The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 4, Episode 14 - The Shake Up - full transcript

Previously on The O.C.:

Is articulating feelings to your girlfriend
a challenge?

- And how do you feel?
- I...

I see the great love of your life.

- It's George.
- George?

- I'm here to offer you a job.
- He heard about my work with sea otters...

...invited me to travel across the country
and talk to college kids about voting.

Call Jason Spitz.
You're always saying how funny he is.

- I don't have that many guy friends.
- Who's got the time?

Where the heck's your mom?

I know I asked you to be my stepdad...



...but do you mind
being my friend instead?

- Tell me what it is that you love about Julie.
- We're just from the same world.

I'm not buying you lingerie
for your birthday.

That's fine. I told you,
you don't have to buy me anything.

You and Ryan are throwing me
a party, that's enough.

You've never had a party,
let alone been to one...

...but people get presents
for their birthday.

Will you please tell me
what you want?

Okay, honestly?

I want Ryan to ask me
to go to Berkeley with him next year.

- I was thinking along the lines of a cute top.
- I know. It's just that I'm a planner.

I'm seeing that day 6 months in the future
when we go our separate ways.

And I just know
that if Ryan goes to Berkeley...

...and I go to Harvard or Princeton
or Oxford, then it's over.



Don't you have to apply to Berkeley first
in order to...?

- You applied to Berkeley? Does Ryan know?
- No, I applied before we started dating.

I just got back from France,
and I had to go somewhere.

So I reapplied to Princeton, Oxford, Yale,
Harvard and the Sorbonne.

And I figured,
why not throw Berkeley in?

- Hi. Could we get two coffees, please?
- Yeah.

So you wanna get Ryan to tell you
that he wants you to go to Berkeley...

...without knowing you already got in?
- Exactly.

- How you gonna do that?
- Easy. Get him to tell me that he loves me.

Ryan talking about his feelings.
That would be an earth-shattering event.

Careful, they're hot.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

You see this,
about earthquake weather?

It's exactly this kind of voodoo science
that lets politicians deny global warming.

Oh, my God, I know.
How many times have they predicted...

..."the big one" and it never happens?

It almost makes you wish that it would.

Hey.

- Good morning.
- What's the occasion?

You're being so sweet throwing me a party
and I wanted to thank you, so...

- Did I ever tell you about how...?
- How you've never had a birthday party?

And you've spent every birthday
alone in your room...

...watching Sixteen Candles and talking
to a gypsy on the psychic hotline?

Yeah, I know, I'm a broken record.
It just...

It really means a lot to me
that you're doing this for me.

Taylor, I'll tell you,
planning your birthday party is not easy.

I expect something in return.

I expect to have my way with you.

- Ryan.
- Well, all the time and energy...

...clowns, balloons, a magician.

- Oh, well, if there's a magician...
- Yeah.

It's kind of strange to think
about all of this ending, isn't it?

You going off to Berkeley.

Me, whichever way the wind blows.

- Well, it's still six months away.
- Right. Yeah.

If only I had a crystal ball, huh?

Maybe I should call Esmeralda
from the psychic hotline.

- This is a really good croissant.
- Don't you feel...

...that we're on the cusp of something
and we just need to leap into the void?

- Did you get these at Joe's?
- Ryan, don't you have that feeling?

- What?
- That life is telling us...

...to take a wild, impulsive jump
into the unknown?

Not really.

So you're good?
You don't have a need...

...to just let something explode out of you,
consequences be damned?

- What are we talking about?
- Well, I was...

I guess it's just my birthday
and I'm getting sentimental.

All right. Well, don't worry.
It's gonna be great, okay?

All right. I gotta go. Thanks for this.

Hey, tonight, you wanna do something?
See a movie?

Yeah, sure. Okay.

All right, great.

All right.

Oh, come on. Yes, you did.

You know it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hi, honey.
Sorry, I didn't hear you coming down.

Look, Mom, do you mind?

- I still have to eat in here.
- What can I get you?

Want scrambled eggs?
Or I could whip up pancakes.

You cook too? That's amazing.

Oh, it's just a talent I have.

Yeah, one of many.

- I'm seriously never gonna stop barfing.
- Kaitlin, don't be gross.

Me, gross? What's gross is Frank's dirty,
germy convict bag sitting on the counter.

Did the warden give that to you
as a going-away present?

- Kaitlin...
- It's okay. It's okay.

It shouldn't be on the counter.

Though I actually got it at REI.

Well, why bother with a bag?
You can just move in.

- You spend enough time here anyway.
- Young lady, apologize.

I'm sorry, Frank.

Feel free to have as many conjugal visits
as you'd like.

You know, I should get going.
I've got a job interview.

- I'll walk you out.
- Okay.

And we'll talk later.

- Nice to see you.
- You too.

Mrs. Cohen?

Holly.

I went to Harbor with Seth.

- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

Are you here for prenatal yoga?

Yes, I am. And you?

Yes, I just found out.
How far along are you?

- Not very. I just found out too.
- Well, this class is great.

I told Missy, the instructor,
I've worked way too hard for this body...

...to just let it turn
into some dumpy baby factory.

I mean, who says I can't have a baby
and a six-pack?

- I should probably stretch before class.
- Hold on just a second.

Hey, ho's, come here.

This is Mrs. Cohen,
she just found out she's pregnant.

- Oh, my God!
- Congratulations!

And you're not even showing.

So should we let her in?

- Oh, yeah.
- Totally. She's ripped.

We formed a club.

Promised ourselves we wouldn't turn out
like Molly the Mammoth over there.

In nine months, I'm wearing my bikini.

I don't care what anyone says.

I told Jerry if I get too big,
I'm inducing at eight months.

It's easier to lose the weight.

Do you want in?
We call ourselves the Six-Pack Pack.

Isn't that, like, so cute?
Don't you just wanna barf?

All the time.

- Summer, what's up?
- Hey.

I am just picking up Seth.

Taking him to an art exhibition
sponsored by GEORGE:

Global Environmental Organization
Regarding Greenhouse Emissions.

- Seth's going to an art show?
- He's going to art school.

I like the environment,
so I thought it was the perfect date.

Sure.

- So are you ready for Taylor's party?
- Oh, yeah. Party's all set.

- Even got her a present.
- Really? Mind telling me what it is?

Well, you know how she likes
translating those French love poems?

I collected a few,
had them bound for her.

Atwood, that is so romantic.

Well, nothing's as romantic as the first time
you tell someone you love them, though.

I haven't told Taylor I love her.

- You haven't?
- Has she said something?

No, no. I just assumed.
You guys have been together for a while...

...and you seem pretty happy and thought,
"Why wouldn't you have said, 'I love you'?"

- I have an idea. Why don't you?
- What?

For her birthday. You should,
because the book of poems is awesome...

...but add that special little "I love you."

As a girl, I don't know,
me personally, I got chills.

Does Taylor expect me to tell her
that I love her on her birthday?

What? No. I don't know. I gotta go.

I can't stay, okay?

Well, thanks for meeting me.

- I wanted to talk to you alone.
- You won't do anything pervy, will you?

Kaitlin, I care about your mom.

And considering my past,
I understand why you're suspicious.

I really don't care
that you went to prison.

I mean, the Bullit went to prison
and he was awesome.

You're just boring.

- I'm sorry, but it's just the way it is.
- Well, I have to say, I don't think that's fair.

- You hardly know me.
- Then say something funny.

- What?
- Make me laugh.

Fine.

I don't know
what interests a 15-year-old girl...

...but your mother doesn't think
I'm boring.

Well, that's because
you're sleeping with her.

- Can you not say that?
- What do you want me to say?

Is it true in prison on your first day,
you gotta make someone your bitch?

What about the dropping-the-soap thing?
I mean, really...

...why don't you guys
just install soap dispensers?

Hey, I make your mom happy.

I'm just asking for a chance here, Kaitlin.

Of course.

If it makes my mom happy.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

It's so beautiful. You forget
how the ocean ties us all together.

He's right. If we aren't
good custodians for our planet...

...what right do we have to be here?
Wasn't that amazing?

- I'd give it a three.
- A three?

He put a transmitter in some trash,
threw it in the ocean...

...followed it for six years
all to show how pollution travels.

- You give it a three?
- A three and a half, then.

And when he followed it through the oil fires
in the Persian Gulf and burned his arm?

I know, but the camerawork was terrible.
What film stock was he using?

- The oranges and reds totally bled together.
- He was just trying to show...

...the health of our planet.
- He's also making a movie. As a movie...

...it sucks.
- Well, what about that one?

Where the turtle adopted the hippo
who was lost in the tsunami?

Well, it's pretty much
the nature film equivalent of a chick flick.

Okay. What about that?

Where the family of giraffes' habitat
was destroyed?

Yeah, shot like a perfume ad.

God, what is your problem, Seth?
I want you to get excited about something.

I am, about things that are good.
I could do one of these with my hands tied.

Really? Prove it.

- What?
- Make a movie.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah, I wanna see you do it better.

I wanna go watch the penguins again
and don't you dare say anything.

Hey, I didn't know you were coming by.

I was just at Spitzy's office.
You should have called.

- Everything all right?
- People in Newport are awful.

You're late to the party.
I've been saying that for 20 years.

Well, has it gotten worse?

I know Julie
and some of the others are bad, but...

- What happened?
- I was at this prenatal yoga class.

These young women, they're monsters.

- They wanted me to join the Six-Pack Pack.
- The what?

And inducing labor at 8 months
so they don't have to gain weight.

- Can we raise another child around this?
- Newport's always had that element...

...and still we managed to have a life.
Not everybody's like that.

You know, Spitz has been wanting us
to meet his wife.

How about we do dinner tomorrow?
Restore your faith in humanity.

- All right.
- But more importantly...

...do you think they'll let me join
the Six-Pack Pack?

I've been doing sit-ups. Hit me
with your best shot. Come on, wind up.

I'm not a beast.

Oh, God. He really loves her.

And she's never gonna know how he feels,
because he can't tell her.

- Isn't that tragic?
- Yup.

I mean, how could you do that?

How could you just let
the love of your life slip away...

...because you were too afraid to tell them
how you really felt?

Well, maybe she's better off.

You get that from when
she was about to be burned at the stake?

No, she's beautiful,
he's a hunchback who lives in a bell tower.

- The chances of it working out...
- But he doesn't know that.

If he told her how he felt, maybe
there'd be a way to work things out.

They could have a life together.
Or, you know, at least four more years.

Why did you save me?

- But the archbishop...
- I am not talking about the movie. It's...

There're just moments in everyone's life,
and if you just let them slip away, then...

Then they're gone forever.

I mean, that's the tragic thing about life.

Don't you feel that way?

- Taylor...
- Yeah.

I...

Missed the last part of the movie.

Would you mind rewinding it a little?

Sure.

Thanks.

You're lonely, huh?

Better get used to it, buddy.

- Good morning.
- If you say so.

What's that?

This is the obituary
for mine and Ryan's relationship.

- A rose plucked before its time.
- English?

I wrote a letter
to the dean of Berkeley saying...

...I must decline the scholarship
and he should offer it to the next candidate.

So you're saying no?
But what happened with Ryan?

I tried, Summer. I really did.

The moment was upon us.

We were staring
into each other's eyes, and...

And he just didn't say it.

Sometimes, I wanna grab him
and tie him to a chair...

...and shoot him full of sodium pentothal
and see what spills out.

- Why don't you?
- You don't think it's too crazy?

Because I was thinking if we tackled him,
then tie him down...

But I wasn't talking literally.

Do you love him?

- Yeah, I really do.
- Do you think he loves you?

Well, sometimes he grabs my hand
and he squeezes it for no reason.

- I mean, what else could that mean?
- Okay.

So we just need
to loosen his tongue a little.

But how are we gonna...?

- Summer Roberts, you bad thing.
- Okay, you know what?

A trip to the Roberts' wine cellar
is in order.

What the hell is he doing?

- Morning.
- Morning.

- Hey, you all right?
- Yeah, it's just a cramp.

How far did you go?

- Nine, 10 miles.
- Wouldn't it be easier if you just said:

"There's something bothering me.
Can you give me advice?"

- Yes, it would, but where's the fun in that?
- Let me guess.

You're trying to decide if you love Taylor
so you can tell her on her birthday.

You've been dating a while,
things are good, birthday's tomorrow.

- Bingo.
- Yeah, you're good.

So do you love her?

Honestly, I'm scared.

- Good, you should be.
- Well, that's reassuring.

It might be the most powerful thing
you can say to a person.

Changes everything. For heaven's sake,
if you don't feel it, don't say it.

It's just, I think she's expecting it.
And to not say it...

- It's like saying you don't love her.
- Exactly.

- Well, do you care about her?
- Of course.

Do you enjoy being with her?

- More than with anyone.
- Tell her that.

It won't be exactly what she wants to hear,
but it'll be honest.

- All right.
- Can you tell me something?

- Sure.
- Do you have any idea...

...why Seth is filming the pool?

Hey, check it out. Summer challenged me
to make this pretentious art film...

...so I'm making one called
Six Hours in the Pool.

- Sounds great.
- I'll tell you about it later.

Taylor called, she wants you
to go there for dinner.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, okay.

Oh, it's perfect.

Look, Frank, I get that men have urges.

I imagine prison is one of those places
where those urges get twisted.

- Julie...
- I've never even heard of clown porn.

The photo where they're stuffed
in the little car...

- It's not mine.
- Oh, really?

It was just in your bag along with this?

Which one of us
is supposed to wear this?

- Julie, none of this is mine.
- So someone went into your bag...

...planted a wig and some
really bad clown porn. Who would...?

- Oh, Kaitlin.
- Julie, it's all right.

No, Frank, it's not. My daughter is trying
to sabotage this relationship.

And where would she get her hands
on clown porn?

Look, she's just hazing me.

You know, it'll be good for me to show her
that I can take it.

Look, it'll blow over. It's not serious.

Did you see page 50?

- How much more of this is there?
- Five hours and 58 minutes.

What are you doing?

I'm not gonna sit
and watch six hours of the pool.

I told you to engage in something.
Instead, you set up a tripod.

It's a satire.
It's a comment on the lack of artistic rigor...

No, it's you being lazy. How many naps
did you take while you made this?

I took two to re... Do you feel
like you're overreacting a little bit?

- What does it really matter?
- That's the problem, Seth.

You did this because
you chose the path of least resistance.

You could have made a movie about
anything, and you chose this.

What am I supposed to do?
Follow Ryan until he punches someone?

Yes. Anything that engages you
in the world.

But what is the point?

Well, if nothing else,
it's important to me.

- I'll get your car.
- Thanks.

- Mr. And Mrs. Cohen, go in.
- Thanks.

- Sandy.
- Mr. Spitz.

- How are you? Kirsten, how's it going?
- Hello, Jason.

Listen, I want you to meet my wife.
Come on.

- Sure.
- No way. Really?

- Well, then what did she say?
- Honey, honey.

Oh, my God. What a complete ho-bag.

Honey, come on.

I gotta go. Call me back.

Love you, bitch.

Hi. I am so sorry.

Kirsten and Sandy Cohen,
this is Carrie, my wife.

- It's so nice to meet you.
- You too.

That was my girlfriend. She's having trouble
dating this guy and his wife's like:

"I'll kill you."

Wow, I imagine
that could be a little hard to handle.

Oh, whatever. Not my problem.

So, Carrie, you're from Newport?

Oh, yeah. Born and bred.

Really? Interesting.

Oh, now, Sandy, let's get to it.

How can we convince Jason here to get out
of that soup kitchen he calls an office...

...and get a real job?

Oh, thanks, that's good.

Just for luck.

Actually, Taylor,
I'm not that big a wine drinker.

I know, but you can't have coq au vin
without the vin.

Well, that's true.

Okay.

I feel bad, you making dinner
the day before your birthday.

No, it's my pleasure. Absolutely.

- Oh, sorry.
- It's okay.

I'm nervous
because I've never cooked for you before.

Okay, cheers.

Oh, yeah.

Bottoms up.

- Tasty.
- So, look, Tay... Oh, that's...

So, Taylor, there's something
I wanna talk to you about.

Let's save the serious conversation
for after dinner.

We don't want it to get cold.

- Okay.
- I think I need another sip.

Wow, do you detect a hint
of blackberries?

No, I don't.

Try it. It's fun, come on.

Okay.

- No. Still no blackberries.
- I think you need to take a bigger sip.

You still go to your sorority rush?

Sandy, sisterhood doesn't just end
with graduation.

A Tri-Delt once, a Tri-Delt forever.

Oh, but last year, I got so sick.

- Totally embarrassing.
- I can only imagine.

And I thought, "Carrie, what gives?
Can't you hold your liquor anymore?"

Then I realized
it was just morning sickness.

- Was that a relief?
- I'm afraid it's getting a little late for us.

Oh, no, no, no.
You are not running away.

This great bar just opened up on Ocean.

When was the last time
you two did tequila poppers?

- Maybe another time.
- You're not bailing because you're pregnant.

No offense, but that is lame.

- Carrie, no...
- What? It's lame.

- Actually, I'm an alcoholic.
- Oh, God.

Me too.

Hey, after you have that thing,
we should totally go out.

You know, without the two dishrags.

Oh, God, can you just take that thing
outside?

Oh, don't freak.
I'm not a psycho. It's our baby.

When we go out with the baby,
Carrie likes the nurse to sit nearby...

...a few tables away.

Oh, you know, Sandy, I'm suddenly...
I'm not feeling well.

I better get you home.

Thank you both
for an unforgettable evening.

Jason, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

- Yeah.
- Well, good night.

Hey, Kirsten, remember,
you can call me for baby advice any time.

Sure.

Losers.

I don't understand how you're not drunk.

Oh, it's the Atwood genes.

We're built to withstand
massive quantities of alcohol.

Here we go. Here's the bed. Okay.

All right. Now we're just gonna...
That's good.

But if I can't get you drunk,
you'll never tell me you love me.

Oh, Taylor.

I know, I know, bad Taylor.
I shouldn't have tried to get you drunk.

Just like I shouldn't have pretended
to be your sleep therapist...

...or rented Roger the homosexual...

...or stalked you
wearing a groundhog costume, or...

- What else did I do?
- I think that's it.

I'm gonna go to sleep now.

Goodbye, Ryan, it was nice.

Taylor?

Taylor,
are you pretending to go to sleep...

...thinking I'll tell you I love you
while you're unconscious?

Maybe.

- Don't laugh at me.
- I'm not. No, I'm not.

It's hard dating someone
who doesn't tell you how they feel...

...and always having to interpret
hand squeezes and...

I love you.

What?

I love you.

- You do?
- Yeah.

I can't believe you just said it.

Neither can I.

- Oh, I love you too.
- Oh, good.

- Now we can go to Berkeley together.
- What?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got into Berkeley.

I applied and I got this letter...

...and I put it on my desk, and...

What?

Ryan Atwood.
His face betrays no emotion...

...but what passions lurk
behind those eyes?

Answering that
is the purpose of this film.

- Come with me.
- I thought the movie was about the pool.

Summer didn't really take
to six hours of the pool.

She wanted me to make a movie
in which I engage with people.

What is Ryan Atwood wrapping
so intently?

Taylor's birthday present.

Taylor Townsend.

The fast-talking Eve Harrington
who melted Ryan Atwood's heart.

Tell us, Ryan, how does it feel
to have Dean Hess' sloppy seconds?

Or what did you get her? Either one.

Well, one of her hobbies
is translating French love poems...

...so I had them bound for her.

Wow, that is really romantic.

It's not that romantic.

Are you kidding?
You may as well tell her you love her.

Well, it's...

It's actually a little late for that.

- What?
- Yeah.

And then what happened?

Well, we finished dinner
and he still wasn't drunk...

...so I suggested a drinking game.

I called it Drink.
Whenever I said, drink, we drank.

- Simple but effective.
- Yeah, a little too effective.

I ended up on the coffee table...

...singing "Part of Your World"
and telling him he was my Prince Eric.

Did he say it?

- Yes.
- He did?

Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Ryan told you he loved you.

I know.

I mean, I think he said it.

This feeling just kind of came over me
and I couldn't stop myself.

So why the long face? You regretting it?

Well, turns out she applied to Berkeley
without telling me, and now...

Your spur of the moment "I love you"
is committing you to four more years.

The plot thickens.

I'm not saying it'd be bad. It just seems
like all of a sudden we're going Mach 5.

And you'd like to turn down
the heat a little.

- He definitely said it. Absolutely.
- Here.

- I think.
- Don't you think you'd remember?

I don't know, it hurts.
What am I gonna do?

I can't just ask him, "Hey, by the way,
did you tell me you loved me last night?

Because I was too plastered
to remember."

Right.

Okay, today's your birthday, right?

And I happen to know that he got you
a crazy romantic present.

So when you open it,
why don't you just be like:

"Oh, my gosh, Ryan, I love you"?
If he said it last night, he'll say it again.

- You're a genius.
- Yes, I am. It's all up here.

It's just there might be one other
tiny little thing.

I'm not saying take it back.

But today is her birthday,
so she'll be interpreting every little thing.

So maybe you send her a message.

For instance, that sends the message:
"You're the only girl in the world for me.

Let's move to a co-op in Berkeley."
Is that what you wanna say?

We go off Ryan Atwood.
What will he do?

How will this situation resolve itself?

- You said something about Berkeley?
- I'm not sure.

Maybe I talked about him going there.
That makes sense.

- Morning, girls. Happy birthday, Taylor.
- Thanks, Julie.

I gave the mailman
that letter from the counter.

What letter? The letter to Berkeley?

- Yeah, I think so.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Mr. Mail Carrier, sir.

Excuse me, please, could you wait?

Hi. I'm sorry.

A woman in that house
where I live just gave you a letter...

...that she shouldn't have
and I kind of need it back.

Ma'am, once the letter goes in the pouch,
it's the property of the federal government.

Okay, and I totally understand that.
But if you take that letter...

...I'll lose my place at Berkeley
and a chance to be with the man I love...

...who I think loves me.
And 15 years from now...

...when he's trapped
in a loveless marriage...

...and I've become a cold, hard ice queen
for whom love is but a distant memory...

...it will come down to the fact that on
this day, which happens to be my birthday...

...you obeyed the letter of the law
at the expense of simple human charity.

- Wow, that was amazing.
- Can I have my letter now?

Yeah, sure.

- Hey.
- I didn't know you were a runner.

Yeah, it helps me work stuff out.

- You should try it.
- Maybe I will. Everything okay?

Yeah. You know, I was just nearby.

I figured I'd stop in and say hello...

...ask your advice on winning
over a 15-year-old Newport girl.

Kaitlin giving you trouble?

Things with Julie are great...

...and I'm so grateful to you and Taylor,
but Kaitlin, she just...

I don't know, she just seems
to want to shut me out.

And I know that you have some experience
with the Cooper women, so...

Well, a Porsche
would probably do the trick.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
that's not really in my budget.

Well, Kaitlin's had a tough year.

Once she sees that her mom's happy,
she'll come around.

Just be patient.

Suddenly,
a Porsche sounds like a bargain.

Right.

Look, I gotta get going,
help set up Taylor's party.

Oh, sure. Is that her present?

Oh, yeah. It's...

She translated these French love poems,
so I had them bound in leather for her.

- My son, the romantic.
- Yeah.

- So I'll see you tonight.
- Yeah.

It's not that romantic.

It's gonna be fine.
Ryan will give you a romantic present...

...tell you he loves you, and you'll go
to Berkeley together. Don't worry.

I know. Do you think I should act surprised
when I go to the party?

- It's not a surprise party.
- But it might make Ryan feel good.

Okay, that's a great idea.

- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.

- Happy birthday.
- Happy birthday.

- Oh, my God, what a surprise.
- I didn't know it was a surprise party.

Just go with it. It's Taylor.

Happy birthday.

- This is amazing.
- Yeah, well, you deserve it.

You got a lot of birthdays to catch up on.

- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, absolutely. Let me get you a drink.

Okay.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.

- Oh, baby.
- Happy birthday.

Thank you.

We can move.

I mean it.

Ryan and Seth will be gone
in six months.

We put the house on the market,
throw a dart at the map.

- Maybe it's time.
- But this is our home.

So? We'll make someplace new
our home.

You know, we'll still have our memories.

But when Ryan and Seth come home
for the holidays...

...I want them to come home
to that house.

It was an idea.

Oh, thanks, Sandy.

I just don't think I can.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's a replica of the Green Destiny sword
from Crouching Tiger. Oh, my God.

- Thank you so much.
- Glad you like it.

- So neat.
- Open Ryan's present.

- Okay, where is it?
- Oh, no, no, no. No, it's okay.

- Ryan's embarrassed.
- No, it's just... It's personal.

Well, I hope so.

Oh, my God, it's...

A dictionary?

That is practical.

Yeah, the guy said
that it had more words than others.

Well, that's good,
being as it is a dictionary.

It's red. That's a cool color.

I still love him, you know? I just...

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this.

No, I understand. I worry about him a lot.

You know, I know making this movie
just seems so stupid...

...but I just wanted him to get excited
about something. Anything.

Just give him a chance.

- Seth will find his way.
- I hope so.

He just seems a little lost.

What...? Those are mine.

What do you think you're doing?

He likes clown porn.
Everyone should know.

Do you have any idea how humiliated
Frank would be if he saw this?

Or if Ryan saw it? It's his father, Kaitlin.

- Whatever.
- Do not walk away from me.

I've tried to be understanding.
I'm sorry if Frank isn't as hilarious as Bullit...

- It's not even about that.
- Then what is it? Is it the money?

Mom, look at us.

In the past year,
we've lost Dad, we've lost Marissa.

We had Dr. Roberts and we lost him.
And then we got the Bullit, lost him.

What makes you think that this guy
is gonna stick around any longer?

Kaitlin, am I crazy?

Or did you say that it was okay
for me to date Frank?

Yes, to date him.

But it's been a week,
he's practically living in our house.

Like he's family. He is not family.

You and I are.

I mean, why can't we just act like that
for a little while?

Hey, they're about to bring out the cake.

Is everything okay?

Yes, everything's fine.

Kaitlin, why don't you go back inside?

Taylor.

- Taylor, I'm sorry.
- I'm not crazy, right?

- Last night, you did tell me you loved me?
- Yeah, I did.

Okay, then what?
Are you trying to send me a message?

- Do you wish you hadn't said it?
- No.

Last night when I told you...

You mentioned going to Berkeley.

Oh, God, I knew it.

Ryan, yes, I applied to Berkeley...

...months ago.
Before you and I ever started dating.

And then, this you-and-I happened
and I thought... I don't know, maybe.

And I guess I should have told you...

...but I really needed to know
exactly how you felt first.

I just think us planning to go
to college together...

...it's a big decision.

Would you have said you loved me
if you'd known I'd gotten into Berkeley?

Great.

Well, okay, I'm just gonna go.

Taylor.

She's coming. She's coming.

Come on, this is where you blow out
the candles and make a wish.

Sorry.

Don't worry.
Kirsten and I'll square up things here.

All right, great, thanks.
I gave Seth the car to carry the presents.

- So where are you going now?
- I don't know.

I'll see you later.

Hey. You okay?

Yeah, sure.

But by the looks of it, you and I aren't
gonna be brother and sister any time soon.

Oh, no.

- What happened?
- Honestly, it was me.

I mean, look, Ryan,
I have absolutely nothing against your dad.

It's just I really didn't wanna rush
into an insta-family again.

I mean, how long would this one last?
A month?

Well, you never know.

I mean, I moved in with the Cohens,
I gave it a week.

Here I am.

I just wish there was a way you could tell
if it was all gonna work out.

Yeah, but there isn't.

But I promise you,
I will always be your brother.

In a completely non-creepy way.

- Kaitlin, honey, can I talk to you?
- Yeah.

Wait. Ryan, as your sister...

...if you don't tell Taylor
that you love her, you're an idiot.

She's right.

I just wanted him to get excited
about something. Anything.

- Oh, no.
- Just give him a chance.

- I'm so sorry you had to overhear that.
- No, it's all right. It's true.

What I was gonna say is,
I think what you made is really good.

Yeah, there's no coherent theme...

...most of the shots are too wide,
and the dogma thing's been done to death.

But I get that you wanted me to find
something that I'm passionate about...

...the way you are about the environment.
- But you love movies.

I do. I love going to them and then
telling people what's wrong with them.

What is it?

- I could be a critic.
- Spend your life watching movies...

...telling people how terrible they are?
- Yeah, that sounds awesome.

I want you to find something
that you care about.

You wanna go rent
An Inconvenient Truth?

- Yes, I love that movie.
- I wanna count the number...

...of gratuitously soulful shots of Al Gore
staring out an airplane window.

Do not insult Al Gore.

So, what did you tell Frank?

I told him we needed to slow it down.

- Mom, if you really like him, you know...
- I do, and he's not going away.

But I told him that right now...

...I need to be spending some time
with my daughter.

Does that include buying me ice cream?

Absolutely.

- What's happening, hot stuff?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

The hermit? My soul card is the hermit?

Are you kidding me?

Okay, Esmeralda, I have to go.
I'll call you next year.

Come in.

Hey, hope I'm not interrupting.

No.

I got you something.

Okay.

These are all poems that I've translated.

I collected them, recopied them,
had them bound.

Ryan, this is amazing.

Are you sure this is from you?

Taylor, I'm sorry. I...

I freaked out.

What I said last night, I meant.

Really?

I love you.

And I don't wanna lose you.

So let's put it all on the table.

Berkeley, Paris, Oxford, anything.

- I don't know what to say.
- That's a first.

- Oh, my God. Mom?
- It's okay, it's just...

- It's an earthquake. Get in.
- Mom.

Seth?

Kirsten?

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