The Odyssey (1992–1994): Season 3, Episode 3 - Learning Curve - full transcript

(dramatic music)

- [Jay] The doctors said I was in a coma.

Maybe I was but there is a
world beyond consciousness

that they knew nothing about.

(dramatic music)

But when I came back
nothing was quite the same

and I couldn't leave
that other world behind.

(dramatic music)

- My odyssey continues.

- This class is a terrific opportunity,

don't waste it.



The future is at your fingertips.

- I have better things
to do with my fingers.

- Yeah, well, don't do them in here.

- I don't wanna do anything in here,

I just wanna get out.

- This is no joke, Ziegler.

If you wanna be in
control of your own life,

then master the technology now.

(dramatic music)

- Fractal, come on, come
on, what's taking so long?

- Continuating molecular
resonators is a delicate business.

- Well, what's happening to
my monitors isn't delicate.

I need this thing now.

- I've got it, I've finally got it.



- Show me.

- I've dubbed it the fractal
immaterialization device

but you can just call it the Fractalizer.

(boy laughs)

- We are gonna rule.

(boy laughs)

- The computer room will
be open after school.

- Oh, gee, I can hardly wait.

- I like your attitude, Mr. Ziegler.

There'll be a test on Thursday.

- Oh, man, what you wanna get
a teacher on your case for?

He's just gonna wait for you to screw up.

- Like I care, why are
we in this class anyway,

it's for morons.

- Everyone's a moron except for you huh?

- And you.

- Morons like me has been stuck
in this class for two years

while morons like you've been sleeping!

- You really are a moron!

(items crash)

- Okay, you two that's it,
detection hall, three o'clock.

(dramatic music)

(motorcycles rev)

- Hey, I didn't see you in
detention hall yesterday.

- I was there.
- Were not.

- Hey, look it's the brain damaged boy,

sometimes he sees double,
sometimes he doesn't even see

what's right in front of his nose.

Hi.

See ya.

- Why'd he do that, he
made me look like an idiot

in front of those guys.

- You made him feel stupid yesterday.

- All I said is the keyboarding
class is for morons.

- Jay, you're there for
a few months for rehab.

He was put there because his
grades aren't good enough

to go anywhere else.

- Who's fault is that?

- Not everybody's good in school.

Now that he skipped
detention, he'll be suspended.

- See, he is a moron, he should
have thought of that before.

I wanna get out of that
class, you gotta help me.

- Jay, you're there for a reason.

- Donna, I wanna be where you are.

We've always been in the same class.

- You've missed two years of school.

How can you say you're
ready for honors English?

- I just want a chance to prove myself.

- The tower needs a tester, how about you.

- You!
- Help the tower

and the tower will help you.
- You!

- No wimps, no wusses,
no wieners need apply,

is warm milk gives you
the willies, stand aside.

If you wanna walk through the
wall, be a tester, be a hero.

♪ Tester is the bester ♪

♪ Tester is the bester ♪

♪ Tester is the bester ♪

♪ Tester ♪

- Walk through the wall?

- It's tower propaganda.

- Maybe but I'm going for it.

- A couple of days ago they
were trying to kill you

and now you wanna work for them?

- It could be a trap.

- Getting through the wall
is more important to them

and to me.

- They'll never pick you.
- Why not?

- 'Cause they're gonna pick
me, I'm going for it too.

- At least I've got a reason, why?

- Because I can, at least I
wanna be somebody in this world.

All you care about is getting out.

(dramatic music)

- Supreme commander,
reduced to hyping a hat

that glows in the dark.

This better work, Finger.

- Yeah, if we knew it worked,
we wouldn't need testers.

- Why is it always up to me
to make order out of chaos?

- Well, we have much to learn

from your infinite testosterocity, sir.

- Who needs technology when you have this.

- Yes, Macro, you will be
remembered as the war lord

who brought the whack
back to the front lines.

- These are state-of-the-art
pure maim and destruction.

- State-of-the-art.

- Well, that one's a little
faulty but I bought quantity.

- Yeah, oh yeah, yeah,
we're stuck with hundreds

of these duds.

They stink, they're useless,
we need real weapons

not junk!
- Relax.

(dramatic music)

- With these grownup machines,
we can do some real damage.

- This picture's from one of my magazines,

from my room.

- Yeah, well, the entire
security system of the world

was at stake.

Besides your door was open.

- Well, you may find it closed later on.

- I wouldn't like that.

- Well, Finger, we all
have to live with things

we don't like.

- Oh, but Medea, you'd
like these machines.

Medea, we'd be like thunder,
no one could stop us.

- But that's grownup stuff from
the other side of the wall.

- Yeah, just waiting
there for us to grab it.

Fractal?

- Hello, hello.

- Show them.

- Bring in test subject number 36.

(dramatic music)

- My poochie, what are
you doing to Schwarzkopf?

- Don't worry, he's perfectly safe.

- Yeah, well if he's
so safe, what happened

to the other 35 subjects?

(machine powers up)

- Ready, ready, you
see this, you see this?

(dog barks)

- That's cruel, dogs have feelings.

Don't tease him.

- Patience please.

4.2, 4.3, 4.4, molecular
resonance has occurred,

in layman's terms bingo!

(dramatic music)

(electricity sparks)

(dog barks)

- Well, now anything we want we take.

- Come on, Jay, you're just
as smart as you used to be.

- Who will notice when I'm
stuck with the dimwits?

- I can help you get into
honors English class.

You'd have to write an essay
but we could work together.

- That'll take forever,
don't you have an old essay

lying around?

- That'd be cheating.

- It's not for a mark,
it'll just get me in,

I'll still do the work.

- It's pretty brutal.

- That's when you can help me.

- And now another look
at our semifinalists

for the toughest job in the land, tester.

♪ The tester is the bester ♪

♪ The tester is the bester ♪

- Before you are the
bravest and the boldest

and they all want the job.

They've jumped, they've
raced, they've fought.

And now for the final elimination round.

- If you quit now you
won't embarrass yourself.

- There's no shame in winning.

- How far will you go?

- How far have you got?

- Would you walk through fire?

- I am fire.

(dramatic music)

- One will be the tester,
the rest will be toast

and remember no running.

- It's a homomorphic
equality, it layman's terms,

it's a tie.

- A tie, Fractal, ties take
time, I have to get home,

we have to make a decision now.

Schwarzkopf's got a headache.

- Just pick one, Fractal,

what difference does it make?

- It's crucial, according
to our most recent tests,

it's not muscle density
we need, just density.

We need someone who's thick.

- Well just do it and make it snappy.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- You want us to dance?

- No, this is an intelligence test.

Category music, objective
melodic identification.

In layman's terms, name that tune.

(orchestra music)

- Wait a minute, I know that,

that's "Beethoven's Fifth Symphony."

- No, you dummy, that's
"Rollover Beethoven."

- We definitely have a winner.

(dramatic music)

- It's completely unfair, I won!

- The decision of the head
judge, also the only judge,

also the supreme commander
of the world is final.

My poochie needs me, I'm going home now.

- I suggest you do the same.

- You just can't admit it, can you,

that I'm the one who's got what it takes.

(dramatic music)

- I haven't seen you at school in days,

are you still suspended?

- Better, I quit.

- Quit, that's major.

- Yeah, you're still
stuck with the morons.

- The future's at your fingertips, no way,

I got in to honors English.

- Right, what'd you do bribe
the teacher, wash her dog?

- Donna helped me.

- Well, I guess we both
got what we wanted.

- So, what are you doing?

- I got a job making some dough.

- Cool, it must be great
to have your own money,

do whatever you want.

- Yeah, hey look what I bought.

- Wicked.
- Next stop, a bike.

I'll take you for a ride
sometime after school.

- Meanwhile, you wanna shoot some hoops?

- Sure, I'll give you five points.

- Hey, what are mutant insects from Mars

doing in with cyborg spiders?

Don't you know the difference
between cyborgs and mutants?

- Yeah, so?
- So, the mutants

live over there with genetically
engineered superheroes

and don't you forget it.

- Why is he talking to you like that?

- Ah, he's the assistant manager.

- Exactly, and when the
manager's away, I'm in charge.

So, after you straighten up this mess,

go clean up the glass on
the brain eater display,

looks disgusting.

- Sorry, gotta cancel those hoops.

(dramatic music)

- Test series 0014,
elapsed time 9.7 seconds.

100% clean exposure, tester
appears totally unaffected

by an immaterialization.

- Is it hot in here?

- If slightly flushed.

That was flawless.

Any symptomatic disturbances?

- A little tingly, kind of warm.

- Hmm.

- You were thinking again.

What did I tell you
about clearing your mind?

Prior to admission go blank,

that shouldn't be too difficult.

- To the amazing Fractalizer.

- Nobody does the visionary
thing quite like you.

- Hmm-mm.

I just love win-win situations.

If Fractal's little toy works,

we score the grownup machines,

if it doesn't, Jay's strongest
ally will become immaterial.

- I just love a winner.

- Well, hold that thought.

I've gotta go see what's
taking Fractal so long.

(glass crashes)

(dramatic music)

- Jay!

You shouldn't be here.

- I want some answers.

- What if they catch us here,
if they find us talking?

- I have to know, why didn't they pick me,

I won the contest, I
deserve to be the tester.

- Be glad you weren't.

They're not telling anybody this

but there's a big problem
with the Fractalizer

and it's only ever worked on dumb animals.

- Then I guess Flash
won't have any problems.

- Besides, if you ever
got through the wall,

you wouldn't come back.

- What difference does that make to you?

- What do you think?

- Medea, where are my gloves?
- They're right here, darling,

I'll bring them right out to you!

You have to go, hurry.

(slow music)

- This class is an
intellectual challenge, Jay.

The essay you wrote for
admission was very impressive.

In particular, your thoughts
on the theme of carpe diem

in post-modern poetry.

- I'm glad you liked it.

- I was gonna introduce
that concept in class today

but under the circumstances,
I'll let you do it.

- Pardon me?
- Carpe diem, Jay,

take it away.

- As you know carpe diem
is truly interesting.

Now the word diem means

day.

And the word carpe comes from

carp like the fish.

Carpe diem, catch of the day.

- Jay, where are you taking us?

- For a ride.

He's bogus, he doesn't belong here.

- You're out of line,
Nicki, give him a chance.

Jay?

(engines rev)

We're waiting.

- Ask him, what's the
source of postmodern poetry?

I bet he doesn't even know.

- It's the wasteland,
everybody knows that.

- I don't.

I gotta go.

(dramatic music)

- How long can you go on covering for him?

(dramatic music)

- Come on quickly.
- Where are you taking me?

- I have to show you something,

Fractal's earlier experiments.

- What happened to these kids?

- Ever heard the expression
too smart for your own good?

They can get through the wall safely

but if they had more
brains than Macro's brains,

their molecules get all scrambled up

and they can't get back.

- That explains it, that's
why they picked Flash

instead of me.

- We've gotta help him.

(dramatic music)

- So, what do you guys want?

Hey, give me that back, I paid for it,

what are you doing!

(engine revs)

Come on, Sparky, what's going on?

No, what are you doing?

(engines rev)

- You're making history, Flash,

you'll be remembered forever.

- No big deal, the hat does all the work.

- Yeah, but you take all
the risks, you're a hero.

- I guess.

- No guessing, no talking,
and definitely no thinking.

- He'll be okay.

- You can't know what goes
on in a person's head.

- We're ready to begin.

- Wait, what about your
failed experiments, Fractal?

Did you tell Flash about them?

- Those were ions ago,
compared to this new model,

those were prehistoric prototypes.

- Tell that to those other
testers frozen in stone.

- What other testers?

- They're martyrs to the cause of science,

they had half the technology,
a quarter of your courage

and at least twice your intelligence.

Don't let their deaths be in vein, Flash.

- Am I getting trashed here?

Why don't you guys just shut up.

Let's just do this.

- But the thing doesn't work.

- You're just saying that
'cause they picked me, not you.

I know what the hat can do.

- You're the best tester who ever lived.

- Or died.

- All ready?

- My mind's a blank.

- Test series 0016, material
stone, thickness one meter.

Subject passing full body through wall.

Engage.

(dramatic music)

- Go Flash.

- It's working, it's working!

(Flash grunts)

(dramatic music)

- I can feel it now, the shifting gears,

the burning rubber,
the buzz of pure power!

Vroom, vroom!
- Vroom!

(engine revs)

(engine dies)

- Don't think about it, just do it!

- Come on Flash!

- Just another 10.7
centimeters and you're home!

- [Flash] My arm, my leg, I
feel like they're getting heavy

like stone!

- Flash, your hand!

(Flash grunts and moans)

- [Flash] What do I do?

- Nothing, trust me,
I'll get you out of this!

(Flash moans and groans)

Come on, let me do the
thinking for the both of us!

Come on!

Come on!

(Flash hollers)

- Thank you.

- Are you okay?

- I think so.

- What happened this time?

What went, how are you gonna fix this?

- Full frontal lobotomy
but I'm warning you,

it could get messy.
- Moron!

(dramatic music)

- Come on, man, you can't
stay out here forever.

- No way I'm writing an apology letter.

- Suit yourself, go back
to sorting out cyborgs

from mutant brain eaters.

It's no biggie, I'll
help you with the letter.

- Yeah, right, like you know how to type.

- I need the practice,
it'll be our typing project.

- The future

is at your fingertips.
is at your fingertips.

(dramatic music)

(dramatic music)