gonna spend
the afternoon making love.

That's what were gonna do.

Paris, huh?

For one week.

Babe, all of your problems,
I can assure you,

they're still gonna be here
when you get back,

but your head will be clear.

I can't, baby.
I gotta stay.

Okay.

♪

Fuck.

Mario, what's going on, man?

I, uh--

I can't do this.

I'm a novelist.

It takes me six years to write.

What happened
to Mr. Three Days?

Every time I sit down
to that typewriter,

there's a blank page
laughing at me.

I don't know why
I did this to myself.

I mean, I'm a--

I'm a--I'm a failure...No, you're not.

At something that
I already made a success.

I don't even know
where to begin.

The book starts
with a wedding.

The movie probably should too.

Trust yourself
and write that scene.

Movie scenes are abbreviations.

They're snapshots.

While the wedding
is going on in the garden,

the bride's father is in
the office handing out favors.

You wanna write it?

It's been weeks, and Puzo
hasn't written a single word.

Evans warned you
about hiring the novelist.

Peter, we couldn't
find anybody else.

The agencies won't touch us.
Not for a writer, a director.

Ah, the town
wants this project to die

to humiliate Evans for taking
a chance on the Rand guy

who sold his first pitch
in the room.

"Rand guy."
It's not just you, Ruddy.

Talent is scared of doing
a gangster movie

after the last three bombed.

So how do we fix it?

Francis Ford Coppola.
He's brilliant.

He wrote the script
for "Patton"

and probably gonna be nominated
for an Oscar.

Now, he might do this,
but he'll want to direct.

Evans will need
to be talked into it.

It's worth taking a shot.
It's a great idea.

Coppola owes Warners money,

and he has a very expensive
setup in San Francisco.

How do you know that?

A girl never
reveals her secrets.

You should give him a call.

No.
Send Coppola the book.

Tell him I'm on the way.
Done.

Did you tell him
to come to me?

It was a good idea.
Yeah, I got a lot of those.

How embarrassing for you.

I--I left you
a message not to come.

Uh, I'm passing
on "The Godfather."

I got the message,

but I respect you
and what you stand for,

so I came to hear
the reason why.

Ah, okay, uh, as an Italian,

I don't want to
glorify mafia violence.

I agree with you.
You're right.

I mean, how do you glorify men
who cut the head off a horse

and put it in a producer's bed?

Yes, that producer...

Deserved it.

Yes, he did.
It was a hell of a scene.

And Sonny gunned down
at a toll booth.

Or Michael seeing
his wife's car bombed in Sicily

after the wedding,
I mean, priceless.

Francis, let me be candid.

You're in director jail.

And the only movie I produced,
like your last movie,

didn't exactly
set the world on fire.

And in spite of that,
here I am,

producer of the hottest novel
in the world,

and I'm begging you
to take it on.

You're a true artist.

We need that.

You help Mario Puzo
finish this script,

we'll get you back
on the floor.

Are you telling me
that Bob Evans

is gonna let me
direct this film?

It's not up to Bob.
It's up to you.

Francis Ford Coppola will
help Puzo finish the script.

Well, he's a great writer, man.
Smart move.

He didn't, um, hustle you
to let him direct?

No, I hustled him.

Look, we need
an Italian to do this.

He's got a great vision,

but, uh, he could
tell you about it himself.

Francis.

Hello, Bob.

Hey, Francis.

How you been?

He wanted to tell you
a little bit about

what he's got in mind
for "The Godfather."

Oh, I'm listening.
I'm all ears.

Okay.

So why is it
that "The Godfather"

is selling more copies
than the Bible?

You think it's about
the drug trade

in 1946 New York City?
Not at all.

It's a metaphor
for American capitalism.

The American dream.

The mythic battle
for control, okay?

What is our opening line?

"I believe in America."

How perfect is that?

And what is America
to this undertaker?

It's a land of opportunity,

and it's a justice system
that has failed him.

It's Shakespeare.
It's Greek.

Biblical. Epic.

Evil versus evil.

Fun.

"The Godfather"
is a story about men,

and they come together,
and they form a bond,

and they find justice
through loyalty,

not the fucking law.

But at its core,

this is a story about family.

That's the secret sauce.

That is what has captured
the hearts

and minds of the whole world.

You read it and you say,
"That's my family."

That's your family.

For Paramount,
it's the Corleone family.

I know how to make this film.

You need an Italian
to tell this tale.

Four million all-in

not including prints and ads,
I can do that.

And, uh, he told me
to say that last part.

So that's it.

That's my pitch.

That's great, Francis.

That is great stuff.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'm going to leave
you gentlemen to it.

I'm sure that
we will be talking soon.

Thanks, buddy.
Good stuff.

Nice fucking ambush.

Jesus, taking a leaf out
of my playbook.

You don't like the rules much,
do you, Ruddy?

I don't know the rules.

Well, I guess it looks like
you got yourself a director.

Nice work, kiddo.

Nice work.

Tell me, how are
Nate's figures wrong again?

That's two weeks in a row.
Send someone to see...

All right, listen up.

The fucking book
is still number one,

and now they're making
a movie of it.

Well, I ain't gonna
see it, boss.

The Jews got the JDL.

The Blacks got the NAACP.

But who defends us,
the Italians?

Nobody.
Nobody.

Well, I'm starting.

Beginning now,

the Italian-American
Civil Rights League.

No gagootz is gonna
push us around anymore.

What the fuck
are those flowers?

It's from Sinatra.

It's says, "Hopefully, we can
make this thing go away."

It's a funeral wreath.

The florist fucked up.

No, he didn't fuck up.

Sinatra wants us
to shut the picture down.

Get me Mickey Cohen
in Los Angeles.

It's time to send a message.

It smells delicious, guys.
Yeah.

It's a beautiful
piece of meat, huh?

Mmm.

Where you going
with that knife?

I'm going to cut the fat
so that I can brown it.

Brown it?

My mother
never browned anything.

She fried it.

What's the difference?

We have
to put this in the picture.

What? A scene about
gangsters arguing over sauce?

No, a scene about family
arguing over sauce.

Huh?
Huh?

Let's open another
bottle of wine.

I'll get it.

You boys just keep on talking.

♪ It's the beginning
of a love affair ♪

♪

I had a really lovely time.

Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
Yeah.

My God.

They can eat
a lot of food though.

I think Puzo's been around
a kitchen once or twice.

Yeah.

I know, they're like
this old married couple.

An old married couple
that needs to start

turning in pages.

♪ You said no strings

♪ Could secure you
at the station ♪

♪

♪ Platform ticket,
restless diesels ♪

♪ Goodbye windows

♪

♪ I walked into
such a sad time ♪

♪ At the station

♪

♪ As I walked out,
felt my own need ♪

♪ Just beginning

♪

♪ I'll wait in the queue

♪ When the trains come back

♪ Lie with you
where the shadows ♪

♪ Run from themselves

♪

♪

You've read The Godfather right?

I knew only one thing about
the making of The Godfather,

which was that Mario Puzo got
into a fight

with Frank Sinatra in Chasen's.

- You know me?
- Yeah, I know who you are.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- So I had five minutes,

and I only had to fill in 9
hours and 55 minutes more,

and we'd have a show.

The Godfather.
Sure. Who hasn't?

I mean, you've read it.

It's, it's great. I love it.

The Godfather has always sort of
just been

the North Star for me.

We approach the movie
with reverence,

because it is definitely
one of the greatest movies

of all time.

When we first were in the
writers' room, we said,

"Okay, character arcs.
What is this really about?

What story are we telling?
How do you tell 10 episodes

about the making
of The Godfather?"

So our take on it

was always to respect
the masterpiece that this is,

because the story's really
about what's behind the scenes.

It's really about how difficult
it was

to get this movie made.

From early on,

we talked about the fact
that The Offer explored

like three disparate worlds.

Basically there are three
families in the movie.

Coppola and the family
of the filmmakers.

Robert Evans and the family

of Gulf and Western,
the executives.

And Joe Colombo
and the family of the mafia.

Salute!

And bouncing between those
three families is Al Ruddy.

The story of Al Ruddy
trying to get this movie made,

and what he and Coppola,

and everybody went through
to get it made

is just astounding.

One of the joys
of the script is,

is that there's so much tension.

We know it was made,
and yet when you're doing it,

you're like, it seems like it
could fall down at any minute.

We've been all over town,

no one wants to make this
movie for $4 million.

So I need you to produce it.

Not only was he a producer

that was having to
battle the studio system,

but he was also battling
the real life mafia.

For every character
in the story,

getting this movie made

or stopping this movie
from being made,

was a matter of life and death,
literally.

What I really enjoy about
this character, and with Al,

is that he's such a man
of action.

These were some
really serious situations

that Al was in. Very dangerous.

You don't like the rules much,
do you Ruddy?

I don't know the rules.

You borderline have to be
kind of insane to do the stuff

that he did
to get this movie made,

because he really did feel
with every fiber of his being

that this script was worth it,

that these actors were worth it,

that it was all worth it.

Nice work kiddo, nice work.

We like to pay homage to
the movie whenever we can,

and we do it in certain
episodes.

Hello, Bob.

There's a specific scene where
that really came home for me.

Hey, hey, Francis. How you been?

He is pitching to Ruddy
and Evans in the bar,

and he says...

The Godfather
is a story about men.

Men, brothers, businessmen,
who come together...

...And they form a bond
and they find justice

through loyalty.

And I thought, "Oh, shit! That's
exactly what we're doing."

It's a metaphor.

You have
these three brothers

coming from different places

coming together to try to get
this made,

arguing like a family,

like the three brothers
might be arguing

in the Corleone family.

To us, it was important to
follow each of their arcs

and have each of them
have conflict.

You read it and you
say, "That's my family."

They fight.

They yell at each other.

They don't like each other
sometimes,

but at the end, they
come back for each other.

That is great stuff.