The Newsroom (2012–2014): Season 2, Episode 3 - Willie Pete - full transcript

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Presidential candidate Michele
Bachmann thinks our troops are the best.

They are the best.
This is the easiest thing to get behind.

It doesn't get any better to help our troops

when they are literally
on the lines fighting for our freedom.

Presidential candidate Herman Cain

will not apologize for having the biggest,
baddest, greatest military on the planet.

And I don't apologize for having the biggest,
baddest, greatest military on the planet.

- Presidential candidate Mitt Romney...
- 44B.

...would like the rest of us
to support the troops

- even more than we already do.
- Copy.



I think it's time for American citizens
and politicians to show a surge of support

and for us to reach out to our neighbors
who are serving in the military.

And presidential candidate Rick Santorum

marvels, as we all do, at the selfless act
of volunteering to serve in a time of war.

We have a culture right now
that doesn't say, "Serve."

It doesn't say, "Don't think about yourself."

It says, "Me, me, me."

It's a very self-absorbed, me-centered,
excessive popular culture.

And yet, we have brave men and women
who are willing to step forward

because they know what's at stake.

They're willing to sacrifice their lives
for this great country.

Stephen Hill is a decorated
captain in the US Army,

where he's been a reservist for 20 years.

He is, this very night,
serving in combat in Iraq, as he was last night



when he asked this question via YouTube
at the GOP debate in Orlando, Florida.

In 2010, when I was deployed to Iraq,
I had to lie about who I was

because I'm a gay soldier
and I didn't want to lose my job.

My question is,
under one of your presidencies,

do you intend to circumvent
the progress that's been made

for gay and lesbian soldiers in the military?

That was a big room
full of Republican primary voters

booing an American combat soldier
who, as he was speaking, was in combat.

The audience members who were booing
were in Orlando.

Soon, they'll surely be in hell,
though not soon enough.

Not everyone was booing.
There were people in the audience

who heard Captain Hill say that
when he was deployed to Iraq,

he was worried that if his sexuality
was discovered, they might not let him go,

as opposed to most of us, who,
if told we were being deployed to Iraq,

would go Corporal Klinger faster than
you can pull on a yellow taffeta picnic dress.

I'm sure there were even some people
in the building who stood up for Captain Hill,

people who had
the simple strength of character

to turn to the fraction of a human
in the seat next to them and say,

"How many different kinds of disgusting
do you have to be

"to boo a man
who volunteered to fight and die for you?"

I'm sure those people were there.
I'm sure there were many of them.

But unfortunately,
none of them were on the stage.

Not one of these
would-be commanders in chief

took a moment to stand with a line officer.

They let him stand alone.

Soldiers never do that. Leaders never do that.

Witless bullies and hapless punks
do it all the time.

The only president on the stage last night
was Stephen Hill.

Godspeed, Captain Hill,
and come home soon.

A grateful nation is waiting to say thank you.

That's News Night for September 23rd.

Terry Smith is up next with
The Capitol Report.

I'm Will McAvoy. Good night.

When you turn to the monitor,

I need you to slide your chair back
about an inch for the key light.

Why?

So the photons bounce off your face
and not your forehead.

I don't get it.

You have to slide your chair back
about an inch when you turn to the monitor

- so we can see your face.
- Is this a new problem?

- Yeah.
- Why?

I guess you used to slide your chair back.

Why don't you adjust the key light?

Because when you're not facing the monitor,
you're... Never mind.

Number two, don't stare at guests
who are wearing toupees.

- I know. I couldn't help it.
- Help it.

- I was mesmerized, and a little bored.
- Okay.

Did I take you by surprise
with the "witless bullies and hapless punks"?

No, you left a message for me last night.

I realized as I was saying it that
you never mentioned you got the message.

- I did, and I approved.
- I wasn't asking for your approval.

- You were, but speaking of voice mail...
- No.

- Come on.
- Let it go.

I think we both know
that's not gonna happen.

You've asked me every day for two months.

- There have been days when I haven't asked.
- You asked on Sundays.

Sundays are your holy day?

I don't remember the message.

You said,
"I'm not just saying this because I'm high."

And then?

- I left the message in May.
- "I'm not just saying this because I'm high..."

- I don't remember.
- How can you not remember?

- Really?
- Right, you were high.

Yeah.

- Still...
- All right.

"Witless bullies and hapless punks."

- Too far?
- Not far enough.

You should have told what's-her-name
to go fuck herself, too. The moderator.

I'm not allowed to
make that suggestion on television.

Make it anytime you want. We're protected.

- You mean the tape.
- The tape, baby, the tape.

We're like made men.
We're like Joe Pesci in Goodfellas.

- He got shot.
- Before he got shot.

Before he got shot, he wasn't a made man.

- We're like James Caan in The Godfather.
- Also shot. Many, many times.

Who are we like?

Two guys who have a tape of their boss
admitting to phone hacking.

How do these people boo a soldier?
How do the candidates say nothing?

And how are you a member of this party?

I'm changing it from within.

Like Pacino in Scarface.

Have you ever seen any of these movies?

- I should.
- Yeah.

So here's something.

You remember Nina Howard?

I definitely remember Nina Howard.

She called Jan in the press office
a couple hours ago.

She knows you didn't have the flu on 9/11.

- Shit, Charlie! I knew this was gonna happen.
- It's not that big a deal.

It's a very big deal. I look like an idiot.

- It could be worse.
- How?

I could look like an idiot.

- You know what?
- That was simple comedy structure.

I had an open jump shot and I took it.

- What do you want to do about this?
- We have two options.

Jan says we do nothing.
We don't respond, it goes away in 48 hours.

The other option is we stick to our story.

Tell me those options again.

- We do nothing, or we stick to our story.
- There's a third option.

- No, there's not.
- It involves having faith...

- No one has faith.
- ...in my mission to civilize.

I really thought we were done
with the mission to civilize.

Was Don Quixote de la Mancha
done with his mission to civilize?

Yeah, he died of being crazy.

So that one you know,
but not The Godfather?

We say nothing,
which is what I strongly recommend.

Or we tell the truth.

The truth isn't even on the table.

- I sit down with her.
- No.

- I tell her exactly what happened.
- No.

- And I appeal...
- To what?

...to her God-given humanity.

God didn't give her humanity.
That's why she's a gossip columnist.

God gave us all humanity.

Let's look at the tape
of the people booing a guy

while he was in the middle
of saving their lives.

I have no explanation for that,
but the bitchiness has to stop, Charlie.

We're inhaling it like it's a carbon emission

blowing out the exhaust pipe
of the crosstown bus we're stuck behind.

Snark is the idiot's version of wit,
and we're being polluted by it like it's...

You know, like it's...

Blowing from the exhaust pipe
of the crosstown bus we're stuck behind.

Yes, that still works. And all it takes,
Charlie, all it takes is one great man.

Kill me.

- A friend of the angels.
- A close friend?

- Don't mock this.
- It's literally impossible not to.

There are things we can do, Charlie,
things we can do every day.

Things that are free.

We can be one inch nicer to each other.

An inch more polite. We can be decent.

Maybe.

But in the meantime,
we should just keep lying about...

I'm gonna meet with Nina Howard.

Nothing about that idea is good.

How about its honesty and honor?

Trumped by its peril and stupidity.

Please ask Jan
to set up a meeting for Monday.

An off-the-record meeting.

And so it was that the mild-mannered reporter
donned his cape and tights...

And transformed himself
into a delusional drag queen.

Okay, can I just say that
it's this kind of attitude

that makes you Sancho
instead of the main guy?

I'd tell you to call me and let me know
how it goes, but I've got you on Google Alert.

Got it.

At our next event at Rollins Park, the
Governor's message will be simple and clear.

He'll be reiterating his role
as a business leader and job creator,

and he'll focus as well on the failures of
ObamaCare to meet the needs of the country.

Jim?

I'd like to read you
the e-mail you sent us last night.

"At tomorrow's event, the Governor's
message will be simple and clear.

"He'll be reiterating his role
as a business leader and job creator,

"and he'll focus as well on the failures of
ObamaCare to meet the needs of the country."

Is there a question?

Okay, Governor Romney said
we can't reduce our debt

without changes to the entitlement programs.
What changes is he proposing?

- He's laid out his plan.
- No, he hasn't.

- Go to our website.
- I'm there right now.

- You can read about our plan.
- There's no plan.

Current seniors would have nothing
to worry about. We made a promise...

"Promise to our parents and our grandparents
and that's a promise we need to..."

Okay, I get it.

- Do you?
- Yeah.

I don't think you do, because while those are
sentences and everything, they're not a plan.

If we don't figure out
how to stop spending and cut this debt,

we'll be leaving a terrible burden
to our children.

There's no one who disagrees with that.
What's the Governor's plan?

Obviously,
we have to look at entitlement reform.

- Okay, good. What kinds of reforms?
- That's all laid out in the Governor's plan.

- Are you a cyborg?
- Are you a moron?

You think you're scoring wise-ass points,
and he's plainly fucking with you.

You've heard the only answer
you're going to hear.

Learn how this works,
'cause you're driving the rest of us crazy.

- You can't blame me for trying.
- I am. I'm blaming you for trying.

Any other questions?

Can I get 30 minutes
with the candidate today?

- No. Anything else?
- Lunch will be?

- Turkey sandwiches.
- Turkey sandwiches.

Yeah?

- You can speed-read?
- I hope so.

Okay, well, I wanted to see if there was
anyone around with a military background.

Why?

Eric Sweeney is taking the train in
from Trenton to sit down with me.

I want to make sure
I don't miss any acronyms.

- Ah. Jerry, I...
- Why is it so crazy

that we'd use gas
if our soldiers were in immediate danger?

For one thing, we destroyed our
chemical weapons after the 1997 CWC accord.

- The Chemical...
- I know what the CWC is.

And that process was supposed to be
completed in 2007, but wasn't and hasn't yet.

We have sarin gas.

I'm gonna go with you.

- I want to meet Sweeney.
- Now we're talking. Noon?

- Come by and get me.
- Good morning.

- How you doing?
- Good.

- Good.
- All right.

- You know what opened four days ago?
- What?

Park51, the Ground Zero mosque.
It turns out the sky didn't fall down.

- It opened?
- Nobody, including us, covered it.

I found out by walking in there.
I said, "You guys open?" They said, "Yeah."

I wonder why people hate the media.

How did Nina Howard
find out I didn't have the flu?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

You gave me a lecture about trusting the staff.

- I was right.
- Somebody leaked it.

Nobody on the staff.

- They were the only ones who knew.
- Nobody on the staff would leak it.

You see the problem here?

- Charlie said you're meeting with her.
- I am.

Would it mean anything
if I told you that was a terrible idea?

- No.
- What are you gonna say to her?

I'm gonna ask her
if we can be a little bit human for a day.

I'm gonna ask her if 9/11
can be declared a scandal-free zone.

You know,
I had a nice conversation with her once.

- When?
- When you were in the hospital

and she told me she knew you were high
the night we got bin Laden.

She didn't tell me she knew
because Reese had hacked my phone.

She couldn't, but she expressed remorse.

We had a connection.

That's great.

- And speaking of voice mail...
- We weren't.

- A little bit.
- No.

- Tangentially.
- I don't remember.

"I'm not just saying this because I'm high..."

Mac.

- You know what I think?
- What?

I think you got home
after the bin Laden broadcast,

and for a minute, just a minute,
you forgot that you were mad at me.

- Listen.
- You forgot for a minute

that you'd made a pledge
to be mad at me for the rest of your life.

Let's speak really quietly, okay?
I'm not mad at you.

You didn't dent my fender.
You didn't stand me up for a date.

- I'm not mad at you.
- I know.

- I'm not your gay best friend.
- God.

You were back with Brian for four months
while you were with me.

And you... That's flat... I don't get it.

Do you wanna see the e-mails you sent me
while you were with him?

I'm never gonna get it.
So the small favor you can do for me

is not saying something as inane as,
"You forgot you were mad at me."

Because sometimes,
you're not as cute as you think you are.

- You're right.
- I want to know who leaked the story.

The campaign's happy to announce

the results of the latest
New Hampshire Journal poll,

which has Governor Romney in the lead

with 37% of New Hampshire's
likely Republican voters,

well ahead of Rick Perry with 18%,

Ron Paul with 14%,

then Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain.

You forgot about
Huntsman, Gingrich and Santorum.

- And soon you will, too.
- Taylor?

- We have a new student in class.
- Jim Harper, ACN.

Jim Harper, ACN.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

When the gay soldier asked his question,

did Will McAvoy expect the candidates
to waterboard each member of the audience

until they admitted to exercising
their First Amendment rights?

- I doubt it.
- What did he expect?

I guess for at least one of them,
perhaps the front runner,

to tell the audience that he wasn't interested
in the votes of anyone who was booing.

Not for nothing,
but he'd have won the election that night.

- How long have you been covering politics?
- Almost two weeks.

Right.

What is your question, Jim?

In the past, Governor Romney said that his
proudest accomplishment in public service

was bringing health care reform
to Massachusetts.

I've been to 28 events in 11 days,
and he hasn't brought that up.

- And your question?
- We're really gonna do this?

- Has anyone on the bus asked why?
- No. Thank God you got here.

- Taylor, why is it...
- Governor Romney is very proud

of his accomplishments in Massachusetts
with regard to health care.

But his plan is nothing like ObamaCare,

which the Governor has promised to repeal
on his first day in office.

- What exactly are the differences?
- All right, that's it, guys.

- One more question?
- Sure.

What do you expect us to report tonight?

The Governor was in good spirits today

as the campaign touted the results
of the latest New Hampshire Journal poll...

A new poll has the Romney campaign
feeling good about its chances...

And a senior campaign spokesperson
reiterating the candidate's pledge

that a President Romney
would repeal ObamaCare...

...and expressing no expectation of surges
from Huntsman, Gingrich or Santorum.

With the Romney campaign in Concord,
I'm Jim Harper, ACN.

I was stationed
with a MARSOC unit in J-bad.

Marine Special Operations Command
in Jalalabad.

- I know.
- Intel had location on Marine POWs

who'd been separated
from their unit three days earlier

during a firefight in the Hindu Kush.

They'd been smuggled across the border.

Pakistani Taliban intended to sell them
to al-Qaeda for propaganda purposes.

You mean like,
"Hey, look, we got some Americans"?

I mean like, "Hey, look, we beheaded some."

We had to get to them before
they moved again, or else we'd lose them.

The target was a village inside the FATA.

- What were you told to expect?
- Taliban fighters.

Potentially, Pakistani QRF
responding to our border invasion.

Quick Reaction Force.

We ran rehearsals for 48 hours.
That's when things got different.

What was different?

We were practicing in full MOPP gear.
Mission oriented protective posture.

- It's like a hazmat suit.
- I know.

Two helos, 15 operators each.
We cross into Pakistan. No IDs, no dog tags.

- Without permission?
- I'm not the guy who gets permission.

Two helos. Any backup?

It was two years ago.

I think I remember
we asked for an AC-130 Spectre gunship

to loiter on the Afghanistan side, but either
it didn't get authorized, or it didn't show up.

The 60s had.50-cal door guns.
AH-1s had rockets on the skids.

AH-1s are Cobras.

We had a few guys carrying
new HE rounds for the M203s, M79s.

We got on board at 0400
and were on the target before dawn.

- HE is...
- High explosive.

- Everything all right here?
- We're good, thank you.

Amy, could you do me a favor and not
seat anyone nearby if you don't have to?

Yeah.

Things went bad right away.

You want to make God laugh,
tell him you rehearsed for an extraction.

A bunch of fighters come out of the hills
as soon as we land,

and I'm sorry for the language, ma'am,

but there was a shit-ton of civilians in
the village and we weren't prepared for that.

The helos started laying down
white phosphorus to cover us.

You're saying you shot white phosphorus?

Yes, ma'am.

White phosphorus?

- What does it do?
- Depends how you use it.

I thought we were using it for cover.

Then one of the choppers
fired a missile right near us.

We're going door-to-door
looking for our guys.

All of a sudden,
I'm tripping over people screaming.

Women, children,
boils and burns on their faces.

Some of them passed out.
I hadn't seen anything like it.

A couple of my buddies grabbed our guys
out of a hole in one of the houses,

hit 'em with an atropine, dragged them
to the helos, and we all got out of there.

So later, I'm talking to the crew,
and I ask them about the weapons package.

Why did the white phosphorous do that?
The guy said it wasn't white phosphorous.

I said, "Well, what was it?"

He said, "Sarin."

Would you write down as many names
as you can remember, please?

Am I about to be murdered?

You look good, Nina.

Are you sure the AWM executive dining room
is the safest place to meet?

I am. I've had it closed.

You came in through the freight entrance
and rode the elevator alone

except for this gentleman, who's a former
New York City police detective.

- You have that kind of muscle?
- Right now, you have that kind of muscle.

But I don't want to talk to you
about power today.

I want to talk to you about something else.
Come on over and sit down.

- Would you like a mimosa?
- What?

- Champagne and orange juice.
- I know what it is.

Pierre, a mimosa for Miss Howard, please.

No pulp, correct?

- Yes.
- I learned that on Facebook.

- No pulp.
- Right away.

- Is his name really Pierre?
- No.

- What's going on?
- I'm glad you asked.

I think anybody would have.

You can start a revolution, Nina.
You can fire the shot heard 'round the world.

And that's an apt analogy,

because no one knows
which side the guy was on who fired the shot.

But nonetheless, it led to a revolution
that it was good that we won.

- Will.
- Yeah?

- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- I didn't have the flu.

We felt that with the controversy created
by my remarks about the Tea Party,

the 9/11 anniversary coverage
should be handled by someone else.

And so Sloan Sabbith and Elliot Hirsch
anchored, and I pretended to have the flu.

You forgot to say we're off the record.

We're not. We're on the record.

Why are you being this way?

Wayne.

- Dear God.
- Yep.

I don't believe in censorship,
but I'm a big believer in self-censorship.

You've got a scoop.

You can write a story
that embarrasses me and the network,

or you can say that's all the story is.

You can say,
"I've had a belly full of this bullying bullshit."

You're financially secure?
You've invested wisely?

I invested in my parents' will.

- So you don't need the $250?
- I'd get a lot more than $250.

Sorry, you don't need the $275.

Did Reese or Leona Lansing take you off
the anniversary, or did you do it voluntarily?

Charlie Skinner took me off.

And I get that's where the story is,

but, Nina, are we okay with
being Mean Girls and Heathers

and whatever the male equivalent of that is?

- Lord of the Flies.
- Lord of the Flies.

Well, in Lord of the Flies...
Sure, yes, Lord of the Flies.

9/11 is a sacred day.

- Maybe that could be the one day...
- All right.

- What?
- I won't run it.

Seriously?

I liked that you told me the truth when
I asked if you took yourself off voluntarily.

- You did?
- Yeah.

So it worked?

Wow. We... Look at that.

Okay, well, enjoy the rest of your mimosa
and that'll... That's that.

- That's that.
- All right.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Do you think you'd like to go out sometime
to dinner or a movie on a date with me?

I'd love to, but I won't.

Okay.

All right.

I'm sorry, you'd love to, but you won't?

You've forgotten that I heard the voice mail
that you left for MacKenzie.

Right.

The voice mail I left...

Wayne, could you stop playing for a minute?
We're good.

I would love to go out with you.

I wanted to go out with you
New Year's Eve a year ago,

the first time that you told me
that you had no respect for me and what I do.

- But you're in love with MacKenzie.
- I'm not.

I was years ago, but we just work together.

Now, I like her, I depend on her, she's my EP,
but she runs my show and that's it.

The message said...

- You don't have to say what it said.
- It said...

- It's all right.
- It said, "Hey, Mac, it's me.

"Look, I'm not just saying this
because I'm high.

"I've never stopped loving you.
You were spectacular tonight."

Then there's a pause and you say,
"Can you believe we got Obama?"

- I meant bin Laden.
- Yeah, I know.

- And that was a long time ago.
- It was May.

I'd eaten two massive,

we're off the record now, cookies laced with...

- I know. I know.
- We'd been on the air till 4:00 a.m.

I had adrenaline and THC
coursing through my, you know...

- Brain?
- Yes!

I don't know
what courses through your brain,

but I listened to that voice mail
100 times before I destroyed it,

and that message was the real thing.

Didn't you ever wonder
why she didn't call you back?

You guys erased the message.

Well, you didn't know that at the time.

You know, I thought...

- What, you thought she'd moved on?
- Uh-huh.

You're an idiot.

Yeah.

So, no to the date,
but I thought everything else went really well.

Mm-hmm.

Welcome to the high ground
in McAvoy's team of champions.

And thank you.

The guy's paid for an hour, so...

Okay.

It was nice of you to destroy the message.

They'll take you back down
when you're ready.

You asked him
to tell you classified information and he did?

- I know.
- Whistle-blowers can be patriots.

And he doesn't remember the date?

He remembers it was around March 9th, 2009.

Do you remember dates from two years ago?

I would if I dropped sarin gas on a small town.

- And he said they shot white phosphorus?
- Yeah.

If they shot white phosphorus
into an enclosed area,

that alone would be chemical warfare.
Just the white phosphorus.

- What about his discharge?
- Honorable.

- Has he talked to anyone else?
- No, just me. Us.

- Why?
- Nobody's asked.

That's a bullshit answer.

- No, it's not.
- It is.

- Did his hands shake or were they steady?
- Steady.

He remembered a lot of details
and his story sounded a little rehearsed.

- Didn't to me.
- No criminal record

and we're checking his credit.

Guy owes money on a Jet Ski,
we're not gonna believe him?

I've never flown an MH-60, but the old Hueys
couldn't handle that altitude, right?

He said it was a Black Hawk?

Black Hawks
are what we sent in to get bin Laden.

Abbottabad is 4,000 feet above sea level,

and most of the villages in Waziristan
are over 9,000.

That's pretty thin air for rotating blades.

Maybe it wasn't a Black Hawk,

or maybe, excuse me,
we're not experts in military helicopters.

- She is.
- I'm not.

Well, obviously, you have to follow up.

Just do it quietly and carefully.

We understand we're talking about
an impeachable offense.

- It's a war crime.
- We've committed them before.

I know. I was there.

- Just can you give us a second?
- Yeah.

Do you believe this story?

I mean, you can't possibly believe this story.

No.

But what if someone else confirms?
At what point do we have to take it seriously?

We'll never find that out.

All right.

I'm commandeering
this desk clump right here.

Anyone who works here,
move your stuff someplace else.

Martin, Tamara, Tess, you're working with me.
Maggie.

- Yeah?
- You're on this team.

We're splitting this list into five sections,

and we don't stop
until we have tracked down every name on it.

All right.
I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm gonna brief you. Everybody huddle up.

Jerry, this is something they and you do
when they and you have nothing else to do.

Rundown meeting.

I'll brief everyone after.

- How was the doctor?
- I'm good to go.

I could swallow a petri dish full of smallpox,

and my immune system
would laugh the laugh of the righteous.

- Malaria?
- Covered.

- Mefloquine or doxycycline?
- I'm not sure.

You want to be sure
because mefloquine has possible side effects.

- Mefloquine.
- I told you to get the doxycycline.

Yes, but one of them is
for people with fair skin, and that's me.

Do you know
what the possible side effects are?

Nope.

Check it out.

All right, around the table.

The court's gonna rule on the ACA
early next year.

Justice is declining to appeal
to the Eleventh Circuit.

Saudi Arabian women
will be given the right to vote in 2015.

Romney's meeting with Trump tomorrow.

- Oh, my God!
- There it is.

- "Depression, confusion, hallucinations..."
- Yeah.

"Severe vomiting, suicidal thoughts,
homicidal thoughts and extreme fear."

Easy enough to understand
where the extreme fear comes from.

- Anything else?
- "Itching."

I'm gonna be itchy
while I'm confused and hallucinating.

If at all possible, have the suicidal thoughts
before the homicidal thoughts.

Didn't you get the same thing?

I got the doxycycline.
I don't have fair skin, just soft skin.

- Does doxycycline have side effects?
- Sun sensitivity.

Okay.

Don't take it.
Go back and tell them you want the doxy.

You already took it.

I can feel my mood changing. I can feel it.
It's happening right now.

- Let's keep going.
- There's Friday's address at the UN

by Mahmoud Abbas
pressing the case for Palestinian...

Shut up, Martin. The UN can go to hell.

The drug takes about a week to kick in.

- When did you take the pill?
- Ten minutes ago.

- So...
- I'm confused and experiencing extreme fear.

Uh-huh. Keep going.

The Conrad Murray trial begins tomorrow.

That's 30 seconds buried deep somewhere,
preferably when we're in a commercial.

- Good afternoon.
- How'd it go?

I have two things to say.

People are fundamentally good,
and who the fuck leaked I wasn't sick on 9/11?

Everyone's gonna close their eyes,
including me,

and the person who couldn't keep
their mouth shut is gonna raise their hand.

That wouldn't work.
That doesn't make any sense.

- Can I ask something?
- Sure, this meeting's off the rails.

Saturday, the day before yesterday,
there was an OWS march.

It didn't make it to the 2:00 rundown.

- Was it out this morning at 11:00?
- Yes. I put it up this morning at 11:00.

There was a march through
the Financial District that was interrupted

by the NYPD using excessive force
and pepper spray without being provoked.

I saw the film. I don't know.
Maybe. If there's time.

There's time right there
where Mitt Romney meets Donald Trump.

We're totally doing that story.

And seriously,
when I find out which one of your roommates,

which one of your boyfriends,
which one of your baristas gave me up,

I know some of you have
special relationships with your baristas.

I don't understand that part of the world,
but I am gonna own somebody here.

There's gonna be a heartache tonight.

How are you even supposed to know
if you're delusional?

This was a colossal waste of time,
so I'm going to try meeting with graphics.

Mac.

I'm sorry about this morning.
I don't know where that came from.

I know where it came from, but still...

Honestly, I'm impressed
it doesn't happen more.

Impressed is the wrong word.

I can't think of the right word.

That's okay.

- Anyway...
- All right.

Nothing on the march
in New York on Saturday.

A friend of mine in the newsroom's
gonna lose it.

- One, two, three.
- One, two, three.

Tequila!

What does that do for you,
shouting "tequila"?

How does that enhance the experience?

- I don't know.
- Until you do...

- Stop?
- Yeah.

- What was the girl's name?
- It doesn't matter.

It does because
I don't want to accidentally use her real name

when I'm writing the story in my blog.

- Don't write it in your blog.
- "Tales From the Trail."

Write about Romney.

When Romney jumps off
a Sex and the City tour bus to chase a girl,

I'll definitely write about it.
Now, what was her name?

Guys, I think Jim
would like a little space on this.

- We can just leave it alone.
- Thank you.

- What was her name?
- Maggie.

Her name is Maggie.

How did you know that?

You've called me Maggie twice
since you got here.

Ooh!

Tequila!

- Cameron.
- Thirty minutes with the candidate?

- Yeah.
- Nope.

Come on in.

Okay, so what are you...
What's happening here?

I started by putting tires on my chair.

Tires?

Little tires. They go on your chair.

They give you better traction
to zip around the room.

And then there were some parts
that were squeaking,

so I got some WD-40 and here I am.

Are you gonna be able to
put this back together?

Yeah, I'm good with my hands.
I'm handy, mechanical.

What can I do for you?

I'm having a tough time with Zane.

Aren't you always having
a tough time with him?

Not because of me. I'm delightful.

Here's the thing.

Lockheed is a good buy right now

because they make the Hellfire missile,
which is shot out of a Predator drone.

I'm advising my viewers not to buy the stock.

You just said it was a good buy.

It's a great buy if you like money.

But you think it's an immoral stock.

- I do. You know why?
- Yeah, 'cause they make drone missiles.

You get me.

And Zane doesn't want you
to go on the air and say that.

That's close.

You already went on the air and said it,
and now Zane's pissed.

That's exactly it, yeah.

Okay, personally, I think that
your position is commendable,

but you have to listen to your EP.

- Okay.
- All right.

- And one more thing.
- Yeah?

I'm pretty sure I'm the leak.

- Say again?
- Will not having the flu.

I'm pretty sure I'm the leak. I'm the leak.

- How'd that happen?
- A guy invited me to a wedding.

When I was told
I would be doing the 9/11 coverage,

I had to tell him why
I couldn't go to the wedding,

and I could tell he didn't quite believe me,

so I had to make
a very convincing and detailed case

because I told him before
Will didn't get the flu.

- You see my point?
- Yeah.

A guy invited you to a wedding?

Just a friend.
That's not important information.

How'd the story have gotten
from the wedding guy to Nina Howard?

- Nina has a book agent.
- Yeah?

The wedding guy was...
You told Nina Howard's agent?

In my defense,
I was accused of lying to get out of a date.

- That's a terrible defense.
- I agree, so what would you do?

- Don't say a word to Will.
- Just tell Will the truth, right?

Okay, I'll do it your way
while I'm formulating another plan.

- Run that plan by me first, okay?
- Yeah.

Thanks for agreeing with me
on the immoral stock.

And I in no way think that this here
is a reaction to your breakup with Maggie.

Well, you were gonna go to a wedding
with a book agent for no reason at all,

and book agents beat their wives.

I don't think they do.

- Ask around.
- I will.

- Taylor.
- Jim.

In June, Governor Romney said,
"I believe the world is getting warmer,

"and I believe humans
have contributed to that."

Last week he said,
"Do I think the world is getting hotter?

"Yeah. I don't know
if it's caused mostly by humans."

What new information
raised doubts for the Governor?

Governor Romney isn't willing to
spend trillions of dollars

on something he doesn't know the answer to.

Got it, but that wasn't my question.

In June, this last June,
102 days ago, the Governor...

Asked and answered, Jim.

I read some of your stuff
last night in my room.

That's a little creepy.
Especially in the quiet voice you're using.

You know, I'm trying to compliment you.

I thought they were really good,
except for the parts that weren't.

And you've been kind of nasty to me
since I got here.

Because we live here and you're visiting.

You're slumming it.
You're a senior studio producer

and you come up here like Captain America
thinking you're gonna school us.

None of that is true.
And some of you need to be schooled.

- This is my third presidential campaign.
- Your third?

I took my junior year off from college
to cover Kerry.

Why'd you leave the Denver Post?

Because once McCain
got the nomination four years later,

I was replaced by someone
with more experience

who didn't ask questions I wanted answers to.

- Like what?
- Like women's issues.

- Choice?
- Yeah. Choice is the only women's issue.

And it's just a women's issue

because we all got pregnant reading
Lady Chatterley's Lover.

- So you started your own website...
- With an investor.

To make sure you didn't get bigfooted
once Romney gets the nomination...

To write in my own voice.

And ask the questions
you wanted answers to.

Yeah.

How's that part been going?

I'm starting to understand
why Maggie was running so fast.

I was hoping you could run a couple names
through your VA database for me.

Yes, I'm trying to reach
Humboldt County Records.

Marines, probably Special Ops, MARSOC,
and stationed in or near J-bad.

We have one source
and we're trying to get the next.

Can you tell me, have you ever
heard the name Operation Genoa?

- Genoa.
- We should be checking Twitter, too.

- You think somebody saw it?
- Somebody saw us getting bin Laden.

- I don't know. I'm a ticking time bomb.
- That was in... Thank you.

That was in a suburban neighborhood.
This is in the middle of a pile of rocks.

I'd be amazed if a village in North Waziristan
has cell service, let alone Twitter users.

They have cell service.

How do we search every tweet

that was posted in the area
sometime around March 2009?

You're gonna use something called Topsy.
It narrows the area and the dates.

And you're gonna need a translator,
either Urdu or Pashto.

I'll get on it.

You should have today's talking points in
your e-mail, but I will just reiterate them here.

Governor Romney's
very proud of his 59-point jobs plan.

We've named it Day One, Job One,

and it will lower the unemployment rate
from President Obama's 9.1 to 5.9,

creating 12 million new jobs.

Everybody have that?

- Taylor?
- Jim.

Moody's released a report

saying that 12 million new jobs
will be created in the next four years

no matter who the president is.

Does the Governor
have any comment on that?

The Governor's 59-point jobs plan will create
12 million new jobs in his first term,

cutting the unemployment rate almost in half.

5.9 isn't almost half of 9.1,

and Moody's says
that no matter who the president is...

We think it matters very much
who the president is.

- Follow up?
- Yes.

Is there somebody inside you
operating you with controls?

Good one, Jim.

Day One, Job One.

Governor Romney
was in Portsmouth today

to introduce his economic plan,

promising to cut unemployment almost in half
with his 59-point jobs proposal.

Touting his experience in the private sector,

today found the former CEO
campaigning in Portsmouth,

where Governor Romney unveiled
his Day One, Job One plan

that would add 12 million new jobs
in his first term.

The 59-point proposal

promises to cut President Obama's
unemployment rate nearly in half.

You know, Jim, if you'd open up a little,
we could have, like, a bond or something.

Embeds bond on the road.
And there's a lot of sex.

- For who?
- Players gotta play.

- With who?
- Whom.

Shut the fuck up, that's with whom.

- Jim, are you feeling me?
- I really hope not.

You can't force a bond.

It happens in every road movie.

Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.
Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.

Which one of those guys are you?

Bing and Dean.
And you can be Dorothy Lamour.

I didn't pack my sarong.

I'll buy you a sarong if you'll wear it.

I'll sew you a sarong if you'll wear it.

You're not wearing a sarong.

- So just you?
- Nobody's wearing a sarong.

You got one.

- Your guy can't just e-mail the translations?
- He doesn't like e-mail.

- Why?
- I didn't follow up.

Wazir_teacher tweets,
"Uncle just intro me to #Misbah-ul-Haq!"

Find out who Misbah-ul-Haq is.

Hang on.

He's a cricket player.

Keep calling.

Get this guy to translate faster.

Neal, listen, I need you to give serious
and immediate attention to the website.

- Are we down? I would have been alerted.
- No, it's up and running, but it's not...

The blog isn't accomplishing what it should.

And even though I can't tell you specifically
what to change, I want a complete overhaul.

I see, you're doing a topical satire of OWS.

Well, I'm not willing to say
exactly what I'm doing,

because I don't want it corrupted
by the media.

It's a good joke.

And while I am the boss, we don't have
"leaders," so there's really no one...

Can I show you something?

We experienced a massive failure
of our banking system,

which devastated the lives
of millions of people, right?

Protesters marched last Saturday
and got pepper sprayed by the police.

This is the Fox coverage, which was about...

Does pepper spray hurt?

Now you see...

Then I guess the pepper spray happens
right there and the women go down.

Arthur, I don't know.
I see these women screaming.

It's like they've been shot in the face.

Now, listen,
I've never been pepper sprayed in the face,

but there's got to be an argument

that they're being overly dramatic,
that they're playing it up for the cameras.

And that very well may be the fact.
It's just so hard...

- That wasn't a great report.
- It was better than our nothing.

Neal, the incoherence,
the hand signals and the nonsense,

these guys don't make it easy.

I think...

I really feel that by fixating on...

And one of your Occupy idiots

jumped in front of the cab in front of me
in an Uncle Sam costume this morning

and we slammed into a honey wagon.

I walked the other 14 blocks in the rain.

Do you know what happens
to my shoes in the rain?

- Was anyone hurt?
- Yes.

But incredibly,
not the guy in the Uncle Sam costume.

- Mac...
- OWS does nothing for me.

Their disdain for leadership is producing,
surprise, no leaders.

- If that's their worst crime...
- No, it's not.

Their worst crime
is making the Tea Party look good.

How can you say...

I can say that because there are 87 members
of the Tea Party who write laws now

and OWS has a cardboard library.

You think you need to convince me
this is serious?

It is and they're blowing it.

They made themselves the punch line, not us.

- Can't you get past the punch line?
- No.

Well, it probably helps that...

- What?
- Nothing.

Probably helps that what?

That the shoes you walked 14 blocks in
cost $1,200.

- Okay, that was spunky.
- I didn't mean to imply...

- Yes, you did.
- Yeah, I did.

Here we go, then.

Find me a bright, articulate, informed
representative of the pajama party,

and I will give them five minutes
of national prime time air with Will McAvoy.

You will?

Yes, but you should warn him or her that
he or she is gonna get their limbs torn off.

This was a big one and they fucked it up.

Don't get me a tomato can.

I want him to beat the shit out of
the best they've got.

But he'll be fair?

He's a lot of things, man,
but has he ever been unfair?

If I don't get a name soon,
I'm just gonna start randomly firing people!

I mean in real life.

No.

You're in the batter's box now, brother.

You brought my shoes into it.

Got it.

Thank you.

AzizaAfgala.
"Tea, talk, more tea, more talk. #Villagelife."

If I ask nicely,
you think your translator could take longer?

- Excuse me.
- Sorry about this.

Hey, Zane, Sloan.

What's with your chair?

It was squeaky and now he's fixed it.

- Is there something wrong?
- Yeah, I would appreciate it

if you would let me produce my show
and you produce your show.

I don't give Elliot notes behind your back,
in front of your back.

- He didn't give me notes.
- You came to me and said Don Keefer agrees.

- He did agree.
- That's giving you notes.

- This is our discussion.
- Do I need to be here for it?

It's Market Wrap-Up.

Just tell people what happened today,
what to do tomorrow.

We are not talking about drones.

If you're gonna speak to me like that,
you really should get me a chew toy.

- I would like an apology.
- I'm sorry.

- For what?
- I don't know.

This is not the first time this has happened.

You put shit in her head.

Zane, she's got 50 IQ points on both of us.
There's nothing I can put in her head.

Now, can I suggest that we all just...

It's the new tires.

It's my understanding
that Sloan's advice to consumers

was that they'd make money off the stock.

- But that they shouldn't buy it.
- If they have a problem with drones.

Which I thought was good information.

- And that's what he said.
- Yes, but not the only thing I said.

- He did say something else.
- And what was that?

That I have to do what my EP tells me to,
but I thought that was bad advice.

I thought you were one for two on advice,
which ain't bad.

- Sloan.
- Zane, I'm telling people where

the fucking money comes from,
and if you have a problem with that,

you should speak to the president
of the news division, Charlie Skinner.

And if you ever lead me by the wrist
through that newsroom again,

I'm gonna take out each of your goddamn
knuckles with a ball peen hammer.

God damn it!

All right.

So I'm gonna go tell Will it was me.

Yeah, I know. You want me to come with you?

Will isn't as scary as people...
Yes, because I think if there's a witness...

Yeah.

Getting to Mars isn't the problem.

We know how to get to Mars. It's getting back.

- So here's what I'd do...
- Come in.

Charlie's here for this, too.
That's exactly what I was hoping for.

Here for what?

I'm pretty sure I was the leak.

Really?

I was supposed to go
to a wedding with a guy,

and I would have been out on the 11th,

and when I found out I was going on,
I told him.

So he knew you were off
before you got the flu.

And it turns out
the guy's Nina Howard's book agent.

You told Nina's book agent?

I didn't know he was her agent at the time.

I knew he was an agent,
but it wasn't until I googled him...

- Why'd you google him?
- You know, after drinks.

- You had drinks?
- This part doesn't matter.

- It matters to me a little.
- Why?

I'm not sure.

- Wait, this is wrong.
- I know.

What do we think
the appropriate punishment should be?

I think certainly
she should be mocked relentlessly.

You said Nina asked you if you took yourself
off voluntarily, or if Reese or Leona did it.

And you told her that I took you off.

And she said
she liked that you told her the truth.

Yeah?

How did she know you were telling the truth?

Did you tell the wedding guy
who took Will off?

No. In fact,
I wouldn't have been able to because...

Because Will told everyone
it was his decision.

- Son de la bitch.
- Are you kidding me?

Get it out of the safe.
I want him to hear the branch creak.

What's going on?

Guys, we thank you for your help.

But at this point, we must go alone.

- I wasn't the leak?
- No.

- All right.
- You still couldn't keep your mouth shut.

- Just open the safe.
- I am.

- Did you forget the combination?
- No.

It's right...

Then past the original.

- Oh, God.
- Do you know what's going on?

I do, but I'm not telling you

because you went out for drinks
with a book agent.

I had to make up
for canceling on the wedding.

When you get married and he yells at you

for not liking
the new unabridged edition of Peer Gynt,

- don't come...

- Got it!
- All right.

Will.

We ride.

"Karzai accuses us. Zardari accuses them.

"We're all Pashtun."

- Can we see him?
- I'll see if he's...

Good.

Did you tell Nina Howard
that I didn't have the flu

and that Charlie took me off
the anniversary coverage?

Come on in.

- Did you tell Nina Howard...
- Yes.

I'm sorry?

Yes, I did. Anything else?

Why?

I didn't like that you blackmailed me.

I didn't like that you blackmailed
my mother and this company.

I don't like the condescension
or that I'm an object of derision for you.

I don't like that you average 1.5 a night
when you could be getting two million.

I don't like the trouble
you cause the rest of the company

when you gleefully and arrogantly insult

anyone who doesn't conform
to your certainty.

I don't like...
Was that enough? You need more?

- You did it just to do it?
- Yep.

You didn't care
how it made the company look?

We look great.

We look like we're sensitive to the situation.
Or we were gonna anyway.

Somehow, you got her to kill the piece,
so I'll have to leak it to someone else.

- No.
- Yeah.

'Cause we did blackmail you.

It wasn't bluster when I said I don't care.
I don't care.

- Your mother cares.
- Mrs. Lansing is more than happy

to let me handle
extremely low-level problems, like the tape,

which we all know
you're never gonna play for anyone.

I've met you halfway.

I've cared about numbers.
I cared about SOPA when you asked me to.

- But we had an arrangement.
- You had an arrangement.

Maybe you need to be reminded
what's on here.

Hang on.

- Did you press...
- Yeah.

I think I... Wait.

Fast-forward.

- What the hell, Will?
- What? Me? It was on record.

- Didn't you listen to it?
- Did I what?

Did you listen to it?

I just put it in the safe. The chain of evidence.

I didn't want...
Well, I don't know what I didn't want.

- You're such a dumb ass!
- Can I see that a sec?

Maybe the volume...

I'm the president of AWM.

You don't meet me halfway.
You meet me the whole way.

Go do your show.

Some news, everybody.

Huntsman's fired his New Hampshire
campaign manager, Ethan Eilon,

which is not surprising,

and replaced him with
Sarah Crawford Stewart,

who most recently worked on
the Pawlenty campaign,

which was, of course, a huge success.

So those of you who feel Huntsman
hasn't been getting enough coverage...

Shit, Jim, did you have
any friends in school at all?

What's the Governor's plan
with regard to Iran?

The Governor said repeatedly
that he won't allow a nuclear Iran.

- But what's his plan?
- We talked about jobs today.

How's he gonna restart
Israeli-Palestinian negotiations?

- By getting elected president.
- Yesterday he said four times

that health insurance premiums have gone up
$2,500 due to ObamaCare.

They've gone up $1,500
and it's due to higher health care costs.

- Any comment?
- No.

The jobless recovery chart buried in
Day One, Job One, pick-a-bale-of-cotton,

seems to imply that the Obama recovery took
place in 2007 when Obama wasn't president.

- Any comment?
- Somebody want to get Jim a Valium?

How's the Governor plan to work with

what will probably be
a new Islamist government in Egypt?

We talked about jobs today.

I'd like a half hour
face-to-face with the candidate.

- Me, too.
- A half hour.

Sit down, Jim.

Does anybody want to join me?

Are you really okay not doing any reporting?

- Sit down.
- Sit down.

I don't get it.

Why not just point the camera
at the talking points e-mail

and play music in the background?

- Jim.
- Hallie, ask the question.

- Sit down, Jim.
- Ask.

If you don't, I'm gonna,
and you're gonna know you're a lame fraud.

- She's a professional.
- Sit, now.

All right.

April 9, 2002,
Mitt Romney completes a questionnaire

provided by
the National Abortion Rights Action League.

Everything is in your talking points memo.

Yeah, no, it's not,
'cause in this questionnaire,

he said, "I respect and will protect
a woman's right to choose.

"This choice is a deeply personal one."

We're not talking about that today.

I'm talking about it today.

June, this past June, 102 days ago,

your candidate said,
"I support the reversal of Roe v. Wade."

Don't let Jim egg you on.

Don't change the fucking subject. Which is it?

Let's everybody calm down.

We know the questions.
Why aren't we insisting on answers?

Because they want to stay on the bus.

Why?

It's not a press bus. It's a free media bus.

We can get off this bus, rent cars

and cover the campaign
the way a campaign should be covered.

Like a cross-examination in a courtroom.

We can force them to answer our questions
if we do it together, if nobody backs down.

They need us.

Who's with me?

I am.

Okay, who else?

Oh, God.

Do you have a plan?

I'm formulating one.

Right.

Well, you know, take your time.

I lifted some turkey sandwiches.

Nice.

- Maggie.
- Yeah?

- I didn't even know you were still here.
- We're both working late.

Public Affairs at AFRICOM
called before the show.

They feel this is a sensitive time
because of the recent troop deployment,

- and they want to pull your clearance, but...
- God.

- No, listen, Maggie.
- Jesus. Let me blow off some steam,

'cause I didn't say anything
when I got youtubed and Don kicked me out,

or Jim started treating me like a sister,

and Lisa stopped
speaking to me because I had this thing.

I had Africa. I had my first story.

And I've taken these pills,

of which one of the side effects should be
extreme paranoia about the side effects.

Listen to me.
They want to pull your clearance, but...

Oh.

Go on.

I got them to agree to it
if you tack on a human interest story.

The troops do a lot of community outreach.

So you and Gary are going to
an orphanage in north Uganda

that shelters kids
whose parents have been killed in the wars.

The troops will pass out textbooks
and soccer balls and you'll get some film.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

- I'm going.
- You're going.

I'm not gonna make a fool out of you.

I know.

Take this.

$100?

You'd be amazed at the trouble
you can get out of with that.

Okay, but I'll be drawing cash from...

No, it's a tradition.

You either come back with the $100 bill or you
come back with the story of where it went.

Good luck.

That was pretty nice
of Nina Howard to kill the piece.

She is nice. I met her last month.

She said she regretted
a lot of things she'd done.

I should call and thank her.

- Hello?
- Hi.

This is your old friend MacKenzie McHale.
I hope I'm not calling too late.

No, no, not at all. It's great to hear from you.

I just wanted to say thanks
for killing the piece.

- I owe you one.
- I hacked your phone.

I think I owe you more than one.

- All right, have a good night.
- You, too.

- Listen.
- Yeah?

- Nothing.
- Okay.

Can I cash in?

I didn't hear that.

On the more than one.

MacKenzie?

Do you happen to remember
the rest of Will's message after he said,

"I'm not just saying this because I'm high"?

I was just curious.

Yeah, no, he said he thought you did
an amazing job with the coverage.

With the bin Laden coverage.

He... I mean,

I don't remember it word for word,
but it was about how you did a great job.

That's really nice. It was a team effort.

I'll bet.

All right. Anyway, thanks again.

Have a good night.

MacKenzie just called me.

- Why?
- To thank me for killing the piece.

You don't have to look
like you did something wrong.

Jerry's guys are still here working the phones.

They stay late every night.

I think it's time.

Me, too.

Is this the Menendez
that served with MARSOC in 2009?

I'm sorry for calling so late.

Jerry.

I know.

I've got to pull the plug.

It's a true story, Mac.

All right, everybody, thanks anyway.

Happy to be done with this guy.

What's...

It's written phonetically. What's Willie Pete?

- Hmm?
- What's Willie Pete?

It's white phosphorus.

Hamni8. "Willie Pete everywhere. Burning."

Hamni8. "Helicopters, grenades."

Hamni8. "Men in gas masks. Machine guns."

Hamni8. "Burning."

Hamni8. "Americans. White smoke."

Hamni8. "Two helicopters.
No markings on them, but they're American."

This is from the translator.

"I'm translating the next Hamni8 tweet.
It was sent 32 minutes after the last."

Why'd he stop for 32 minutes?

- Jamming.
- What?

Digital frequency hopping.

We'd have jammed the radio
frequencies cell phones use.

He's describing Genoa.