The O.C. (2003–2007): Season 1, Episode 26 - The Strip - full transcript

Previously on the O.C.:

Julie and Caleb's
wedding invitation.

Getting married in, uh..
Two weeks.

SETH:
Wow, they're really doing it.

I know it should be simple. Your boyfriend
hits you, you leave him, right?

It's never simple.

You're probably fan of the classics, so..
Superman, no? Batman?

You probably really need Ryan right now,

and me being here--
I'm just getting in the way.

It's more than twice
what we put into it.

You caught me at a good time.



He is up to something.
I don't care. $2,500,000.

You and me,
we're going to be fine.

SETH:
Ryan? Ryan, hey, hey, man, are you asleep?

Ryan?

I'm asleep.

Yeah. I can't sleep, either.

(sighs):
I know what you're going to say.

You know, she hasn't
technically dumped me yet,

but... it's only a matter
of time, right?

So, what do I do?
Do I force a confrontation,

or do I just continue to be
whiny and passive-aggressive

until she realizes
what a catch I am?

Ryan? Ryan, Ryan, Ryan,
you asleep?

Yeah.
Oh, okay, sorry.



I'm going to let you go
back to sleep, okay?

As bad as things are, they're
much worse for you, so...

-What?
-I'm just saying that,

I'm at least in my bed. Not sleeping
here on my floor, not sleeping.

Because you won't stop talking.
Yeah, but also

because your ex-girlfriend's
sleeping in your room,

to the dismay of your girlfriend
who you just got together with.

Marissa's fine with it.
I'm sure she is, buddy.

Same way if, Oliver was sleeping
on her couch, it's cool.

Should I kick Theresa
out of the pool house?

No, but... aren't you
just the least bit curious

as to when she's leaving?
No.

No, I'm not. I'm not worried about it.
Okay.

Okay.
Good.

Yeah.

Night. Go back to bed...
or the floor.

Yeah, okay,
I should talk to Theresa.

Let me come with you.

Theresa?

Housekeeping.

Hello?

SETH:
Maybe she's still at work.

No, her bag's here.

Yeah. Apparently
she's been shopping.

Sorry. I didn't hear
you guys come in.

Hey, let me know if you
ever need anything, okay?

My mom's got
lots of toiletries.

Thanks, but, um, I'm probably not
going to be here that much longer.

Oh... you're not.

No. I-I can't impose
on Seth's parents forever.

Sure. I intend to.

Thanks, but I really need
to figure things out.

I have some family
I can call,

so...

So, uh, see you tomorrow?

No, I picked up a morning shift
at the bakery, so...

Oh, alright,
so maybe after school?

Sure... but aren't you
and Marissa...?

Yeah, no, I mean,
we'll both see you after...

We'll actually all see you
after school,

because, my girlfriend's
currently dating her father,

which to me, is...
Seth.

We'll talk
about this tomorrow.

Goodnight.
Goodnight.

Alright, goodnight.

Yeah. Night.

(piano and acoustic guitar
strumming gentle melody)

S01E26
The Strip

* California, here we come

* Right back where
we started from *

* California

* California...

* Cal...

* California

* Here we come.

So, what's it
going to be, Cal:

the Hyatt Newporter...

the pool at the
Four Seasons Hotel

where everybody
gets married,

or the beautiful
glass cathedral

overlooking the ocean at
the Wayfarer's Chapel, hmm?

(sighs)

Uh, I have to get to work.

Wh-Wh-Whatever you like,
angel.

Oh.

Sorry about
breakfast, Kiki.

Dad, the only reason
we're having this breakfast

is so that we can do some work.

You have been so busy
with the wedding lately,

I haven't even seen you.
Really? Because every time

I've asked him to help me
he says he's working with you.

Really? So, Cay-Cay, what have
you been doing all this time?

Don't you have
someplace to be?

As a matter of fact,
I'm meeting Jimmy for breakfast.

I bet even that sounds good
to you right about now, huh?

The Wayfarer
Chapel it is.

Well, a-are you sure?

I mean, these photos
don't really do it justice.

I should take you up there this
weekend. You'll love it.

I wish I could.
I'm out of town.

What? Since when?
You can't go out of town.

We're getting married next week.

Just one night.
Business.

Business where?
Uh... Nevada.

Nevada, as in Las Vegas,
Nevada?

Actually...
Dad, you're going out of town

for one night to Vegas
on business?

What business?

There is no business.

You're going to Vegas
because you're having

a bachelor party, aren't you?

Some of the investors and I are...
Hiring strippers,

drinking too much
and gambling all night

the weekend
before our wedding.

Oh, geez, it sounds like
a bachelor party to me.

I... I have to admit,
I-I feel a little hurt

that I wasn't invited.
Yeah, me, too.

Not that I have any affection
for you, Cay-Cay.

You know that, but...
I do love the Vegas.

I didn't know
you loved the Vegas, Dad.

I love the Vegas.
I love the Vegas.

Ryan, how do you feel
about the Vegas?

I've never been to the Vegas.
My mom was all about the Reno.

We should go. You love Vegas,
Ryan and I have never been.

You can use his, mutant card
counting abilities,

pay for the whole trip.
Sounds like fun.

Yeah, it does.
What about Theresa?

I can take care of Theresa.
You should go.

Do I have any say in this?

(scoffs):
No.

Enjoy your bachelor party.

(laughs)

(knock at door)

Hey.
Hey.

Ready for breakfast?
Almost.

My Realtor is coming here.
Have to give her the contract.

Contract for what?
Well, with any luck...

...my new house.

Jimmy, it's right on
the beach-- it's perfect.

Yeah, I just wannna give Marissa
a home she can be proud of.

What are you gonna do with
your half of Caleb's money?

I'm taking some of it with me
to Vegas this weekend.

The boys and I are crashing his
bachelor party. You wanna come?

Are you kidding? The man bailed
us out, took Julie off my hands.

I'll buy him
his first lap dance.

Hell, I'll give him one myself.
(doorbell ringing)

Can you... can you grab that?
I just got to get the contract.

Hi,
Gail VanDeeper. You must be Sandy.

Hi. Yeah.

Congratulations on
selling the restaurant.

Oh.
You guys must've made a fortune.

I heard Robert Campbell
is gonna turn that whole area

into a outdoor mall.
Robert Campbell?

Uh... we actually sold
the restaurant to Caleb Nichol.

Oh, then I guess
Caleb Nichol

is gonna make a fortune. Well,
another fortune, right?

But you and Jimmy must've made
good money, so...

what are you going
to do next?

I want to kill him. Of course,
then I'll have to go jail,

It'd be better than moving in
with him and my mom, right?

And that way I wouldn't have
to tell my dad I'm moving out.

You still haven't
told him?

Well, what am I supposed to say:
that Caleb's blackmailing me?

Then my dad'll kill him, and
I'll have to move in with mom.

So, what are you
going to tell him?

I don't know, but I've to
do it by this weekend.

I think your dad might be
going to Vegas this weekend.

How do you know?

Because I might be going to
Vegas this weekend.

For what?
Caleb's bachelor party.

What? With, like,
uh, strippers

and prostitutes
and showgirls?

Yeah, I don't know.
I hope so.

(scoffs)
What? No, I'm not going to go.

I can't leave Theresa
here all by herself.

Theresa? What about me?

What? You-you know what I mean.

You-you got Summer
and your sister.

Theresa-- she's got nobody.

Well, she's got me.

I mean, I am your girlfriend,
right?

So, I mean, any friend of yours
is a friend of mine...

right?

You are my girlfriend.

Glad to hear it.

Now, about those strippers...

Wh-What strippers-- I
don't know any strippers.

I don't want Chippendales.

I want strippers: full-on,
full-frontal male strippers...

preferably at a place that
serves bottomless margaritas.

Uh-huh.

Or I can invite the girls over
and I can throw you

a lovely catered
bachelorette cocktail party.

With strippers.
Without strippers.

Julie, we are smart,
sophisticated women.

We don't need strange naked men

dancing in front of us
to be entertained.

(sighs)

I'm not as smart as you. Plus,
the boys are getting strippers.

The boys are not
getting strippers.

Kirsten, it's Las Vegas.

You get strippers
as a side with your entree.

Of course they're getting
strippers.

Why else would Sandy go
to Vegas with Caleb?

Strippers, huh?
Uh-huh.

Let's get all
the Newpsies into limos,

drive to L.A.,
have dinner on Sunset,

then head south to Mantopia
or the Stud Farm.

You've done your research.

Todd in Accounting,
who also told me

about this place
called the Petting Zoo.

It's not exactly legal,
but...

Julie, I am not going to a place
called the Petting Zoo.

You don't know
where the pets have been.

We'll be too drunk to care.
No strippers.

Just one stripper?

Please?

Just one little stripper
who never hurt anyone

who's just trying to make
his way in the world...

naked.

One little stripper.

Yes! You're the best.

But no Chippendales.

And not little.

A bachelor party?

Mm-hmm, where really
anything could happen.

(scoffs):
Good to know.

Yeah, just kind of
a courtesy thing, really,

seeing as how...
the last time I checked,

we're still boyfriend
and girlfriend...

even though you've been
ignoring me in the halls

and don't return
any of my calls.

I didn't mean for
that to rhyme.

Look, Cohen...
I just want you to tell me

you're not gonna let what your
dad thinks of me break us up.

He's my dad.
So what? I don't...

Summer, I don't care
about your dad, okay?

I care about
you... a lot,

and if that's not good enough
for you...

Obviously, that's
not good enough for you,

so I'm going to go to Vegas.

Hi.

Hey.

How was work?
How you feeling?

Good. Um, I'm
actually going back.

I picked up another
shift tonight.

Marissa and I were kind of
hoping we could all hang out.

Yeah, I can't.

Um, I have to make money if
I'm going to go to Atlanta.

Atlanta?

Yeah, my cousin Kim lives
in Atlanta,

and she said I could
go stay with her

as long as I pay
my own way, so...

I mean, she doesn't have
a pool house or anything, but...

that way, maybe I can get
a second chance, too.

How much you need?

Ryan, I can't take your money.

I don't even...
I... $2,000.

I'll ask the Cohens.
No, you won't.

Listen to me.
This is not your problem, okay?

Go, win, make money.

That's what
I'm going to do.

Oh! Ow! My ankle!

$2,000, huh?

Well, I've got about...

I'd say I got about
$1,000 in savings bonds.

Bar Mitzvah bucks.

Yeah, and I could throw in
a couple hundred.

I can't ask you guys
to do that.

Well, you didn't ask.
We volunteered.

Thanks, but it's not enough.
But you can make enough,

you take that money to Vegas
and triple it on the blackjack.

I don't know. It's been a while

since I've done
the whole card-counting thing.

I'm going to start you off slow,
right?

If you suck,
I'm just going to cut you off.

Well, how do we
get into the casinos?

We'd use our fake IDs.
You have fake IDs?

Stevie Sebolski of Menlo Park.
It's good to meet you.

Have you met my
associate, Marty Nevis?

MARISSA:
Oh, God.

Okay, look,
you guys go to Vegas.

I'll take care of Theresa.

If you win, great.

If not, well, then,
Theresa never has to know.

What do you have to lose?

Just $1,000
in Bar Mitzvah bonds,

but other than that, nothing.

Are you in?

Marty, are you in?

I'm in.

* Check-ch-check-check-
check-ch-check it out *

* What-wha-what-what-
what's it all about? *

* Work-wa-work-work-
work-wa-work it out *

* Let's turn this,
turn this party out *

* Said, "Doc what's
the condition? *

* I'm a man that's
on a mission" *

* Said, "Son, you'd
better listen *

* Stuck in your-- what?--
is an electrician" *

* Like a scientist

* Mmm, when I'm applying this
Method of controlling my mind *

* Like Einstein and the
rappin' duke combined *

Well, I love the Vegas.
Reno was never like this.

* Some call it salugi
Some hot potato *

* I stole your mic
and you won't see it later *

* I add up...

What is this place?

This is the Hard Rock
Hotel and Casino.

According to Seth,
it is Ground Zero

for aging hipsters
like yourself.

I thought
we were going to Caesars.

Yeah, about that.

Caesars didn't have
a permanent Springsteen exhibit.

Although they do
have Celine Dion.

Yet another reason
we're staying here.

Hey, mock if you must, but
the woman can sing, sing, sing.

You're going to regret saying
that on your birthday.

Yeah, really.
Welcome to the Hard Rock.

My name is Amy. Which one
of you is Mr. Cohen?

Oh, uh... Hi, Amy.

We spoke on the phone.

It's good to see you.
Yes, good to see you.

We have the penthouse
ready for you.

If you gentlemen will follow me.
Penthouse?

Yeah.

-So, whose card did you put that on?
-Oh, please the old man's.

Oh, I love you, son,
I love you.

I love you, too, Dad.
Aw...

Just not as much as I love Vegas.
Huh!

The casino, restaurants,
pool and spa

are all on this level,
if you'll follow me,

I'll show you
our famous bowling alley.

Dear God,
there's a bowling alley.

Yes, sir.
It's in your room.

Did you see that?

I just almost bowled a strike.
In our hotel room, man.

I'm never going home.

It's like
a million-dollar frat house.

( chuckling ):
I know. It's fantastic.

Mmm. Well, I'm going
to explore the casino.

AMY:
May I give you gentlemen a tour?

No, I'll find my own way,
thanks.

We're good, thanks, Amy.
Oh, thanks.

Uh, actually,
you know what?

We'll, uh, we'll take that tour.
Yeah.

Oh, sure.
I just need to see some ID.

Oh...
It's just a formality.

We have a lot of kids under 21

using fake IDs
to get onto the casino floor.

We hate to have to throw them
out of the hotel.

I don't think we're going
to need that tour, actually,

but thank you
for stopping by so much.

That's really sweet.

What are we going
to do, man?

I don't want to get thrown out.

I love the hotel.
Me, too.

I want to marry the hotel and
have little gambling-addicted,

alcoholic kids with it.

Fine, we'll find
another casino.

What, like a youth casino?

( chuckles softly )

Seth, it's Vegas.

You want to find some action,
all you got to do is ask.

* Right there
where the heart breaks... *

Winner, pay
the line.

( phone ringing )

Yeah?

Where are we doing this?

No, I'm at the Hard Rock,
of all places.

Fine. I'm on my cell.

So, where's the party?

There is no party,
just a quiet dinner.

Hey, speaking of dinner,
have you figured out

what you're going to
do with the restaurant?

Not yet. You figured out what you're
gonna do with all that money?

I'm putting all mine
on the hard ways.

Jimmy's going to buy a house
for himself and Marissa.

Really?
Yeah.

Last time I talked to Marissa,

she was planning
on moving in with us.

* La la la la la

* La la la la la...

MAN ( over TV ):
Ever gonna stop being mad at me...

I'm sorry, but does it strike
anyone else as tragic

that the boys are in Las Vegas
doing God knows what

while we're sitting here
watching The Valley marathon?

Hey, that's Sum's favorite show,
okay?

Right, Sum?

( sniffling )

Are you crying?
No.

( sniffling )

It's a sad episode.

( sniffling )

She broke up with Seth.

Coop!
What? Why?

Her dad
doesn't approve.

Coop.
Please. You think

my dad approves of Jimmy Cooper?
The man's a felon.

No offense.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, my mom
still doesn't approve of Ryan.

It's like a rule.

Like, your parents
almost have to disapprove.

Otherwise,
the sex isn't any good.

Was that an overshare?

Yeah, he kind
of is my dad.

Yeah.

( doorbell rings )

Yeah, I'll get the door.

Hey.

Hey... can I talk to you?

Alone?

You want me to get you a stripper?
Well, not me.

Julie.

And I only ask because...

you were a stripper.

Can I ask you something?

How do you get yourself
into these things?

I wish I knew.
Does she have a picture of you

wearing culottes, or something?
You don't like Julie Cooper.

Shh! Marissa's still here.

And that's not entirely true.

You let her walk all over you.

You're upset with her
because she's marrying Dad.

Yeah, for his money. The same
reason that she married Jimmy.

Well, she's not
your biggest fan, either.

Why am I getting her a stripper?
Because if you don't...

she's going to make me take her

to a place
called The Petting Zoo

which, according
to Todd in Accounting--

they pet.

( chuckling ):
You know what?

I'll do it. If Julie Cooper
wants a stripper,

I know just the man for the job.

Thank you.

( upbeat music playing )

SETH: We live in an age of miracles,
Ryan. Look at them frolicking.

Look how much fun it is. There's
bowling alleys in the penthouse,

you know what I'm
saying, hotel rooms?

There's beaches in the
middle of the desert.

There's so many bikini-clad women
that I haven't even thought about Summer

since, like...

Since you left a message
on her machine?

Sure, that's right, but that
was also 20 minutes ago.

I'm feeling liberated now, confident.

Like I could walk up to any one
of these women and just...

converse.

Know what I'm saying?

Okay, go for it.
Okay.

The thing is, I don't wanna
be rude to you.

I can take care
of myself.

Yeah, well, but
I can't, I can't...

I can't just go up to some
strange girl and say, "Oh..."

Excuse me, would you
mind if I kissed you?

Are you talking to me?

Sorry. The Hard Rock's
kind of exclusive.

You can't use the beach unless
you're with a guest, so...

I'm Jen.
Seth.

And you are
an excellent kisser.

Can I buy you guys a drink?

Uh, yeah, I think we're out,
so that, um...

( phone ringing )

Would you hold on one second?
It's Summer.

Hey.

Cohen... listen,
I've been thinking.

Yeah?

Hey, I have
to kiss you again.

What?
What?

Cohen, what is going on
over there?

Wow.

You're an amazing kisser.

Hold that
thought, please.

Hey, Summer, um...

Hello?

He's kissing another girl.

No.
Yes, right in front of me on the phone.

I can't believe this.

I have been crying actual tears
over that ass,

and he's kissing randoms.

Okay, you know what?

We're going to have a
girls' night out, okay?

Theresa's coming over, we
can do whatever you want.

Really? 'Cause all I want to do
right now

is go to Las Vegas
and kick Cohen's ass.

She's gonna kick my ass.
Yeah.

Was that
your girlfriend?

"Was" being
the operative word there.

I am so sorry.
No, it's... listen...

I shouldn't even be here.
I should go.

I have a paper
to write, anyway.

Yeah, we should
probably go, too, so...

Where are you guys headed?
Can I give you a lift?

You have a car here?
Yeah, I live here. I go to UNLV.

Ah.
English major,

with a weakness
for fake beaches.

What about you guys?

Uh, just visiting.
Yeah.

We're looking
for a blackjack game.

Yeah, it's sort
of business.

I don't know about blackjack but
a couple of guys from my class

are doing this poker thing
downtown.

It's kind of intense, though.

Want to go?

Sure.
Sure.

Hey.
How'd it go with Caleb?

Ah, he stonewalled me.
I got nothing.

Maybe he's just out here
for his bachelor party.

( chuckling ):
Yeah, right.

Yeah, a bachelor party

where Robert Campbell
just happened to stop by

and pay him half a billion
dollars for The Coastline.

So, he's profiting from our
loss. He's Caleb Nichol.

That's what he does. He paid us
a huge amount of money for that

restaurant. He's the only reason
I can put a bid on a house.

You may want
to retract that bid,

because according
to Caleb,

Marissa's moving in with him.

MARISSA: Summer had to go home, but she
wants us to call if we go out.

Yeah, I don't feel like going
out much, if that's okay.

Yeah, no, of course
it's okay.

We'll just order in. You want,
like, Indian, Chinese, sushi?

No, not sushi.
I can't do raw fish.

Okay, um, well, what about
something else to drink?

I think we have
like, juice, soda, beer?

No, I can't.

I mean, I shouldn't. Thanks.

You can't drink,
you can't have sushi...

What are you, pregnant?

Oh, my God, are you pregnant?

RYAN:
We're just playing Texas Hold 'Em, right?

Yup. Last time I was here,
it was, like, a $250 buy-in.

As in $250?

Why, do you play?
Yeah, just for fun.

Well, it was fun until
last time I lost that $250.

These guys--
they don't play for fun.

( sighs softly )

You do know how to
play poker, right?

Yeah. I haven't played
in a while, but...

Great, great.

How about I go
buy us a drink?

Okay.
Okay.

Look, we don't have to do this.
Yeah, well, what about Theresa?

Theresa's not
your responsibility.

Well, she's not yours either,
yet here we are.

So, listen... I
love the Vegas.

It's time to see if
the Vegas loves me.

Howdy.

I haven't told
anyone.

Not my mom, not Eddie...

especially not Ryan.

You're the only one
who knows, so...

I'm not going
to tell anyone, I promise.

Hey, do you not want
to talk about this?

I've been going crazy
keeping this to myself.

Okay, so, do you know
what you want to do?

I don't even have the money
to get to Atlanta,

so I have no idea
how I would pay for an...

I mean,
even if I had the baby...

I work in a bakery, you know?

What am I supposed to do?

Well, maybe
if you talk to Eddie...

No, I can't.

He'll try to convince me to
marry him and have the baby...

or else he'll say it isn't his.

Who else's could it be?

( upbeat music playing )

( slurping )

All in.

$2,500.

Pocket aces.

Hey, hey.

How you doing there,
buddy?

Well, we got your
bar mitzvah money,

we got Theresa's money,
now we got to go.

No. What about the Ryan and Seth
go-to-Europe money, my man?

Get back. We can get Vespas.
Vespas-- really?

Yeah, it's Europe.
Harleys, whatever.

The point is, man,
why quit when you're ahead?

Because if we don't,
Angry Trucker Hat over there

is going to hurt me.
Maybe he's not angry at you.

Maybe he's angry 'cause people
don't wear trucker hats anymore.

Come on, I'm doing so good
with Jen, I think.

Invite her back to the room,
or something.

It is kind of sweaty in here.
I'd like to,

but how am I going
to do that?

Hey. So, uh, Seth
and I were wondering...

if...
If you would like

to come back
to our hotel room with us

and go bowling, which is not
as weird as it sounds.

Are you guys staying
in the penthouse?

My girlfriends and I've wanted
to rent that. But it's so expensive.

Yeah, well, uh,
you should call them.

You should bring
them over.

Are you serious?
Yeah.

Call them.
Okay, thanks.

( sighing )

( rock ballad intro playing )

Now, isn't this better than
some seedy Hollywood club?

Mmm.

Mmm, when's the stripper
getting here?

Don't tell me,
I want it to be a surprise.

( doorbell ringing )

( gasping )

Surprise.
I'll get it.

Uh, maybe
I'd better go with you.

You know, in case
it's a UPS man,

and I have to sign
for the package.

Or maybe it's a plumber, and he
needs to tighten my pipes.

Or... you know what?

What if it's... Hailey.

What are you
doing here?

Kirsten invited me,
since you clearly forgot.

My memory is fine.

Uh... crab cakes?

I can't stay. I just saw a fire
truck out front, and wanted to make sure

everything was okay.

Fire truck?

Is it hot in here...

or is it just me?

* My girl

* Ugn, ugn

* My girl

( squealing )

* My girl

WOMAN:
Whoo-hoo!

* Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo

( squealing )
Ooh!

* My girl

( women whooping )

( laughing )

* The way you walk and talk

* The way it turns me on...

Whoo!

Hailey, I said
one stripper.

* The way you squeeze
and tease *

* Knocks to my knees

* You're smokin', baby, baby

* The way you swerve and curve
really wrecks my nerves *

( phone ringing )
* I'm so excited, child

Ooh!

* Whoo, whoo
The way you push *

* Push...

( phone ringing )

Hello.

Hey.

Oh, thank God it's you.
There are four male strippers

dressed as firemen
dancing in our living room.

Theme stripping--
you got to love that.

( women whooping )

Oh, wait.

Now they're not dressed
as anything at all.

Well, try to keep them
off the furniture.

So how's everything
going in Vegas?

Let me ask you something:
Do you find it at all odd

that after your father
bought into the restaurant,

as powerful as he is,

we were still denied
our liquor license?

Well, yeah, but the guy
that was on the liquor board

was an ex-client of Jimmy's.

So, your dad doesn't know anyone
on the liquor board.

Well, he knows everyone, but why
would he do something like that?

He was a partner
in the restaurant.

So he could buy us out cheap and
turn around and sell it to

Robert Campbell for
ten times as much.

Sandy, he wouldn't do that.

Honey, when are
you gonna realize

there is nothing
your dad wouldn't do?

What are you going to do?

I'm going to talk
to your father.

Hey, Ryan.
Yeah?

I'm proud of you, man.

Not as proud
as if we were on Vespas, but...

Jen, we're going to do strip
bowling. I'm not a good bowler,

so you'll probably
see my tush.

Hey, you guys go ahead.
I'm gonna catch up.

Yeah, hurry up.
Okay.

Hey, I still haven't heard
from you.

I just want to make sure you're
okay. Ryan's here, he'd like

to say hi.
Give us a call back, okay?

I love you, kiddo.

I've been calling her all day.
She hasn't picked up her cell.

Everything okay?
Listen, do you know anything

about Marissa moving in
with Caleb and Julie?

Uh, yeah.

She finally told you?

No, she didn't.

Caleb told Sandy.

This was something
I should know?

What?
No, nothing, I just...

I don't know why he'd do that.
They had a deal.

A deal?
What kind of deal?

Move.

Hi. The name is Cohen,
C-O-H-E-N.

I think that's how you spell it.

*

You can pretty much see
the entire strip from here.

Yeah, you can see it
from here, too.

It's very impressive.

Wait till you see
what happens next.

Mmm. I would, actually,
I would like that very much,

to see what happens next.

The thing is, I'm kind of
in love with my girlfriend,

and that makes it weird.

Ex-girlfriend, right?
That's a good point.

Mm-hmm.

Cohen!

Summer?

I-I tried to stop her.

Get away from him, whore.

Whoa, whoa, hey,
she's not a whore, okay?

She goes to UNLV.

Oh, you know what?
I'm sorry-- skank.

WOMAN:
Hello?

Mmm, did somebody
order more skanks?

Come on in, you guys.

Ryan, Seth-- this is Valerie

Shannon and Grace.

Aren't you going
to introduce me?

What are you doing here, Lucas?

This many girls, I'm going to
need payment before the party.

Uh, wait, no... Payment?
Are you, uh...?

You're a prostitute.
I knew it!

So, four girls till midnight.
Plus, you had Jen all afternoon.

No, man, I think
I've been had all afternoon.

Uh, either way,
it's 250 an hour

which brings us
to a grand total of...

( clicking tongue )

...$5,000.

LUCAS:
So...

what'll it be, gentlemen,
cash, check or charge?

I hate the Vegas.

My entire life, I've never
even seen a prostitute.

Now I have four of them taking
advantage of me in my room.

And not in a nice way.

Well, way to go, whore boy.
Thanks.

Alright, alright.
Summer, how much money you got?

I'm not giving you my money.
I'm was not the one worked over.

I wasn't worked on,
I was entrapped.

This is your fault. You are
the one who broke up with me.

So you hire yourself
a call girl?

Your dad wouldn't approve?

This has nothing
to do with my dad.

You're absolutely right,
it doesn't.

I overreacted a little.
Maybe a little. I don't know.

Maybe if you didn't
try so hard with him...

I did that because
it was important to you.

You swear nothing else happened
with the skank-ho?

I swear. One kiss.

Maybe four.

I hope you
enjoyed them,

because if anything like this
happens again, I'll kill you.

You won't have to. If we don't
get 5,000 soon, her pimp will.

Between my money
and Theresa's money,

it's only 3,000.

( zipper opening )

3,500.

Thanks, but that's...
still leaves us 1,500 short.

You know, you guys did buy us
till midnight.

That's more than enough time

for another time game
of no-limit hold 'em.

That's a card game,
not hooker talk.

( clears throat )

Well, that was
some performance.

( chuckles ):
Believe me, that...

that was nothing.

What are you doing
after the party?

Getting married.

Yeah.
But not tonight, right?

Let me get my purse.

Oh, thanks for the party.
You're leaving?

I'm exhausted,

and the boys are getting back
from Vegas early, so...

Tell me your sister's not
hitting on that poor stripper.

Oh, they're,
they're old friends.

In fact, Hailey set
this whole thing up.

She did?
Mm-hmm.

Really?

Excuse me.

So what was the plan, Hailey?

Get your stripper friend
to proposition me

then tell daddy all about it
and the wedding's off?

Please. I know you'd never
sleep with Jeff.

He doesn't make enough money.

And what the hell is
that supposed to mean?

Well, you married Jimmy
for his money, and now my dad.

You see, Jeffrey here
might be a stripper,

but honey, you're a whore.

Ooh.

You're going down, bitch.

Who you calling
bitch, bitch?!

Oh, my God.

Hailey, stop it!
Easy.

Stop it, ladies.

( screaming )

( both yelling )

Bitch!
You bitch!

( both yelling )

Ow! Ow!

( both yelling )

You bitch!

JULIE: I never liked you even when
you were a little twerp.

Come on!

Hey, how are you?
I'm meeting someone here.

Caleb!
There you are.

Jeez, I'm so glad you guys
didn't start eating without me.

Mr. Campbell, how are you?
Sandy Cohen.

I'm Caleb's son-in-law,
former business partner.

How is the food here?

The filet is excellent.
Really?

Would you care to join us?

Actually, Robert, we should...
Don't mind if I do.

So, Mr. Campbell, I understand
that you're interested

in Caleb's Balboa
coastline property.

Oh, I can see why.

It is the perfect location.

Do you mind?

I'm parched.

Mm. As a matter of fact,
some partners and I

recently tried to open
a restaurant there.

Not unlike this one, except

we had two kinds of meat
loaf and dirty martinis.

The problem was, we could
not get a liquor license.

And for the longest time,
we couldn't figure out why.

Sandy, this is not the time.
You going to eat that?

Turns out, one of our partners
went behind our backs

to a friend of his
at the city council

and got them to deny
us the liquor license.

So he bought us out and now he's
peddling that piece of property

at a much higher price
to someone else.

Robert, I have to ask you
to excuse us.

The problem is,
the joke's on him.

Not only is he guilty
of collusion and fraud,

but he and his property
are going to be tied up

in civil litigation for months.

Years, if I have
anything to say about it.

Bottom line:

that coastline property...
it's absolutely worthless.

What do you think
of that, Mr. Campbell?

I have to ask you to leave.
Get your hands off me!

You want to go, we'll go.
Come on.

Sandy, don't.
Let me.

You think you can
manipulate me?!

Hold my daughter hostage?!
Easy, easy. What are you doing?

You beat me to the punch.

We'll see you back in Newport,
Dad. Come on. Go, go.

I bet 500 you got nothing.

I'm out.

I need you to
lend me some money.

What? No. No, way.
You just lost, like, $3,000.

There's no way
I'm lending you money.

Then I guess you
don't get paid.

Look, this is not a game, okay?

You and your friends
could get seriously hurt.

Yeah, well, whose
fault is that?

I was just doing my job.

You were staying in penthouse.
I thought you had money.

Look, I don't understand.

This afternoon,
you were doing so good.

Now you suck.

I guess angry-trucker-hat's
feeling confident right now.

Wouldn't you say?

You lost on purpose?

I won a lot of money
this afternoon.

Now I need yours.

( zipper opening )

Deal me in.

I can't believe he gave
you his angry-trucker hat.

He didn't give it to me,
I won it.

That's not really winning, then.

Aw, be nice, Cohen. He paid off
your pimps and your hos.

Yeah. I did lose your
bar mitzvah money though. Sorry.

I lost my bar mitzvah money.
And I also lost Theresa's money

which is the only reason
you even came here.

Ah, it's not
the only reason.

Yeah, you don't think
the trip's a total waste?

I mean, we won some,
we lost some.

I say we're walking
out of Vegas pretty much even.

Well, I'd say some of us
are walking out ahead.

Mmm!

If it were up to you, we
wouldn't be walking out of here.

We have a good Vegas
story to tell.

Don't think you
want to tell people

that you lost your bar mitzvah
money on prostitutes.

Ah, well,
you know what they say,

"What happens in Vegas,
stays in Vegas."

I thought that
was Tijuana.

I think that hat should stay in Vegas.
Hey, hey!

( laughing )
Hey.

SETH:
Sorry.

* What-wha-what-what-
what's it all about? *

* Work-wa-work-work-
work-wa-work it out *

* Let's turn this,
turn this party out *

SETH:
Oh!

( gasps in awe )

I definitely
love the Vegas.

* Check-ch-check-check-
check-ch-check it out *

* What-wha-what-what-
what's it all about? *

* Work-wa-work-work-
work-wa-work it out *

* Let's turn this,
turn this party out! *

Mm, how was Vegas?

Mmm...

Definitely a spectacle.

How were the strippers?

Surprisingly
tame, actually.

That's good.
Mm.

Considering what
happened next.

Uh, do I want to know?

Depends.
What is it?

On how you feel about
drunken catfights.

Julie and Hailey?
Mm-hmm.

Wow. Even Vegas
can't compete with that.

So, how did it go
with my dad?

Well, you'll be relieved
to know

I did not punch him
in the mouth.

That is a relief.

Jimmy did.

Oh.

I don't think we'll be invited
back to Hard Rock anytime soon,

but you know what,
I'm not really looking forward

to getting back to Vegas.

I thought you
loved the Vegas.

I do.
I do love the Vegas.

'Cause afterwards,
it is so nice to come home.

Hi.

You told my dad?

Your dad found out.
He asked me.

I had to tell him the truth.

You'll tell my dad the truth,
but you won't tell me?

What are you talking about?

You know what, maybe you
should just ask Theresa.

Whoa, whoa.

Just tell me
what's going on, okay?

Theresa's pregnant.

And it might not be Eddie's.

So why don't you tell
me what's going on.

by paulonline