The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 4, Episode 6 - The Summer Bummer - full transcript

Previously on The O.C.:

-What's the plan?
-To set them loose.

Pancakes.

-Can you tell us who else was involved?
-No, I'm sorry.

-Did you tell?
-Needed a scapegoat.

-I protected you.
-lf I serve this in, you go out with me.

-You're 1 5.
-So a kiss is out?

My wife started a business and she
and her partner are taking on investors.

-And her partner is newly single.
-Bang!

-He wants to talk numbers Monday.
-Who?

-Bullitt. He loves NewMatch.
-What are you doing here?



-You date my dad?
-You know each other?

-Kiss me.
-What?

If you don't feel anything,
I will never mention it again.

One kiss.

What's cooking, Ryan?

Hey, Ryan. Ryan.

I schmeered it for you.

Thanks.

-ls everything okay?
-Yeah.

-Just gonna go see if Seth's up.
-I am up, and I'm out of here.

-What?
-Didn't know you were planning a trip.

Neither does Summer,
but RlSD sent my dorm info.

So I figured I'd check out my new home
and give her moral support for finals.

-Are you gonna eat that?
-Are you sure that's a good idea?



-Did Ryan do something to it?
-Not the bagel, the trip.

I thought you were
gonna give Summer more space.

Little space turned into
a lot of missing me. That's my cab.

E-mail me a Chrismukkah list.
I'll be shopping at their mall.

They have carpeting, which is weird...

...they have a Dave & Buster's,
but parking sucks.

Hey, I really need to talk to you.
It's important.

Okay, and I wanna hear all about it.
When I land in Providence, just call me.

Call me.

So we've had a chance
to review your situation...

...and the board has come
to a unanimous decision.

Effective immediately, you are suspended
from this university until next fall.

-Suspended?
-Breaking into that lab was very serious.

If it wasn't for your excellent record,
the Board might have involved the police.

I'm sorry, I'm just not sure
what I'm supposed to do now.

It's done.
You can go to the dorm and start packing.

-But I have finals. And friends.
-I'm afraid you're no longer a student here.

But my dad is living in Seattle
with the stepmonster.

Taylor Townsend is sleeping in my old bed.
Seth was moving so we could be together.

Ms. Roberts, you need to go home.

This is my home.

It's just you and me now.

Summer bear.

I heard the iron fist of justice came crashing
down on you swiftly, without mercy.

Yup. Sounds like your plan
worked out perfectly.

Oh, come on, that's not fair.

Back at the reservation, they taught us...

...sometimes, the weaker gazelle must be
devoured for the good of the herd.

Che, just shut up, okay?

Before I tie you up with hemp rope,
set you on fire...

...and get high off the fumes
from your burning flesh.

Dark.

I think the fact
that you would use hemp...

...proves that I have
made a difference in your life.

Yeah, Che, you have.

You got me thrown out of school.

You know, I really liked this place.

I liked who I was becoming at it.
This was my life.

And you sacrificed it
for the good of the-- The cause.

You're a martyr. You're a hero.

I just wanted to be a student.

If you'll excuse me,
I have to find my roommate...

...and tell her that she now has a single.

-Are you dirty, Ryan?
-Ryan?

-Hello?
-Hey.

I couldn't help but notice
that you wanted to talk to Seth.

-Oh, did l?
-Well, since he's out of town...

...and he's gonna be moving out,
you're gonna need a new Seth.

Don't tell Sandy,
but I thought I would audition for the job.

Oh, yeah, well, that's very thoughtful.

So how does it work?
Do I ask you what's on your mind?

Usually, you talk about yourself
and I solve my problems on my own.

I couldn't help but notice
you've been spending time with Taylor.

Really? Have l?

If we're gonna talk about girls, I am a far
more knowledgeable resource than my son.

Okay. But you can't repeat this,
all right?

If the real Seth found out I was telling
the substitute Seth a real secret....

-It's in the vault.
-Okay.

I kissed Taylor. Or she kissed me.
Anyway, there was a kiss, and--

-Now you can't stop thinking about her.
-Pretty much.

-That is so cute.
-Okay, Seth never does that.

Sorry. But it is. And so is she.

Yeah, I know, it's just, me and Taylor?

After everything you've been through
over the last few months...

...if something good happens,
shouldn't you embrace it...

...or at least be open to the possibility?

You're right. You're right. Thanks.

Okay. So do I get the job?

You're on the short list.

Spencer.
What brings you to Casa de Cooper?

-Your racket.
-You restrung it for me.

That's so sweet.

Yeah, I went with the Proflex Fibertour.
Should cut down on the tension.

Good, because I've been having
a lot of stress lately.

-Could use a little bit of relaxing.
-String tension, Kaitlin.

Well, now that you and my mom are over,
maybe you can help me with my stroke.

Yeah, right.
Look, you got a great backhand.

But, no offense,
I kind of have a no-jailbait policy.

Lame.

You know, maybe you should try
meeting guys from your school.

-You mean boys.
-Exactly.

Because you're in high school.

You know, that place with desks
and chalkboards and kids.

Those are people your own age.

I don't know, maybe-- Maybe you should
try hanging out with them.

Hi, Ryan.

-I gotta go. Can't talk.
-I'm not here to see you.

-I'm just covering for Seth while he's gone.
-That's nice.

-Sorry that I kissed you.
-What?

-No, it's cool.
-It's obviously not okay.

You're totally uncomfortable
around me now.

No, no. It's--
The kiss is not a problem.

Really? Good, because usually
when I kiss a guy, it ends in tears.

His, not mine.
Because I'm a bit of a lip-biter.

And, you know,
sometimes I draw blood and....

-Taylor?
-Yeah?

-What are you doing tonight?
-Updating my blog.

It's kind of Felicity by way of Ana?s Nin.
The erotic memoirs of a soulful college girl--

Taylor, tonight. Are you busy?

Oh, blog, shmog.

-ls that a yes?
-Yes, it is a yes squared...

...in all caps with an exclamation mark
and a smiley-faced emoticon.

-A simple yes will do.
-Yes.

Great, I'll see you tonight.

Do you just wanna come up
to the comic book store?

There's a flat-screen TV,
surround-sound, a bevy of Blu-ray anime.

All right. See you then.

-Hey, Eric.
-Kaitlin, hey. What are you doing here?

Seems like people at this school like to
watch hairless wonders in banana slings.

-Just trying to fit in.
-Oh, cool. Good to see you.

Ask her.

-You ask her.
-I'm not gonna ask her.

-I wondered who she is and I asked you--
-Do you bitches have a problem?

-We saw you talking to Eric Ward.
-Oh, my God, he is so hot.

-Do you know him?
-I know his brother shaves his chest.

Seriously? That is so--

Gayer than his dad, I know.

-You're Kaitlin Cooper, aren't you?
-Yes.

-I'm Olivia. This is Leah.
-Hi.

Cool. Do you guys think anyone would
notice if I sparked a J by the bleachers?

That is so totally illegal.

Is there a reason why you aren't home?

Riley, hey. We--

Came to cheer on your boyfriend.
Connor's doing awesome.

That's because he is awesome.

Now get going. Those party invites
aren't gonna address themselves.

Okay.

Why do you let her talk to you like that?

She's having a pimps and ho's party
for her sweet 1 6.

-It's gonna be awesome.
-lf we don't help out, we don't go.

-So don't go.
-Yeah. That would be social suicide.

Everyone who's anyone at this school
is going to that party.

No offense.

Come on, Leah.

If you change your minds,
I'll be by the bleachers.

-Sure.
-Gotcha.

How's the East Coast treating you?

Too soon to tell. I had a layover in Salt Lake
and then I got delayed in Poughkeepsie.

-It's hard to get a direct flight last-minute.
-At least you made it.

-Summer surprised to see you?
-I'm headed over there right now.

Got an all-night study package.
I scored a brick of Dunkin' Donuts coffee...

...and some reasonably-priced meth
from this homeless guy.

She'll appreciate the pick-me-up.
Very thoughtful.

And how are things with you?
I know you wanted to talk.

Things are weird.

And about to get a lot weirder.

-That wasn't vague or ominous at all.
-I'll explain later.

-Well, good luck.
-Back at you.

I know you're unhappy,
but you've been out with seven men.

You mean seven versions
of the same man.

Republican real estate developer,
hates his ex-wife, loves golf.

This is Newport. Live in a monkey cage,
you have to date chimps.

Well, maybe you could
throw a gorilla into the mix.

I appreciate the analogy.
But Pam, how do we fix this?

Find me a man who will surprise me.
Someone different.

Your prayers have been answered.

I tell you, the women are well-preserved
in this town.

-lf my slacks weren't so damn tight--
-Bullitt, what are you doing here?

I thought you were gonna be
a silent partner.

Oh, I ain't here to work.
Came to see my girlfriend.

-What? No, I am not--
-Car's waiting outside.

Dinner's planned. I'd invite blondie,
but she don't look much like an eater.

Oh, that's a shame.
I'm gonna let you two figure this out.

-See you in the morning.
-Kirsten....

Okay, I am not having dinner with you.
A, you repulse me. And B, I'm busy.

Well, A, that's cool.
Two, busy doing what?

A client is unhappy with our man-base,
so I have to go on a recruiting mission.

Or you can just put them
in the Bullitt's line of fire.

While the client is looking
for something out of the norm...

..."lunatic" probably isn't her type.

-Have dinner with me. A cocktail?
-No. No.

-Then let's just make out.
-I can hurt you.

Wow. Call me.

Isn't this just great?

I mean, did you ever think
that decapitation could be so beautiful?

-How many times have you seen this?
-I watch it every night.

-Helps relax me.
-Right.

Is everything okay?

I'm sorry.

So that's a no.

I can't do this.

Okay. I've done my fair share
of misreading signs in my life.

But you asked me to hang out.
You sat next to me.

You leaned in
with a slight tilt of your head.

I know, I know, and I'm sorry.

You're a great girl.
It's just, this is too weird.

That makes me feel so much better.

Me. Not you, me. I'm...

...weird.

Surprise!

Cohen?

-Cohen.
-Hey. Where are you?

-Where are you?
-I'm in your room.

I'm in your room.

Summer, I was gonna surprise you.

-Well, I'm surprised.
-Yeah, me too. Why aren't you in school?

Because I got kicked out.

Summer, what did you do?

I listened to stupid Che and his stupid plan
and he sold me down the stupid river.

I knew anyone that sincere
was not to be trusted.

I miss it already.

-I don 't know what to do.
-Yeah, well, I do.

-What?
-lf he hurt you, then I'm gonna hurt him.

That's funny.
See, I knew you could cheer me up.

I'm serious. At least act like it's halfway
feasible I could avenge your honor.

Wait, you're serious? No. No, no.

-I'm gonna go so Ryan Atwood on his ass.
-Wait, come on, Cohen, I don't like this.

-And neither will Che.
-No, wait, don't.

So Kirsten told me she came in yesterday
and applied for the job of substitute Seth.

-She may have.
-Well, you know...

...if anyone's qualified,
I think we all know it's me.

I'm thinking the reason you didn't ask
is because no interview was necessary.

It turns out
I may not have to fill the position.

I handled the whole Taylor thing.

Although it may be
a little awkward for a while.

-What happened?
-Nothing happened.

-Which was the problem for her.
-Yeah. Yeah.

But now I don't know.

At first, I thought I was caught up
in the whole Volchok thing.

Then I thought the problem might have been
Taylor, because she can be a little weird.

-She's a touch eccentric.
-But now I think the problem's me.

Maybe it's too soon.

So keep it casual.

You know, just tell her
you need to be friends for now.

-Yeah, that's a line every girl loves to hear.
-Well, if it's the truth, she'll understand.

Well, I don't have any other choice.
All right, I'll give it a shot.

Great. Anything else,
I'm gonna be in my room...

...reading comics and listening to indie rock.
All right.

-That was good Seth.
-Were you a good Ryan?

I was gonna borrow one
from the Julie Cooper playbook.

Wait till he's asleep,
smother him with a pillow.

Oh, my hero.

The guy was at
some all-night candlelight vigil.

Still, he's gotta sleep sometime.

This place reeks of incense
and righteousness.

-Oh, that's Che's musk. Look, be careful.
-He's not in his room.

-Neither was your roommate last night.
-Yeah, that's because she's a huge slut.

Wait a minute, what's this?

What? I don't know.
I'm on the phone, I can 't see.

Hello, Seth. News of your vendetta
has reached my ears.

Is that Che? What's happening?

I am a pacifist.

Until cooler heads prevail,
I will be underground.

Peace.

-Peace.
-He' s on the run? That coward.

I ' m gonna watch it again
for background noise, visual cues...

...anything that might tip me off.

No, Cohen,
Che has had survival training, okay?

He's probably hiding in a cave
with Osama Bin Laden.

Look, forget about him.
I need you and I'm here.

All right, but for the record,
I did not back down.

And I love you for it.

-Come home.
-Okay.

Summer? What are you doing here?

Oh, I slept out here.
Turns out I like nature.

And Taylor's in my bed.

No, I mean,
what are you doing here in Newport?

Long story.

Well, then if you need anything,
or you just wanna talk, I'm here for you.

-Thanks.
-You should reclaim your bedroom.

Taylor has boundary issues.

Is that a bunny?

Okay, so if I don't call your name,
that means you're not coming.

All the hot senior guys
already got their invites.

Jeanne.

Thank you.

-Kristen.
-Kristen.

-Sarah.
-She's got to invite us, right?

She better.
We stayed up all night licking envelopes.

-Alexis.
-Oh, Alexis.

Michelle.

Yeah, Shana.

And lastly, me.

Wait. What about us?

I didn't know you'd ruin the envelopes
with your heinous saliva stains.

Whole school could get
gonorrhea of the throat.

-But you promised!
-Exactly!

-I'm afraid it would be unsanitary.
-You guys can all come to my party.

-It's tonight, my house.
-What?

Well, I rented out Hyde.

You know that chef who yells at people?
He's making sushi.

And Danity Kane is playing
a 25-minute set.

Well, sushi's high in mercury
and Danity Kane sucks.

I've got five kegs, a quarter ounce,
and absolutely no parents.

Sweet.

Bring whoever you guys want.
And don't worry about any lame costumes.

-Thanks.
-That was nice, inviting us to your party.

-lt sounds like fun.
-lt will be.

We get to go to a....

You wanna join NewMatch?
I don't understand.

The application fee is rather steep
and most of our female clients are over 35.

Look, you need new recruits, right?

So sign us up. Here's a check to cover it.

-And I believe this is for you.
-And I think I know who it is.

-Bang! Am I good, or am I good?
-What do you think you're doing?

Well, money may not buy love or happiness,
but it'll buy a whole lot of bachelors.

I think you owe me
a weekend as a thanks.

-No, I can't. I already have plans.
-Cancel them.

I'm going away for the weekend
with Kirsten and Sandy.

To the Montage. It's their anniversary.

You're celebrating their anniversary?

They're having a recommitment ceremony
and I am their witness.

Well, that's the sweetest thing
I've ever heard. See you there.

-The Bullitt?
-Bang.

-Taylor.
-Ryan.

Didn't run away that time,
so you must not be that scared of me.

All right, look, I just wanted to come by
and apologize about last night, and....

-And I didn't know you had company.
-Roger, Ryan. Ryan, Roger.

-Roger.
-Ryan.

I've been helping Roger track down
this Kinji Fukasaku biography.

It turns out that he watches Bloodbath IV
every night before he goes to bed too.

-Wow, that's--
-Kismet? I know.

Maybe it's too soon
to talk about fate, but....

Yeah, anyway, I just wanted to see
if you needed a ride home or anything.

-Oh, I got my bike, thanks.
-Not you.

Well, that is very friendly of you, Ryan.

Since I'm assuming that's
what you want us to be, just friends.

-Well, if you're cool with that.
-Ryan Atwood, mon ami. Sounds terrif.

But Roger and I were just gonna hang out
and order some takeout...

...so if you don't mind....

All right, well, you know,
I'll see you, then.

-Bye, friend.
-Bye, Ryan.

-Nice to meet you, man.
-Bye, Roger.

I wanted to show you this. I really think
you guys should look at this one.

That's probably why you work here.

Yeah, I talked to my dad today.
He was pretty disappointed in me.

Well, I'm leaving
the Antelope Valley airport now.

So there's just the $1 00
cab ride home.

-Just get here soon, okay?
-Okay. I love you.

That was fast.

I've come to atone for my sins.

Just circle around the block with the kegs.
I have to get my mother out of the house.

What, or convince her to let me
throw a huge party with underage drinking?

Yeah, I have to get her out of the house.

Are you going somewhere?

Oh, yeah, I'm going to the Montage
with Sandy and Kirsten.

Just for the weekend.

Going to a hotel with Sandy and Kirsten.

They're not spicing their relationship up,
are they?

Please. Sandy and Kirsten?

Yeah, they don't exactly
scream "threesome."

Just how old are you?

So I guess I can assume you'll be
fine without me this weekend.

Well, I think I can survive.

Now, if you need anything,
Summer and Taylor are in charge.

Wait, Summer is here?

If you're really gonna dehydrate camped out
on the lawn, I'll get you some water. Hi!

So you don't believe that I'm thirsty, huh?
Now you think I'm a liar.

-And a chicken and a snake and a rat.
-Well, those are all God's creatures.

And they're all fallible.
I made a mistake.

It wasn't a mistake. You used me.

I cannot go on with my life
with this issue unresolved.

So let's go out on the lawn
and have a truth circle.

Your opportunity to tell me
how you're feeling.

I have. I hate you. Now leave.

This can't be fixed by some candlelight
vigil or a petition, okay?

And I'm not some tree
that you can just chain yourself to.

We'll see about that.

What--? What did you do?
This is not funny. Give me the key.

I cannot unlock us
until we are done healing.

Be prepared to stay here
for the rest of your life...

...because that is never gonna happen.

A weekend away at the Montage.
Honey, you've outdone yourself.

I don't know about that.

No, listen, I'm gonna be
paying you back later tonight.

-Guess who packed Scrabble.
-There's just one small wrinkle...

...in this otherwise charming
and romantic holiday I forgot to share.

I TiVoed the Australian Open.
Tiger's gonna take it anyway.

Well, just one more thing.

Tell me at least he's got a separate room.

Sandra Cohen. You're looking lovely.

If my date didn't look so hot,
I might scope you out.

Well, I'm jealous. Who is the lucky date?

Hi, sorry I'm late.

-I owe you both bigtime.
-I'll make this up to you tonight.

I am so damn honored to be here
with you and Kirsten...

...for your recommitment ceremony.

I am crying already. Real tears.

Come on, let's eat.

Wait until you see
the Takeshi Kitano maquette.

Battle Royale. Can't top it.

I kept him in his original packaging,
so no groping.

-Summer? Che?
-Taylor.

-Taylor.
-Roger, Summer, Che.

-Roger.
-Summer, Che.

-What are you doing?
-I live here again.

-I moved your stuff into the guest room.
-Are you handcuffed to each other?

As a matter of fact, we are.

Summer Roberts, you learned a few things
from that college roommate of yours.

-When does Seth arrive?
-No, it's not like that.

Don't talk to him. He's not here.

-lgnoring me won't make me go.
-How about killing you?

To which guest room
did you move my things?

I'll show you.

What was that?

Get--

These things weigh a ton.

That's why you're pushing them
and not me.

Kaitlin, what is going on?

Just having a few friends
over to my house.

It's my house. I think.

Kaitlin, you cannot have a party.
Your mother left me in charge.

-She left me in charge.
-lf you want-- Kaitlin, is it?

--I'd be happy to entertain your guests
with some festive tribal music.

The didgeridoo's in the car.
You love the didge. We're friends again?

Okay, freak. Summer, why is this guy
handcuffed to your wrist?

Nope, there's no one handcuffed
to my wrist. He doesn't exist.

Also kind of freaky. Okay, you guys,
hurry up. We gotta tap these kegs.

-Because we're running out of time.
-Excuse me.

-Kaitlin!
-Kaitlin!

Roger!

You won't believe your eyes.

These girls are wild.

Get out of here now!

Ride with me, Ryan.

So the good news is my frequent
flyer miles just reached platinum.

Bad news is they don't change
the in-flight movie.

And Failure to Launch does not hold up
on the third viewing.

-What are you doing here?
-Summer got kicked out.

-I'm about to head over there.
-Can I come?

I appreciate your interest, but I think
this is a conversation just for the two of us.

-ls Taylor gonna be there?
-I assume so.

-I like her.
-Say what now?

Why would you even think that?

Because I keep imagining her
on roller skates...

...and washing windows
with a big bucket of soapy water.

Dude, your fantasies are so pedestrian.
A sudsy girl? That's so average.

-Doesn't mean it's not hot.
-I guess they call them classics for a reason.

Do you wanna drive or should l?

Again!

Okay, game night.
Who wants to play Pictionary, huh?

Come on, guys, get high on life!

Hey. Hey! Cut it out! I tan on this chair.

Hey, if you are gonna consummate
your union, be safe.

-Out of my way, wasteoid.
-Hey, stay alive. Don't drink and drive.

-Che, shut up.
-Where's Kaitlin?

Again!

You guys, your seven minutes is up.

And I'm next.

It's Connor.

Oh, Riley's gonna die.

I mean, it's bad enough
you didn't go to her party.

She doesn't have to know.
Come on, Kaitlin.

-Oh, my gosh.
-Man.

You're so hot.
Why don't I ever see you around school?

Because I don't really like school.

So are we gonna make out or what?
Because the clock is kind of ticking.

Or we could talk more.

I mean, you seem really interesting.

I'm not. Let's make out.

Are you afraid of cheating on Riley?

No. I don't even like her.

So what's the problem?

Are you gay?

What? No.

I don't-- I don't-- I don't think so.

Sweetheart, you're so gay.

I know the Jews are good with numbers
and lending stuff.

Now, there's a generalization
that's not even remotely offensive.

Well, hold on there, Hebrew.

It's just, if you all control the media,
why does everyone know?

Why not use the media
to say someone else controls it?

Would cause
a lot less resentment that way.

You know what?
We should talk about something else.

Dinner was delicious.

Like you ate. Oh, I know what they say:

" Eat light on Saturday night."

Less food in the stomach for the booze.

Bullitt, Kirsten doesn't drink.

-Time for bed, I have a headache.
-Guess she doesn't do that, either.

Thank you, Gordon.

Your point of view regarding the Middle
East is something I will treasure forever.

Well, all I said was, "lran-lraq war,
whoever loses, we win."

-Let's see if we can cancel our room.
-Sounds like a plan. Good night.

-Good night.
-Good night.

-What about their wedding vows?
-That was a lie...

...told to avoid you,
because you are an ignorant buffoon.

Now, if you'll excuse me...

...I'm gonna try and salvage my friendship
with Sandy and Kirsten.

You want some more coffee?

-Let's split up.
-All right. Good luck.

You too.

Taylor? Taylor?

-Ryan?
-Roger, hey.

Keep doing what you're doing.
I was looking for Taylor.

-But clearly she's--
-Who's Taylor?

Is this your boyfriend?

-Taylor isn't in there with you guys, is she?
-No.

Okay. What are you doing, man?
I mean, I think Taylor really likes you.

-And you're kind of leading her on.
-I barely even know her.

She told me if I pretended to like her,
she'd give me her Kitano action figure.

-It's extremely rare.
-Wait, she paid you to pretend to like her?

That sounds like Taylor.

All right, well, carry on.

-Breaking up protestors--
-Well, well, well.

You crawled out of your cave.

Seth. Perhaps with your presence,
we can broker some peace.

What are you doing here, sandals?
Ruining Summer's life wasn't enough?

Cohen. You're here.

Yeah. Now I wanna see
what this guy's got to say for himself.

Please, Seth.
Summer and I are on a journey together.

A journey towards the truth.

-You're on a journey. To the pool.
-What?

What? No. Cohen.

No one came to my party.

-So you dressed like a ho for no reason.
-I changed before I came here.

Look, you win. Okay?
I'll serve your command.

-The school is yours.
-Except I don't want it.

Just be nicer to your friends.

Connor's totally gay.

Hi, 91 1?

Yeah, I'd like to report
a totally lame party.

I'm a worthless coward.

And you're a glorious martyr.

Sorry.
I didn't realize about the handcuffs.

Oh, no, it's all Che's fault.

It's my fault.

Just know I hate myself
more than you could ever hate me.

-I'm capable of a lot of hate.
-It's true.

You're my best friend, Summer.

Other kids joined so it'll look
good on their grad school applications.

But you, you really believed
in the good we were doing.

And we did a lot of good.

I let you down, I know. And I'm sorry.

I liberated those bunnies because
I believed that they should be set free.

And I knew the consequences
if I got caught.

Look, I can't spend my whole life
blaming you, so I accept your apology.

With an asterisk next to it.

And there's a footnote at the bottom
and it says you don't deserve it.

Yeah.

You're so much more enlightened
than I could ever hope to be.

I think I need to blow my nose.

-Could you unlock us first?
-Okay.

I guess now we are free
to take our own paths.

-Yours leads toward the airport.
-Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I should be going.

-You ready, Dalton?
-Your bags are packed, Winchester.

-Winchester?
-Winchester?

-Why do you think they call me Che?
-Your father's G4 is waiting on the tarmac.

-I thought you grew up on a reservation.
-lt was a reservation.

A beautiful reservation.

Before it became a family compound
that's all gated.

My dad owns a pharmaceutical company,
some factories in Mexico.

Well, I guess every kid finds a way
to rebel against their parents.

Goodbye, caterpillar.

And defender of caterpillar's honor.

-Namaste, brother.
-Okay.

So he was a liar, a coward and a hypocrite.
At least he had depth.

I guess I am really back home again.

Which is great,
except now I have to leave.

-Taylor.
-Ryan.

What are you doing?

Someone wrote " I love poop"
on this poor boy's face.

That kind of thing can scar you for life.

What are you doing paying your gay friend
Roger to pretend he's in love with you?

Well, what if I did?

What if I did
rent a homosexual for the evening?

And pay him with rare collectibles
from Asian cinema?

-What difference does it make to you?
-It's a little strange.

Well, so am l. Which is why
you ran away from me last night.

No, it wasn't because you're strange.

-You don't find me strange?
-No, I do, but it's not why I took off.

Look, I'm not really ready
for a relationship right now. Or a girlfriend.

Girlfriend? Cart, horse.

Aren't you getting
a little ahead of yourself there?

Well, I mean, just because I wanna
use your body as a jungle gym...

...doesn't mean that
we have to get married.

-I see.
-My divorce papers aren't even dry yet.

Look, you're a sweet, smart, great guy,
Ryan Atwood.

And hot. Did I mention hot?

So whatever happens, happens.

-Taylor, that's--
-Normal? Yeah.

I have my moments.

You know,
this is my first high school bash.

Have you ever played
Seven Minutes in Heaven?

Thanks to you, Sandy and Kirsten
are packed and on the road.

I'm sorry, Julie.

When God was handing out brains,
I guess I was sitting on the toilet.

I swear, you make me all nervous inside.

So you only act like a bigot
and a sexist pig around me?

No, I just feel worse about it
when you're around.

-You're such a classy and elegant dame.
-Well, that is true.

Look, I was trying so hard
to make you laugh.

And I know what a hard time
you've been through and l--

Just came out all wrong.

I appreciate that, Gordon.

So I guess you're headed
on home now too.

Are you kidding?
I put the room on the company card.

-Got a mud bath in the morning.
-Since I ruined dinner, how about breakfast?

Breakfast? Okay.

So should I call you or nudge you?

Bang. Now, that was funny.

You have a pretty smile.
It's my job to get you to use it more.

-Then you're gonna need better material.
-Well, I am working on it.

Good night, Julie.

Can't we be left alone?

It's probably Julie. She felt terrible.

Well, I'll bet she did.
She spent the night with the Bullitt.

Hello. I was told you two
are renewing your vows.

I'm a justice of the peace
to preside the ceremony.

-I'm sorry, that was an excuse.
-Yeah, we didn't call for anyone.

I was hired by a Gordon Bullitt.

-Hello?
-Julie. Hey, it's Spencer.

I just wanted to call and say thanks.

-Had a great night.
-I would assume so. It's pretty late.

I'll give you your cut
when you get back into town?

My cut? No, Spencer--

You pay to join the service.
Your date doesn't pay you. That--

That's illegal. You're not a gigolo.

Right. Open phone line. Got it. My bad.

Anyway, you got yourself
one satisfied customer. Well, see you.

Spencer, wait--

-Spencer?
-I wish.

But it's probably for the best.

I am tin roof rusted.

Pam. So you had a good night?

Worth every penny.
And I'll be telling all my friends.

And what will you be
telling them, exactly?

Okay, seven minutes are up.
Said you wanted to take it slow.

Yeah, well, I don't think
eight minutes would be rushing it.

Nine seems like a good pace.

And 1 0 is a nice, round number.

We could try
the long-distance thing again.

I've got a lot of frequent flyer miles
and we survived one semester apart.

Yeah, barely.

Why don't you move to Providence?
Get a job.

You'll be in school and
I'll be slinging baba ganoush...

...while kids are living the life
I should be having.

You know,
I've really been enjoying home lately.

Ryan's back
and I've been bonding with the Newpsies.

Maybe I could put off RlSD
for a semester.

We could both go back together
in the fall.

You'd really put off college for me?

Rhode lsland's a big place.
Better we tackle it together.

-Cohen, Rhode lsland's the smallest state.
-I was kidding.

Right.

There's just one more thing.

This is Pancakes.

Pancakes is very important to me.

Then you can hold it.
I'm not an animal person.

Cohen, Pancakes is my daughter.
Or my son, I'm not really sure.

-He's your son.
-You know, he kind of looks like you.

Feel how soft he is.

Yeah. He's beautiful.

Take a look around, Pancakes.
This is your new home.

What's the lifespan
on one of these things?

-Hey.
-I'm just curious. I'm asking.

Infinity.