The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 3, Episode 12 - The Sister Act - full transcript

Previously on The O.C.:

Neil!

Julie. Why aren't
I surprised?

Marissa is a real chip off
the old block, isn't she?

I couldn't agree
with you more.

Brains, beauty...

The surgeon that you
hooked him up with,

he convinced the guy
that Johnny

would make a full recovery
and he's back on the team.

Thank you.
She deserves to be happy.

I'm taking Caitlin
to go look at new ponies.



Whatever no longer fits,

we'll just send it
to your sister.

Thank God, Caitlin's
going away to boarding school.

This is no environment
for a child.

It's just not right
for a little girl

to love a hairless pony.

Why do you keep
touching your face?

Last night,
before I went to bed,

I had this sensation
of a pimple about to surface.

This morning, the skin's
as clear as a smogless sky.

And that's
a problem because..?

( sighing ):
Ryan, don't you see?

Not so much.

Things are going way
too well around here.



What?

Marissa got back into Harbor.

You guys seemed to resolve your
surf-tastic love triangle.

My girlfriend got a
near-perfect score on her SATs,

but we've never been happier.

Seth, it's senior year.

It's supposed to be
a best year ever.

No, you should
know better.

Every time things are going
to well around here,

it's when doom
comes a-knocking.

Doom?
A-knocking.

Mm-hmm.
( doorbell ringing )

Or a ringing.

Right on time.

Don't answer it.

It's probably
a flaming bag of crap.

Or FedEx.

Yeah.

So, I show up at my house
to surprise my mom.

And this Persian dude
answers the door.

Uh, I'm sorry?

I figured he was
the new butler.

But then
I saw his shoes, Prada.

I thought, "Maybe
he's my new stepdad."

And I was about to,
like, hug him

and then
his wife shows up.

No matter how rich the guy is,

my mother would never
join a harem.

-Uh, I don't...
-So I was like,

"Persian dude, what are you
doing at my house?

And where is my mother?"

And he was all like,
"Who's your mother?"

So I told him.

And he tells me
that my mother moved

and that all the mail
is being forwarded here.

Uh, I think that you may...

Are you gonna invite me in
or what?

Geez, Ryan.

I see Newport hasn't improved
your manners at all.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Kaitlin Cooper?

Weird neighborhood kid, hi!

You've, uh...

I mean, you've grown...

Boobs?

No, I...

Oh, it's a-knocking.

( piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody ).

S03E12
The Sister Act

* California, here we come

* Right back where
we started from *

* California...
California... *

Kaitlin Cooper?

It must be two years
since she's been back.

Did she mention why she's home

in the middle
of a semester?

We never really got past
where home was.

Oh, Julie wants us to
wait till she gets here

before we tell
Kaitlin...

That her family's
a prime candidate

for Pimp My Double-wide?

Hey, guys. Good morning.

Good morning.
You ready to go?

It's the third day of the Pride
and Prejudice miniseries

in English class.

Summer, the show
you're about to see

has all the makings
of a classic Jane Austen novel.

You've got sisters,
lies and bosoms.

Kaitlin's back.

Mini-Cooper?

Mini-Coop not so mini.

JULIE:
Kaitlin?

Where's my baby?

She's getting
herself together.

The kid's
a little confused.

I don't know
what I'm gonna tell her.

I mean, I just wanted
to protect her

from everything that's gone on
around here.

Shootings, funerals,
public school.

Well just explain it to her.

She'll understand.

Honey, you might've understood.

You're your father's daughter.
Kaitlin's me.

She's not gonna want our life.

SANDY:
She came home.

And that means she wants her
family more than anything.

KAITLIN:
Mom?

Oh, baby.

Hi.
Hi.

Sweetie, what are you
doing here?

Do you even look at my calendar?

It's mid-winter break.

I knew that.

It's just, I figured...
Isn't it Fashion Week?

I thought you'd be in Paris
with Alexandra like last year.

Front row at Chanel.

I saw the photo on Wire Image.

I thought that you'd be happy
to see me.

Well, I am. Of course.

Hey, we're so happy to see you.

So that guy, Caleb,
said that you moved.

I think we're gonna
be late for school, guys.

Sandy, can I talk to you about
the launch party?

Oh, I love discussing
a party.

You know, I'm actually gonna
be late for school, too,

but let's do something later
and catch up, okay?

Bye.

Bye.

Okay, so what's
going on?

Okay, do you remember
that e-mail

that I sent you about Caleb?

There were some financial
complications afterwards.

KAITLIN:
Oh, my God.

We live in a trailer.

Well, yes.

But not...live, live.

Um, we're more like refugees.

We're only half a mile
from the beach, and well,

it's Tiffany blue.

Oh, honey, this is so temporary.

Once Kirsten's and my business
is up and running,

everything's gonna be
just like it was.

-Hmm...
-So let's go inside.

And then you pull it open
like this...

and... voila!

It's a bed.

Wow... that's versatile.

Oh, honey.

I'm sorry. I know this isn't
what you're used to,

but think of it
as a life experience.

And this is exactly
the kind of place

Britney Spears is from.

Mom, it's okay.

Really.

I mean, it's like
a slumber party.

The three of us.

Here.

Oh, you still have this puppy

Marissa gave you.

Although you didn't
really care for him

until you found out
he was a purse

and you could put your pretend
credit cards in his belly.

Yeah, it was that
summer in Tahoe.

The whole family
together.

I guess
it's sentimental.

Hmm.

I know, let's get
our nails done.

I want to hear everything
you've been up to in Montecito.

Although I'm supposed
to be helping Kirsten

with our launch...
but she'll understand.

You got a message?

Somebody from school?

( gasps ):
A boy?

Hmm...?

Oh, my little girl's growing up.

I'm gonna call Kirsten.

MAN:
Hey, it's me.

I can't believe
you just took off like that.

Don't think just because you
left town, I'm not gonna...

( hangs up phone )

MARISSA:
It's just the Kaitlin I know

is obsessed
with her hairless pony.

I feel like I missed
this whole part of her life.

Puberty?

And it's all
my fault.

Nah, what are you
talking about?

Well, I mean, it's not like
I ever tried to keep in touch.

In fact, we were
never really close.

It was always her
and my mom

versus me and my dad.

Well, she's home now.
You can fix that.

Are you talking
about Kaitlin's transformation

from horsy-tweener
to lanky-limb jail bait?

Cohen, one more perky word
about Coop's not-so-Mini-Coop,

and I may have to staple
your tongue to your collar.

Hey, there you are!

Hi.
Hey, Taylor. Oh.

Thanks so much
for everything

at that meeting last week.

Oh, of course.

You were lonely at that school.

You had no friends,

no one to talk to.

Kind of like Charlton Heston
in Planet of the Apes.

I think that was
Mark Wahlberg.

Actually, I had
a couple good friends.

But not like our group here.

Right?

I should get to class.

Uh, me, too.

The poor thing.

It must be really hard for her,
readjusting.

Kind of like coming back
from 'Nam.

Thankfully she has us.

( sighing )

Hey, you all right?

Taylor can be
a little Taylor.

No, she just
made me realize

I haven't talked to
Johnny since I got here.

I mean, I've left him messages.

The tour starts soon.

I hope
he hasn't left yet.

Nah, I don't think he'd do that.

Why don't you try, uh,
what's-his-name, Bizarro Seth.

Chili?

Well, I could. Thanks.

Yeah, no problem.

All right, see you at lunch.

Dude, will you please
just call her back?

This whole sacrificing-your-
happiness-for-hers thing

clearly
is not working.

No, it wasn't a sacrifice,
all right?

I just thought my life would be
simpler without her.

Yeah, it's
real simpler.

You're miserable.

Dude, will you please

just take my phone and call her?

( phone ringing )

It's like I summoned her.

Marissa?

Hey, Chili.

Have you seen Johnny?

As a matter of fact,

Harper
is right next to me.

Hey, Marissa.

Hey, I called you a few times.

Did you get my messages?

Yeah, sorry.

Um, I've just been really busy.

Of course, packing and stuff?

Yeah, packing.

Okay, wel, my sister's in town.

I'd love for you to meet her
before you leave.

Oh, yeah, I don't know.

Um, maybe if I have time.

Come on, you're not really gonna
leave without saying good-bye?

The diner... 4:30.

Please?

I'll see you there.

Veronica?
What are you doing here?

Hello, Kirsten.

I hear you and Julie are
starting a new dating service.

I want you

to set me up with
the delicious Dr. Neil Roberts.

The father of Marissa's
best friend?

The girl you called
Little Miss Columbine

at last week's
board meeting?

Do you really think
he'd go out with you?

Of course not.

If, however,
I could talk to him,

say, over
a candlelit dinner,

I'm sure
I could convince him

that I was just
a concerned parent

looking out for her daughter.

And that's
where you come in.

And why would I help you?

Marissa's back
at Harbor.

But her involvement
in after-school activities--

Senior Day,
prom, graduation--

is yet to be determined.

And I carry a lot of weight
with the Parents' Association.

You might say I am
the Parents' Association.

You're gonna hold a 17-year-old
girl hostage for a date?

A good man is hard
to find, Kirsten.

I'm free tomorrow
if you're wondering.

Oh, you'll have the contracts
by Friday.

Yeah. Oh, it's great, Sid.
I'll talk to you then.

Well, this
is a wonderful surprise.

I wish it was.

Sandy, I have a problem.

Veronica Townsend came by
to see me this morning.

She wants me to set her
up with Neil Roberts.

Good luck.

And she threatened to make
Marissa's life

a living hell at Harbor
if I don't.

And she can do it.

We can't give in
to threats like that.

We don't negotiate
with the Newpsies.

I know, but Marissa's
been through a lot,

and all Neil has to do

is take her out
for dinner tomorrow night.

Well, so, what do you want me
to do about it?

You're the one
with the dating service.

Neil isn't a client.

And I'm not an employee.

No, but you are Sandy Cohen,
professional persuader.

You guys play golf together,
and you're...guys.

And I'm calling in
a wifely favor.

Just call.

Shopping was
such a good idea.

Yeah, even if I was
at a thrift store.

Hey, vintage
is very in right now.

So who am
I meeting again?

Oh, my friend Johnny,
from Newport Union.

I guess he's going away
on this surfing trip,

and I just don't want
to lose touch, you know?

Do I know about
losing touch? Hmm?

Kaitlin... Mom,
in her own deranged way,

was just trying to protect you.

And I was... I don't know,
but it won't happen again.

Yeah, I know.

It's just I'm not a little kid
anymore, you know?

I know.

There they are.

KAITLIN: Which one's Johnny?

Perfect bone structure
or Carrot Top?

Hey, you're definitely
not a kid, huh?

Hey, guys.

Hey.

So, Kaitlin, this is
Chili and Johnny.

It's nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hey, Marissa.

Hey. Thanks for coming.

So, uh... when do you leave?

April.
Next week.

Right. He leaves
next week for training.

Tour starts in April.

Um... dude, did I lock my car?

I think I forgot
to lock it.

There's been a lot of thefts
in the area lately.

He's got a bunch of cassette

tapes in there.

Can you excuse me?

Um... much coffee,
small bladder.

What's going on?

Marissa, do I have
to spell it out for you?

Okay, guess I do.

Look, he knew that you weren't
going to go back to Harbor

while he was still there, so...

He told me that
he was leaving.

Oh, my God.

Johnny!

Oh, hey.

So, how long have you been
in love with my sister?

We're just friends.

Good.

Because I'm sure, as you know,
she's not available.

Unlike, say me.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi, uh, is this
the Cohen house?

It is. Can I help you?

I'm looking for someone.

I guess I had
the wrong address.

Uh, a Persian guy said
I could find her here.

Kaitlin Cooper?

You a friend of hers?

I really need to
get ahold of her.

Is she here or not?

Look, man.
I haven't seen Kaitlin

since she was 11
and rode a pony.

All right. Well, if
she shows up, call me.

It's important.

Hey, Ryan.

What's up?

Your sister around?

No, she went out.

Can I help you?

Maybe.

There's this guy...

showed up at the house
last night,

looking for you.

Justin?

You know him?

He's from Montecito
and he goes to...

I met him at a mixer.

Is he your, uh, boyfriend?

I barely even
spoke to the guy.

And he kept on
calling me.

Coming by my school.

I finally told my dorm mother,
and it got him in trouble.

And now he's like, "You're messing up
my chances in Princeton.

I can't believe that
he showed up here.

I mean, I had already
changed my cell phone.

( sighs )

All right, I'll take care of it.

And you won't tell Marissa?

I mean, we're just starting to
get to know each other again.

And I don't want her to think
that I'm some stalker magnet.

And I don't want her to worry.

( knocking )

Hi.

Hey.

So, Chili...

Told you?

Yeah.

He was never one
to keep a secret.

Well, what you did
was pretty amazing.

I just wanted
to thank you.

Yeah, I'm a real martyr.

Uh, so what are you
gonna do now?

Since you're not going on tour.

I hadn't really
thought about it.

Well, I mean, you could
always apply to college

for next January.

No, I don't think so.

I could help you.
Listen, Marissa.

It's not your problem anymore.

You know, you're back
where you belong,

and...

you know, my life,

maybe it's not to tour
the world to surf, but...

I don't need you saving me.

It's just that you did this
incredible thing for me and I...

Is that what you think?

I needed you to leave.

So, I'm back at Harbor,
but what are you saying?

That you don't ever
want to see me again?

Yeah, I guess that's
what I'm saying.

Right now I just need
you out of my life.

Okay.

( dialing phone )

NEIL ( on phone ):
Hello?

Neil, hey!

It's Sandy. I-I hope
I'm not interrupting.

No, no, no. Not at all, Sandy.
How can I help you?

Well, there's a bit of a
situation with Marissa.

Anything I can do?

Marissa and her mom
mean a lot to me.

Well, this is awkward.

You know Veronica Townsend?

Do I know Veronica Townsend?

Sandy, I know every former A-cup
in this town.

Well, what would you think about
having dinner with her tonight?

You mean a date?

Look, I know
she is a bitch on wheels,

but she wants to go out with you

and she's willing to make
Marissa's life

at Harbor very difficult
if it doesn't go through.

Oh, come on Sandy.
That's preposterous.

I wouldn't be asking you

if I didn't think she'd
follow through on this.

Look, it's one dinner.
Crowded restaurant.

Meet there,

Kirsten
and I'll pick up the tab.

How horrible can it be?

Trust me, it'll be horrible.

I owe you.

Thanks.

Good, you're here.

Where's Kaitlin?
She came with you, right?

Nah. I didn't think
that was a very good idea.

Look, best thing for you
to do is get in your car,

go back where you came from,
put this behind you.

I'm not going anywhere
without the $1,500 bucks

she stole from my brother.

She says she
barely knows you.

We've been going out
for like a month.

And I wanted her to meet
my brother, Sam.

He's a Gamma Tau at UCSB.

They were having a party,
so I brought her along.

And then she, uh, ditched me,

ran off with the door money
and left town.

Three guys are stuffing
a gym bag and take off.

So I'm supposed to take
the word of three

drunk frat brothers
over a 14-year-old girl?

Fourteen?

She told me she was 16.

Like I said, put
this behind you.

I'm trying to help her.

All right, it's not my money,
and now it's out of my hands.

I had three messages from Taylor
this morning.

I told you she has abused
puppy syndrome.

If you show her the
tiniest bit of affection,

she's gonna follow you around
for the rest of your life.

I know, but she's kind of
our responsibility now.

( Taylor screams )

SUMMER:
Oh, my God!

TAYLOR:
I found you!

( Taylor clapping )

Um, who let you in?

I speak fluent housekeeper.

Guess what? My mom's getting
set up with your dad!

( screams excitedly )

Oh, my God.

I know, if they get married,

we could be sisters.

Okay, so I'm gonna go
take a quick spin around

and see which room I might want.

Okay? I'll be right back.

( excited squealing )
Okay.

She is so going back
to the pound.

VERONICA:
No, no, no.

The football players
are the real pussycats.

It's the female
tennis players

that will kill you
in your sleep.

You know in Russia,
rumor has it that

Sharapova's rep is former KGB.

I had no idea being a sport's
agent was so dangerous.

( soft chuckle )

Mom, this place
is way too expensive.

Oh, but, honey,
it's your homecoming.

It's a special occasion.

Mom?

You know where
we should go?

Here, you just said so.

The Crab Cooker.

We haven't been
there in years.

It'll be so fun.

But... okay.

Mm-hmm.

Hey.

Hey. Oh, I'm almost ready.

Take your time. The movie
doesn't start for a while.

Okay.

You all right?

I'm trying to find
my stupid jacket.

I'll help you.

It's brown with dings on it.

And it's stupid.

I got in a fight with Johnny.

He lied about the surf tour.

He was never going.

You knew, didn't you?

Yeah, and I should've
told you, but I mean,

the guy did a good thing.

He did it to get rid of me!

And, I mean, even though
he's not going now,

he still says he doesn't ever
want to see me again.

Okay, but he's in
an awkward position.

You gotta respect that.
Give him some time.

I know.
Look, you, uh...

You got your
sister back here.

Yeah, I think I do
have a great boyfriend.

You have a great
boyfriend, too.

And I'm just getting
to know my sister.

So, life could be worse.

Mm-hmm.

Hey!

Hey.

Awesome.

Hey, what's up?

Hey.

You seem pensive. Scoot down.

So, Kaitlin is up
to something.

Dude, I told you, doom.

I know.

All right, hit me with it.
What is it?

All right, so this guy showed up
looking for her.

And when I asked her about it,

she said he'd been stalking her,
right.

But when you went to give him
the get-out-of-town speech...

He said she stole money
from some frat party.

And then I found this bag
he described in the trailer.

Oh, she's Jimmy Cooper's
daughter.

Theft is in her blood.

I want to give her a chance
to explain, but...

Hey, guys.
Good morning.

SETH:
Hey, I love how people

just come in now.

No more of that useless back and
forth through the front door.

So, we're going to go get
pancakes.

You guys want to come?

Uh, actually, Marissa,

I'm going to need to borrow
you for a second.

'Cause we're going
to have to work

on Summer's birthday present.

Her birthday's not for
like eight months.

What to get the girl
that has everything?

We need to plan early.

So, I went to see

Justin yesterday.

Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

He said you stole some money?

What money? I don't know
what you're talking...

I found the bag in your stuff.

Okay, so I took it.

But it was for a good reason.

Please.

Justin's brother Sam is dating
my friend, Megan.

He seemed like the perfect guy,
right?

Till she told him
that she was pregnant.

Okay, and then what happened?

So she asked him

for some money to,
you know, take care of it.

And he said it wasn't
his problem.

So I took it.

Do you want to call Megan
and ask her

how her abortion went?

Whatever happened, you need
to tell Marissa. Okay?

You know I can't tell her.
You know how she is.

Seth, I'm sure whichever
action figure you choose,

Summer will be equally thrilled.

Can we go?

You know, I lost my appetite.

Can you guys
just drop me off on the way?

Yeah, sure.

Is everything okay?

Morning, sweetheart.

Late night last night?

Actually, I wanted to tell
you I went on a date.

With Veronica Townsend?

How'd you know?

Word gets around
when Orange County's

Cruella nabs her next puppy.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

I thought it would just be
that one dinner.

What do you mean "you thought"?

One dinner I get.

One dinner is a man
on the rebound

with a severe lapse of judgment.

All right, that's enough.

She happens to be a
misunderstood woman.

Dad, she is an evil bitch.

Her daughter was picking out
paint chips for her new room.

Which is your study by the way.

Summer, I am taking Veronica

to the launch party
at the Cohens' tonight,

and I expect you
to at least

be polite to her.

Fine.

( knock at door )

Gus, I'm sorry.

My mom said I can't open
the door for you again.

Even if you actually have candy.

It's Johnny.

Oh.

Hi.

Um, is Marissa here?

How come nobody ever comes

knocking on this door
looking for me?

Sorry, I just...

I said some stuff
to her yesterday.

I wanted to apologize.

I'm afraid she's not here.

Oh, okay.

But...

my mom's having
this launch party tonight

for her new company.

It's at the Cohens'.

She'll be there.

Maybe you should stop by.

I don't think that's such
a good idea.

Come on, I'm inviting you.

So at least there's one person
there that's not totally lame.

Maybe I'll stop by.

To apologize to Marissa.

So, tell me.

Is it that obvious?

Well, I mean, you barely
touched your short stack.

I can tell when something's up.

It's Kaitlin.

There's this guy
looking for her.

Says she stole money
from his brother.

She stole from another kid?
No way.

She admitted it.

But she says she took it
because the brother

got her friend pregnant
and... needed it.

I can't believe it.

Well, I mean, it doesn't
make any sense.

Why would he come after her
if her story is true?

So you think she's lying?

I don't know.

I think you need
to talk to her.

And accuse her
of being a thief?

I mean, after everything
we put her through,

that'll really
build her trust.

Well, I don't think the guy's
going away without his money.

All right, well, I'll talk
to her after the party.

Till then we'll just have
to keep an eye on her.

Uh, check the propane.

Thank you.

How's it going?

Great. I've done
maybe 12,

and I've got about
a hundred to go.

Make that 102.

I've added Neil Roberts and
Veronica Townsend to the guest list.

You've got to be kidding me.

Did Sandy...
What?

Tell me they were dating? No.

I had to find that out myself
last night at the Yacht Club.

It's just...

What is it?

Well, for the past few weeks

Neil and I have gotten
quite close.

And sure, the man is a real catch.
A wealthy doctor,

estate with pool
and tennis court, but...

I was just grateful that
he's been so kind to Marissa

and then last night I saw him
with Veronica and it hit me.

I think I have
feelings for him.

Romantic feelings.

Now he's with that witch who
tried to harpoon Marissa

and they're coming
to our launch party.

I'll be okay, Kiki.

I'm like the Gulf region.

At this point, what's
one more hurricane?

I'm telling you
it'd work.

We're not starting a rumor
that my dad has genital warts.

Hey, Seth, how about lending
your mom a hand downstairs?

Actually, uh, Dad, we're
kind of busy right now.

We're trying to figure out
a way how to break up

my dad and some
skanked-out ho bag.

Veronica Townsend?

See, everyone knows.

You've got nothing
to worry about.

It's a long story,

but last night's date,
one-time thing.

Really, because,
I mean,

he's bringing her
to the party tonight.

He's going on a second date
with her?

Mm.

Oh, Sandy, there you are.

I have to talk
to you about

Veronica Townsend
and you-know-who.

Now we have a quorum.

What happened?

There are factors
of which I was not aware

when I had you set them up.

Wait, you set them up?

Veronica wanted to go on a date
with Summer's dad.

And she threatened to make Marissa's
life hell if we didn't set them up.

Neil agreed as a favor.

Look, Neil's a smart guy.

If he wants to go on
a second date with her,

maybe he sees something in her
that we don't.

Huh?
What the hockey?

No, no, no.

Okay, okay, fine.

But we have to make sure that
she's the one who ends it.

If Neil starts pulling away, she
might take it out on Marissa.

Genital warts is
the answer.

Seth!

You've got a dinner to set up.

You two keep working on a plan,

I'll keep thinking.

We can do this.

Okay, we got to
make Veronica Townsend

not want to date your
dad, so tell me

the most shameful thing
you know about your father.

MARISSA: I'm just not sure
which is harder to believe:

that she stole the money
or that she paid

for some other girl's abortion.

Either way, that girl
is not my sister.

( doorbell ringing )

I'll get it.

Hey,

you brought friends.

This is the guy who
knows where she is?

Hey, look, no one's
getting anything.

Get out of here.

I'm not going anywhere.

And which are you--
the stalker or his brother

who got a 14-year-old girl
pregnant?

What the hell is she talking
about?

Has anyone seen
the cocktail napkins?

Give me my money back, bitch!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Kaitlin! Kaitlin!

Go to the pool house.

Get out of here or we're
going to call the cops.

Look, I've been trying to do
Kaitlin a favor.

She won't help herself. If you
want to call the cops, go ahead.

I'll call them myself.
No, no, no, no. It's fine.

Marissa, just go talk
to her, please.

Maybe we can settle this.
Give them a second,

all right?

Kaitlin, these guys are...

Kaitlin?

Looks like she already
planned her getaway.

Going somewhere?

Like anyone would notice.

Oh, I think those boys you stole
the money from would.

I told you not to tell her.

I knew she was going to act
like a self-righteous princess.

You're blaming me?
Hey!

Why don't you two just talk
to each other?

You should just
let me help you.

Now, I'm supposed
to believe that you care?

I do care.

Yeah, that's why I spent
the last two Christmases

with complete strangers.

Strangers who don't
even have a nice tree.

And I want to make that
up to you.

But you have to start
being more honest.

I have to start being honest?

Look around, Marissa.

You and Mom have been living
a giant lie.

Hey, I just found out
about the trailer.

Mom said she was
renovating a condo.

And you believed her?

My friend Hadley's dad owns
this property.

When he heard about
his new tenant,

he called me right away 'cause
he couldn't believe it.

Julie Cooper Nichol?
Isn't that Kaitlin's mom?

Why would she be living
in a trailer park?

I can't believe you knew.

My whole school knew.

So, why did you steal the money?

Because I wanted
to come back home.

What, to find out if
the rumors were true?

No, to make sure that
you and Mom were okay.

I'm sorry...

but we really were just
trying to spare you.

From what, being a part
of this family?

( laughs ):
Come here.

Look, if you stick
around long enough,

you might find out what
that's really like.

Ryan?

I only wanted enough
for the car to get down here.

I'm sorry for all the lies.

I'll tell the cabbie
he's not needed.

Well...

I guess,
unfortunately,

you have to go
to Mom's launch party.

Only if I can borrow something
to wear.

Where is she?

Don't worry, Taylor
will be here.

I can't believe
I told you that about my Dad.

SETH: It does kind of make me
see him in a new light.

Uh, hi, everybody.

Welcome. Thanks
for coming.

I'm Kirsten Cohen.

And I'm Julie
Cooper Nichol.

Thank you.

Uh, well, tonight,
we launch Newport's

first exclusive dating
service, New Match,

because, well,
whether you're gay,

straight, single,

divorced, nearly divorced,

in a world
of wealth and luxury,

the only thing really worth
pursuing is a soul mate.

( sighs from the crowd )

So drink up,
enjoy and flirt.

( applause )

If I didn't already have
the perfect woman,

I would sign right up.

Will you two
excuse me?

Don't worry.

The plan is
in motion.

Taylor, you're here.
Great.

Oh, it's good to see you,
too, Seth.

Yeah, so...
Now, don't make a pass at me.

I don't want you coming
between sisters.

Okay. Come here.

Listen, uh, how serious
is your mom about Dr. Roberts?

Well, let's
put it this way.

When my mom decides

she wants something,
she gets it.

Like when she wanted
my dad, she got him.

And when she wanted
all of his money

and the house in the
divorce, she got that.

And now she wants
Dr. Neil Roberts.

Well, there's just something

I think you should know
about him.

Here it is--

most of it, anyway.

Thanks.

So, uh,
where's Kaitlin?

Uh, with her sister. Why?

Why do I get the feeling
this isn't just about the money?

Just thought Kaitlin
might come by with you.

To apologize or something.

The least she could do
is apologize.

So she didn't say
anything to you

about me at all?

Like...?

I don't know.

( laughs )

You're in love
with her.

Maybe I thought I was, but...

But what?

Just be careful
of that girl, man.

She's... amazing.

Thanks.

You know, I used
to always lie awake,

so jealous that you, Mom and Dad
were at one of these things.

( sighs ):
A Newport party.

Yeah, well, you're
finally here.

Yeah.

Well, what I had in mind
was way cooler than this.

Well, how'd it go?

Watch and see.

Neil, maybe we should
go somewhere

a little bit more private
and have a drink.

That sounds
like a good idea.

Hi, um, I'm sorry.

Mom, could I just talk
to you for a second?

Um, Taylor,
Dr. Roberts and I

are trying to have
a private conversation.

This is just gonna
take a second, though.

It's okay. Go ahead.

( whispering ):
What?

Who told you that?

Is everything okay?

Uh, yeah.

Uh, Neil, uh, we'll have to do
that drink another time.

Uh, Taylor's
not feeling well.

Uh, I'll just
talk to you later.

All right.

Huh?
My, God, that is amazing.

All you did was tell her
he voted for John Kerry?

Yes, that is
exactly what I said.

You told her
he had genital warts?!

That Kerry thing wasn't going to work!
Come on!

Neil!

NEIL: Hey, Sandy.
You're all alone.

Yes, yes. Veronica's daughter
wasn't feeling well.

If you ask me, you dodged
a Newpsie bullet.

You're probably right.

I think I've been
out of the dating pool so long,

I was momentarily polite.

Well, I think it's time
for me to be getting home.

I think there's someone here
who wouldn't mind your company.

Hey, Kaitlin.

You leaving?

I wish I could.

Party that good, huh?

Just got a little bit
more interesting.

( laughs )

I'm going to find Marissa.

Excuse me.

( sighs )

Hey, there.

Where's Veronica?

She left.

Alone?

Really? You two seemed to be
getting along so well.

Hmm. Actually,
I was hoping

that you might have
dinner with me sometime.

Neil, I would love to.

Ryan...

Oh, sorry.

I walked into that.

No, um, what are
you doing here?

I'm not staying,
I just, um...

I wanted to apologize

for yesterday.

I don't know why I
said those things

when they're
not even true.

I guess I just, um...

I missed you.

Apology accepted.

I missed you, too.

Look, I know we both have
our own lives now,

just... don't be
a stranger, okay?

And speaking of strangers,
have you seen my sister?

Yeah, she's out front.

Seemed a little bored.

Yeah. You think maybe
you could drive her home?

Sure.

Um... I'll take her for
ice cream or something.

Of course I didn't
mean to hit you.

I know,
I just find it interesting

how your hand collided
with my face.

TAYLOR:
Summer.

Taylor, I thought you left.

Oh, I did. I told my Mom
I had to come back.

Listen, I am so bummed that it
didn't work out between our parents,

but... if you don't mind,

I would still really like
to think of you as my sister.

Yeah, me, too.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Oh! Okay, that's great.

That makes this all worthwhile.

Okay, so, I got to go,
but, um,

I'll see you tomorrow
in school, sis.

Okay.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

What, you want
another black eye?

( whistles )

-Hey.
-Hey.

How'd it go?

Good, I guess.

Well, was he okay
about the money?

I don't think it was
the money he was after.

They were seeing
each other.

What? You're kidding.
Mm-mm.

He's, like, our age.

And she lied about hers.

Well, it's not that big
of a surprise, I guess.

I kind of feel sorry
for the guy.

I mean, you were what,

a year older than Kaitlin
when I met you?

I know what it's like
to fall for a Cooper girl.

Yeah, I guess you do.

Where is she now?

Oh, well, Johnny took her home,

so hopefully, by now,
she's safe in bed.

Thanks for getting me
out of there.

No problem.

You know how people say
that you can't go home again?

I'm never sure
if that means that

the place has changed
or you have.

Well, what
do you think?

I think this place is
exactly the same as I left it.

And you?

Pull over.

-No, we're gonna stop...
-I don't want ice cream.

Just stop the car.

I feel like a swim.

Now?

Yeah.

So... you scared?

No, but...

Come on!

Kaitlin!

Last one in!

Kaitlin, wait!

Come on.

lt's freezing!

-Come in.
-Kaitlin!

by paulonline