The New Avengers (1976–1977): Season 1, Episode 12 - Dirtier by the Dozen - full transcript

The spot check should mean
just that turn him.

Expected you catch him on a hop.
- Yes, sir.

Many units been stationed in England so long.

No real active service.

They get sloppy. Unsoldierlike.
- Yes, sir.

Discipline goes to the war.

I aim to catch him.

Do you understand?

No guard.
Things are worse than I thought.

Colonel Miller has a reputation
as a stickler for discipline, sir.

Has he?



I aim to take that Colonel Miller's head.

Perhaps Colonel Miller may have
mounted a special parade.

Absolutely deserted.

- Oh, come on.
- Right, sir.

Stay right where you are!

Now, look here!
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,900
What!

Stay right where you are!

What I need is a woman's eye.

That's not what I heard.

This is business Purdey.

Travis called me said he was onto something hot.

Something is show me
as soon as he arrived.

Show you?

That's what I thought.



He'd taken the trouble to chain
these films to his wrist.

So it has to be then.

What do you think?

Well ...

Nothing actually leaps off
the screen at me.

Travis died for these films, Purdey.

Least we can do is look at them.

Good of you to come, Steed.

I might say it's good of you to ask me.
But I'm not quite sure why you ask me.

Quite simple really.

Stay forward.

What about generals?

You seem to have mislaid him.

This is unacceptable.

I don't know what going on here,
but I surely do know that ...

... that man needs medical attention.

It's against all the rules of humanity.
- You what? Humanity?

You'll be all right Freddie.
You're arm now.

Medics will put you right, aren't you?

That's all I can do Colonel.
It seems too much.

- You acted correctly?
- Correctly.

- It seems I saw our boys ...
- Attention!

You're referring to a superior officer.
Put this man on the charge sergeant.

Yes, sir.

It will be necessary to
confine you, General.

But you will be accorded
all the courtesies your rank demands.

And your aide will be transferred
to the sick bay immediately.

Carry on son.
- Sir.

When was the last time
you saw the general?

Some days ago.

He took off with his aide, Tony.
- Tony?

- Captain Tony Noble.
- Took off where?

Do you know,
I never thought too hard.

Could it be just like old boy.

Dropping on someone you suspect.
I mean, I suppose.

Did he offer dropping on
unsuspecting units?

Way of life with General Stevens.
Spot checks, catch on the hop.

There is too many units suffering from
lack of real war experience.

That's the fifth time.

Six.

Well, I still haven't seen anything.
Have you?

A lot of soldiers playing soldiers.

Except they're not playing.

Why woman's eye?
- Oh, that ...

... was a downright lie.

I called you over because ...

Well, I get lonely sometimes.

- That solves it.
- What?

Your Christmas present
been bothering me.

I buy you a dog.
- Two heads are better than one.

I'm definitely not buying you another head.

Watch the film.

Freddie.

Freddie.
How you feeling?

Freddie.

He looks worse to me.

You never mind him.
He's the enemy.

It's Freddie you should be tending to.

He's looking worse.

Well, he certainly isn't getting any better.
- Well, do something, aren't you?

He was wounded.

We understand wounds.

He has some kind of a bug.
Fever.

I've got the equipment.

Just have to see how it goes.

A proper hospital would know.

Narrows it down a bit.
- What do you mean?

Head up, man. Head up!

Well, at the general sets
out from here ...

... to make one of his spot-check.

Open up, man. Open up!
How many more time I will say?

His sets out from here.
The number of units within range are ...

... primitive.

Yes, yes. Just like you said.
No more than three call emerged.

There'd be Miller's mob.

The old 33.
That's Roy Foster's bunch.

All right Foster. I think
I can make a nice casual contact there.

Nothing.

Nothing.

- Definitely.
- Positively.

- Indisputably.
- Unquestionably.

I bet you avoid to defining it.

Phone.

Gambit's movie house?

Steed.

I told I find you there.

I'd resist something like that.

- What? - Never mind.
What you want me to do?

And I warn you.
Not day for me risky answers.

Don't you ever armed and going ...

Well, I'd like to
if you were going to ...

I find out General Stevens is ...

... and his solders ...

Yes, I think so.
You want me to go down to the ...

...Eeeee. And find out his Shhhhh.
Booom!

And if so did he bo boommm!

- You been drinking?
- Don't worry, I've got it. I'm on my way.

Well, you'll have to amuse you without me.

Anyway, this is where I came in.

- He should go to the proper hospital.
- Come on, you know that's impossible.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Now, look!
- Not one word.

Freddie!

Come on.

Come on out, son.

Take the blanket on, Mike.
That's all you need.

Fire freaks you up.
Come on.

I want him alive!

I want alive example.

Why didn't you get into a doctor before?

Well, it wasn't possible.

Well, I mean is.
It didn't seem that serious.

Just a fever.

Well, he's gonna be all right?

He's my friend, you see.

We've been through a lot together.

That's why I brought him here.

I expect it's just a case of
you giving him some pills in that.

I think it'll take more than a few pills.

I think you better explain.
- Explain?

Yes. You see your friend is
showing all the symptoms ...

Private George Harris.
You've been tried by a fair and proper ...

... drumhead court martial.

I have heard all the evidence
and as president of this court marshal ...

... I now pronounce you guilty.

Prisoner escort, attend.
Heed!

Private George Harris.
Although you acted out of loyalty ...

... to a friend, a friend who since
died a natural death.

You put your comrades at arms at risk.

It is therefore
the sentence of this court ...

... that you be taken from here ...

Sorry, Miss.

This the red flags up.

Would it be long?

Shouldn't think so.

There is another road
if you wish to use it, Miss.

I wait.

Maneuvers?

Yes, yes.

You're the 19th special commando,
aren't you?

- The glorious 19th, Miss
- Mad 19th.

Fire!

Mad?

That's your nickname.

And your colonel.
Did they call him ...

Hangfire.

You can go through now, Miss.

Mad Jack.
That's it.

'Mad Jack' Miller.

Anything, anything at all.
Ah, Steed.

Doctor was attacked, patient snatched away
and the man who brought him.

I can see why I'm involved.

I wouldn't have thought of it
except for the manner of the attack.

Doctor?

Well, they were very expert.
Slick. Like a military operation.

And they were dressed like commandos.

And the patient they snatched?

I didn't get a chance to learn
his name on his condition.

And that was not enough.
He was suffering from a fever.

A very rare one.
Tropical.

Unknown in this country.

In fact, I wouldn't expect to find it
outside of an African jungle.
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:33,000
Oh, Emperor of the dogs.
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,300
Emperor!
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,100
What am I saying?
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:38,500
Which emperor is this?
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,100
Place of entertainment
and moving pictures.

Dammed! You wiseacre.
Didn't I tell you?

I've told you 100 times ...
- Is only fit for peasants and polar bears.

- Purdey!
- Hello, colonel.

Bless my soul!

Bless my soul.

Keller!

- Yes, sir.
- How dare you?

- How dare you admit a female
into this office? - I'm sorry, sir.

Stop now and offering her a drink.

A gin. Measure of orange,
punch recipes and ginger ale.

My memory all right?
- And some ice. Sorry about that.

- Well, see do it man. See do it.
- Yes, sir.

You're still a snob bully.

Nice to have you around.
You be good for my image.

Nice of you to spare me the time.

In an environment where
there are many men,

... it is invaluable to find
a pretty woman.

And you are a pretty woman Purdey.
Do sit, Purdey.

- Thank you. Cheers.
- Cheers.

- I'm here on business.
- Oh?

How can I help?
- General Stevens.

No, no.
You wouldn't like him.

Not your type, Purdey.
Good soldier. Good soldier buddy.

He likes my soft and wooing manner.

He's lacking all together at the moment.

Disappeared.

Well, thank goodness.

Well, I mean how awful.

Well, I haven't got him, Purdey.
You could search me .

Haven't seen him at all not?

- Not the last couple years, I'd day.
- What about the 19th special commander?

Magic Miller and all that?

What about him?

Well, when I came through,
they were on maneuvers.

Firing.
- Were they?

I didn't know they were
listed for target practice.

Mind, it doesn't amaze me.
Miller runs that mob ...

... as though it was
his own private army.

I .. I'm sorry sir

It was after the business with Harris, sir.

I left the place unattended.
I only for a few minutes, sir.

He can't have gone far
not with that leg wound.

Alert the men, sergeant.
- Right, sir.

Mortar!

Range.

Two four zero.
Four degrees.

Fire at will.

Increase range to two five zero.

Two short.

Correct!
Two degrees left.

Range two.

Damn!

Smoke!

Lay smoke.

Three zero degrees right.

Help me!

Help me, please!

Over here!

You shouldn't be here, miss.
Restricted area very dangerous.

Luckily we spotted you in time.
Anyway, what are you doing here?

I was curious.
I heard some explosions.

Of course you would.
We're on maneuvers.

But there was a man.
He was wounded.

Playing of being wounded, miss.

We like to make our little activities
as authentic as possible.

I'll never forget that face again.

This one?

Yes.

As you can see, Purdey
I haven't been wasting my time.

That face appears on every piece of film.

I cut them all out
and blew that one up.

It was the clearest print.

That.. is what Travis
was trying to tell us.

Travis covered every single flare up
over the past few years.

In a dozen countries
all around the world.

And in every single flare up.

That face.

But how could that be, Purdey?

How could one man be fighting
in all those wars.

Especially, when he's serving
British officer.

All official document I could find
the 19th special commando.

I prefer to hear
a blow-by-blow description.

- Starting with?
- Colonel Miller.

"Mad Jack" Miller.

I say.
That's a 95th rifleman, isn't it?

Only one in existence.

And that's a French Cavalry.

Complete.

Look at the little leather pouch in
which he keeps his brandy.

- These are incredible.
- Irreplaceable.

Would you like to look more closely?
- Ok, I'm sorry to disturb you at playtime.

Now.
Mad Jack Miller.

- What about him?
- Exactly.

Oh, yes, sorry.
I see what you mean, yes.

He's a good soldier.
Might even have made full general.

If he hadn't fallen out with the top brass.

How?

Mad Jack's a fighting man tends to rush it
a problem with beneath fixed.

That's why they gave him
the special commando.

Why special?

Because they're the dregs on the roads,
malingerers, hard cases.

They all end up in the special 19th.
Mind you ...

Miller does seem to have welded them
into a fighting force.

Weld it being the operative word.

There hasn't been a single man who's gone
absent without leave in the past two years.

Nobody go naval?

Nobody?
- Nobody.

- Remarkable.
- Remarkable.

- A complete spirit of vengeance.
- I'd like to know how he does it, wouldn't we?

All I know the nice girls love sailor.

But.

All the soldiers love a nice girl.
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,200
A glass of orange juice, please.

Hello, sweatheart.
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,200
Please, go on.

What have you done with my aide?

Or does your madness extend
to brutalizing wounded man?

Captain Noble has been
returned to the sickbay.

He's under constant guard,
but is being attended to.

You take me for a barbarian.

You're worse than that.
You're a disgrace to your uniform.

You'd be surprised how often
I have honored it.

Honour?

You talk of honour?

Unlock this door, damn it.
I'm your superior officer!

Exactly.

You are a general.
And I have been looking for a general.

I'm an ambitious man.
You're the key to my ambition.

Sir.

Yes?

What?

Special commando.
It sounds terribly dangerous.

Oh, you like a touch of danger,
do you, miss?

The danger, not the touch.

Makes a girl feel free secure
surrounded by so much army.

Yeah, that girls go for uniform.

That's dogs.

- What?
- Dogs. They give a percent.

Look, I see you come to ...

Fighting men.

You're not, are you?
- What do you mean?

We're trying out trying.
- Oh, don't doubt that.

Trained to shoot and bomb
and mangle people ...

... or whatever it is you do.

But no one to practice on.

- You might be surprised.
- Oh, you know something I don't know.

I might just.

Come on, admit it. You're all dressed up
to kill with nowhere to go.

Yeah?

What about this then?

- Hairy forearm.
- Yes.

Bump into filing cabinet.

Yes, South American filing cabinet.
He came to me with a machete ...

- Stop that!
- No, six feet under.

What were you doing in South America?

What are we all doing?
Fighting, fighting! Yes!

Attention!

This bar's now,
out of bounds off limits.

Sergeant, arrest this man.
- Sir!

This is not a place for a young woman.

You must allow me to escort you
somewhere else.

Thanks, I'm very happy.

I insist.

I absolutely insist.

After you.

I'm afraid, we have no facilities
for the imprisonment of young women.

You mean, you haven't got a hairdryer?

I mean that there are no
special considerations.

I regard you as a spy.

Why or for whom
I've yet to ascertain.

But I will, I promise you.
I will.

Come!

With your permission, Sir.

You adjutant, sir.

Major Gambit reporting for duty, sir.

- Care for a drink?
- Sir.

Classicism of Waterloo
has never had been equalled.

Never.

Never equalled.
Not in my view.

- Prentice, have you seen this?
- What's that old boy?

Purchased by Colonel Miller
for essential equipment.

Normal.

500 camel saddles?

Camel saddles?

You're puzzled.
The 19th commando in Arab uniform. why?

I'll tell you why.

Because we're prepared for
every eventuality that's why.

- But colonel ...
- Explanation will have to do, major.

For the amendment.

Your official army record ...

... it writes interesting things.

The allegation about the regimental fun.
- There's no truth in it, sir.

And I suppose no truth
in the womanizing.

The appropriation of army problem ...

Nothing has ever been proved
against me, sir.

Which means you're innocent
or exceptionally cunning.

The only allegation which
hasn't been made against you is carding.

In terms of practical soldiering,
you pass first class.

It's a disgusting record, major.
Despicable.

So as I'm concerned.

You're best recommendation
they could have.

You're in the 19th special commando now, major.

We do things rather definit care here.

As you will see.

Discipline is all.
Would you agree, major?

I would be, sir.

Wellington knew how to maintain it.
Traitors face immediate death.

Minded transgressors face the ordeal of
a rough ride lashed to a gun carriage.

And who we to dicipline running to.

Carry on, sergeant.
- Sir.

Justices seem to be done.
And it is a sanitary lesson to others.

Yes, we do things very differently here.

Dimiss!

Sir.

You are sense your disapproval, major.

Your stomach not as strong as I thought.

I have seen a number of sickening sights
in my time, sir.

I run a tough bunch here, major.
Calls for tough measures.

And ample rewards.

Reward.
Greed for money.

That's the key to all personality,
isn't it?

Well, the lowliest private here
makes ten thousand a year.

As a full, major.
I'd expect triple for you.

Plus a bounty for each sultry.

Danger money.

The Devil finds work for idle hands.

That's how it started really.

Idle hands.

And what more idle hands.

And those were soldiers of
during a period of unremitting peace.

I command a whole unit here, major.
Trained armed and self-sufficient ...

... to the point of having our
own air transport.

A whole fighting unit
with no one to fight.

Yes, across the globe small wars
are always flaring up.

Wars between factions prepared to play
highly of a trained men.

You follow me?
- I'm beginning to get the drift, colonel.

Don't make the mistake of thinking of me
as a political animal.

I'm not.

No.

I'm a professional.

I fight for reward.

And the pickings are very easy.

Put a professional amongst the amateurs
to him against ramshackle terrorists ...

... and fools are want to die for a cause.

And the pickings are very easy indeed.

Mass is a turn bandit around
a lot these days.

But the 19th special commando
are the real mercenaries.

We fight for high pay.

And along the route, we make
that old army joke into a reality.

Anything that isn't nailed down belongs to me.

We had elevated the crime
of looting into a fine art.

And I haven't even started yet.

That's enough!

- I know about Barbarian.
- What did they do, colonel?

- He was indiscreet with the enemy.
- Enemy.

What enemy, sir?

Young woman.

The attractive young woman actually.

Don't worry, major.

We have her safety under lock and key.

Desperate situations.

Desperate remedies.

What ...

What?

- How many fingers on my hand?
- What hand?

Oh, Prentice.

I..
I think, I must have dozed off.

Yes, but you're awake now.
I'm making excellent sense.

Camel saddles.

Lightweight canoes.

Alpine tackle.

Ammunition.

More ammunition.

Conclusion?

Going into a desert area
where there's water to cross ...

... mountains and fighting.

Exactly.

Where would you find deserts,

... mountains,

... waters to cross?

If some fool with a start trouble there.
Now ...

The Middle East could go up in flames.

Could even escalate into
World War Three.

Purdey.

Now, what we do, start building a nest?

Are you in good shape?

Silly question.

- Damn!
- What's wrong?

- It's locked.
- Gambit.

- Yes? - I could have told you
it was locked.

Can't you open it?
- It's a hefty lock.

What does help you motivated?

Hey?

- Pretend it's a chastity belt.
- I'll get the key.

Don't go away.

The general is our fuze, sergeant.

Sir?

A fuze is something
you attach to a bomb.

And a bomb is something that goes bang.
- I know that, sir.

This is what we've had
the soldiers do so far.

Little Wars, troubles that broke out ...

And it takes more than that to fly us, sir.

Yes, but we have to wait for that call.

We've not yet created
our own opportunities.

Don't you see, sergeant?

If we could create our own war,
guide it, control it.

Somewhere where the pickings are rich, sir.

Exactly.

And where are the pickings
so rich at the moment?

The Middle East.

Homes of oil rich chicks,
banks boating with money.

Golden masks
lush with treasure.

They shall become our maker.

Yes, sir.

But I don't see how the general fits in.

At all.

At which to lay the blame?

Soon after, the fighting stauds his body.
The body of a high-ranking British officer.

Will be found amongst the dead.
Country will point the finger of country.

Diplomats will scuffle amongst themselves.
- While we scurry away with the loot, sir.

Yes.

Yes.

Excuse me, sir.
I forgot my copy of standing notice.

Carry on.

Orders of the day, sergeant.

Morning form up from the punishment
parade of been taken care of, sir.

Ten hundred hours
inspection of the guard room.

Eleven hundred hours
adjutant orders, sir.

Do you think he heard?

No, sir.

Anyway, what does it matter.
He's on outside, isn't it?

I hope so.

- Purdey!
- Gambit. Is it you?

We're getting out.

- Your sound scared.
- Scared. That's an understatement.

Terrified.

- Why? - Because Miller isn't
a political animal.

- What?
- It doesn't matter.

But he's planning a strike
which might just end up with ...

... everybody pressing the red button.

Yeah!

No doubt about it.
It's you.

I always knew I was me.

We met before, remember?

The airfield.
Travis.

I remember.

Time we interrogated the girl.

Sir.
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:18,500
No keys, sir.

I didn't do exercise, Gambit.

What do we do now?

Run!

If we're right.

It can't be.

British being run for private gain.

And running us straight into a world war.

Purdey and Gambit're facing a whole army.

It's like damn, major.

Rush him in.

We never make it.

Except this.

If I could rig up some kind of slingshot.

It's not wide enough.

Try this.

Oh, double-barreled slingshot.

Why didn't you burn this
along with the other girls?

I didn't need to.
I knew has liberated.

Well ...
Here goes Purdey.

Bravo.

Remember, I want them alive!

Grab the commander.

Demoralize the whole army.

- You wait here.
- No!

You wait here.

What you need Mike Gambit
is a little diversion.

Purdey!

Purdey!

DANGER
KEEP OUT - KEEP AWAY
MINEFIELD.

Drop it!

I said drop it, sir.

No sergeant.

You drop it.

Drop it!

Now walk this way.

Very ...

... very slowly.

Come on!

Now colonel ...

... call them off.

You hear me?

I hear you, but I think
you might be just too late.

Purdey!

Stay where you are!

Minefield!

Purdey, no!

No!

Mike Gambit.

Checkmate, I think.

Only I know the safe path
through that minefield.

If you value the young lady's life.

Colonel Miller!

We have you surrounded.

Our arm of division is moving in.

Your fighting days are over,
Colonel Miller.

All of your men are raise their hands.

No, no. I can die
fighting like a soldier.

Minefield!

Cheers Purdey!

Good year.

Subtitling by Ceok