The Odd Couple (2015–2017): Season 2, Episode 6 - An Oscar Named Desire - full transcript
Dani, I can't find my...
Keys? On the counter.
Wallet? In the drawer.
Self-reliance?
Never seen it.
All right, how do I look?
I'm going for "ruggedly handsome"
or "damn."
Oh. Another date with Charlotte?
You guys are like a little thing now.
Yeah, I think tonight might
be the night we actually...
...you know.
I don't know. I don't want to know.
I don't need to know.
Sex.
And now I know.
Yeah, she just texted
me she's really excited
about dinner tonight
but even more excited
to go back to her place for dessert.
Dessert.
I get it, Oscar.
Sex.
You answer one job
listing on Craigslist...
Oscar, are you finished with this
half-eaten sandwich I
just found in the couch?
Ham or peanut butter?
Peanut butter.
Still working on it.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Who's your friend?
This is my dog, Biscuit.
What is he doing here?
I thought Brandon got
custody in the divorce.
Oh, he did, but he's
in Somalia for a week
airlifting food and water
to starving children.
Oh. Sounds like a real jerk.
Yeah, Brandon's fearless.
You know, if you don't count
the fact that he told me
that he was gay in a text,
followed by this emoji.
Felix, come on.
Come say hi to Biscuit.
Okay. How do you do?
Oh.
That's weird.
Biscuit!
I am sorry, Felix.
He doesn't usually do that.
Oh, it's fine.
I'm sure he's just skittish
around strangers, you know?
Who's a good boy?
Biscuit's a good boy.
I hope he has all his shots.
Oh, I do.
You know what? He's had a long day.
But I'm sure once he warms up to you,
you guys are gonna be
the best of friends.
I'm sure you're right.
Okay, I'm gonna go get
him a bowl of water.
Okay.
I just hate when a
restaurant makes you pick out
your own lobster.
You know what I do is
I pick the lobster
that looks the meanest.
That way I'm a hero to
all the other lobsters.
Oh, was that too loud?
Is your son around?
No, he's at his dad's
tonight. We have the place
all to ourselves.
Well, then allow me.
Oh.
Oh.
You're giving me chills.
There's more where that came from.
Um, would you like a drink?
I have milk, fruit
punch, squeezable yogurt.
They all mix well with vodka.
I was hoping we could
skip right to... dessert.
Oh. I like the way you think.
Give me a minute.
I've got all night.
How do you feel about whipped cream?
Oh, yeah!
I hope you're not disappointed.
They got a little saggy.
Well, let me be the judge of...
You actually made dessert.
Well, you said you like chocolate.
I do.
Now, where was I?
I believe the back of your neck.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, that was a fun night.
"Was"?
I should turn in early.
I have an emergency
meeting in the morning.
Symphony orchestras have emergencies?
Yeah.
The strings are high-strung,
the horn section is horny.
It's a mess.
Well, I...
guess I'll go home then.
Sounds good.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Well, at least my shoes
get to see her naked.
Ooh, something smells good.
What is it?
Oscar, don't.
It's dog food for Biscuit.
You're actually
considering it, aren't you?
I had a light lunch.
Why are you doing all this?
Well, Biscuit means the world to Emily,
and Emily means the world to me.
So I'm going to do whatever
it takes to bow-wow him.
Well, let me know how it works.
I may need you to cook
something to bow-wow Charlotte.
What happened?
Nothing! Nothing has happened.
We've been going out for weeks,
and she still doesn't
seem interested in...
...you know.
Sexual congress.
You can make anything sound boring.
I don't know what the problem is.
Am I losing my touch?
I thought she liked me.
I think that she does.
And that's why she
wants to take it slow.
And you should want that, too.
Why?
In the past, you've
always jumped into bed
with women that you barely
knew. And what did it get you?
Several thank yous.
Countless high-fives.
That's right, loneliness and regret.
But now you have a chance
to build something real
with a woman you seem
to genuinely care about.
Yeah, I really do.
So why don't you do something
different and hold off
on the physical until you've
had a chance to establish
a real emotional connection with her.
Look at Emily and me.
Yeah, that'll put me off sex.
We were friends for an entire
year before we consummated.
And now our relationship
is a model of perfection.
You are cooking for her dog.
Please. I'm just throwing
a little something together.
Now, where is my caramelizing torch?
Hi, Dani.
Hey, Charlotte. How's it going?
Good. Why?
What have you heard?
Has Oscar said something?
No. What are you talking about?
Well, I probably
shouldn't be talking to you
about my, you know,
physical relationship with your boss.
And you'd be right.
Check the box next to "Right you are."
But who knows him better than you do?
A lot of people. His
parents. His college friends.
His bookie.
It's just...
I haven't been with a
man since my divorce.
Or you could call a girlfriend
and grab a Chardonnay.
And I know that Oscar is ready for sex.
I'm just not sure I am.
I've seen the kind of women he dates,
with their 25-year-old
skin and their perky...
everythings.
Oh, Charlotte, I hate to see
a good woman down on herself.
Listen, you are gorgeous.
And Oscar definitely thinks so, too.
Really?
Absolutely.
He says inappropriate things
about you all the time.
That's so sweet.
You know, maybe I have been
overthinking this. Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Tonight's the night. Thanks, Dani.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome.
Now, you just go on out
there and you get your man.
And let's never, ever
talk like this again.
Hey.
Room service.
A kiss for the lady.
And for the gentle dog...
a kibble casserole.
Oh.
Wow, fancy.
Biscuit, look who's here
with a special treat for you.
There you go, young man.
That, uh, might pair nicely
with a slurp of toilet water.
Look, he likes it.
Oh.
Hey, Brandon.
Biscuit's doing great.
Yes, I read him
all of the e-mails you sent.
Well, you seemed to enjoy that.
Does that make us friends now?
Okay.
You don't like me. That's fine.
You're only here for five more days.
And if you think I
don't know how to deal
with an annoying roommate,
well, you are sorely mistaken.
Felix, amazing news!
They just offered Brandon
a permanent job in Somalia,
and he's going to take it,
which means I get to keep Biscuit!
What?!
And deny this pup an
enriching trip to Africa?
I am gonna spend so much time with you.
Oh. Except for tomorrow.
I have to work a double shift.
Would you mind watching him for me?
Absolutely I would.
Thank you.
Oh, you hear that, Biscuit?
You get to live with Mommy now.
Oh, yes.
Felix, why are you way over there?
Shh. I'd tell you, but
Biscuit doesn't like
when I talk during Scooby-Doo.
That dog despises me.
Aw. This little guy?
Yeah.
That vicious beast.
He looks like he's giving out kisses.
Are you giving out kisses? Huh?
Oh, yes, he is. Yes, he
is. He's giving out kisses.
Hey, Felix, come get yourself a kiss.
The truth is...
And this is embarrassing. I'm...
I'm terrified of dogs.
What?
When I was a boy, my parents
nicknamed me Felix the Cat.
Creativity was not their strong suit.
Anyway, one Halloween
I dressed up as him,
and all the neighborhood dogs chased me,
and I ended up hiding in a
tree and I had to be rescued
by a kid dressed as a fireman.
Does Emily know this?
No. No, and I'm too
embarrassed to tell her.
She called her ex the
bravest man she's ever known.
And here I am, scared of a barking mop.
Which is ironic, given
how much I love mops.
Felix, you can't live in fear of dogs.
You got to find a way
to assert your dominance.
Does Biscuit play the Broadway
edition of Trivial Pursuit?
'Cause I will crush him.
Look, my kids have a dog.
And the stupid thing just had puppies.
So we took a class and
learned a bunch of ways
to show a dog that
you're the boss. So try...
putting your hand on his head.
No, sir.
His head is where he keeps his teeth.
Then try making eye contact
with him, without looking away.
That actually works?
Hey, Teddy.
Hey, buddy.
Watch this. Hey, uh,
I need you to do that
public appearance on Sunday.
Oh, I told you on the phone,
I hate doing those things.
Oscar, it would really help
me out if you did this for me.
But Teddy...
Eh, I'm free Sunday. Why not?
All right, I'm gonna go
have dinner with Charlotte.
And only dinner, right?
Right.
And if you start to waver,
remember what we talked about.
Yeah, I don't know.
To make it great,
you have to wait.
Okay, I'm gonna wait.
Sorry, pal, I tried.
Don't think about sex.
Don't think about sex.
Don't think about sex.
So, what do you think?
Sex.
It's really cold out.
You should throw a long,
baggy sweater over that.
There are other ways to warm up.
I cancelled our dinner reservation.
I thought we could stay home instead.
Oh, great.
What'd you have in mind? Boggle?
Parcheesi?
Connect Four?
How about connect two?
Are we the two?
Stop talking.
But isn't talking the way
we learn about each other?
Our hopes and dreams and what we want?
I know what I want.
Oh!
Is it a pot of coffee?
'Cause I'll put one on.
I can't do it.
He's staring at me like
I'm a cat in a mailman suit.
Well, there's a couple of
other things we could try.
No, no, forget it. I give up.
This stupid mutt is
never going to like me.
Well, guess what, Biscuit?
I don't like you either.
You are not a good boy.
You are a jerk and a bully,
and I wish that you had never been born.
Felix.
Oh, hi. Uh, you're home early.
You know, my grandpa used
to say you can learn a lot
about a person by the
way he treats a dog.
Which was weird, because
he never had a dog,
he had a parakeet. He
was allergic to dogs.
Well, and wheat, and Bartlett pears.
Only Bartlett. What an odd guy.
My point is...
I learned a lot about
you today, Felix Unger.
My grandpa used to say you
can learn a lot about a person
from the shape of their head.
You're good.
Hey, you know what might be a good idea?
A nice, brisk walk.
If it's exercise you're after...
No thanks, I'm good.
Oscar, what's going on?
Nothing. Why?
Just tell me... is there
something wrong with me?
No. There's nothing wrong with you.
Everything's right with you.
Supple and good-smelling and right.
I just think maybe we should wait.
You do?
Because I don't.
Well, I did.
Can't seem to remember why now.
Take me.
You said you weren't going to do this.
Oh, my God!
What? Are you okay?
Yes, that was a...
"you're so sexy" oh, my God.
To make it great, you have to wait.
No, no, no!
What is going on?
I'm sorry. Felix's dog
left the...
oven on.
Damn it, I'm running out of shoes.
Oscar. How did it go with Charlotte?
You should know... you were there.
What are you talking about?
I don't know. Suddenly,
she did want to have sex
and so did I, but then
you were in my head
telling me not to have sex, so I just...
I just ran away.
You didn't talk to her?
No. That would have
been weird and awkward.
Well, maybe so, but it
would have brought you
closer together. This
is exactly the kind
of intimacy that you have been avoiding.
Well, see? Now you're even avoiding me.
I've seen enough of your face!
Oh, Teddy, you're here.
Yup. You ready?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm terrified.
Oh! Oh, God!
Look at them. It's
worse than I imagined.
You don't have to do this, man.
No. No, the only way to face my fear
is just to confront it head-on.
Immersion therapy.
Okay.
Release the hounds.
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh, they're so warm and fluffy!
Oh, and he's licking me.
He's licking me!
Stuff like this surprise you anymore?
Not really.
Hey, you know what? We-we
shouldn't have done them
all at once. I changed my mind, Teddy.
I want to get out. I want to get out.
Nuh-uh. Stay in the pool, you baby.
Felix, you should see yourself.
You look ridiculous.
Yeah? Oh, well, at least
I'm facing my fears.
Instead of you, who ran away
from an honest conversation
with your girlfriend.
You know what? You're right.
I'll see you guys.
Puppy breath. Puppy breath.
Hello.
Yeah, they're still
available for adoption.
Hey, if you take all six,
I'll throw in a kiddie pool.
Teddy, I got your text.
What did you want me to...
Felix?
Oh, Emily.
Hi, I was just, um,
trying to find some,
uh, friends for Biscuit.
Aren't they adorable?
With their little licky tongues
and their exposed bottoms?
You're trying to find a friend
for a dog that you hate?
I don't hate Biscuit, okay?
I'm afraid of him.
I'm afraid of all dogs,
including these little monsters.
But... I'm trying to overcome my fears.
Felix, that's so brave.
As brave as Brandon, the
bravest man you've ever known?
I said that he was fearless.
You're brave because you
actually do have a fear,
and you're trying to conquer it.
And you're doing it for me.
I am, aren't I?
Absolutely.
Do you mind if I join you?
Oh, please.
Plenty of pinkeye to go around in here.
Oh, hi.
Sorry I'm such a mess.
Not that it matters,
since you're clearly
not attracted to me.
Was it the kissing you
then running out of the room screaming?
That was a hint.
By the way, if you're
looking for your shoes,
I dropped them off.
Oh, thanks.
My balcony.
Listen, Charlotte, I'm sorry.
I was talking to Felix
and he made me realize
if I wanted this to last,
then I should hold off
on being physical until we're closer.
Really? 'Cause I talked to Dani,
and she said we should have sex.
Remind me to give Dani a raise.
Well, now I understand
why you left like that.
Yeah, I was just trying to hold off
until we had a real
emotional connection.
Well, I'm glad you did.
'Cause I like you, Oscar.
I really want this to work.
Am I wrong, or...
are we getting emotionally
connected right now?
Feels like we are, doesn't it?
And if we're...
emotionally connected, then we can...
I think we have to.
Everything okay?
Yeah. Just making sure it's you.
It is.
Oscar, same clothes as last night?
Is this what the kids
call the walk of shame?
Oh, no, I did what you said.
We talked, we connected,
we got really close.
And then we, well...
you know.
Yes, we know. Sex.
You had sex.
You gave her the
business. You got it on.
You made hot animal love
until the sun came up.
We get it!
Well, that was inappropriate.
Oh, hey, Felix.
Time to take Biscuit
for a walk in the park.
Can't wait. Let me grab my coat.
What's this? Are you
becoming a dog person now?
Well, Emily is my gal,
and she loves her Biscuit,
so there is nothing that
I wouldn't do for them.
Aw.
Oh Felix, we need a
plastic bag for his poop.
Okay, have fun, you two.
Keys? On the counter.
Wallet? In the drawer.
Self-reliance?
Never seen it.
All right, how do I look?
I'm going for "ruggedly handsome"
or "damn."
Oh. Another date with Charlotte?
You guys are like a little thing now.
Yeah, I think tonight might
be the night we actually...
...you know.
I don't know. I don't want to know.
I don't need to know.
Sex.
And now I know.
Yeah, she just texted
me she's really excited
about dinner tonight
but even more excited
to go back to her place for dessert.
Dessert.
I get it, Oscar.
Sex.
You answer one job
listing on Craigslist...
Oscar, are you finished with this
half-eaten sandwich I
just found in the couch?
Ham or peanut butter?
Peanut butter.
Still working on it.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
Who's your friend?
This is my dog, Biscuit.
What is he doing here?
I thought Brandon got
custody in the divorce.
Oh, he did, but he's
in Somalia for a week
airlifting food and water
to starving children.
Oh. Sounds like a real jerk.
Yeah, Brandon's fearless.
You know, if you don't count
the fact that he told me
that he was gay in a text,
followed by this emoji.
Felix, come on.
Come say hi to Biscuit.
Okay. How do you do?
Oh.
That's weird.
Biscuit!
I am sorry, Felix.
He doesn't usually do that.
Oh, it's fine.
I'm sure he's just skittish
around strangers, you know?
Who's a good boy?
Biscuit's a good boy.
I hope he has all his shots.
Oh, I do.
You know what? He's had a long day.
But I'm sure once he warms up to you,
you guys are gonna be
the best of friends.
I'm sure you're right.
Okay, I'm gonna go get
him a bowl of water.
Okay.
I just hate when a
restaurant makes you pick out
your own lobster.
You know what I do is
I pick the lobster
that looks the meanest.
That way I'm a hero to
all the other lobsters.
Oh, was that too loud?
Is your son around?
No, he's at his dad's
tonight. We have the place
all to ourselves.
Well, then allow me.
Oh.
Oh.
You're giving me chills.
There's more where that came from.
Um, would you like a drink?
I have milk, fruit
punch, squeezable yogurt.
They all mix well with vodka.
I was hoping we could
skip right to... dessert.
Oh. I like the way you think.
Give me a minute.
I've got all night.
How do you feel about whipped cream?
Oh, yeah!
I hope you're not disappointed.
They got a little saggy.
Well, let me be the judge of...
You actually made dessert.
Well, you said you like chocolate.
I do.
Now, where was I?
I believe the back of your neck.
Oh.
Oh.
Well, that was a fun night.
"Was"?
I should turn in early.
I have an emergency
meeting in the morning.
Symphony orchestras have emergencies?
Yeah.
The strings are high-strung,
the horn section is horny.
It's a mess.
Well, I...
guess I'll go home then.
Sounds good.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Well, at least my shoes
get to see her naked.
Ooh, something smells good.
What is it?
Oscar, don't.
It's dog food for Biscuit.
You're actually
considering it, aren't you?
I had a light lunch.
Why are you doing all this?
Well, Biscuit means the world to Emily,
and Emily means the world to me.
So I'm going to do whatever
it takes to bow-wow him.
Well, let me know how it works.
I may need you to cook
something to bow-wow Charlotte.
What happened?
Nothing! Nothing has happened.
We've been going out for weeks,
and she still doesn't
seem interested in...
...you know.
Sexual congress.
You can make anything sound boring.
I don't know what the problem is.
Am I losing my touch?
I thought she liked me.
I think that she does.
And that's why she
wants to take it slow.
And you should want that, too.
Why?
In the past, you've
always jumped into bed
with women that you barely
knew. And what did it get you?
Several thank yous.
Countless high-fives.
That's right, loneliness and regret.
But now you have a chance
to build something real
with a woman you seem
to genuinely care about.
Yeah, I really do.
So why don't you do something
different and hold off
on the physical until you've
had a chance to establish
a real emotional connection with her.
Look at Emily and me.
Yeah, that'll put me off sex.
We were friends for an entire
year before we consummated.
And now our relationship
is a model of perfection.
You are cooking for her dog.
Please. I'm just throwing
a little something together.
Now, where is my caramelizing torch?
Hi, Dani.
Hey, Charlotte. How's it going?
Good. Why?
What have you heard?
Has Oscar said something?
No. What are you talking about?
Well, I probably
shouldn't be talking to you
about my, you know,
physical relationship with your boss.
And you'd be right.
Check the box next to "Right you are."
But who knows him better than you do?
A lot of people. His
parents. His college friends.
His bookie.
It's just...
I haven't been with a
man since my divorce.
Or you could call a girlfriend
and grab a Chardonnay.
And I know that Oscar is ready for sex.
I'm just not sure I am.
I've seen the kind of women he dates,
with their 25-year-old
skin and their perky...
everythings.
Oh, Charlotte, I hate to see
a good woman down on herself.
Listen, you are gorgeous.
And Oscar definitely thinks so, too.
Really?
Absolutely.
He says inappropriate things
about you all the time.
That's so sweet.
You know, maybe I have been
overthinking this. Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Tonight's the night. Thanks, Dani.
Oh. Okay.
Yeah, yeah. You're welcome.
Now, you just go on out
there and you get your man.
And let's never, ever
talk like this again.
Hey.
Room service.
A kiss for the lady.
And for the gentle dog...
a kibble casserole.
Oh.
Wow, fancy.
Biscuit, look who's here
with a special treat for you.
There you go, young man.
That, uh, might pair nicely
with a slurp of toilet water.
Look, he likes it.
Oh.
Hey, Brandon.
Biscuit's doing great.
Yes, I read him
all of the e-mails you sent.
Well, you seemed to enjoy that.
Does that make us friends now?
Okay.
You don't like me. That's fine.
You're only here for five more days.
And if you think I
don't know how to deal
with an annoying roommate,
well, you are sorely mistaken.
Felix, amazing news!
They just offered Brandon
a permanent job in Somalia,
and he's going to take it,
which means I get to keep Biscuit!
What?!
And deny this pup an
enriching trip to Africa?
I am gonna spend so much time with you.
Oh. Except for tomorrow.
I have to work a double shift.
Would you mind watching him for me?
Absolutely I would.
Thank you.
Oh, you hear that, Biscuit?
You get to live with Mommy now.
Oh, yes.
Felix, why are you way over there?
Shh. I'd tell you, but
Biscuit doesn't like
when I talk during Scooby-Doo.
That dog despises me.
Aw. This little guy?
Yeah.
That vicious beast.
He looks like he's giving out kisses.
Are you giving out kisses? Huh?
Oh, yes, he is. Yes, he
is. He's giving out kisses.
Hey, Felix, come get yourself a kiss.
The truth is...
And this is embarrassing. I'm...
I'm terrified of dogs.
What?
When I was a boy, my parents
nicknamed me Felix the Cat.
Creativity was not their strong suit.
Anyway, one Halloween
I dressed up as him,
and all the neighborhood dogs chased me,
and I ended up hiding in a
tree and I had to be rescued
by a kid dressed as a fireman.
Does Emily know this?
No. No, and I'm too
embarrassed to tell her.
She called her ex the
bravest man she's ever known.
And here I am, scared of a barking mop.
Which is ironic, given
how much I love mops.
Felix, you can't live in fear of dogs.
You got to find a way
to assert your dominance.
Does Biscuit play the Broadway
edition of Trivial Pursuit?
'Cause I will crush him.
Look, my kids have a dog.
And the stupid thing just had puppies.
So we took a class and
learned a bunch of ways
to show a dog that
you're the boss. So try...
putting your hand on his head.
No, sir.
His head is where he keeps his teeth.
Then try making eye contact
with him, without looking away.
That actually works?
Hey, Teddy.
Hey, buddy.
Watch this. Hey, uh,
I need you to do that
public appearance on Sunday.
Oh, I told you on the phone,
I hate doing those things.
Oscar, it would really help
me out if you did this for me.
But Teddy...
Eh, I'm free Sunday. Why not?
All right, I'm gonna go
have dinner with Charlotte.
And only dinner, right?
Right.
And if you start to waver,
remember what we talked about.
Yeah, I don't know.
To make it great,
you have to wait.
Okay, I'm gonna wait.
Sorry, pal, I tried.
Don't think about sex.
Don't think about sex.
Don't think about sex.
So, what do you think?
Sex.
It's really cold out.
You should throw a long,
baggy sweater over that.
There are other ways to warm up.
I cancelled our dinner reservation.
I thought we could stay home instead.
Oh, great.
What'd you have in mind? Boggle?
Parcheesi?
Connect Four?
How about connect two?
Are we the two?
Stop talking.
But isn't talking the way
we learn about each other?
Our hopes and dreams and what we want?
I know what I want.
Oh!
Is it a pot of coffee?
'Cause I'll put one on.
I can't do it.
He's staring at me like
I'm a cat in a mailman suit.
Well, there's a couple of
other things we could try.
No, no, forget it. I give up.
This stupid mutt is
never going to like me.
Well, guess what, Biscuit?
I don't like you either.
You are not a good boy.
You are a jerk and a bully,
and I wish that you had never been born.
Felix.
Oh, hi. Uh, you're home early.
You know, my grandpa used
to say you can learn a lot
about a person by the
way he treats a dog.
Which was weird, because
he never had a dog,
he had a parakeet. He
was allergic to dogs.
Well, and wheat, and Bartlett pears.
Only Bartlett. What an odd guy.
My point is...
I learned a lot about
you today, Felix Unger.
My grandpa used to say you
can learn a lot about a person
from the shape of their head.
You're good.
Hey, you know what might be a good idea?
A nice, brisk walk.
If it's exercise you're after...
No thanks, I'm good.
Oscar, what's going on?
Nothing. Why?
Just tell me... is there
something wrong with me?
No. There's nothing wrong with you.
Everything's right with you.
Supple and good-smelling and right.
I just think maybe we should wait.
You do?
Because I don't.
Well, I did.
Can't seem to remember why now.
Take me.
You said you weren't going to do this.
Oh, my God!
What? Are you okay?
Yes, that was a...
"you're so sexy" oh, my God.
To make it great, you have to wait.
No, no, no!
What is going on?
I'm sorry. Felix's dog
left the...
oven on.
Damn it, I'm running out of shoes.
Oscar. How did it go with Charlotte?
You should know... you were there.
What are you talking about?
I don't know. Suddenly,
she did want to have sex
and so did I, but then
you were in my head
telling me not to have sex, so I just...
I just ran away.
You didn't talk to her?
No. That would have
been weird and awkward.
Well, maybe so, but it
would have brought you
closer together. This
is exactly the kind
of intimacy that you have been avoiding.
Well, see? Now you're even avoiding me.
I've seen enough of your face!
Oh, Teddy, you're here.
Yup. You ready?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm terrified.
Oh! Oh, God!
Look at them. It's
worse than I imagined.
You don't have to do this, man.
No. No, the only way to face my fear
is just to confront it head-on.
Immersion therapy.
Okay.
Release the hounds.
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh, they're so warm and fluffy!
Oh, and he's licking me.
He's licking me!
Stuff like this surprise you anymore?
Not really.
Hey, you know what? We-we
shouldn't have done them
all at once. I changed my mind, Teddy.
I want to get out. I want to get out.
Nuh-uh. Stay in the pool, you baby.
Felix, you should see yourself.
You look ridiculous.
Yeah? Oh, well, at least
I'm facing my fears.
Instead of you, who ran away
from an honest conversation
with your girlfriend.
You know what? You're right.
I'll see you guys.
Puppy breath. Puppy breath.
Hello.
Yeah, they're still
available for adoption.
Hey, if you take all six,
I'll throw in a kiddie pool.
Teddy, I got your text.
What did you want me to...
Felix?
Oh, Emily.
Hi, I was just, um,
trying to find some,
uh, friends for Biscuit.
Aren't they adorable?
With their little licky tongues
and their exposed bottoms?
You're trying to find a friend
for a dog that you hate?
I don't hate Biscuit, okay?
I'm afraid of him.
I'm afraid of all dogs,
including these little monsters.
But... I'm trying to overcome my fears.
Felix, that's so brave.
As brave as Brandon, the
bravest man you've ever known?
I said that he was fearless.
You're brave because you
actually do have a fear,
and you're trying to conquer it.
And you're doing it for me.
I am, aren't I?
Absolutely.
Do you mind if I join you?
Oh, please.
Plenty of pinkeye to go around in here.
Oh, hi.
Sorry I'm such a mess.
Not that it matters,
since you're clearly
not attracted to me.
Was it the kissing you
then running out of the room screaming?
That was a hint.
By the way, if you're
looking for your shoes,
I dropped them off.
Oh, thanks.
My balcony.
Listen, Charlotte, I'm sorry.
I was talking to Felix
and he made me realize
if I wanted this to last,
then I should hold off
on being physical until we're closer.
Really? 'Cause I talked to Dani,
and she said we should have sex.
Remind me to give Dani a raise.
Well, now I understand
why you left like that.
Yeah, I was just trying to hold off
until we had a real
emotional connection.
Well, I'm glad you did.
'Cause I like you, Oscar.
I really want this to work.
Am I wrong, or...
are we getting emotionally
connected right now?
Feels like we are, doesn't it?
And if we're...
emotionally connected, then we can...
I think we have to.
Everything okay?
Yeah. Just making sure it's you.
It is.
Oscar, same clothes as last night?
Is this what the kids
call the walk of shame?
Oh, no, I did what you said.
We talked, we connected,
we got really close.
And then we, well...
you know.
Yes, we know. Sex.
You had sex.
You gave her the
business. You got it on.
You made hot animal love
until the sun came up.
We get it!
Well, that was inappropriate.
Oh, hey, Felix.
Time to take Biscuit
for a walk in the park.
Can't wait. Let me grab my coat.
What's this? Are you
becoming a dog person now?
Well, Emily is my gal,
and she loves her Biscuit,
so there is nothing that
I wouldn't do for them.
Aw.
Oh Felix, we need a
plastic bag for his poop.
Okay, have fun, you two.